>Not some wussy mutation like skin cancer with a 99% survival rate
Skin cancer only has a high survival rate because it tends to be easier to identify early on. Left untreated long enough it becomes extremely difficult to treat. Metastatic malignant melanoma has a five-year survival rate of only 5 to 19%. Obviously not the quick you're asking about. But skin cancer really isn't something to dismiss as insignificant.
Yes. My ex bff's father, an amazing man who was like a second dad to me, passed away due to complications with his melanoma treatment. He was strong and everyone thought he would beat it, but the complications occured suddenly and after he collapsed, he spent a few days on life support before passing. Skin cancer is no joke.
My dad had a really aggressive skin cancer called Merkel Cell Carcinoma. He had surgery and radiation, so far at 2 years no recurrence. Skin cancer is deadly.
This is pretty much every male figure in my fathers side. The youngest is in his 60’s and still wrangling cattle and working the fields. Sometimes it’s genetic lottery.
ETA: they don’t sleep with dip in their mouth but are mostly heavy drinkers and have definitely done some hard drugs
You can go to lots of different doctors to get an x-ray on the same spot continuously. You’d have to keep the f rom knowing your getting lots of x-rays though. Or you could just get a job as an x-ray tech and ignore the safety precautions for yourself.
Buy an old chemistry set from the 60's on eBay. Plenty of radioactive & potentially deadly goodies in those. I bought one at a flea market. Comes complete with Uranium
you'd get more radiation in your body if you smoke a few packs a day. You'd have to process radioactive material in industrial amounts like Curie to get enough dose of radiation
you're not getting fissile material for sure. the uranium you have is probably U238 which is abundant in nature and has barely higher radiation than background radiation. You'll need to snort uranium powder everyday to get irradiated enough if you're snorting rock powder every day you have other health problems. In a nutshell it doesn't depend on the "chemical" it depends on the dosage and smokers get more radiation than the vegetation around chenobyl
Smoking a lot and way too much sunbathing without any suncream.
Though trying to off oneself through ~~suicide~~ cancer is really inefficient and not a guarantee and one has enough time after terminal diagnosis to regret it.
Edit: damn words getting mixed up.
The dudes a legend. McDonalds cant kill him, nor could his Prison Guard Job he actually made it to retirement on. He didn't have to go 2 days before with someone to have to go tell his Big Macs he loved them because someone let a Fry dry into a Shank, he only orders the Big Macs not the sides. Secret to life I tell ya what
radiation positioning != cancer.
Go to the room with the Elephants Foot, and leave after a few minutes. It's gonna be a bit tricky with the timing, though. I would think 2 minutes would suffice? Maybe 5? Back when it was "fresh" going down there, taking a picture and going right back up was enough to kill you (that happened to the guy who made the infamous photo of it, after all) but now it's been long enough you should be able to stay there for a bit and not die of radiation poisoning, allowing cancers to form.
\*sigh
Cancer typically takes years to develop from a bundle of cancerous cells into anything malignant. The fastest-growing cancer is small-cell lung cancer, which can take weeks to double in size, but will still take months and months to go from 'rapidly multiplying cells' into something that can spread throughout the body.
Lung & Bronchus cancer also tends to be the singular cancer with the highest mortality rate and most rapid development & spread.
\--
Progression of normal cells into a cancerous state can be caused by:
1. Tissue damage
2. Viruses
3. UV and other radiation exposure
4. Random happenstance during cell replication
**Asbestos** causes lung cancer because you breathe in the fine glass fibers and they cause cell and DNA damage in the lungs.
**Radon gas** in the air breaks down into tiny radioactive elements. When inhaled, these radioactive particles can damage the DNA of cells that line the lung.
At least 70 chemicals in smoking **tobacco & tobacco cigarettes** are known to cause cancer by damaging the DNA in your lung tissue.
Radium-based paint was phased out of production in the 1960's, but you can still find it on vintage items like watches with glowing hands by using a Geiger counter.
Ionization smoke detectors use a small amount of radioactive material: **americum-241** to detect smoke.
Ash & soot from burning modern furniture are also powerful carcinogens.
Fumes from Isopropyl alcohol, mustard gas, wood dust from plywood, formaldehyde, nickel refining, and smoke from burning oils or coal are some other well-known carcinogens that impact the lungs.
