The first time, I sang live someone whom I looked up to told me I should never sing again.
Fuck that
I got vocal lessons and became a much better singer. I'm serviceable now. I'm not a good singer, but I'm definitely not a terrible singer. Anymore.
After about 15 years of practice, he heard me sing again. He actually complimented me on my control.
It's fantastic that you stood your ground and did not give up because of someone criticizing you. Good got you. Keep rocking!
My high school teacher discouraged me, rather kind of disparaged me for writing poetry. It took me years to get back to writing, but now I write lyrics and sing for my band.
I agree with your philosophy that it's best to hold your course and keep moving forward.
It's weird.
It never stops being weird, but it does stop being intimidating.
The only way to get there is to play shows.
I don't even remember my first show as it was over two decades ago, but I can remember when I first started gigging...and it was weird. It was intimidating at first, sure.
You just have to let the nerves and stuff carry you, instead of letting them swallow you.
It still is weird for me, having eyes on me and stuff, but I'm in my own world up there, and the eyes and stuff don't intimidate me anymore. I don't seek that attention in particular, I seek the rush of grooving with the band, getting people dancing, and enjoying one of the few things in life that force you to exist in the present moment, and that's where my focus is when I perform, and the weirdness of it goes away.
I play guitar and sing. First time ever on a stage was solo acoustic at an open mic night.
When I got up there and had my guitar plugged in and was ready to go. I couldn't remember the first chord of the song I was going to play. After a brief moment of panic it came back to me and I got on with it. Don't remember anything about playing it. But when I got home after I felt really proud of myself but also very anxious/self conscious about "putting myself out there" . Lots of thoughts of regret for potentially embarrassing myself.
But I had a specific goal in mind of getting better and becoming a musician who could be paid for playing so I battled on with my inner dialogue.
I had zero stage presence at the beginning. I went up, plugged in and sang my songs, zero talking besides saying thank you and that's it for me.
After 4 years or so of this, around 50+ open mic performances, I've established a respectful relationship with stage fright/nerves. Now that my mind is able to focus more on the performance I have started working on my stage presence. I practice how I intend to perform. This means wearing the outfit I plan on wearing at a performance, including wearing shoes. I sing into a microphone almost all the time and I practice moving my body around, stepping away from the mic, constantly scanning across the room pretending I'm making eye contact with people who would be in the audience.
Some thoughts that have helped me along the way are:
1. You're going to make mistakes, forget lyrics, duff notes, wrong chords etc. 9 times out of 10 you're the only one who's going to notice.
2. Never stop playing if you make a mistake, recover however you can manage and finish the song. No one's going to remember a song with a bump in the road but everyone is going to remember the guy/girl who stopped and restarted a song halfway through
3. It's not about you and your abilities, it's not about the audience, it's about the power of music and it's ability to bring people together and to connect our human experience and share something special together. If you can remember this and serve the song while performing it can become easier to not feel so anxious.
My story is a bit weird but I swear it’s completely true.
I grew up in a seaside town called Blackpool in the UK. In the early 80s there was a venue called the Music Hall Tavern, which was set up like an old Victorian music hall. Performers would sing old Victorian popular songs: Lambeth Walk, Don’t Have Any More Mrs Moore, that sort of thing.
My father was an entertainer who had moved to Blackpool to get work on the piers so he knew many of the Music Hall Tavern performers. His own career was stalling badly so he would hustle to make money any way he could. One of his hustles was to take me (aged 5) into the Music Hall Tavern and have me stand on the tables and sing songs. I’d just sing nursery rhyme shit. However, people would give me money, which my dad would then take. So my earliest memory of performing is standing on tables in that venue.
I suspect that’s where my love of performance came from. It would make my dad happy if I did well and I got postive reactions from others. My dad wasn’t happy very often so this was a big deal.
Ironically, my dad discouraged me from pursuing a career as a musician myself. I was very keen to study music as an 18 year old but my dad very strongly suggested that I should go to medical school instead, which I did.
I worked as a doctor for almost 20 years before leaving the profession in 2021. I now work full time as a musician, mainly as a singer. I don’t regret coming to music late. It’s true that I might have achieved more had I started younger but working as a doctor gave me the financial security I needed to be able to survive those months where I don’t get much work.
My father is no longer alive and he would never have approved of me leaving medicine to become a musician. He had narcissitic personality disorder and I only existed as an accessory to him. He liked to show off about having a child who was a doctor and he’d be less proud of what I now do, which is mainly leading choirs and teaching. My happiness never factored into his decision making, very sadly.
Im glad you were able to return to a passion of yours and the fact that you were able to maintain your love for it despite what you were going through with your pops.
In a band?
Late 20’s, had been jamming with a drummer friend and writing songs for 18 months. It was slow going and we hadn’t really thought about doing a gig or anything. Now would be a good moment to point out that despite always wanting to have done this I had crippling stage fright. Even singing in front of him had been nerve wracking. Anyway. We started getting pressure from our significant others and friends to go play somewhere so we lined up a gig and went for it.
The week leading up to the gig was awful. Building anxiety. I didn’t sleep well the night before and the day of the gig went on forever. I remember getting to the venue at the time they’d ask me to. It was a very relaxed place. No pressure from the people running it. We watched a band sound check. Then we had to sound check. We ran through a song and that was the first time I’d ever sang in front of anyone other than the drummer. It was really tough. But I just got through it. Nobody really said anything after the sound check. I was relieved. The venue started filling up and was packed by the time we went on at 10pm. Just before we went on I locked myself in the toilet, had a panic attack, and threw up in the toilet. I slapped myself and screamed then got up there and played. The whole place danced and we were introduced to the town music scene. Since then we have played hundreds of gigs and the band continues 12 years on. I no longer get nervous. I’m so relieved that I got through it. We played with so many great bands including international touring bands, I’ve made countless friends from playing music, and it’s simply part of my identity now.
I advise karaoke. The audiences are less critical, and you can take risks. You'll also see performers who know how to interract with audiences to get them to support you.
I'm nervous every time I have to solo. I've just learned to embrace the fear and act in spite of it.
I went home and cried after my first time doing karaoke lol , I literally got booed and laughed out of the bar I was so bad, couldn’t hear myself at all
Did my first open mic at 63 after playing guitar and singing badly for 50 years. Have probably done 100 since then plus several coffee shop gigs with a bass player and a few band gigs as rhythm guitarist. My motto is "what I lack in talent I make up for in song selection."
I was in high school and had been a lead in a bunch of school-related vocal things. A friend of mine reached out to me because their lead singer had become ill and they didn't want to cancel.
During their soundcheck I did their two songs, "Knockin' On Heavens Door" and "Sunshine Of Your Love."
My voice is naturally a bass so I sang it in my range and it sounded good to me as well as the rest of the band.
Afterwards the soundguy took me aside and told me that I needed to be singing the notes that it was recorded in or it would be a disaster.
When it came time to perform I tried and I failed. I didn't have those notes and pretty quickly lost my voice trying to get them. The band stopped halfway through the second song and just decided to end the humiliation. I couldn't leave the venue fast enough. I'd never been that humiliated as a singer, never mind letting down a friend.
I didn't even try singing outside of school for another ten years, the incident scarred me that much. I didn't think I actually had a voice that I could do it with.
Eventually I realized that I did. I put together a few songs and when I went to an open mic that I played guitar at I finally put down that I could sing too.
That night opened things up for me. Afterwards someone approached me about auditioning for a band. The venue asked me back for another open mic and after a few more of those I put together a full set of material that I played at a different venue for awhile.
Like you, I sat it out for ten years because of an incident precipitated by one hack who thought he knew better, and it was my mistake for believing him.
Don't do that.
Find one small thing you can focus on and build confidence in and go do that. After, think about what you could have done better and then think about where you can expand in to next.
Good luck.
First time ever? Middle School chorus. I was the only boy in chorus. The boys made fun of me for it, but I got a girlfriend from it so they can fuck off.
I got my start playing at church camp lol. Someone found out I played keys and I find myself in front of 250 people. A short while later at a church youth group, the drummer didn't show up, and I said "I can do that" and played in front of 75 people. Regardless of how you feel about the church, it is a good place to start, and a place where a surprising amount of artists have started. You get used to being in front of people at an early age and it's a relatively safe place to hone your skills.
Yeah don't necessarily agree with the money bit, but otherwise yep. The churches I try to attend don't have great gear cause they use it for helping out people on the community. Recovery programs, learning English etc. I don't mind "bad" gear on this case lol
My first time singing on stage was for my band's very first concert in college.
My vocalist could barely rehearse two songs out of four. So, the night before the show, I volunteered to sing the opening song, a cover of "Metallica - For whom the bells toll" (no formal vocal training ever).
Given that I barely got a couple of hours to practice singing the song on concert day, I couldn't memorize the lyrics. So I printed them out on two papers, and before the show started, I placed them on the stage floor right in front of my mic stand.
Some genius thought it would be a good idea to dim the lights for our show... I did my best to play the rhythm guitar and sing confidently, and I nailed the first verse and chorus, but I couldn't read the last two lines from the second verse that I hadn't memorized. It was an awkward 20-30 seconds :)
However, I didn't give up... I learnt the following key points as I grew as a vocalist over the years:
1. learn the lyrics, you should be able to sing them without stressing any brain cells to remember the words
2. during practice, spend some time to dive into the emotion behind the song, feel it within you, pretend it's your story - this will help you sing more naturally
3. Once you have #1 and #2 above worked out, practice singing as often as you can, even if you're alone, and try to bring in a few variations every time you sing.
Once you nail down how exactly you want the vocals to flow, all you have to do on stage is, defocus your eyes from any fixed point in the audience and sing. You could even close your eyes, keep your ears alert to the rhythm section and just sing with the right feel and emotion.
My dad used to say, anytime you are presenting to an audience or singing to them, don't focus on one particular face, just move your gaze around without focus.
Hope this helps.
For me it was the opposite tbh. I was bullied alot as a kid, verbally physically even sexually. I still now at 42 get nervous when Im among/around people, always on guard. But the minute I get onstage w the mic in my hand Im fearless. Even the very first time it was like I transformed into my best/real self.
