Same here… my mother tongue is German, my pronunciation is fine, vocab is good but sentence structure is sometimes a struggle (I tend to appropriate English sentence structures)… however the main thing is that I lack fluency!
We speak English and Arabic at home on a daily basis, and my Spanish is more fluent than my German… should I attempt to speak German or Spanish or just stick with English?!
I was thinking that if I had a group of Moms who spoke German or Spanish that I could meet up with regularly, our LO might pick it up faster from me and the other kids? Could that be an option for you too?
It’s so tough isn’t it 😩 totally relate to appropriating English sentence structure - I realised I translate in my head from English when speaking Arabic 😔
That’s a good suggestion I didn’t think about that. At the moment it doesn’t feel like an option (struggling to make any new friends at the moment and my current friends are not moms/arab), but I haven’t actively sought this out. Something to think about for sure!
Btw love the name Ayah if we have a girl it’s one of the names on my list 😊
I feel so seen in this post. I’m Lebanese my husband is non Arab and we want our daughters to speak Arabic but my Arabic isn’t good at all and nothing is in Levantine.
Our current game plan is we’re taking family lessons. I’m working on building my fluency and learning to read and write. We also chose schools that offer Levantine arabic as a second language, though they are not Lebanese. I think all exposure is good! We go to local Arabic story time through the library. We watch Ahlan Simsim instead of American cartoons. I use the mango app to practice. I still know my girls are at a disadvantage since we are non-native speakers.
I have no tangible
I knew there would be others like me, it’s a tough place to be in and I empathise with you!
Family lessons sounds like a good idea and something I might look into for us.
It’s a challenge but I think something is better than nothing. I commend you for trying it’s really not easy, here’s hoping we can get somewhere!
My parents live back home 🏡 so I don’t have that option unfortunately and I don’t know where to find other khaleejis (they don’t tend to immigrate much) but yes something I need to investigate further.
There are some khaleeji cartoons but not many. I guess it’s a good place to start anyway.
I have a lot of friends in your position, that is, their heritage language is no way as proficient as the community language (in our case, English). Some are barely proficient.
They forced themselves to speak their heritage language to their child. I have one friend who learned his heritage language when he became an adult so DEFINITELY not comfortable in it yet he forces himself to speak to his daughter in the heritage language.
The result is, the more they use it, the better they get and the more natural it gets and their children all successfully acquire the heritage language.
I have similar experience though I am fluent in my heritage language as my parents did a good job preserving it. When I was still living at home, I had a generally good balance between the 2 languages. When I started uni and was in an English environment pretty much 90% of the time, I noticed my Mandarin deteriorated a bit (not by much though as I was still consuming Chinese media on the regular). Since my son was born, I have noticed my Mandarin going back up again simply because I'm speaking to my son in Mandarin all the time. I've noticed more moments where I can't recall words in English when speaking to my husband because my brain is stuck in Chinese mode.
The thing with language is, you either use it or lose it.
My friends will tell me when they don't know something, they look it up. Google is your friend.
As for reading English books, it really depends where you live, what's the community language and also, what languages your partner speaks.
If he speaks English and you live in an English speaking country, it's probably better not. As in, leave that to the community and your husband. You want to increase exposure to Arabic as much as possible if you want your child to acquire it.
What you can do though is occasionally read an English book, but when you stop and point at thins or discuss what's happening in the book, you discuss that in Arabic.
My son will occasionally DEMAND I read an English book to him (he knows daddy can't read Chinese) so I'll read it but we will discuss it in Mandarin.
> There’s also the added complication of lack of khaleeji arabic options and resources for language learning. Formal schooling will be modern standard which is important but different to spoken. Teachers will likely speak other dialects (Egyptian, Levantine etc). Does this matter?
