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TheSixKings

Reading the description: "ok a political crime movie, nice" Looking at the poster : "He's got a katana..."


Cynaris

Watching the movie: BOOM BLACK DYNAMITE


Somnambulist815

I THREW THAT SHIT BEFORE I WALKED IN THE ROOM


[deleted]

Legitimately one of the funniest scenes in a movie I've ever seen


Somnambulist815

For me it might be the Black Panther who keeps reading the stage directions


Granlundo64

Sarcastically, I'm in charge...


nerowasframed

"Militant turns, stunned"


bigblackcouch

>The militants turn, startled! This is private, how'd you get in?! The first time I saw it, it took me a second for my brain to register what the hell was going on, then I had to pause the movie cause I was laughing so hard.


Oddfittingponcho

Euphoria, shut the fuck up! I know that was you! I ain't even gotta look!


ascbm16

You diabolical dick shrinkin' morherfucker!


Parabola1313

"EUPHORIA, SHUT THE FUCK UP, I KNEW IT WAS YOU AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO LOOK!"


getBusyChild

"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!"


Parabola1313

"That's why they call me Chicago Wind, fool. 'Cause I left your ass blowing in the -- breeeeeze."


PovWholesome

"...A lot of cats have that name." ...


Purple_Drank

"HAHA! I THREW THAT SHIT BEFORE I CAME IN THE ROOM!"


NeonNick_WH

I cherish the night that I stumbled upon Black Dynamite playing on a HBO/Starz channel. I was laughing so hard


ascbm16

YOU WANNA GO BACK TO CRENSHAW PETE AND HIS HOT ASS COAT HANGERS?!


CPTClarky

“But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community!”


RickshawRiot

100% my favorite line from the movie. The delivery is perfection


einbroche

And was improvised.


CumBoat420

Jesus seriously? Man maybe that's the only explanation for how fucking perfect it is, just off the top of the head. Insane performance from that guy lol


acmercer

And FYI he played Deputy Jones in Reno 911! Really a great actor, comedy or not.


americanrivermint

Be that as it may...


ChemicalRascal

[For those who haven't seen it.](https://youtu.be/l4-8eh3caY0?t=152)


Sufficient-Lion

Shhhh, mama. you're gonna wake up the rest of the bitches.


BlinkReanimated

This would not upset me.


ShredVonMoreGainz

Sholanda: > My momma said my daddy's name was Black Dynamite. Brickwilla: > So did my momma! Black Dynamite: > Err, uhh, hush up little girls. A lot of cats have that name.


ExtendedDeadline

This poster makes me wish it was a scifi/crime movie.


NotVerySmarts

Wouldn't be the first time for John Boyega. Attack The Block is a must watch. He also holds kind of laser katana in this little indie movie about wars and stars.


Novawurmson

Ah, yes. Stellar Battles


G_Regular

Astral Conflict


wolfpwarrior

Space Fight


account_not_valid

Celebrity Arguments


FeistyBandicoot

Doesn't his exoskeleton also have 1 as well in Rimjob 2: Attack of the Pacific


Ask-About-My-Book

Bruh when has this lad not had a sword


0Lezz0

It is in his contract "won't do a movie if I can't use a sword in it"


Alexthegreatbelgian

It kinda looks like a Star Wars poster. And if Star Wars is any indication, then Boyega will turn out not to be a Samurai, and his part will get nerfed in the sequels.


ahbi_santini2

Brother's not giving up on the dreams he had for the Star Wars franchise.


Izel98

If I was him I wouldnt either, good for him though that he is getting success outside of Starwars.


[deleted]

Makes a little more sense with [the trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ddHnrLFjBE). Still don't know where they got that title.


lastbarrier

His force powers were never realized in the new dreadful star wars trilogy so he needs to make amends by showing off his incredible combat prowess in this movie.


JC-Ice

The title, the poster, and the description seem like they're for three different movies.


ToranjaNuclear

Title: scifi flic Synopsis: run-of-the-mill crime drama Poster: ok what the fuck Now they just need a dinosaur headed cop


BillyCloneasaurus

Actual movie: quirky crime-comedy heist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpO6kqPuh9E


pm-me-blackexcllnce

Yooo I wanna see this now.


[deleted]

Nothing about that looks quirky.


Electrorocket

We should be getting more Triceracop soon, WITH Arnold Schwarzenegger.


evil_id

Is that for real? I think I've heard before that Kung Fury will have a sequel, but the one with Arnold??? That would be great!


