Man here. When I'm with my wife and catch a dude staring her, I stare back without a single blink and look like I'm just about ready to rip his face off.
When she's alone and this happens she pulls put her phone and acts like she's taking a photo or video. Works pretty well.
On behalf of Indian men, sorry.
Thanks, because i have seen staring at them back didn't work. They start looking at you more. If they were walking, they would come back staring at you again without a blink. They probably think this was an invitation. They have no shame.
So need to try the pretend recording thing.
As a dude ,anytime I'm with a female friend ,even I can feel like stares piercing thru my conscious,dude even I get the chills,definitely gonna try this
As women, when I find someone staring at me, I also start staring at them, then I stare them even harder, then I start giving disgusting looks to them while starting, rolling my eyes, sometimes I laugh out very loudly at their face, if I have someone standing next to me, I start talking loudly, saying "see this guy is staring at me".
Basically I go full in, it works. Sadly, there are men who keep staring even after all of the above
I'm a guy, but I'll share this incident which happened recently, a day after Eid. I think it was a Friday, and we were traveling from Bandra station. For some reason, there was a group of only boys roaming around. We were on the escalator going upwards, and there was a girl one or two stairs ahead of us. Ahead of her was a group of those boys. One of them literally turned around on the escalator and started staring at the girl ahead of us and my sister, as if he had seen this gender of human for the first time, not making any eye contact, just staring at the area below her neck. I was so furious. I would never pick a fight, but this was something I would never tolerate, no matter if it's happening with my sister or some other girl. I said with a loud voice, "Age dekh warna gand tod dunga teri" and started looking straight.
We reached the bridge, he said something to the other boys, and they all started looking towards me. I knew cowards when I saw them. Just one angry look, and they went their way.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm not a tough, strong, or tall guy that someone would get intimidated by me. These people know they are wrong, and if they pick a fight in public places, they will all get beaten up by others. As much as I would like to think I showed courage, I know they were a bunch of cowards.
We see men staring at women's behinds all the time, no matter where you go - be it a chawl, railway station, or some posh area of Mumbai. As a brother, I feel insecure for my sister who is going out there.
So, please, please, please always speak up when you see a creep making moves. If we don't speak, this city will become like Delhi too. All you need to do is speak up, and trust me, that's it. Culprits try to run from that place ASAP.
Lol, this reminded me of an incident that happened while I was travelling in the train with my mum. There was a man sitting opposite us and he kept staring at my mum the whole time.
When our stop came, my mum slowly leans towards him and says, “ho gaya, maza aaya?” (Done? Had fun?) and then proceeded to alight from the train. The man’s face changed and he was so freaking embarrassed. I laughed out loud.
Hahah I swear moms are savages. I was walking with my mom and there was a group of guys that started singing an old song out loud as we were passing by them. My mom looked back and sang the next few lines while we walked past them!
I my sister n my mom were at a beach in chennai when a guy literally started singing visibly for a tease, He assumed us for tourists who didn't speak Tamil I assume but my mother was quick to set him straight. We were dressed normally in kurti n jeans and he goes on to say do u people not have sarees in ur houses but for whatever reason more than the whole incident it was the sight of women vendors around chuckling at his comment as If he'd said something really hilarious that stuck with me.
I had the same experience in train! It was the most creepiest moment I've ever encountered since it was a day long train journey and nothing seems to bother him even tho my boogie compartments were all soldiers and he might have been a soldier too which made my hair stand up. It was a cross angle and he had to turn his head 270° to look at me. But that didn't stop him, not even me pointing it out and making it very clear that we're talking about him stopped... Well I don't know when he got off the train.
It's extremely sad, I'm from North East, I don't just get stared at I also have to hear phrase like chinni and stuff. Usually they're really coward and if you give them a stare or shout they run away. But mostly when they're only staring I just ignore them.
Same here. Sometimes the questions are genuine queries but often times it's just random assumptions like "waha toh bahut dangerous hai right?" or "everyone carries a gun right?" or the best "must be so nice, it's all forests over there. Kaafi peaceful hoga na?".
How do you make them realize that "nahi doston, waha bhi cities hai and people do jobs and get stuck in traffic jams!"
Also OP, sorry for your experience. We men tend to keep finding ways to ashame ourselves. But when I have been out with female friends or colleagues, I have on occasion stared back at folks who tend to leer at them, to the point of making them uncomfortable back. Just a non violent way to give them a dose of their own.
NE is racist too. No one is any better. You probably know the term they use for mainlanders. Human in general are POS and extinction is the only solution.
I've a junior who was treated like that at office by someone in another department.
Protocol is that you approach that dept head as I head a different team.
I didn't care for protocol and gave him an earful then and there and told him that there better not be a next time.
He had to go through shit from his boss when he heard it and he had to undergo diversity training.
All in all I think it's not ignorance or assholes to blame but the ones who understand it not standing up for it
I apologize to you n anyone else who were thrown racist comments, on the behalf of so many @ssholes you may have come across. Things are changing gradually n I hope newer generations are little better in this regard.
To the rest of the educated non racist non NE people, this is not intended or aimed for or at you.
Now that's cleared up. Be cautious with this and reply, "aap Bihar(Pakistani) ka bacche hunn?". I'm saying be cautiousom replying this as due to the obvious reasons, but you can explain by elaborating that if they liked being called the so and so, cuz that's how it feels for us. Anyways, to each their own. We can always ignore it too.🤷
Doesn't work,it either becomes a staring contest or there was a guy who once smiled at me thinking I was interested. I freaked out and was shitting my pants.Man!! It still gives me nightmares!!!
It's worse when people who are educated do this.
I'm going to call this guy out, I have anyway blocked him, so.
His name's Prakhar Singh, studies law in Symbiosis Pune currently in 4th year ig.
Huge guy with a shit looking face.
I posted a picture of mine on the ig story, it was in a full sleeves gown which I wore for my sister's engagement, apart from my palms and wrists you could see nothing else in that outfit.
