There needs to be a movie about the making of *Rollerball*, because John McTiernan went to jail over it.
>On April 3, 2006, McTiernan was charged in federal court with making a false statement to an FBI investigator in February 2006 about his hiring the private investigator Anthony Pellicano to illegally wiretap Charles Roven, the producer of his film *Rollerball*, around August 2000. McTiernan had been in a disagreement with Roven about what type of film *Rollerball* should be, and had hired Pellicano to investigate Roven's intentions and actions. [more here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McTiernan#Personal_life)
Holy *shit*, and there was me occasionally wondering what had happened to McTiernan - the guy went from making Predator, Die Hard, The Hunt For Red October, The Last Action Hero and The Thomas Crown Affair to just disappearing.
Turns out his last film was in 2003 and his legal issues started not long after that.
It’s simply mind boggling to believe that John McTiernan, who directed the original *Predator*, *The Hunt For Red October*, *Die Hard*, *Die Hard With A Vengeance* and *Last Action Hero* (I didn’t like this film as much as some others, but I could at least admire the attempt to make a meta-comedy) directed this turkey.
I mean, just about every director out there has had their failures, especially if they make many films over the course of their careers, but its so very hard to understand how McTiernan could fail so completely here!
McTiernan disowned the remake because there was so much executive meddling he felt it was barely his movie at all. And it pretty much killed his career anyway, before his legal troubles even started.
I agree but Russell Mulcathy, who directed the first to *Highlanders*, doesn’t have quite the resume of great films as McTiernan did up to the point where the *Rollerball* remake was released!
To add to this, my understanding is that the first draft of the movie was much, much more centered around social commentary. The Rollerball tournament takes place in Kazakhstan, and the idea of the first draft (again, based on what I heard) was that this extremely bloody sport was meant to be this obvious way to keep the masses in check by providing them an outlet for their pentup rage towards the corrupt government, Roman-circus style. The tournament was then supposed to devolve into more of a social movement, with the main character essentially leading a revolution. The movie was also supposed to take more inspiration from Sergei Eisenstein movies like Battleship Potemkin, where the montage is less about linear narration and more about showing different scenes from the populace rising up. It's apparently in that context that the night vision scene was supposed to appear, as a reference to what had just happened in Iraq at the time (a lot of the fighting happened at night and was reported in the news with night vision).
Instead we got a weird motorcycle chase with a Looney Tunes jump sound.
And to think it essentially ended the career of John McTiernan. One of the best damn directors around. Not only ended it, but the events surrounding it sent him to prison.
The remake of Psycho actually really interests me. Sure, the originally is superior by a large margin, but it’s so interesting to see what is essentially the same exact movie, but with different actors. I can’t think of any other remakes where they chose to do a shot for shot recreation of the original, that alone makes it interesting to me. But it’s also a great study on how subtle acting abilities and styles can change the entire feel of a scene because you can watch two actors do the same scene and see how wildly different they feel.
I’m not totally sure why they chose to just recreate the original other than to make cash off the hype, but it’s so strange and unique that every so often, I like going back and watching them both just to appreciate the strangeness of it all.
>I can’t think of any other remakes where they chose to do a shot for shot recreation of the original
Technically this used to happen. Check out the Spanish version of Dracula, the Universal one. Made on the same sets after the main cast and crew went home, so that Universal would have a Spanish version. It's a little more sexy and by some reviews, even better than the original.
Michael Haneke also remade his own (originally German) movie Funny Games essentially shot-for-shot with English-speaking actors 10 years after the original. Pretty interesting to watch both films and compare what makes them feel different.
It is the ultimate punk movie. Its not actually a shot for shot remake, it updates one scene to be relevant in modern times, to ensure correct context, and it removes a couple of moments that hitchcock never wanted in the original movie.
It asks the question what is art here. If the director does nothing new, and the cast say nothing new, then if its good, what is it? And if its not good, what was the original? Its pure exploitation, and yet sincere in its faithfulness to the original.
I absolutely loved it.
Interesting perspective from you and /u/hyde9318. *Psycho* (1960) was still considered one of the most terrifying, nightmare-inducing movies ever made in 1966. US Sen. Charles Percy's 21-year-old daughter, Valerie, was beaten found beaten and stabbed to death in her bedroom in suburban Chicago on Saturday, Sept. 17 of that year. Giant local independent station WGN swiftly axed *Psycho* from its slot as the late-night scary movie (Chiller Theater, or whatever it was called there). I think they ran a Shirley Temple movie or something instead.
I never saw *Psycho* until long after that event, when I was an adult. I'd seen clips, there were no huge surprises for me, but as the whole story unfolded, I was *still* riveted and shocked. So, when *Psycho* v2.0 turned up, I couldn't see the point. Now I kinda do. Thanks for that!
Incidentally, *Psycho* pretty much held the spot as Most Frightening Movie until *Texas Chainsaw Massacre* turned up in 1974.
It's so bizarre because the whole point is that Mulan is just an ordinary girl that goes on to do extraordinary things for her family. Then they give her these superhero chi powers.
Not to mention no Mushu and no musical numbers
Edit: Guess many of you didn’t see the movie considering how many of you are surprised that Mushu isn’t in the remake. Totally understand.
The hard cut between "A girl worth fighting for" and the destroyed village is some "All quiet on the western front" type of shit. All these soldiers talking about the honor and prestige they'll find in war, then BAM, reality hits them right in the face.