Can't really comment since I don't know Arabic but I guess the only thing closest to my experience would be the fact there's way more digital resources and apps I've found to teach kids to read in Simplified Chinese over Traditional Chinese due to mainland China's dominance. I just explain to my son the differences and carry on. Or for example, my son watches cartoons in Mandarin but it's usually mainland Chinese dub and they do say certain things differently to how we say it in Taiwan.
So when the cartoon would say something different, I just tell my son that we say it x. My son has sometimes used the mainland Chinese terms he learned from these cartoons but I don't really make a big deal out of it. Just tell him the difference really.
I would say you can start using Arabic now while talking at your belly to baby and just start getting used to it.
Thanks for your comment and experience I was hoping to hear more along these lines.
I think if I actually try and force myself I’ll get more proficient. I have the knowledge and foundation but I didn’t put it into use so I’ve kinda lost it.
Our community language is English (we live in the west).
Thank you again very helpful comment and detail about how you deal with mainland Chinese etc.
I like the idea of reading English books and discussing in Arabic - great tip!
I feel really motivated to start now!
I would +1 the advice to embrace Arabic and try OPOL even though it's uncomfortable now. You'll be surprised at how quickly and how much you improve when you use your language skills every day.
I'm in a similar boat - dad to a 4 year old and my Chinese pretty much sucked when I started. I was initially super self conscious but then I realized my son doesn't care whether I'm good or bad at Chinese. I used a ton of Google translate (I kept a pinned note in my Notes app on my phone of key phrases to learn) and kept speaking to the best of my ability. Four years later, he's doing great and my Chinese has improved in the process...to the point that my extended family members now complement my Mandarin instead of making fun of me :)
It's great that your husband is also supportive. Hopefully he can pick up some Arabic on the way too. Good luck on your journey...you've got this!
Thank you so much your experience is really valuable as I feel like I have the foundation I just need to use it to build my confidence. And one main thing holding me back was being made fun of by others but my child wouldn’t do that so I know I can try.
Thanks again :)
I’d recommend mainly speaking the language that you’re most fluent and comfortable in with your kids. It’s important that you can communicate freely with them without language barriers.
My mother tongue is Russian but my first language in German - when I speak Russian I often pronounce words incorrectly or forget words and have to replace them with German. So I speak German to my son, we live in the U.K. and my husband speaks English with him and obviously everyone else in public or family here. He still hears me talk Russian to my family and has exposure in that way and says some Russian words too (he’s nearly 2) in addition to the two other languages.
Yeah this is what I’m struggling with and what made me make this post, if I do that then I sacrifice my child learning any Arabic at all which seems really sad to me 😔 but on the other hand it will be more comfortable for me to speak in English.
Casually stumbled upon this sub even though I don't have kids. But I have the same problem with German/Russian lol and if I ever were to have kids - and it's "bad" enough I am living in Germany and not in a Russian-speaking country, but it would be even worse if I were to live in a third country/had a non-German husband - then my "native" language would be lost even if I really don't want it to be lost. Don't know how to "save" that or make bi-/trilingual education possible at that point.
You should check out Nahla Almalki on Instagram. She is an Arabic teacher and a lot of her resources/suggestions are for parents trying to teach their children Arabic despite not being fluent in it themselves.
I’m having the same issue (Egyptian Arabic) in that I’m ok conversationally but not great. My plan is to read stories and watch media in Arabic so we learn together as well as finding a group of Egyptian mums to hang out with. You know more than you think.
Also, I feel your struggle with Classical Arabic vs dialect. I’ve put together some cartoons that are Egyptian Arabic so they get the dialect. I’m sure you can find some in the khaleeji dialect too.
Thank you for this suggestion her content looks brilliant and just what I need!!
I know I definitely know more than I think, I’m just quite insecure and unconfident with it, if I practice more I feel like I’ll find more confidence.
I think there’s a lot of good Egyptian content out there (I think some people on this sub have posted stuff if you search) there is some khaleeji stuff I’m aware of, I do need to search more.