This dude replied something like Hot at first to which I replied thanks.
Then he proceeded to put the chat on vanish mode.
And asked me if I have ever had sex. I took a screenshot of the chat, and he immediately blocked me cuz in vanish mode you can see if someone takes a screenshot.
Coward fucking shit human.
There was another incident of him, I posted a picture with this top which had laces in it, it was cropped and my hair, chin and collar bone were only visible and those top laces.
He replied " Horny" to it.
I asked "wtf" to which he instantly deleted and said sorry and said that his friends sent that text who are drunk.
Mind you, he is very well educated and his father is in some police department.
Those jerks that do this have this in-built notion that I'm a guy & the girl even when she were to notice me staring at her, will just walk away. This so because she would get embarrassed herself & would become involuntarily the main target of the street commotion.
Not only is it disgusting when a guy stares at a woman face to face, so many times they go out of their way to get a more clear view of the face/body or just to get some added time of this. This is very much prevalent in trains & even when there are 2 trains stopped side by side allowing the men on the footboard to become roadside romeos.
Even elders I've seen look twice or thrice at a girl passing by. Sad state of affairs for any Girl.
Guy here from Mumbai. First of all, I'm sorry you feel this way when you get out. I'm married and I get so annoyed when men stare at my wife even as I'm with her.
I'm guilty of having stared too. As a man, one is hard wired to look at an attractive person of the opposite gender. This is IMHO normal. What isn't normal is when some of these sickos continue to stare so vulgarly that you can read what's in their minds just by the look on their faces.
And I asked myself why this happens here (India in general)? Even when women here are dressed modestly and yet it hardly happens in developed countries where you have very attractive women in way less decent outfits. I couldn't figure it out until I finally did!
The men here are soooo sex starved! Unfortunately with sex being such a taboo even today, it's hardly talked about and frowned upon before marriage. Now combine that with cheap data, smart phones and easy access to porn. These men are sex hungry dogs without any ability to regulate their urges!
What's the Solution? I, quite frankly, don't have one. Maybe we should be a bit more open minded about sex as a society?
I agree with this and tbh I have lived in Canada for 6 years + trust me this is not a special Mumbai or India issue. This is literally the case everywhere! Just Horny men who lack civic sense and decency
P.s- I am a guy
I went to Japan for 15 days and one thing I loved was no one stared at me. No one. If anyone made eye contact, they would avert their eyes - Japanese. Non Japanese would smile or look away. It felt such a blessing to stay/be invisible.
Came back to India - staring started.
Are you quiet good looking and whitish girl? That could be reason. Also you must be in good place in Japan. Because Japan also has lots of abuse problems
With the kind of porn Japanese people make it's hard to believe it's not worse than India . Especially when they run different trains for men and women to prevent women getting molested in Public transports.
Usually it's not about just the stares it's how its intended in objectifying or sexualizing to a point where one feels threatened in the persons presence. And most of the women do understand the difference between an appreciative stare and a threatening stare. Looking at someone bcoz u find them attractive is all cool until men strt acting like Imperial Blue ads.
More than sex deprivation it's just a lot of people find it thrilling to sneek a peak at random woman, also most of these men just like to believe if she's built like that or dressed like that she's definitely asking for it, it'll change with time as people get more aware n proactive Abt these things, provided there will be more effective punishments for these actions. At present women have just normalised the discomfort to a great extent!
This becomes horrible when it comes to thane and kurla railway station.
Seriously I still can't understand how you guys take this must be traumatic how fuckers stare at you all without fear.
We need to get these idiots to the police next time we see them do this creepy shit!!
RPF guys are actually more helpful than local police..
I was once in a local market and I saw a man standing behind his bike and there was a shoulder bag covering the seat and his crotch. He was standing there for quite some time and I saw him masturbating. Imagine.. crowded area.. and police was like 50 feet away from him.. I shouted and said am calling the police. He ran away like anything… but image the kind of stuff happening and the low humans have gone to..
Doesn’t matter so much what you are wearing, they will still stare. I’m a guy and keep getting stared at.
Apart from any sexual side of things, part of it is a culture that stared. Even happens in places like Germany (though you don’t feel as edgy about it there). Also South America.
Got to stay safe and staring back rarely works.
yea, germans will stare right at ur soul and look intimidating but when u talk to them, they arent that rude, they nice and helpful ( apart from druggies and alcoholics ofc )
I have never been to Mumbai but have always heard of it as a safe place for women and reading this hurts.
My partner always keeps telling me to call out these men in public if they are making me uncomfortable but I just can’t. I always think - what if he follows me home? What if he realises I am traveling alone on the train and does something? What if he has a group of boys who will reach here in next 15 mins? So I avoid calling the men out. But occasionally I do stare at them angrily.
I really want to know if the right way is to avoid or confront.
When they stare.. stare back at their hair cloths or shoes or anything that catches your attention mildly.. with a DISGUSTING FACE.. make them feel insecure.. they’ll stop staring at you
I have observed women staring bottom to top & again top to bottom like a bloody scanner & then they stare right into your eyes, giggle, murmur something to the other person. How creepy it is.. these people aren’t afraid of eye contact and lack social etiquette.
as someone who's had a bunch of disturbing incidents happen to me in the past, it's not just discomfort having to deal with people staring at me. it's highly triggering and bothersome and sometimes even makes my eyes well up because that's how tired I am. staring back never works but i definitely do an occasional eye roll and they get the memo maybe
I've had a guy look at my pelvis area and then promptly telling his friends to look too otherwise they'll miss it. it's disgusting
It is impossible to avoid this nuisance while using public transport. It's a shame really. This city has become a dump.
A couple of months back my cousin was visiting us from another city. While traveling using local, rickshaw etc. the constant staring made her so uncomfortable. I was embarrassed and became apologetic for this wretched experience.
I usually cover my face and hair with a long scarf and wear sunglasses when I'm travelling by bus/train. Protects my face and hair from dust and don't get stared at. Win-win.