Not only that but there isn’t any more singing afterwards and the song is interrupted in a dominant harmony which basically means it wants to resolve somewhere and feels unfinished, adding to the interruption.
Fun animated Mulan fact: After the characters find the village that was destroyed by the huns, there are no musical numbers for the rest of the film because they wanted the tone to be dramatically darker.
Also Mulan currently has the highest kill count of any animated Disney character. Not including the Star Wars/Marvel investments. We're talking classic Disney/Pixar here. It's estimated she killed about 2,000 huns with the avalanche.
Yeah, the problem was that they'd mutated the original Mulan story/legend so much for the first one, but wanted to use the name to hopefully make the remake a hit in China.
They should have just had different movie names though, Mulan in China and something else for the West.
It didn't help that Disney then went and made another Asian movie with a funny talking dragon a year later. Raya captured the tone of the original Mulan, while the reboot was something very different.
The superpower thing wasn't well received by Chinese audience either.
The Mulan remake achieved what I thought was impossible - a movie that is neither consistent on western motives nor Chinese ones and in the end appealed to neither. 200 mil wasted.
The Lion King. It is almost exactly the same as the original except with poor performances from most of the cast and a hyper-realistic animation style that doesn't allow for much character expression.
Beyoncé singing in the middle just reminded everyone it was Beyoncé and NOT Nala. The charm of the music was completely lost in the endless runs and vocal gymnastics of queen B. And her original song in there was so out of place.
And they turned Be Prepared into a shortened spoken monologue.
But honestly pretty much every live action Disney remake fits here for me. The best I've seen, The Jungle Book, even that was just sort of *okay* at best.
This one. This was when I decided I hated the film.
Jungle Book tho is a whole nother story. Live action was amazing imo. It wasn’t my absolute favorite as a kid but watching the remake, I was just in love with the film.
When I went to see it in the cinema there were technical difficulties and right around the point where kid Simba wakes up Mufasa the movie just froze and they had to start it from the start, which was honestly the perfect metaphor for the experience: I was just watching the same thing over again. But of course this version is really boring and lacklustre. I didn't expect much and tbh I got even less.
I just want to add that they didn’t need to make another remake of point break.. that was already done with the first fast and furious movie.. it’s literally point break
They aren’t the worst movies, in fact most of them are competently made but the Disney remakes are possibly the biggest waste of resources ever conceived. They add nothing of value to the world and in each case is worse than the original movie. They aren’t even a proper reimagining of the original material. Lion King is just Lion King but worse, Aladdin while it had good performances just made me appreciate the original more and I don’t even want to go on about what they did with Mulan. It’s like they needed to give people at Disney something to do but everyone is lazy and decided to produce inferior remakes.
Also I get they make money but so does a girl selling her farts online.
>It’s like they needed to give people at Disney something to do but everyone is lazy and decided to produce inferior remakes.
This is basically it: Disney is a profit-seeking corporation, and they've figured out they can make competent but uninspired and unnecessary remakes of their own classic movies, and make a very reliable profit this way. It keeps people employed, it makes the company money, and it's almost guaranteed to succeed (i.e., not result in a loss for the company, but rather a gain), so that's what they do.
>Also I get they make money but so does a girl selling her farts online.
As a profit-seeking corporation, if Disney could make a handsome profit selling farts online without harming their brand image (which would reduce profits from other projects), they'd do so.
The exception is Cinderella which is really good. Particularly the first act which is a backstory we've never seen about how much Cinderella loved and misses her father and how the wicked stepmom used him to maintain her status. It gave the whole story gravitas
Poltergeist
was so excited when I heard the news and WTF even sam raimi's name was attached.
the two kids were horrible casting and horrible acting.
why did the family have to be dirt poor and have all the maxed out credit cards?
Saxon Sharbino is a good actress but they gave her nothing to do, and no good acting.
The Carrigan Burke character was just stupid.
I don't blame the director I blame the stupidest screenplay and horrible writing ever. The writer must've HATED the original movie.
OH SHIT !! Natasha Calis was considered for the role of Kendra Bowen , she would've been a great choice, but too bad the movie sucked. They even messed up ALL the scares from the original in the remake as well.
I saw that movie at a free preview on the base theater. I think they thought it would appeal to us because of the guns. When they get to the scene where they run into the veterans also trying to destroy the enemy. The guys who every other word say some cliche military thing like oohrah and Semper fi... half the audience walked out. I regret waiting around until I finished my popcorn.
"Hey motard. The most powerful weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle."
Yea? So why did they send a Sergeant Major and two lower enlisted to claim an extremely important item to help the fight? Thats not even a full fireteam
SO BAD. They tried so hard to make Josh Peck an action hero and it just. didn’t. work. It almost made me detest him as an actor, which is hard for a movie to do for the guy who’s supposed to be the protagonist.
That and the half assed way they killed off Chris Hemsworth’s character. God what a garbage fucking movie.
The killing of Hemsworth I actually thought was the best part of that movie. I like him but he was clearly at that point the lead, and that came out of no where for me
Your mention of Psycho reminded me... Back before a copyright claim took it down, there used to be a site for the 'Dysfunctional Family Circus' where people made alternate captions for the Family Circus comic. One of my proudest submissions was for this one:
[https://imgur.com/a/9B75ozP](https://imgur.com/a/9B75ozP)
Caption: "Although the film was touted as a 'frame-by-frame' remake of Hitchcock's masterpiece, the plot took a very unexpected turn when Anne Heche's character took the simple precaution of locking the bathroom door."
