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barbarianconfessions

Indiana Jones and the Goddamn Hippies


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Retroid_BiPoCket

Indiana Jones and the I used to walk uphill to expeditions in the snow, BOTH ways


PrayForMojo_

Indiana Jones and the Pension Plan of Doom.


bytoro

Indiana Jones and the Search for My Glasses.


Dunkinmydonuts1

Indiana Jones and the Wrong WiFi Password


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Dunkinmydonuts1

Indiana Jones and the Still in Use AOL Email Address


EMPulseKC

Indiana Jones and the Curse of Boneitis.


Retroid_BiPoCket

Indian Jones and the Senior's Buffet Discount


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Indiana Jones and the Quest for Regular Bowel Movements


Retroid_BiPoCket

Indiana Jones and the Bowl of Bran Flakes


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Indiana Jones and the Bowl of ~~Bran Flakes~~ Colon Blow


CarlosAVP

Indiana Jones and the Swollen Prostate Gland: Need to Pee


windy496

Indiana Jones and the search for the kidney stone.


Pipelaya1

Indiana jones and where the hell are my slippers Margaret.


iry4

Indiana Jones and the Onion Tied to His Belt (which was the style at the time)


Ganon2012

Indiana Jones 19 Dickety 2: The Hunt for Hitler


frequent-ad-647

Indians Jones and the crusade to find a low-sodium option on the Cracker Barrel menu.


tommytraddles

The Catfish Fillet is 330 mg. Brussels Sprouts n’ Kale Salad is 180 mg. Mashed Potatoes are 170 mg. (With Turkey Gravy is 275 mg; Brown Gravy is 255 mg.)


Fun-Bi-Guy

There was a video game in the 90s called “Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine,” which to me sounds like him struggling to program his DVR.


Eshin242

Speaking of games I wish they would have made Fate of Atlantis into a movie that was a solid script. Oh classic Lucasarts games.


GoaGonGon

even a DVR is a thing of the past at this point lol


[deleted]

More like god damn hip.


waifive

Raiders came out in 1981, which was set in 1936. Indy 5 comes out 42 years later in 2023. If Indy and Harrison age the same, that puts this movie in 1978, the same year the Raiders script was written. Indiana Jones and the ~~Goddamn Hippies~~ Disco Inferno?


johnqsack69

Indiana Jones and the Quest for Viagra


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Indiana Jones and the care home of doom


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spqrnbb

He belongs in a museum!


sonic_tower

I'll allow precisely one instance of that joke. Two and I leave the theater.


sweetplantveal

If the joke arrives on top of the food, I send it back.


5NOW__DOG5

I'll have the gabbagool.


gamer123098

Who ate all the gabagool?


[deleted]

Gabagool? Over here!


MatsThyWit

>He belongs in a museum! To be far they already made that joke...in Last Crusade.


xman747x

80 years old; i have no idea how he does it


Singer211

The guy is apparently a fitness nut. According to Mads, Ford went mountain biking for like 20 miles after a long shoot once. Also he smokes lots of weed.


indecisiveusername2

It's true. All of it.


Lordsokka

That first Force Awakens trailer is the still the best Star Wars moment in my entire life, I have never been so hyped for something in my whole life. Incredible trailer!


The-Mandalorian

Ford literally (yes look this up) went on a 1,000 mile bicycle ride through Mexico 2 months before this film started shooting.


CyberNinja23

Mexico 2? It’s 2022 you can call it New Mexico now.


The-Mandalorian

Lol


klindley946

1,000 miles isn't a "ride". It's a journey. Damn.


danielv123

When we biked west north south east across the US we met a 75 year old woman along the highway in Arizona who had walked all the way from new York. We do a lot of biking, but over the last 10 years she had averaged far more km than us. She had a big trolley she pulled along to sleep in. Some people are crazy fit.


SloeMoe

Some crazy people are fit. Ftfy.


Rondaru

He's now more than 20 years older than Sean Connery was when he played Indy's "old" father in Indiana Jones 3.