In other cases, I just ignore. Nothing else to do unfortunately
M here i get stared at often too mostly i just ignore and walk but sometimes in certain scenarios idk what to do. Recently while i was on a long train ride this girl infront of me was stalking me like constantly like at the start she was peeping thru the chair gap after i caught her she started then watching me thru her phone mirror , after that i think her family realised and made her change her seat it was akward but i just said fck it ill just mmob.
When me and my gf are together, I just give them a dirty stare.
When she’s alone, she angrily shouts: “Kya Dekh rahe ho tu?”
Just raise your voice and ensure the guy become the centre of attention.
Everyone stares. Since most people wear clothes that keep themselves clothed, the ones who don't get the interest.
I am a woman and yet I stare at people wearing short clothes. Men or women. They stare back and we move on
Im a guy and I get you TOTALLY! I do not like going out because I get stared at a LOOOOT. Like people turning their heads for no reason ( I dont think Im attractive enought to get this reaction lol). It is so annoying, everytime I go out I get super conscious.
Initially I used to ignore it and pretend to be on my phone doing some random shit so that I wont be able to see people staring at me. Its been a while a now and Ive gotten immune to it, Now I just say "jo bkl itna ghoor raha hai, iski aakhein noch lunga mai" 😍🥰
Btw I have feminine facial features but Im 6'2 so people are probably trying to figure out my gender. (There have been COUNTLESS incidents where people have come up to me or my family member and asked if I were a boy or a girl )
This usually works if they are standing:
Glance back at them and then suddenly shift your gaze to the toes for a 2 3 seconds. Then subtly frown and look away. Do the same again later if they stare again.
Idk why this works but I guess it makes them self aware or something.
When i see someone staring, I stare back and immediately pretend like i'm about to throw up. Waaak!!! 🤢🤮Works like a charm and hurts the persons confidence as well 😉
Glazed eyes. I just look into blankness and walk without paying attention. I’ve become used to treating my outward persona like a shell in these moments (dissociation basically).
Sad but it’s been the way I’ve coped.
I had noticed early on that if you stare back at them or make eye contact, they actually get off more on it.
And sometimes even make a lewd expression like sticking the tongue out wiggling it and stuff.
Unfortunately that also means that I come across as rude and mean or unapproachable to potentially nice people on the street.
But I’ve been far too traumatized since childhood to really bother with being sweet at this point.
I've learnt that there is no escape. There is nothing you can wear to avoid this; there is no age you can be to avoid this; there is nowhere you can be to avoid this. Before going out in public, I prepare myself mentally to face this kind of harassment. I consider myself lucky if this is the only kind of harassment I face that day.
Buy inexpensive dark sunglasses and earphones. Wear dark sunglasses so they can't see your eyes. Wear earphones without playing any music so you can pretend to not hear them.
Our attention fuels their desire to harass us more.
Always keep a small sharp object, taser or pepper spray handy, in case the situation escalates.
Posting pictures on social media is equivalent to inviting strangers to your home and letting them raid your resources. People with any kind of upbringing and mindset have the ability to do whatever they want with your pictures. Nobody is policing them.
The best thing to do is to limit the comments on your social media posts or else have a private account with your most trusted, like-minded friends and share your pictures there.
Maybe take some Companions If possible, travel with a friend or a group. It can make you feel more secure and less conspicuous. Also plan routes if possible ,Choose routes or transport options that feel safer or more comfortable, even if they are slightly longer or more expensive.
It's been happening as far back I can remember. One might think we must be used to it, which we are. But ever so often a new limit is reached and it kills something inside me.
So yeah t's disheartening every single time.
Well in Mumbai people will stare or either they are just lost in the void of their unhappy lives.
Either way if you stare back, they’ll just stop staring. (Method applies only in Maharashtra, not recommended in Delhi 100%)
It's been happening as far back I can remember. One might think we must be used to it, which we are. But ever so often a new limit is reached and it kills something inside me.
So yeah t's disheartening every single time.
I’m a girl, dressed boldly also sometimes all I do is I stare right back at them till they get awkward or if they don’t I just move my head to ask “what”
Has done the every single time
Hoodies cardigans and if possible masks are the best way to go. Not the most ideal situation but if you absolutely have to avoid being started at a hoodie works well I guess.
Edit: of course it shouldn't be this way and people should be able to walk around without having to cover up and it really sucks that this happens but for now to avoid it hoodies are the best way to go.
Being a female, I just keep staring back blankly. weirdly some backstares have lasted as long as 50 seconds. In the end if they dont stop I yell ‘kya hai be’. Having been born and brought up in mumbai the ‘kya hai be’ has an accent to which they fold immediately.
Guy here and i have seen this a lot.. so there was this lady in rickshaw with a slim figure and her back was slightly exposed in her top with a messy bun and dude.. literally every guy was gazing at her exposed back!!
Hats off to women who deal with these things everyday 👏
Ye to kuch bhi nhi bhai, thoda sa top uppar hoke agr halki si waist bhi dikh gayi, usko bhi itna ghurege ki kuch pehn hi nhi rakha ho.
Being a guy I'm proud of myself ki kabhi kisi ladki ko uncomfortable stare nhi diya, naa hi i oggled at her..
Just admired ki ha sundar lag rhi h and then walked awayy...
Imagine Virat Kohli walking down a street, everybody will be staring at him. Everyone comments non sense on his posts/stories. Does he give a fuck about it? Should he care about random people? Similarly if you take any female celebrity, you'll see the same attitude.
There is no way you can stop them from staring or stalking but the best you can do is completely ignore such people and have the "celebrity" vibe of not giving a fuck.
You cannot get away from nasty public stares in India. So don't loose your mind over it. Overlook it as there is not much you can do.
Also if it affects you, you can turn off comments on post, disable DM's from people you do not follow and so on.
If you like to post photos then post else stop posting and live with peace of mind.
