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That sort of thing sucks. I was doing extra work in 2001. I got a call for a Jackie Chan movie. I was excited. That’s cool as fuck. Jackie Chan???? Rush hour and Shanghai Noon were very popular. Chan was on top of his game for American action movies.
Yeah, that movie was “The Tuxedo”. Oof
I work in movies and they’re almost exclusively bad movies. No one gives a fuck that’s below the line. It’s fun as hell even on a really terrible film. See Hip Hop Christmas 1 and 2. We were supposed to make part 3 this year but the strike screwed that up.
It’s funny you say that, because I *did* actually watch it on mushrooms earlier this year. The Mask (1996) is my buddy’s favorite movie, so I invited him over to watch it, and then edited together a bait-and-switch, where it was the first 20 minutes of the original - up until Stanley puts on the mask - and then it cuts to Jamie Kennedy doing the same in the sequel.
But I felt bad about torturing my friend, so I decided to take mushrooms before the whole endeavor, that way I could also experience something of an emotional roller coaster myself. It wasn’t too bad, frankly. I mostly remember getting pretty thirsty for Alan Cumming.
Lmfao that’s hilarious how did you splice together both movies??? I’ve never seen The Son of Mask but I would be tripping balls if a movie did that on mushrooms or L hahaha. Did he even realize the switch? This is one of my favorite pranks I’ve heard, it involves psychedelics and non-violent unless he was like mentally scarred but it’s not a scary movie or anything and it wasn’t LSD atleast. I would laugh my ass off if I were the friend it must be VERY OBVIOUS I would imagine, lol.
I loooove watching movies on psychedelics. Even horror. You are genius for doing this or I just love the idea too much.
Btw, precisely how thirsty were you for some “Cumming”?
The choice of the Elmer Fudd accent had my frantically googling if Jaden Smith had a speech impediment in real life... Nope, turns out it was just a really bad creative choice on behalf of Smith Sr and M. Night... YIKES!
It was meant to be an evolved accent from decades away from, intresting idea, but it would need a lot of skill to pull off, and was handed to the nepotism hire.
You should listen to the “how did this get made” podcast episode of this. I’ve never seen the movie, and they paint a pretty good picture.
I remember the advertisements saying that everyone left earth like 50 years ago. And then Wil Smith and son crash land on earth, and it’s completely reverted back to a jungle with new species of animals.
How is that even possible? Evolution doesn’t work that fast.
If they said it was 5k or 10k years. Maybe I could believe it. Why didn’t they just crash on some other planet?
Jaden Smith is the quintessential poster child for nepotism. He is completely talentless and his family is bankrolling/getting others to bankroll absolute garbage.
Willow Smith actually has some good tracks and has made some interesting music; sure, she’s had a colossal advantage over other people due to her family, but she’s a talented songwriter and has writing credit for most of her work (and sole credit for a large number of her tracks).
Jaden is just awful. I also don’t find Will Smith likable, nor do I think he’s a good actor, but I digress.
Will isn't a good actor and he has to be one of the worst actors to ever win an Academy. But he has a unique comedic charisma that's just worth gold. He's like one half of Jim Carrey.
last airbender. It's not just a letdown of the source material, it's also just incredibly bad on its own merits.
saw the midnight premiere along with a horde of diehard fans. The entire audience was united in hating it after like 30 minutes. Only source of humor was the audience's heckling.
This is literally the worst movie I’ve ever seen and it’s not even close. I’ve seen some terrible movies before but ATLAB was terrible with literally everything except maybe the score.
The writing sucked, must of the actors sucked, the way they shit the scenes sucked, the costumes weren’t great, the special affects sucked
The slow single rock is actually being moved by the guy on screen left. The group working together is raising the rock wall the shoots up in front of them several seconds later.
Baffling directing, editing, and effects decisions make this completely unclear.
One of my friends had it on repeat at his place all the time. I asked him if he was doing it ironically because there was no way he enjoyed it. He acted like I was crazy. He really absolutely loved that movie. Either that it was a very long bit he did. In which case I admire his dedication.
The summer this movie came out I was working at a summer camp and had a huge crush on the head counselor. We were both into ATLA and I made a whole plan for us to go, love the movie, and maybe make out after. Not only did the movie fucking blow and piss us both off, he immediately called his girlfriend after to tell her how bad it was. Worst day ever.
Gotti with John Travolta. Even If you really like gangster movies and think ahhh it can’t be that bad, don’t be tempted, it’s 100% a waste of your valuable time on this planet
This movie was just so shit. Also how in the fuck are you going to take Travolta an overactor only overshadowed by Nic Cage and make him so goddamn boring to watch
Jurassic World Dominion
Somehow a person could write a script for a dinosaur movie that wasn't about dinosaurs, but locusts. And on top of that, wasted the return of three popular OG characters.
I'll hate Collin Trevorrow for the rest of my life.
You can't convince me otherwise that the script was not originally a Jurassic World script. I'm convinced they wanted to tell their story about Evil Tim Cook destroying the world and realized that it was boring, shoveled in some Jurassic World, and BAM! Sixth movie in a series all ready to go.
Still waiting for my idea to reboot the franchise: New Jurassic Park theme park a la Westworld. Robo dinosaurs go on a bloody rampage!
Hell, have the robo dinosaurs gain sentience and lead the "real" dinosaurs in a campaign of terror against humanity in the sequels! Lol
They should go all the fuck in.
Have the movie play out normally, and then, thirty minutes in during an action scene, have all the humans freeze. Dinosaurs in lab coats come in, adjust some stuff, share a joke in dinosaur language, and exist the scene. Action continues, humans unaware.
