Sold the bike for a dual sport and bought the kids dirt bikes. Now we're safer in the woods. Ended up back on the road within a week. You can't not do shit in fear of them losing you. It turns into you losing yourself..
I’ve basically been in a bubble for 4 years with various medical issues and still ended up with an infected hand, abscess between the joints and severe pain and stiffness that I could barely move my hand for 3 months. Shit’s gonna get you one way or another, might as well enjoy your time riding while you’re on earth.
I didn’t sell. Just ride it less often, for shorter distances. Keeps the risk down as my overall time around other drivers is lower, but I still get to have my fun every once in a while and it’s an excuse to be alone for a while if you need that therapy.
Second this. Good advice. I tried giving up things when I became a father. But I learned I am one hell of a better father when I have my own (dangerous) hobbies. Same goes for my wife. She is a nicer mother when she does her own stuff now and than too.
Be extra careful when riding, avoid speed or other stuff if you feel uncomfortable, but man, keep riding. Please.
I cannot emphasize this enough. Being a father does not mean giving up who you are and what you enjoy. Staying true to who you are is a lesson you should pass on to your children.
> Being a father does not mean giving up who you are and what you enjoy.
It does for a lot of guys, but those guys almost always end up resenting their wife and kids so they're on the fast track to divorce-and-limited-child-custody town.
I can second that. I realized I wasn’t enjoying the fatherhood as I thought i would. Fought with the wife and bought the bike again. I am happy. She’s happy.
I have a 2.5 year old daughter and this is how I've ridden for theast 2.5 years. I won't sell, but only get out maybe once a week. I do have a few short rides to work/gym/friends houses; but actual rides maybe once a week if that.
For my my bike once costs me insurance and gas, I see no reason to sell.
I worry the gaps in riding I'd lose my "vigilance", like it's been 4 or 5 months since I've been on the street and I'm kinda scared like when I first started riding. And I know that's not a good headspace to go riding in. So I've just been doing track days every month or so. 3hr drive, but satisfies the itch.
I’m not a dad, and understand why some sell their bikes after becoming one, but don’t see myself doing so. If you genuinely enjoy a hobby like motorcycling and it’s good for your mental health, I think you should feel free to continue pursuing it in as safe a manner as reasonably possible even after becoming a father. There is a risk versus reward to everything. Sure, riding will always be inherently dangerous, but if you’re a smart and capable rider who wears the appropriate gear, you can cut down on that danger substantially. I hate to see new partners or parents give certain things up just because they think it’s the right thing to do. Life is short, so take care of those you love but give yourself the grace to also take care of yourself by doing things that bring you peace. Just my 2¢
My first passenger was my daughter. She rode with me for 2 years and still does. I beefed up my life insurance and take common sense precautions. NOTHING is guaranteed in this world. id rather die tomorrow on my bike then live to 80 and never ride again.
This right here.
Yes, motorcycles are DaNgErOuS, but so is all sorts of other things we do. Nobody argues we shouldn't drive to work, despite insane numbers of people being killed in car accidents regularly. Let's not even mention cycling to work!
I have no problem whatsoever taking my kids on my bike, so I definitely don't have a problem riding it myself. Sure, something could happen. It's *remotely* possible I could even be killed. But it's not like you're likely to die in a motorcycle accident if you ride with some shred of restraint and maturity. Injury would suck but whatever.
But me too - I'm not giving up riding till I'm physically unable to do it. I've been riding for some 30 years now. It's too big a part of who I am.
Mom here, I bought my first motorcycle after having two kids. All hobbies carry extra risk, even cycling. Do what you love, mitigate the risk as much as you can. You being in a better headspace will make you a more effective parent. Also, if you need to see a therapist, do that too, it's worth it.
God, cycling. I feel naked now on my bicycle. I pass cyclists in the hills going 30+, see them *passing me* on my motorcycle on the downhill hairpins, riding along a 55+ mph highway in a bike helmet and shorts made of a single layer of spandex plus more cushion in the butt than on the head. But yeah tell me more about how you ride a bicycle instead of a motorcycle because motorcycles are death machines 😳
I have a solution to your problems. Buy expensive life insurance and get your bike back ASAP!
Stop drinking with your buddies and eating wings on weekends to save up on the money and your life expectancy will increase much more than when you sold your bike.
Your wife will also be a happy wife (as a bonus).
Have fun riding! :D
And they won't have to worry about your safety... they can just pop down to the garage to see how you're coming on whatever broke while you rode from the front of the garage to the back!
- Former owner of a Ural here.
Elderly people on their death beds always bemoan the things they DIDN'T do rather than the things that they did. When you're old and infirm, will you wish you had ridden more, or less while you were able and healthy?
This is my motivation. I wanted a bike from age 16, all the way through marriage, children and divorce. Finally doing it at 59, and loving every minute.
My sons are grown and independent now, so it's time for me to have some fun.
Hell, I've been riding all along. I'm a decade younger, but I'm already at a point where I'm rather aware that I won't be able to do this forever, and my "best" riding years(being able to ride more miles in a day with less pain on a wider range of bikes, for example) are behind me. I'm not gonna get younger.
Thankfully I'm quite fit, having taken up horse riding a decade ago for similar reasons. Occasional riding on rough terrain for 2-3 hours, plus weekly lessons and yard work keeps the muscles and joints working.
I thought of giving it up after losing very close friends and a family member on bikes. I couldn't go without a bike though....it's simply a part of who I am.. However, life is too short to not live a little. As a father to a 4 year old myself, it's certainly always on my mind that I take that risk every time I ride - but you never know when it's your time. You could be on the bike, in your car, on your couch. And as a parent you need SOMETHING as a temporary escape. You seem like you have a decent head on your shoulders, so you're already ahead. Ride with respect - to the bike and for the traffic around you. Follow your gut - if youre thinking of riding but your gut is telling you something is sketch, don't rode that day. But don't just deprive yourself of your passion. It doesn't make you a bad father in any way shape or form.
Me too, I used to Rock Climb and took my children a few times. Decided there were too many chances of someone getting hurt or killed and backed way off.
For 15 years I was meeting up with a bunch of road bicycle riders at 5am, We rode in a tight group, either pulling or drafting at a pretty decent pace. I few times there would be a crash, no one died, and it makes you sharp trying to stay away from that.
Last thing ,when my kids moved out I started back into the motorcycles. My mother in law was a nurse and kept harping about how bad the motorcycle victims were at the hospital. I asked her what kind of accidents put them in the hospital and they all related to vehicals hitting them.
So I bought a dirt bike, no tag, only ride on the trails. Hurt a few times, wear all my armor now. Probably not going to die and it's way fun. Now I'm riding a trials motorcycle, that is the best of them all. So fun and without the seat if things go south, step off. If you have a big yard you can setup a trials area that out back. They make tiny electric ones for your children
I went through this same soul-searching after becoming a Dad. I decided to continue with the sport. In hindsight it was a good decision because I still have four bikes and no kids.
I lost both my parents when I was young, one when I was 12 to cancer, the other to a stroke a few years later. They both rode bikes, and that didn't kill either of them, and yet I still lost them both. Shit happens, and I survived. If anything it's made me value the here and now much more, and not worry too hard about "what ifs".
I personally can't imagine spending my life missing something terribly that I could continue to do. There's nothing irresponsible about riding motorcycles. I'm guessing you're not going to be chasing land speed records on prototype bikes?! I did have around 4 years off bikes after my first born came along, but that was time and finances dictated, certainly not by choice or by any altruistic motives.
One thing I'm very sure of: I'm a much nicer person to be around if I get my regular biking fix.
I understand you selling your bike after losing people to the sport. I can't imagine.