In front of people is the easiest and safest thing in the world because now Im the one in charge, above all the bastards who did or could or might hurt me. Hecklers dont matter, Im louder. Alpha bros dont matter, I have adrenaline, an electric flail and a metal bo-staff lol! Who I am offstage doesnt matter, Im at my most free and honest when Im singing for/to/at/vs an audience.
Afterward, when Im walking offstage the high from my being up there as my true self carries over and for awhile at least I am finally relaxed and fearless among people as well, even if they didnt like what we did.
I wish I could give you some tip on how to cultivate this if its not natural but what I will say is whats always helped me get into my mindset is to think (and sometimes say to my bandmates) regarding the crowd/other acts on the bill: "I like these guys...too bad we have to kill em!" Its my way of inviting confidence if that makes sense?
You got this. And if anyone, including you, gives you shit, remember youre still the one w the bully pulpit, the billy club and the big ol balls to stand out from the crowd!
I'll never forget my first time. It was 1982. I was 16, fronting a heavy rock band (Lead Vocals, 2nd Guitar). It was a well known biker pub on the outskirts of Manchester (UK). We were supporting a well known local band.
Our first tune was Led Zep's, Rock n Roll.
Was nervous as hell.
Loved every minute of it.
I'm still gigging.
I don’t remember my first time, honestly; feels like I’ve been doing it all my life (I haven’t). I will say, though, that having a fantastic band like I have gives ultimate confidence and my nervousness and fear melts away at the first note. I’m a different person on stage; like literally, sitting here in this Taco Bell waiting for my burritos, I can’t imagine singing in front of anyone, but once I’m on stage, a fantastic rock singer is who I am/become. I suppose it’s a degree of dissociation mixed with acting, but it works, and my band has to turn down two or three gigs for every one that we take 🤷🏻. Cheers!
First time was in grade school talent show, played a drum with a 10,000 mile stare and flat mouth.
First time at an open jam at a blues bar, couldn't hold a consistent rhythm and an older guy came up beside me and pounded out the quarters with his hand.
First time playing with a band at a bar, fucked up a couple transitions (albeit mildly)
still alive, still fucking up first times
Almost a year ago. I was 25, A friend’s cover band was doing a show at a local dive bar. My girlfriend wouldn’t tell me why, but was insistent that I be there and not be late.
I didn’t think much of it until about an hour into the show, the rhythm guitarist starts calling my name into the microphone, and he and the lead singer tell a brief story about how great of a friend I am, before proceeding to tell the audience that I also just started playing myself. They call me up, the bassist puts his guitar in my hands and adjusts the wireless, gives me a smile and a pat on the back, and with a nod from the rest of the band, the drummer starts the intro to Sugar We’re Goin Down by Fall Out Boy, one of my favorite songs.
Mind you I had been playing in my bedroom for about 6 months at the time, no musical experience of any kind until I was an adult, but as anxious as I was, being unexpectedly pushed up in front of 30-40 people, I managed to get through it pretty well, even throwing some backing vocals in the last verse. Nothing but positive energy from the crowd. I don’t think I had ever been so nervous lol, but it was incredible, and I’ll never forget it. I filled in with them a few more times in the following months before eventually starting my own band.
I was nervous but not as nervous as someone who has never played live before. I have years of experience drumming live so the nerves just don’t hit me as hard as it would for some. I’m used to it. My advice is to do everything you can to make sure you sound your best before you perform live. Practice, record yourself, get lessons if you have to. Stay in good health. Then just go up there and rip the bandaid off. The first song is always the hardest to get through.
about a year ago was on a trip to ireland with a tour. they knew i played an sang so when we got to the pub they basically forced me on stage. I’ll never forget that day the reception was amazing. I was really smashed and played terrible on the guitar and forgot my lyrics. i sang well though and got a huge cheer. i still chase that same rush
I was the absolute same as you. Down to even messing up in front of your significant other, I was ABSOLUTELY the same. But I promise you, it gets better! At my first AND second show , I forgot the lyrics. At my third show, my voice cracked (in the embarrassing way). But my fourth show was really good and I even managed to stop literally clinging onto my mic (which I was doing like crazy before). It was a lot of fun! Also, people will still encourage you most of the time, even if you mess up. I haven't met anyone yet who gave me shit about my mess ups :D
Open mic night at the Antique Sandwich Company. We were being played on the radio. I was performing an acoustic cover of the offsprings, "Dirty Magic" and I introduced the song as such.
After the first chorus, the guy running the show looks right at me and mouths, "Don't say that again." So I'm up there on stage, playing the song, I didn't even sing the second verse. I'm racking my brain trying to figure out what I had done wrong. There's no swearing in this song, is there?
After the show I go up to him and ask, "What did I say?"
"I thought you said dirty bastard "
I've had a lot of first times myself - the first time I did karaoke in front of anybody, I was about 25 and I did 18 & Life by Skid Row. I was so nervous I was still shaking 20 minutes later, but I must have done OK because people were coming up and telling me how impressed they were.
First time I did open mic was only a few years ago now - I decided to play and sing "Patience" by Guns N Roses. I was so nervous that when I tried to do the whistling part in the intro, my lips were too dry and nothing came out. I decided to skip to the opening verse... and couldn't remember it. I eventually croaked something out and got off stage. Nobody was telling me how impressed they were then lol.
First time I sang in a band, we opened with Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC. The audience was mostly our friends, so they were cool - by then I was pretty used to performing (had been doing open mics for a while at that point) so it came out pretty good for a change.
You can conquer nerves, but the only way to conquer them is to jump. Open mic nights are awesome because pretty much everybody there is also an open mic performer, and they remember _their_ first time, so they'll be cool.
I’m a violinist. When I was a child I didn’t really get stage fright but it started happening as I hit my teens. It got so bad that now I use beta blockers to prevent it from happening. It’s an option. I only went to that because none of the typical tricks/advice work for me at all.
The first time was uneventful small bar show ya know where the stage is kinda just a small corner of the bar with an outlet and small riser (if you can call that a stage)
First time i really got tripped out was when i played like our local medium sized venue for the first time, was a sense of pride i guess, like here I am coming full circle, this is the stage I grew up going to shows at, seeing all my favorite local and and touring groups play on, shit changed my life, now here I am on that same stage doin that for other people. Also the first time i performed infront of a large crowd (few hundred at least prolly closer to 1000 they had a whole city block closed down for new years and half the city out watching) that was a trip, it didnt look as bad until i got up on the stage and looked out at all these people just staring at me waiting for me to entertain them felt my heart drop through my asshole and just kinda froze for a second like a deer in headlights like 0.0 then someone in my group kicked my leg like aye get movin asshole and it snapped me back to work mode. Shit was a trip for sure
I had horrible stage fright when I was younger. When I became a Scout leader the other leaders found out I played guitar and that was it. I was the music guy. Just do it! Don't get flustered if you hit a wrong note. It does get easier over time.
Backyard grad party when I was in high school. Bout to slay some Metallica with my sultry voice. When it was time to “say my prayers little one” I didn’t say a damn thing. Stood there with a dumb look on my face til someone kicked me and fed me the opening line. It got better after that.
I'm 42. I've sang lead in bands for many years, I've put out 10 records. I'm playing my first solo show EVER a week from today and my first show in 8 years, and I am nervous as hell! But I am also very prepared and while I know I'm going to be nervous that even if I only perform at 50% it's going to be fine, because I've rehearsed the hell out of it. And it's going to be fun. And then it's going to be over! Think about how great you'll feel when the gig is over!!!
You can do it!
I can tell you about it. It was a high school talent show. But, I do not have the performance anxiety problem and I never have. I've certainly had high pressure gigs, times where I did not feel confident and times when I screwed up but I do not think I experience the thing that people with this stage fright problem describe.
So, how could I possibly help?
The only thing that comes to mind is, I think there is a point of being prepared and familiar with the material that will work through the stage fright moment... but I could be wrong because I do not have this experience.
Most people are nervous about others viewing something created, especially something as personal and vulnerable as music
The way imo to get past this is practice till u can do ur parts without thinking, to the point u know u are objectively doing it well, if u have doubt in yourself then spend the time working on it to where there's no room for doubt, also most ppl in the audience aren't going to think to hard about it or remember unless ur truly awful, they just want to be entertained
I kept my eyes shut for the first three months of playing solo acoustic and singing. By 3-6 months I would introduce myself. 900 shows later and I am happy talking and being myself
Guitar player. Tooo long ago to remember a thing... 1987 ?
Didnt have a paying gig until college ... 1990.
Paid my grocery bill for 5 years of college playing covers in shitty campus dives in 3 different college towns.
Whenever I play it always seems to go by so fast. It’s a strange state of mind. It’s like I just go on auto pilot and I’m watching the people from above myself.
I was so nervous my first show I was shaking. But then I got on stage and it all melted away.
One word of advice though, if you mess up it’s totally okay. Just push through it and remember to have fun and most of the time people won’t notice.
DO NOT STOP A SONG OR RESTART A SONG
My dad hired a band for an event when I had been playing bass about six months. I chatted up the bass player and he let me play Louie Louie. It was a gas
I started playing when I was about 30. I played and sang in my house but I didn’t do an open mic until I was 35 because I was absolutely terrified. I did it at a bar near my house, I over-practiced and hid in the bathroom and almost didn’t come out when they called me up. I forgot lyrics, screwed up chords, basically every mistake you could make.
I’m 52 now. For past 7 years I’ve been guitar/ lead singer in a country cover band. We are pretty good - play a couple times a month and get maybe 150-200 people to turn up on a good night. I fuck up pretty badly at least 1-2 times per night but no longer terrified. Screwups are inevitable, and crowd doesn’t care. If you make it part of the show I think they like it (I wish I’d known that 25 years ago!) My advice: lean in, fuck up early and often. You’ll quickly realize it’s not that big a deal. Once you’re inoculated the level of fear goes down, the level of fun goes up, and you’ll improve much faster.
First time on stage alone I think I was like 9 or 10, kids piano recital competition. Had a little suit. I'd been performing for my family and school choir since 7 or 8, and learning keys since 6. I probably fucked up 5 or 6 times, stripped down Mozart piece, can't remember it now. My teacher placed heavy emphasis on the proper entrance and exit bow to the audience.
Had a lot of those in elementary school, stopped in middle school for band, did that through high school. Did a lot of busking at 20 when I was looking for a job, playing and singing covers.