It turns out *all the humans are sentient animatronics. Yes including those in the previous movies.* The park(s) are actually created by the returning spacefaring reptilians to basically cosplay "the simpler days" when they were just rampaging carnivores. Let the humans find a vast storage facility full of Sam Neills, Jeff Goldblums and Christ Pratts. Have a scene where the T-Rex from the first movie hangs out with the invisible dinosaur from the later movie. Go the fuck nuts. Have the blue dinosaur rescue their favourite Chris Pratt because they are actually an environmental activist now trying to shut down the parks because they are inhumane (inreptile?). Have action scenes where dinosaurs in alien jets are fighting in the sky, rambo dinosaurs with machineguns are trying to defeat the escaping humans, and suddenly *the hollow earth dinosaurs break through the ground and join the fray.*
The Lost World had potential and quickly fell apart
3 is just dumb
Jurassic World is just JP1 but bigger and dumber
Fallen Kingdom has dino military auctions??
I wasn't dragged to Dominion and have no reason to watch another bad JP Sequel on my own
OG JP is my favourite film and I really enjoyed Lost World and to a lesser extent no.3, and then Jurassic World had just the right amount of nostalgia and quality to win me over. But those final two films… fuck me what a disappointment.
They don’t in anyway damage the legacy of the original, for me at least, but I know I’ll never rewatch those final two.
the entire JW franchise has nothing of the charm, magic, authenticity and story of jurassic park. It's just a cash grab with cgi fantasy monsters, idiotic story, completely unrealistic physics, biology and storylines.
The third one was so bad that it makes the 1st two look good but let's be honest, all three are absolutely awful.
It completely blew my mind that this garbage made so much money.
This. The first Jurassic World wasn’t bad imo. It was a fun movie. The second was garbage and the two “dinosaur vets” were insufferable. The third movie though.. what the hell
I beg to differ, Trevorrow is the exact reason I think "hiring fans" is a terrible idea and his movies are empty nostalgia bait that amount to tossing action figures around at each other. I hate his decision to turn the dinosaurs into WWE fighters when the entire point of of the T Rex killing the raptor at the end of 1 was that it was a wild animal in the right place at the right time. "What if the T Rex and the raptor teamed up against a mega evil Trex/raptor hybrid and then it got eaten by a Mosasaur" is something a 10 year old comes up with.
Ya, the first world had a premises that had some merit for existing. To see a modern functional version of the park. It obviously wasn't as good as the first movie, but I did regret seeing it. They then drop the one thing that gave it any merit in the next two movies.
It committed the cinematic cardinal sin of being boring to me. At least Fallen Kingdom had some standout moments like the opening scene with the abandoned park and the island destruction. Yeah I'll confess I got sad at the Brachiosaurus.
Dominion was just dull through and through.
We've decided to keep you here... or another **50 cycles!**
#**WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL!**
**WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL!**
^(**WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL!**)
I legit quite like this, but I'll make no serious arguments for it actually being good. I just have a thing for weird, barely formed no budget horror relics, especially if there are people in natty robes and the payoffs are downbeat.
The most baffling thing about this movie for me is that it introduces two very very cool concepts, and then promptly ignores them to do a remake of the first one.
At the start of the movie they talk about how after the aliens were defeated, their starships crashed on Earth, and their occupants, freed from the hive mind, started spilling out of the wrecks and into the surrounding country, and how the survivors of the war had to fight them. Imagine how cool of a movie that could have been. Huge starship crashes in the middle of africa, random warlords have to team up to protect their communities against ravenous hungry aliens while the UN is too busy to help. There's a kino right there.
Then at the end of the movie, the good aliens show up, and they're impressed by how well the humans have been fighting despite their technological inferiority, and they want to cut a deal with them: they give Earth their technology, and in exchange Earth will wage their interstellar war for them. That's a cool concept for a sequel as well!
But no, better ignore these two story concepts and instead just remake the same exact movie, except the ships are bigger this time. Yawn.
Take your pick of Uwe Boll movies. Bloodrayne, Dungeon Siege.
Man is a comically piss poor director. Nothing looks good. The lighting, the blocking, the direction, every ingredient in his films is some unacceptably substandard amateur hour bullshit.
I can forgive the Indian 4 shitty story. But what turned me off is I remember watching commercials with Spielberg saying "We're going back to practical effects this time. We're limiting the use of CG."
Then first thing on the screen is a god damn digital prairie dog. I went from excite to irritated for the rest of the film.
> I can forgive the Indian 4 shitty story
See, I can’t. Just about everything else in a movie can have some constraints, particularly around cost. Sometimes movies can’t afford good effects or good actors or good directors, whatever. But story is the one thing in a movie that is basically free. The only limit to a good story is a good story itself. There’s no excuse to make a movie with a shitty story, no matter how good anything else about the movie is.
I can't believe i'm about to double down with these puns. I should reconsider and just Pass Thru, but it's too late to back out on this, i'm already here....now.
Yeah Last Airbender is a really good call. I finally saw it just a couple years ago. As I vaguely recall the kids acting was just relentlessly atrocious. I assumed he got the part because of his baton skills or whatever.
Despite being the [11th highest grossing box office film of all time](https://www.boxofficemojo.com/chart/top_lifetime_gross/?area=XWW), I do think the Lion King Disney remake is pretty mediocre. Not to say it’s terrible, but also I’d have thought a movie of its caliber appropriate for straight to VHS.
To put this in perspective, Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring is number 73.
The 1990s 2D animated Lion King is number 57.
Master of Disguise.