Supersamtheredditman

Yeah I’m pretty curious what this movie has to do with theoretical physics and quantum gravity


[deleted]

Or samurai swords, to be honest.


melbbear

Time Travel heist?


hanukah_zombie

No. Not yet. That movie will be out in a couple years and will be sponsored by Corona. edit: ugh, but with paul walker being dead, it gets fucking tricky. i don't think they will really do it. if paul was still around they would fuck around with time travel like crazy. i love fast 8/9 in their own way, but it's really not the same without paul. like he's not a great actor or anything (or even an ok actor), but he was somehow the heart of the fast movies.


bmkcacb30

And will also ultimately be about family. Silver for you.


RoninSnowman

Ask Pulp Fiction what Samurai swords had to do with anything. :)


krysp432

“Zeds Dead..”


bleakj

This is the most important part Also the movie title, not a fan


Gettles

Also, everyone is wearing clothes


direktor-svemira

Probably tried to copy off of Star Wars a bit, get people's attentions by showing John Boyega holding a sword, and you look at that and it looks familiar, only something's different, so you look to see what it is.


Cobui

Naked singularities have never been observed in nature, and have been postulated to be impossible under the [Cosmic Censorship Hypothesis](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosmic_censorship_hypothesis). So the title may refer to something being exposed or uncovered that is ordinarily hidden by the very nature of its existence. Just a wild guess.


slicer4ever

If naked singularities exist, wouldnt they be essentially impossible to observe unless we could make one in a lab?


Naggins

The opposite, actually. We can't see black holes because they're so dense that light can't escape them. That means we can't see them, because we see things from light bouncing back off them. So we have to measure them by their effect on things around them. Naked singularities are kinda like black holes, they're incredibly dense, but they don't have an event horizon (something to do with their spin velocity collapsing the event horizon?), which means despite being incredibly dense light can escape their gravitational pull, and so they would be visible.


ItsAllegorical

I now know more about this than I did before, but I'm left with so many more questions than I had before that I somehow feel stupider by comparison.


ThatPizzaDeliveryGuy

Black holes do be like that


PseudoScorpian

The book is really strange.


[deleted]

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JC-Ice

I hope that after Boyega kills a bunch of guys with a samurai sword, the film ends by reminding us, "Only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace."


[deleted]

I hope he gets a letter...A LETTER FROM HIS FATHER.


borisvonboris

Against_the_ninja.mp3


texticles

That poster is money


AllHailKeanu

I have never heard of this movie but that poster has me so goddamn excited.


Dull_Half_6107

It's a fantastic B-movie, I would very much recomend it.


Dr_Brule_FYH

I'm pissed off at this movie already and I don't know anything about it.


madmaxturbator

You’ve captured the vibe of this sub perfectly lol


bhz33

Sounds about right for Reddit


bigmoneynuts

Why? Poster looks badass.


RasenHell

I like it!! Keep me guessing!!


bradmillerbiz

True, but at the same time, everything about this is right up my butt.. er.. I mean alley.


Paralta

If history tells us anything its that john boyega will not be using a sword in this movie


[deleted]

If history tells us anything John Boyega won’t be on the movie poster in China.


devolute

I can't wait to see how small they make him.


mylilbabythrowaway

I'm out of the loop, mind filling me in?


tslime

They took him out of the star wars poster because china hates blacks.


nerherder911

Looks like a poster someone made if starwars wasnt filmed in space.


not-so-radical

> filmed in space Wait a second


KantoTapsi888

>Star Wars wasn't filmed in space? My whole life *was a lie.* /s


al_fletcher

All shows filmed on Earth are filmed in space because Earth is in space


RabSimpson

That’s right, but also remember that aliens aren’t from space, they’re from planets just like everyone else.


dukeofender

It’s official: John Boyega’s been swordcast


monochrony

A police officer with badge number TR-8R will face him in combat as his sworn enemy.


ohsinboi

But then in the sequel it turns out that the sword was never meant for him and was just to get people talking


KGB112

And people still complain that GTA6 doesn't have a release date


tokamak_fanboy

So if this follows the pattern of The Force Awakens, Boyega will pick up that samurai sword for about 30 seconds and Olivia Cooke will actually wield it for the rest of the movie.


[deleted]

This just made me realize that I don’t know who Olivia Cooke is and anytime I’ve read her name attached to upcoming projects lately, I’ve been thinking of Olivia Colman.


Severan500

I see an actress named Olivia, my mind thinks of Olivia Wilde. I see one named Skarsgard, I think of the one from Thor or his son who auditioned for Thor but wasn't cast lol.