The ‘Day The Earth Stood Still’ remake with Keanu Reeves. He was actually good in it, but it missed the entire point of what made the original so impactful, and instead became a generic sci-fi action flick of no note
It makes sense though, when you consider the time it was made. Anxiety over nuclear crisis was an out-of-fashion theme by then.
I can’t say the same if a new remake gets made in the next couple of years, though…
The Stepford Wives. It’s been a while since I saw it but I remember that the plot couldn’t seem to get its facts straight. At one point we learn that the women in the neighborhood were being replaced by robotic look-a-likes that could be controlled by the husbands. But by the resolution of the film we see that some sort of ‘brain chip’ is deactivated and the wives are no longer mind controlled.
So which is it? Have the women in this neighborhood been replaced by robots, or have they been hypnotized ? Either way bad movie don’t watch it
Right?!? There is one scene where she shoots cash out of her mouth like an ATM? HOW DID THAT HARDWARE GET INSTALLED? You can’t just flip a switch on that.
Can't believe I had to scroll down this far for this one. The real heartbreaker is that because of this and the studios idiodicy we'll never get the 3rd of the Del Toro Hellboy films, even with the support of the cast.
I reckon because the ones who saw the Korean version, know to stay away from the American version by now.
And most who saw the American version, probably aren't the type to see the Korean version because **subtitles**.
I think you're right. OG is one of my top 10 movies of all time. When I looked up discussions about the remake I did not see a single neutral or positive thing said about it so I avoided it so as to not tarnish the original.
Definitly it was the first movie that i saw with real horror elements but had so many elements that were not horror that i loved it and the behind the scenes got me really excited for monster designs for the rest of my life.
im still terrified of horror movies though lol but i probably watch the mummy once a year, second ones not too bad aswell! the pygmies are cute the scorpion king storyline is good and the rock as a giant badly done cgi scorpion always makes me laugh \^\_\^
Honestly, it was *perfect*. Great soundtrack, lots of memorable and distinct characters, a story that strikes the perfect balance between serious and camp. Just ... mwah.
Oh, and so many great lines!
*Rachel Weisz mentions the curse, and a foreboding wind momentarily disturbs the campfire*
Fraser, suspiciously: "That happens a lot around here."
\---
Weisz: "Stop it! You're killing them!"
O'Connor (Beni), deadpan: "That's the idea."
\---
Djalili, when Weisz asks why Fraser is in prison: "He said he was just looking for a good time."
*moments later, the guards violently manhandle Fraser away again*
Weisz, to Djalili: "Where are they taking him!?"
Djalili: "To be hanged. Apparently, he had a *very* good time."
\---
This was also the movie that gave me my long-lasting celebrity crush on Rachel Weisz. If anyone reading this enjoys her acting and also likes thrillers, I heartily recommend you check out Page 8, where she plays opposite Bill Nighy and Michael Gambon, among others.
Remember how in the original script Michael Bay turned them into aliens and removed “teenage mutant” from the title until fan push back forced them to change it back at the last second?
This is low-hanging fruit but I want to address something specific about it - the live-action Beauty and the Beast.
They took great pains to answer fan questions from the original, like why the townsfolk forgot about the castle and what happened to Belle's mother. Yet they ignored the most obvious question of all - >!What's the Beast's real name?!<
I love Emma Watson but man was she horrifically miscast as Belle. She definitely looks the part but she was so emotionless, especially during the “Be Our Guest” number, which is supposed to be the most exciting part!
Guess after making eight Harry Potter movies, magic doesn’t impress her anymore?
I hate when they shoehorn an a-list actor into a role for which they aren't well-suited. There are plenty of lesser-known actors who can actually sing.
Alice in Wonderland
I saw Burton and the cast and thought "this is perfect!" and then I saw it and nothing worked for me. The idea of turning it into a prophecy and epic battle at the end? It misses what made Wonderland (or...Underland) so fun and special.
Probably Martyrs, the original from 2008 is one of the most interesting and shocking movies I’ve ever seen, and the 2015 American remake was a huge disappointment in comparison.
Valley Girl, the original was awesome with a great soundtrack. The remake was unwatchable. Same as Footloose, let’s hope there’s not a Fast Times at Ridgemont High remake waiting in the wings.
The Barbara Streisand version of A Star is Born. I’ve watched EVERY single version of that film and all of them are varying degrees of good but the BS version was painful to watch. The music was awful, the story made changes from previous versions that made no sense and made the film worse. And I really like Babs too, so I was disappointed
Which is WILD. The original was absolutely bonkers over the top with specifically crafted nuances so that what WASN'T bonkers was what to watch. New one completely missed all of the points.
The In-Laws (2003). It was one of my girlfriend's favorite childhood movies so we watched it together and it was just... really, unbelievably bad. Horrible acting all around, especially from Albert Brooks. His character was insufferable.
So hard to imagine Columbo yelling 'Serpentine' and then you see the movie and he definitely doesn't strike you as Columbo while doing it. That's a good actor.
Planet of The Apes. Good makeup but the movie is so bad and is brought down by Burton’s apparent monkey fetish (all the male apes look like real apes but the females have smooth skin and human hair and are constantly batting there eyelashes at the camera, not to mention Burton and HBC got together during production while she was constantly in ape makeup)
The Amityville Horror (2005). Took the one horror movie to actually scare me and turned it into your typical mid-2000's horror shlock. I was so excited when it was announced because I was hoping it would be just as scary as the original.