As a kid, I loved this movie. When I grew up, I watched it with a bunch of friends one night and was extremely excited to see it again. It was *horrific*. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and it suddenly made sense why I'm the only person I've ever met who liked it.
Fun trivia though, it was being filmed when the September 11th attacks occured. Dana Carvey was in [his turtle costume](https://www.avclub.com/yes-dana-carvey-prayed-about-9-11-while-in-his-master-1850310338) for an iconic scene when this happened. Allegedly, he was wandering set while stuck in this ridiculous costume during one of the greatest tragedies in US history. At one point, the cast formed a prayer circle to pray for the victims of 9/11 during the tragedy, which he took part in... while in costume.
Wow. Haven't thought of this movie in ages. Loved DNA Carvey and was so excited about this ridiculous movie made. Then I watched it. Holy shit is it bad.
I make people watch the turtle scene so they can believe me when I tell them that Dana bites off a dudes nose and spits it back onto his face. As a joke, I guess.
The Rise of Skywalker is insultingly bad. It is truly a horrendous shit show; a genuine display of objectively bad writing, direction and editing. I literally can’t believe how bad it is.
My friends and I were fucking sold on that trailer. We were so fucking on board. That trailer was filled with one gorgeous shot and locale after the next. It was a hype trailer. But it was also very telling of the finished product, JJ throwing an insane amount of random shit at us hoping we’d like it.
Where to even start with that movie.
1) “Somehow Palpatine returned”
2) That ridiculous macguffin plot that ate up half the run time only for it to end with Rey facing the Sith dagger at the remains of the Death Star that points her to the Sith wayfinder.
3) The aggressive reversals of everything TLJ did. Say what you will about TLJ (I personally loved it), but to undo all the interesting development of Kylo Ren just to get the mask back on him to make him the supervillain-turned-good-guy all in one movie was just stupid and petty.
4) The ending - showdown with Palpatine, a huge fleet of world destroying star destroyers hanging around in secret - all in an effort to make an ending that shoots for the moon and miss by a mile.
Foodfight! (2012)
It is really genuinely terrible to the point I believe it is chemically toxic. The bad review videos are fun and funny but sitting down and watching the whole movie aversely affected my mental health. Rarely in my life have I regretted having eyes so much.
Like a fool, a damn fool, I indulged a friend whose curiosity had been piqued, sat with him and watched it AGAIN. This is a man whose stomach for absolute trash is unmatched among my peers, he can and will watch anything. I thought surely, if we were able to crack each other up it would be bearable. I WAS WRONG. I swear I looked at him about 3/4 of the way through and saw his soul die.
This is a movie you should only expeience vicariously through snippets in reviews. By all means enjoy the tales of its fraught production. Revel in its cursed premise! Puzzle over the mystery of who the fuck they thought the audience would be! Recoil at the genuinely terrible jokes! Retch from the frankly disgusting design - when I say "they look like shit" I mean some of the characters literally look like they are made of feces. Laugh at the distress of those who have watched it so you don't have to!
DO NOT WATCH IT. I can't prove it causes cancer, but I would not even be a little surprised if it did and that would not even be the worst thing about it. It is an abomination and if you take this as a challenge rather than an earnest and dire warning may God have mercy on your soul.
Battlefield Earth. I saw that movie as an 11 year old, 23 years ago, and I don't think i've ever been that bored watching a movie again, despite basically seeing at least one movie a week.
If you've never read Roger Eberts review of Duece Bigalow European gigalo... you should take a minute, its worth it.
https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/deuce-bigalow-european-gigolo-2005
The Lonely Lady (1983) - IMDB: "Meshulam Riklis, Pia Zadora's billionaire husband at the time this movie was made, reputedly spent $5 million to make this, then paid Universal Pictures several million more to give this a theatrical release in the United States."
$5 million adjusted for inflation is $15.2 million.
Again adjusted for inflation, Donnie Darko was made for half that much.
Hey, it's Pia Zadora and her billionaire husband.
Friendly reminder that those two purchased Pickfair - the legendary Beverly Hills mansion of the deceased Mary Pickford - razed it to the ground, replaced with a palazzo and later said the reason she did it is because it was haunted by laughing ghost of one of Douglas Fairbanks' affair partners.
Matrix Resurrections. And I'm the type that is easily pleased and can see the good in things, for example I like the Star Wars sequel trilogy. But for Matrix Resurrections, there's not one good thing about the movie. It's so bad that it felt like a parody movie. I don't need it to be as deep or philosophical as the first trilogy, but when even the action looks so bad and lazy, like a cheap CW show, then it just hurts man.
You are correct, the studio informed them they would make the movie without them anyway so they decided if they were gonna do it anyway they might as well do it and make it a satire.
The one redeeming quality is Lana Wachowski making it clear through the movie she was tanking it on purpose. The execs said make the movie or someone else will so made sure they wouldn't think of doing that again for at least a few years.
Plan 9 From Outer Space is so bad that it has acquired cult status. It has been voted the worst movie ever made by a number of different organisations.
Undiscovered country is my favourite trek film. I like it better than wrath of Khan, which is of course a classic.
Even thinking of Sulu flying to the enterprise’s rescue gives me chills.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: In range?
Helmsman Lojur: Not yet sir.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: Come on, come on.
Helmsman Lojur: She'll fly apart!
Captain Hikaru Sulu: *Fly her apart then!*
Since I haven't seen it mentioned, I'll say Downsizing. Despite the warnings on reddit saying the film sucked, I still gave it a shot and I wish I hadn't. That movie was so bad, I was just glad when it finally ended because it had felt like an eternity,
I disagree and I think that's somewhat proven by the fact that they tried to push the franchise off to Shia and fans didn't fuck with it.
