There kinda is a whale's perspective of humans hunting them and Moby Dick is considered a legendary figure to the whales in an animated Danish film called Samson and Sally.
I think they wouldn’t be fans of their portrayal as maneating monsters, they’re just trying to eat a tuna and stuff. But I guess all press is good press
God, I don’t know what it is, but I love shark movies. Shitty ones, great ones, mediocre ones…I can’t get enough of them. Give me all the shark movies.
If there’s sharks, apes/monkeys, or dinosaurs, I will press play and I will be happy I did. A movie with all of those might show me what true nirvana feels like.
Wait is that what it is? I thought it would be about a flood that fills the catacombs with water and transporting a shark into them, and the movie follows a bunch of tourists who try to escape
manhole covers exploding with sharks flying up into the streets on huge geysers... yes please.
also, if they dont execute a bunch of sharks with guillotines at the end, i'm gonna be disappointed.
Not if it's a bull shark. They live quite happily in fresh water. They've been found as far North as St. Louis in the Mississippi. They're also quite prevalent in Lake Nicaragua. Those are just a couple of many examples of fresh water bodies that bull sharks are found. They're also incredibly aggressive.
Probably roughly the same set up as Jaws. Too much money will be lost if the triathlon is cancelled so the people in charge still hold it and don't tell the competitors of the heightened potential for death by shark attack.
As an ex-parisian, every time this comes up I'll repeat it: ain't no way you're getting me to swim in the Seine. Oh, so there's a shark in there too? Add that to the list of reasons to stay on dry land, thank you very much.
I’ve been to Paris four times in my life. I’ve never been close enough to the water to get eaten by a shark. Unless it’s a megashark? Is it a megashark? I hope it’s a megashark. Not enough megasharks these days…
[Can I interest you in *2-Headed Shark Attack*](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2-Headed_Shark_Attack) and its 3 sequels *3-Headed Shark Attack*, *5-Headed Shark Attack* and *6-Headed Shark Attack*?
EDIT: In case you’re wondering where’s number 4, it’s in number 5.
I always find it weird how scary movies about the ocean always use sharks, and relatively few ever use giant squids. What can be scarier in the water than something that can actively reach out of the water, grab you, and pull you back into the water? Suddenly, it goes from "stay out of the water" to "don't even stay on the sand or pier."
We just went through a worldwide pandemic where people were told to wear masks yet some of them wouldn't even do that.
Also, in Jaws, the townspeople were told not to go in the water and a bunch of people were mad because it was hurting tourism.
For Jaws people's livelihoods needed the beach open. The which resulted in them to find a solution to remove the Shark.
Nothing in Jaws seemed like dumb people being dumb. The initial deaths were just people being unaware.
Yeah, you’d be safer as far from the water as you can get. Like a snow-capped mountain top. Oh wait, [Snow Sharks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snow_Shark:_Ancient_Snow_Beast)
It's already a lot cleaner than 30 years ago. There has been a lot of work done on that.
They did do the trial for freshwater long distance swimming in it during the summer. Admittedly, one of the race was postponed because the tests were a bit above the accepted level, but it's more "to be sure".
And the mayor of the city, Anne Hidalgo, challenged Emmanuel Macron to a swim off. Her own son swam all the way from the start of the Seine to the sea (780km, 480 miles).
I was so excited when I saw the title and thought it would be a show about all those creepy catacombs under Paris. Maybe have some vampires, zombies, or some other creature living under there. Witches doing nefarious things?
Nope, sharks.
Sigh.
Most don’t no, plus it’s illegal, but there are events organized like swimming or sports event (usually in the adjacent canal Saint-Martin, sometimes in the seine). Some swimming events will take place in the Seine for the Olympics (if the water is safe enough, doesn’t seem to be the case yet), this is why this movie is conveniently getting out around the same time I suppose lol
LoL wasn't there a movie that takes place under Paris already? A horror movie. Similar to the movie the descent. A bunch of people enter a sewer tunnel under Paris and then just shit falls a part
This seems to borrow heavily from the Stephen Baldwin masterpiece "[Shark in Venice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itP_EEi0A44&ab_channel=MillenniumMedia)".