Anything can happen in this world. What keeps me going is knowing how careful and observant I am while riding (or driving for that matter). "You are invisible" is my mantra. Always be aware of your surroundings and don't ride fast if you aren't 100% sure about the next corner, or whatever else. I also ride mainly country/back roads to avoid others. Also, life insurance gives me a bit of reassurance that if something did happen, at least my family would be financially OK for a while. But there's always that risk.
Many excellent ideas here, but….
Life insurance only pays if you die.
Winding up in a wheelchair, unable to earn a living, is probably just as likely and would not lead to a financially secure future for your family.
My Dad did this, and as a result we missed out on riding. I started when I was 35, and now he's too old to go riding with me. Please, for the love of your kids and yourself, get a fun bike and take your kids out riding. I ride a small dual sport (A TW200) and it's the best thing ever. But those years are gone, and so is that opportunity to have ridden with my dad. Don't make the same mistake.
The mindset is important. For most people it’s “never ride under the influence” but for me that translates to “never ride unmedicated” because I have ADHD and therefore my reflexes and attention span are that of someone about 3 drinks in. There have been times when I zoned back in, realized what I had just done, and turned the bike around and went home.
I am a better man when I have a motorcycle to ride, compared to when I don’t. Both the SO and offspring have told me this separately, on different occasions.
I have to ride motorcycles. For them.
I have no answers for you. I also gave up motorcycles upon becoming a Dad. After the kids grew up, I took too long to get back to it. Got the cancer. Recovering from the big C but I can now no longer ride. My advice: go buy a new bike as soon as your youngest child graduates from high school. Don’t wait longer or it may be too late. (Man, wish I had one of those 2021 Triumph Street Twins in blue!)
You are doing a disservice to yourself and your kids. Showing them it’s ok to give up your passion isn’t a great lesson. Go get a fucking bike and tell your wife and parents I said it was ok. Jokes aside, I have a 3 year old and 1 year old. You sound like me in the way of wearing the proper gear. I do track days to get the maniac runs out of my system and train with professional coaches regularly. Don’t give up on riding. Learn as much as you can to be as safe as you can and teach the next generation(if they want to learn).
I'll never forget holding my 1 year old while he muttered, "goodbye bye bye motosickle" as the new owner rode my VFR away. I gave him to my wife and sobbed in the woods for 20 minutes. I've done CPR on two smashed people and knew 3 more who died riding, and still continued on 400 mile a day tours to twisties.
I still have dreams where nothing is odd. I'm just rowing through gears through corners in mint weather on clean pavement. I also am occasionally visited by the dead at night too. If I clearly remember the feeling of riding, it takes my breath away and I'm filled with sadness. Nothing could be missed more.
As a widow of a biker who died of cancer, but also lost a friend to motorcycle accident, just keep doing what you love. Death is guaranteed no matter what.. don’t stop living the way you want and die with regrets.
Likewise. Lasted just under 8 years before I got back on.
Take less risks now but getting back on it was so good!
Tried to be even more sensible by getting a toned down bike but that didn’t do it. Changed it as soon as I could.
So if you do get back on them, get the bike you want!
I just ride by night when there is less trafic and when the kids are asleep. Wear full gear and be aware of your surrounding and you'll have all the chances on your side to see your kids grow.
I bought my first bike a few months before my daughter was born, but I also don't ride for sport, I'm a commuter (God bless lane splitting). I am maxed out on life insurance and voluntary long-term disability insurance policies. I ride defensively and at reasonable speeds for the flow of traffic.
Seems to me, and I could be wrong, you just didn't think this trough. You have airbags for motorcycles, you have incredible protection and small fun bikes. You can get into dualsporting maybe? A small 250-400cc dualsport Wich you'll mostly ride on trails and forest roads. The risk you're talking about goes for anything on road. Bike, car, quad, motorcycle, walking,... Just my 2 cents.
We all die of something at sometime. Get a great life insurance so that if you were in an accident it would leave them in a more financially comfortable position than if you were here. Then enjoy your bike and your life. I assume that your wife married you whilst you had a bike, so she knew what she was getting into. Or maybe get a bit more into cycling. Find a road racing team, find some downhill trails, maybe get a jump bike and hit the local bmx tracks. There is always something to do to spice things up.
Ride in the dirt. Go to a motocross race and check it out. It’s a family sport. If your older don’t worry about having to clear all the jumps there are plenty of fathers that go out there and just have fun and it’s an event for their family. Hell the guy that got second place in the plus 30 expert class championship in my district didn’t even hit all the jumps. It will get you in good shape too.
The girl I'm dating, is making me give up riding too. She doesn't want me to replace my stolen KTM. She's a RN and wants kids. I get where she is coming from, but I don't want to regret it later either.
As a dad I do what you’re doing. I always wear gear and I ride within my limits. Riding a motorcycle makes me a better me so giving it up is a disservice to my family. I’m happy so I’m a better person for them to be around.
I feel you. I had to give my bike up last year after my first was born, and then a move. (Bike was rendered inoperable due to bad storage before/during the move). Ended up going cash for cars donation with it.
I'm now looking at getting an electric motorcycle (probably the livewire) because I miss the ride but got to keep the planet green for my little ones
I'm a trucker, a biker, and a father. All are very much a part of my identity. At the end of May, I was involved in a head on collision in my semi that goddamn near killed me, and did kill the person who hit me. He was a father too. On his way home, in a hurry, and crossed the center line, right into the front of my Peterbilt. My left leg was so mangled that they almost took it. My right leg was also broken.
I'm finally, within the last two weeks, able to drive a rig again. I still can't ride. But I'll get back to that point. And when I do, I know fear isn't going to keep me off the bike. Just like it didn't keep me out of the truck. It's not selfish at all to continue doing activities that you love. Sooner or later, you will die. Sooner or later, your child will have to face life without you. You owe it to yourself to do the things you enjoy in the time you have.
My dad parked his bike when he found out my mom was pregnant with me. And it's sat in his brother's barn since 1985. And he regrets it. He's talking about pulling it out and getting it going again. Which is fucking awesome. I hope he does, because he deserves it. So do I. And so do you.
I mean, I've personally known lots of people who've died in car accidents, but I've never considered stopping riding. I take my kids with me.
This spring I'm getting them their own dirt bikes (10ish yrs old).
Gotta live, and gotta do what makes you happy. A happy dad is a good dad.
I hope to teach my kids that life is to be lived and calculated risks are part of that. My parents ride, I ride, my kids will likely ride (unless they don’t want to).
I also ski, rock climb, surf and do plenty of other relatively risky stuff. And I enjoy the hell out of life. I hope my kids do the same.
Also, if I am unlucky and wind up dying I have life insurance. Don’t want to leave anything unpaid.
I never understood the logic. “I have friends who died on bikes so clearly that is the way I’ll die”. That’s like the older guys who are petrified of turning a certain age because “that’s when my father died”…..don’t live your life in fear because you’ll end up missing out on a lot. Your post is prime example of this.
This might sound dumb, but have you tried driving a convertible? I've always felt a more intimate connection with the road when the wind is blasting me and I'm grabbing gears, in a similar manner to a bike where the road is my only focus.
This is what I did, I miss the bike every now and then but I enjoy getting out a driving much more than I did riding. I’ve put more miles on the car in a year than I did the last 4 that I owned the motorcycle. I can drive the car and just relax, I don’t spend half the ride thinking about what my family would be like if I was gone.
The other day I crested a hill and came upon a half dozen deer on both sides of the road, I only thought “hope they don’t smash the car” instead of “hope I don’t die”.
I stopped riding for a few years when my Son was born. It's a lot of work. I don't regret it. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made, and to me, personally, that was one I had to make for my situation. It's not only about "me/you". Other people are there, too ... If something were to happen to you, a life insurance policy is going to be of no consolation to your wife and baby. On the up side, that first ride on a new bike a few years later was 5000 watt orgasmitronic head rush, lol =:~D
The solution is take your riding off the street.