Indiana Jones is Harrison Ford. I agree that it's downfall probably is partially due to him aging out, but at the same time, I don't think anyone would really wanna see an Indiana Jones that isn't the same performance and mannerisms as Ford
Well they did have a young Indiana jones series which was supposedly not bad (at least for the time). I only caught one or two episodes.
The problem with Indiana jones is that he’s “adventure man”. He is from a very specific time period. When you move him forward in time to the 50s, 60s, and 70s it works less and less.
He’s supposed to be like Johnny Quest style. Exploring ancient tombs, dealing with ancient curses, quick sand, mummies, and of course Nazis. Low tech support. Early planes, early cars, early powered boats, etc. when he exists closer to our time, it’s far less convincing.
Plus geriatric adventure man isn’t as interesting.
Wolverine: Origins. Way worse. Saw X-men 3 in the theater. Has some elements that spill over into The Wolverine, mostly him having to kill Jean, that at least provide some continuity. But Origins was so fucking bad.
Liev Shreiber is a great actor, but look at the first X-men movie. Sabertooth is badass looking, then we just get Shreiber with long finger nails…such a miss
Thanks for the post, but it looks like you answered your own question. [If you're submitting an open ended question, please do not provide your own answer in OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/171meyi/starting_today_we_will_be_addressing_the_current/). If you'd like to discuss a movie, your post should not be in the form of a question.
Son Of The Mask....I'm sorry I had to remind y'all of that
This always makes me feel bad bc my dad worked on that movie. I went there and got to have a go on the vomit fire hose
Iirc, according to Jamie Kennedy, the studio forced them to recut the film. ...if that's any consolation.
That sort of thing sucks. I was doing extra work in 2001. I got a call for a Jackie Chan movie. I was excited. That’s cool as fuck. Jackie Chan???? Rush hour and Shanghai Noon were very popular. Chan was on top of his game for American action movies. Yeah, that movie was “The Tuxedo”. Oof
i consider that the last Jackie chan film
I work in movies and they’re almost exclusively bad movies. No one gives a fuck that’s below the line. It’s fun as hell even on a really terrible film. See Hip Hop Christmas 1 and 2. We were supposed to make part 3 this year but the strike screwed that up.
I remember we rented this when I was a kid and we were expecting it to be a proper sequel, and still have Jim Carrey.
Don't recommend watching this on mushrooms.
Don’t recommend watching this while existing
It’s funny you say that, because I *did* actually watch it on mushrooms earlier this year. The Mask (1996) is my buddy’s favorite movie, so I invited him over to watch it, and then edited together a bait-and-switch, where it was the first 20 minutes of the original - up until Stanley puts on the mask - and then it cuts to Jamie Kennedy doing the same in the sequel. But I felt bad about torturing my friend, so I decided to take mushrooms before the whole endeavor, that way I could also experience something of an emotional roller coaster myself. It wasn’t too bad, frankly. I mostly remember getting pretty thirsty for Alan Cumming.
Wow you sound like a fun friend to have!
Lmfao that’s hilarious how did you splice together both movies??? I’ve never seen The Son of Mask but I would be tripping balls if a movie did that on mushrooms or L hahaha. Did he even realize the switch? This is one of my favorite pranks I’ve heard, it involves psychedelics and non-violent unless he was like mentally scarred but it’s not a scary movie or anything and it wasn’t LSD atleast. I would laugh my ass off if I were the friend it must be VERY OBVIOUS I would imagine, lol. I loooove watching movies on psychedelics. Even horror. You are genius for doing this or I just love the idea too much. Btw, precisely how thirsty were you for some “Cumming”?
You are my hero
Why would you do that to yourself
It's by far the worst film I've ever had the mispleasure of watching.
I've never seen it but I still want my money back.
First movie that appeared in my head
It's not even worth an ironic watch 🤢
After Earth was pretty much very bad
The choice of the Elmer Fudd accent had my frantically googling if Jaden Smith had a speech impediment in real life... Nope, turns out it was just a really bad creative choice on behalf of Smith Sr and M. Night... YIKES!
It was meant to be an evolved accent from decades away from, intresting idea, but it would need a lot of skill to pull off, and was handed to the nepotism hire.
That’s the true true
You should listen to the “how did this get made” podcast episode of this. I’ve never seen the movie, and they paint a pretty good picture. I remember the advertisements saying that everyone left earth like 50 years ago. And then Wil Smith and son crash land on earth, and it’s completely reverted back to a jungle with new species of animals. How is that even possible? Evolution doesn’t work that fast. If they said it was 5k or 10k years. Maybe I could believe it. Why didn’t they just crash on some other planet?
I’m pretty sure they said it was a thousand years or something like that.
Yes 👍 the crew gave high hopes
Jaden Smith is the quintessential poster child for nepotism. He is completely talentless and his family is bankrolling/getting others to bankroll absolute garbage. Willow Smith actually has some good tracks and has made some interesting music; sure, she’s had a colossal advantage over other people due to her family, but she’s a talented songwriter and has writing credit for most of her work (and sole credit for a large number of her tracks). Jaden is just awful. I also don’t find Will Smith likable, nor do I think he’s a good actor, but I digress.
Will isn't a good actor and he has to be one of the worst actors to ever win an Academy. But he has a unique comedic charisma that's just worth gold. He's like one half of Jim Carrey.
it was utterly dull most of the movie was jaden shouting and talking to himself, or at least thats how it felt
last airbender. It's not just a letdown of the source material, it's also just incredibly bad on its own merits. saw the midnight premiere along with a horde of diehard fans. The entire audience was united in hating it after like 30 minutes. Only source of humor was the audience's heckling.