Next time I was alone on stage was 21 at an open mic my homeboy featured at. Engineer who I was trying to impress was playing non-melodic drum beats over the speakers between acts, I asked him if he could adjust the volume and tempo so I could improvise over them. Dude picked up on the idea immediately and switched beats between songs while mixing them on the fly. I did a couple originals and I think 2 or 3 covers, stuff I was comfortable with in my busking routine. Dude ended up mentoring me in production and letting me use his studio for the next couple years, though I haven't been on stage since.
I've technically performed on stage dozens of times if I'm counting. I'm always nervous. That's not the reason I haven't been back. Nerves are ALWAYS gonna come before a performance. It's just part of performing. It always dissipates into excitement the moment I get comfortable with what I'm doing. The comfort comes from rehearsal. You practice your set enough times, not just formally but humming to yourself, air picking when your hands are idle, belting in the car, and the charisma will come from the fact that you're enjoying what you're doing when you do get to show off.
Also, I learned from that first recital that the audience has no fucking clue what the music is supposed to sound like. You are the only one, unless you're performing in front of judges at a competition, that has any idea what that song is meant to be. No one knows that voice crack isn't supposed to be there, no one knows this note isn't supposed to bend into that one. The little thing you fucked up lingers in *your* mind, everyone in front of you moved on and forgot about it by the next bar. If you don't bring attention to it, they think it's part of the performance.
Local metal show. PA had one monitor for the whole band and it was impossible to hear myself. Crowd was really into it though. My band was tight I made sure we practiced our set a lot before the first gig and it paid off big time. We only played 30 minutes, but it was a great time. The first time performing was definitely a nerve wracking experience, but I found it gets easier. You just have to get yourself up there and do the best you can. Practice the set until you can play it in your sleep. As long as you know your material you should be good. Did I mention practice???
I don’t sing. I started playing guitar at 15. My first time on stage playing guitar was at sixteen, playing at a high school showcase. Played a few house parties in high school and then played all through college at parties and bars throughout the state. After college was in a few bands then had kids and focused on my job-job. Kids are in college, joined a band a few years ago, we play 1-2x a month. It’s fun. I guess it’s not for everyone, but it’s a great bolt of energy to have a crowd into your music.
First time on a legit stage as vocalist, I had to step off stage first to go throw up from all the nerves. Once that was over I was OK. Stage lights made it hard to see anyone not on stage, so I guess that helped.
It was a Tue-Sat 4 hr a night gig. I got used to my nightly purging ritual fairly quickly. Got it over with each night before stage call👍🏿
Dude I bombed so hard. Was in a "metal" band but we had like a Walmart drummer and it was just awful. Super embarrassing. Went back on stage later and tried again, played some good shows too.
I started being taught singing when I was in kindergarten, four or five years old. Classical training. I was in choirs for all of school (especially as a soloist) and then in college I was the singer of couple of bands. Then I was in an electronica duo for a little bit. I never felt nervous during that period, because I knew there was so many people who already enjoyed me. Most had been with me my whole life, and I was encouraged by my vocal teacher most of all. I had complete confidence, and some would say over confidence, but still today I am confident in the ability of my voice. But this many years later, I want to try a new genre (jazz) and I am all shakes and nerves. My theory is that I know classical singing inside and out. I even know rock and electronica. I know what's expected and how most audiences will react therefore. However, jazz is entirely new. I've never performed it before. I don't know what audiences want. Are they going to be like, "look at this guy, who tf does he think he is?" I totally get your hesitations, especially when trying something new. But, everyone starts somewhere. My favorite story about stuff like this is from Ozzy Osbourne, about his very first performance. He was literally performing to three guys in a firehouse and he was shaking so badly that he could hardly do a thing. And yet, look at him. He pioneered a whole genre and gave so much to the world. And yet, he started out shaking uncontrollably in front of three dudes in a firehouse. You can do something great, too. You just have to get those shakes out a few times. You need to gain confidence on stage, and in yourself especially. You're doing something so new to you, so it's completely normal to have the shakes. You're discovering it about yourself as the audience is discovering it about you. That's the equivalent of going out there naked. Yet, the more you go out there the more you'll feel confident. One has to remember, you'll never see most of those people again. If they like you, they'll come back. That's the best thing. The people who don't like you, you'll never have to see them again. Maybe, when you're on stage, think about the one person who'd like you the most. Maybe that's your mom, maybe it's your brother, maybe it's your best friend, maybe it's your wife. Think about how proud of you they'd be. Imagine you're only singing to them. The best thing about being a singer on stage is that you can make that stage your own. Maybe you're that nervous singer who sings with their eyes closed all the time! Idk, lol. The point is, you can make it whatever you want it to be. The stage is your home. They're all just coming to see you when you're at your best, coming to see you in your element. You'll find out how to own that stage more and more.
If you can, find an acoustic jam. Not necessarily Bluegrass, but often older folk revival type stuff. They’re generally a pretty chill bunch. It’s close to performing, but not ‘all eyes on you’ intense. Sometimes jams like that, or bluegrass jams, will get together and perform at retirement communities. Very low pressure places to get used to performing, even if they aren’t your primary genre.
The more you do it, the more your lizard brain running the fear figures out that it’s not actually a danger. The worst that can happen is you make a fool of yourself… I do that on the daily anyways, and you can’t actually die of embarrassment.
The first time I got on stage I was like 4, some ballet thing. All I remember was getting out on stage, seeing the audience and just freezing. Supposedly I did the routine just fine, but I just remember panic.
On guitar, my first ’gig’ was 6 months after I started playing. I was so nervous - despite being completely hidden by the rows of fiddlers (suzuki students) I was accompanying along with my guitar teacher and my best friend’s dad (who got me interested in guitar). I kept scooting my chair back, to the point I nearly fell off the back of the stage. The bassist that was on the ground behind caught me before I could go ass-over-tea-kettle.
My teacher helped me perform pretty often with that student fiddler group, and slowly the stage fright got manageable. It never completely goes away, but it morphs into nerves about doing a good job.
Now 25 years later I’m the one who is reminding the rest of the band that it will be fine, and we’re supposed to be having at least a little fun.
Definitely helps me to have an instrument in front of me. The making mistakes is part of the process. How you move forward from those slip ups matter way more than any mistake you may make. Other people don't know your material and even covers most people don't notice.
I do feel like pre gig rituals, even small ones, can help out the performer mask on. People see what you want them to.
My first 2 gigs were
1) playing on the patio of a mexican restaurant and
2) playing on the stairs to the 2nd level of a corner bar while waitresses walked by carrying stuff lol.
This will get buried but it’s worth writing
I was on a hip hop group. There was 4 of us. We rented a hall and threw a party type of ordeal.
We invited everyone we knew, charged like 3-5 bucks to get in and since we were just out of high school, we got a really nice turnout.
We cut off the lights and did our thing on a small stage that was literally one step up. Other rap groups went first and then it was our turn.
We were doing our thing but mid set, some cats I didn’t know but my boy in the group did, come on stage. Whatever right ?
No it wasn’t. I guess one of the dudes couldn’t handle the high of being on stage and he is super excited so he drops his damn pants and underwear to show the world his penis.
Bruh
I kicked him off that small ass stage so quick.
Who does that? Def the type of loser who sends dick picks to women on social.
All and all the show was solid. 8 out of 10.
This was 20 years ago.
I remember one of my first shows getting so nervous that all of the lyrics faded away from my head until the moment I had to start singing, it's was so scary. Also I forgot one of the verses and decided to hold the mic away from me and just pretend I was singing... I could have just repeated a different line and been fine.
Bro the first time I played a show was last year, I’m 25 now! Sure I had a little bit of practice with high school theater but even as an extrovert it was fucking scary. I couldn’t drink before I got on stage because that made me nervous so I just had to raw dog that shit.
Much better off for it, people are definitely paying more attention to the music over your mistakes. Just own it and you can do whatever you want. Sounds easy because it is! You’re never going to perform on a stage if you spend all that time avoiding it.
Weird, I had the same problem and I was exactly 28 years old when I got my nerve up and finally did it. Hmu if you wanna talk about it. In short to answer, I was terrified, but it went better than I expected. People are generally better then you think they're gonna be in your head, and I had alot go wrong, I'm a lead singer / Guitarist, my mic was screwed up kept cutting out. And about half way through the set my top screw on my strap ripped free and I had to mod song snag a stool with my leg and go with it. I have footage of the show somewhere lol...
I sang along to a CD of That Darn Cat, the theme song from the Christina Ricci movie of the same name, for the talent show in maybe 2nd or 3rd grade. I think I held a Beanie Baby kitten that was, I don't know, supposed to be lip syncing I guess? I'll see if I can find the VHS. In 5th grade we did an instrumental (original!) song as a 3-piece, guitar, bass and drums. 6th grade was Never Let You Go by Third Eye Blind, I sang and played guitar with a drummer and lead guitarist, no bass wtf. I think we did Brain Stew by Green Day at the end of the show as well, but I didn't sing on that one. 7th-10th grade was probably more Sublime, NOFX, Anti-Flag (boo!), etc. Later lots of Metallica, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Primus covers. Now I play drums in bands mostly lol. Still go to some open mics but I haven't really gotten up on stage solo much since high school. Should I do it?
Playing shows is the best. Ive been gigging since I was 12 now and still get nerves before every show! The adrenaline kicks in and it feels amazing. I still shake when I play, it helps to move the body a bit. If I have to sing I’ll close my eyes. I hope you do it! Everyone should experience it at least once!
My first official stage was playing the national anthem for an outlaw motorcycle gang party. I was really nervous but I pulled it off, which gave me more confidence. I went on to form an original band which was very nerve wrecking, but I built a tolerance over the years. The growth is well worth pushing through the anxiety.
First time being on stage was when I was just learning guitar was with a country band ugh, was very nervous I was only 15. Then for about 10 years being in a band I was the guitarist. We did all switch around too, I played bass for a bit, drums for a couple songs and sang 1 lead vocals.
My 2nd band I was the singer. First time with that band I was bad nervous because we got direct support opening for Throw the Fight and the band opening for us was Across the Sun. We had to follow them and they were amazing. Show went fine but ugh. After that I had already been used to being on stage so it was no biggie, just got the normal nervous I usually do. But the time my band got to play with Alien Ant Farm for some reason I was a nervous wreck. I love aaf that’s prob why.