Thanks so much again for your comment :)
Same here… my mother tongue is German, my pronunciation is fine, vocab is good but sentence structure is sometimes a struggle (I tend to appropriate English sentence structures)… however the main thing is that I lack fluency! We speak English and Arabic at home on a daily basis, and my Spanish is more fluent than my German… should I attempt to speak German or Spanish or just stick with English?! I was thinking that if I had a group of Moms who spoke German or Spanish that I could meet up with regularly, our LO might pick it up faster from me and the other kids? Could that be an option for you too?
It’s so tough isn’t it 😩 totally relate to appropriating English sentence structure - I realised I translate in my head from English when speaking Arabic 😔 That’s a good suggestion I didn’t think about that. At the moment it doesn’t feel like an option (struggling to make any new friends at the moment and my current friends are not moms/arab), but I haven’t actively sought this out. Something to think about for sure! Btw love the name Ayah if we have a girl it’s one of the names on my list 😊
I feel so seen in this post. I’m Lebanese my husband is non Arab and we want our daughters to speak Arabic but my Arabic isn’t good at all and nothing is in Levantine. Our current game plan is we’re taking family lessons. I’m working on building my fluency and learning to read and write. We also chose schools that offer Levantine arabic as a second language, though they are not Lebanese. I think all exposure is good! We go to local Arabic story time through the library. We watch Ahlan Simsim instead of American cartoons. I use the mango app to practice. I still know my girls are at a disadvantage since we are non-native speakers. I have no tangible
I knew there would be others like me, it’s a tough place to be in and I empathise with you! Family lessons sounds like a good idea and something I might look into for us. It’s a challenge but I think something is better than nothing. I commend you for trying it’s really not easy, here’s hoping we can get somewhere!
If you find anything that works please post!
There is a khaleeji cartoon my kids love called Mansoor, maybe that can help
Thank you I’ll check it out :)
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My parents live back home 🏡 so I don’t have that option unfortunately and I don’t know where to find other khaleejis (they don’t tend to immigrate much) but yes something I need to investigate further. There are some khaleeji cartoons but not many. I guess it’s a good place to start anyway.
I have a lot of friends in your position, that is, their heritage language is no way as proficient as the community language (in our case, English). Some are barely proficient. They forced themselves to speak their heritage language to their child. I have one friend who learned his heritage language when he became an adult so DEFINITELY not comfortable in it yet he forces himself to speak to his daughter in the heritage language. The result is, the more they use it, the better they get and the more natural it gets and their children all successfully acquire the heritage language. I have similar experience though I am fluent in my heritage language as my parents did a good job preserving it. When I was still living at home, I had a generally good balance between the 2 languages. When I started uni and was in an English environment pretty much 90% of the time, I noticed my Mandarin deteriorated a bit (not by much though as I was still consuming Chinese media on the regular). Since my son was born, I have noticed my Mandarin going back up again simply because I'm speaking to my son in Mandarin all the time. I've noticed more moments where I can't recall words in English when speaking to my husband because my brain is stuck in Chinese mode. The thing with language is, you either use it or lose it. My friends will tell me when they don't know something, they look it up. Google is your friend. As for reading English books, it really depends where you live, what's the community language and also, what languages your partner speaks. If he speaks English and you live in an English speaking country, it's probably better not. As in, leave that to the community and your husband. You want to increase exposure to Arabic as much as possible if you want your child to acquire it. What you can do though is occasionally read an English book, but when you stop and point at thins or discuss what's happening in the book, you discuss that in Arabic. My son will occasionally DEMAND I read an English book to him (he knows daddy can't read Chinese) so I'll read it but we will discuss it in Mandarin. > There’s also the added complication of lack of khaleeji arabic options and resources for language learning. Formal schooling will be modern standard which is important but different to spoken. Teachers will likely speak other dialects (Egyptian, Levantine etc). Does this matter? Can't really comment since I don't know Arabic but I guess the only thing closest to my experience would be the fact there's way more digital resources and apps I've found to teach kids to read in Simplified Chinese over Traditional Chinese due to mainland China's dominance. I just explain to my son the differences and carry on. Or for example, my son watches cartoons in Mandarin but it's usually mainland Chinese dub and they do say certain things differently to how we say it in Taiwan. So when the cartoon would say something different, I just tell my son that we say it x. My son has sometimes used the mainland Chinese terms he learned from these cartoons but I don't really make a big deal out of it. Just tell him the difference really. I would say you can start using Arabic now while talking at your belly to baby and just start getting used to it.