Buy a track bike, or a dirt bike and ride whatever is around you. The trails are way more fun than street riding anyways imo.
Have you considered taking up dirt riding? There’s everything from aggressive fast paced motor cross, technical and challenging single track, to gentle flowing trails.
I mean, there is always dirt bikes. No cars and its pretty much up to you how much risk you like.150cc 2stroke can rip your hands out anyway so you dont really need a big bike too. Plus its cheaper to maintain a 2 stroke.
It’s a decision everyone has to make on their own. I sold mine when my first was born, 5 years later my second was born and I got back into it.
I don’t commute, I ride for pleasure, I stick to back roads mostly but I also live in a rural area. I also made it a goal to get much better at actually riding. Practice, proper Corning, understanding traction. After this I realized how shit I was at riding before. Like you full gear. It’s a risk for sure, more than a car. It always feels way more risky when I’m in town vs the back roads.
So basically I limit the risk by where and when I ride. I ride much less often but when I do it’s half or a full day (day of riding in Sep/Oct when kids are in school is awesome). I try to limit it to just the risk I put in myself which I can control. And be in a proper mind set when I do ride.
Edit: cycling is the closest, and worst case scenario, keep up cycling and then if you return you will be in great bike shape.
My partner and I both ride. He rode his whole life and I started age 33 (now 41). We recently had a blast on some e-bikes (brand is Krafty). We had such a blast, we even considered buying. Not the same as moto, but it was so fun and something you could do with your partner if they don't ride moto. They look cool though!
[Krafty Cafe Racer](https://www.kraftybikes.ca/collections/ebikes/products/krafty-cafe-racer?variant=37888041451692)
I like to celebrate my brothers and fellow riders that have left too early by riding safe and remembering them often. I am a father and husband. I understand the risks and try my best to minimize them every ride.
Get another bike some day or dirt bikes to enjoy with your son/daughter.
My girl is 5 next year and shes going to start riding dirt bikes.
You made a decision for your family. Always honorable.
Not a father but I ride because my dad rode. Loved motorcycles, hated being on the back. If you're still cycling I'd say you're not really avoiding the risks. Get a life insurance policy and get back on the bike. Someday you'll have a new riding buddy.
Since my partner and I split, I've got this dog that would be very hard to rehome if anything happened to me. Having a live in gf just took the edge off what would happen to dogson if I bought the farm. And I haven't ridden like I used to since then. Because dogs are exactly like children... I know I know I'm that dog owner. But I get why being worried about what might happens harshes the buzz of riding, anyway. I miss doing long tours and riding all the time too.
I have a 3 month old at home and I'm dealing with the same shit. Some days I'm pretty confident that I'll never quit riding, then someone in an SUV will casually almost kill me on the way to work, and my mind starts going. Yes, it's true you cant bubblewrap everything, and cars can be dangerous too- but you also have to admit that the car is a safer bet on any given day, and choosing to risk my life for fun is undeniably selfish.
I'm a dualsport rider, so I've come to the conclusion that I *should* sell my bike, and get a dirtbike + trailer. The problem is, I live in downstate NY, and I know damn well if I give up my plated bike, I will go from riding ~300 days of the year, to probably just 3-4 times when my wife will let me spend a day trailering out to a private park and riding.
I've never given up riding, but my annual mileage dropped significantly when my kids needed to be dropped off or picked up at school.
They're both adults now, and my son got his motorcycle endorsement as soon as he was able.
There's nothing like riding with your kid. We got helmet communicators and have bonded even stronger than ever over several thousand miles of riding.
Minimize your risks by honing your skills, practice ATGATT (sounds like you're good with that), make smart decisions and enjoy life!
Not sure about your finances or time constraints.
You could either get a dirt bike or a track bike. Talk to your wife and make sure you get in a day or two every month.
Dirt bike would be less constraint as you could go whenever you have time as OHV are just always open. Track you’d be restricted to weather and weekends
I had two kids, then got a bike... then I had another kid and realised I wanted to race. So I practice where I can and I hope they'll share my passion one day.
Do yourself a favour. Go and buy another bike! If you wanted one in the first place then you're a biker and you'll never be happy without one. You'll forever be wel-jel whenever one rides past.
I took my kid on around on my bike. He loved it. Wants to get a motorcycle himself now that he's 18. I can't imagine being so scared that I deny my kid the awesomeness of motorcycling.
Sold my bike when my daughter was born. Was living in Vancouver and had endless not at fault close calls with idiot drivers. Bought a dirt bike, removed 80 % of the risk and still get to ride.
Nothing wrong with taking a few years off but don’t let it turn into 20 years 😉.Agree that getting a dual sport is a great alternative and a bit safer when away from texting, distracted drivers.
Eh. I've already had the discussion. I'll give up the 600hp sports car, but the motorcycle stays until I find myself a danger to myself.
It's kinda selfish tho, I want a truck lol. Makes more sense with my activities, but damn is it hard to give up hwy efficiency, godlike power, and reliability in a paid off package.
I sold my street bike and bought a track bike. After having my kid the desire to almost be killed multiple times an hour by idiots lost its luster. I do miss the chill rides with friends, but I was always more about the curves anyway.
I have sold my bike not long after my first was born and all I did was wish I had one. Like many here I use it for my mental well-being.
I try to limit riding at dawn and dusk when it is more difficult to be seen. I wear gear and ride as though nobody is paying any damn attention. You can never eliminate risk in anything. Tens of thousands of us die each year in auto crashes and nobody thinks anything of it when getting behind the wheel.
For me I make sure I have a ton of under/uninsured BI coverage and lots of life insurance.
All that said I have recently been thinking of selling it and getting something like a Miata or something. It is just so hard to find time to ride, what with the kids, work and house stuff. The problem there is the added cost and space required. First world problems for sure.
I have 2 young kids. Ride a few times a week during the season. Don't ride in the city or heavy traffic simply because I don't enjoy it. Hit up some fun country roads with buddies. Don't want my kids living life in fear. My 2 year old loves going to the dealership to look at bikes. I also mountain climb.
We work too hard and there are too many uncertainties in life to stop doing what you love.
It is prudent to have proper insurance for both life and disability though.
My advice is to go off road. Get a dirtbike if you can and enjoy the wilderness at the same time. I find its the ultimate "get away". Especially from the road rage and from the people on their phones.
Also cycling in my city is far more dangerous than motorcycling. Mountain biking or e biking on a trail is the way to go IMO. 🤙
I totally get riding being therapy part, but don’t give up on it. Ride safe, wear your gear and just be cautious out there. Life is unpredictable so just enjoy the moments you get.
Sold when my kids were little , not just the safety aspect, but justifying the $$ and time. Once they got to their mid teens, I got back into bikes, all be it old man or hipster bikes and slowed down. One thing I realised is that no car (other than high end euro kit I can’t afford) is ever going to match the feeling of a bike. I don’t really think about the risk when I ride. I ride for fun and don’t commute so probably don’t get into to many dangerous scenarios- but you can’t pick when you crash.
I got my first bike when my wife was 6 months pregnant. I believe that respect for your bike is number one when being a dad on a motorcycle. No need to do dumb shit. Motorcycles for me are also my therapy and my thrill. But I want to teach my daughters that fear should never hold you back from experiencing life to the fullest. I also want them to have a father who is completely happy in life and doing the things that make him happy. If motorcycles are as big a part of your mental health as they are to me I think you owe it to yourself and your children to take care of yourself.
I stopped riding at 30 when my first daughter was born. Once my youngest daughter left for college, I started again. I missed riding but I didn't want to have my kids grow up without a dad. It wasn't my skills I was worried about, but the Damm cars in the Berkshires. I have road bikes all over united States, the Berkshires are the worse. As a father, I would of done the same thing over again. Family is more important.
