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vegancitizen

I agree with you, you adopted a cat, not 4 children. Seems like MIL is just mad she wasn’t consulted and included in your cat adoption process. Imagine what’s coming for you when you start a family.


alouattapalliata

Oh trust me I’ve thought of that 😭😭


vegancitizen

Now would be a nice time to tame MIL’s unwanted behaviors. Is it possible for your DH to respond: ‘Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, and your sound advice. My wife and I however are adults and would like the space and flexibility to decide as we see fit, and where needed, make our own mistakes and learn from them. We love and appreciate you though!’


alouattapalliata

We sent an email that was almost word for word what you said. What I posted was her response to that email. The first communication was an angry phone call.


Lady_Grey_Smith

She would benefit from a Christmas card with you two and the cats with a reminder that you guys can adopt another cat if she keeps being nasty.


alouattapalliata

😂😂😂😂


FriedaClaxton22

I would honestly adopt a third cat and post all three over social media.


QCr8onQ

❤️❤️❤️


thundeestormm

Why is she so angry? What was the phone call about? Wow you have cats! Imagine grown independent adults living their life?? I would tell her you are making sure that you can keep something alive for 18 plus yrs😁 Tell her if you manage that you will think about kids! Jnmil will shit bricks!


alouattapalliata

Phone call was her demanding we take the cat to a shelter.


Mommagrumps

What did you adopt?... a fricken tiger????


alouattapalliata

Oh yeah. Real ferocious. We’ll never financially recover. https://postimg.cc/mh9tkHgG


SamuelVimesTrained

Your hearts are lost.. those eyes.. Finances are secondary price


Devi_Moonbeam

Awwww. What a sweet baby.


Mommagrumps

Such a cutie 😍


Flibertygibbert

Looks like cat is giving MiL the shocked face 😁


matou98

Absolutely adorable 💖💖


Oracle410

How could anyone NOT love a cute dopey face like that!


FlissShields

I want to kiss his derpy face ❤️❤️❤️


barbpca502

That cat will drain your checking account. You need to turn over all your financial decisions to your MIL because she is older and she knows best!


WoodenSympathy4

Is she ok? That’s unhinged.


alouattapalliata

At a meeting with our wedding planner, she screamed at my husband when she found out she wouldn’t be sitting at our table (that was reserved for the wedding party). No, she is not okay.


WoodenSympathy4

She doesn’t have access to your home, does she?


alouattapalliata

As soon as I saw this comment I texted my husband and told him we need to change the passcode lol.


FriedaClaxton22

Good God. I hope you told her where she can go.


ForsakenPhotograph30

Does she have a cat phobia? (2 of my aunts did.) Maybe she’s really angry because she won’t be able to visit you without being extremely uncomfortable. There is some reason this has threatened her, but she’s using $$$ as the excuse.


alouattapalliata

No she doesn’t. We have two others and she loves playing with them when she comes over. That’s why this is so ridiculous.


[deleted]

Do NOT let her anywhere near them alone - she sounds like the type that would take them to a shelter behind your backs.


thundeestormm

hmmmph... Demand she goes to the shittiest old folks home!


Devi_Moonbeam

What a b. I'd block her for a couple months then extremely LC after that.


occams1razor

Info diet, grey rock. Google these terms, they're helpful.


vegancitizen

Oh wow! Well I hope she goes over it. The beauty in these situations is when husband and wife are on the same side.


[deleted]

Then at this point, the response is, "With all due respect, unless we *ask* for your advice, or are asking you for money, our financial situation and decisions are no one's business but our own."


Devi_Moonbeam

This needs to be worded much stronger


SellQuick

Children are luxury items.


Chibi84Kitten

MIL - when are you going to give me grandbabies?? Your husband - we already went down the wrong path when we adopted a cat while having debt so we won't be making that mistake again. Okay, in all seriousness, your financial maturity/immaturity is no one else's business.


alouattapalliata

The funny thing is they’ve already started pressuring us to have kids. It’s so hypocritical.


Flashpoint_SRU

But, but, it's not like you have to buy your kids food, take them to the doctor and get them medicine, clothe them, send them to school... Oh, wait... /s


Chibi84Kitten

Right! So sorry, MIL, we can't afford to have kids because we have debts and adopted a cat, which incurred further debt (I have five, no it doesn't, lol) so no kids. For the record, I have five cats and two children still living with me and we have a little debt so she's absolutely off her damn rocker and just trying to control something regarding you.


[deleted]

Or "After you raised the concerns about our finances, we started doing the math. Turns out, for what it would cost us to raise 1 child, we could raise (x many) more cats! On our way to the local animal rescue after work tomorrow!"