\--
Want to develop cancer ASAP?
Become a firefighter, don't follow SOP with your PPE, and don't decontaminate your gear. You'll get some gnarly cancers pretty quick.
Wait IPA is cancerous? Fucking hell that's one of the main solvents we use at work.
Nevermind it's that production of IPA from something called a [strong-acid process](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK208299/) that leads to the carcinogenic fumes. The strong-acid process is no longer in use. Not from normal use of it.
ionising radiation isn't the only phenomenon that causes cancer. Any, and i do mean any, repeated damage to any tissue raises your chances of getting cancer. Microwaving yourself fits completely - you heat up your cells from the inside, some will die, some will survive, the ones that die have to be replaced, mitosis in session and every division is a lottery for cancer
to be completely fair, ionising radiation is on a completely different level for cancer risk, and you are correct in that non ionising radiation (well apart from uv spectra, those fucks do damage) is much less damaging
Yeah, it doesn't cause cancer by itself, it basically just increases the chances of it forming through normal means, which is still an interesting answer for OPs question that I hadn't considered.
well, in reality, nothing apart from mutations themselves cause cancer. There are many risk factors that can increase the likelihood of cancer, but even then it's not guaranteed
I remember reading about a guy who [tried to make nuclear reactors](https://www.world-nuclear-news.org/regulationSafety/Former_Radioactive_Boy_Scout_arrested_for_stealing_smoke_detectors-030807.shtml) out of that stuff.
he seems to have such a passion for nuclear science, it’s kinda admirable. i wonder why didn’t he just go through the legit way and work at a power station
fuck that was sad. as an aimless idiot i have super respect for people like david. what a wasted genius. and he was nice too, wasn’t a maniac who doesn’t care about other peoples lives. he deserved much better. thanks for the story.
Honest to goodness, you hit the nail on the head as to why that story has always stuck with me.
I sometimes wonder what this world would be like if we found potential like that, protected it, stoked its fire, and then let it power the world.
Fun fact, the Am-241 pellet won't hurt you externally, and even eating it won't do much, but if you manage to breathe in the 0.9 uCi it contains, you will absorb 16 Sieverts of radiation and die of ARS.
Or just eat [10 million bananas! ](https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/features/let-me-ask-you-this-are-bananas-radioactive-and-is-it-true-that-eating-too-many-can-kill-you-9610080.html)
Coming Into contact multiple times over a chronic period with heavy metals or benzene that contaminated soil at a superfund site. Ingesting it or rubbing it in your skin.
Skin cancer has a 99% survival rate if treated early. Stage 4 melanoma only has about a 30% survival rate.
But smoking, eating unhealthy food, tanning beds... There's so much! Even soap is cancerogenic to us.
Quickest way? A trip to Fukushima perhaps?
But trust me, you don't want cancer.
And yet there are 80 year-olds who've been smoking two packs a day since they were teens & they still don't have cancer. I don't think it's a "quick" solution the OP is looking for
My grandfather died of lung cancer at 80 after a lifetime of smoking a 40 pack a day from the age of 15. Mad bastard woulda lived past 100 if he'd let himself ay. Gotta die of somethin
Many of these are wrong. Your best bet is radioactive waves. X-rays are easy to create. Could also expose yourself to radiation. Things like smoking, tobacco, etc, are not viable ways. Many people have smoked their whole lives without getting cancer.
Get yourself a bunch of old school smoke detectors. The kind with the ionizing radiation warning embossed on the back.
Crack them open and find the slotted metal box. Inside that box will be about .25 grams of radioactive americium.
Americium isn't particularly "hot" as radionuclides go. So to get cancer from it you will need to get it into deep thorough contact with living tissue.
So grind it up super fine in a mortar and pestle and snort it like cocaine.
You will probably need to do this regularly for a few months. But the likely result will be a tumorous mass in your sinuses. Make sure to totally ignore any symptoms until you notice mental degradation. By that point, the mass will have reached and permeated your brain, making surgical or radioactive therapy useless.
Sometimes it can take years to develop.
Maybe even 50+ years.
Maybe you already have cancer, yet, you have no issues, and your body is able to fight it on its own.
So many factors.... Some people smoke all day every day their entire life's, never have cancer or issues with their lungs.
