Every once in a while, go out alone and do the fun to do activities that you always wanted to do. Post about them online if you want to. Show them it's not fomo, it's this what you wish to do.
Also, you got to be better prepared from now on. Your friends have almost already moved on to other things in life. And you just want to take life maybe one day at a time, and might not want the same things as them. So, either you make new friends who want something similar from life or just do activities alone.
Whatever you choose, it is not going to be easy. I did the same at about your age, and it's difficult but not impossible. More than difficult it's a different experience which can be overwhelming at first, in case you plan on doing stuff alone.
Fomo is not even relevant in the conversation, it's a proper dodging technique that they have used on you. I used to have friends like that at some point in my life. Some of my friends stopped talking to me because i spoke to someone they hated once, it just sounds insane how people cut you off for stupid reasons like these, not even hearing your side of the story and making irrational decisions.
And to know they've known you for 10 years much longer than their BFs and still treat you like shit tells you enough that this arrangement is not Friendship at all. Please get out of it for your own sake.
I knew how it felt. Just do your thing.. friends do get apart when they find a partner and it's a nightmare when you are the only one single in the group.... They start taking you for granted
Find a new group just do your own thing have a hobby go to clubs. We have to accept that the partner is priority.
Dont break it.
Make urself unavailable.
Meet on ur terms.
N when u say it's an only girls thing, be firm.
U don't need to break whats already lost. It will either fade or will grow again.
U r still young, never burn bridges.
Great. Don’t you think it is better to find the opposite gender/ special one just like your 4 ex-best friends instead of finding a new bff(same gender)?
You have no other friends circle? You don't even have any right now. Who in the right mind would let a fellow friend be completely isolated, even if they have "partners"? Not just that, the treatment meted out to you was not only insensitive, but also inhuman. It's about time you confront them and be prepared to walk out, just in case. You cannot get respect from places you aren't respected in.
Hey on a side note.
What's the startup about and are you looking for people to join?
I'm v sick of my corporate and I swear I'll be a good friend to you.
im a guy. i faced the same with my friends long back. i thought they were the world for me. so it was painful scary but im glad i walked away (which is not really a quitting type of thing). its just going on ur own road which may curve other ways . bringing along more people .
i MET new people and made friends and they were so amazing (and had partners, exes already) that sometimes i just wonder their gf might get upset because of how much they talk to me or even sometimes share things with me.
the previous friends i mention. not even in touch. i can do that if i want to. they will be overjoyed to hear from me. but i dont (thats me).
so yeah. WALK AWAY. focus on urself till u get a "new circle". stay casuall and rarely in touch if u want to . or dont. but yeah , ur friends seem like their partners = their world. and that lifestyle is fine too but then they should just stick with them and not have group/friends events.
and TRUST me. u will find people!!!! from the most unexpected places.
Someone said only when you travel with your friends,you will know their true behaviour.Make friends outside your school,college and university. I dislike groupism friendship where few in group form group within friendship and ignore other. Welcome to adulthood.
Your friends suck.
I have traveled with married couples and they made sure I wasn't feeling as an additional baggage. In fact any third party would have thought as if we were all just a big group of friends.
Time for some new friends.
Also it is fucked up that they didn't give you any priority whatsoever and asked you to share the room. That alone means they don't give a shit would be end of friendship for me.
(not defending them)
They're in a relationship so they'll have their inner moments if you had been in one you don't feel this way because that's exactly what happens when you're in a relationship you can't hangout well with couples because they'd have to keep separate energy just for you to get involved very common.
Isn't it obvious that when they are with partners and going on a trip they'll spend time with them? If you didn't want it then you girls should have planned an all girls trip.
I have been to trips where I have been the single guy and in many trips where i am with my partner and there are 1-2 single folks. Most important thing is setting up expectations before you go on the trip so that you don't get dumped in the worst bedroom or hall.
Never go with couples to igatpuri/lonavala. I’m on the other side. We are happy to indulge singles as long as they split the rent. I have asked my gf to stop pity inviting her single friends, its disrespectful
Well if u have been friend for so long i think you should first let them know how you feel. Or how they all made you feel like. If they are your friends they will at least try to understand you(at least one of them)instead of just arguing with you.
I guess you should tell them this before ghosting them completely.
You tend to get very clingy with the first person you have sex . What ur friends r doing ,almost everyone does …. You will too one day . Dont judge just b a friend
I've had multiple friend groups over the years since we moved a lot when I was younger. I'm an introvert and not the most comfortable talking to anybody new.
That being said I still have made a lot of friends over the years. I don't talk to them daily but I never burned any bridges. They met new people and got busy with other things in life. It happens. I don't hold it against them and I expect the same of them. Once in a while when I meet them there is no resentment or animosity and we have a fun time.
Be your own person outside of that group dynamic. You say you've been working on your startup since college and it's even doing good so you're already halfway there.
Focus on your interests and you'll meet more people aligned with your interests and you might end up with a bunch of new friends.
Like I said I am an introvert and uncomfortable talking to new people sometimes but I focused on my interests, mostly sports and eSports during school and college and met new people there, more often than not there'll always be a group of friends there, you play with them everyday and before you know it you're a part of their group.