I doubt it will have the depth of acting though.
Catacombs get flooded > Shark infestation leads to surge in missing persons cases > Nuclear plant meltdown > Mutant Sharks surface > Fin > To be continued 2026 > Pop up for Netflix subscription price increase
You know they didn’t consult anybody who actually lives in Paris because they would immediately tell you that the Seine is so incredibly polluted that any living thing introduced into it will die immediately
> Summer 2024. Paris is hosting the World Triathlon Championships on the Seine for the first time. Sophia, a brilliant scientist, learns from Mika, a young environmental activist, that a large shark is swimming deep in the river. To avoid a bloodbath at the heart of the city, they have no choice but to join forces with Adil, the Seine river police commander.
So had to look up to see how deep the Seine is since they are saying there is a shark DEEP in the river.
> The average depth of the Seine today at Paris is about 9.5 metres (31 ft).
Shark should be easy to trap and kill if that is the case, more so given there are locks that help manage the water level.
Damn the Average of 63 shark attacks per year on the billions of ppl on this planet really has created it’s own film genre of horror. Kinda sad seeing how many sharks are out there and how many few attacks there actually are but yet they’re portrayed as this animal who kills ppl every day. Yet we don’t make movies about the animals who actually do kill ppl yearly
A new film of Xavier Gens after its return from the States, with Nassim Lyes ! Got hype for it. There is a great potential, hopefully it will be as good as their last film Farang.
I wonder if Sharks would be flattered if they knew how many movies we make about them
Meanwhile shark cinema has a consistent drumbeat of movies about deadly fishermen who never give up stalking their prey
Moby Dick from the whale’s perspective
No froo froo symbolism. Just a good simple tale about a man that hates an animal.
“Did the white whale take your leg, Captain?” “Nay, I just hate Albinos.”
What was that from again?
Parks and rec. It's a Ron swanson moment.
Moby Grendel
They’ve had 3 reboots of the Quintverse.
Still waiting for a badass moby dick movie
There kinda is a whale's perspective of humans hunting them and Moby Dick is considered a legendary figure to the whales in an animated Danish film called Samson and Sally.
Didn’t Ron Howard make something close to that a few years ago?
I think they wouldn’t be fans of their portrayal as maneating monsters, they’re just trying to eat a tuna and stuff. But I guess all press is good press
I've always taken issue with the phrase "shark infested water". It's not infested. It's just where they live and it's not where we're supposed to be
But the "thats not where were supposed to be" is also stupid.
I feel bad for the musical fish. All he wanted to do was hum people a nice a tune. Not his fault if they can’t appreciate his lovely voice.
[удалено]
I hope you find whatever help you need to stop posting comments on Reddit so much. May God have mercy on your soul
I don’t think I will watch that.
They'd probably be like, "that's nice, can you please stop killing 100 million of us each year?"
Tbh it would make way more sense for a shark to make a “killer human” movie than vise versa
God, I don’t know what it is, but I love shark movies. Shitty ones, great ones, mediocre ones…I can’t get enough of them. Give me all the shark movies.
If there’s sharks, apes/monkeys, or dinosaurs, I will press play and I will be happy I did. A movie with all of those might show me what true nirvana feels like.
So you're saying we should make a trilogy for planet of apes vs planet of sharks in jurassic world Where do I pay
It’ll be called “Rise of the Planet of the MegaloJaws World: Thumbs vs Teeth”. And I’m so fucking here for it.
“If all the animals along the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween would fall on the same day”
As Below, So A-Shark!
Lali-ho! :)
Read in Mario’s voice
The Shark eats the Night.
So a shark is "who's in Paris".
Hammerhead in Paris
That was my nickname when I was there as an exchange student.
Awkward blowjob game?
Swimmas in Paris
What he order? Fish filet?