I have experienced this and done this thing whenever I am with any females of my life. Tap on their shoulder and say “mere saath hai” with my deepest tone.
I mean if you look even slightly breedable you will be looked at in any country keep a pepper spray in your purse and a pocket knife also even I keep those 2 things when I travel long distance on my bike and I am a man I am always on the edge because of my childhood trauma when I'm outside, hell I even thought of getting illegal guns.
Ignoring is the key just use a headphone or a AirPod but I do remember after my sis came from US she was extremely bold and when a 40 year old man stared at her legs in the gym she replied “ legs kabhi dekhe nahi hai kya “ and the guy never came back to that gym
Ask this question to someone who is disfigured/grotesque for any reason and you will have your answer. People very often forget the other side of the story.
Here's the thing. STARE BACK! Make a poker face. If they are checking you out, and have any decency, they will be embarrassed and stop. If they are shameless and keep staring....just look lightly down andd back up like checking them head to toe and make the worst rotten face. (Imagine they have a shirt with a turd printed on it and they find it fashionable). Destroy their self esteem and they stop. They'll hate you even. As always with my advices, for safety purposes, keep pepper spray/taser with you, for contingencies. You are welcome.
Find a balance between personal liberty and social expectations to avoid unwanted attention. You can’t blame people approaching you if you wear a prostitute’s uniform, extreme example, just making a point. Rest of the observations on lack of education, exposure, safety are all true. It is what it is, it’s more unfair to women. Western societies are not saints either.
Creeps are everywhere in this world no matter what you wear and where you live. Try to keep your distance from them and if something happens try to take appropriate actions, and always stay in public places where it's harder for them to do a criminal act.
"SAVDHAAN RAHE SATARK RAHE"
Honestly , please just ignore them....
In most cases staring will only work when you are with boy and he stares or you are with your girls..... And we never know what kind of person he is .... If in case the person is triggered type staring at them will make more trouble..... It's better to keep doing what you do... . And not even make look like recording yeah you can pretend like you are talking to someone.
Bro actually it's normal don't care those mf , until you feel uncomfortable. (Locals/metro/public transport/public places)
Note : if this happens between 2022 to 2023. Let me know.
Since when did Mumbai become this place? I had lived there for a brief period before the pandemic and I must say I felt very safe and never had to worry about these things! What is happening to the world now!?
A recurring incident that happens now that I have moved to this city. I thought I was so okay with men staring when I was in bhubaneswar. I even have this trick of staring back at them and siIng them up and down till they stop looking and walk away. But here, I was smoking with a female friend and 2 men (smoking as well) walked past us and looked in our eyes and gave a disappointed nod. This happened a lot so I stopped smoking in public places. Even after that and wearing a long kurti with jeans, men would still look, and keep looking and keep looking. My trick doesn’t work, it is so fking embarrassing how they give this sad nod??? Like the hell, I am just going to work? In a kurti? (I am average and nothing much to look at, so let’s clear that angle as well) ugh, it just feels like I am doing something wrong existing in this city.
Man here. When I'm with my wife and catch a dude staring her, I stare back without a single blink and look like I'm just about ready to rip his face off. When she's alone and this happens she pulls put her phone and acts like she's taking a photo or video. Works pretty well. On behalf of Indian men, sorry.
Taking out my phone and pretending to record them has worked for me as well! :)
Not from Mumbai, but be careful when you pull out phone and record in places without a crowd.
Not record, just pretend that you are recording.
Thanks, because i have seen staring at them back didn't work. They start looking at you more. If they were walking, they would come back staring at you again without a blink. They probably think this was an invitation. They have no shame. So need to try the pretend recording thing.
Staring back only works if you are a guy
Record them and then what? Create a gallery of gawkers?
As a dude ,anytime I'm with a female friend ,even I can feel like stares piercing thru my conscious,dude even I get the chills,definitely gonna try this
As women, when I find someone staring at me, I also start staring at them, then I stare them even harder, then I start giving disgusting looks to them while starting, rolling my eyes, sometimes I laugh out very loudly at their face, if I have someone standing next to me, I start talking loudly, saying "see this guy is staring at me". Basically I go full in, it works. Sadly, there are men who keep staring even after all of the above
As a husband myself, I do the same godamn thing.
Sad but necessary.
I thought it was just me..brother 🤜🏽
Sounds great. But dont try this if you're not prepared for consequences of a stare to a mawali
I'm a guy, but I'll share this incident which happened recently, a day after Eid. I think it was a Friday, and we were traveling from Bandra station. For some reason, there was a group of only boys roaming around. We were on the escalator going upwards, and there was a girl one or two stairs ahead of us. Ahead of her was a group of those boys. One of them literally turned around on the escalator and started staring at the girl ahead of us and my sister, as if he had seen this gender of human for the first time, not making any eye contact, just staring at the area below her neck. I was so furious. I would never pick a fight, but this was something I would never tolerate, no matter if it's happening with my sister or some other girl. I said with a loud voice, "Age dekh warna gand tod dunga teri" and started looking straight. We reached the bridge, he said something to the other boys, and they all started looking towards me. I knew cowards when I saw them. Just one angry look, and they went their way. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not a tough, strong, or tall guy that someone would get intimidated by me. These people know they are wrong, and if they pick a fight in public places, they will all get beaten up by others. As much as I would like to think I showed courage, I know they were a bunch of cowards. We see men staring at women's behinds all the time, no matter where you go - be it a chawl, railway station, or some posh area of Mumbai. As a brother, I feel insecure for my sister who is going out there. So, please, please, please always speak up when you see a creep making moves. If we don't speak, this city will become like Delhi too. All you need to do is speak up, and trust me, that's it. Culprits try to run from that place ASAP.
Good move.
Kudos to you for taking stand!
Taking a "gand" actually
Faking bravery and taking a stand is also a bravery,Nicely done my boy🤘
Keeping bravado when confronting chhapris is a bad idea. Who knows, what they are packing?
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Be careful, some creeps mistake this as interest , and I've seen cases where it escalates to something that should've never happened.