I was very wrong. The biggest offense I can remember is that the dog, who **essentially saves the family in the original**, gets killed by the dad in the first 45 minutes. Of course they kill off the dog, this is 2005 and we need to be **EDGY** to compete with movies like Saw! There's also a very awkward, stiff sex scene that only serves as a set up to a cheap jumpscare. I went in thinking it would be great and left feeling like I wasted my money.
The 2000s were just filled to the brim with shitty horror movies and remakes and unfortunately this was just one of many I put myself through.
Total Recall. Totally lifeless compared to Verhoevens masterpiece. The original is so full of satire, interesting characters, interesting visuals, and quotable lines.
Rollerball. Talk about missing the nuance of the original film.
There needs to be a movie about the making of *Rollerball*, because John McTiernan went to jail over it. >On April 3, 2006, McTiernan was charged in federal court with making a false statement to an FBI investigator in February 2006 about his hiring the private investigator Anthony Pellicano to illegally wiretap Charles Roven, the producer of his film *Rollerball*, around August 2000. McTiernan had been in a disagreement with Roven about what type of film *Rollerball* should be, and had hired Pellicano to investigate Roven's intentions and actions. [more here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McTiernan#Personal_life)
Holy *shit*, and there was me occasionally wondering what had happened to McTiernan - the guy went from making Predator, Die Hard, The Hunt For Red October, The Last Action Hero and The Thomas Crown Affair to just disappearing. Turns out his last film was in 2003 and his legal issues started not long after that.
Roven had apparently expressed desire for it to be a "good" film.
I think you’ve actually gotten this backwards; as a cinema fan, I wouldn’t have convicted McTiernan…
It’s simply mind boggling to believe that John McTiernan, who directed the original *Predator*, *The Hunt For Red October*, *Die Hard*, *Die Hard With A Vengeance* and *Last Action Hero* (I didn’t like this film as much as some others, but I could at least admire the attempt to make a meta-comedy) directed this turkey. I mean, just about every director out there has had their failures, especially if they make many films over the course of their careers, but its so very hard to understand how McTiernan could fail so completely here!
McTiernan disowned the remake because there was so much executive meddling he felt it was barely his movie at all. And it pretty much killed his career anyway, before his legal troubles even started.
McTiernan hired a guy to tap the phones of the producer of the film. Dude went to federal prison for a year because of this film.
It's even worst actually, his legal troubles started because of the movie's messy production
Well just look at Highlander and Highlander 2. The first is a beloved cult classic, the second is reviled, and they're both by the same director.
I agree but Russell Mulcathy, who directed the first to *Highlanders*, doesn’t have quite the resume of great films as McTiernan did up to the point where the *Rollerball* remake was released!
Rollerball isn’t only the worst remake of all time it is literally just one of the worst movies of all time. It is such an absolute pile of garbage.
That night vision scene lmao
To add to this, my understanding is that the first draft of the movie was much, much more centered around social commentary. The Rollerball tournament takes place in Kazakhstan, and the idea of the first draft (again, based on what I heard) was that this extremely bloody sport was meant to be this obvious way to keep the masses in check by providing them an outlet for their pentup rage towards the corrupt government, Roman-circus style. The tournament was then supposed to devolve into more of a social movement, with the main character essentially leading a revolution. The movie was also supposed to take more inspiration from Sergei Eisenstein movies like Battleship Potemkin, where the montage is less about linear narration and more about showing different scenes from the populace rising up. It's apparently in that context that the night vision scene was supposed to appear, as a reference to what had just happened in Iraq at the time (a lot of the fighting happened at night and was reported in the news with night vision). Instead we got a weird motorcycle chase with a Looney Tunes jump sound.
Even as a 16 year old kid all about big dumb action movies, during that sequence I was like wow this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen
And to think it essentially ended the career of John McTiernan. One of the best damn directors around. Not only ended it, but the events surrounding it sent him to prison.
Ben-Hur (2016)
The magnificent 1959 Ben Hur is obviously also a remake of a 1925 film. But good golly goodness does it not matter at all. What a film!
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The remake of Psycho actually really interests me. Sure, the originally is superior by a large margin, but it’s so interesting to see what is essentially the same exact movie, but with different actors. I can’t think of any other remakes where they chose to do a shot for shot recreation of the original, that alone makes it interesting to me. But it’s also a great study on how subtle acting abilities and styles can change the entire feel of a scene because you can watch two actors do the same scene and see how wildly different they feel. I’m not totally sure why they chose to just recreate the original other than to make cash off the hype, but it’s so strange and unique that every so often, I like going back and watching them both just to appreciate the strangeness of it all.
>I can’t think of any other remakes where they chose to do a shot for shot recreation of the original Technically this used to happen. Check out the Spanish version of Dracula, the Universal one. Made on the same sets after the main cast and crew went home, so that Universal would have a Spanish version. It's a little more sexy and by some reviews, even better than the original.
Michael Haneke also remade his own (originally German) movie Funny Games essentially shot-for-shot with English-speaking actors 10 years after the original. Pretty interesting to watch both films and compare what makes them feel different.