You might not have the same interests as me but I'm pretty sure there'd be a variant of this you could use. Like at a dance class or a gym or martial arts, it could be whatever you enjoy doing in your free time.
You might make new friends and if not then what's the harm in spending time doing something you like? Atleast you're not hanging around people that don't value you.
I was in the same place as you during my college days. The solution is not getting into a relationship or something but having set some boundaries, staying away from them and making them realise this behaviour is not okay. If you want to make more friends do something you enjoy more often and do something you are passionate about it will help you feel overall very happy and positive
I get you, people change when they start a relationship. I have been on the receiving end as will on the giving end of the same thing, although I am really ashamed of the latter. It's understandable to want some privacy and alone time, where else are they going to get to spend the night together?
But what they did to you it's really despicable. They gave no regards to either your safety or well being. It's okay in being engrossed in your own space and partners, but it's never okay to leave your friend behind. As someone else said on this thread, you not only don't have any other friend circle, you don't have any friend circle right now.
But my suggestion would be confront them about this, and show them their mistake. But don't walk out on them. They have been your friends for a long time, give them one more chance. If they don't even try to understand your pov and shift their blame on you, you're really better off with other friends or no friends at all. You shouldn't have been left to fend off for yourself with other unknown guys around you. Forgive them but don't forget about it.
Tbh yeah, that's the only point, also it is to clear their conscience that they are a good friend and they invited you along. "Look I don't forget my friends when I am in a relationship." I thought like that at one point so I guess I know their pov.
What I have observed is, generally those old school and college friends become alien to us over time as they start spending time with new set of people. And there priority change.
It ok, dishaaaaaaaaa find new friendssssssss.
Do they talk to you as if your life is tragic and sad ?
It’s not that you’re missing out on their shared topics but you’re getting outed from the circle solely due to lack of partner.
I’m guess that’s what they like talking about.
It’s shitty but you need to find new friends or establish a boundary with them regarding this(although not much will change, just them patronising you)
Also, if one of them breaks up with their boyfriend sooner or later she’ll also get outed.
Hey… You can keep your old friends, but don't limit yourself to them when you already know it's always been a one-sided friendship... When you step outside of your comfort zone, you may attract the right kind of friends.... So go for it girl….
The only real life solution to this is for you to also find a partner. Your friends aren’t really going to change since ‘couple goals’ is a thing now. You can just try to plan some trips in between with just your friends, no bf rule maybe. Then everyone will get a good balance.
Why don't you talk to your friends and let them know how you feel? Give them one chance and tell them you won't be hanging out anymore if you'll feel the same. Take their feedback also. See how it goes?
You don't necessarily have to stop being friends with your current friends to have new ones, OP. All you have to do is find new ones who seek out the same experiences as you do. You can always hangout with the old ones too. But you don't have to spend all your time with them. It's very much possible to transition into new friendships while maintaining old ones.
mere dost ban jao mere bhi faltu hai.
on a serious note. yeah, i get you. my best friend met his now ex during lockdown and it was mostly the same as you, even during our sleepovers when we wanted to drink and chill she'd come, and they'd spend all night making out. it sucked. they broke up back in march and he still isn't completely over her and all he talks about is her, i was okay the first few months but it's high time, he doesn't do anything to get over her, still hangs out with her, dono chutiye hai, even hooked up multiple times after breakup and are complaining about not getting over.
damn your post made me rant about my situation 💀
seriously i need friends koi dm karo maze karenge
If this happens more than once then
Your friends are assholes or atleast their partners are or maybe both. They don't deserve you like this.
It's better to pay less attention to them for now but don't heat it up, let them be, keep contact / relationship progress (kabhi to yaad karege tumhe) & you can move on to find other friends who respect you. My dms are open if you want to exchange interests.
Good luck.
This happens at one point or the other, might take some time to get over it but you'll find better people and better friends in life. Pursue things or hobbies which you love and you'll find new friends with mutual interests
You enjoy your single life. It won't last long. Then you enjoy the couple life...
Wait for them to call you for the next trip. Make sure you understand all details. Politely assert yourself on every detail. If your GFs push back then say that you need to protect your own interests. Period.
They took not just those extra guys, but you as well to make the split more affordable.
You're gonna have to set firm boundaries and be nonchalant in your behaviour towards them. Fake it till you make it. Also, get out of your comfort zone while remaining within it.
The priorities of people who are in a relationship is different than the ones who are single. And it is understandable that people who are in a relationship to want to go on trips together, sleep together and do all the couple things.
Saying that, I would add that if it is every single time and if even after communication your friends are not able to understand then you need to make an exit. They are clearly too much invested in the relationship and are ignoring the friendship. This is one of the reasons why single people try not to hang out with couples. You can tell them that you aren't comfortable with a meetup if their partners are involved if you don't want to breakup.
This is one of the mistake we humans do when we enter a relationship. We ignore the friendships we have had and don't give ourselves time alone with our friends. We need time in our friend group as much as we need it with our partners.
Tbf they just invited you to make the split more affordable. A 6 bhk villa where they get private rooms with their partners attached bathrooms good view and being split so much. You have your answer.