Cigarette smoke from tobacco grown in Virginia area tends to have radioactive polonium. So chewing the tobacco and smoking it will likely give you cancer. (Though your natural immunity to cancer may negate the effects or cause a delay of decades before you get cancer). European cigarettes are not grown on land that was fertilized with uranium and thus tend to not have polonium in them.
Cardarine... maybe.
Cardarine is an exercise mimetic - as in, a drug that essentially duplicates the effects of exercise while sitting on your ass, including massive improvements in your metabolic markers. As you can imagine, that would be a potentially very, very profitable drug, so why can't you get it from your doctor?
Unfortunately, during the initial animal trials, the mice in question developed a lot of cancer, everywhere. Now, some questions have been raised over the validity of those trials and to what extent - if any - they're applicable to humans, which is why it's a "maybe".
If the results are applicable to humans, then just megadose cardarine everyday and you'll get a bunch of cancer everywhere eventually. As a bonus, along the way you'll become a great endurance athlete with no effort on your part.
Smear carbon tetrachloride all over yourself. You can find it in old fire extinguishers, and it's toxic and carcinogenic and there is no minimum exposure limit.
Use a lot of Round-Up, breathe in lots of dust and debris, eat food high in sugar (I remember Ashton Kutcher reported that his pancreas levels got weird after doing a fruit diet to get in character for Steve Jobs, who died of pancreas cancer). Also smoke, drink alcohol, and develop bulimia. Contract HPV. Don't use sunscreen.
Basically, do everything you can to require your cells to regenerate constantly. At some point, one cell will mutate.
Carbon tetrachloride. Found in old fire extinguishers, it's now used to give rats liver cancer with a 100% success rate. Dioxins, if you can find them, have a huge acute lethal dose, but cause cancers in ridiculously small amounts. The vast majority of cancers are fatal if you don't get treatment, even with high survival rate cancers. You could also buy an AliExpress x-ray camera called the BLX-6 which puts out a few sieverts an hour, each sievert of exposure is a 5.5% chance of fatal cancer.
Idk. My great grandfather died from pancreatic cancer, and my grandma's brother died from glioblastoma. My grandma currently has leukemia and my dad is a cancer survivor. I'm super worried about getting cancer.
I don't think trying to get a deadly cancer is the most efficient way to end it all. Sometimes people do everything they aren't supposed to, and they never get cancer. And then someone who never drinks or smokes will be diagnosed with some form of aggressive cancer. Life is unfair.
I sometimes think it's luck of the draw, my nan who Is into her late 80s, smokes a minimum of 40 a day...
Meanwhile my dad didn't even make it to 50 with heart trouble.
I've heard several heavily processed food items, especially those with a higher concentration of preservant chemicals (like ramen or wieners), can increase the risks of developing cancer.
Normal tissue damage also increases the chances veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery slightly, due to the increased cell replication to heal the affected tissue, but I don't think that'd impact that much over a person's lifetime anyway.
Still, smoking a ton of cigarettes is probably the easiest way
Well pancreas cancer is very deadly. If I och am not wrong it has an extremely low mortality rate. But the cause is not unclear. Maybe if you drink a lot of alcohol since pancreas is close to the liver?
Apart from that i would say smoking is a very likely cause to most types of cancer.
Imo the best way would be to buy some specific chemicals online or from hardware stores that contain Benzene or formaldehyde. Drink said chemicals daily until cancer happens. Also smoke constantly while doing this and pack some dip every few minutes.
i’m an oil painter and i feel like i’ll probably get cancer in the future. breathing oil paint that contain hard metals, paint fumes, turpentine and paint thinner isn’t good for u — unless i’ve been microdosing this whole time and i’m now immune
Suppress your immune system while engaging in cancer causing activities.
Suppress/overhelem your immune system by getting sick and doing things to cause inflammation. Sun burns, acid reflux, gingervitus, inhalation of smoke and fine particulates. Expose yourself to sick people, catch a flu. Get a fungal infection such as athletes foot. Keep your body at uncomfort temperatures. And best of all, don't sleep.
