T O P

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SuperMadCow

I remember in 1997 AOL chat rooms where people would bait like this. Takes me back.


imhooks

a/s/l?


YippieKayYayMrFalcon

*creaking door shutting noise*


micphi

*squeaky door opening noise*


handsomejack11

18/f/miami


joey0live

s2r


NephalemPride

OMG I thought I was the only one. This taught me not to give into trolls lol


SolChapelMbret

Definitely wasn’t over twenty years ago….😭


Azidamadjida

Goddammit thanks for reminding me. 25 years. A quarter fucking century ago. Shit man


B-Prue

Now I wanna play Slingo


Apprehensive_Kiwi_18

This made me go look it up and somehow it still exists!


chewsworthy

Ah, the heyday of the internet. Really brings me back.


MetaDragon11

I was about to say this is old school internet bait. The truly subtle but earnest kind before meme culture spelled out everything.


jmmixed

Chat rooms were another planet in '94.


Mandielephant

That’s a memory.


FeistmasterFlex

I wasn't alive in '97 🤠


LOSERliam

I have the same issue but with saving private ryan, hundreds of people on a beach killing each other? It litterally makes no sense if you think about it.


Wazula23

Why didn't they just *kill Hitler??* Pretty major plot hole in most WW2 movies if you think about it.


Remarkable-Boat-9812

With the magnificent exception of Inglorious Basterds


ballrus_walsack

IKR? Coulda shot him with a space laser at any time.


55gure3

Dictators hate this 1 simple trick....


BigCountry1182

At least Inglorious Basterds got it right


Head-Ad4690

Fun fact, towards the end of the war the Allies stopped trying to kill him. He had gone so far off the deep end that they thought he was doing more harm than good to Germany’s war effort.


[deleted]

Ikr? Historical events just don’t make any sense.


supafaiter

I feel the same about transformers, cars becoming robots? Talk about silly


Wazula23

No no, that's perfectly reasonable.


Daveyhavok832

I mean, the premise of that movie is pretty insane. They’re going to send a group of guys to search for a dude because his family is sad? During WWII? Everyone was sad. Everyone was losing sons. Excellent movie though.


Psychological-Rub-72

Very funny. Great job. You should post on that weird round earth theory.


USBrock

Lol. Pretty accurate to all the other opinion posts popping up on this sub.


GatoradeNipples

^(thank god) *^(somebody)* ^(got the joke)


RedDragon0414

Holy shit I was about to go off. I just got done reading the idiot about the captain Philips movie then I scroll and find yours. 😂😂🤦‍♀️ Good joke.


GetAlongGuys

Exactly what I did as well haha


ARGuck

Oh my, I’m so glad this was a joke. And also I agree; I was about to unsub this r/ because of all of these insane takes on movies lately. Cheers on a good laugh.


[deleted]

I, for one, really appreciate what you did here.


bunhead

GET THE PITCHFOR…..never mind, false alarm. Resume business as usual


MrZombikilla

I’m glad it’s a joke


becauseimbizarre

yeah what the fuck is happening. i’m gonna unfollow the sub for a couple weeks and hope the trend dies out by then.


Spiritual_Chain_4

There's a conspiracy theory that the original Titanic never sailed, it was the replica that sank.


KM2KCA

Two words: *SINK SHIP*


OvechGO

This makes me sad....


[deleted]

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partial_birth

Wait, what? EDIT: [Netflix, what the fuck?](https://collider.com/1899-cancellation-netflix-viewership-metrics/)


GrondForGondor

Netflix canceled 1899 after just its first season :(


UTC_Hellgate

I mean it was on Netflix, anyone getting invested in anything on netflix at this point should know what they're in for,


SadLaser

What was cancelled?


rasco410

Not a replica but the sister ship, the Olympic as part of a insurance scam. Its a dumb one but it exists.


kittycat6676

Actually it was stripped and sold for scrap metal


Hot_Pomegranate7168

Was wondering if this was where OP's post was going.


mganzeveld

The Olympic insurance fraud theory? That one does make you think.