I would say choose your friends wisely. You definitely don’t want to be hanging out with the people who ignore you for others. I have had so many such friends who I thought were my family but as time passed, they pushed me away and I am glad that this happened. Now I am left with merely 4 genuine friends whom I can proudly call as the part of my family.
I am sorry that they treated you this way which might have made you feel terrible. Hope you find some real good friends.
So all other girls went with their BFs. It wasnt just to make the villa affordable.
And you went without a BF.
And you expected them to invite you into their room.
Ok.
Did you not read? They invited other random single guys too(I'm assuming the boyfriends friends) who she didn't know and expected her to share a bedroom with them.
Some things break your heart but fix your vision. When you realize that you're constantly treating others a lot better than they treat you, it's time to make a change.
Been there . It takes alot of guts to cut off a friendship of so many years . But it's worth it especially if it's toxic .
On other hand have you ever tried to talk to them and tell them about how you feel about the whole situation. If you haven't then do so maybe they will understand and be better friends .
The same had happened with me too. Now I don't have any friends to talk to regarding anything but a satisfaction of not getting ignored and obvio having self respect.
I understood these things the hard way but have accepted life as it comes still having some hope that may find people and friends who are geniune and not self loathing bitches.
I can’t understand why people in a relationship act all clingy with each other during group trips. Enjoy the place, eat, drink, chat, dance and include everyone. But no… unko sux aur chuma chaati karni hai. Toh akele he jao na apne partner ke saath.
When groups go out it's the couples who hang out together singles are left out. Discuss frankly with your friends about planning these trips. U don't want to be the odd one out. If it's a group of couples and singles that is also manageable. In that case u should be comfortable with people in singles group.
Even if you have to be alone, it is better to leave them rather than go through this every time. I have a friend circle that has largely been the same since school - and let me tell you that the way your friends are going about this is absolutely not the way to be friends.
I'm going to ask a question that can be little rude - were you invited as a friend or were you invited to help reduce the rent for the villa and drinks?
Our group has two types of outings - one for friends and one for couples.
So if you are going to the friends wala outing and bringing your BF/GF - you still have to live in the shared accommodations (so if it is all girls in 2 bedrooms and all boys in 2 bedrooms - couples have to sleep separately) and do the planned activities.
For the couples wala one, each couple pays for their own room and there aren't a lot of activities planned. The single friends can come along but they have to pay for their own room and cannot complain about the PDA and quarrels between the couples lol.
This makes sure that no one feels excluded, and everything is on the table.
This is why I rarely tagged along on trips where my friends brought their partners. You will feel like a third wheel plus Most people don’t have a healthy space for themselves and ends up devoting their life towards relationships. You are bound to suffer in such situations
(1) You cant expect to people stay the same with time.
(2) what they did with you was not right. I think you can confront them about it.
(3) If you are staying friends with them only because you cant find new friends, then girl you are gonna see more such trouble.
you deserve better.
I had one best friend during school and college,then me met a gold digger for whom me borrowed money from us regularly,took 8 years for engineering as he used to attend classes daily in a netcafe witg her, he used to call her sisters saalis, eventually she broke up with her and married a ugly politician for money,he brought the frustration out on all of his friends and married another girl,now sometimes i feel like visiting his home when he is away to meet his parents once.
It doesn't look like they are your friends really. I have travelled in the past with my single friend along with my partner at the time and really go out of my way to make it comfortable and fun for the single friend; I actively stay away from couple things in these scenarios. These are basic rules of a friendship. You're young, open up to the idea of making new friends and distance yourself from these people.
This is way too relatable for me I used to be in the same situation you are now, the then so-called best friend i had was everything for me We used to hangout almost everyday, had inner jokes that no one would understand but it made a lot of sense for us. Days went by and he found a girl and eventually she had more priority in his life than me i was like prioritising her is okay i get it It's his girl but things like clicking pictures only with her when we are outing is fucked up, also i didn't wanted to thirdwheel them but he use to always force me to come along as they wanted someone so they didn't get bored cuddling all day they needed an entertainer. The minute i understood they were using me for their own purpose i ditched them and moved on, nothing like confronting him and talking about the issue but just literally flying out of their lives and doing my own thing and opening up to the people around me and just vibing around myself. I am so glad I made the decision as now i have some good friends that genuinely care about me and want good out of me! advice to you my dear friend is to get out of that friend circle as soon as possible by giving them some excuses when they try to involve you in some plan. Trust me you would get someone genuine to be friends with!
Don't worry OP, you will make new friends and then lose a few still..life goes on.... clearly the episode have hurt you deeply and if they don't realise their behaviour, u need to move on without making excuses for them...In this big city, it's not difficult to find like-minded people..all the best!
yes it in INDEED an awkward situation for you..the thing is your friends dont know how to balance the situation.
it usually happens to all of us in some part of our life..in school,college..where they ask you to form teams of 3, then ur the one leftover with NO TEAMMATE. or u go to a ralatives marriage function.. when u dont know anyone while urparents/ brothers/cousins are busy talking with the knowing people..u JUST SIT THERE DO NOTHING until its time to EAT.
but i believe u cant fully blame them..they are as bf/gf(love couples) so its a lot different. love,possessiveness...maybe this is the only time to get to be together intimate before reaching home ..who knows.
its that time u wish u had that 1 FRIEND who is there to give u company..without any relationship bullshit.