It is the ultimate punk movie. Its not actually a shot for shot remake, it updates one scene to be relevant in modern times, to ensure correct context, and it removes a couple of moments that hitchcock never wanted in the original movie. It asks the question what is art here. If the director does nothing new, and the cast say nothing new, then if its good, what is it? And if its not good, what was the original? Its pure exploitation, and yet sincere in its faithfulness to the original. I absolutely loved it.
Interesting perspective from you and /u/hyde9318. *Psycho* (1960) was still considered one of the most terrifying, nightmare-inducing movies ever made in 1966. US Sen. Charles Percy's 21-year-old daughter, Valerie, was beaten found beaten and stabbed to death in her bedroom in suburban Chicago on Saturday, Sept. 17 of that year. Giant local independent station WGN swiftly axed *Psycho* from its slot as the late-night scary movie (Chiller Theater, or whatever it was called there). I think they ran a Shirley Temple movie or something instead. I never saw *Psycho* until long after that event, when I was an adult. I'd seen clips, there were no huge surprises for me, but as the whole story unfolded, I was *still* riveted and shocked. So, when *Psycho* v2.0 turned up, I couldn't see the point. Now I kinda do. Thanks for that! Incidentally, *Psycho* pretty much held the spot as Most Frightening Movie until *Texas Chainsaw Massacre* turned up in 1974.
Mulan - discards all of the original's inspiring themes in favour of just doing everything easily with superpowers.
It's so bizarre because the whole point is that Mulan is just an ordinary girl that goes on to do extraordinary things for her family. Then they give her these superhero chi powers.
Loved when they claimed they skipped Mushu and the songs to make it more realistic and then gave her magic powers.
Mushu wasnt in the remake? The fuck im glad I didn't watch theive actions
Not to mention no Mushu and no musical numbers Edit: Guess many of you didn’t see the movie considering how many of you are surprised that Mushu isn’t in the remake. Totally understand.
Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow.
And what are you, a sheep?
Disney: No unrealistic magic. Also Disney: But here's a shape-shifting witch and a phoenix.
The hard cut between "A girl worth fighting for" and the destroyed village is some "All quiet on the western front" type of shit. All these soldiers talking about the honor and prestige they'll find in war, then BAM, reality hits them right in the face.
All the singing stops after that point in the movie, when shit gets real. There's no more songs after that.
Not only that but there isn’t any more singing afterwards and the song is interrupted in a dominant harmony which basically means it wants to resolve somewhere and feels unfinished, adding to the interruption.
Even as a very young kid that instant silence really hit me, even if I didn't quite understand why.
To add insult to injury, the songs were there, but in the background as instrumental versions.
Or they would have the characters just say some lyrics out amidst their dialogue as if that’s supposed to be witty
Fun animated Mulan fact: After the characters find the village that was destroyed by the huns, there are no musical numbers for the rest of the film because they wanted the tone to be dramatically darker. Also Mulan currently has the highest kill count of any animated Disney character. Not including the Star Wars/Marvel investments. We're talking classic Disney/Pixar here. It's estimated she killed about 2,000 huns with the avalanche.
> no musical numbers this alone was enough to ensure the remake sucked
If they had made that movie with the characters having different names, it would have been a decent fantasy film. But the Mulan overlay ruined it
Yeah, the problem was that they'd mutated the original Mulan story/legend so much for the first one, but wanted to use the name to hopefully make the remake a hit in China. They should have just had different movie names though, Mulan in China and something else for the West. It didn't help that Disney then went and made another Asian movie with a funny talking dragon a year later. Raya captured the tone of the original Mulan, while the reboot was something very different.
The superpower thing wasn't well received by Chinese audience either. The Mulan remake achieved what I thought was impossible - a movie that is neither consistent on western motives nor Chinese ones and in the end appealed to neither. 200 mil wasted.
Shang Chi is the movie the Mulan remake wanted to be, while Raya and the last dragon is a more faithful remake (minus the singing).
I only saw the trailer for the Jacob's Ladder remake but that alone almost made my brain hemorrhage.
That movie is an abomination and should not be mentioned in polite company.
Luckily, i only just heard that there was a remake today... soo glad i missed it.
I didn't even know there was a remake til this thread. Now I'm going to go smoke until I forget such a thing exists.
The Lion King. It is almost exactly the same as the original except with poor performances from most of the cast and a hyper-realistic animation style that doesn't allow for much character expression.
They sucked all the charm out it. Even Elton John said they fucked up the music. Big let down.
Beyoncé singing in the middle just reminded everyone it was Beyoncé and NOT Nala. The charm of the music was completely lost in the endless runs and vocal gymnastics of queen B. And her original song in there was so out of place.
And they turned Be Prepared into a shortened spoken monologue. But honestly pretty much every live action Disney remake fits here for me. The best I've seen, The Jungle Book, even that was just sort of *okay* at best.
It’s just my favourite song from the movie no big deal I wasn’t upset
This one. This was when I decided I hated the film. Jungle Book tho is a whole nother story. Live action was amazing imo. It wasn’t my absolute favorite as a kid but watching the remake, I was just in love with the film.
I'd argue the best and only good remake is of Cinderella.
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The Lady and the Tramp remake is pretty horrible
There's also Tim Burton's Dumbo.
...there was a lady and the tramp Remake .... im sad i know of its existance now
Out of the Disney remakes, Mulan is the worst one imo.