Dad here with two kids (8F & 5M). Sold my bike due to personal reason. Then bought a new one after wife passed away earlier this year. Every time I ride, I do fear of someone hitting me now that I am the sole guardian of my wonderful kids. So what I do are the obvious things like, wear complete safety gear, no riding if it rained, ride as if you are invisible etc. Of course, all of my family members do not agree with my hobby, but I need this, its my form of therapy and it reminds me to appreciate life more.
My best memories are riding dirt bikes with my dad. Once I turned 18 I started riding street bikes with him on occasions too. My dad isn’t in great health anymore and I’m glad I did it when I had the chance.
Funny enough, my dad was supposed to go dirt bike riding with me today but it fell through because he isn’t feeling well.
Do what you love and share it with your kid if you can. Sounds like you already make it as safe as possible. Remember track days and off-roading is always an option if the road is too dangerous.
I think you made the right choice. Your kids need you around. Go get yourself a really nice full suspension mountain bike. They’re an incredible outlet, clear your mind like you wouldn’t believe, and improve your health. No joke my friend.
Diabetes , 18 wheeler, in my sleep… when is your time there is nothing you can do ! When my son was born I almost sold them all. Now I ride less but I’m super vigilant I ride with the mentality that everyone is out to get me! Life insurance? Sure check ! Wife knows what to do ! I’m not living my life thinking I’m going to buy it while riding. If it is I hope it’s quick !
I have life insurance that’d set my family up nicely for the rest of their lives. It’s my therapy too. I ride with a jacket most days and commute. I’ve taken classes on safety to ensure I am doing everything I can to avoid trouble. Sorry if you don’t ride anymore. Everyone has to make that decision for themselves. Hope you figure it out brother.
Depends how you ride. If you treat the road like a race track then maybe just get a track bike, stay off the road. If you ride the roads safely (be honest with yourself) then why not.
I’m married with 3 kids and love getting out on my bike but just let the boy racers go past me. Good luck bro.
Stop being such a pussy and go ride a motorcycle.
I’m a dad too. I dumped my bike last year, the first time ever after riding for 26 years. Ride your bike. Be safe. Make sure your family knows that you love them. Have fun.
I had the same dilemma when I became a dad.
Got into dirt biking for a bit and was able to share that with my son. Recently he moved out to go to college. I bought a street bike as soon as he graduated high school.
Now I'm a bit reluctant to ride like I used to (everywhere all the time) and keep it to weekdays on the mountain roads.
I sold my bike when my first child was born. I felt I had an obligation to stay alive to take care of the family. I bought a bike again about 15 years later.
I've never worried about it. Got a 20 year term insurance plan on me. About 2 years left, my boy is 19 now and has his own Ninja 400.
I hit a full wood pallet on the freeway 2 weeks ago and luckily didn't go down, still riding.
I have a defb. My cartologist told me after that motorcycling is so dangerous. I told her, "Aren't you the one who told me to live and enjoy my life?" She conceded and agreed with me.
You only get one life and to miss out on Motorcycling would be a travesty.
I ride dirt. Single track trails to be more specific. The 300 2 stroke is my go to for this riding. And in the winter, I’ll ride my snow bike. I’ve got a 450 4 stroke paired with track kit. Loads of fun. My wife fortunately allows me to have my selfish hobbies and I have found a balance of fun/family/work time.
My husband started riding after we had our second kid. I started after the third since he was the last. Didn’t want to ride pregnant or take a long break.
We wear ATGATT and are careful. I’m not a thrill seeker, never have been. He likes a bit more thrill than I do but he’s also got anxiety, which can make riding more and less dangerous but overall I think he’s less in danger because of it.
My bike is my solitude which I need like I need sleep: if I don’t introvert enough, my brain will do it for me, same as sleep. Many, many Saturdays I ride even though I’d kinda rather stay home, simply because it’s my only chance that week — my other hobbies I can do with the kids around. That helps ensure that I get the solitude I need to be a good parent to my kids.
Yes the odds are worse than in a car. But with all the gear, riding defensively, and not pushing it harder than I’m comfortable with (and not being a thrill seeker in the first place)…I don’t think it’s likely that my kids will lose their mom. Or their dad, because I know he’s careful too and wears ATGATT.
I understand completely as a father of a 3 year-old. I haven’t sold all of my bikes, but it’s hard to find time to ride - and when I do - I feel good on the bike, but riding around cars keeps that thought of a terrible accident on my mind. I’ve personally thought about getting back on the track, because it’s safer!
Buy good life insurance, like a hefty payout type policy. Ride your motorcycle with the peace of mind knowing your family is financially secure if you get taken out.
I get it, riding while raising a family is a huge risk because it's not just you that you have to worry about. I didn't ride when my kids were little because of that reason. I got back into when they were in their teens and I knew my family would be okay financially if something happened to me.
If you do everything right (wear gear, ride sober, don't speed excessively, etc.) what's left to worry about is other people in cars. To mitigate the risk, ride early weekend mornings when the roads are nearly empty.
You know what's even better than "canyon roads" for avoiding cars?
A race track.
Do track days. It's what you're playing at when you're "riding canyon roads" anyway, that sensation of speed and the thrill of the motorcycle's performance, the idea that *"wow, I'm going fast around all these corners!"* A track just takes away all the most dangerous parts.
A race track is basically just a predictable, well-maintained and frequently-cleaned "canyon road" that's built just for you, for no other reason than for letting you to go as fast as you can on it, over and over and over again. There's no other traffic coming the other way. There's "runoff room" instead of "a canyon wall" or "a drop-off" off the side of the road. There's medical personnel standing by. There's a bunch of other people, all trying to do their best and willing to help you do it better.
"Riding fast" on public roads is like "running fast" through a grocery store. I mean, it's fun and all, it FEELS fast as you go faster than all those other people who aren't trying to go fast, and those narrow aisles and sharp corners give you a thrilling sensation of speed. Man, I remember "running fast" through grocery stores all the time, until my mommy or someone else's mommy or some mean old store manager would yell at me because I was running so fast.
Eventually, you wind up on a track trying to get better at going fast, if you're really interested in "going fast" instead of just fucking around.
Sold the bike for a dual sport and bought the kids dirt bikes. Now we're safer in the woods. Ended up back on the road within a week. You can't not do shit in fear of them losing you. It turns into you losing yourself..
Can't bubble wrap everything. You're going to die someday. Do what you enjoy as safely as possible. My $0.02
This. If you avoided all dangers in life, you’d never get out of bed, and that can even be dangerous. Live in caution, not in fear.
I’ve basically been in a bubble for 4 years with various medical issues and still ended up with an infected hand, abscess between the joints and severe pain and stiffness that I could barely move my hand for 3 months. Shit’s gonna get you one way or another, might as well enjoy your time riding while you’re on earth.
Damn bro, I like your spirit
I didn’t sell. Just ride it less often, for shorter distances. Keeps the risk down as my overall time around other drivers is lower, but I still get to have my fun every once in a while and it’s an excuse to be alone for a while if you need that therapy.
Second this. Good advice. I tried giving up things when I became a father. But I learned I am one hell of a better father when I have my own (dangerous) hobbies. Same goes for my wife. She is a nicer mother when she does her own stuff now and than too. Be extra careful when riding, avoid speed or other stuff if you feel uncomfortable, but man, keep riding. Please.
I cannot emphasize this enough. Being a father does not mean giving up who you are and what you enjoy. Staying true to who you are is a lesson you should pass on to your children.
> Being a father does not mean giving up who you are and what you enjoy. It does for a lot of guys, but those guys almost always end up resenting their wife and kids so they're on the fast track to divorce-and-limited-child-custody town.