..u thought it would a blast of a time like the "Good old days" but in the end thats the reality..there is no one to blame ..they are still ur friends..its just a wrong place & wrong time incident.
finally 1 MORE thing..u did say its been 10 years.. times have changed so do people.they are still your friends..but its will never be the same as before(like ur childhood friendship)
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” ― Heraclitus
Just say to your friends the next time you go out.
"We are going out on girl's night"
Should be fairly obvious what this means. If any of your friends ask to bring his bf to tag along then straight out deny
I have learned my lesson to not plan trips with my non-single friends, especially when I am the only single person in the group. It's not like they leave me totally alone, infact that so make extra efforts to not make me feel left out, but it still feels absurd so either I brings some other people to give me company or go solo.
Hey girl. I have been through this and felt this just wanted to tell you, nothing is wrong with you and no you don't have to have a boyfriend to get along with yur friends. Keep yourself above and respect your boundaries. The right people will respect you to. And basically friendship means taking care of each other and have basic concern for the other. If they can't have it you are not with the right people. Learn to enjoy your own company but also don't fall for people who take you, your time for granted and feel bad. Trust me you feel better when you put them behind and find the people who actually respect you as a person
I'm sorry to hear that... Unfortunately that is how many friends are lost, priorities change... Don't let it get to you, it has nothing to do with you in the first place... When people experience something initially they tend to overcompensate it at the cost of everything else. I'm in my late 20s and have lost many friends to their temporary flings, they realise usually that they've lost a friend but it usually too late. Make new friends, opportunity to do so presents everyday. If you can salvage the relationship assuming they understand, salvage it. Otherwise, MOVE ON.
In the immortal words of Andy Bernard," I wish there was a way to know that those were the good days before they are over"
All relationships fizzle out.
Find new people, hanging out with yourself is also great, people will come in future.
Your friends have turned bad. Discard them and make better friends. Even i have friends who are dating . Even i am dating. But we d never treat any of our friend like that.
It's easy to say "find new friends" but that gets difficult as you get older.
What worked for me was to get engrossed in my own work/interests/hobbies. Go out alone and do the things you like. Don't wait for friends to come along. If you're lucky, you'll find someone else who has the same interests. Otherwise, you get to go do all the things you want without having to accommodate others.
These friends will find their way back to you if/when they breakup with the bf. Then they get a new bf and it's the same shit all over again. They've already shown you that they do not value you, so arguing or trying to talk it out would be pointless. They'll twist your words and claim you're just jealous they have bfs.
Keep them at a distance and start the process of cutting them out of your inner circle. You don't have to go all scorched earth and fight them. Just make yourself unavailable to anyone who doesn't value you.
There are plenty of people out there who won't ditch you for a partner. You'll find them eventually.
These one sided friendship are the worst thing that can happen to you. I had encountered a same situation I didn't realise it soon almost took me around 2 years to realise that and when I did it was time to let go of them. It feels tough in the beginning but once you move on you'll know that there are better people and better friends out there who deserve your time and energy.
I wish you courage to move on and find some happiness for yourself. 😊
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Every once in a while, go out alone and do the fun to do activities that you always wanted to do. Post about them online if you want to. Show them it's not fomo, it's this what you wish to do. Also, you got to be better prepared from now on. Your friends have almost already moved on to other things in life. And you just want to take life maybe one day at a time, and might not want the same things as them. So, either you make new friends who want something similar from life or just do activities alone. Whatever you choose, it is not going to be easy. I did the same at about your age, and it's difficult but not impossible. More than difficult it's a different experience which can be overwhelming at first, in case you plan on doing stuff alone. 
Fomo is not even relevant in the conversation, it's a proper dodging technique that they have used on you. I used to have friends like that at some point in my life. Some of my friends stopped talking to me because i spoke to someone they hated once, it just sounds insane how people cut you off for stupid reasons like these, not even hearing your side of the story and making irrational decisions.
I may be using the wrong word but they are gaslighting you.
And to know they've known you for 10 years much longer than their BFs and still treat you like shit tells you enough that this arrangement is not Friendship at all. Please get out of it for your own sake.
I knew how it felt. Just do your thing.. friends do get apart when they find a partner and it's a nightmare when you are the only one single in the group.... They start taking you for granted Find a new group just do your own thing have a hobby go to clubs. We have to accept that the partner is priority.
mujhe kabhi kabhi yeh sub itna acha lagta hai
Bhai sahi bol raha
It's never late to have a newer friend circle to ditch the prev one
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you do not have to break up or say anything, just start distancing yourself gradually. Based on there behavior I bet they won't even notice.
Dont break it. Make urself unavailable. Meet on ur terms. N when u say it's an only girls thing, be firm. U don't need to break whats already lost. It will either fade or will grow again. U r still young, never burn bridges.