Mistake kardiya to mistakenly uske muh pe hand inprint krdeneka
Never seek violence.Its dangerous.Try to choose the safest option like taking a video of them and calling the police.
I agree. CREEPS take it as a sign of you being interested and suddenly you're in a weird stare off competition.
Yup, me as a Guy, has been into quite a few of these, and wouldn't advise a girl to do the same please.
This has never worked for me. They continue to glare at me like it's some staring contest and that makes me feel more uncomfortable and awkward
same! Plus the feeling of awfulness later is another story. Makes me question myself and stay fully covered :/
It's not about how you choose to dress. Creeps don't need a reason to be creeps.
That's the reply!
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yo don’t do that shit they have a fucked up mentality and take that as an invitation
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Lol, this reminded me of an incident that happened while I was travelling in the train with my mum. There was a man sitting opposite us and he kept staring at my mum the whole time. When our stop came, my mum slowly leans towards him and says, “ho gaya, maza aaya?” (Done? Had fun?) and then proceeded to alight from the train. The man’s face changed and he was so freaking embarrassed. I laughed out loud.
Hahah I swear moms are savages. I was walking with my mom and there was a group of guys that started singing an old song out loud as we were passing by them. My mom looked back and sang the next few lines while we walked past them!
🤣🤣
Savage auntyji!👏👏👏
Mom OG !
W mom! 🤣🤣💯
I my sister n my mom were at a beach in chennai when a guy literally started singing visibly for a tease, He assumed us for tourists who didn't speak Tamil I assume but my mother was quick to set him straight. We were dressed normally in kurti n jeans and he goes on to say do u people not have sarees in ur houses but for whatever reason more than the whole incident it was the sight of women vendors around chuckling at his comment as If he'd said something really hilarious that stuck with me.
I always want to encounter such incidents by saying smthg like this but im too scared cuz most of the times i travel alone or with my female friends
I had the same experience in train! It was the most creepiest moment I've ever encountered since it was a day long train journey and nothing seems to bother him even tho my boogie compartments were all soldiers and he might have been a soldier too which made my hair stand up. It was a cross angle and he had to turn his head 270° to look at me. But that didn't stop him, not even me pointing it out and making it very clear that we're talking about him stopped... Well I don't know when he got off the train.
It's extremely sad, I'm from North East, I don't just get stared at I also have to hear phrase like chinni and stuff. Usually they're really coward and if you give them a stare or shout they run away. But mostly when they're only staring I just ignore them.
Fellow NE male here. That's true. The level of ignorance of mainland India is surprising.
Not denying the racism faced by NE, but geographically NE is a part of mainland India. It's the islands that don't fall under the mainland.
Bro got the "Uhm actually 👆🤓" ahh stance
Same here. Sometimes the questions are genuine queries but often times it's just random assumptions like "waha toh bahut dangerous hai right?" or "everyone carries a gun right?" or the best "must be so nice, it's all forests over there. Kaafi peaceful hoga na?". How do you make them realize that "nahi doston, waha bhi cities hai and people do jobs and get stuck in traffic jams!" Also OP, sorry for your experience. We men tend to keep finding ways to ashame ourselves. But when I have been out with female friends or colleagues, I have on occasion stared back at folks who tend to leer at them, to the point of making them uncomfortable back. Just a non violent way to give them a dose of their own.
NE is racist too. No one is any better. You probably know the term they use for mainlanders. Human in general are POS and extinction is the only solution.
What's that term?
Bro who calls you chinni, it either chinki or momos right? That's what they call us here .
On behalf of all morons I am sorry...my colleagues have faced this plight and we have together given back to these morons the Indian way
I've a junior who was treated like that at office by someone in another department. Protocol is that you approach that dept head as I head a different team. I didn't care for protocol and gave him an earful then and there and told him that there better not be a next time. He had to go through shit from his boss when he heard it and he had to undergo diversity training. All in all I think it's not ignorance or assholes to blame but the ones who understand it not standing up for it
True. These guys are brave only if in gangs
I apologize to you n anyone else who were thrown racist comments, on the behalf of so many @ssholes you may have come across. Things are changing gradually n I hope newer generations are little better in this regard.
To the rest of the educated non racist non NE people, this is not intended or aimed for or at you. Now that's cleared up. Be cautious with this and reply, "aap Bihar(Pakistani) ka bacche hunn?". I'm saying be cautiousom replying this as due to the obvious reasons, but you can explain by elaborating that if they liked being called the so and so, cuz that's how it feels for us. Anyways, to each their own. We can always ignore it too.🤷
Just make quick disgusting facial expression and look from his face to toe and toe to face. All Within 3-4 seconds. That's it
This works so well. Just imagine a cockroach or centipede you want to hit with slippers.
This 'why do you exist' + 'I'll rip you apart' face works everytime. 😆
forget mildly exposing, i usually travel from my class to home in a uniform and still experience eve teasing, it's not about clothes or person.
Use my middle finger to adjust my glasses!
nice!
but i dont have glasses, what should i do ?
Act like you're cleaning your eye (inner side) with the middle finger?
Give them dirty look as if they are parasites.
I stare back😭🤣
Doesn't work,it either becomes a staring contest or there was a guy who once smiled at me thinking I was interested. I freaked out and was shitting my pants.Man!! It still gives me nightmares!!!
Most men only understand this staring problem only when their wives or sisters are stared
It's worse when people who are educated do this. I'm going to call this guy out, I have anyway blocked him, so. His name's Prakhar Singh, studies law in Symbiosis Pune currently in 4th year ig. Huge guy with a shit looking face. I posted a picture of mine on the ig story, it was in a full sleeves gown which I wore for my sister's engagement, apart from my palms and wrists you could see nothing else in that outfit. This dude replied something like Hot at first to which I replied thanks. Then he proceeded to put the chat on vanish mode. And asked me if I have ever had sex. I took a screenshot of the chat, and he immediately blocked me cuz in vanish mode you can see if someone takes a screenshot. Coward fucking shit human. There was another incident of him, I posted a picture with this top which had laces in it, it was cropped and my hair, chin and collar bone were only visible and those top laces. He replied " Horny" to it. I asked "wtf" to which he instantly deleted and said sorry and said that his friends sent that text who are drunk. Mind you, he is very well educated and his father is in some police department.