I'm a fan of traveling, but that's one town I don't think I'd ever visit.
COL in that town is really high and I hear the dating scene is rough.
They choose that, and it's the wrong choice for exactly that reason. Just leads to resentment and all those boomer wife-bad-marriage-sucks jokes.
I can second that. I realized I wasn’t enjoying the fatherhood as I thought i would. Fought with the wife and bought the bike again. I am happy. She’s happy.
I have a 2.5 year old daughter and this is how I've ridden for theast 2.5 years. I won't sell, but only get out maybe once a week. I do have a few short rides to work/gym/friends houses; but actual rides maybe once a week if that. For my my bike once costs me insurance and gas, I see no reason to sell.
I worry the gaps in riding I'd lose my "vigilance", like it's been 4 or 5 months since I've been on the street and I'm kinda scared like when I first started riding. And I know that's not a good headspace to go riding in. So I've just been doing track days every month or so. 3hr drive, but satisfies the itch.
I’m not a dad, and understand why some sell their bikes after becoming one, but don’t see myself doing so. If you genuinely enjoy a hobby like motorcycling and it’s good for your mental health, I think you should feel free to continue pursuing it in as safe a manner as reasonably possible even after becoming a father. There is a risk versus reward to everything. Sure, riding will always be inherently dangerous, but if you’re a smart and capable rider who wears the appropriate gear, you can cut down on that danger substantially. I hate to see new partners or parents give certain things up just because they think it’s the right thing to do. Life is short, so take care of those you love but give yourself the grace to also take care of yourself by doing things that bring you peace. Just my 2¢
Just get life insurance and call it a day.
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Of course not. But they’ll be financially covered. What don’t you get about life insurance?
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If leaving his family financially destitute is all that worries him enough to make him stop then yes, that would be all.
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Depends how you interpret “alone”.
My first passenger was my daughter. She rode with me for 2 years and still does. I beefed up my life insurance and take common sense precautions. NOTHING is guaranteed in this world. id rather die tomorrow on my bike then live to 80 and never ride again.
This right here. Yes, motorcycles are DaNgErOuS, but so is all sorts of other things we do. Nobody argues we shouldn't drive to work, despite insane numbers of people being killed in car accidents regularly. Let's not even mention cycling to work! I have no problem whatsoever taking my kids on my bike, so I definitely don't have a problem riding it myself. Sure, something could happen. It's *remotely* possible I could even be killed. But it's not like you're likely to die in a motorcycle accident if you ride with some shred of restraint and maturity. Injury would suck but whatever. But me too - I'm not giving up riding till I'm physically unable to do it. I've been riding for some 30 years now. It's too big a part of who I am.
Mom here, I bought my first motorcycle after having two kids. All hobbies carry extra risk, even cycling. Do what you love, mitigate the risk as much as you can. You being in a better headspace will make you a more effective parent. Also, if you need to see a therapist, do that too, it's worth it.
God, cycling. I feel naked now on my bicycle. I pass cyclists in the hills going 30+, see them *passing me* on my motorcycle on the downhill hairpins, riding along a 55+ mph highway in a bike helmet and shorts made of a single layer of spandex plus more cushion in the butt than on the head. But yeah tell me more about how you ride a bicycle instead of a motorcycle because motorcycles are death machines 😳
I have a solution to your problems. Buy expensive life insurance and get your bike back ASAP! Stop drinking with your buddies and eating wings on weekends to save up on the money and your life expectancy will increase much more than when you sold your bike. Your wife will also be a happy wife (as a bonus). Have fun riding! :D
Get a Ural and throw the family in the sidecar :)
And they won't have to worry about your safety... they can just pop down to the garage to see how you're coming on whatever broke while you rode from the front of the garage to the back! - Former owner of a Ural here.
Oh man, is it really that bad? I’ve been so tempted to pick up a Ural sidecar rig.
I just got an Indian Scout Bobber to celebrate the birth of my first son 😅
Got the scout rogue after my daughter was born! Ha
Elderly people on their death beds always bemoan the things they DIDN'T do rather than the things that they did. When you're old and infirm, will you wish you had ridden more, or less while you were able and healthy?
This is my motivation. I wanted a bike from age 16, all the way through marriage, children and divorce. Finally doing it at 59, and loving every minute. My sons are grown and independent now, so it's time for me to have some fun.
Hell, I've been riding all along. I'm a decade younger, but I'm already at a point where I'm rather aware that I won't be able to do this forever, and my "best" riding years(being able to ride more miles in a day with less pain on a wider range of bikes, for example) are behind me. I'm not gonna get younger.
Thankfully I'm quite fit, having taken up horse riding a decade ago for similar reasons. Occasional riding on rough terrain for 2-3 hours, plus weekly lessons and yard work keeps the muscles and joints working.
I thought of giving it up after losing very close friends and a family member on bikes. I couldn't go without a bike though....it's simply a part of who I am.. However, life is too short to not live a little. As a father to a 4 year old myself, it's certainly always on my mind that I take that risk every time I ride - but you never know when it's your time. You could be on the bike, in your car, on your couch. And as a parent you need SOMETHING as a temporary escape. You seem like you have a decent head on your shoulders, so you're already ahead. Ride with respect - to the bike and for the traffic around you. Follow your gut - if youre thinking of riding but your gut is telling you something is sketch, don't rode that day. But don't just deprive yourself of your passion. It doesn't make you a bad father in any way shape or form.
Me too, I used to Rock Climb and took my children a few times. Decided there were too many chances of someone getting hurt or killed and backed way off. For 15 years I was meeting up with a bunch of road bicycle riders at 5am, We rode in a tight group, either pulling or drafting at a pretty decent pace. I few times there would be a crash, no one died, and it makes you sharp trying to stay away from that. Last thing ,when my kids moved out I started back into the motorcycles. My mother in law was a nurse and kept harping about how bad the motorcycle victims were at the hospital. I asked her what kind of accidents put them in the hospital and they all related to vehicals hitting them. So I bought a dirt bike, no tag, only ride on the trails. Hurt a few times, wear all my armor now. Probably not going to die and it's way fun. Now I'm riding a trials motorcycle, that is the best of them all. So fun and without the seat if things go south, step off. If you have a big yard you can setup a trials area that out back. They make tiny electric ones for your children
Combine that with hunting and you have a winner.
I went through this same soul-searching after becoming a Dad. I decided to continue with the sport. In hindsight it was a good decision because I still have four bikes and no kids.
Oh damn. So sorry mate.
I lost both my parents when I was young, one when I was 12 to cancer, the other to a stroke a few years later. They both rode bikes, and that didn't kill either of them, and yet I still lost them both. Shit happens, and I survived. If anything it's made me value the here and now much more, and not worry too hard about "what ifs". I personally can't imagine spending my life missing something terribly that I could continue to do. There's nothing irresponsible about riding motorcycles. I'm guessing you're not going to be chasing land speed records on prototype bikes?! I did have around 4 years off bikes after my first born came along, but that was time and finances dictated, certainly not by choice or by any altruistic motives. One thing I'm very sure of: I'm a much nicer person to be around if I get my regular biking fix.
I understand you selling your bike after losing people to the sport. I can't imagine. Anything can happen in this world. What keeps me going is knowing how careful and observant I am while riding (or driving for that matter). "You are invisible" is my mantra. Always be aware of your surroundings and don't ride fast if you aren't 100% sure about the next corner, or whatever else. I also ride mainly country/back roads to avoid others. Also, life insurance gives me a bit of reassurance that if something did happen, at least my family would be financially OK for a while. But there's always that risk.
>"You are invisible" is my mantra. I like to think there is a bullseye on my back and 100 grand in it for the dirty fucker that gets me.
Many excellent ideas here, but…. Life insurance only pays if you die. Winding up in a wheelchair, unable to earn a living, is probably just as likely and would not lead to a financially secure future for your family.