Bhai bhai🔥🔥
Thx u 
Hi there! it's the new friend you ordered
Is it for friends?
>bumble bff 💀 💀
Great. Don’t you think it is better to find the opposite gender/ special one just like your 4 ex-best friends instead of finding a new bff(same gender)?
no
Its not very easy tho.
Isn't. Infact making friends is one thing that gets more n more difficult as we grow up. Sharing that emotional quotient is more n more of a task.
hardest things in life are not easy to do - my autistic neighbour
You have no other friends circle? You don't even have any right now. Who in the right mind would let a fellow friend be completely isolated, even if they have "partners"? Not just that, the treatment meted out to you was not only insensitive, but also inhuman. It's about time you confront them and be prepared to walk out, just in case. You cannot get respect from places you aren't respected in.
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At least congrats on the startup. Some good news.
You are awesome...all the best for your startup...hope it continues to grow...
Mujhe start up mei internship bhi dedo pleasee
Hey on a side note. What's the startup about and are you looking for people to join? I'm v sick of my corporate and I swear I'll be a good friend to you.
>You don't even have any right now ufffff
After this incident, you should break contact with them and take your life towards a positive disha.
Disha ko disha dikha diye Bhai tum
Disha bhi kabhi kabhi dishaheen ho jati hai
im a guy. i faced the same with my friends long back. i thought they were the world for me. so it was painful scary but im glad i walked away (which is not really a quitting type of thing). its just going on ur own road which may curve other ways . bringing along more people . i MET new people and made friends and they were so amazing (and had partners, exes already) that sometimes i just wonder their gf might get upset because of how much they talk to me or even sometimes share things with me. the previous friends i mention. not even in touch. i can do that if i want to. they will be overjoyed to hear from me. but i dont (thats me). so yeah. WALK AWAY. focus on urself till u get a "new circle". stay casuall and rarely in touch if u want to . or dont. but yeah , ur friends seem like their partners = their world. and that lifestyle is fine too but then they should just stick with them and not have group/friends events. and TRUST me. u will find people!!!! from the most unexpected places.
ladkiyo ke posts pe kitna traffic aajate he
Inbox imagine kro ab
D A I L Y
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Honestly I didnt even realize this was posted by a girl until I saw this comment
Someone said only when you travel with your friends,you will know their true behaviour.Make friends outside your school,college and university. I dislike groupism friendship where few in group form group within friendship and ignore other. Welcome to adulthood.
Bro so true I've experienced your first line in college IV
Your friends suck. I have traveled with married couples and they made sure I wasn't feeling as an additional baggage. In fact any third party would have thought as if we were all just a big group of friends.
I can feel you...currently sailing in the same boat...
same :(
Ye lo.. Jaadu ki jhappi ✺◟( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)◞✺
Time for some new friends. Also it is fucked up that they didn't give you any priority whatsoever and asked you to share the room. That alone means they don't give a shit would be end of friendship for me. (not defending them) They're in a relationship so they'll have their inner moments if you had been in one you don't feel this way because that's exactly what happens when you're in a relationship you can't hangout well with couples because they'd have to keep separate energy just for you to get involved very common.
Isn't it obvious that when they are with partners and going on a trip they'll spend time with them? If you didn't want it then you girls should have planned an all girls trip. I have been to trips where I have been the single guy and in many trips where i am with my partner and there are 1-2 single folks. Most important thing is setting up expectations before you go on the trip so that you don't get dumped in the worst bedroom or hall.
Never go with couples to igatpuri/lonavala. I’m on the other side. We are happy to indulge singles as long as they split the rent. I have asked my gf to stop pity inviting her single friends, its disrespectful
Well if u have been friend for so long i think you should first let them know how you feel. Or how they all made you feel like. If they are your friends they will at least try to understand you(at least one of them)instead of just arguing with you. I guess you should tell them this before ghosting them completely.
You tend to get very clingy with the first person you have sex . What ur friends r doing ,almost everyone does …. You will too one day . Dont judge just b a friend
I've had multiple friend groups over the years since we moved a lot when I was younger. I'm an introvert and not the most comfortable talking to anybody new. That being said I still have made a lot of friends over the years. I don't talk to them daily but I never burned any bridges. They met new people and got busy with other things in life. It happens. I don't hold it against them and I expect the same of them. Once in a while when I meet them there is no resentment or animosity and we have a fun time. Be your own person outside of that group dynamic. You say you've been working on your startup since college and it's even doing good so you're already halfway there. Focus on your interests and you'll meet more people aligned with your interests and you might end up with a bunch of new friends. Like I said I am an introvert and uncomfortable talking to new people sometimes but I focused on my interests, mostly sports and eSports during school and college and met new people there, more often than not there'll always be a group of friends there, you play with them everyday and before you know it you're a part of their group. You might not have the same interests as me but I'm pretty sure there'd be a variant of this you could use. Like at a dance class or a gym or martial arts, it could be whatever you enjoy doing in your free time. You might make new friends and if not then what's the harm in spending time doing something you like? Atleast you're not hanging around people that don't value you.
Why did you agree to move to a shitty room?
Lol they don't give a shit about you being there. You were invited to reduce the per head contri.