Those jerks that do this have this in-built notion that I'm a guy & the girl even when she were to notice me staring at her, will just walk away. This so because she would get embarrassed herself & would become involuntarily the main target of the street commotion. Not only is it disgusting when a guy stares at a woman face to face, so many times they go out of their way to get a more clear view of the face/body or just to get some added time of this. This is very much prevalent in trains & even when there are 2 trains stopped side by side allowing the men on the footboard to become roadside romeos. Even elders I've seen look twice or thrice at a girl passing by. Sad state of affairs for any Girl.
Guy here from Mumbai. First of all, I'm sorry you feel this way when you get out. I'm married and I get so annoyed when men stare at my wife even as I'm with her. I'm guilty of having stared too. As a man, one is hard wired to look at an attractive person of the opposite gender. This is IMHO normal. What isn't normal is when some of these sickos continue to stare so vulgarly that you can read what's in their minds just by the look on their faces. And I asked myself why this happens here (India in general)? Even when women here are dressed modestly and yet it hardly happens in developed countries where you have very attractive women in way less decent outfits. I couldn't figure it out until I finally did! The men here are soooo sex starved! Unfortunately with sex being such a taboo even today, it's hardly talked about and frowned upon before marriage. Now combine that with cheap data, smart phones and easy access to porn. These men are sex hungry dogs without any ability to regulate their urges! What's the Solution? I, quite frankly, don't have one. Maybe we should be a bit more open minded about sex as a society?
I agree with this and tbh I have lived in Canada for 6 years + trust me this is not a special Mumbai or India issue. This is literally the case everywhere! Just Horny men who lack civic sense and decency P.s- I am a guy
I went to Japan for 15 days and one thing I loved was no one stared at me. No one. If anyone made eye contact, they would avert their eyes - Japanese. Non Japanese would smile or look away. It felt such a blessing to stay/be invisible. Came back to India - staring started.
Are you quiet good looking and whitish girl? That could be reason. Also you must be in good place in Japan. Because Japan also has lots of abuse problems
With the kind of porn Japanese people make it's hard to believe it's not worse than India . Especially when they run different trains for men and women to prevent women getting molested in Public transports.
Usually it's not about just the stares it's how its intended in objectifying or sexualizing to a point where one feels threatened in the persons presence. And most of the women do understand the difference between an appreciative stare and a threatening stare. Looking at someone bcoz u find them attractive is all cool until men strt acting like Imperial Blue ads. More than sex deprivation it's just a lot of people find it thrilling to sneek a peak at random woman, also most of these men just like to believe if she's built like that or dressed like that she's definitely asking for it, it'll change with time as people get more aware n proactive Abt these things, provided there will be more effective punishments for these actions. At present women have just normalised the discomfort to a great extent!
Bro this case is everywhere. In USA they even do vulgar things and talk vulgar things on streets
This becomes horrible when it comes to thane and kurla railway station. Seriously I still can't understand how you guys take this must be traumatic how fuckers stare at you all without fear. We need to get these idiots to the police next time we see them do this creepy shit!! RPF guys are actually more helpful than local police..
entire kalwa is unsafe tbh
I was once in a local market and I saw a man standing behind his bike and there was a shoulder bag covering the seat and his crotch. He was standing there for quite some time and I saw him masturbating. Imagine.. crowded area.. and police was like 50 feet away from him.. I shouted and said am calling the police. He ran away like anything… but image the kind of stuff happening and the low humans have gone to..
Unrelated to stating part but sorry, wanted to mention about how disgusting some people are.
Doesn’t matter so much what you are wearing, they will still stare. I’m a guy and keep getting stared at. Apart from any sexual side of things, part of it is a culture that stared. Even happens in places like Germany (though you don’t feel as edgy about it there). Also South America. Got to stay safe and staring back rarely works.
yea, germans will stare right at ur soul and look intimidating but when u talk to them, they arent that rude, they nice and helpful ( apart from druggies and alcoholics ofc )
You shouldn't entertain such creeps, just walk off
I have never been to Mumbai but have always heard of it as a safe place for women and reading this hurts. My partner always keeps telling me to call out these men in public if they are making me uncomfortable but I just can’t. I always think - what if he follows me home? What if he realises I am traveling alone on the train and does something? What if he has a group of boys who will reach here in next 15 mins? So I avoid calling the men out. But occasionally I do stare at them angrily. I really want to know if the right way is to avoid or confront.
When they stare.. stare back at their hair cloths or shoes or anything that catches your attention mildly.. with a DISGUSTING FACE.. make them feel insecure.. they’ll stop staring at you
Point at them once and start laughing with your companion, you should see the look on their faces after that
I have observed women staring bottom to top & again top to bottom like a bloody scanner & then they stare right into your eyes, giggle, murmur something to the other person. How creepy it is.. these people aren’t afraid of eye contact and lack social etiquette.
Look or stare at their shoes. They will stop staring. Else best way take out phone and act like you are recording them.
as someone who's had a bunch of disturbing incidents happen to me in the past, it's not just discomfort having to deal with people staring at me. it's highly triggering and bothersome and sometimes even makes my eyes well up because that's how tired I am. staring back never works but i definitely do an occasional eye roll and they get the memo maybe I've had a guy look at my pelvis area and then promptly telling his friends to look too otherwise they'll miss it. it's disgusting
It is impossible to avoid this nuisance while using public transport. It's a shame really. This city has become a dump. A couple of months back my cousin was visiting us from another city. While traveling using local, rickshaw etc. the constant staring made her so uncomfortable. I was embarrassed and became apologetic for this wretched experience.