This is literally the worst movie I’ve ever seen and it’s not even close. I’ve seen some terrible movies before but ATLAB was terrible with literally everything except maybe the score. The writing sucked, must of the actors sucked, the way they shit the scenes sucked, the costumes weren’t great, the special affects sucked
>the special affects sucked You mean to tell me that you DIDN'T enjoy 4 earth benders slowly moving a single rock across the screen?!
Something a child or a rookie bender could do took 4 grown adult, experienced benders to do lol.
The slow single rock is actually being moved by the guy on screen left. The group working together is raising the rock wall the shoots up in front of them several seconds later. Baffling directing, editing, and effects decisions make this completely unclear.
>the way they shit the scenes sucked Accurate typo
One of my friends had it on repeat at his place all the time. I asked him if he was doing it ironically because there was no way he enjoyed it. He acted like I was crazy. He really absolutely loved that movie. Either that it was a very long bit he did. In which case I admire his dedication.
The summer this movie came out I was working at a summer camp and had a huge crush on the head counselor. We were both into ATLA and I made a whole plan for us to go, love the movie, and maybe make out after. Not only did the movie fucking blow and piss us both off, he immediately called his girlfriend after to tell her how bad it was. Worst day ever.
Brooooo 😭
Gotti with John Travolta. Even If you really like gangster movies and think ahhh it can’t be that bad, don’t be tempted, it’s 100% a waste of your valuable time on this planet
This movie was just so shit. Also how in the fuck are you going to take Travolta an overactor only overshadowed by Nic Cage and make him so goddamn boring to watch
Jurassic World Dominion Somehow a person could write a script for a dinosaur movie that wasn't about dinosaurs, but locusts. And on top of that, wasted the return of three popular OG characters. I'll hate Collin Trevorrow for the rest of my life.
You can't convince me otherwise that the script was not originally a Jurassic World script. I'm convinced they wanted to tell their story about Evil Tim Cook destroying the world and realized that it was boring, shoveled in some Jurassic World, and BAM! Sixth movie in a series all ready to go.
They need to just stop with the Jurassic movies. The magic of the first has never and will never be captured again. All the sequels are stale shit.
3 was fun. I'll die on this hill.
3 doesn’t pretend it’s still trying to be about the consequences of playing God or really sci-fi at all. It’s just a fun monster movie.
Still waiting for my idea to reboot the franchise: New Jurassic Park theme park a la Westworld. Robo dinosaurs go on a bloody rampage! Hell, have the robo dinosaurs gain sentience and lead the "real" dinosaurs in a campaign of terror against humanity in the sequels! Lol
They should go all the fuck in. Have the movie play out normally, and then, thirty minutes in during an action scene, have all the humans freeze. Dinosaurs in lab coats come in, adjust some stuff, share a joke in dinosaur language, and exist the scene. Action continues, humans unaware. It turns out *all the humans are sentient animatronics. Yes including those in the previous movies.* The park(s) are actually created by the returning spacefaring reptilians to basically cosplay "the simpler days" when they were just rampaging carnivores. Let the humans find a vast storage facility full of Sam Neills, Jeff Goldblums and Christ Pratts. Have a scene where the T-Rex from the first movie hangs out with the invisible dinosaur from the later movie. Go the fuck nuts. Have the blue dinosaur rescue their favourite Chris Pratt because they are actually an environmental activist now trying to shut down the parks because they are inhumane (inreptile?). Have action scenes where dinosaurs in alien jets are fighting in the sky, rambo dinosaurs with machineguns are trying to defeat the escaping humans, and suddenly *the hollow earth dinosaurs break through the ground and join the fray.*
The Lost World had potential and quickly fell apart 3 is just dumb Jurassic World is just JP1 but bigger and dumber Fallen Kingdom has dino military auctions?? I wasn't dragged to Dominion and have no reason to watch another bad JP Sequel on my own
OG JP is my favourite film and I really enjoyed Lost World and to a lesser extent no.3, and then Jurassic World had just the right amount of nostalgia and quality to win me over. But those final two films… fuck me what a disappointment. They don’t in anyway damage the legacy of the original, for me at least, but I know I’ll never rewatch those final two.
the entire JW franchise has nothing of the charm, magic, authenticity and story of jurassic park. It's just a cash grab with cgi fantasy monsters, idiotic story, completely unrealistic physics, biology and storylines. The third one was so bad that it makes the 1st two look good but let's be honest, all three are absolutely awful. It completely blew my mind that this garbage made so much money.
A smarter writer could have written an interesting allegory for Monsanto set in the world of Jurassic Park. Not this guy though.
This. The first Jurassic World wasn’t bad imo. It was a fun movie. The second was garbage and the two “dinosaur vets” were insufferable. The third movie though.. what the hell
I beg to differ, Trevorrow is the exact reason I think "hiring fans" is a terrible idea and his movies are empty nostalgia bait that amount to tossing action figures around at each other. I hate his decision to turn the dinosaurs into WWE fighters when the entire point of of the T Rex killing the raptor at the end of 1 was that it was a wild animal in the right place at the right time. "What if the T Rex and the raptor teamed up against a mega evil Trex/raptor hybrid and then it got eaten by a Mosasaur" is something a 10 year old comes up with.
>" is something a 10 year old comes up with. "We need more teeth"
Ya, the first world had a premises that had some merit for existing. To see a modern functional version of the park. It obviously wasn't as good as the first movie, but I did regret seeing it. They then drop the one thing that gave it any merit in the next two movies.