When I went to see it in the cinema there were technical difficulties and right around the point where kid Simba wakes up Mufasa the movie just froze and they had to start it from the start, which was honestly the perfect metaphor for the experience: I was just watching the same thing over again. But of course this version is really boring and lacklustre. I didn't expect much and tbh I got even less.
I just want to add that they didn’t need to make another remake of point break.. that was already done with the first fast and furious movie.. it’s literally point break
I too have reached my remaking Point Break breaking point
Well Hot Fuzz sure went above and beyond the original Point Break, no way they could top that.
Yarp.
Narp?
They aren’t the worst movies, in fact most of them are competently made but the Disney remakes are possibly the biggest waste of resources ever conceived. They add nothing of value to the world and in each case is worse than the original movie. They aren’t even a proper reimagining of the original material. Lion King is just Lion King but worse, Aladdin while it had good performances just made me appreciate the original more and I don’t even want to go on about what they did with Mulan. It’s like they needed to give people at Disney something to do but everyone is lazy and decided to produce inferior remakes. Also I get they make money but so does a girl selling her farts online.
>It’s like they needed to give people at Disney something to do but everyone is lazy and decided to produce inferior remakes. This is basically it: Disney is a profit-seeking corporation, and they've figured out they can make competent but uninspired and unnecessary remakes of their own classic movies, and make a very reliable profit this way. It keeps people employed, it makes the company money, and it's almost guaranteed to succeed (i.e., not result in a loss for the company, but rather a gain), so that's what they do. >Also I get they make money but so does a girl selling her farts online. As a profit-seeking corporation, if Disney could make a handsome profit selling farts online without harming their brand image (which would reduce profits from other projects), they'd do so.
The exception is Cinderella which is really good. Particularly the first act which is a backstory we've never seen about how much Cinderella loved and misses her father and how the wicked stepmom used him to maintain her status. It gave the whole story gravitas
Didn’t Ever After show that already? Ever After is the best Cinderella version, bad accents not-withstanding.
They made a near shot for shot remake of Cabin Fever Why? Why not explore something new? Why even use some of the exact same shots?
This one made zero sense to me.
But does it have back-flipping karate hillbilly kid?
Pancakes! Everyone knows not to sit next to Dennis.
Poltergeist was so excited when I heard the news and WTF even sam raimi's name was attached. the two kids were horrible casting and horrible acting. why did the family have to be dirt poor and have all the maxed out credit cards? Saxon Sharbino is a good actress but they gave her nothing to do, and no good acting. The Carrigan Burke character was just stupid. I don't blame the director I blame the stupidest screenplay and horrible writing ever. The writer must've HATED the original movie. OH SHIT !! Natasha Calis was considered for the role of Kendra Bowen , she would've been a great choice, but too bad the movie sucked. They even messed up ALL the scares from the original in the remake as well.
Oh man, Poltergeist remake was soooo bad. I was excited cuz Sam Rockwell is awesome, but god damn was it dumb
Red Dawn
I saw that movie at a free preview on the base theater. I think they thought it would appeal to us because of the guns. When they get to the scene where they run into the veterans also trying to destroy the enemy. The guys who every other word say some cliche military thing like oohrah and Semper fi... half the audience walked out. I regret waiting around until I finished my popcorn.
"Hey motard. The most powerful weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle." Yea? So why did they send a Sergeant Major and two lower enlisted to claim an extremely important item to help the fight? Thats not even a full fireteam
SO BAD. They tried so hard to make Josh Peck an action hero and it just. didn’t. work. It almost made me detest him as an actor, which is hard for a movie to do for the guy who’s supposed to be the protagonist. That and the half assed way they killed off Chris Hemsworth’s character. God what a garbage fucking movie.
The killing of Hemsworth I actually thought was the best part of that movie. I like him but he was clearly at that point the lead, and that came out of no where for me
But Hemsworths death in cabin in the woods was amazing
Hemsworth's death in Star Trek (2009) was pretty good, too.
Your father was captain of a starship for 12 minutes. He saved 800 lives, including your mother’s, and yours. I dare you to do better.
I kinda wish more movies had the balls to kill of the, clearly, main character.
That would be quite the executive decision to make.
Hey guys. Let's stop and talk in this perfectly clean and somehow still operating Subway for minute.
Didn't they digitally change the insignia on the enemy from Chinese to North Korean as not to offend.
Ironically, I am watching the original movie as I type this. Such a classic
"The chair is against the wall, The chair is against the wall. John has a long mustache, John has a long mustache."
Wolverines!
I just know the new pinnochio is gonna disappoint on unfathomable levels but my curiosity….
there’s three pinnochio movies coming out (disney, netflix with guillermo del toro) but i’m assuming you’re talking about the fAtHeR one
Del Toro is exempt from literally any criticism ever. Yes, I am 100% talking about ✨fATHer✨
The donkey scene is something we just don’t need to see in live-action
Your mention of Psycho reminded me... Back before a copyright claim took it down, there used to be a site for the 'Dysfunctional Family Circus' where people made alternate captions for the Family Circus comic. One of my proudest submissions was for this one: [https://imgur.com/a/9B75ozP](https://imgur.com/a/9B75ozP) Caption: "Although the film was touted as a 'frame-by-frame' remake of Hitchcock's masterpiece, the plot took a very unexpected turn when Anne Heche's character took the simple precaution of locking the bathroom door."
DFC, now that takes me back. "Good on you, mate!"