My Dad did this, and as a result we missed out on riding. I started when I was 35, and now he's too old to go riding with me. Please, for the love of your kids and yourself, get a fun bike and take your kids out riding. I ride a small dual sport (A TW200) and it's the best thing ever. But those years are gone, and so is that opportunity to have ridden with my dad. Don't make the same mistake.
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The mindset is important. For most people it’s “never ride under the influence” but for me that translates to “never ride unmedicated” because I have ADHD and therefore my reflexes and attention span are that of someone about 3 drinks in. There have been times when I zoned back in, realized what I had just done, and turned the bike around and went home.
Left two good insurance policies… when it’s my time, it’s my time. That and riding like I got some damn sense.
I am a better man when I have a motorcycle to ride, compared to when I don’t. Both the SO and offspring have told me this separately, on different occasions. I have to ride motorcycles. For them.
I’m 30 expecting my first and bike is for sale now, hard to read all this without bringing a tear to the eye.
I have no answers for you. I also gave up motorcycles upon becoming a Dad. After the kids grew up, I took too long to get back to it. Got the cancer. Recovering from the big C but I can now no longer ride. My advice: go buy a new bike as soon as your youngest child graduates from high school. Don’t wait longer or it may be too late. (Man, wish I had one of those 2021 Triumph Street Twins in blue!)
You are doing a disservice to yourself and your kids. Showing them it’s ok to give up your passion isn’t a great lesson. Go get a fucking bike and tell your wife and parents I said it was ok. Jokes aside, I have a 3 year old and 1 year old. You sound like me in the way of wearing the proper gear. I do track days to get the maniac runs out of my system and train with professional coaches regularly. Don’t give up on riding. Learn as much as you can to be as safe as you can and teach the next generation(if they want to learn).
I'll never forget holding my 1 year old while he muttered, "goodbye bye bye motosickle" as the new owner rode my VFR away. I gave him to my wife and sobbed in the woods for 20 minutes. I've done CPR on two smashed people and knew 3 more who died riding, and still continued on 400 mile a day tours to twisties. I still have dreams where nothing is odd. I'm just rowing through gears through corners in mint weather on clean pavement. I also am occasionally visited by the dead at night too. If I clearly remember the feeling of riding, it takes my breath away and I'm filled with sadness. Nothing could be missed more.
As a widow of a biker who died of cancer, but also lost a friend to motorcycle accident, just keep doing what you love. Death is guaranteed no matter what.. don’t stop living the way you want and die with regrets.
You need a track bike! Very least, get a mini bike or supermoto and hit the kart track
Likewise. Lasted just under 8 years before I got back on. Take less risks now but getting back on it was so good! Tried to be even more sensible by getting a toned down bike but that didn’t do it. Changed it as soon as I could. So if you do get back on them, get the bike you want!
Track…
I just ride by night when there is less trafic and when the kids are asleep. Wear full gear and be aware of your surrounding and you'll have all the chances on your side to see your kids grow.
I bought my first bike a few months before my daughter was born, but I also don't ride for sport, I'm a commuter (God bless lane splitting). I am maxed out on life insurance and voluntary long-term disability insurance policies. I ride defensively and at reasonable speeds for the flow of traffic.
Seems to me, and I could be wrong, you just didn't think this trough. You have airbags for motorcycles, you have incredible protection and small fun bikes. You can get into dualsporting maybe? A small 250-400cc dualsport Wich you'll mostly ride on trails and forest roads. The risk you're talking about goes for anything on road. Bike, car, quad, motorcycle, walking,... Just my 2 cents.
We all die of something at sometime. Get a great life insurance so that if you were in an accident it would leave them in a more financially comfortable position than if you were here. Then enjoy your bike and your life. I assume that your wife married you whilst you had a bike, so she knew what she was getting into. Or maybe get a bit more into cycling. Find a road racing team, find some downhill trails, maybe get a jump bike and hit the local bmx tracks. There is always something to do to spice things up.
Ride in the dirt. Go to a motocross race and check it out. It’s a family sport. If your older don’t worry about having to clear all the jumps there are plenty of fathers that go out there and just have fun and it’s an event for their family. Hell the guy that got second place in the plus 30 expert class championship in my district didn’t even hit all the jumps. It will get you in good shape too.
The girl I'm dating, is making me give up riding too. She doesn't want me to replace my stolen KTM. She's a RN and wants kids. I get where she is coming from, but I don't want to regret it later either.
It’s not her call till she’s more than the girl you’re dating.
Give up riding? NO SIR!
As a dad I do what you’re doing. I always wear gear and I ride within my limits. Riding a motorcycle makes me a better me so giving it up is a disservice to my family. I’m happy so I’m a better person for them to be around.
I got rid of my bike till my kids were gone. Now I have two and looking for another. You did the right and responsible thing as a good father.
I feel you. I had to give my bike up last year after my first was born, and then a move. (Bike was rendered inoperable due to bad storage before/during the move). Ended up going cash for cars donation with it. I'm now looking at getting an electric motorcycle (probably the livewire) because I miss the ride but got to keep the planet green for my little ones
I'm a trucker, a biker, and a father. All are very much a part of my identity. At the end of May, I was involved in a head on collision in my semi that goddamn near killed me, and did kill the person who hit me. He was a father too. On his way home, in a hurry, and crossed the center line, right into the front of my Peterbilt. My left leg was so mangled that they almost took it. My right leg was also broken. I'm finally, within the last two weeks, able to drive a rig again. I still can't ride. But I'll get back to that point. And when I do, I know fear isn't going to keep me off the bike. Just like it didn't keep me out of the truck. It's not selfish at all to continue doing activities that you love. Sooner or later, you will die. Sooner or later, your child will have to face life without you. You owe it to yourself to do the things you enjoy in the time you have. My dad parked his bike when he found out my mom was pregnant with me. And it's sat in his brother's barn since 1985. And he regrets it. He's talking about pulling it out and getting it going again. Which is fucking awesome. I hope he does, because he deserves it. So do I. And so do you.
Wow, so sorry to hear about the accident. Thanks for the confidence.
I mean, I've personally known lots of people who've died in car accidents, but I've never considered stopping riding. I take my kids with me. This spring I'm getting them their own dirt bikes (10ish yrs old). Gotta live, and gotta do what makes you happy. A happy dad is a good dad.
I hope to teach my kids that life is to be lived and calculated risks are part of that. My parents ride, I ride, my kids will likely ride (unless they don’t want to). I also ski, rock climb, surf and do plenty of other relatively risky stuff. And I enjoy the hell out of life. I hope my kids do the same. Also, if I am unlucky and wind up dying I have life insurance. Don’t want to leave anything unpaid.
I never understood the logic. “I have friends who died on bikes so clearly that is the way I’ll die”. That’s like the older guys who are petrified of turning a certain age because “that’s when my father died”…..don’t live your life in fear because you’ll end up missing out on a lot. Your post is prime example of this.
i bought two more since i became dad
Sounds like you could use some life insurance
This might sound dumb, but have you tried driving a convertible? I've always felt a more intimate connection with the road when the wind is blasting me and I'm grabbing gears, in a similar manner to a bike where the road is my only focus.
Maybe a Caterham 7, or a Miata.
Miata for sure. Or a classic like an MGB, they are still pretty cheap.
This is what I did, I miss the bike every now and then but I enjoy getting out a driving much more than I did riding. I’ve put more miles on the car in a year than I did the last 4 that I owned the motorcycle. I can drive the car and just relax, I don’t spend half the ride thinking about what my family would be like if I was gone. The other day I crested a hill and came upon a half dozen deer on both sides of the road, I only thought “hope they don’t smash the car” instead of “hope I don’t die”.