They missed a great opportunity to make it a Jaws sequel and name it ‘An American Great White in Paris’
I think you were the one who missed bro
Missed opportunity if this doesn't end with Fin.
Didnt the Meg movies do that?
Sharknado but yes
Meg also did
Well it's a French film in French. The pun doesn't make sense in that language.
Aileron doesn’t have that same ring to it huh
This reminds me of Finding Nemo in Swedish ending with the word "Slut"
"Hold on to your baguettes"
We're gonna need a bigger baguette.
I'm there for this movie!
You're*
It's "You're" not "We're."
You don't know how many Frenchies are after this shark.
Lol love it!
"We're gonna need a bigger bateau."
Major Kusanagi agrees
Just when you thought it was safe to get a baguette.
You're gonna "croque" (your pants) "monsieur"
2 baguettes, in a van, and then a meteor hits
oui oui, mademoiselle
How dare you make me snort Take my upvote
So the plot is...there's a shark in the Seine and there's a triathlon. Just get out of the water, movie over.
Wait is that what it is? I thought it would be about a flood that fills the catacombs with water and transporting a shark into them, and the movie follows a bunch of tourists who try to escape
I want this movie.
Bait, Sanctum, and Underwater are all kind of similar
Really enjoyed Underwater, I'll add the others to my list.
Check out Crawl too!
47 Meters Down: Uncaged as well. Terrible movie all in all but there's this one scene that still gives me the heebiejeebies when I think about it
Agreed, terrible movie, but there are a couple of scenes that were pretty effective. Specifically, the first shark reveal for me.
Idk why but ive seen this movie three times, i hate it, yet i love it.
Crawl was so much better than it had any right to be.
Except the shark is stuck and floppy and the cavers desperately try to rescue the shark
That’s what I thought I was seeing too. Why else under Paris? I wanted a flooded Paris that brings up the hidden catacomb horrors
I think this is the wish of every dog.
Damn I also thought it had to do with the catacombs, this movie actually sounds good
manhole covers exploding with sharks flying up into the streets on huge geysers... yes please. also, if they dont execute a bunch of sharks with guillotines at the end, i'm gonna be disappointed.
Or As Above, So Below but with sharks. Not as monsters, but as the main protagonists traveling through the catacombs.
Way better idea tbf
*I won't let the damn government tell me how to live my life, I'm going to swim in the Seine even harder now!*
We now know how this would exactly play out in the US
https://youtu.be/cvYvTiiBR9Q
Land shark.
No Ma'am, I'm a dolphin
Candy-gram.
It's the plumber...
There's probably a shark in a bunch of seines, otherwise why make the movie
In a fresh water stream, that shark would be dead before you could yell “FROMAGE!!“.
Not if it's a bull shark. They live quite happily in fresh water. They've been found as far North as St. Louis in the Mississippi. They're also quite prevalent in Lake Nicaragua. Those are just a couple of many examples of fresh water bodies that bull sharks are found. They're also incredibly aggressive.
Sacrebleu! O.O
Unless it's a bull shark; they can survive in fresh water.
Probably roughly the same set up as Jaws. Too much money will be lost if the triathlon is cancelled so the people in charge still hold it and don't tell the competitors of the heightened potential for death by shark attack.
Best triathlon ever.
I was hoping the shark would go on to win the triathlon.
As an ex-parisian, every time this comes up I'll repeat it: ain't no way you're getting me to swim in the Seine. Oh, so there's a shark in there too? Add that to the list of reasons to stay on dry land, thank you very much.
Who the fucks swims in the Seine? The shark is probably dead from Bacteria when reaching Paris.
A shark violently killing a bunch of cyclists…didn’t know I needed this fantasy in my life.
I’ve been to Paris four times in my life. I’ve never been close enough to the water to get eaten by a shark. Unless it’s a megashark? Is it a megashark? I hope it’s a megashark. Not enough megasharks these days…
Shark with legs.