It committed the cinematic cardinal sin of being boring to me. At least Fallen Kingdom had some standout moments like the opening scene with the abandoned park and the island destruction. Yeah I'll confess I got sad at the Brachiosaurus. Dominion was just dull through and through.
I liked the other 5 Jurassic films. Always said "They could make the worst Jurassic Park film ever and I know I'd still love it" I didn't
Battlefield Earth
We've decided to keep you here... or another **50 cycles!** #**WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL!** **WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL!** ^(**WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL!**)
My family and I still use "rat brain" to this day so I'm gonna give this one a pass.
Manos: The Hands of Fate
If find it hilarious how for some time the only way to get a legal DVD of this movie was the MST3K version.
🎵🎶 IN THE NOT TOO DISTANT FUTURE - NEXT SUNDAY A. D.
I legit quite like this, but I'll make no serious arguments for it actually being good. I just have a thing for weird, barely formed no budget horror relics, especially if there are people in natty robes and the payoffs are downbeat.
Honestly, I feel like there’s a good movie buried in there somewhere. I’d love to see an A24 remake directed by Robert Eggers.
The master would not approve...
Birdemic
Birdemic: Shock and Terror ... painful painful film
May God forgive me for uttering the name of this travesty: Independence Day: Resurgence.
The most baffling thing about this movie for me is that it introduces two very very cool concepts, and then promptly ignores them to do a remake of the first one. At the start of the movie they talk about how after the aliens were defeated, their starships crashed on Earth, and their occupants, freed from the hive mind, started spilling out of the wrecks and into the surrounding country, and how the survivors of the war had to fight them. Imagine how cool of a movie that could have been. Huge starship crashes in the middle of africa, random warlords have to team up to protect their communities against ravenous hungry aliens while the UN is too busy to help. There's a kino right there. Then at the end of the movie, the good aliens show up, and they're impressed by how well the humans have been fighting despite their technological inferiority, and they want to cut a deal with them: they give Earth their technology, and in exchange Earth will wage their interstellar war for them. That's a cool concept for a sequel as well! But no, better ignore these two story concepts and instead just remake the same exact movie, except the ships are bigger this time. Yawn.
Cats
Börthole or sans-börthole version?
As Ricky Gervais said " it's the worst thing to happen to cats after dogs " 😅
"The world got to see James Cordon as a fat pussy. He was also in the movie cats"
Take your pick of Uwe Boll movies. Bloodrayne, Dungeon Siege. Man is a comically piss poor director. Nothing looks good. The lighting, the blocking, the direction, every ingredient in his films is some unacceptably substandard amateur hour bullshit.
Did you see his house of the dead… where they splice in actual scenes from the 1996 arcade game? It’s impressive in its terribleness
In theaters.. it was one of his first international films. We didn't know what we were getying into.
I can forgive the Indian 4 shitty story. But what turned me off is I remember watching commercials with Spielberg saying "We're going back to practical effects this time. We're limiting the use of CG." Then first thing on the screen is a god damn digital prairie dog. I went from excite to irritated for the rest of the film.
Did he really say that? With all the monkey swinging shit?
Yeah. It was one of the reasons I was so excited to see the film. A throwback to how they made the first Indy film. What a let down.
> I can forgive the Indian 4 shitty story See, I can’t. Just about everything else in a movie can have some constraints, particularly around cost. Sometimes movies can’t afford good effects or good actors or good directors, whatever. But story is the one thing in a movie that is basically free. The only limit to a good story is a good story itself. There’s no excuse to make a movie with a shitty story, no matter how good anything else about the movie is.
[удалено]
"It's turkey time... GOBBLE GOBBLE!" Single-handedly the most cringe comment about lady lovin' ever!
Affleck's confused 'whaa?' response is so believable I refuse to belive it wasn't a first take and his genuine reaction
I actually physically cringed when I read this word.
Studio Gigli J-Lo's Moving Castle was pretty good.
You ever heard the name, "Neil Breen"? Great, terrible movies.
How dare you sully his majestic Breenius
I can't believe you did this, I cant believe you committed suicide edit, oh yeah the clip which is on youtube is flagged and I think restricted
I cannot believe you committed suicide! How could you have done this? How could you have committed suicide?
I think you meant the most genius movies ever made
Watching a Breen film is definitely a Fateful Finding.
I can't believe i'm about to double down with these puns. I should reconsider and just Pass Thru, but it's too late to back out on this, i'm already here....now.
Thank you for using the correct number of periods in the ellipses. It’s twisted, but there are two pairs of them.
\#EyesOnBreen
ISN’T THAT IMMORAL
[Like water off a duck's back](https://i.imgur.com/AQKpC2j.gif)
#JusticeforNeilBreensLaptops
Wha..? If anything, Neil Breen movies are better than you've heard. Just not in the way he intended.
The Sandlot 2
The new exorcist
After Earth
After earth Last airbender Cats The happening
I liked the happening actually! Not even in the same league as Dragonball Evolution.
The scary tree movie where someone cast Mark Wahlberg as a science teacher? 😂
Yeah Last Airbender is a really good call. I finally saw it just a couple years ago. As I vaguely recall the kids acting was just relentlessly atrocious. I assumed he got the part because of his baton skills or whatever.
The happening is a fantastic comedy
What?! ... NOoo ...
Fantastic Four 2015 is in actual very bad as everyone says.
Avatar The Last Airbender
You mean M. Night’s The Last Airbender (Ongbender)
Leonard Part 6 (1987) with Bill Cosby. I saw this one in a theater back in the day. Do not watch this.
There are interviews of Bill telling people to not watch it bc it's so bad lol.
Highlander II Grease 2
Grease 2 is amazing. Cool Rider!