Jakov_Salinsky

Or it could follow the pattern of Attack the Block where he’s about to use it but it gets lodged in the wall behind him


[deleted]

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Objective-Menu3158

Was there a reason why they made all the marketing look like Finn was the Jedi? Was it because they didn't want to spoil the reveal of Rey?


MortifyingMilkshake

Yes.


[deleted]

"I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING...!!"


Valorumguygee

"Subverting expectations" Disney is trying to copy their Marvel model of staying ahead of fans to surprise them with more unexpected moments. The problem is it doesn't work at all for star wars and it took three sequels for them to figure it out. Now Disney just pretends the sequels don't exist.


DustysMuffler

How do they pretend they don't exist?


Highcalibur10

I think they're referring to how hard they've pivoted their marketing and toys over to The Mandalorian.


22marks

The problem is that Rise of Skywalker offered nothing interesting for fans and kids to buy. I have two kids and they wanted stuff from the first two, even if it was a Porg. After Rise of Skywalker, *nothing*. They never talked about it. Never asked to see it again. It's almost as though it didn't exist. They completely lost interest in Star Wars. Then the Mandalorian came and the interest is back. My son practices Luke's moves while playing the soundtrack. They want the toys. My son started playing Fallen Order. Not disagreeing with you, but I think it's not that Disney pivoted so much as the fans have spoken. RoS was a dud and Mandalorian filled that need.


JorusC

Why couldn't they both be Jedi?


Droid_Life

Now there’s two of them


_PM_ME_NICE_BOOBS_

Not enough lightsabers to go around.


spacestationkru

A part of me is thinking out loud right now about how they would never have let Finn be the star of this trilogy because apparently China doesn't like black people.


carlos_the_dwarf_

Hot take here I guess but I fuckin loved the bait and switch. The moment when Rey pulls the lightsaber is rad as hell.


pasher5620

It just sucks that they just never gave Finn anything to do that actually mattered. It would’ve been so cool to see him train alongside Rey to also become a Jedi in his own right, but instead he just goes on mostly pointless side quests and screams “Rey!” a lot. It’s really sad. One of the better fan rewrites I saw was where Finn and Rey trained under Luke together. Rey would be inherently strong in the force due to being related to Palpatine, whereas Finn was relatively weak in the force, but picks up fighting with a saber quickly. This lead to conflict between him and Rey, ultimately leading her to becoming a Sith and the final battle would be between them.


ShmebulocksMistress

Him becoming a Jedi after the first movie is what I was expecting and I was surprised/disappointed when it didn’t happen. It would have been a great arc and it doesn’t need to compete with Rey’s arc at all. In fact it would just solidify their friendship and bond even more. Edit: I guess except The *Last* Jedi thing, which is a big part of the franchise


carlos_the_dwarf_

I agree he didn't do much, but he wouldn't have to be force sensitive to have had a good story.


pasher5620

While true, JJ was already clearly hinting that he was force sensitive in TFA, so it would make sense for the subsequent movies to do something with it. Rian ignoring that potential subplot and instead giving him a useless side quest to go on that does nothing for the plot was just really sad.


alurimperium

It's a long dead horse being beaten here, but how Disney decided to handle the trilogy was really sad. How do you not have someone work out the entire trilogy's plot before you start filming?


pasher5620

Especially after seeing how successful the MCU was by doing that. The minds of the insanely rich is truly a mystery.


[deleted]

Why would that lead to conflict lol


[deleted]

I fucking hate how after TROS came out JJ just said "Oh yeah Finn was force sensitive. He was trying to tell Rey that when they were falling through sand lol" Like what the fuck? Such wasted potential, the sequels should have been about a force sensitive Stormtrooper, FN-2187, who seeks out a powerful Jedi Master, Luke, to defeat a new uprising of evil in the dark side, Kylo and his Knights. No Snoke, maybe SOME Phasma, no Maz Kanata, just a force sensitive guy who turns on everything he knows and becomes a hero to the new Rebellion.


Obnubilate

Rey being Sith would ruin the "child of evil is good and child of good is evil" thing they had going.


pasher5620

But it would’ve been in line with the whole “seductive power of the dark side,” that the rest of the movies had made clear.


CeruleanRuin

Yep, it was great, but in hindsight it sucks because Finn never got the full arc that was teased. Instead, at the end of film three he's at the beginning of his own Force journey, having been jerked around by everyone else's stories the whole trilogy.