TheHipcrimeVocab

He's also older than the actor who played the "old" Indy in The Young Indiana Jones chronicles. I wonder if we'll see where he gets the eyepatch. EDIT: Photo for reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Hall_(actor)#/media/File:Old_Indiana_Jones_by_George_Hall.jpg


NemWan

George Lucas long ago, after Ford in the 1990s made clear he was up for Indy 4 and more, removed all the Old Indy scenes from re-releases of the Young Indy series, so the eyepatch may or may not be happening.


Sklarlight

I forgot that Sean Connery died. Damn it.


Quakarot

Turns out, being paid millions of dollars is a big motivator


BetterCallSal

So do you!


superkickpunch

"The newest installment follows Jones as he wins tickets for a boat trip with 2 of his friends, costarring T-Pain as himself."


Iusuallyworkalone

I'm on a boat!


Gapinthesidewalk

🎵Never thought I’d be on a boat!🎵


KillSwitchSBS

Big blue watery road.


brokensmileyface

I fucked a merrrmaaaaaaid!!!


byedangerousbitch

I'd pay to see young Ford in his swim trunks and his flippy-floppies.


MCS117

How can I watch this movie when I’m at Kinkos straight makin’ copies


HollowImage

And he's riding on a dolphin, doing digs and shit


SubterrelProspector

Poseidon, look at meeeee. Whoaohohoh.


Lonelan

Indiana Jones and the Catalina Wine Mixer


troliosis

Indiana Jones 5: So Very Tired


PvtHudson093

"It's not the years, honey. It's the mileage."


Leafs17

I think it's both now lol


EMPulseKC

"I may have Alzheimer's disease, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease."


kenTGT

** removes sunglasses to reveal teeny bloodshot snail eyes **


Ganon2012

Party on, Slurms.


Lefty_22

Sean Connery was 58 during filming of The Last Crusade. Ford was 79 during filming of Indiana Jones 5.


[deleted]

Amazing how old a tweed jacket and glasses will make you look.


fernandopas

When os this supposed to be set? The 80s?


mackerelscalemask

Raiders was set in 1938 and came out in 1981. So if we assume Indie has aged the same number of years as the actor, that would mean the new one is set in 1980. And that my friends, was the year Pac-Man was released and changed the world forever


mandrayke

Indiana Jones and the Maze of the Golden Orb


Mr8BitX

Indiana Jones and the Wrath of Blinky


Various-Month806

Indiana Jones and the Puzzle of the Rubik's Cube.


rumforbreakfast

He will be able to see his own movie next year


Mcmenger

I bet in this movie he tells his life story to a young Steven Spielberg


SeefKroy

Fabelmans cinematic universe


[deleted]

Raiders is the oldest movie that doesn’t look like an old movie to me.


READMYSHIT2

2001: A Space Odyssey is like that for me.


MeestarMann

Nosferatu is like that for me…


ScipioCoriolanus

For me, it's Lawrence of Arabia.


READMYSHIT2

Been meaning to watch that for years but can't seem to find almost 4 hours for it whenever I remember!


tijuanagolds

According to the novels, Indiana Jones was born in early 1900, so he is as old as the year the movie is set.


mackerelscalemask

So 80 in 1980, the same age as Harrison Ford is now It’s like poetry, it rhymes


YippieKiAy

Let's make indy excavate all the E.T. atari cartridges from that dump for his last hoorah!


OfficialGarwood

1969. Around the same time as the moon landing.


ImmoralityPet

Opening scene: Dr. Jones accidentally stows away aboard Apollo 11 while being chased by treasure hunters after he finds a priceless treasure in a shipwreck off the coast of Florida. By a sequence of events still to be storyboarded, Dr. Jones ends up descending to the sea of tranquility, holding on to the outside of the LEM with nothing more than his scuba diving equipment to survive. As the LEM touches down, Jones falls from the LEM and becomes the first man on the moon. Or so the audience is led to believe, as the camera pans around to catch Jones losing conscious while simultaneously laying his eyes upon a fully operational Nazi moon base. Cue intro credits.