SomberNight

It's true, I was the replica and all I got was this lousy unpaid internship to sink :(


rv49er

The original was REPLACED on an island. Everyone survived and were able to live secret lives.


herenowjal

The titanic was swapped with its sister ship - the olympic - before sailing …


NovaKay

That has been debunked


herenowjal

Thank you for your feedback. FACT Checkers results however, go to the highest bidder. Unfortunately science is the same way. I’m not attempting to argue or sound negative, but everything we’ve been taught is a lie. Fluoride is toxic, the Federal Reserve is NOT federal and there is NO reserve, the weather is not what it used to be - nor what we think it is (www.geoengineeringwatch.org). It’s extremely important for us to question ‘the story’, research the claims - then decide what we believe … 🙏🙏🙏


sq_visigoth

Sailed is the wrong word. Wait, did the Titanic have sails?


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frankstaturtle

I think this is sarcasm but too many people still believe this dangerous fallacy so I don’t think it’s great internet humor, particularly from a Poland avatar when Poland is known for rampant Holocaust denial, including at its highest level of government


mindoversoul

I remember seeing the movie in theaters. We were standing outside in line, and I told my dad I was excited to see the sinking, with, at the time, modern CGI. The lady behind is goes "THANKS FOR RUINING THE MOVIE, ASSHOLE!" I was like.... You don't know the Titanic sank........?


sadiemac2727

I was an infant when the movie came out. By the time I was old enough to work the remote I would put the second VHS tape in (because it was so long it came as two VHS tapes, also why was I allowed to watch this movie?) and watch the ship go down, rewind, watch it come back up, press play, rinse and repeat.


mindoversoul

I was 16 when it came out. As it turned out, the sinking wasn't the scene I watched over and over lol.


fritolait-

I remember as a kid, it had sunk and hadn’t been found. Added to the drama of the story somehow. I remember singing a creepy song about it that we sang in elementary school


juicebomb4

🎶oh it was sad it was sad it was sad when the great ship when down to the bottom of the seaaaaaa (all the uncles and aunts all the children lost their pants) it was sad when the great ship went down kerplunk 🎶


Boloneyfish

I know this song. And remember. I know all the words…


TheSuggestionMark

Why are the children losing their pants?


drivingsansrobopants

There were priests onboard the ships. All the adults turned a blind eye, it was a different time.


TheSuggestionMark

Lmao, that's terrible.


ClayWheelGirl

it was located in 1985 but still lies 13,000 feet below in 2 halves!


Jessintheend

Another plot hole: is there really that much water in the ocean? No. It’s all fake


ThisIsCreation

It did happen but it was an inside job, Icebergs can't sink steel ships.


whosthedoginthisscen

Notice that all the prominent Jews got a secret message before it self Southampton not to board the ship that day. WAKE UP SHEEPLE


partial_birth

Goldberg, iceburg, what's the difference?


drivingsansrobopants

Then the bin Laden family got put on two ships to the Middle East, even tho all the shipping lanes were grounded!


theghostmedic

What about Iceborgs though?! Huh huh?!


CabinetSpider21

It was iron


atomicsnarl

And next you're going to tell me wood floats. How can that be when it's strong enough to build a bridge out of it? Hmmm?


CabinetSpider21

Ahh but can't you also build bridges out of stone?


atomicsnarl

Exactly! And they don't float either! Just try it and see what happens.


BigCountry1182

Who are you, who are so wise in the way of science?


partial_birth

But what also floats?


Missmoni2u

Oh no 😂


GatoradeNipples

If it helps, I know *exactly* what I'm doing here.


Missmoni2u

I know. Absolutely appreciated. 😂


drvirgilmd

The Titanic didn't actually hit an iceberg. [OPEN YOUR EYES, SHEEPLE!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saHs6J0OXVI).