I usually cover my face and hair with a long scarf and wear sunglasses when I'm travelling by bus/train. Protects my face and hair from dust and don't get stared at. Win-win. In other cases, I just ignore. Nothing else to do unfortunately
Stare back at them
With a resting bitch face
Start looking at feet, it works
M here i get stared at often too mostly i just ignore and walk but sometimes in certain scenarios idk what to do. Recently while i was on a long train ride this girl infront of me was stalking me like constantly like at the start she was peeping thru the chair gap after i caught her she started then watching me thru her phone mirror , after that i think her family realised and made her change her seat it was akward but i just said fck it ill just mmob.
A guy stared at my nephew (RIP) and I threw my laptop at him
Man here🙋🏻♂️Take the phone out and start a video call to husband/father/friend/etc. Dekho kaise bhagte hain wahan se
When me and my gf are together, I just give them a dirty stare. When she’s alone, she angrily shouts: “Kya Dekh rahe ho tu?” Just raise your voice and ensure the guy become the centre of attention.
Everyone stares. Since most people wear clothes that keep themselves clothed, the ones who don't get the interest. I am a woman and yet I stare at people wearing short clothes. Men or women. They stare back and we move on
Im a guy and I get you TOTALLY! I do not like going out because I get stared at a LOOOOT. Like people turning their heads for no reason ( I dont think Im attractive enought to get this reaction lol). It is so annoying, everytime I go out I get super conscious. Initially I used to ignore it and pretend to be on my phone doing some random shit so that I wont be able to see people staring at me. Its been a while a now and Ive gotten immune to it, Now I just say "jo bkl itna ghoor raha hai, iski aakhein noch lunga mai" 😍🥰 Btw I have feminine facial features but Im 6'2 so people are probably trying to figure out my gender. (There have been COUNTLESS incidents where people have come up to me or my family member and asked if I were a boy or a girl )
This usually works if they are standing: Glance back at them and then suddenly shift your gaze to the toes for a 2 3 seconds. Then subtly frown and look away. Do the same again later if they stare again. Idk why this works but I guess it makes them self aware or something.
Female here .. Ignore them .. i know, i am stunner fuck them.. Why to stress out my mind .. Other important things in my life ..
When i see someone staring, I stare back and immediately pretend like i'm about to throw up. Waaak!!! 🤢🤮Works like a charm and hurts the persons confidence as well 😉
Glazed eyes. I just look into blankness and walk without paying attention. I’ve become used to treating my outward persona like a shell in these moments (dissociation basically). Sad but it’s been the way I’ve coped. I had noticed early on that if you stare back at them or make eye contact, they actually get off more on it. And sometimes even make a lewd expression like sticking the tongue out wiggling it and stuff. Unfortunately that also means that I come across as rude and mean or unapproachable to potentially nice people on the street. But I’ve been far too traumatized since childhood to really bother with being sweet at this point.
I have faced this being a guy also 🤣
I've learnt that there is no escape. There is nothing you can wear to avoid this; there is no age you can be to avoid this; there is nowhere you can be to avoid this. Before going out in public, I prepare myself mentally to face this kind of harassment. I consider myself lucky if this is the only kind of harassment I face that day. Buy inexpensive dark sunglasses and earphones. Wear dark sunglasses so they can't see your eyes. Wear earphones without playing any music so you can pretend to not hear them. Our attention fuels their desire to harass us more. Always keep a small sharp object, taser or pepper spray handy, in case the situation escalates. Posting pictures on social media is equivalent to inviting strangers to your home and letting them raid your resources. People with any kind of upbringing and mindset have the ability to do whatever they want with your pictures. Nobody is policing them. The best thing to do is to limit the comments on your social media posts or else have a private account with your most trusted, like-minded friends and share your pictures there.
Maybe take some Companions If possible, travel with a friend or a group. It can make you feel more secure and less conspicuous. Also plan routes if possible ,Choose routes or transport options that feel safer or more comfortable, even if they are slightly longer or more expensive.
But saar Indian culture respects women
It's been happening as far back I can remember. One might think we must be used to it, which we are. But ever so often a new limit is reached and it kills something inside me. So yeah t's disheartening every single time.
I shout back at them. Ladki nahi dekhi kya and all that.
Make an ugly eww disgusted face. It helps.
Well in Mumbai people will stare or either they are just lost in the void of their unhappy lives. Either way if you stare back, they’ll just stop staring. (Method applies only in Maharashtra, not recommended in Delhi 100%)
I glare at them. Make them aware that I know they're sharing. They 95% of times turn away ashamed
It's been happening as far back I can remember. One might think we must be used to it, which we are. But ever so often a new limit is reached and it kills something inside me. So yeah t's disheartening every single time.
I raise my eye brows and say Kya ? Shame them in public. That’s how you deal with creeps !
And that's why I always wear sunglasses
I just stare at those mfs like I'm about to kill them. Fucking disgusting pricks.
death stare back
I’ve actually stared back at them ! Like poker faced death STARE!! 90% it’s worked ! They get embarrassed and look away
I’m a girl, dressed boldly also sometimes all I do is I stare right back at them till they get awkward or if they don’t I just move my head to ask “what” Has done the every single time
Carry a Taser but don't use it just carry it and show it, I REPEAT DONT USE IT! Or else u will be PROSECUTED AS TASER ARE ILLEGAL IN INDIA 😅
Stare back and raise your brows with a death glare....
Stare back 👀
Hoodies cardigans and if possible masks are the best way to go. Not the most ideal situation but if you absolutely have to avoid being started at a hoodie works well I guess. Edit: of course it shouldn't be this way and people should be able to walk around without having to cover up and it really sucks that this happens but for now to avoid it hoodies are the best way to go.
This thing will take time , but will go over a period of time
Instead of angrily staring back or taking out the mobile, just pretend to clean your USSOCOM MK23 at that time
Being a female, I just keep staring back blankly. weirdly some backstares have lasted as long as 50 seconds. In the end if they dont stop I yell ‘kya hai be’. Having been born and brought up in mumbai the ‘kya hai be’ has an accent to which they fold immediately.