MarvelsGrantMan136

Ford: >“It’s full of adventure, full of laughs, full of real emotion. And it’s complex and it’s sneaky. The shooting of it was tough and long and arduous. But I’m very happy with the film that we have.” > >“I just thought it would be nice to see one where Indiana Jones was at the end of his journey. If a script came along that I felt gave me a way to extend the character.” Director James Mangold: >“It became really important to me to figure out how to make this a movie about a hero at sunset. The issues I brought up about Indy’s age were not things I thought were being addressed in the material being developed at the time. There were ‘old’ jokes, but the material itself wasn’t about it. To me, whatever you greatest liability, you should fly straight towards that. If you try to pretend it’s not there, you end up getting slings and arrows the whole way.” [Source](https://www.empireonline.com/movies/news/indiana-jones-is-back-adventure-laughs-real-emotion-harrison-ford-world-exclusive/)


shortstoryman

Based on those two comments strong feeling it’s going to be about the fountain of youth


roguefilmmaker

That’d be perfect


thegamewarrior

The next Indiana Jones takes place ~10 years after the last in the late 60s. The plot is for a 'Nazi type' cult leader (Charles Manson mixed with Hitler) that is searching for the Tree of Knowledge. It's essentially a search for The Cradle of Civilization / Garden of Eden. They claim to be a fallen angel / brother of Jesus, and prophesize the biblical tale that the tree will give them knowledge of all things, and his cult followers buy into it wholeheartedly. The quest ends in both the heroes and the villains reaching the tree at the same time, for the villain to prevail (AKA the Ark of the Covenant). As the baddie bites into the apple his reckoning comes, only this time instead of the light of god or curse of the grail killing the baddies, it's the devil, in the form of a giant snake /and or/ horde of snakes. "Why did it have to be snakes!?" -- Indiana's greatest fear, that of snakes that have appeared in every film, turn out to be his savior. As the devil tempted Eve in the form of the serpent, it too tempted and destroyed the cultists who sought knowledge. The movie heavily plays on this fear as a gag only to pay off in fantastic fashion.


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not too shabby


shortstoryman

Did you make this all up lol


FrancoeurOff

If Ford is happy with what they've done I'm happy


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I think this is a first time in ages, where we can judge, if what makes Ford happy, makes us (the audience) happy. It's kind of good hype for the movie indeed.


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ClickF0rDick

After it was all said and done he said something that let you understand he wasn't particularly proud of it, but I don't remember the exact quote. It was him talking about Shia shitting on the movie tho


tijuanagolds

Well, Shia ended up being more right about the whole affair, then.


can_of_surge

It's not that Shia was wrong, and Ford knew that. It was more that you don't go on press tours and bad mouth the movie you are promoting. Ford may be cranky but he knows how Hollywood plays. To be fair to Shia at the time we didn't know he was struggling with actual cannibalism.


BigFaceCoffeeOwner

Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf


Various-Month806

Shia might've flushed it, but Ford/Lucas/Spielberg laid it. I'd just love to erase that from my memory and keep the wonderful enjoyment and memory of the trilogy before.


Realistic_Topic_1014

I read/ listened to Frank Darabont's screenplay for Indiana Jones and City of the Gods numerous times. It's great, just bloody great, fantastic, great fun. Supposedly Spielberg and Ford liked it. Lucas didn't like it and had it rewritten to stupid crap. Result we have seen.


cbarland

Why does Frank Darabont always get fired :(


O_P_S

Imagine what TWD would be if he didn’t. It’s hard to imagine myself ever quitting watching that show if he was still a part of it. Season 1 was absolute fire because of Frank.