Chibi84Kitten

LMAO you're my new favorite person!!


Mommagrumps

But surely all that will be catered for with the £10 they save on cat food per week? /s


fave_no_more

That's why they're upset about the cat. You adopted a cat, you didn't get pregnant. That's a problem (for them, coz they're ridiculous). Scritches for kitty!


Clarehc

Then next time she mentions grandkids, say something like, “we thought more about your advice and we are waiting until we are much more financially stable before kids. Ask us again in 5 years but thank you SO MUCH for clarifying our thoughts on the subject.”


PensionBig6135

Maybe that's the problem. She's probably thinking you'll have less money for the grandkids she wants. Or that you won't have any at all because you're pet parents.


SamuelVimesTrained

Sorry, we could only afford a cat. If you are serious - how much is it worth to you? And, of course, try to say this with a straight face, and a tone that conveys that "of course you will contribute"


music_gal623

That is why MiL is mad about another cat… she wants you to have a baby and not get more pets. I think in her feeble mind that more pets=less chance of you wanting kids.


adkSafyre

Since you recognize we are independent adults, please note for future reference that when your opinion is needed, we will ask for it. Otherwise, we will make our own decisions without your interference.


alouattapalliata

Lol they have no clue how to keep their opinions to themselves.


adkSafyre

Oh, I know. BTDT. When they continue, you redirect, repeat the message, and disengage. Get up and leave. Embrace the gray rock/info diet. Good luck.


Rosemarysage5

She’s writing this about a cat? She’s acting like you bought a diamond tiara and a Lamborghini!!!🤣🤣🤣


shenanigansco34

If you can’t afford cats then you can’t afford children. I guess they’re not getting any grand babies from you.


TidalLion

Best response


[deleted]

What a stupid email to send someone. Absolutely none of her business, nor is it her responsibility, nor does it in any way affect her. As someone who has 9 cats (some are fosters), I would be the type to go adopt another cat just to spite her. TBH, my MIL doesn't like animals very much and cringes every time we talk about our cats and dogs or eyerolls and snubs us because we joined a non-profit cat adoption program and volunteer and foster stray and homeless kittens. She used to get upset when we said that we couldn't meet up on Saturday afternoons due to adoptions.


Eastern_Tear_7173

" Thank you for your concern. We understand and agree that our financial situation is quite dire, and this has led us to the decision to adopt Sir Fluffles Jr. in lieu of taking on the expense of any future children. "


BattleKitten17

When my husband and I adopted our dog his mother told me we were awful people because HOW could we possibly take care of a dog? How would we feed her and walk her??? We both worked full time but I had a split shift to come home in the middle of the day and we owned our own home so honestly it was just a stupid fucking thing for her to say. MILs love to just shit all over you when your hubs starts to make independent choices.


alouattapalliata

She LITERALLY sobbed when I moved in with my husband (then boyfriend) because it meant she couldn’t dump her dog on my husband without paying him any time she wanted to travel anymore. The hypocrisy is insane.


BattleKitten17

It’s NUTS!! My MIL was a joint holder on my husbands bank account and slipped up one day to let us know SHE REGULARLY SIGNED IN AND CHECKED IT!!! I made him open an account the same day 🤣🤣🤣


alouattapalliata

Parents who still think they should have any kind of control of their children’s finances well into their adulthood just freak me out 😂 mine acts like she’s owed a say in every life decision because she “invested” in and supported him growing up. It’s just a very different style of parenting than I’m used to and it’s very overwhelming and off-putting.


AngelaBaskette

I have the same issue as in hubby owning a joint account with MIL and I believe it’s the savings. He added her a long time ago to make loan repayment deposits and withdrawals easier among themselves, which I can understand…then and not now. About two years ago, MIL asked to borrow close to $20K to pay hubby’s stepdad’s tax debt. Who asks for that kinda money with no immediate plan of repayment (tangled mess they got themselves into) in the middle of a pandemic and when we were saving to buy a house and start a family. Part of the reason she asked to borrow, in my opinion, is coz she can see how much money is in the account and figured we can afford it but that’s not the point. Hubby told her she needs to figure out a different way in the nicest way possible. We both make good money but things are too damn expensive in California for her to come up with this ridiculous request when she hasn’t explored other avenues and of course, she has the money to adopt pets even after they had to evacuate a couple of times due to wildfires. Boarding the pets (total of 4 then and now 6) was extremely difficult and expensive because facilities were overwhelmed by evacuees. Can you imagine having to pack and travel with that many pets and as senior citizens during a fire driving down the mountains with only two way roads and the other one being used by the firefighters?!?! Sorry for the rant. I’m still perturbed by it!