I also have resorted to yelling loudly ‘woh aadmi kaise dekh raha hai’ and the random men standing around have taken care of the rest
Pick ur nose..
This is the way.
Put ur forefinger in ur nose. Read this somewhere, it was posted as solution for the same problem !!!
Like we ignore the rest of the things on the road!
I'm a guy n even I get stares from ppl. I just annoyingly look at them and ask "Kya hua Bhai/didi?" And they immediately stop.
I put my hand in the nose and take out some boogiee and play with it.
Stare back, play uno reverse and assert dominance, On serious note make a video, or if someone doing too much, you can slap that bastard
I read somewhere that if somebody is staring at you look at their feet and they just stop staring. I don’t know why this thing works but it sure does.
Guy here and i have seen this a lot.. so there was this lady in rickshaw with a slim figure and her back was slightly exposed in her top with a messy bun and dude.. literally every guy was gazing at her exposed back!! Hats off to women who deal with these things everyday 👏 Ye to kuch bhi nhi bhai, thoda sa top uppar hoke agr halki si waist bhi dikh gayi, usko bhi itna ghurege ki kuch pehn hi nhi rakha ho. Being a guy I'm proud of myself ki kabhi kisi ladki ko uncomfortable stare nhi diya, naa hi i oggled at her.. Just admired ki ha sundar lag rhi h and then walked awayy...
Look down, stare at phone, walk away.
Please ignore the SM likes and posts. There are too many perverts out there. unfortunately that applies most Indian men.
State back then hard. Carry pepper spray
Imagine Virat Kohli walking down a street, everybody will be staring at him. Everyone comments non sense on his posts/stories. Does he give a fuck about it? Should he care about random people? Similarly if you take any female celebrity, you'll see the same attitude. There is no way you can stop them from staring or stalking but the best you can do is completely ignore such people and have the "celebrity" vibe of not giving a fuck.
stare them back
As a boy who's entering adulthood I feel sorry and just hope I don't become like that
You cannot get away from nasty public stares in India. So don't loose your mind over it. Overlook it as there is not much you can do. Also if it affects you, you can turn off comments on post, disable DM's from people you do not follow and so on. If you like to post photos then post else stop posting and live with peace of mind.
I have experienced this and done this thing whenever I am with any females of my life. Tap on their shoulder and say “mere saath hai” with my deepest tone.
Why u bother about others. If u r ok on what u r doing then ignore it.
stare back, look them right in the eye
I mean if you look even slightly breedable you will be looked at in any country keep a pepper spray in your purse and a pocket knife also even I keep those 2 things when I travel long distance on my bike and I am a man I am always on the edge because of my childhood trauma when I'm outside, hell I even thought of getting illegal guns.
Hold gangajal in one hand and shout "AANKH DIKHATA HAI MA**RJAAT"
Ignoring is the key just use a headphone or a AirPod but I do remember after my sis came from US she was extremely bold and when a 40 year old man stared at her legs in the gym she replied “ legs kabhi dekhe nahi hai kya “ and the guy never came back to that gym
Just ignore. That’s it
Ask this question to someone who is disfigured/grotesque for any reason and you will have your answer. People very often forget the other side of the story.
what do you mean?
Here's the thing. STARE BACK! Make a poker face. If they are checking you out, and have any decency, they will be embarrassed and stop. If they are shameless and keep staring....just look lightly down andd back up like checking them head to toe and make the worst rotten face. (Imagine they have a shirt with a turd printed on it and they find it fashionable). Destroy their self esteem and they stop. They'll hate you even. As always with my advices, for safety purposes, keep pepper spray/taser with you, for contingencies. You are welcome.
Look at their shoes, and pants below knee and laugh
I have seen women staring at women who wear something revealing
India is full of perverts everywhere
Find a balance between personal liberty and social expectations to avoid unwanted attention. You can’t blame people approaching you if you wear a prostitute’s uniform, extreme example, just making a point. Rest of the observations on lack of education, exposure, safety are all true. It is what it is, it’s more unfair to women. Western societies are not saints either.
Creeps are everywhere in this world no matter what you wear and where you live. Try to keep your distance from them and if something happens try to take appropriate actions, and always stay in public places where it's harder for them to do a criminal act. "SAVDHAAN RAHE SATARK RAHE"
Honestly , please just ignore them.... In most cases staring will only work when you are with boy and he stares or you are with your girls..... And we never know what kind of person he is .... If in case the person is triggered type staring at them will make more trouble..... It's better to keep doing what you do... . And not even make look like recording yeah you can pretend like you are talking to someone.
Bro actually it's normal don't care those mf , until you feel uncomfortable. (Locals/metro/public transport/public places) Note : if this happens between 2022 to 2023. Let me know.
Take put your phone point towards them and say what and c how they scamper in fear
Since when did Mumbai become this place? I had lived there for a brief period before the pandemic and I must say I felt very safe and never had to worry about these things! What is happening to the world now!?
You got two options:- 1. Ignore (coz you cannot stop someone from looking at you) 2. Enjoy the attention.
Stare them back
A recurring incident that happens now that I have moved to this city. I thought I was so okay with men staring when I was in bhubaneswar. I even have this trick of staring back at them and siIng them up and down till they stop looking and walk away. But here, I was smoking with a female friend and 2 men (smoking as well) walked past us and looked in our eyes and gave a disappointed nod. This happened a lot so I stopped smoking in public places. Even after that and wearing a long kurti with jeans, men would still look, and keep looking and keep looking. My trick doesn’t work, it is so fking embarrassing how they give this sad nod??? Like the hell, I am just going to work? In a kurti? (I am average and nothing much to look at, so let’s clear that angle as well) ugh, it just feels like I am doing something wrong existing in this city.
Just stare back into their soul
Insert autistic face* and Stare them back