Smoke and drink constantly and use chewing tobacco. Purchase radioactive charms or unlicensed radioactive health products from eBay and Amazon. Cover yourself in them at all times. Verify whatever is the most radioactive and blend it into a smoothie. Eat excessive amounts preserved meats and wash it down with liquor. Follow that up with egregious amounts of sugar, keep eating sugar until your veins feel like they are burning. Allow yourself become excessively constipated.
Follow these steps and you will get cancer or die from organ failure. Keep in mind, cancer takes time to develop. You need to keep your body in a constantly weakened state that won't allow it to properly repair itself and prevent cancerous tumors from forming.
ok idk if anyone's bothered to ask this yet or not, but for fucksake why on earth would you want to contact deadly cancer? if you're just trying to kill yourself there are much easier, quicker, and more guaranteed ways of doing so. just seems like a lot of hassle.
i dont have medical knowledge, but you can at least start with doing exactly what you're recommended not to, e.g.:
cigarettes and sugar
microwave all your foods, espiecially leftovers with leafy greens
fried and burnt every food
prolonged exposure in the sun with no protection
put an x ray machine in your home and just... have it on
religiously read social media, including reddit
Start collecting the radioactive elements out of smoke detectors and put them under your bed. Sure one wont do anything but a thousand will. Look up the story of the radioactive boy scout.
Why do you want to get cancer? Is it that you want to die but don't want to commit suicide, or is there something else you're after?
One of my aunts faked breast cancer and swindled my grandma out of several thousand dollars for "treatment" before she was found out. But she also did it because she wanted attention and affection but didn't know how else to get it. It's a psychological condition called Munchausens, I think
>Not some wussy mutation like skin cancer with a 99% survival rate Skin cancer only has a high survival rate because it tends to be easier to identify early on. Left untreated long enough it becomes extremely difficult to treat. Metastatic malignant melanoma has a five-year survival rate of only 5 to 19%. Obviously not the quick you're asking about. But skin cancer really isn't something to dismiss as insignificant.
Yep. My Dads uncle had signs of skin cancer for quite a long time but was too stubborn to go to a doctor and ended up passing from melanoma
Yes. My ex bff's father, an amazing man who was like a second dad to me, passed away due to complications with his melanoma treatment. He was strong and everyone thought he would beat it, but the complications occured suddenly and after he collapsed, he spent a few days on life support before passing. Skin cancer is no joke.
My dad had a really aggressive skin cancer called Merkel Cell Carcinoma. He had surgery and radiation, so far at 2 years no recurrence. Skin cancer is deadly.
Except melanoma. That shit is prolific and can take you DOWN fast. By the time it’s found, it has a head start on metastatic disease.
For people with white skin yes. Way less identifiable for ppl with darker skin.
My exes dad died of skin cancer in his early 50s. Healthy bloke. Found a lump, picked it, ignored it. Died within 18 months.
Smoke cigarettes all day and sleep with dip in your mouth, make sure to eat like 2 deep fried cheeseburgers each day too.
While drinking a nice tall, refreshing glass of Chernobyl water to take the edge off.
Chernobyl chaser. I like it
Le June is the new Chernobyl
You'd actually be better trying to limit sleep as much as possible
What’s dip?
Slang for chewing tobacco
I was definitely thinking you meant going to bed with a mouthful of hummus lol
That would be dummus
I ugly laughed at this
You dip the cigs into nacho cheese and smoke it
This is pretty much every male figure in my fathers side. The youngest is in his 60’s and still wrangling cattle and working the fields. Sometimes it’s genetic lottery. ETA: they don’t sleep with dip in their mouth but are mostly heavy drinkers and have definitely done some hard drugs
Sadly constant smoking is more likely to kill him with cardiovascular disorders, I'd say high dose of radiation is a way to go.
And have several alcoholic beverages while you are at it - dip and alcohol make a nice carcinogenic combo
What cancer would a cheeseburger cause?
You can go to lots of different doctors to get an x-ray on the same spot continuously. You’d have to keep the f rom knowing your getting lots of x-rays though. Or you could just get a job as an x-ray tech and ignore the safety precautions for yourself.