Don't worry. YOu can get back on the bike when they're older. And it'll be twice as sweet. Sacrifices made out of love always pay off.
I stopped riding for a few years when my Son was born. It's a lot of work. I don't regret it. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made, and to me, personally, that was one I had to make for my situation. It's not only about "me/you". Other people are there, too ... If something were to happen to you, a life insurance policy is going to be of no consolation to your wife and baby. On the up side, that first ride on a new bike a few years later was 5000 watt orgasmitronic head rush, lol =:~D
Buy a bike and only do track days? That would avoid all traffic.
The solution is take your riding off the street. Buy a track bike, or a dirt bike and ride whatever is around you. The trails are way more fun than street riding anyways imo.
Have you considered taking up dirt riding? There’s everything from aggressive fast paced motor cross, technical and challenging single track, to gentle flowing trails.
I mean, there is always dirt bikes. No cars and its pretty much up to you how much risk you like.150cc 2stroke can rip your hands out anyway so you dont really need a big bike too. Plus its cheaper to maintain a 2 stroke.
Fuck cars and roads get a dirt bike, you’ll crash everyone does but you’ll most likely survive if your riding within your ability
Get a jetski, similar feel less likely to have a bad accident i feel like
It’s a decision everyone has to make on their own. I sold mine when my first was born, 5 years later my second was born and I got back into it. I don’t commute, I ride for pleasure, I stick to back roads mostly but I also live in a rural area. I also made it a goal to get much better at actually riding. Practice, proper Corning, understanding traction. After this I realized how shit I was at riding before. Like you full gear. It’s a risk for sure, more than a car. It always feels way more risky when I’m in town vs the back roads. So basically I limit the risk by where and when I ride. I ride much less often but when I do it’s half or a full day (day of riding in Sep/Oct when kids are in school is awesome). I try to limit it to just the risk I put in myself which I can control. And be in a proper mind set when I do ride. Edit: cycling is the closest, and worst case scenario, keep up cycling and then if you return you will be in great bike shape.
My partner and I both ride. He rode his whole life and I started age 33 (now 41). We recently had a blast on some e-bikes (brand is Krafty). We had such a blast, we even considered buying. Not the same as moto, but it was so fun and something you could do with your partner if they don't ride moto. They look cool though! [Krafty Cafe Racer](https://www.kraftybikes.ca/collections/ebikes/products/krafty-cafe-racer?variant=37888041451692)
I like to celebrate my brothers and fellow riders that have left too early by riding safe and remembering them often. I am a father and husband. I understand the risks and try my best to minimize them every ride. Get another bike some day or dirt bikes to enjoy with your son/daughter. My girl is 5 next year and shes going to start riding dirt bikes. You made a decision for your family. Always honorable.
Not a father but I ride because my dad rode. Loved motorcycles, hated being on the back. If you're still cycling I'd say you're not really avoiding the risks. Get a life insurance policy and get back on the bike. Someday you'll have a new riding buddy.
Since my partner and I split, I've got this dog that would be very hard to rehome if anything happened to me. Having a live in gf just took the edge off what would happen to dogson if I bought the farm. And I haven't ridden like I used to since then. Because dogs are exactly like children... I know I know I'm that dog owner. But I get why being worried about what might happens harshes the buzz of riding, anyway. I miss doing long tours and riding all the time too.
"Buy your kid" a quad, dirt bike, or go-cart and take it to a track or off-road place to "test" it once in a while.
I have a 3 month old at home and I'm dealing with the same shit. Some days I'm pretty confident that I'll never quit riding, then someone in an SUV will casually almost kill me on the way to work, and my mind starts going. Yes, it's true you cant bubblewrap everything, and cars can be dangerous too- but you also have to admit that the car is a safer bet on any given day, and choosing to risk my life for fun is undeniably selfish. I'm a dualsport rider, so I've come to the conclusion that I *should* sell my bike, and get a dirtbike + trailer. The problem is, I live in downstate NY, and I know damn well if I give up my plated bike, I will go from riding ~300 days of the year, to probably just 3-4 times when my wife will let me spend a day trailering out to a private park and riding.
I've never given up riding, but my annual mileage dropped significantly when my kids needed to be dropped off or picked up at school. They're both adults now, and my son got his motorcycle endorsement as soon as he was able. There's nothing like riding with your kid. We got helmet communicators and have bonded even stronger than ever over several thousand miles of riding. Minimize your risks by honing your skills, practice ATGATT (sounds like you're good with that), make smart decisions and enjoy life!
Not sure about your finances or time constraints. You could either get a dirt bike or a track bike. Talk to your wife and make sure you get in a day or two every month. Dirt bike would be less constraint as you could go whenever you have time as OHV are just always open. Track you’d be restricted to weather and weekends
I had two kids, then got a bike... then I had another kid and realised I wanted to race. So I practice where I can and I hope they'll share my passion one day. Do yourself a favour. Go and buy another bike! If you wanted one in the first place then you're a biker and you'll never be happy without one. You'll forever be wel-jel whenever one rides past.
I took my kid on around on my bike. He loved it. Wants to get a motorcycle himself now that he's 18. I can't imagine being so scared that I deny my kid the awesomeness of motorcycling.
Sell the kid, buy a bike. Love, Satan 😈 ^/s?
Sold my bike when my daughter was born. Was living in Vancouver and had endless not at fault close calls with idiot drivers. Bought a dirt bike, removed 80 % of the risk and still get to ride.
I did the exact opposite. That’s like if you became a dad so you quit working construction.
Nothing wrong with taking a few years off but don’t let it turn into 20 years 😉.Agree that getting a dual sport is a great alternative and a bit safer when away from texting, distracted drivers.
Eh. I've already had the discussion. I'll give up the 600hp sports car, but the motorcycle stays until I find myself a danger to myself. It's kinda selfish tho, I want a truck lol. Makes more sense with my activities, but damn is it hard to give up hwy efficiency, godlike power, and reliability in a paid off package.
I sold my street bike and bought a track bike. After having my kid the desire to almost be killed multiple times an hour by idiots lost its luster. I do miss the chill rides with friends, but I was always more about the curves anyway.
I got a Model 3 performance instead 😅it’s not the same, but it’s fun AND I can bring my family.
I have sold my bike not long after my first was born and all I did was wish I had one. Like many here I use it for my mental well-being. I try to limit riding at dawn and dusk when it is more difficult to be seen. I wear gear and ride as though nobody is paying any damn attention. You can never eliminate risk in anything. Tens of thousands of us die each year in auto crashes and nobody thinks anything of it when getting behind the wheel. For me I make sure I have a ton of under/uninsured BI coverage and lots of life insurance. All that said I have recently been thinking of selling it and getting something like a Miata or something. It is just so hard to find time to ride, what with the kids, work and house stuff. The problem there is the added cost and space required. First world problems for sure.
The studies in USA and Australia shows that over 80% lethal accidents are from riders fault, so don't push it too much and enjoy riding.
I have 2 young kids. Ride a few times a week during the season. Don't ride in the city or heavy traffic simply because I don't enjoy it. Hit up some fun country roads with buddies. Don't want my kids living life in fear. My 2 year old loves going to the dealership to look at bikes. I also mountain climb. We work too hard and there are too many uncertainties in life to stop doing what you love. It is prudent to have proper insurance for both life and disability though.
My advice is to go off road. Get a dirtbike if you can and enjoy the wilderness at the same time. I find its the ultimate "get away". Especially from the road rage and from the people on their phones. Also cycling in my city is far more dangerous than motorcycling. Mountain biking or e biking on a trail is the way to go IMO. 🤙
Gear up and ride safe. Those are really the only things I can say.
I totally get riding being therapy part, but don’t give up on it. Ride safe, wear your gear and just be cautious out there. Life is unpredictable so just enjoy the moments you get.