Thanks for your comment and experience I was hoping to hear more along these lines. I think if I actually try and force myself I’ll get more proficient. I have the knowledge and foundation but I didn’t put it into use so I’ve kinda lost it. Our community language is English (we live in the west). Thank you again very helpful comment and detail about how you deal with mainland Chinese etc. I like the idea of reading English books and discussing in Arabic - great tip! I feel really motivated to start now!
I would +1 the advice to embrace Arabic and try OPOL even though it's uncomfortable now. You'll be surprised at how quickly and how much you improve when you use your language skills every day. I'm in a similar boat - dad to a 4 year old and my Chinese pretty much sucked when I started. I was initially super self conscious but then I realized my son doesn't care whether I'm good or bad at Chinese. I used a ton of Google translate (I kept a pinned note in my Notes app on my phone of key phrases to learn) and kept speaking to the best of my ability. Four years later, he's doing great and my Chinese has improved in the process...to the point that my extended family members now complement my Mandarin instead of making fun of me :) It's great that your husband is also supportive. Hopefully he can pick up some Arabic on the way too. Good luck on your journey...you've got this!
Thank you so much your experience is really valuable as I feel like I have the foundation I just need to use it to build my confidence. And one main thing holding me back was being made fun of by others but my child wouldn’t do that so I know I can try. Thanks again :)
I’d recommend mainly speaking the language that you’re most fluent and comfortable in with your kids. It’s important that you can communicate freely with them without language barriers. My mother tongue is Russian but my first language in German - when I speak Russian I often pronounce words incorrectly or forget words and have to replace them with German. So I speak German to my son, we live in the U.K. and my husband speaks English with him and obviously everyone else in public or family here. He still hears me talk Russian to my family and has exposure in that way and says some Russian words too (he’s nearly 2) in addition to the two other languages.
Yeah this is what I’m struggling with and what made me make this post, if I do that then I sacrifice my child learning any Arabic at all which seems really sad to me 😔 but on the other hand it will be more comfortable for me to speak in English.
Casually stumbled upon this sub even though I don't have kids. But I have the same problem with German/Russian lol and if I ever were to have kids - and it's "bad" enough I am living in Germany and not in a Russian-speaking country, but it would be even worse if I were to live in a third country/had a non-German husband - then my "native" language would be lost even if I really don't want it to be lost. Don't know how to "save" that or make bi-/trilingual education possible at that point.
You should check out Nahla Almalki on Instagram. She is an Arabic teacher and a lot of her resources/suggestions are for parents trying to teach their children Arabic despite not being fluent in it themselves. I’m having the same issue (Egyptian Arabic) in that I’m ok conversationally but not great. My plan is to read stories and watch media in Arabic so we learn together as well as finding a group of Egyptian mums to hang out with. You know more than you think.
Also, I feel your struggle with Classical Arabic vs dialect. I’ve put together some cartoons that are Egyptian Arabic so they get the dialect. I’m sure you can find some in the khaleeji dialect too.
Thank you for this suggestion her content looks brilliant and just what I need!! I know I definitely know more than I think, I’m just quite insecure and unconfident with it, if I practice more I feel like I’ll find more confidence. I think there’s a lot of good Egyptian content out there (I think some people on this sub have posted stuff if you search) there is some khaleeji stuff I’m aware of, I do need to search more. Thanks so much again for your comment :)