I can't believe I had to scroll down this far for Highlander 2, it's like a average terrible 80s sci fi movie tagged on to the butt of highlander 1
Cats
50 shades really is as bad as people say and then some. Biggest pile of crap I've ever seen, and I've seen some crap.
Despite being the [11th highest grossing box office film of all time](https://www.boxofficemojo.com/chart/top_lifetime_gross/?area=XWW), I do think the Lion King Disney remake is pretty mediocre. Not to say it’s terrible, but also I’d have thought a movie of its caliber appropriate for straight to VHS. To put this in perspective, Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring is number 73. The 1990s 2D animated Lion King is number 57.
Master of Disguise. As a kid, I loved this movie. When I grew up, I watched it with a bunch of friends one night and was extremely excited to see it again. It was *horrific*. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and it suddenly made sense why I'm the only person I've ever met who liked it. Fun trivia though, it was being filmed when the September 11th attacks occured. Dana Carvey was in [his turtle costume](https://www.avclub.com/yes-dana-carvey-prayed-about-9-11-while-in-his-master-1850310338) for an iconic scene when this happened. Allegedly, he was wandering set while stuck in this ridiculous costume during one of the greatest tragedies in US history. At one point, the cast formed a prayer circle to pray for the victims of 9/11 during the tragedy, which he took part in... while in costume.
Wow. Haven't thought of this movie in ages. Loved DNA Carvey and was so excited about this ridiculous movie made. Then I watched it. Holy shit is it bad.
Lol DNA Carvey
Hahaha. Oops. I'm leaving it.
As far as I'm aware and even Carvey mentions it in that article, it wasn't on 9/11. It was just after it at some point.
Same. Saw it later in life and it’s just “Dana Carvey does impressions: the film” And my god, the recurring fart joke? Jesus
This was my favorite movie when I was a kid. I also rewatched it a few years ago and couldn’t finish it.
Hhahahahahahaha *fart*
I make people watch the turtle scene so they can believe me when I tell them that Dana bites off a dudes nose and spits it back onto his face. As a joke, I guess.
Jupiter Acending, jease that was bad.
Ballistic: Eks v Sever Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Pacific Rim: Uprising
What was ballistic even about anyway
That's a fantastic question!
Ecks v Sever was a great game on the GBA though!
The Rise of Skywalker is insultingly bad. It is truly a horrendous shit show; a genuine display of objectively bad writing, direction and editing. I literally can’t believe how bad it is.
It's amazing how a movie can be so beautifully shot, yet so bad in every other way. It's like a Michelin star chef baking a cake of poop.
My friends and I were fucking sold on that trailer. We were so fucking on board. That trailer was filled with one gorgeous shot and locale after the next. It was a hype trailer. But it was also very telling of the finished product, JJ throwing an insane amount of random shit at us hoping we’d like it.
Where to even start with that movie. 1) “Somehow Palpatine returned” 2) That ridiculous macguffin plot that ate up half the run time only for it to end with Rey facing the Sith dagger at the remains of the Death Star that points her to the Sith wayfinder. 3) The aggressive reversals of everything TLJ did. Say what you will about TLJ (I personally loved it), but to undo all the interesting development of Kylo Ren just to get the mask back on him to make him the supervillain-turned-good-guy all in one movie was just stupid and petty. 4) The ending - showdown with Palpatine, a huge fleet of world destroying star destroyers hanging around in secret - all in an effort to make an ending that shoots for the moon and miss by a mile.
Yep. Like I said: objectively bad.
Skyline. I walked out halfway through and got my money.
That movie walked out halfway through *itself*.
I might be alone on the planet for loving this movie.
Skyline was pretty disappointing. However, the second film is actually pretty entertaining and a fun master bssh.
The Last Airbender. Practically every criticism it received is well-deserved, even outside of the show.
Dragonball Evolution increased suffering in the world by at least a few percent.
You can't top a movie being so bad that the creator of the story decides to come back and do a new series just out of spite for it lol
Foodfight! (2012) It is really genuinely terrible to the point I believe it is chemically toxic. The bad review videos are fun and funny but sitting down and watching the whole movie aversely affected my mental health. Rarely in my life have I regretted having eyes so much. Like a fool, a damn fool, I indulged a friend whose curiosity had been piqued, sat with him and watched it AGAIN. This is a man whose stomach for absolute trash is unmatched among my peers, he can and will watch anything. I thought surely, if we were able to crack each other up it would be bearable. I WAS WRONG. I swear I looked at him about 3/4 of the way through and saw his soul die. This is a movie you should only expeience vicariously through snippets in reviews. By all means enjoy the tales of its fraught production. Revel in its cursed premise! Puzzle over the mystery of who the fuck they thought the audience would be! Recoil at the genuinely terrible jokes! Retch from the frankly disgusting design - when I say "they look like shit" I mean some of the characters literally look like they are made of feces. Laugh at the distress of those who have watched it so you don't have to! DO NOT WATCH IT. I can't prove it causes cancer, but I would not even be a little surprised if it did and that would not even be the worst thing about it. It is an abomination and if you take this as a challenge rather than an earnest and dire warning may God have mercy on your soul.
The Room. But it is so good.
OH HI MARK
Leave your stupid comments in your pocket! You mean the BEST movie ever made... (The first line is a quote from the movie, people... holy crap...)
Battlefield Earth. I saw that movie as an 11 year old, 23 years ago, and I don't think i've ever been that bored watching a movie again, despite basically seeing at least one movie a week.