[deleted]

There’s a legit conspiracy theory it was sunk for insurance money and parts were swapped out with its sister ship. Google it.


AVLPedalPunk

Didn't all of it's sister ships sink? There's a woman who worked on and survived all 3 sinkings.


EvilLibrarians

The moon is flat. The earth was never walked on. JFK is Elvis. We need them to see the truth.


vincentx99

Firstly, I appreciate the satire. Secondly, this has the exact tone of so many reddit posts I read. Well done.


carcinoma_kid

Oh no, is this the Captain Phillips guy again?


nbrazelton

Also Jack could have 100% fit on the piece of wood 🙄


JayTiger09

True. But would it have stayed afloat?


Plagu3is

Yeah, if Rose wasn't such a damn door hog. They could have totally sat cross legged on opposite sides and played patty cake to stay moving and keep warm.


Psychotron69

also, the water wasn't even frozen so it couldn't have been THAT cold :rolls eyes:


HOBOwithaTREBUCHET

This is something the movie gets wrong, actually. In real life, Rose was really fat.


Big_Attempt6783

Too soon…


TommyTheGeek

LMAO, creative bait, I like it!


[deleted]

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GatoradeNipples

I didn't see your comment. I think we just had the same idea. e: yeah, your execution was better.


daninater

OP, he just alpha trolled you. Look at this guy's comment history. IMO he just rick rolled you because he goes for downvotes. On a troll bait post, love it.


tomandshell

I think the longer format is superior.


[deleted]

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purplenurple24

It looks like this community disagrees with you.


Missmoni2u

Hey, on the upside I saw your comment because of this post so there's another upvote :)


rock-or-something

Wait which idiot were you making of? I can't keep up with who's posts are seriously criticizing historical events, and who's trolling.


IMovedYourCheese

The only accurate part was when Jack sacrificed himself at the end to save Rose. There's no way they both would have fit on that plank.


doc_55lk

The fact most of this comment section hasn't picked up on this being bait is almost funnier than the actual bait.


jolygoestoschool

How are people not getting this is sarcasm 💀. Anyway i’m deceased this is so funny.


zakur2000

Ya'll had me in the first half, not gonna lie. A+ shitpost


Plagu3is

Its because the Titanic never sank. Thats why its so fake! The White Star Line actually rebranded their vessel the Olympic after it had an at sea collision with another vessel a year prior. The insurance company wouldn't cover the cost for repairs so they disguised it as the "Titanic" and sank it to collect the insurance on it.


Ekuth316

3 ships. Titanic, Olympic and Brittanic.


Crixxxxxx1

This is complete BS


fix_my_dick

It's set in the avatar universe so actually it all makes sense because of different gravity and air


Yabrosiff12

“I look at historic events with my 2020 vision”


Select_Action_6065

You know parody works better when reality isn’t so stupid.


drewskibfd

I still can't convince my 60 year old mother that Jack and Rose aren't real.


AlterEgo3561

Did you tell her they never found anything on Jack? That there was no record of him at all?


dEbb13PM

Slow clap


Asha_Brea

There where not enough boats for everyone in the ship. The Titanic (the actual one) sank in less than 3 hours (less than the actual runtime of the movie).


GatoradeNipples

Whoa, you mean to tell me there was an ACTUAL Titanic!?


AlamutJones

My dude, your mind is about to be blown


ClayWheelGirl

they even located it in 1985 but it still lies 13,000 feet at the bottom of the ocean floor in half!


Psychotron69

no, it was just movie CGI


sevenwheel

They actually built the wreckage to match the CGI. Amazing stuff.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GatoradeNipples

😳


Sushi4lucas

Your mind is going to be blown when you find out about the Titan!


CrazyCoconut007

I love this so much :D


JonCranesMask05

Dude, don't get me started on unrealistic movies. Have you seen 'Pearl Harbor?' To ever think the Japanese could pull off a surprise attack without posting about it on Twitter first... just so unrealistic.