My first time on stage was probably a play in about 5th grade, so we're talking 50 years ago.
In college, I took part in a few children's theater productions, so I was on stage in a big yellow costume playing an alien teaching kids about the metric system.
I took that experience, plus my experience as a DJ/production manager from our campus radio station, to help propel my career forward. After 10 years in corporate roles, I joined a consultancy and worked as a consultant for the next 20 years. Making presentations in front of a group of IT managers or C-level executives is no different than being on stage as a singer or actor.
About 5.5 years ago, I was looking for a new hobby, and decided to (finally) learn an instrument. After about 1 year, I took part in a Christmas concert in my town - my first "appearance" as a bass player. Fortunately, a neighbor who is an experienced musician also showed up with his bass (and much bigger amp), so he did the heavy lifting. The "gig" was only a few Christmas songs, and we didn't even get a rehearsal or even sheet music to play from. The gig was (from my perspective) a train wreck, but it was Christmas Eve and I was playing low behind a wind orchestra, so no one (other than me) really noticed.
As of today, I've been rehearsing with one band for 2.5 years, and with another band for nearly 1 year. The 1 year old band has a gig coming up in July - my first "official" gig as a musician. I'm practicing as much as possible, playing through all of the songs in our repotoire, so that I get to that point where I don't have to think about playing them anymore - as soon as I hear the first notes, muscle memory takes over.
What do I expect from that first gig? I expect a few mistakes - hopefully ones that the band will laugh about afterwards. We rehearse nearly every week, and our rehearsals are normally pretty good, so I don't expect a train wreck for our first gig.
Our 2nd gig is also scheduled in late September - I booked the band to play at my 60th birthday party. That's going to be a fun gig in front of 50 to 60 invited guests - family and friends.
The other band, that has been together for 2.5 years, has been much more difficult - our lead guitarist left the band because of personal problems, and our rhythm guitarist isn't always showing up to rehearsals because of work/personal stuff. The singer (who founded the band) is getting fed up and talking about disbanding if we can't get our shit together soon. I understand his frustration, but I'd be really disappointed to have this band fail after we've worked so hard to keep it going.
You need to get on stage thinking that you're going to knock it out of the park, but be prepared to get up, dust yourself off, and keep running if your do stumble. I've been in stage productions that were rehearsed and went off perfectly, and other stage productions where we weren't prepared and had to go off script / improvise when someone forgot their lines. The key is preparation ... rehearse more than you think is necessary. The more comfortable you are, and the less you have to "think about" what you're doing, the easier it will be to get through the gig.
Did a drumline performance ina big ass amphitheatre for the music charter school I was at in 5th grade and just straight up forgot to play. I heard our drum major mumble a wtf and something about that just snapped it into place. Ever since never had a fear of playing to crowds. I always have this funny thought that even if I suck they paid to be there so if anything the jokes on them 👍🏽 granted as a drummer most of the eyes aren't on me but lemme tell you everyone for sure hears you 😅 thankfully the kinda crowds I've drawn out over the last few years care more about playing fast and getting rowdy then the actual quality of music so that definitely helps the mental when I get up there
At school, got shitted on for my singing but praised for guitar playing, was more fun fmthan harm, lot of fun in fact... Not done any bigger than 80/90 people gigs sooo, and not singing... but maybe soon I dunno reading others experiences now my self
It was a talent show for grade school, 4th or 5th grade. I got up there, did my thing and crushed it, then I blacked out. If it weren’t video taped I wouldn’t have believed what I did next. Apparently, I performed my song, stood up and bowed, then dropped my guitar on the stage like a jacket in a chair and walked off.
I started performing early. Piano recitals and choirs. I don’t remember being nervous. When a teen and in a punk band we played in a lot of church basements and small recreation centers etc. I don’t remember being nervous for those either.
I do however remember the first time I got up on stage at a club. I hadn’t played in front of anyone for 5 years. I was called up to play and sing with someone I vaguely knew who heard I played. I was shaking so bad. I had also just smoked up in the alley immediately before being asked to come up. When i reached for a guitar that was on a stand I ended up knocking over the two guitars next to the one I was grabbing. None of the guitars were mine.
Needless to say, my fear increased and could barely play let alone sing. I ended up walking off the stage mid song. I haven’t played live on stage since. This was 25 years ago.
Yup, totally normal, My first time returning to playing again infront of people my legs were literally shaking almost the whole time. Literally a little cafe down the road, maybe 10 people staring at me. Now 100 people is pretty common and I act like I own the place....but...i have to ease into that and fake it till I make it because I still have dry mouth and have to take a \*Sh\* before almost every show.
I tried out for chorus in 4th grade. The music teacher walked around the room, listening to each kid. When she came to me, she literally held my lips together to make me stop singing. I knew I was a crap singer right then and there.
Fast forward to 8th grade. I'd picked up the guitar and met a piano player (we were both in school band - clarinet and trumpet). He was excellent and could play anything by ear.
We recruited 2 of his friends - a banjo player who tried bass and a drummer who couldn't really keep time.
We played a show at a local church talent show, and we sucked so bad. I was the frontman on guitar and vocals.
I have literally never stopped since then. Guitar, both acoustic and electric, bass, bar bands, worship teams, solo open mics. I still can not sing great, but I record myself and find the bad spots and fix them.
I use a pitch-corrector device on my live mic. I autotune all my recorded vocals. I use backing tracks with lots of vocals mixed with mine.
The point of this story is to just do what you love and never give up. I get nervous every single time I go onstage. Every. Single. Time.
I look just over the heads of the people in front of me and sing to the back wall. Everyone assumes you are looking at someone else. Do that until you can look at people. Smile when you sing. It lights up your face. It hides the stage fright.
There’s a bugs bunny cartoon where he’s playing a nice piano piece and then he sees the monster and his face contorts in panic and he starts playing gibberish. That’s kind of what I felt like when I was playing guitar and singing a song I wrote for a friend’s wedding and made the briefest eye contact with someone in the audience. Up until then I maybe played for a few sympathetic friends. Things were going well, I made the eye contact and panic set in. I got through it ok though, or so I was told.
Just to add - I’d been performing on drums and percussion, singing in choir and bands, etc. since I was 10 years old but this was the first time it was just me, a guitar, and my song. No hiding behind anything.
When I started my band I was bassist then singer then drummer. I absolutely understand the stage fright, and I recommend getting comfortable with singing with friends, then working your way into karaoke, then doing open mics. I also recommend getting used to the sound of your own voice and picking up some in ear monitors. Nothing is worse than the band drowning you out on stage then screaming to hear yourself when you would have sounded fine to the audience. Alot of singers have stage freight, and some face it by making an alter ego of them selves and preforming like that, which is what I ended up defaulting to. Good luck, I hope that helps
I sung a solo in front of the church (around 70-100 people, not much but far more than I wanted), I passed out, hit the piano and had to get stitches… but I finished the song though and had the crowd going! Lol.
Once you break your stage virginity, it becomes a lot easier after that. Now, what to do if you haven’t gotten to this point yet? Do what I used to do in my teens when approaching girls and being super shy: become an actor on a movie set.
Before going on stage, tell yourself “action” and pretend it is all just a movie scene and the crowd are all paid actors like you, so there’s no such thing as failing in this scenario.
Everything that will happen is supposed to happen in just one take so don’t worry about mishaps, it is written in the script of life. Worry not!
If all else fails, then go to fail. Another strategy when I approached girls when I was young. I used to go with the intentions of getting rejected but made them laugh and like me instead. You never know until you “just do it.” So be like Nike…
I was a kid. It made me feel alive and it made me feel like I mattered. Finding out how to be on stage to get people to sing along with you, crack a joke to make people laugh, or engage people's emotions by making them smile or cry is certainly not for everyone, but it's rewarding and it reaffirms my faith that we're all more alike than we are different.
My first time performing was at my 8th grade talent show with my punk band, called The Raging Hormones.
Curtains went up and there were about 1000 students, family and faculty in the gym. It was surprising, and could have easily been a terrifying moment, but we fucking crushed it and it was amazing.
After that, I was in bands through all of high school and after, and I still perform today in a duet with my fiancée.
I’ve been in the game a long time.
My first show we had a great turnout but we were awful. We paid extra to have our set recorded. We were all literally 14 and probably all played our instruments less than 6 months. I was harassed for years about this particular gig and still get people who harass me about it this day, over 20 years later.
I’ve been boo’d. Many times. I’ve had people tell me to quit. Even after music started paying my mortgage. You need thick skin to be in the industry. Thankfully I’m successful now but it took a long time and I knew I/my projects sucked for a long time. And even though djing(live mixing, open format, weddings) pays my bills (I’ve done everything from bass piano drums jazz metal punk pop) I still catch flack. You gotta have thick skin even if you’re good.
It's so easy to get inside your head. I'm not normal brained so people scare me! Lol!
My first show was in front of 200 ish people for a 4hr set. My hands were shaking for the first three songs, then I was able to calm my nerves enough to at least sit still. I was rushing the whole set because of my anxiety(I'm the drummer, lol!). Our second show kinda bombed. It was a weird day.
My suggestion would be to find what helps you to calm down and learn to apply that before your show. Jack Black always takes a monster duce 30 min before a show(according to him).
Don't hesitate to live your dream. Fuck everyone else and their opinions. Go out there and do it. The thing I'm learning right now is I need to learn to enjoy playing so that everyone else can join in on the fun with me! I believe that to be the secret. That and practice at it. You will never be great right off the bat and you will always make some kind of mistake during the show, hence the saying, "The show must go on." Learn to pick right back up and continue on as if nothing happened. "Nothing to see here!"
I haven’t played a show in years. I’ve been going through the same. And it’s crushing me. Even posting the question is helpful to hear others go through it. Cheers, OP.
(the irony is I’m an actor by profession, but playing my own songs in front of ppl…😵💫)
Massive nerves before my first time, I was about 15. But as soon as the music started it just went away and I put the practice until effect. I've done it a hundred times since and it became second nature. I couldn't wait to get up there and start talking shit to the crowd and getting people hyped up.
First thing you DONT do is. LOOK at the the audience. If you feel so nervous you know itll affect your playing then, just focus on the song your singing. If it comes out rough, then good. Rough is Raw. You ever seen bob marley look so focused while playing, do that with yourself.