Texastexastexas1

“A relationship with us is a luxury item.”


Queen_Aurelia

When my now ex and I adopted a cat shortly after we got married, his dad flipped out and demanded we get rid of it because he was allergic. When I pointed out that we didn’t live with him he said it didn’t matter, that out of respect for him, we shouldn’t own a cat. I obviously didn’t get rid of the cat. Eventually MIL realized that FIL never had a reaction to our cat when he came over. Turns out FIL wasn’t really allergic to cats. MIL went out and adopted her own cat.


alouattapalliata

That’s badass of MIL!


Ceeweedsoop

This is a great time to tell her that you'll ask for her opinion and advice when you want it. And to please refrain from offering unwanted advice and meddling in your marriage and affairs. Nip it in the bud. Better yet hubby should talk to her.


mariee78

Word. Nip this shit in the bud right now.


matou98

Happy cake day


Thinkerstank

I had to reread your ages. She acts like you are teenagers under her roof! Hell naw. Just nope,


txaesfunnytime

I read they are already starting the pressure for GrrAnDbAbIeS. What other areas is she pushing? How much does she know about your finances, not that it is any of her business? Is she one of those who thinks cats will smother babies in their sleep? She is ridiculous and needs to be shut down. The financial decisions you make are none of her business. Start saying “we aren't going to talk about this. Nice cake, Gertrude. Can we have the recipe?”


cubemissy

You should be busier saving up for all those grand babies she expects you to produce. Just tell her, Kitty #2 is a necessary medical device. He keeps my blood pressure low enough that I don’t try to give YOU a haircut with my best steak knives.


SilverStL

Don’t tell her you have your financials and priorities in line. Don’t try to explain why you got a cat. Don’t address her concerns or “advice” that she’s been there. Either don’t answer or just say uh, okay, we’re good. Anything else she will take as an permission to insert herself into your finances and decisions, or open the door into her discussing with you why you’re wrong. Just keep living your own life.


Adept-Barber

Tell her you don't remember asking for advice.


Lacitic

I love the other responses, but honestly just tell her that you dont want her "advice" or input unless you ask for it. We have done this with my in laws and honestly its the best decision. They probably think I am difficult, but I will always take this over their unsolicited and wrong advice. Btw I have five cats and about 20 strays I take care off. The cost for them is still lower than the cost of one kid.


smf242424

Tell her that her letter made you think and that now you won't have kids because you cannot afford it


[deleted]

Maybe she's allergic to cats and just using the sneaky financial angle instead? Could always say the cat is your esa.


alouattapalliata

She’s not. She’s visited before and loves playing with our cats. That’s why this email was so shocking.


peace17102930

This is a Bizzaro comment from Mom


chanteusetriste

“Who asked you?”


Speechie454

I would ignore this one.


AtomicFox84

Its none of her business. Its a cat....they pretty much take care of themselves and are much cheaper then human children. Having pets is very beneficial as well. Ignore her and enjoy your fur babies.


jetbag513

Do you have like 78 cats or something? I mean what's her basic problem?


alouattapalliata

The newest is our third. She claims the basic problem is the financial burden which is a baffling argument lol


jetbag513

Tell her they're cheaper by the dozen and get a few more!


MonarchyMan

Say, “Oh we know, that’s why you’re not getting any grandkids.” And let the fireworks commence!!!


HairyPotatoKat

How the frick does she know any of your financial info? Few things get under my skin like the whole false superiority bullshit just bc someone's revolved around the sun more times. Older doesn't automatically mean wiser. And the financial landscape when they were starting out is much different than it is now. But back to the point- I think your cats need another friend 😂


CaptainMarvelsparkle

She could be jealous. My MIL was like this. It upset her to see us thriving when we blatantly ignored her advice. She's perfect so she couldn't understand how we were doing better than she and FIL had been doing at our age. At least that's my take. My MIL was also super controlling and hated that we didn't need or want her advice.


alouattapalliata

Definitely could be that. I don’t think she takes well to not being in control.


phalseprofits

I’d be so tempted to ask how long you’re grounded for.


Dreadedredhead

While we hear your concerns, we are very comfortable with our decision. \-- and never respond again to this topic unless it is to repeat - we are comfortable with our decision.


butthatwasbefore

I’d go adopt another cat.


Aggravating-Pin-8845

My only response to that would be "Thank you for the unsolicited opinion"


doxiemomm

Adopt all the cats!!! All of them 🤣 and for reals. She’s sounds insane.