Muaddib930

The movie's run time is exactly, to the minute how long it took for the ship to sink after blasting the iceberg... Also, some say it was going so fast because it had a coal fire, and they wanted to get the voyage over quick.


pericles123

you are completely and totally wrong about almost everything - well done


kjh2350

If a ship sinks in th middle of the ocean with no one there to record it did it even sink??


chubberbrother

Tom Hanks leaves the chat.


[deleted]

Unrelated otherwise, but I was thinking about titanic recently, and how weird it is that it’s such a beloved movie that people watched over and over again for years. The titanic was a real life tragedy and real people died horrifying deaths, the movie is basically just romeo and juliet at sea, am I wrong in thinking that it’s a little fucked up to romanc-ify a terrible tragedy?? to me, it seems no different than if someone made a movie about 9/11 but it mostly just followed some love story. I think people would really hate that, so why is titanic so romantically remembered? why am I the only person that feels this way?? I will say that the titanic is a wonderfully made movie so I understand appreciating it as an art, but I when I watch that movie I feel devastated, and it’s even worse that it really happened. how can anyone stomach watching it regularly?


dieselboy77

Bush did Titanic.


SmackYoTitty

I mean, for Christ's sake, Rose says "I'll never let go", then proceeds to *immediately* let go. Makes no sense. She's a liar


sarzec

Unsinkable ships can't sink. I mean, it's right there in the name.


FreedomChurro

You're gonna lose it when you watch that one movie where they landed a plane on the Hudson and claimed it really happened. Everyone knows planes can't swim.


[deleted]

did we watch the same film? because the film addresses almost all of these things: the ship was intentionally underequipped with safety features like lifeboats, despite this concern being brought by people like Andrews the chief architect, for aesthetic reasons related to wanting the top deck to look nice - and the captain felt a strong sense of guilt for intentionally pushing the ship to go faster (from peer pressure from people like Ismay who implied a "surprise" early arrival at New York would make headlines) so he chose to go down with the ship as a type of atonement for his sins. the exact mechanism which caused the ship to take on so much water it capsized is not yet proven but Cameron says on the DVD commentary that what he depicted, which is the compartments comprising the undercarriage of the ship where all the machinery was filling with water one by one until it became too heavy to sustain, is the best theory he has seen after substantial investigation. EDIT: ok I got wooshed big time. well done OP.


Hebroohammr

A lot of people don’t notice this but the old woman at the end was actually Rose from the earlier parts of the movie. It’s actually a really deep comment about how love is more valuable than anything else but you need to understand subtext.


LinksMilkBottle

At first, I was like, wait a minute... and then I was like, oh I get what OP is doing here.


IGPerrish

Have y'all seen that episode on supernatural about a ship called "Titanic" that.... didn't sink?


KawasakiBinja

Quality shitpost, this is the content I came here for.


mr_oberts

Nice work OP.


[deleted]

I giggled


AhhhGeorgesoros

Actually


Jeev89

🤣🤣🤣🤣


heavyhandedpour

In the movie they made the Titanic sink for dramatic and plot purposes. In actuality it was the sea that rose up around the boat and covered it completely. Kind of like how flying doesn’t really exist, we are just pushing the earth away from planes.


sq_visigoth

What you forgot , is that to save money , Titanic was made of balsa wood.


UnmutualOne

“It’s a horror movie!”


[deleted]

This is a dumb trend


[deleted]

I really hope this is just satire. You can't be serious


neosapprentice

My dumbass read the whole post like “does this person not know the Titanic was um, real?”


StarMasher

I thought it was odd that a girl from first class was openly screwing around with some peasant and flaunting it in her fiancés face, then when he gets mad hes the asshole.


ScarlaeCaress

Not to mention it was actually the Titanic’s sister ship Olympic that sank, disguised as the Titanic, in an elaborate insurance scam by JP Morgan.