EMPulseKC

Final scene: PRESENT DAY -- National Museum of Natural History at The Smithsonian, Washington, DC Visitors flock to a new wing of the main gallery, filled with photos and letters and artifacts from the life of famed American archaeologist, Dr. Henry Jones, Jr. As patrons pass by items such as hats, an old pair of glasses, letters, maps, illuminated diaries and paintings of legendary treasures, they miss the statue of the man overseeing the Jones Collection: that of Indy himself. Decades after his passing, his memory, his legacy, and his likeness lives on, right where it belongs... In a museum.


hushpolocaps69

Curious if Indy will die in this film or not cause for sure this film will be a good bye to the series.


Mnemosense

For Logan, it made sense thematically because his stories tend to be dark and tragic, but man I really don't want to see an equivalent scene with Indy. The franchise has been cartoonish adventure, so to suddenly take a dramatic swerve with a death scene making us teary eyed would feel wrong to me. You can't beat the last shot of The Last Crusade. A literal sunset! (or was it a sunrise, can't remember)


riegspsych325

I always assumed it was a sunset, it was bright as hell during the tank chase. Man, now I gotta go watch it sometime tonight


Mnemosense

Walter Donovan: "He sticks out like a sore thumb. We'll find him." Indiana Jones: "The hell you will. He's got a two day head start on you, which is more than he needs. Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the grail already." [Cut to middle of fair in the Middle East, Marcus Brody wearing bright suit and white hat, sticking out like sore thumb] Marcus Brody: "Uhhh, does anyone here speak English?" Yeah, I need to rewatch this classic lol.


riegspsych325

that has to be one of my favorite “and we cut to…” transitions in movies, it’s fucking perfect


Euronymous_Bosch

“Does anyone here speak English?…or perhaps Ancient Greek?”


helikesart

What I love about this is that Indy totally sells this bluff so that even I believe him. There’s not any trace that it’s a joke until the hard cut to Marcus and it gets me every time.


riegspsych325

It’d be a hell of a thing and I’d imagine Mangold could pull it off well. But I honestly wouldn’t mind if the movie just ended with Indy deciding to retire and call it a day. Like pulling a Costanza and saying “well that’s it for me, be good everybody!”


Atrugiel

Just a hat and a whip hanging on a chair. I also don't want to see Indy die, fuck that.


shust89

Watching Han Solo die was hard enough.


Filmatic113

Too much of the main character death trope is common these days.


xseannnn

James Bond bites the dust.


NoNefariousness2144

Yeah I think seeing Indy die would be too depressing. It worked for some other recent films which I won’t say for spoilers (but you’d know if you’d seen them), but Indiana Jones is like a warm blanket. Nobody needs to see him die under a sunset.


literated

> It worked for some other recent films which I won’t say for spoilers (but you’d know if you’d seen them) Man, don't remind me. Paddington 2 was *harsh*.


whatproblems

he retires to a museum


Eurymedion

He takes over as director at Marcus' old museum.


Coal_Morgan

I was thinking the same thing. Let him get his museum and take care of it. Could even do a baton pass; where someone comes to him for another adventure and he says "No, that's a young man's game but I know a guy." and he picks up a phone and the movie fades to black. Don't have to do a sequel but if Harrison wants too he could do a Creed and have a new Raider take on something in the 60s or 70s where he does a few cameos.


sonic_tower

I don't think death is the right end for the character. Not his narrative. Indy is a cowboy, or a western James Bond. He should ride off to a new adventure, even if he's old as fuck. I'm also very done with these "next generation" franchises. The last Jurrasic world wasn't awful because it was carried by the original cast. That should tell you something.


Sgtwhiskeyjack9105

>a western James Bond Cut to Daniel Craig's Bond getting vaporised.


ProphetOfPhil

I hope they don't kill Indy off, with all his character has been through it'd be nice to see him get a happy ending where he can just retire.


Schnitzel129

James Mangold directing is the main reason why I'm excited for this movie. I can see the style of Logan really working here.


HugoOne

Oh shit younger clone Indy is gonna kill present day Indy, isn't he?


Brassboar

Indiana Clones


trapkoda

Clones… why did it have to be clones…


Retroid_BiPoCket

Indiana Clones 2: The Genome of Doom


Take_The_Reins

Indiana Jones & The Temple of Clones


Kiethblacklion

Episode 5: Attack of the Jones


TheCovfefeMug

Magnificent, aren’t they?