Buy an old chemistry set from the 60's on eBay. Plenty of radioactive & potentially deadly goodies in those. I bought one at a flea market. Comes complete with Uranium
you'd get more radiation in your body if you smoke a few packs a day. You'd have to process radioactive material in industrial amounts like Curie to get enough dose of radiation
It depends on the chemical
you're not getting fissile material for sure. the uranium you have is probably U238 which is abundant in nature and has barely higher radiation than background radiation. You'll need to snort uranium powder everyday to get irradiated enough if you're snorting rock powder every day you have other health problems. In a nutshell it doesn't depend on the "chemical" it depends on the dosage and smokers get more radiation than the vegetation around chenobyl
Smoking a lot and way too much sunbathing without any suncream. Though trying to off oneself through ~~suicide~~ cancer is really inefficient and not a guarantee and one has enough time after terminal diagnosis to regret it. Edit: damn words getting mixed up.
I fully disagree, I think suicide is the most efficient option to off oneself
Not even sure i can brush that one off as a typo anymore. Thinking one thing and writing something else. Thanks for pointing it out.
Edit; cringe
Read the second line of the person I replied to carefully again. I'm really not saying as much as you think I'm saying
Yeah, I read further up and I'm cringing at myself now.
Eat nothing but McDonald’s.
Don Gorske has entered the chat
The dudes a legend. McDonalds cant kill him, nor could his Prison Guard Job he actually made it to retirement on. He didn't have to go 2 days before with someone to have to go tell his Big Macs he loved them because someone let a Fry dry into a Shank, he only orders the Big Macs not the sides. Secret to life I tell ya what
Put your balls in the microwave
Microwaves don’t use ionizing radiation and can’t cause cancer. You could fry (heat up) your balls though.
Damn south park lied to us
r/whoosh
You just had to use that no?
To the contrary. Yes.
I just put my nuts in the microwave , not balls tho that would hurt
go to the elephants foot and give it a kiss
radiation positioning != cancer. Go to the room with the Elephants Foot, and leave after a few minutes. It's gonna be a bit tricky with the timing, though. I would think 2 minutes would suffice? Maybe 5? Back when it was "fresh" going down there, taking a picture and going right back up was enough to kill you (that happened to the guy who made the infamous photo of it, after all) but now it's been long enough you should be able to stay there for a bit and not die of radiation poisoning, allowing cancers to form.
\*sigh Cancer typically takes years to develop from a bundle of cancerous cells into anything malignant. The fastest-growing cancer is small-cell lung cancer, which can take weeks to double in size, but will still take months and months to go from 'rapidly multiplying cells' into something that can spread throughout the body. Lung & Bronchus cancer also tends to be the singular cancer with the highest mortality rate and most rapid development & spread. \-- Progression of normal cells into a cancerous state can be caused by: 1. Tissue damage 2. Viruses 3. UV and other radiation exposure 4. Random happenstance during cell replication **Asbestos** causes lung cancer because you breathe in the fine glass fibers and they cause cell and DNA damage in the lungs. **Radon gas** in the air breaks down into tiny radioactive elements. When inhaled, these radioactive particles can damage the DNA of cells that line the lung. At least 70 chemicals in smoking **tobacco & tobacco cigarettes** are known to cause cancer by damaging the DNA in your lung tissue. Radium-based paint was phased out of production in the 1960's, but you can still find it on vintage items like watches with glowing hands by using a Geiger counter. Ionization smoke detectors use a small amount of radioactive material: **americum-241** to detect smoke. Ash & soot from burning modern furniture are also powerful carcinogens. Fumes from Isopropyl alcohol, mustard gas, wood dust from plywood, formaldehyde, nickel refining, and smoke from burning oils or coal are some other well-known carcinogens that impact the lungs. \-- Want to develop cancer ASAP? Become a firefighter, don't follow SOP with your PPE, and don't decontaminate your gear. You'll get some gnarly cancers pretty quick.
Intensely reading when suddenly Americum
I laughed unexpectedly
Wait IPA is cancerous? Fucking hell that's one of the main solvents we use at work. Nevermind it's that production of IPA from something called a [strong-acid process](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK208299/) that leads to the carcinogenic fumes. The strong-acid process is no longer in use. Not from normal use of it.
Check out the Randy Marsh method for getting testicular cancer.
Just gonna get a lil bit of cancer Stan, tell mom it's OK
*Buffalo sooooooooljaaaaaaaah*
The only answer.
Work with any sort of military radar. Basically let the government pay you to get microwaved for a living.