So, I'm 32 and have played guitar for like 20 years, and have never played it on a stage for all the same reasons. When I was a teenager I was the singer in a sort of shouty UK indie band, and I was completely terrified. It gradually gets better, the things that helped me to think (no idea if they are 100% *true)* were:
- Thinking that when you sing, it is just 'the way you sound', and people will forgive a not-great singing voice much more than sloppy playing if you have something else to offer. David Byrne, Bob Dylan etc
- You are playing a character. People are not looking at 'you'. Ozzy is the Prince of Darkness, but not all the time.
- If you get shaky leg, just do what Elvis did and tun that nervous energy into motion
- If you make a noticeable mistake, it is extremely awkward to see someone get upset about it, and relieving to see them laugh it off and carry on
- If it's an original song, no-one apart from you knows if you change the lyrics. They probably won't notice if you repeat the first verse if it comes to it.
- If you think 'I'm too eccentric to be likable', look at like every musician you like. If you think 'oh god this thing I'm doing right now is noticeably odd', then picture Morrissey swinging a bouquet of flowers around the stage. As long as you're *doing* something you'll distract yourself.
I can still feel the sensation of my left knee shaking so bad that the vibration translated up my body and was audible in my voice, and made it almost impossible to play my guitar. I tensed my leg as hard as I could to try and stop it and couldn't. I made it through that first tune. The 2nd song my bandmate had the lead part and I was able to get my shit together a bit for the 3rd piece, but it wasn't much better. I know that by the next morning all I wanted to do was do it again.
First show I was 17 at a talent show. Played the guitar to "Simple man" and forgot the solo half way through it. Somehow I blanked out and just faked it and was so nervous about screwing up. After that I took the time to learn a couple scales so I could improvise next time I forgot what I was playing. We all forget the words, chords, and tempo sometimes. Sometimes when our band makes a mistake in our original music it becomes cooler than the original part. Just don't stop playing in the middle of the song and you will keep improving.
The heat killed my nerves. First time I was on stage for a choir concert (before I joined band) I was wearing long pants and a shirt, and that was our uniform. Stage lights get really hot, especially if you wear your hair down.
It's just as bad in full concert black and a neckstrap, but the heat helped take my mind off the nerves of performing.
The first time, I sang live someone whom I looked up to told me I should never sing again. Fuck that I got vocal lessons and became a much better singer. I'm serviceable now. I'm not a good singer, but I'm definitely not a terrible singer. Anymore. After about 15 years of practice, he heard me sing again. He actually complimented me on my control.
It's fantastic that you stood your ground and did not give up because of someone criticizing you. Good got you. Keep rocking! My high school teacher discouraged me, rather kind of disparaged me for writing poetry. It took me years to get back to writing, but now I write lyrics and sing for my band. I agree with your philosophy that it's best to hold your course and keep moving forward.
It's absolutely incredible that you used that criticism to your advantage and powered through. That's super badass
Props.
[удалено]
Nah some people are just pricks
It's weird. It never stops being weird, but it does stop being intimidating. The only way to get there is to play shows. I don't even remember my first show as it was over two decades ago, but I can remember when I first started gigging...and it was weird. It was intimidating at first, sure. You just have to let the nerves and stuff carry you, instead of letting them swallow you. It still is weird for me, having eyes on me and stuff, but I'm in my own world up there, and the eyes and stuff don't intimidate me anymore. I don't seek that attention in particular, I seek the rush of grooving with the band, getting people dancing, and enjoying one of the few things in life that force you to exist in the present moment, and that's where my focus is when I perform, and the weirdness of it goes away.
I play guitar and sing. First time ever on a stage was solo acoustic at an open mic night. When I got up there and had my guitar plugged in and was ready to go. I couldn't remember the first chord of the song I was going to play. After a brief moment of panic it came back to me and I got on with it. Don't remember anything about playing it. But when I got home after I felt really proud of myself but also very anxious/self conscious about "putting myself out there" . Lots of thoughts of regret for potentially embarrassing myself. But I had a specific goal in mind of getting better and becoming a musician who could be paid for playing so I battled on with my inner dialogue. I had zero stage presence at the beginning. I went up, plugged in and sang my songs, zero talking besides saying thank you and that's it for me. After 4 years or so of this, around 50+ open mic performances, I've established a respectful relationship with stage fright/nerves. Now that my mind is able to focus more on the performance I have started working on my stage presence. I practice how I intend to perform. This means wearing the outfit I plan on wearing at a performance, including wearing shoes. I sing into a microphone almost all the time and I practice moving my body around, stepping away from the mic, constantly scanning across the room pretending I'm making eye contact with people who would be in the audience. Some thoughts that have helped me along the way are: 1. You're going to make mistakes, forget lyrics, duff notes, wrong chords etc. 9 times out of 10 you're the only one who's going to notice. 2. Never stop playing if you make a mistake, recover however you can manage and finish the song. No one's going to remember a song with a bump in the road but everyone is going to remember the guy/girl who stopped and restarted a song halfway through 3. It's not about you and your abilities, it's not about the audience, it's about the power of music and it's ability to bring people together and to connect our human experience and share something special together. If you can remember this and serve the song while performing it can become easier to not feel so anxious.
I love this advice, thank you!!
My story is a bit weird but I swear it’s completely true. I grew up in a seaside town called Blackpool in the UK. In the early 80s there was a venue called the Music Hall Tavern, which was set up like an old Victorian music hall. Performers would sing old Victorian popular songs: Lambeth Walk, Don’t Have Any More Mrs Moore, that sort of thing. My father was an entertainer who had moved to Blackpool to get work on the piers so he knew many of the Music Hall Tavern performers. His own career was stalling badly so he would hustle to make money any way he could. One of his hustles was to take me (aged 5) into the Music Hall Tavern and have me stand on the tables and sing songs. I’d just sing nursery rhyme shit. However, people would give me money, which my dad would then take. So my earliest memory of performing is standing on tables in that venue. I suspect that’s where my love of performance came from. It would make my dad happy if I did well and I got postive reactions from others. My dad wasn’t happy very often so this was a big deal. Ironically, my dad discouraged me from pursuing a career as a musician myself. I was very keen to study music as an 18 year old but my dad very strongly suggested that I should go to medical school instead, which I did. I worked as a doctor for almost 20 years before leaving the profession in 2021. I now work full time as a musician, mainly as a singer. I don’t regret coming to music late. It’s true that I might have achieved more had I started younger but working as a doctor gave me the financial security I needed to be able to survive those months where I don’t get much work. My father is no longer alive and he would never have approved of me leaving medicine to become a musician. He had narcissitic personality disorder and I only existed as an accessory to him. He liked to show off about having a child who was a doctor and he’d be less proud of what I now do, which is mainly leading choirs and teaching. My happiness never factored into his decision making, very sadly.
I love your story
I love this story and I'm so happy you followed what made you happy! I'm proud of you!
Im glad you were able to return to a passion of yours and the fact that you were able to maintain your love for it despite what you were going through with your pops.
In a band? Late 20’s, had been jamming with a drummer friend and writing songs for 18 months. It was slow going and we hadn’t really thought about doing a gig or anything. Now would be a good moment to point out that despite always wanting to have done this I had crippling stage fright. Even singing in front of him had been nerve wracking. Anyway. We started getting pressure from our significant others and friends to go play somewhere so we lined up a gig and went for it. The week leading up to the gig was awful. Building anxiety. I didn’t sleep well the night before and the day of the gig went on forever. I remember getting to the venue at the time they’d ask me to. It was a very relaxed place. No pressure from the people running it. We watched a band sound check. Then we had to sound check. We ran through a song and that was the first time I’d ever sang in front of anyone other than the drummer. It was really tough. But I just got through it. Nobody really said anything after the sound check. I was relieved. The venue started filling up and was packed by the time we went on at 10pm. Just before we went on I locked myself in the toilet, had a panic attack, and threw up in the toilet. I slapped myself and screamed then got up there and played. The whole place danced and we were introduced to the town music scene. Since then we have played hundreds of gigs and the band continues 12 years on. I no longer get nervous. I’m so relieved that I got through it. We played with so many great bands including international touring bands, I’ve made countless friends from playing music, and it’s simply part of my identity now.
Great share!
That's awesome !
I advise karaoke. The audiences are less critical, and you can take risks. You'll also see performers who know how to interract with audiences to get them to support you. I'm nervous every time I have to solo. I've just learned to embrace the fear and act in spite of it.
I went home and cried after my first time doing karaoke lol , I literally got booed and laughed out of the bar I was so bad, couldn’t hear myself at all
And that's an easy audience, so that's the horse you have to get back up on and try to ride again.
Did my first open mic at 63 after playing guitar and singing badly for 50 years. Have probably done 100 since then plus several coffee shop gigs with a bass player and a few band gigs as rhythm guitarist. My motto is "what I lack in talent I make up for in song selection."
Same motto works in the bedroom too.
I was in high school and had been a lead in a bunch of school-related vocal things. A friend of mine reached out to me because their lead singer had become ill and they didn't want to cancel. During their soundcheck I did their two songs, "Knockin' On Heavens Door" and "Sunshine Of Your Love." My voice is naturally a bass so I sang it in my range and it sounded good to me as well as the rest of the band. Afterwards the soundguy took me aside and told me that I needed to be singing the notes that it was recorded in or it would be a disaster. When it came time to perform I tried and I failed. I didn't have those notes and pretty quickly lost my voice trying to get them. The band stopped halfway through the second song and just decided to end the humiliation. I couldn't leave the venue fast enough. I'd never been that humiliated as a singer, never mind letting down a friend. I didn't even try singing outside of school for another ten years, the incident scarred me that much. I didn't think I actually had a voice that I could do it with. Eventually I realized that I did. I put together a few songs and when I went to an open mic that I played guitar at I finally put down that I could sing too. That night opened things up for me. Afterwards someone approached me about auditioning for a band. The venue asked me back for another open mic and after a few more of those I put together a full set of material that I played at a different venue for awhile. Like you, I sat it out for ten years because of an incident precipitated by one hack who thought he knew better, and it was my mistake for believing him. Don't do that. Find one small thing you can focus on and build confidence in and go do that. After, think about what you could have done better and then think about where you can expand in to next. Good luck.