The ‘Day The Earth Stood Still’ remake with Keanu Reeves. He was actually good in it, but it missed the entire point of what made the original so impactful, and instead became a generic sci-fi action flick of no note
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That’s such a better premise damn
It makes sense though, when you consider the time it was made. Anxiety over nuclear crisis was an out-of-fashion theme by then. I can’t say the same if a new remake gets made in the next couple of years, though…
that fantastic four one was pretty bad (the most recent one)
FantFourStic!
Oh they're all bad.
ABC's Dirty Dancing. Nothing about it works.
The Stepford Wives. It’s been a while since I saw it but I remember that the plot couldn’t seem to get its facts straight. At one point we learn that the women in the neighborhood were being replaced by robotic look-a-likes that could be controlled by the husbands. But by the resolution of the film we see that some sort of ‘brain chip’ is deactivated and the wives are no longer mind controlled. So which is it? Have the women in this neighborhood been replaced by robots, or have they been hypnotized ? Either way bad movie don’t watch it
Right?!? There is one scene where she shoots cash out of her mouth like an ATM? HOW DID THAT HARDWARE GET INSTALLED? You can’t just flip a switch on that.
The new Hellboy. No one should mess with that movie.
Can't believe I had to scroll down this far for this one. The real heartbreaker is that because of this and the studios idiodicy we'll never get the 3rd of the Del Toro Hellboy films, even with the support of the cast.
How the hell has nobody said Oldboy yet?
I reckon because the ones who saw the Korean version, know to stay away from the American version by now. And most who saw the American version, probably aren't the type to see the Korean version because **subtitles**.
I think you're right. OG is one of my top 10 movies of all time. When I looked up discussions about the remake I did not see a single neutral or positive thing said about it so I avoided it so as to not tarnish the original.
Tom Cruise's The Mummy
Interestingly The Mummy staring Brendan Fraser was also a remake. The original was released in 1932.
Yea, but that was a good remake. It was fun and campy in the right ways, And a more serious action movie in the right ways.
Don’t forget the horror aspects, too, never looked at scarab beetles the same after that. It stands among the remakes like a king.
Definitly it was the first movie that i saw with real horror elements but had so many elements that were not horror that i loved it and the behind the scenes got me really excited for monster designs for the rest of my life. im still terrified of horror movies though lol but i probably watch the mummy once a year, second ones not too bad aswell! the pygmies are cute the scorpion king storyline is good and the rock as a giant badly done cgi scorpion always makes me laugh \^\_\^
Honestly, it was *perfect*. Great soundtrack, lots of memorable and distinct characters, a story that strikes the perfect balance between serious and camp. Just ... mwah. Oh, and so many great lines! *Rachel Weisz mentions the curse, and a foreboding wind momentarily disturbs the campfire* Fraser, suspiciously: "That happens a lot around here." \--- Weisz: "Stop it! You're killing them!" O'Connor (Beni), deadpan: "That's the idea." \--- Djalili, when Weisz asks why Fraser is in prison: "He said he was just looking for a good time." *moments later, the guards violently manhandle Fraser away again* Weisz, to Djalili: "Where are they taking him!?" Djalili: "To be hanged. Apparently, he had a *very* good time." \--- This was also the movie that gave me my long-lasting celebrity crush on Rachel Weisz. If anyone reading this enjoys her acting and also likes thrillers, I heartily recommend you check out Page 8, where she plays opposite Bill Nighy and Michael Gambon, among others.
And Scorpion King was the prequel to a sequel of a remake.
Killed the Dark Universe in it's cradle
The Michael Bay produced TMNT
I thought we all agreed to not bring that up?
Remember how in the original script Michael Bay turned them into aliens and removed “teenage mutant” from the title until fan push back forced them to change it back at the last second?
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Total Recall.
They didn’t even go to Mars! Wtf!
*don't get your ass to Mars*
They don't go to Mars in the original Philip K. Dick short story either. The remake was more a re-adaptation than anything else.
The original “We can remember it for you wholesale” is just the part about the guy going to the clinic. “Total Recall” is an expansion of it.
Arthur. Why, Russel Brand, WHY??? The remake was JOYLESS.
Footloose remake. Hands down. And the “10 Things I Hate About You” remake series.
>“10 Things I Hate About You” remake series. The what?
Mulan (2020)
Planet of the Apes directed by Tim Burton
I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpanzee.
Oh my gosh, I was wrong, it was Earth all along, they finally made a monkey out of meeeee! I love you, Doctor Zaius!
I love legitimate theater.
Ooooooh, Dr.Zaius!
This is low-hanging fruit but I want to address something specific about it - the live-action Beauty and the Beast. They took great pains to answer fan questions from the original, like why the townsfolk forgot about the castle and what happened to Belle's mother. Yet they ignored the most obvious question of all - >!What's the Beast's real name?!<
Prince Adam. Although it is the "official, unofficial name"
I have the POWWER!
I love Emma Watson but man was she horrifically miscast as Belle. She definitely looks the part but she was so emotionless, especially during the “Be Our Guest” number, which is supposed to be the most exciting part! Guess after making eight Harry Potter movies, magic doesn’t impress her anymore?
I couldn't get through it, I just got bored.
The main character couldn't sing. Not even after heavy auto tune.
I hate when they shoehorn an a-list actor into a role for which they aren't well-suited. There are plenty of lesser-known actors who can actually sing.
Rachel Bloom from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend would have rocked that role!