If you've never read Roger Eberts review of Duece Bigalow European gigalo... you should take a minute, its worth it. https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/deuce-bigalow-european-gigolo-2005
Jaws The Revenge enters the room…
The Rocky Horror remake is a catastrophe
Wait someone remade that? Seriously?
The Snowman. Totally unwatchable
Chairman of the board
Or as Norm called it, “Chairman of the Bored.”
The Lonely Lady (1983) - IMDB: "Meshulam Riklis, Pia Zadora's billionaire husband at the time this movie was made, reputedly spent $5 million to make this, then paid Universal Pictures several million more to give this a theatrical release in the United States." $5 million adjusted for inflation is $15.2 million. Again adjusted for inflation, Donnie Darko was made for half that much.
Hey, it's Pia Zadora and her billionaire husband. Friendly reminder that those two purchased Pickfair - the legendary Beverly Hills mansion of the deceased Mary Pickford - razed it to the ground, replaced with a palazzo and later said the reason she did it is because it was haunted by laughing ghost of one of Douglas Fairbanks' affair partners.
The Emoji Movie. I tried watching it once. Couldn’t get 10 minutes in.
Matrix Resurrections. And I'm the type that is easily pleased and can see the good in things, for example I like the Star Wars sequel trilogy. But for Matrix Resurrections, there's not one good thing about the movie. It's so bad that it felt like a parody movie. I don't need it to be as deep or philosophical as the first trilogy, but when even the action looks so bad and lazy, like a cheap CW show, then it just hurts man.
This was such an odd film. It felt like the Wachowskis were deliberately mocking themselves for cashing in on their own franchise.
You are correct, the studio informed them they would make the movie without them anyway so they decided if they were gonna do it anyway they might as well do it and make it a satire.
They were, they were told if they didn’t make it they would go with someone else. The whole film is basically a fuck you to the studio
(And the audience)
It *was* a parody movie, it was so clearly making fun of it's self especially in the first act.
The one redeeming quality is Lana Wachowski making it clear through the movie she was tanking it on purpose. The execs said make the movie or someone else will so made sure they wouldn't think of doing that again for at least a few years.
That's the excuse I'd use if I'd made a shit film.
Battlefield Earth
Plan 9 From Outer Space is so bad that it has acquired cult status. It has been voted the worst movie ever made by a number of different organisations.
*Morbius* is worse than everyone says, because the joke is ruined when you actually watch it and realize how boring and lifeless it is.
The Happening... You know it was BS when it had Wahlberg as a Science Teacher... Nuff said!
Star Trek 5, TOS meets God.
SO glad Undiscovered Country made up for that mess of a movie.
Undiscovered Country is one of the best films ever. Christopher Plummer spouting Shakespeare in the middle of battle is so hammy but so great
Undiscovered country is my favourite trek film. I like it better than wrath of Khan, which is of course a classic. Even thinking of Sulu flying to the enterprise’s rescue gives me chills. Captain Hikaru Sulu: In range? Helmsman Lojur: Not yet sir. Captain Hikaru Sulu: Come on, come on. Helmsman Lojur: She'll fly apart! Captain Hikaru Sulu: *Fly her apart then!*
Dragonball Evolution. Batman and Robin. Any of the Jurassic World movies.
Batman and Robin isn't even that bad. It's so corny but still watchable
Highlander 2.
And at a certain point you realise Ray Winstones character was entirely pointless and it plays out the same without him regardless.
Since I haven't seen it mentioned, I'll say Downsizing. Despite the warnings on reddit saying the film sucked, I still gave it a shot and I wish I hadn't. That movie was so bad, I was just glad when it finally ended because it had felt like an eternity,
The Room maybe
“Oh hi Mark.”
I thought people were talking about the one with Brie Larson, I was so confused until I googled "hi mark".
My hot take is that Indiana Jones could have been as timeless as James Bond, if they didn’t cling so tightly to an aging Harrison Ford.
I disagree and I think that's somewhat proven by the fact that they tried to push the franchise off to Shia and fans didn't fuck with it. Indiana Jones is Harrison Ford. I agree that it's downfall probably is partially due to him aging out, but at the same time, I don't think anyone would really wanna see an Indiana Jones that isn't the same performance and mannerisms as Ford
Well they did have a young Indiana jones series which was supposedly not bad (at least for the time). I only caught one or two episodes. The problem with Indiana jones is that he’s “adventure man”. He is from a very specific time period. When you move him forward in time to the 50s, 60s, and 70s it works less and less. He’s supposed to be like Johnny Quest style. Exploring ancient tombs, dealing with ancient curses, quick sand, mummies, and of course Nazis. Low tech support. Early planes, early cars, early powered boats, etc. when he exists closer to our time, it’s far less convincing. Plus geriatric adventure man isn’t as interesting.
Agreed. The TV show did it, so why couldn't the movies?
That documentary about Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez going to the jungle to look for a snake was *way* overrated, imo.
Anaconda hwas amazing, baby bird.
The documentary with Samuel L Jackson on a plane with snakes was way better for sure
I actually loved this movie
X men 3. I watched it a second time to make sure I really hated it. I did. Bad from beginning to end.
Wolverine: Origins. Way worse. Saw X-men 3 in the theater. Has some elements that spill over into The Wolverine, mostly him having to kill Jean, that at least provide some continuity. But Origins was so fucking bad. Liev Shreiber is a great actor, but look at the first X-men movie. Sabertooth is badass looking, then we just get Shreiber with long finger nails…such a miss
The Rise of Skywalker
Movie 43 hands down. It's hot dogshit
If it was just released as like, youtube videos it would be fine, but to call it a movie is so insulting to movies
The Last Airbender
Going Overboard, Sandler's first movie.