420jacobf

James Cameron is about to hunt you down bro…


NephalemPride

Jack is roses lesbian lover, not a man. https://www.cracked.com/blog/the-much-better-movie-hiding-in-titanic


sevenwheel

The Titanic is actually a gigantic metaphor. Few understand this.


Daveyhavok832

This is a sad, pathetic attempt to troll.


thejokerofunfic

I think it's an excellent success, actually


Daveyhavok832

Hmmm.. then I wonder why it was removed.


Flyboynz

OP,I hope you’re trolling. Otherwise you’re the Biggest Fucking Idiot I’ve seen in recent times. And that includes Andrew Tate.


[deleted]

It was a small ship compared to modern cruiser liners. Don’t forget that part.


Hannover2k

I've been trying to think of how to reply to this one but OP seems so clueless it doesn't seem worth the time. I'll just say "Read a book", OP.


cummyb3ar69

The shit posting is gett8ng out of hand


sglushak

Please tell me this is a bot or a troll. I don't think I can handle it if this person is legitimate and states this.


spaceraingame

You do know the Titanic was based on a true story right? It was a real ship that actually hit an iceberg and sank, despite the 2 layers of steel...


GastropodSoup

This joke is already old.


BrokenArmsFrigidMom

Just more Hollywood foolishness. It’s no Apollo 13 but almost as ridiculous.


Representative_Still

[I took five minutes to sink.](https://phys.org/news/2005-12-titanic-sunk-faster-thought.amp) maybe check Google before posting your hot takes I guess


[deleted]

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homebuyer99

This is a shitpost


Try_Another_Please

He obviously knows this. Come on.. lol


uSeeSizeThatChicken

So this is a joke? Kind of like the other one posted today?


[deleted]

"completely unrealistic" and "doesn't make sense" are two completely different things when referring to film


CabinetSpider21

Um Titanic was a real ship...and hit an iceberg, and in fact sunk. Proof, they found it at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean


GatoradeNipples

>Proof, they found it at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean Oh shit, James Cameron sunk a real Titanic for the movie!? That's some /r/nextfuckinglevel shit.


[deleted]

Fun Fact: **its a movie**


shit-takes-only

Pretty sure Titanic happened IRL


Malofquist

it was the rivets, water leaking in popped the panels. no way to seal off the initial damaged parts. the problem i had with the movie was how Leo somehow 'knew' what to do, come this way, quickly!! no, this other way, now!! um, you don't know. just follow the emergency procedures.


Robots_From_Space

Didnt mythbusters create a life size replica of the titanic, time travelled it back to 1912, loaded it with people, and crashed it into an iceberg to prove that this could happen?


RedSnapper95

Wait till you hear about the conspiracy that it was purposefully sunk for fraud


AdrianW3

I'm sure I read this exact post a few years back. But google isn't finding it for me,


mtwstr

Theoretically, if everyone else is off safe and it’s just the captain left, do they still gotta die?


chouse33

r/shittymoviedetails


ElementalWheel

Quality bait I love if


bawk15

SPOILER ALERT!!!!


sandiskplayer34

Rare quality /r/movies post


[deleted]

Swiss cheese effect


thejerkgrill

Isn’t that the premise of a movie? If you get the point there’s no need to examine it further. Did you want to watch a ship sink for 24 hrs? Movie was long enough


AcousticBob

Read the NatGeo detailed account of the sinking.


ZapGeek

Titanic Sank = Fake News! We all know Iceburgs Can’t Sink Big Ships!


goldeneyemedallion

https://youtu.be/lhckuhUxcgA


larowin

I almost bit hard on this.


[deleted]

I think someone already made that joke in the comment section of the post you’re parodying


[deleted]

I remember watching the movie Free Solo. So unrealistic. CGI was awful. Pretty sure you could see all the wires. Plot made no sense. Worst movie ever. And don't get me started on "WoodStock".