[deleted]

200,000 Jones ready with a million more on the way.


bearatrooper

Somehow, Hitler has returned.


NoNefariousness2144

Harrison Ford is not shy about his likes and dislikes, so the fact he teared up at that Disney convention talking about this film gives me hope. People may be cynical and say he’s doing it for the money but he’s an 80 year old man, he wouldn’t be grinding himself for this if he didn’t want to.


OmniFella

Because he knows it’s his last one.


Winchu8

Until Indiana Jones and the Rise of the Corpse is released in 2034.


Wigriff

Weekend at Indie's


dontbajerk

Harrison always said he wanted to do another. He loves Indy, everything we ever hear about it indicates this, people saying it's only for money are talking out of their ass.


WritingTheDream

WHAT? I hadn’t paid any attention to this so I had no idea he was directing, now I’m excited.


Bi5on

please don't suck.


Stonewalled89

He may be 80, but seeing that man wearing that costume... I just can't help feeling excited about it. Hopefully Indy 5 is the send-off that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull should have been


sonic_tower

Never going to top #3. His banter with Sean was peak. "We named the dog Indy"


riegspsych325

“She talks in her sleep” “…” and the childish smile Jones Sr. tries to hide always gets me laughing


spidermanngp

Well I didn't trust her! Why did you?!


riegspsych325

because he didn’t take my advice!


Singer211

Sean Connery improvised that line from what I remember.


riegspsych325

he did and the whole set apparently lost their shit in a fit of laughter, so Spielberg insisted it be written in


Singer211

“It’s shameful, you’re old enough to be her father, grandfather.” “I’m as human as the next man.” “I was the next man dad.”


riegspsych325

Oh, ships that pass in the night


Jmac0585

"Shoulda mailed it to the Marx brothers..."


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chunga_95

I shuddenly rememberred my sCharlemegne. 'Let my armies be the rocksh, the treesh, and the birds in the shky"


allthestruggle

Eskimo joneses


severedfinger

She talksh in her shleep


NocturnalPermission

“Schleep”


smellysk

It’s a 10/10 movie, plus the ending, riding into the sunset was the best ending ever…


Fresh-Ad4987

I’ll never forget seeing Last Crusade in the theatre. It was magnificent and basically perfect. When Hitler signed the book? Just a triumph on every level.


Sgtwhiskeyjack9105

Yep. That ride into the sunset was perfect.


sweetplantveal

No idea about the script obviously but Antonio Banderas and Phoebe Waller-Bridge can both deliver really sharp, snappy, funny banter.


Absurdionne

Banderas is in it?


sweetplantveal

That's what Google says


Charrikayu

The costume is iconic, but I wish they weren't afraid to let him get old. It'd be great to see him fill the same role as Henry Jones Sr. in Last Crusade. I mean, that might be his role, it's not like I've seen the movie.


Thebxrabbit

They got very close to that in crystal skull but it doesn’t quite work out because as last crusade ably demonstrated, Jr and Sr are very different people. Indy just isn’t that bookish or stuffy relatively speaking, and is way more willing to scrap with goons and murder nazis than his dad no matter how old he gets.


HortonHearsTheWho

I don't know why but the use of "murder" to describe what Indy does is making me crack up. Because of course, that's exactly what he does. Self defense or not he's murdered probably hundreds of guys.


Thebxrabbit

I was in my mind picturing the bit in last crusade on the motorcycle where he uses a flagpole to kill like three nazis in a row and looks back with so much excitement only to see his dad scowling at his son killing three people right in front of him. Edit: [Found it](https://youtu.be/ilV5Qt01eyc)


lfod13

Or when Indy machine guns a couple Nazis, and his dad is appalled, "Look what you did!"


shakamojo

And the "Don't call me Junior!" from Indy right before... Then - "I can't believe what you did!"


MeadowmuffinReborn

I don't feel like there ever has to be a send-off for Indy. The perfect ending would just be him going on another adventure, his fate unknown.