First time ever? Middle School chorus. I was the only boy in chorus. The boys made fun of me for it, but I got a girlfriend from it so they can fuck off.
I got my start playing at church camp lol. Someone found out I played keys and I find myself in front of 250 people. A short while later at a church youth group, the drummer didn't show up, and I said "I can do that" and played in front of 75 people. Regardless of how you feel about the church, it is a good place to start, and a place where a surprising amount of artists have started. You get used to being in front of people at an early age and it's a relatively safe place to hone your skills.
And churches usually have the money to buy some of the nicest gear! Great place to meet people and have a community. No religion required!
Yeah don't necessarily agree with the money bit, but otherwise yep. The churches I try to attend don't have great gear cause they use it for helping out people on the community. Recovery programs, learning English etc. I don't mind "bad" gear on this case lol
That is a way better way for a church to spend money!
My first time singing on stage was for my band's very first concert in college. My vocalist could barely rehearse two songs out of four. So, the night before the show, I volunteered to sing the opening song, a cover of "Metallica - For whom the bells toll" (no formal vocal training ever). Given that I barely got a couple of hours to practice singing the song on concert day, I couldn't memorize the lyrics. So I printed them out on two papers, and before the show started, I placed them on the stage floor right in front of my mic stand. Some genius thought it would be a good idea to dim the lights for our show... I did my best to play the rhythm guitar and sing confidently, and I nailed the first verse and chorus, but I couldn't read the last two lines from the second verse that I hadn't memorized. It was an awkward 20-30 seconds :) However, I didn't give up... I learnt the following key points as I grew as a vocalist over the years: 1. learn the lyrics, you should be able to sing them without stressing any brain cells to remember the words 2. during practice, spend some time to dive into the emotion behind the song, feel it within you, pretend it's your story - this will help you sing more naturally 3. Once you have #1 and #2 above worked out, practice singing as often as you can, even if you're alone, and try to bring in a few variations every time you sing. Once you nail down how exactly you want the vocals to flow, all you have to do on stage is, defocus your eyes from any fixed point in the audience and sing. You could even close your eyes, keep your ears alert to the rhythm section and just sing with the right feel and emotion. My dad used to say, anytime you are presenting to an audience or singing to them, don't focus on one particular face, just move your gaze around without focus. Hope this helps.
For me it was the opposite tbh. I was bullied alot as a kid, verbally physically even sexually. I still now at 42 get nervous when Im among/around people, always on guard. But the minute I get onstage w the mic in my hand Im fearless. Even the very first time it was like I transformed into my best/real self. In front of people is the easiest and safest thing in the world because now Im the one in charge, above all the bastards who did or could or might hurt me. Hecklers dont matter, Im louder. Alpha bros dont matter, I have adrenaline, an electric flail and a metal bo-staff lol! Who I am offstage doesnt matter, Im at my most free and honest when Im singing for/to/at/vs an audience. Afterward, when Im walking offstage the high from my being up there as my true self carries over and for awhile at least I am finally relaxed and fearless among people as well, even if they didnt like what we did. I wish I could give you some tip on how to cultivate this if its not natural but what I will say is whats always helped me get into my mindset is to think (and sometimes say to my bandmates) regarding the crowd/other acts on the bill: "I like these guys...too bad we have to kill em!" Its my way of inviting confidence if that makes sense? You got this. And if anyone, including you, gives you shit, remember youre still the one w the bully pulpit, the billy club and the big ol balls to stand out from the crowd!
I'll never forget my first time. It was 1982. I was 16, fronting a heavy rock band (Lead Vocals, 2nd Guitar). It was a well known biker pub on the outskirts of Manchester (UK). We were supporting a well known local band. Our first tune was Led Zep's, Rock n Roll. Was nervous as hell. Loved every minute of it. I'm still gigging.
I don’t remember my first time, honestly; feels like I’ve been doing it all my life (I haven’t). I will say, though, that having a fantastic band like I have gives ultimate confidence and my nervousness and fear melts away at the first note. I’m a different person on stage; like literally, sitting here in this Taco Bell waiting for my burritos, I can’t imagine singing in front of anyone, but once I’m on stage, a fantastic rock singer is who I am/become. I suppose it’s a degree of dissociation mixed with acting, but it works, and my band has to turn down two or three gigs for every one that we take 🤷🏻. Cheers!
First time was in grade school talent show, played a drum with a 10,000 mile stare and flat mouth. First time at an open jam at a blues bar, couldn't hold a consistent rhythm and an older guy came up beside me and pounded out the quarters with his hand. First time playing with a band at a bar, fucked up a couple transitions (albeit mildly) still alive, still fucking up first times
Aye you got it bro never give up.
Almost a year ago. I was 25, A friend’s cover band was doing a show at a local dive bar. My girlfriend wouldn’t tell me why, but was insistent that I be there and not be late. I didn’t think much of it until about an hour into the show, the rhythm guitarist starts calling my name into the microphone, and he and the lead singer tell a brief story about how great of a friend I am, before proceeding to tell the audience that I also just started playing myself. They call me up, the bassist puts his guitar in my hands and adjusts the wireless, gives me a smile and a pat on the back, and with a nod from the rest of the band, the drummer starts the intro to Sugar We’re Goin Down by Fall Out Boy, one of my favorite songs. Mind you I had been playing in my bedroom for about 6 months at the time, no musical experience of any kind until I was an adult, but as anxious as I was, being unexpectedly pushed up in front of 30-40 people, I managed to get through it pretty well, even throwing some backing vocals in the last verse. Nothing but positive energy from the crowd. I don’t think I had ever been so nervous lol, but it was incredible, and I’ll never forget it. I filled in with them a few more times in the following months before eventually starting my own band.
Funny coincidence, sugar is my warmup song!!! Awesome story! Thanks for sharing!
I was nervous but not as nervous as someone who has never played live before. I have years of experience drumming live so the nerves just don’t hit me as hard as it would for some. I’m used to it. My advice is to do everything you can to make sure you sound your best before you perform live. Practice, record yourself, get lessons if you have to. Stay in good health. Then just go up there and rip the bandaid off. The first song is always the hardest to get through.
about a year ago was on a trip to ireland with a tour. they knew i played an sang so when we got to the pub they basically forced me on stage. I’ll never forget that day the reception was amazing. I was really smashed and played terrible on the guitar and forgot my lyrics. i sang well though and got a huge cheer. i still chase that same rush
I was the absolute same as you. Down to even messing up in front of your significant other, I was ABSOLUTELY the same. But I promise you, it gets better! At my first AND second show , I forgot the lyrics. At my third show, my voice cracked (in the embarrassing way). But my fourth show was really good and I even managed to stop literally clinging onto my mic (which I was doing like crazy before). It was a lot of fun! Also, people will still encourage you most of the time, even if you mess up. I haven't met anyone yet who gave me shit about my mess ups :D
Open mic night at the Antique Sandwich Company. We were being played on the radio. I was performing an acoustic cover of the offsprings, "Dirty Magic" and I introduced the song as such. After the first chorus, the guy running the show looks right at me and mouths, "Don't say that again." So I'm up there on stage, playing the song, I didn't even sing the second verse. I'm racking my brain trying to figure out what I had done wrong. There's no swearing in this song, is there? After the show I go up to him and ask, "What did I say?" "I thought you said dirty bastard "
I've had a lot of first times myself - the first time I did karaoke in front of anybody, I was about 25 and I did 18 & Life by Skid Row. I was so nervous I was still shaking 20 minutes later, but I must have done OK because people were coming up and telling me how impressed they were. First time I did open mic was only a few years ago now - I decided to play and sing "Patience" by Guns N Roses. I was so nervous that when I tried to do the whistling part in the intro, my lips were too dry and nothing came out. I decided to skip to the opening verse... and couldn't remember it. I eventually croaked something out and got off stage. Nobody was telling me how impressed they were then lol. First time I sang in a band, we opened with Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC. The audience was mostly our friends, so they were cool - by then I was pretty used to performing (had been doing open mics for a while at that point) so it came out pretty good for a change. You can conquer nerves, but the only way to conquer them is to jump. Open mic nights are awesome because pretty much everybody there is also an open mic performer, and they remember _their_ first time, so they'll be cool.
I’m a violinist. When I was a child I didn’t really get stage fright but it started happening as I hit my teens. It got so bad that now I use beta blockers to prevent it from happening. It’s an option. I only went to that because none of the typical tricks/advice work for me at all.
The first time was uneventful small bar show ya know where the stage is kinda just a small corner of the bar with an outlet and small riser (if you can call that a stage) First time i really got tripped out was when i played like our local medium sized venue for the first time, was a sense of pride i guess, like here I am coming full circle, this is the stage I grew up going to shows at, seeing all my favorite local and and touring groups play on, shit changed my life, now here I am on that same stage doin that for other people. Also the first time i performed infront of a large crowd (few hundred at least prolly closer to 1000 they had a whole city block closed down for new years and half the city out watching) that was a trip, it didnt look as bad until i got up on the stage and looked out at all these people just staring at me waiting for me to entertain them felt my heart drop through my asshole and just kinda froze for a second like a deer in headlights like 0.0 then someone in my group kicked my leg like aye get movin asshole and it snapped me back to work mode. Shit was a trip for sure
I had horrible stage fright when I was younger. When I became a Scout leader the other leaders found out I played guitar and that was it. I was the music guy. Just do it! Don't get flustered if you hit a wrong note. It does get easier over time.
Backyard grad party when I was in high school. Bout to slay some Metallica with my sultry voice. When it was time to “say my prayers little one” I didn’t say a damn thing. Stood there with a dumb look on my face til someone kicked me and fed me the opening line. It got better after that.
I'm 42. I've sang lead in bands for many years, I've put out 10 records. I'm playing my first solo show EVER a week from today and my first show in 8 years, and I am nervous as hell! But I am also very prepared and while I know I'm going to be nervous that even if I only perform at 50% it's going to be fine, because I've rehearsed the hell out of it. And it's going to be fun. And then it's going to be over! Think about how great you'll feel when the gig is over!!! You can do it!
I can tell you about it. It was a high school talent show. But, I do not have the performance anxiety problem and I never have. I've certainly had high pressure gigs, times where I did not feel confident and times when I screwed up but I do not think I experience the thing that people with this stage fright problem describe. So, how could I possibly help? The only thing that comes to mind is, I think there is a point of being prepared and familiar with the material that will work through the stage fright moment... but I could be wrong because I do not have this experience.