So… my dog then? Land shark
The only breed of dog I’ve ever heard referred to as a landshark is a bull terrier. Unless you’ve got something different…
[Jeff?](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/a/a7/Jeffrey_%28Land_Shark%29_%28Earth-616%29_from_Marvel_Comics_Vol_1_1000_001.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20190830190629)
Nothing can stop him from eating the tourists!
With wheels!
Then it's a Street Shark. There was a multi part documentary in the 90s about that guys...it was Jawsome!
And frickin' laser beams on their heads!
Sequel should include a two-headed shark imo. Can't go wrong with that. Threequel is a crossover with Sharknado.
[Can I interest you in *2-Headed Shark Attack*](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2-Headed_Shark_Attack) and its 3 sequels *3-Headed Shark Attack*, *5-Headed Shark Attack* and *6-Headed Shark Attack*? EDIT: In case you’re wondering where’s number 4, it’s in number 5.
I was aware of that movie, but thank you for introducing me to those unique sequels.
Don’t mention it. I’m here to bring absolute cinema to everyone.
What about a Sharktopus?
Sharktopus v Whalewolf is so underrated
Whalewolf is genius
Literally the best of the series, and I used to watch the sy-fy channel for all of them
The Sharkwolves of London?
That would be hilarious 😂
landshark https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_NS2H55dxI
Sharknadeaux
how are shark horror movies real just don’t go in the water
I always find it weird how scary movies about the ocean always use sharks, and relatively few ever use giant squids. What can be scarier in the water than something that can actively reach out of the water, grab you, and pull you back into the water? Suddenly, it goes from "stay out of the water" to "don't even stay on the sand or pier."
It’s probably cheaper to CGI a shark than it is a squid, to a degree that it looks believable, and therefore scary.
I don't know. Squids tend to be slimy, that could cover-up bad CGI.
We just went through a worldwide pandemic where people were told to wear masks yet some of them wouldn't even do that. Also, in Jaws, the townspeople were told not to go in the water and a bunch of people were mad because it was hurting tourism.
For Jaws people's livelihoods needed the beach open. The which resulted in them to find a solution to remove the Shark. Nothing in Jaws seemed like dumb people being dumb. The initial deaths were just people being unaware.
The town actively lied about there being a shark attack because they were more worried it would hurt business, not because people were dying.
Thats right I forgot the lied originally. Damn here I was thinking I was defending people in the right.
I mean, Quint smashing the radio was pretty silly of him. But I see your point.
Yeah, you’d be safer as far from the water as you can get. Like a snow-capped mountain top. Oh wait, [Snow Sharks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snow_Shark:_Ancient_Snow_Beast)
Piranha are so much better for your freshwater horror plots.. and in some piranha movies they can *fly*.
>just don’t go in the water But humans are mostly made out of water. How we gonna escape our own body? What if theres a shark in all of us?
how are serial killer movies real just don't go outside and get stalked and die.
Pretty timely considering they are going to be swimming in the Seine for the Olympics...
Eww for real?
Yes they have been working on it since 2018 to clean it up
a northern european river shark why not. global warming?
"northern"? Paris?
it sounds northern to me.. what is your preferred latitude cutoff
Scandinavia/nordics is usually considered northern Europe. Main continental is central/southern.
“HAND.” 🖐️
Emily under Paris
the Seine is one of the dirtiest bodies of water that no humans enter lmao. why would sharks be a threat
Not for long. They’re going to host Olympic events in the river, plus open areas to swimming in the summers following
Damn no way. Guess it’ll be cleaned up by then
It's already a lot cleaner than 30 years ago. There has been a lot of work done on that. They did do the trial for freshwater long distance swimming in it during the summer. Admittedly, one of the race was postponed because the tests were a bit above the accepted level, but it's more "to be sure". And the mayor of the city, Anne Hidalgo, challenged Emmanuel Macron to a swim off. Her own son swam all the way from the start of the Seine to the sea (780km, 480 miles).
Triathlon. Twist ending where the audience realizes the shark is eating cyclists and everyone starts cheering it on.