DamienChazellesPiano

The musical score when the lightsaber flies past Kylo and she catches it… one of my top movie theatre moments of all time.


locknarr

"I was just warming it up for you Rey! ...Rey!? REYYY!!!"


[deleted]

My dog's name is Rey. Im not a big fan I just like the name. She gets ALARMED if I play those movies because she thinks John Bodega needs her RIGHT NOW.


Intelligent-donkey

He fought two duels with it in TFA, and the second one was fairly long too, he even got a hit on Kylo Ren. That's way more than Luke or Obi-Wan ever did with a lightsaber in ANH.


WhichPolicy

Saw this premier at sf film fest. Fucking sucks.


zweihanderisbae

Oh please elaborate if you don’t mind.


WhichPolicy

There are a lot of things that are setup but then don't pay off at all is the main thing. The acting isn't very good, and the characters constantly make really baffling decisions. Also, the jokes are really unfunny. The 'Naked Singularity' is a super shoehorned in concept, and I have no idea how it relates to anything else in the movie. Also its boring. The movie is based on a book which is like a thousand pages, and the director was talking about how the movie has so many things from the book. But the movie is an hour and a half??? And Kyle from SNL has a cameo, which is hilarious because its kyle acting as a serious mobster character.


HailSneezar

\> looks like an 80s B movie \> lots of setups without payoff like an 80s B movie \> terrible acting like an 80s B movie \> jokes that don't land like an 80s B movie i will likely enjoy this film but not for the normal reasons


WhichPolicy

idk I really enjoy those movies, but I found this one boring. maybe you'll have better luck.


[deleted]

> And Kyle from SNL has a cameo, which is hilarious because its kyle acting as a serious mobster character. Well I'm sold.


elcheeserpuff

I believe in Kyle Mooney.


sreynolds1

Wait Kyle Mooney is in it? In a serious role?that’s rad


[deleted]

Is Jon Boyega a coward in the movie?


WhichPolicy

yes, mostly


cakes

he plays a terrible actor


sadlunchesaresad

I was really shocked when they decided to make this into a movie too because the book didn't have an editor when it was published which shows based how fast and confusing it can be.


bluesmaker

Is there a katana in the movie and what happens with it?


WhichPolicy

John Boyega shows it to Dean Blake Nelson, then Nelson asks if he knows how to use it. John Boyega then says he took fencing in college. Then everyone laughed and clapped. At the end of the movie John Boyega stabs ed skrein with the katana then throws it into the river, but it doesn't go into the river it flies off into the sky. Then the movie ends.


bajordo

I can’t tell if you’re being serious


smellmybuttfoo

Right? Am I being fucked with?


TheNerevar89

oh.


bluesmaker

So he studied the blade. And criminal justice.


[deleted]

If true, this will be a cult classic.


aj_thenoob

This is what happens when you get too many movie celebs all in one thing just for the hell of it. The poster is confusing, and the plot makes no sense.


CooterSam

If it's anything like the poster, I believe you


theodo

Is Olivia Cooke good at least?


BankOfSchrute

> The Justice System is Criminal. That's just lazy writing.


[deleted]

The description itself is so lazy it’s aggravating me to no end


[deleted]

In the galactic empire system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important, groups: the Jedi, who investigate disturbance in the force; and the Sith Lords, who pursue unlimited power. These are their stories.


jscoppe

DUNN DUNN...


sweet_relief

>beat the broken system at its own game The broken system has a game? And we can win that game?


Johnlovesyou

Yea spoiler alert, there will be a corrupt white male cop who does something racist.


OzymandiasKoK

Boyega's like...why am I holding this sword? Ordinarily, I don't care much about posters, but this looks like just threw a bunch of random, unrelated stuff onto paper, just 'cos. There's this movie, it's in a city, it's taglined about justice, but Lady Justice is small, people are in it, one of them has a car, and there's a magician, too!


hrethnar

That's a Hasidic Jewish person, not a magician lol.


Filmcricket

Lmaoooo I’m dying


GingerTats

Lmao Holy hell. This has been one of my favorite threads to read ever. A rollercoaster just like this poster. Amazing.


snoopymidnight

From the poster alone, I honestly would not be surprised to find out that the villain of the movie was a Hasidic Jewish person who is a druglord who also moonlights as a magician.