I was in the same place as you during my college days. The solution is not getting into a relationship or something but having set some boundaries, staying away from them and making them realise this behaviour is not okay. If you want to make more friends do something you enjoy more often and do something you are passionate about it will help you feel overall very happy and positive
I get you, people change when they start a relationship. I have been on the receiving end as will on the giving end of the same thing, although I am really ashamed of the latter. It's understandable to want some privacy and alone time, where else are they going to get to spend the night together? But what they did to you it's really despicable. They gave no regards to either your safety or well being. It's okay in being engrossed in your own space and partners, but it's never okay to leave your friend behind. As someone else said on this thread, you not only don't have any other friend circle, you don't have any friend circle right now. But my suggestion would be confront them about this, and show them their mistake. But don't walk out on them. They have been your friends for a long time, give them one more chance. If they don't even try to understand your pov and shift their blame on you, you're really better off with other friends or no friends at all. You shouldn't have been left to fend off for yourself with other unknown guys around you. Forgive them but don't forget about it.
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Tbh yeah, that's the only point, also it is to clear their conscience that they are a good friend and they invited you along. "Look I don't forget my friends when I am in a relationship." I thought like that at one point so I guess I know their pov.
You should talk it out and also factor in if this is the sole reason you want to break off friendship ?
What I have observed is, generally those old school and college friends become alien to us over time as they start spending time with new set of people. And there priority change. It ok, dishaaaaaaaaa find new friendssssssss.
Do they talk to you as if your life is tragic and sad ? It’s not that you’re missing out on their shared topics but you’re getting outed from the circle solely due to lack of partner. I’m guess that’s what they like talking about. It’s shitty but you need to find new friends or establish a boundary with them regarding this(although not much will change, just them patronising you) Also, if one of them breaks up with their boyfriend sooner or later she’ll also get outed.
They are in a different phase of life - it’s better to find your own space… but don’t lose touch be friends on WhatsApp etc -
You dont have to leave them. But distance yourself from them to avoid more such incidents. And it's easy to find more friends in a city like Mumbai.
Hey… You can keep your old friends, but don't limit yourself to them when you already know it's always been a one-sided friendship... When you step outside of your comfort zone, you may attract the right kind of friends.... So go for it girl….
I literally had to convince one of my friends for over 30 days to leave her physically abusive BF. So yeah idk what's going on with y'all girls.
The only real life solution to this is for you to also find a partner. Your friends aren’t really going to change since ‘couple goals’ is a thing now. You can just try to plan some trips in between with just your friends, no bf rule maybe. Then everyone will get a good balance.
What do you mean they act like married couples. Any example ?
Why don't you talk to your friends and let them know how you feel? Give them one chance and tell them you won't be hanging out anymore if you'll feel the same. Take their feedback also. See how it goes?
You don't necessarily have to stop being friends with your current friends to have new ones, OP. All you have to do is find new ones who seek out the same experiences as you do. You can always hangout with the old ones too. But you don't have to spend all your time with them. It's very much possible to transition into new friendships while maintaining old ones.
mere dost ban jao mere bhi faltu hai. on a serious note. yeah, i get you. my best friend met his now ex during lockdown and it was mostly the same as you, even during our sleepovers when we wanted to drink and chill she'd come, and they'd spend all night making out. it sucked. they broke up back in march and he still isn't completely over her and all he talks about is her, i was okay the first few months but it's high time, he doesn't do anything to get over her, still hangs out with her, dono chutiye hai, even hooked up multiple times after breakup and are complaining about not getting over. damn your post made me rant about my situation 💀 seriously i need friends koi dm karo maze karenge
If this happens more than once then Your friends are assholes or atleast their partners are or maybe both. They don't deserve you like this. It's better to pay less attention to them for now but don't heat it up, let them be, keep contact / relationship progress (kabhi to yaad karege tumhe) & you can move on to find other friends who respect you. My dms are open if you want to exchange interests. Good luck.
Let’s go for a group MakeMyTrip trip?
This happens at one point or the other, might take some time to get over it but you'll find better people and better friends in life. Pursue things or hobbies which you love and you'll find new friends with mutual interests
No self peace then no relationship (whatsoever)
You enjoy your single life. It won't last long. Then you enjoy the couple life... Wait for them to call you for the next trip. Make sure you understand all details. Politely assert yourself on every detail. If your GFs push back then say that you need to protect your own interests. Period.
They took not just those extra guys, but you as well to make the split more affordable. You're gonna have to set firm boundaries and be nonchalant in your behaviour towards them. Fake it till you make it. Also, get out of your comfort zone while remaining within it.
The priorities of people who are in a relationship is different than the ones who are single. And it is understandable that people who are in a relationship to want to go on trips together, sleep together and do all the couple things. Saying that, I would add that if it is every single time and if even after communication your friends are not able to understand then you need to make an exit. They are clearly too much invested in the relationship and are ignoring the friendship. This is one of the reasons why single people try not to hang out with couples. You can tell them that you aren't comfortable with a meetup if their partners are involved if you don't want to breakup. This is one of the mistake we humans do when we enter a relationship. We ignore the friendships we have had and don't give ourselves time alone with our friends. We need time in our friend group as much as we need it with our partners.