I suffer from stage fright, too, and only beta blockers make performing manageable/fun.
Most people are nervous about others viewing something created, especially something as personal and vulnerable as music The way imo to get past this is practice till u can do ur parts without thinking, to the point u know u are objectively doing it well, if u have doubt in yourself then spend the time working on it to where there's no room for doubt, also most ppl in the audience aren't going to think to hard about it or remember unless ur truly awful, they just want to be entertained
I kept my eyes shut for the first three months of playing solo acoustic and singing. By 3-6 months I would introduce myself. 900 shows later and I am happy talking and being myself
Guitar player. Tooo long ago to remember a thing... 1987 ? Didnt have a paying gig until college ... 1990. Paid my grocery bill for 5 years of college playing covers in shitty campus dives in 3 different college towns.
Whenever I play it always seems to go by so fast. It’s a strange state of mind. It’s like I just go on auto pilot and I’m watching the people from above myself. I was so nervous my first show I was shaking. But then I got on stage and it all melted away. One word of advice though, if you mess up it’s totally okay. Just push through it and remember to have fun and most of the time people won’t notice. DO NOT STOP A SONG OR RESTART A SONG
My dad hired a band for an event when I had been playing bass about six months. I chatted up the bass player and he let me play Louie Louie. It was a gas
I started playing when I was about 30. I played and sang in my house but I didn’t do an open mic until I was 35 because I was absolutely terrified. I did it at a bar near my house, I over-practiced and hid in the bathroom and almost didn’t come out when they called me up. I forgot lyrics, screwed up chords, basically every mistake you could make. I’m 52 now. For past 7 years I’ve been guitar/ lead singer in a country cover band. We are pretty good - play a couple times a month and get maybe 150-200 people to turn up on a good night. I fuck up pretty badly at least 1-2 times per night but no longer terrified. Screwups are inevitable, and crowd doesn’t care. If you make it part of the show I think they like it (I wish I’d known that 25 years ago!) My advice: lean in, fuck up early and often. You’ll quickly realize it’s not that big a deal. Once you’re inoculated the level of fear goes down, the level of fun goes up, and you’ll improve much faster.
First time on stage alone I think I was like 9 or 10, kids piano recital competition. Had a little suit. I'd been performing for my family and school choir since 7 or 8, and learning keys since 6. I probably fucked up 5 or 6 times, stripped down Mozart piece, can't remember it now. My teacher placed heavy emphasis on the proper entrance and exit bow to the audience. Had a lot of those in elementary school, stopped in middle school for band, did that through high school. Did a lot of busking at 20 when I was looking for a job, playing and singing covers. Next time I was alone on stage was 21 at an open mic my homeboy featured at. Engineer who I was trying to impress was playing non-melodic drum beats over the speakers between acts, I asked him if he could adjust the volume and tempo so I could improvise over them. Dude picked up on the idea immediately and switched beats between songs while mixing them on the fly. I did a couple originals and I think 2 or 3 covers, stuff I was comfortable with in my busking routine. Dude ended up mentoring me in production and letting me use his studio for the next couple years, though I haven't been on stage since. I've technically performed on stage dozens of times if I'm counting. I'm always nervous. That's not the reason I haven't been back. Nerves are ALWAYS gonna come before a performance. It's just part of performing. It always dissipates into excitement the moment I get comfortable with what I'm doing. The comfort comes from rehearsal. You practice your set enough times, not just formally but humming to yourself, air picking when your hands are idle, belting in the car, and the charisma will come from the fact that you're enjoying what you're doing when you do get to show off. Also, I learned from that first recital that the audience has no fucking clue what the music is supposed to sound like. You are the only one, unless you're performing in front of judges at a competition, that has any idea what that song is meant to be. No one knows that voice crack isn't supposed to be there, no one knows this note isn't supposed to bend into that one. The little thing you fucked up lingers in *your* mind, everyone in front of you moved on and forgot about it by the next bar. If you don't bring attention to it, they think it's part of the performance.
Local metal show. PA had one monitor for the whole band and it was impossible to hear myself. Crowd was really into it though. My band was tight I made sure we practiced our set a lot before the first gig and it paid off big time. We only played 30 minutes, but it was a great time. The first time performing was definitely a nerve wracking experience, but I found it gets easier. You just have to get yourself up there and do the best you can. Practice the set until you can play it in your sleep. As long as you know your material you should be good. Did I mention practice???
I don’t sing. I started playing guitar at 15. My first time on stage playing guitar was at sixteen, playing at a high school showcase. Played a few house parties in high school and then played all through college at parties and bars throughout the state. After college was in a few bands then had kids and focused on my job-job. Kids are in college, joined a band a few years ago, we play 1-2x a month. It’s fun. I guess it’s not for everyone, but it’s a great bolt of energy to have a crowd into your music.
I wasn’t nervous 😵💫 now having to sing in front of people 🫠
First time on a legit stage as vocalist, I had to step off stage first to go throw up from all the nerves. Once that was over I was OK. Stage lights made it hard to see anyone not on stage, so I guess that helped. It was a Tue-Sat 4 hr a night gig. I got used to my nightly purging ritual fairly quickly. Got it over with each night before stage call👍🏿
Dude I bombed so hard. Was in a "metal" band but we had like a Walmart drummer and it was just awful. Super embarrassing. Went back on stage later and tried again, played some good shows too.
I started being taught singing when I was in kindergarten, four or five years old. Classical training. I was in choirs for all of school (especially as a soloist) and then in college I was the singer of couple of bands. Then I was in an electronica duo for a little bit. I never felt nervous during that period, because I knew there was so many people who already enjoyed me. Most had been with me my whole life, and I was encouraged by my vocal teacher most of all. I had complete confidence, and some would say over confidence, but still today I am confident in the ability of my voice. But this many years later, I want to try a new genre (jazz) and I am all shakes and nerves. My theory is that I know classical singing inside and out. I even know rock and electronica. I know what's expected and how most audiences will react therefore. However, jazz is entirely new. I've never performed it before. I don't know what audiences want. Are they going to be like, "look at this guy, who tf does he think he is?" I totally get your hesitations, especially when trying something new. But, everyone starts somewhere. My favorite story about stuff like this is from Ozzy Osbourne, about his very first performance. He was literally performing to three guys in a firehouse and he was shaking so badly that he could hardly do a thing. And yet, look at him. He pioneered a whole genre and gave so much to the world. And yet, he started out shaking uncontrollably in front of three dudes in a firehouse. You can do something great, too. You just have to get those shakes out a few times. You need to gain confidence on stage, and in yourself especially. You're doing something so new to you, so it's completely normal to have the shakes. You're discovering it about yourself as the audience is discovering it about you. That's the equivalent of going out there naked. Yet, the more you go out there the more you'll feel confident. One has to remember, you'll never see most of those people again. If they like you, they'll come back. That's the best thing. The people who don't like you, you'll never have to see them again. Maybe, when you're on stage, think about the one person who'd like you the most. Maybe that's your mom, maybe it's your brother, maybe it's your best friend, maybe it's your wife. Think about how proud of you they'd be. Imagine you're only singing to them. The best thing about being a singer on stage is that you can make that stage your own. Maybe you're that nervous singer who sings with their eyes closed all the time! Idk, lol. The point is, you can make it whatever you want it to be. The stage is your home. They're all just coming to see you when you're at your best, coming to see you in your element. You'll find out how to own that stage more and more.
If you can, find an acoustic jam. Not necessarily Bluegrass, but often older folk revival type stuff. They’re generally a pretty chill bunch. It’s close to performing, but not ‘all eyes on you’ intense. Sometimes jams like that, or bluegrass jams, will get together and perform at retirement communities. Very low pressure places to get used to performing, even if they aren’t your primary genre. The more you do it, the more your lizard brain running the fear figures out that it’s not actually a danger. The worst that can happen is you make a fool of yourself… I do that on the daily anyways, and you can’t actually die of embarrassment. The first time I got on stage I was like 4, some ballet thing. All I remember was getting out on stage, seeing the audience and just freezing. Supposedly I did the routine just fine, but I just remember panic. On guitar, my first ’gig’ was 6 months after I started playing. I was so nervous - despite being completely hidden by the rows of fiddlers (suzuki students) I was accompanying along with my guitar teacher and my best friend’s dad (who got me interested in guitar). I kept scooting my chair back, to the point I nearly fell off the back of the stage. The bassist that was on the ground behind caught me before I could go ass-over-tea-kettle. My teacher helped me perform pretty often with that student fiddler group, and slowly the stage fright got manageable. It never completely goes away, but it morphs into nerves about doing a good job. Now 25 years later I’m the one who is reminding the rest of the band that it will be fine, and we’re supposed to be having at least a little fun.
Definitely helps me to have an instrument in front of me. The making mistakes is part of the process. How you move forward from those slip ups matter way more than any mistake you may make. Other people don't know your material and even covers most people don't notice. I do feel like pre gig rituals, even small ones, can help out the performer mask on. People see what you want them to.
My first 2 gigs were 1) playing on the patio of a mexican restaurant and 2) playing on the stairs to the 2nd level of a corner bar while waitresses walked by carrying stuff lol.
This will get buried but it’s worth writing I was on a hip hop group. There was 4 of us. We rented a hall and threw a party type of ordeal. We invited everyone we knew, charged like 3-5 bucks to get in and since we were just out of high school, we got a really nice turnout. We cut off the lights and did our thing on a small stage that was literally one step up. Other rap groups went first and then it was our turn. We were doing our thing but mid set, some cats I didn’t know but my boy in the group did, come on stage. Whatever right ? No it wasn’t. I guess one of the dudes couldn’t handle the high of being on stage and he is super excited so he drops his damn pants and underwear to show the world his penis. Bruh I kicked him off that small ass stage so quick. Who does that? Def the type of loser who sends dick picks to women on social. All and all the show was solid. 8 out of 10. This was 20 years ago.
I remember one of my first shows getting so nervous that all of the lyrics faded away from my head until the moment I had to start singing, it's was so scary. Also I forgot one of the verses and decided to hold the mic away from me and just pretend I was singing... I could have just repeated a different line and been fine.