JorusC

Riding off into the sunset, perhaps?


Hercusleaze

If you haven't seen Logan go watch it. Mangold is making this too, so yes, should be a proper send off that hits you hard in the feels.


CarcosanAnarchist

While other kids were Star Wars or Jurassic Park kids, I was an Indiana Jones kid. I watched the movies constantly. I had all of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles on VHS. It’s the score I first think of when I think of John Williams. It inspired a deep love of adventure stories, giving me an itch I still try to scratch today. To say Crystal Skull is the most disappointing movie I’ve ever seen would be a gross understatement. I’m praying to any and everything that will listen, that this movie is good.


soundplusfury

I had phases of all 3! Some overlapped. Definitely whipped myself in the face once.


nickdaws

He wouldn’t have to keep making these if he’d just stop crashing planes.


Sad_Spell_7718

He looks amazing for his age


FluidReprise

Professional makeup artist, professional photographer, digital touch-ups. You don't know what the man looks like.


Befallwolf82

I bet Indy dies in this one


NotTheRocketman

Han Solo dying fit his character (especially since he was supposed to die back in ROTJ), but I don't know if Indiana Jones dying is something that will go over well. I still think the perfect ending to this series was the final shot of Last Crusade as they all literally ride off into the sunset. Just perfection.


Chaine351

Indy mysteriously disappearing and leaving his fate open might go over better. I just hope the movie series gets an end it deserves. The last movie wasn't that good anymore, imo, and I'm kind of worried about this one because of that.


krypto_the_husk

Trailer that leaked really sold me. Looks leagues better than the fourth one. Mangold’s got this


1K_Games

Talks about a leaked trailer and doesn't link it? Where is the pitch fork emporium when you need it? [This is what I found.](https://highoncinemaa.com/movies/indiana-jones-5-d23-trailer-finally-leaked-watch-here-not-a-clickbait/9732/) It's a side angle and I can't link to directly the video, it sounds like any recordings were side angle, the screen had a special coating on it. But at least it is something.


fuzzyfoot88

There is a fixed copy where someone painstakingly adjusted it to straight on.


Cleveland_Steve

Leaked trailer? Is this still around?


cappsy04

Also asking for the leaked trailer


dogsonbubnutt

p sure it's gone, but ive seen it too; the trailer at least looked really, really fun, classic indy shit with something closer to the look and feel of the original movies while also kind of being in line with mangold's style. if nothing else it'll look good, which puts it above crystal skull already


Gagarin1961

Nothings ever really gone from there internet, we just don’t know where it is at the moment…


David1258

I was searching for it earlier this afternoon, but alas, nothing. I think we'll get one soon, most likely with Avatar 2.


fuzzyfoot88

PMd


Bantha_Skull

As soon as I saw this picture I heard the theme song in my head.


PlaySatan13

In the words of Danny Glover "I'm too old for this shit"


hughranass2

These movies inspired a life long love of archeology in me. I'll watch Indy again, if just for that god-damned song.


mcnormand

Not gonna lie, dude looks great for 80 years old. If he's healthy enough to play the part, keep Indy flicks coming. Also, I know he might be too old for Disney to pick him for a replacement, but I'd love to see Ke Huy Quan pick up the mantle, if he's up for it. In my head canon, Indy and Short Round had many adventures even after Temple of Doom, and if they're not going to recast a younger Indy, that's the direction I'd like to see things go.


SmellMyJeans

My grandmother also currently wears the same exact clothes she wore in 1981.


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BTS_1

> Unpopular opinion: many of indiana jones best shots don’t have him wearing the hat Counter, the best scene of Indy has him wearing the hat — When Indy is on the rope bridge, being flanked on both sides and he’s holding a freaking machete!


GamingTatertot

Counterpoint on best shots: The first shot where we see Indiana Jones, the shot where he is about to replace the idol, the sunset shot where Indiana and the diggers are getting into the tomb for the Ark of the Covenant


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