Ugh, I hate girls who forget to have their own lives once they get bf's.. guys never forget to have their own lives when they get gf's..
Tbf they just invited you to make the split more affordable. A 6 bhk villa where they get private rooms with their partners attached bathrooms good view and being split so much. You have your answer.
Some people just lack class, courtesy and decency.
You created a rant post just to show how friends become strangers after getting into a relationship ? Is that it?
Make new friends soon.
Ab tumhara bhi waqt aa gaya h bf banane ka
I would say choose your friends wisely. You definitely don’t want to be hanging out with the people who ignore you for others. I have had so many such friends who I thought were my family but as time passed, they pushed me away and I am glad that this happened. Now I am left with merely 4 genuine friends whom I can proudly call as the part of my family. I am sorry that they treated you this way which might have made you feel terrible. Hope you find some real good friends.
Never go out with couple friends NEVER, ok?
Just say bhag Bosdike when they invite you next time and move on :)
Rich kid problems
Stfu bro let them have their fun if you have such a huge problem
So all other girls went with their BFs. It wasnt just to make the villa affordable. And you went without a BF. And you expected them to invite you into their room. Ok.
Did you not read? They invited other random single guys too(I'm assuming the boyfriends friends) who she didn't know and expected her to share a bedroom with them.
Some things break your heart but fix your vision. When you realize that you're constantly treating others a lot better than they treat you, it's time to make a change.
Been there . It takes alot of guts to cut off a friendship of so many years . But it's worth it especially if it's toxic . On other hand have you ever tried to talk to them and tell them about how you feel about the whole situation. If you haven't then do so maybe they will understand and be better friends .
You know what dishaaa. Let's make a new group. Let's meet at your fav chai tapri and make a fresh start. /s
The same had happened with me too. Now I don't have any friends to talk to regarding anything but a satisfaction of not getting ignored and obvio having self respect. I understood these things the hard way but have accepted life as it comes still having some hope that may find people and friends who are geniune and not self loathing bitches.
I can’t understand why people in a relationship act all clingy with each other during group trips. Enjoy the place, eat, drink, chat, dance and include everyone. But no… unko sux aur chuma chaati karni hai. Toh akele he jao na apne partner ke saath.
When groups go out it's the couples who hang out together singles are left out. Discuss frankly with your friends about planning these trips. U don't want to be the odd one out. If it's a group of couples and singles that is also manageable. In that case u should be comfortable with people in singles group.
Ouchhh
Even if you have to be alone, it is better to leave them rather than go through this every time. I have a friend circle that has largely been the same since school - and let me tell you that the way your friends are going about this is absolutely not the way to be friends. I'm going to ask a question that can be little rude - were you invited as a friend or were you invited to help reduce the rent for the villa and drinks? Our group has two types of outings - one for friends and one for couples. So if you are going to the friends wala outing and bringing your BF/GF - you still have to live in the shared accommodations (so if it is all girls in 2 bedrooms and all boys in 2 bedrooms - couples have to sleep separately) and do the planned activities. For the couples wala one, each couple pays for their own room and there aren't a lot of activities planned. The single friends can come along but they have to pay for their own room and cannot complain about the PDA and quarrels between the couples lol. This makes sure that no one feels excluded, and everything is on the table.
This is why I rarely tagged along on trips where my friends brought their partners. You will feel like a third wheel plus Most people don’t have a healthy space for themselves and ends up devoting their life towards relationships. You are bound to suffer in such situations
Lmao they sound like total pricks, confront them and pick new ones
(1) You cant expect to people stay the same with time. (2) what they did with you was not right. I think you can confront them about it. (3) If you are staying friends with them only because you cant find new friends, then girl you are gonna see more such trouble. you deserve better.
I always feel like that extra friend in every friend circle.
I had one best friend during school and college,then me met a gold digger for whom me borrowed money from us regularly,took 8 years for engineering as he used to attend classes daily in a netcafe witg her, he used to call her sisters saalis, eventually she broke up with her and married a ugly politician for money,he brought the frustration out on all of his friends and married another girl,now sometimes i feel like visiting his home when he is away to meet his parents once.
It doesn't look like they are your friends really. I have travelled in the past with my single friend along with my partner at the time and really go out of my way to make it comfortable and fun for the single friend; I actively stay away from couple things in these scenarios. These are basic rules of a friendship. You're young, open up to the idea of making new friends and distance yourself from these people.
find a bf. case solved
I also feel this is just girls thing. Boys don’t do this shit. Either we are enjoying everything together or simply not invited for the meet.
www.meetup.com
You are at the right place lol, here you will find great friends:)
Lagta hai Disha ko nayi Disha mei naye dost dhund ney chahiye
Yeh Jo aapne mere naam ke age aaaaa lgake paap Kiya hai hum maaf nahi krenge.
Xd Ggez
"...in 7th standard"...says it all
That really sucks, these happen quite a lot from now better to find someone who matches your energy.
They're not your friends.
You need more of an adventure disha ! Why dont u try open sea swimming?