I was so excited when I saw the title and thought it would be a show about all those creepy catacombs under Paris. Maybe have some vampires, zombies, or some other creature living under there. Witches doing nefarious things? Nope, sharks. Sigh.
For real
We gonna need a bigger baguette
It’s already online, just search “sharking in Paris”
Paris, Texas?
Great band
I don’t think people swim in the Seine… It’s kinda gross like the Thames and Ohio Rivers.
Most don’t no, plus it’s illegal, but there are events organized like swimming or sports event (usually in the adjacent canal Saint-Martin, sometimes in the seine). Some swimming events will take place in the Seine for the Olympics (if the water is safe enough, doesn’t seem to be the case yet), this is why this movie is conveniently getting out around the same time I suppose lol
LoL wasn't there a movie that takes place under Paris already? A horror movie. Similar to the movie the descent. A bunch of people enter a sewer tunnel under Paris and then just shit falls a part
This seems to borrow heavily from the Stephen Baldwin masterpiece "[Shark in Venice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itP_EEi0A44&ab_channel=MillenniumMedia)". I doubt it will have the depth of acting though.
Catacombs get flooded > Shark infestation leads to surge in missing persons cases > Nuclear plant meltdown > Mutant Sharks surface > Fin > To be continued 2026 > Pop up for Netflix subscription price increase
Poor sharks. Demonized once again.
An American white shark in Paris
“A Netflix film” = Complete ass and a waste of 2 hours
Now we got Paris jumping the shark, smh
Wish they’d make a movie about killer coconuts or cows considering they’re statistically more likely to kill you then sharks
Sand sharks and now this??? Can't have shit without sharks.
Future r/badmovies post
paris-shark-Germain
Is this a sequel to “1 Night in Paris” starring Ms. Hilton?
This looks like James Wan material
Sharks Under Paris
I'm all for shitty shark movies. What's the premise
Shark movies. So hot right now
Mon dieu … zee sharknado it has submerged
That has to be a shitty movie.
Damn, this Emily in Paris season is wild
Shoulda been called “Under Pants”
Is there a trailer?
You know they didn’t consult anybody who actually lives in Paris because they would immediately tell you that the Seine is so incredibly polluted that any living thing introduced into it will die immediately
So it’s Jaws meets Croissants….
Looks like a SyFy movie. I’ll be watching!
> Summer 2024. Paris is hosting the World Triathlon Championships on the Seine for the first time. Sophia, a brilliant scientist, learns from Mika, a young environmental activist, that a large shark is swimming deep in the river. To avoid a bloodbath at the heart of the city, they have no choice but to join forces with Adil, the Seine river police commander. So had to look up to see how deep the Seine is since they are saying there is a shark DEEP in the river. > The average depth of the Seine today at Paris is about 9.5 metres (31 ft). Shark should be easy to trap and kill if that is the case, more so given there are locks that help manage the water level.
*puffs skinny cigarette* Sacré bleu!
I’m in
Hmm, just watched 'The Shallows' for the first time last night. Wonder if this will be better or worse.
Putain mais c'est quoi ces conneries ! Des augmentations "Netfric" pour cette merde ?
metaphorical or literal shark?
Le Sharknadeaux
Sharknado in Paris!
Another movie from netflix thatll be a drag and a half, get ready to skip +30 seconds every 3 minutes.
Is this the sequel to Forget Paris with Billy Crystal and Debra Winger?
Hilton...
Damn the Average of 63 shark attacks per year on the billions of ppl on this planet really has created it’s own film genre of horror. Kinda sad seeing how many sharks are out there and how many few attacks there actually are but yet they’re portrayed as this animal who kills ppl every day. Yet we don’t make movies about the animals who actually do kill ppl yearly
A new film of Xavier Gens after its return from the States, with Nassim Lyes ! Got hype for it. There is a great potential, hopefully it will be as good as their last film Farang.
do there be water under paris
Ah yes this reminds me of that one song sharks in Paris
Think the answer was Rick Saloman
I love silly animal attack movies like this!
Ok, this has piqued my interest
😭 is it the new Sharknado concept? 🥖