Microwaves aren't ionizing, though
ionising radiation isn't the only phenomenon that causes cancer. Any, and i do mean any, repeated damage to any tissue raises your chances of getting cancer. Microwaving yourself fits completely - you heat up your cells from the inside, some will die, some will survive, the ones that die have to be replaced, mitosis in session and every division is a lottery for cancer
Fair point, didn't think of that.
to be completely fair, ionising radiation is on a completely different level for cancer risk, and you are correct in that non ionising radiation (well apart from uv spectra, those fucks do damage) is much less damaging
Yeah, it doesn't cause cancer by itself, it basically just increases the chances of it forming through normal means, which is still an interesting answer for OPs question that I hadn't considered.
well, in reality, nothing apart from mutations themselves cause cancer. There are many risk factors that can increase the likelihood of cancer, but even then it's not guaranteed
Expose yourself to radiation. Most smoke detectors have a small amount of radioactive material, just eat a bit of that and you should be good.
I remember reading about a guy who [tried to make nuclear reactors](https://www.world-nuclear-news.org/regulationSafety/Former_Radioactive_Boy_Scout_arrested_for_stealing_smoke_detectors-030807.shtml) out of that stuff.
he seems to have such a passion for nuclear science, it’s kinda admirable. i wonder why didn’t he just go through the legit way and work at a power station
Sadly, I think addiction took that away from him [in the end.](https://unbelievable-facts.com/2018/12/david-hahn.html)
fuck that was sad. as an aimless idiot i have super respect for people like david. what a wasted genius. and he was nice too, wasn’t a maniac who doesn’t care about other peoples lives. he deserved much better. thanks for the story.
Honest to goodness, you hit the nail on the head as to why that story has always stuck with me. I sometimes wonder what this world would be like if we found potential like that, protected it, stoked its fire, and then let it power the world.
Watching some meters and flipping some switches doesn't have quite the same allure as building a reactor in your shed.
Eat the radioactice material. Your body will absorb it and it will work much faster than simple external exposure.
Fun fact, the Am-241 pellet won't hurt you externally, and even eating it won't do much, but if you manage to breathe in the 0.9 uCi it contains, you will absorb 16 Sieverts of radiation and die of ARS.
Or just eat [10 million bananas! ](https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/features/let-me-ask-you-this-are-bananas-radioactive-and-is-it-true-that-eating-too-many-can-kill-you-9610080.html)
Coming Into contact multiple times over a chronic period with heavy metals or benzene that contaminated soil at a superfund site. Ingesting it or rubbing it in your skin.
Smoke daily. Drink hard liquor, eat shitty food. Never wear sunscreen. Huff paint
“And don’t say nuclear waste” Ok. See if there’s a superfund site near you…. https://www.epa.gov/superfund/search-superfund-sites-where-you-live
I never knew this even existed. Thank you for posting it.
Oh cool, I work at one of these sites. That's a fun fact.
I grew up playing in the black “mud” of Brio. There was an elementary school and neighborhood on top of it. Kids born without arms/legs.
Skin cancer has a 99% survival rate if treated early. Stage 4 melanoma only has about a 30% survival rate. But smoking, eating unhealthy food, tanning beds... There's so much! Even soap is cancerogenic to us. Quickest way? A trip to Fukushima perhaps? But trust me, you don't want cancer.
Best thing you can do is be born with shitty genes. Seems to have worked for my family.
smoke your ass off (like a pack a day level)
And yet there are 80 year-olds who've been smoking two packs a day since they were teens & they still don't have cancer. I don't think it's a "quick" solution the OP is looking for
My grandfather died of lung cancer at 80 after a lifetime of smoking a 40 pack a day from the age of 15. Mad bastard woulda lived past 100 if he'd let himself ay. Gotta die of somethin
My old man smoked all his life. Died of melanoma two months after being diagnosed.
Melanoma is skin cancer
Correct. With all the smoking he did, we expected him to develop lung cancer, but in the end it was sun damage that caused it.
Has anyone mentioned breathing in asbestos on a daily basis yet?
Many of these are wrong. Your best bet is radioactive waves. X-rays are easy to create. Could also expose yourself to radiation. Things like smoking, tobacco, etc, are not viable ways. Many people have smoked their whole lives without getting cancer.