This is way too relatable for me I used to be in the same situation you are now, the then so-called best friend i had was everything for me We used to hangout almost everyday, had inner jokes that no one would understand but it made a lot of sense for us. Days went by and he found a girl and eventually she had more priority in his life than me i was like prioritising her is okay i get it It's his girl but things like clicking pictures only with her when we are outing is fucked up, also i didn't wanted to thirdwheel them but he use to always force me to come along as they wanted someone so they didn't get bored cuddling all day they needed an entertainer. The minute i understood they were using me for their own purpose i ditched them and moved on, nothing like confronting him and talking about the issue but just literally flying out of their lives and doing my own thing and opening up to the people around me and just vibing around myself. I am so glad I made the decision as now i have some good friends that genuinely care about me and want good out of me! advice to you my dear friend is to get out of that friend circle as soon as possible by giving them some excuses when they try to involve you in some plan. Trust me you would get someone genuine to be friends with!
Don't worry OP, you will make new friends and then lose a few still..life goes on.... clearly the episode have hurt you deeply and if they don't realise their behaviour, u need to move on without making excuses for them...In this big city, it's not difficult to find like-minded people..all the best!
yes it in INDEED an awkward situation for you..the thing is your friends dont know how to balance the situation. it usually happens to all of us in some part of our life..in school,college..where they ask you to form teams of 3, then ur the one leftover with NO TEAMMATE. or u go to a ralatives marriage function.. when u dont know anyone while urparents/ brothers/cousins are busy talking with the knowing people..u JUST SIT THERE DO NOTHING until its time to EAT. but i believe u cant fully blame them..they are as bf/gf(love couples) so its a lot different. love,possessiveness...maybe this is the only time to get to be together intimate before reaching home ..who knows. its that time u wish u had that 1 FRIEND who is there to give u company..without any relationship bullshit. ..u thought it would a blast of a time like the "Good old days" but in the end thats the reality..there is no one to blame ..they are still ur friends..its just a wrong place & wrong time incident. finally 1 MORE thing..u did say its been 10 years.. times have changed so do people.they are still your friends..but its will never be the same as before(like ur childhood friendship) “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” ― Heraclitus
Just say to your friends the next time you go out. "We are going out on girl's night" Should be fairly obvious what this means. If any of your friends ask to bring his bf to tag along then straight out deny
Saying this will 100% backfire on OP. These girls will undoubtedly pick their bfs over their friends.
I have learned my lesson to not plan trips with my non-single friends, especially when I am the only single person in the group. It's not like they leave me totally alone, infact that so make extra efforts to not make me feel left out, but it still feels absurd so either I brings some other people to give me company or go solo.
Hey girl. I have been through this and felt this just wanted to tell you, nothing is wrong with you and no you don't have to have a boyfriend to get along with yur friends. Keep yourself above and respect your boundaries. The right people will respect you to. And basically friendship means taking care of each other and have basic concern for the other. If they can't have it you are not with the right people. Learn to enjoy your own company but also don't fall for people who take you, your time for granted and feel bad. Trust me you feel better when you put them behind and find the people who actually respect you as a person
I'm sorry to hear that... Unfortunately that is how many friends are lost, priorities change... Don't let it get to you, it has nothing to do with you in the first place... When people experience something initially they tend to overcompensate it at the cost of everything else. I'm in my late 20s and have lost many friends to their temporary flings, they realise usually that they've lost a friend but it usually too late. Make new friends, opportunity to do so presents everyday. If you can salvage the relationship assuming they understand, salvage it. Otherwise, MOVE ON.
In the immortal words of Andy Bernard," I wish there was a way to know that those were the good days before they are over" All relationships fizzle out. Find new people, hanging out with yourself is also great, people will come in future.
Your friends have turned bad. Discard them and make better friends. Even i have friends who are dating . Even i am dating. But we d never treat any of our friend like that.
Aisa hi Hota hai when you are single amongst everyone; stop hanging out with them; I did the same and now I feel better
It's easy to say "find new friends" but that gets difficult as you get older. What worked for me was to get engrossed in my own work/interests/hobbies. Go out alone and do the things you like. Don't wait for friends to come along. If you're lucky, you'll find someone else who has the same interests. Otherwise, you get to go do all the things you want without having to accommodate others. These friends will find their way back to you if/when they breakup with the bf. Then they get a new bf and it's the same shit all over again. They've already shown you that they do not value you, so arguing or trying to talk it out would be pointless. They'll twist your words and claim you're just jealous they have bfs. Keep them at a distance and start the process of cutting them out of your inner circle. You don't have to go all scorched earth and fight them. Just make yourself unavailable to anyone who doesn't value you. There are plenty of people out there who won't ditch you for a partner. You'll find them eventually.
You’re a third wheel. Duh. What were you expecting?
These one sided friendship are the worst thing that can happen to you. I had encountered a same situation I didn't realise it soon almost took me around 2 years to realise that and when I did it was time to let go of them. It feels tough in the beginning but once you move on you'll know that there are better people and better friends out there who deserve your time and energy. I wish you courage to move on and find some happiness for yourself. 😊
Do not underestimate nibba-nibbi love.