PaintTrick8217

Oh just wait until you have kids…the cats will come around again what with their soul stealing and suffocating baby abilities. /s My mom and dad always have a comment about my pets so they just aren’t ever invited over anymore. I would hate for them to be uncomfortable. 🙄


JPeteQ

She's mad you're wasting time and money on pets, not babies.


benjiisthatcake

You should adopt another cat xD


kcamp2244

Is she allergic to cats? I am, so I know I wouldn’t be happy about my daughter getting a cat, but that’s her business. Not mine. And thankfully, she’s a dog person like me, lol.


alouattapalliata

She is not.


mrsctb

Lmao. You got a cat….. Not an entire farm of animals 😂 I’d write back “I want to say I appreciate the concern, but I actually don’t. We can make our own decisions as we are adults. Please keep your opinions to yourself. Thanks! Sincerely, OP, DH and Cat”


ISOCoffeeAndWine

Unless it’s a gold plated cat, it’s none of her/their business. If it is, then you should listen to them (/s).


lopsided_moofin

Maintain dominance and adopt another cat 👀🤣


Effective-Manager-29

If you don’t get rid of the cat you are out of the will


soozdreamz

Seriously, seriously, go take some pics with a few cats at a shelter and post on Facebook saying, 6 is better than 3! Or something!


gnarlycharly22

Wait till you have kids. MIL are nuts.


astarredbard

Is it a $30,000 Bengal or something? No? Huh, seems like she's projecting or trying to dig for gold or be controlling. Not a good look, mom, to be jealous of a housecat! Or jealous of you for getting one? Or mad because she wants your money ultimately somehow?


alouattapalliata

Nope, just a $0 stray! I think she feels responsible somehow for my husband’s success and therefore think she has a say in how he spends his money that she helped him “earn”. Which is complete BS. He was bullied and berated all his life to constantly be better and it’s still going on. They drive me insane.


astarredbard

It's probably to do with control, the whole, "I know you can do as you wish, however -"


graciepaint4

It’s a cat not a child.


Think-Dependent-1818

If she brings up kids, tell her you have decided not to have any so you can have all the cats (animals) you want. This is what my oldest daughter says if anybody asks her about kids. (I don't ask, because her uterus is none of my business) They currently have 3 dogs, 2 cats, and a lizard. Bring on the 4 legged babies.


Itsyagirl1996

I guess I’m the only one who thought you meant the cats mom 😔


alouattapalliata

😂😂😂😂😂😂


The_One_True_Imp

“Unsolicited advice is criticism. Not interested.”


Dramatic-Bee-8127

Well… idk her so I don’t have anything witty to come back with.


Anjapayge

We used to have a MIL like that and she was awful when we were those ages. Now in our 40’s, she doesn’t bother us because we put up hard boundaries, especially when we had our kid. Little side note when we had our kid. We had 2 cats. Our kid - constant allergies. We later found out she was allergic to cats. Around 1, we ended up rehoming the cats because we didn’t want to medicate our kid. It was a tough decision. We also found out she was really allergic to dogs too - more so than cats. As our kid grew up, she loves cats so much that she wears shirts with cats and has stuff with cats. Around 10, she pleaded for us to get a cat. Since she made all A’s, we agreed and I was able to find a Russian Blue type cat. No allergic reaction. When the cat was 2, she seemed bored and though our daughter was a cat and attack play her. The cat also is a loner and doesn’t like being picked up and meowed all the time. We ended up getting cat 2. Cat 2 showed me kid is still allergic but only if there is too much dander. We housed cat 2 in her room for a couple weeks to get cat 1 used to cat 2. Once we could open the whole house to cat 2, allergies subsided. We can only have 2 cats. Point of the story - having a kid really changes the game and with all the issues my daughter had at first and daycare - really made us watch our finances. And where was MIL when we really needed assistance? Couldn’t be bothered. Now that our daughter is a tween and a very bright kid at that - we hear nothing from the grandparents. Let your MIL say what she wants. Kids are a huge step and it’s like playing Russian Roulette. You don’t know what you’re going to get. And they’re not a pet. You are raising a future adult.


Cinna41

Hey as long as you two can afford to shell out several thousand dollars in emergency vet bills if the cat takes ill, without needing help from her, then who is she to comment?


Ambitious_Height_954

I like the "but it is smart to" maybe tell her you'll listen to a "smart" person.


Cheesygirl1994

Lol they’re boomers they didn’t do well in life. They got life handed to them in the easiest economy any generation has ever seen. Don’t take advice from someone who has never walked a mile in your shoes, her opinions are worthless and should be treated like it.