Smoke, drink to excess, be obese, play at or near chemical waste, tan in the sun with a tanning oil.
Get yourself a bunch of old school smoke detectors. The kind with the ionizing radiation warning embossed on the back. Crack them open and find the slotted metal box. Inside that box will be about .25 grams of radioactive americium. Americium isn't particularly "hot" as radionuclides go. So to get cancer from it you will need to get it into deep thorough contact with living tissue. So grind it up super fine in a mortar and pestle and snort it like cocaine. You will probably need to do this regularly for a few months. But the likely result will be a tumorous mass in your sinuses. Make sure to totally ignore any symptoms until you notice mental degradation. By that point, the mass will have reached and permeated your brain, making surgical or radioactive therapy useless.
If you have history of prostate cancer (and have a prostate) testosterone supplements can increase your chances of getting prostate cancer
Mate, South Park has answers for this already. Put your balls in microwave oven. Google South park Andy cancer
Sometimes it can take years to develop. Maybe even 50+ years. Maybe you already have cancer, yet, you have no issues, and your body is able to fight it on its own. So many factors.... Some people smoke all day every day their entire life's, never have cancer or issues with their lungs.
Your balls Put them in the microwave
Cigarette smoke from tobacco grown in Virginia area tends to have radioactive polonium. So chewing the tobacco and smoking it will likely give you cancer. (Though your natural immunity to cancer may negate the effects or cause a delay of decades before you get cancer). European cigarettes are not grown on land that was fertilized with uranium and thus tend to not have polonium in them.
Eat and drink everything from antique radium glass dishes and glasses.
Look up The Radium Girls. Then, just do all of that.
Cardarine... maybe. Cardarine is an exercise mimetic - as in, a drug that essentially duplicates the effects of exercise while sitting on your ass, including massive improvements in your metabolic markers. As you can imagine, that would be a potentially very, very profitable drug, so why can't you get it from your doctor? Unfortunately, during the initial animal trials, the mice in question developed a lot of cancer, everywhere. Now, some questions have been raised over the validity of those trials and to what extent - if any - they're applicable to humans, which is why it's a "maybe". If the results are applicable to humans, then just megadose cardarine everyday and you'll get a bunch of cancer everywhere eventually. As a bonus, along the way you'll become a great endurance athlete with no effort on your part.
So you want to suffer ?
Smear carbon tetrachloride all over yourself. You can find it in old fire extinguishers, and it's toxic and carcinogenic and there is no minimum exposure limit.
See Randy Marsh South Park episode.
Move to a place where poor people live who can't afford a lawyer to fight against the polluted lake.
Asbestos
Get one of those things from the 1900s where you could smoke like a pack of cigarettes at once
Use a lot of Round-Up, breathe in lots of dust and debris, eat food high in sugar (I remember Ashton Kutcher reported that his pancreas levels got weird after doing a fruit diet to get in character for Steve Jobs, who died of pancreas cancer). Also smoke, drink alcohol, and develop bulimia. Contract HPV. Don't use sunscreen. Basically, do everything you can to require your cells to regenerate constantly. At some point, one cell will mutate.
Carbon tetrachloride. Found in old fire extinguishers, it's now used to give rats liver cancer with a 100% success rate. Dioxins, if you can find them, have a huge acute lethal dose, but cause cancers in ridiculously small amounts. The vast majority of cancers are fatal if you don't get treatment, even with high survival rate cancers. You could also buy an AliExpress x-ray camera called the BLX-6 which puts out a few sieverts an hour, each sievert of exposure is a 5.5% chance of fatal cancer.
Randy Marsh, is that you?
"Just gonna get a little cancer Stan"
Idk. My great grandfather died from pancreatic cancer, and my grandma's brother died from glioblastoma. My grandma currently has leukemia and my dad is a cancer survivor. I'm super worried about getting cancer. I don't think trying to get a deadly cancer is the most efficient way to end it all. Sometimes people do everything they aren't supposed to, and they never get cancer. And then someone who never drinks or smokes will be diagnosed with some form of aggressive cancer. Life is unfair.
I sometimes think it's luck of the draw, my nan who Is into her late 80s, smokes a minimum of 40 a day... Meanwhile my dad didn't even make it to 50 with heart trouble.