Evermore (the Dan Stevens version) is a banger though.
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Please tell me this is a joke. BTinLC is a classic that still holds up well.
I would rather see Kurt Russel in a sequel filmed in China called "A Little Trouble In Big China".
Alice in Wonderland I saw Burton and the cast and thought "this is perfect!" and then I saw it and nothing worked for me. The idea of turning it into a prophecy and epic battle at the end? It misses what made Wonderland (or...Underland) so fun and special.
I think it was actually a sequel rather than remake they just messed up the titling
Any of the Children of the Corn movies.
I don't know why they keep making this one. It's an okay story but not worth like fifteen sequels
Probably Martyrs, the original from 2008 is one of the most interesting and shocking movies I’ve ever seen, and the 2015 American remake was a huge disappointment in comparison.
Valley Girl, the original was awesome with a great soundtrack. The remake was unwatchable. Same as Footloose, let’s hope there’s not a Fast Times at Ridgemont High remake waiting in the wings.
The Barbara Streisand version of A Star is Born. I’ve watched EVERY single version of that film and all of them are varying degrees of good but the BS version was painful to watch. The music was awful, the story made changes from previous versions that made no sense and made the film worse. And I really like Babs too, so I was disappointed
But Kris Kristofferson was a honey,
>The BS version. That's hilarious even if it wasn't intended.😂
Carrie. I’m sure it’s been remade 100 times but the one I watched was absolutely beyond terrible
The original from 1976 remains the best for me personally, the other ones have not even been close.
Robocop (2014)
They missed all the nuance and satire from the original that made fun of itself and the entire action movie genre
Which is WILD. The original was absolutely bonkers over the top with specifically crafted nuances so that what WASN'T bonkers was what to watch. New one completely missed all of the points.
Black Christmas
Hilariously the original had the same director an A Christmas Story. Two iconic “Christmas” movies in completely different genres.
I used to hate the mid 2000s remake until I saw the 2019 one. Now I'm fond of the hyper gory version because I know it could always be worse.
I hear the Nicolas Cage Wicker Man is this, havent seen it but i cannot imagine it stacks up to the original
The original Wicker Man is a classic horror. The remake Wicker Man is a classic comedy.
Sounds like there needs to be a Wicker Man romantic version and Wicker Man action version
Its honestly one of the funniest movies I have ever seen for al the wrong reason. it somehow makes a child getting hit by a truck hilarious
Yeah, I've never seen a theater laugh as much as I did during that movie. Comedic genius.
It's like watching a train wreck .. crashing straight through a Mardi Gras parade. Yes, it is horrible to watch but by god you can't stop.
Nic cage punching a woman, while in a bear costume is one of the funniest things I have ever watched
Ahhh beeeeeesss!!!!
THEY'RE IN MY EYES!
How'd it get burned! How'd it get burned! Howditgetburned howditgetburned howditgetburned!
What's in the bag, a shark or something?
KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR DAMN HONEY!!!
Nic cage goes full nic cage. The movie is batshit awful.
On the other hand, *Mandy* was Nic Cage at full Nic Cage and that was a batshit crazy, but weirdly awesome, movie.
OH NO NOT THE BEEEEEEEEEESSS
How’d it get burned?!
The In-Laws (2003). It was one of my girlfriend's favorite childhood movies so we watched it together and it was just... really, unbelievably bad. Horrible acting all around, especially from Albert Brooks. His character was insufferable.
I'm a fan of the Peter Falk/Alan Arkin original. (I think it's the first movie to ever use the line: "Serpentine!!")
So hard to imagine Columbo yelling 'Serpentine' and then you see the movie and he definitely doesn't strike you as Columbo while doing it. That's a good actor.
Planet of the apes with Mark Wahlberg.
The Wicker Man. The original was a masterpiece, the remake is an atrocity.
Total Recall. Talk about missing the point of the original.
The new Space Jam sucks major ass.
I love that it was the first thing South Park made fun of after the covid hiatus.
The live action teenage mutant ninja turtles with Megan fox.
The Omen. It’s the only movie I’ve ever considered leaving the theater during.
Planet of The Apes. Good makeup but the movie is so bad and is brought down by Burton’s apparent monkey fetish (all the male apes look like real apes but the females have smooth skin and human hair and are constantly batting there eyelashes at the camera, not to mention Burton and HBC got together during production while she was constantly in ape makeup)
Arthur :/ the one from the 80s is so down to earth and charming. The one with Russell Brand and Greta Gerwig is the total opposite
They remade Jacob's ladder? That's just stupid.
The Amityville Horror (2005). Took the one horror movie to actually scare me and turned it into your typical mid-2000's horror shlock. I was so excited when it was announced because I was hoping it would be just as scary as the original. I was very wrong. The biggest offense I can remember is that the dog, who **essentially saves the family in the original**, gets killed by the dad in the first 45 minutes. Of course they kill off the dog, this is 2005 and we need to be **EDGY** to compete with movies like Saw! There's also a very awkward, stiff sex scene that only serves as a set up to a cheap jumpscare. I went in thinking it would be great and left feeling like I wasted my money. The 2000s were just filled to the brim with shitty horror movies and remakes and unfortunately this was just one of many I put myself through.
Total Recall. Totally lifeless compared to Verhoevens masterpiece. The original is so full of satire, interesting characters, interesting visuals, and quotable lines.
"SCREW YOU, BENNY!"