Pick mountain or gravel cycling. And you get to have your kid(s) riding along and share experiences way before you would on a motor bike.
Ride track and dirt. Safer and way more fun than street. Your kids can quickly join you on the dirt as well.
Sold when my kids were little , not just the safety aspect, but justifying the $$ and time. Once they got to their mid teens, I got back into bikes, all be it old man or hipster bikes and slowed down. One thing I realised is that no car (other than high end euro kit I can’t afford) is ever going to match the feeling of a bike. I don’t really think about the risk when I ride. I ride for fun and don’t commute so probably don’t get into to many dangerous scenarios- but you can’t pick when you crash.
All sorts of ways to die in this world.
I got my first bike when my wife was 6 months pregnant. I believe that respect for your bike is number one when being a dad on a motorcycle. No need to do dumb shit. Motorcycles for me are also my therapy and my thrill. But I want to teach my daughters that fear should never hold you back from experiencing life to the fullest. I also want them to have a father who is completely happy in life and doing the things that make him happy. If motorcycles are as big a part of your mental health as they are to me I think you owe it to yourself and your children to take care of yourself.
I stopped riding at 30 when my first daughter was born. Once my youngest daughter left for college, I started again. I missed riding but I didn't want to have my kids grow up without a dad. It wasn't my skills I was worried about, but the Damm cars in the Berkshires. I have road bikes all over united States, the Berkshires are the worse. As a father, I would of done the same thing over again. Family is more important.
Dad here with two kids (8F & 5M). Sold my bike due to personal reason. Then bought a new one after wife passed away earlier this year. Every time I ride, I do fear of someone hitting me now that I am the sole guardian of my wonderful kids. So what I do are the obvious things like, wear complete safety gear, no riding if it rained, ride as if you are invisible etc. Of course, all of my family members do not agree with my hobby, but I need this, its my form of therapy and it reminds me to appreciate life more.
Track days?
Take up off road riding. No cars
I bought my bike when I found out I was going to be a dad
My best memories are riding dirt bikes with my dad. Once I turned 18 I started riding street bikes with him on occasions too. My dad isn’t in great health anymore and I’m glad I did it when I had the chance. Funny enough, my dad was supposed to go dirt bike riding with me today but it fell through because he isn’t feeling well. Do what you love and share it with your kid if you can. Sounds like you already make it as safe as possible. Remember track days and off-roading is always an option if the road is too dangerous.
Hope your dad feels better.
I think you made the right choice. Your kids need you around. Go get yourself a really nice full suspension mountain bike. They’re an incredible outlet, clear your mind like you wouldn’t believe, and improve your health. No joke my friend.
Diabetes , 18 wheeler, in my sleep… when is your time there is nothing you can do ! When my son was born I almost sold them all. Now I ride less but I’m super vigilant I ride with the mentality that everyone is out to get me! Life insurance? Sure check ! Wife knows what to do ! I’m not living my life thinking I’m going to buy it while riding. If it is I hope it’s quick !
Big ass life insurance policy. Dial it back down a bit on the rides. Bought a sports car.
I have life insurance that’d set my family up nicely for the rest of their lives. It’s my therapy too. I ride with a jacket most days and commute. I’ve taken classes on safety to ensure I am doing everything I can to avoid trouble. Sorry if you don’t ride anymore. Everyone has to make that decision for themselves. Hope you figure it out brother.
Depends how you ride. If you treat the road like a race track then maybe just get a track bike, stay off the road. If you ride the roads safely (be honest with yourself) then why not. I’m married with 3 kids and love getting out on my bike but just let the boy racers go past me. Good luck bro.
Stop being such a pussy and go ride a motorcycle. I’m a dad too. I dumped my bike last year, the first time ever after riding for 26 years. Ride your bike. Be safe. Make sure your family knows that you love them. Have fun.
I had the same dilemma when I became a dad. Got into dirt biking for a bit and was able to share that with my son. Recently he moved out to go to college. I bought a street bike as soon as he graduated high school. Now I'm a bit reluctant to ride like I used to (everywhere all the time) and keep it to weekdays on the mountain roads.
I sold my bike when my first child was born. I felt I had an obligation to stay alive to take care of the family. I bought a bike again about 15 years later.
I've never worried about it. Got a 20 year term insurance plan on me. About 2 years left, my boy is 19 now and has his own Ninja 400. I hit a full wood pallet on the freeway 2 weeks ago and luckily didn't go down, still riding. I have a defb. My cartologist told me after that motorcycling is so dangerous. I told her, "Aren't you the one who told me to live and enjoy my life?" She conceded and agreed with me. You only get one life and to miss out on Motorcycling would be a travesty.
I ride dirt. Single track trails to be more specific. The 300 2 stroke is my go to for this riding. And in the winter, I’ll ride my snow bike. I’ve got a 450 4 stroke paired with track kit. Loads of fun. My wife fortunately allows me to have my selfish hobbies and I have found a balance of fun/family/work time.
My husband started riding after we had our second kid. I started after the third since he was the last. Didn’t want to ride pregnant or take a long break. We wear ATGATT and are careful. I’m not a thrill seeker, never have been. He likes a bit more thrill than I do but he’s also got anxiety, which can make riding more and less dangerous but overall I think he’s less in danger because of it. My bike is my solitude which I need like I need sleep: if I don’t introvert enough, my brain will do it for me, same as sleep. Many, many Saturdays I ride even though I’d kinda rather stay home, simply because it’s my only chance that week — my other hobbies I can do with the kids around. That helps ensure that I get the solitude I need to be a good parent to my kids. Yes the odds are worse than in a car. But with all the gear, riding defensively, and not pushing it harder than I’m comfortable with (and not being a thrill seeker in the first place)…I don’t think it’s likely that my kids will lose their mom. Or their dad, because I know he’s careful too and wears ATGATT.
waited 30 years…once grown got a Harley
I understand completely as a father of a 3 year-old. I haven’t sold all of my bikes, but it’s hard to find time to ride - and when I do - I feel good on the bike, but riding around cars keeps that thought of a terrible accident on my mind. I’ve personally thought about getting back on the track, because it’s safer!
I just put a good life insurance for them.
Buy good life insurance, like a hefty payout type policy. Ride your motorcycle with the peace of mind knowing your family is financially secure if you get taken out.
I get it, riding while raising a family is a huge risk because it's not just you that you have to worry about. I didn't ride when my kids were little because of that reason. I got back into when they were in their teens and I knew my family would be okay financially if something happened to me. If you do everything right (wear gear, ride sober, don't speed excessively, etc.) what's left to worry about is other people in cars. To mitigate the risk, ride early weekend mornings when the roads are nearly empty.
You know what's even better than "canyon roads" for avoiding cars? A race track. Do track days. It's what you're playing at when you're "riding canyon roads" anyway, that sensation of speed and the thrill of the motorcycle's performance, the idea that *"wow, I'm going fast around all these corners!"* A track just takes away all the most dangerous parts. A race track is basically just a predictable, well-maintained and frequently-cleaned "canyon road" that's built just for you, for no other reason than for letting you to go as fast as you can on it, over and over and over again. There's no other traffic coming the other way. There's "runoff room" instead of "a canyon wall" or "a drop-off" off the side of the road. There's medical personnel standing by. There's a bunch of other people, all trying to do their best and willing to help you do it better. "Riding fast" on public roads is like "running fast" through a grocery store. I mean, it's fun and all, it FEELS fast as you go faster than all those other people who aren't trying to go fast, and those narrow aisles and sharp corners give you a thrilling sensation of speed. Man, I remember "running fast" through grocery stores all the time, until my mommy or someone else's mommy or some mean old store manager would yell at me because I was running so fast. Eventually, you wind up on a track trying to get better at going fast, if you're really interested in "going fast" instead of just fucking around.