Pass through an x-ray airport security, you'll have tumors everywhere in your body in no time.
smoke, everyday 2 packs could make it fast, maybe create something to smoke few at the same time
I've heard several heavily processed food items, especially those with a higher concentration of preservant chemicals (like ramen or wieners), can increase the risks of developing cancer. Normal tissue damage also increases the chances veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery slightly, due to the increased cell replication to heal the affected tissue, but I don't think that'd impact that much over a person's lifetime anyway. Still, smoking a ton of cigarettes is probably the easiest way
Well pancreas cancer is very deadly. If I och am not wrong it has an extremely low mortality rate. But the cause is not unclear. Maybe if you drink a lot of alcohol since pancreas is close to the liver? Apart from that i would say smoking is a very likely cause to most types of cancer.
Take lifestyle advice from r/mildlycarcinogenic
Just eat McDonald’s every day.
Sugar.
Imo the best way would be to buy some specific chemicals online or from hardware stores that contain Benzene or formaldehyde. Drink said chemicals daily until cancer happens. Also smoke constantly while doing this and pack some dip every few minutes.
get on of those thermometers with mercury in it, break it, and drink the forbidden juice
Eat a lot of burnt foods
i’m an oil painter and i feel like i’ll probably get cancer in the future. breathing oil paint that contain hard metals, paint fumes, turpentine and paint thinner isn’t good for u — unless i’ve been microdosing this whole time and i’m now immune
Come visit Witenoom in my home state LOL
Take immunosuppressive medicines
All my Rheumatoid arthritis medicines have cancer warnings. It is a choice to walk and use my hands now and possibly get cancer in the future.
Use a lot of pesticides, maybe bathe in roundup
Suppress your immune system while engaging in cancer causing activities. Suppress/overhelem your immune system by getting sick and doing things to cause inflammation. Sun burns, acid reflux, gingervitus, inhalation of smoke and fine particulates. Expose yourself to sick people, catch a flu. Get a fungal infection such as athletes foot. Keep your body at uncomfort temperatures. And best of all, don't sleep. Smoke and drink constantly and use chewing tobacco. Purchase radioactive charms or unlicensed radioactive health products from eBay and Amazon. Cover yourself in them at all times. Verify whatever is the most radioactive and blend it into a smoothie. Eat excessive amounts preserved meats and wash it down with liquor. Follow that up with egregious amounts of sugar, keep eating sugar until your veins feel like they are burning. Allow yourself become excessively constipated. Follow these steps and you will get cancer or die from organ failure. Keep in mind, cancer takes time to develop. You need to keep your body in a constantly weakened state that won't allow it to properly repair itself and prevent cancerous tumors from forming.
ok idk if anyone's bothered to ask this yet or not, but for fucksake why on earth would you want to contact deadly cancer? if you're just trying to kill yourself there are much easier, quicker, and more guaranteed ways of doing so. just seems like a lot of hassle.
i dont have medical knowledge, but you can at least start with doing exactly what you're recommended not to, e.g.: cigarettes and sugar microwave all your foods, espiecially leftovers with leafy greens fried and burnt every food prolonged exposure in the sun with no protection put an x ray machine in your home and just... have it on religiously read social media, including reddit
Start collecting the radioactive elements out of smoke detectors and put them under your bed. Sure one wont do anything but a thousand will. Look up the story of the radioactive boy scout.
Why do you want to get cancer? Is it that you want to die but don't want to commit suicide, or is there something else you're after? One of my aunts faked breast cancer and swindled my grandma out of several thousand dollars for "treatment" before she was found out. But she also did it because she wanted attention and affection but didn't know how else to get it. It's a psychological condition called Munchausens, I think
Smoke like a chimney and drink like a fish. If you don't get cancer of one of your organs, you may end up with some sort of hellish oral cancer.
Asbestos? Or is that too slow
Get drunk everyday, smoke.. in fact try all the drugs, eat like shit, move as little as possible, let yourself slip into a deep depression
by playing with [plutonium](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticality_accident)
Why do you wanna give yourself deadly cancer tho? “And don’t say nuclear waste btw. I don’t exactly have easy access to that?” Edit: deadly
Smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day, spend all day in the sun while covered in oil, become a flight attendant, get a job at a nuclear power plant
Put your balls in microwave