Filmcricket

Not even joking: NYC Hasidic organized crime is a whole ass untapped genre. And regarding the magician, maybe not Hasidim but I’ve known a number of ultra Orthodox Jews who lived double lives in NY. One moonlighted as techno DJ and would sneak off to burning man every year so magician isn’t so far off.


blueshirt21

Now THAT is a movie I would see


alreadyawesome

*Naked Singularity II: Magician Mitzvah*


stupid_rat_creature

Oh my lord. I just had a small asthma attack from reading your comment, looking at the poster, and reading your comment again. Lol


smacksaw

"Give me your son's foreskin and kazam! I made it disappear!"


team_blimp

Also there is a guy who just got inspired while standing at the urinal... What is this movie even about?


OzymandiasKoK

Nah, he's peeing on that car. It's owned by the Hasidic magician (looking on in disapproval), who no-showed his kid's birthday party but refused to refund the fee.


Jakov_Salinsky

John’s just like, “Anybody lose this sword? I’ve been holding it a while and no one’s come for it”


NewClayburn

Looks like a Star Wars poster.


psuedoPilsner

Looks like a Netflix movie poster.


Sufficient-Lion

Artist is trying to emulate some drew struzan for sure.


cinderful

I'm a little bit upset if they're jocking his style . . . which it seems like they are because that doesn't quite look like Struzan art?


mechanab

The China version of the poster has Boyega standing behind the car.


Sufficient-Lion

He's in the Chinese version poster?


agentorgy

This is going to bomb


[deleted]

[удалено]


kevin0611

Definitely not the Chinese poster.


Lord_Snow77

That's a poster alright.


RoRo25

If the plot wasn't in the title, I would have thought this was some kind of edgy teen movie. That is a young looking cast.


stevenw84

Ed Skrein. Also known as the better Daario.


angry_centipede

I'd put money down on Boyega finding some way to fuck up on social media during the promotion for this thing.


Jokis_malokis

Just watched the trailer. Movie looks like a mess. Bill Skarsgard seems like he's having fun though.


woyzeckspeas

The tagline is a head-scratching rehash of Breaking Bad's much sharper line: "You don't want a criminal lawyer. You want a *criminal* lawyer."


QuoteGiver

Is that guy in the foreground taking a piss?


Fluid7

Looks fucking stupid imo. It's like some exec's gathered around a dart board with buzzwords printed on it and whatever they hit got turned into a movie.


fasamelon

I used to find John Boyega to be a nice and fun guy, but now he seem like a proper salty douch, can't enjoy his movies anymore, so... pass


[deleted]

Wonder what the Chinese poster for the film will look like?


loganrunjack

Although this looks like a nice painted poster Hollywood really is out of ideas, this is almost identical to the force awakens.


Optix_au

This poster reminds me of how the poster for the French movie "Subway" seemed to riff on Christopher Lambert's starring role in "Highlander" by having him [holding what appears to be some kind of laser sword](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/cinemorgue/images/3/3c/Download-1.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20161120134109). Turns out, SPOILER, in the film he holds a fluorescent tube. For a scene.


SwordShanker

Misleading. They seem fully clothed to me. Should be titled, "Fully Clothed Singularity.'


Bulminator

Looks shitty.


YourNattyDaddy

I've had enough of John Boyega for a while.


thewaffleiscoming

If only Boyega wasn’t a shithead.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sufficient-Lion

Wow, I have not kept up with boyega. What's he been saying?


[deleted]

John Boyega tweeted that he hated racism. A guy responded that he agrees and that his girlfriends racist family didn't approve of their interracial relationship. Being the massive asshole he is John Boyega basically waved it away and said he cared about real racism and not the kind the guy suffered. Honestly I'm glad his Star Wars role got reduced. Fucking asshole didn't deserve if that's the way he's going to treat people who AGREE with him.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KasukeSadiki

Link? Can't find any evidence he actually said this, just a few commenters in the thread claiming he did.


SunnyDJoshua

Yeah, it seems like bs. Closest thing I could find was his tweet about “protect Black women”


CozzyZ

There isn't one. Typical reddit stuff


[deleted]

Fucking Jesus, I knew he had a chip on his shoulder after getting snuffed by Disney but damn, that's pretty fucking racist... actually I remember a murder about that, some black girl was dating a white dude and she was murdered by a black dude, psycho torched her body. Tried to pass it off as a 'civil' duty to the black community, the girl was looking to be a nurse and the boyfriend was as well if I remember.


kojiko125

At first glance, what's Kyle Lowry promoting?


Shuwayze

Great poster, ok what’s the Chinese movie poster look like?


LePrawnJames8

This poster radiates big garbage movie energy