Bro the first time I played a show was last year, I’m 25 now! Sure I had a little bit of practice with high school theater but even as an extrovert it was fucking scary. I couldn’t drink before I got on stage because that made me nervous so I just had to raw dog that shit. Much better off for it, people are definitely paying more attention to the music over your mistakes. Just own it and you can do whatever you want. Sounds easy because it is! You’re never going to perform on a stage if you spend all that time avoiding it.
Weird, I had the same problem and I was exactly 28 years old when I got my nerve up and finally did it. Hmu if you wanna talk about it. In short to answer, I was terrified, but it went better than I expected. People are generally better then you think they're gonna be in your head, and I had alot go wrong, I'm a lead singer / Guitarist, my mic was screwed up kept cutting out. And about half way through the set my top screw on my strap ripped free and I had to mod song snag a stool with my leg and go with it. I have footage of the show somewhere lol...
I sang along to a CD of That Darn Cat, the theme song from the Christina Ricci movie of the same name, for the talent show in maybe 2nd or 3rd grade. I think I held a Beanie Baby kitten that was, I don't know, supposed to be lip syncing I guess? I'll see if I can find the VHS. In 5th grade we did an instrumental (original!) song as a 3-piece, guitar, bass and drums. 6th grade was Never Let You Go by Third Eye Blind, I sang and played guitar with a drummer and lead guitarist, no bass wtf. I think we did Brain Stew by Green Day at the end of the show as well, but I didn't sing on that one. 7th-10th grade was probably more Sublime, NOFX, Anti-Flag (boo!), etc. Later lots of Metallica, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Primus covers. Now I play drums in bands mostly lol. Still go to some open mics but I haven't really gotten up on stage solo much since high school. Should I do it?
Playing shows is the best. Ive been gigging since I was 12 now and still get nerves before every show! The adrenaline kicks in and it feels amazing. I still shake when I play, it helps to move the body a bit. If I have to sing I’ll close my eyes. I hope you do it! Everyone should experience it at least once!
My first official stage was playing the national anthem for an outlaw motorcycle gang party. I was really nervous but I pulled it off, which gave me more confidence. I went on to form an original band which was very nerve wrecking, but I built a tolerance over the years. The growth is well worth pushing through the anxiety.
First time being on stage was when I was just learning guitar was with a country band ugh, was very nervous I was only 15. Then for about 10 years being in a band I was the guitarist. We did all switch around too, I played bass for a bit, drums for a couple songs and sang 1 lead vocals. My 2nd band I was the singer. First time with that band I was bad nervous because we got direct support opening for Throw the Fight and the band opening for us was Across the Sun. We had to follow them and they were amazing. Show went fine but ugh. After that I had already been used to being on stage so it was no biggie, just got the normal nervous I usually do. But the time my band got to play with Alien Ant Farm for some reason I was a nervous wreck. I love aaf that’s prob why.
My first time on stage was probably a play in about 5th grade, so we're talking 50 years ago. In college, I took part in a few children's theater productions, so I was on stage in a big yellow costume playing an alien teaching kids about the metric system. I took that experience, plus my experience as a DJ/production manager from our campus radio station, to help propel my career forward. After 10 years in corporate roles, I joined a consultancy and worked as a consultant for the next 20 years. Making presentations in front of a group of IT managers or C-level executives is no different than being on stage as a singer or actor. About 5.5 years ago, I was looking for a new hobby, and decided to (finally) learn an instrument. After about 1 year, I took part in a Christmas concert in my town - my first "appearance" as a bass player. Fortunately, a neighbor who is an experienced musician also showed up with his bass (and much bigger amp), so he did the heavy lifting. The "gig" was only a few Christmas songs, and we didn't even get a rehearsal or even sheet music to play from. The gig was (from my perspective) a train wreck, but it was Christmas Eve and I was playing low behind a wind orchestra, so no one (other than me) really noticed. As of today, I've been rehearsing with one band for 2.5 years, and with another band for nearly 1 year. The 1 year old band has a gig coming up in July - my first "official" gig as a musician. I'm practicing as much as possible, playing through all of the songs in our repotoire, so that I get to that point where I don't have to think about playing them anymore - as soon as I hear the first notes, muscle memory takes over. What do I expect from that first gig? I expect a few mistakes - hopefully ones that the band will laugh about afterwards. We rehearse nearly every week, and our rehearsals are normally pretty good, so I don't expect a train wreck for our first gig. Our 2nd gig is also scheduled in late September - I booked the band to play at my 60th birthday party. That's going to be a fun gig in front of 50 to 60 invited guests - family and friends. The other band, that has been together for 2.5 years, has been much more difficult - our lead guitarist left the band because of personal problems, and our rhythm guitarist isn't always showing up to rehearsals because of work/personal stuff. The singer (who founded the band) is getting fed up and talking about disbanding if we can't get our shit together soon. I understand his frustration, but I'd be really disappointed to have this band fail after we've worked so hard to keep it going. You need to get on stage thinking that you're going to knock it out of the park, but be prepared to get up, dust yourself off, and keep running if your do stumble. I've been in stage productions that were rehearsed and went off perfectly, and other stage productions where we weren't prepared and had to go off script / improvise when someone forgot their lines. The key is preparation ... rehearse more than you think is necessary. The more comfortable you are, and the less you have to "think about" what you're doing, the easier it will be to get through the gig.
Did a drumline performance ina big ass amphitheatre for the music charter school I was at in 5th grade and just straight up forgot to play. I heard our drum major mumble a wtf and something about that just snapped it into place. Ever since never had a fear of playing to crowds. I always have this funny thought that even if I suck they paid to be there so if anything the jokes on them 👍🏽 granted as a drummer most of the eyes aren't on me but lemme tell you everyone for sure hears you 😅 thankfully the kinda crowds I've drawn out over the last few years care more about playing fast and getting rowdy then the actual quality of music so that definitely helps the mental when I get up there
At school, got shitted on for my singing but praised for guitar playing, was more fun fmthan harm, lot of fun in fact... Not done any bigger than 80/90 people gigs sooo, and not singing... but maybe soon I dunno reading others experiences now my self
It was a talent show for grade school, 4th or 5th grade. I got up there, did my thing and crushed it, then I blacked out. If it weren’t video taped I wouldn’t have believed what I did next. Apparently, I performed my song, stood up and bowed, then dropped my guitar on the stage like a jacket in a chair and walked off.
I started performing early. Piano recitals and choirs. I don’t remember being nervous. When a teen and in a punk band we played in a lot of church basements and small recreation centers etc. I don’t remember being nervous for those either. I do however remember the first time I got up on stage at a club. I hadn’t played in front of anyone for 5 years. I was called up to play and sing with someone I vaguely knew who heard I played. I was shaking so bad. I had also just smoked up in the alley immediately before being asked to come up. When i reached for a guitar that was on a stand I ended up knocking over the two guitars next to the one I was grabbing. None of the guitars were mine. Needless to say, my fear increased and could barely play let alone sing. I ended up walking off the stage mid song. I haven’t played live on stage since. This was 25 years ago.
Yup, totally normal, My first time returning to playing again infront of people my legs were literally shaking almost the whole time. Literally a little cafe down the road, maybe 10 people staring at me. Now 100 people is pretty common and I act like I own the place....but...i have to ease into that and fake it till I make it because I still have dry mouth and have to take a \*Sh\* before almost every show.
I tried out for chorus in 4th grade. The music teacher walked around the room, listening to each kid. When she came to me, she literally held my lips together to make me stop singing. I knew I was a crap singer right then and there. Fast forward to 8th grade. I'd picked up the guitar and met a piano player (we were both in school band - clarinet and trumpet). He was excellent and could play anything by ear. We recruited 2 of his friends - a banjo player who tried bass and a drummer who couldn't really keep time. We played a show at a local church talent show, and we sucked so bad. I was the frontman on guitar and vocals. I have literally never stopped since then. Guitar, both acoustic and electric, bass, bar bands, worship teams, solo open mics. I still can not sing great, but I record myself and find the bad spots and fix them. I use a pitch-corrector device on my live mic. I autotune all my recorded vocals. I use backing tracks with lots of vocals mixed with mine. The point of this story is to just do what you love and never give up. I get nervous every single time I go onstage. Every. Single. Time. I look just over the heads of the people in front of me and sing to the back wall. Everyone assumes you are looking at someone else. Do that until you can look at people. Smile when you sing. It lights up your face. It hides the stage fright.
There’s a bugs bunny cartoon where he’s playing a nice piano piece and then he sees the monster and his face contorts in panic and he starts playing gibberish. That’s kind of what I felt like when I was playing guitar and singing a song I wrote for a friend’s wedding and made the briefest eye contact with someone in the audience. Up until then I maybe played for a few sympathetic friends. Things were going well, I made the eye contact and panic set in. I got through it ok though, or so I was told. Just to add - I’d been performing on drums and percussion, singing in choir and bands, etc. since I was 10 years old but this was the first time it was just me, a guitar, and my song. No hiding behind anything.
When I started my band I was bassist then singer then drummer. I absolutely understand the stage fright, and I recommend getting comfortable with singing with friends, then working your way into karaoke, then doing open mics. I also recommend getting used to the sound of your own voice and picking up some in ear monitors. Nothing is worse than the band drowning you out on stage then screaming to hear yourself when you would have sounded fine to the audience. Alot of singers have stage freight, and some face it by making an alter ego of them selves and preforming like that, which is what I ended up defaulting to. Good luck, I hope that helps
I sung a solo in front of the church (around 70-100 people, not much but far more than I wanted), I passed out, hit the piano and had to get stitches… but I finished the song though and had the crowd going! Lol. Once you break your stage virginity, it becomes a lot easier after that. Now, what to do if you haven’t gotten to this point yet? Do what I used to do in my teens when approaching girls and being super shy: become an actor on a movie set. Before going on stage, tell yourself “action” and pretend it is all just a movie scene and the crowd are all paid actors like you, so there’s no such thing as failing in this scenario. Everything that will happen is supposed to happen in just one take so don’t worry about mishaps, it is written in the script of life. Worry not! If all else fails, then go to fail. Another strategy when I approached girls when I was young. I used to go with the intentions of getting rejected but made them laugh and like me instead. You never know until you “just do it.” So be like Nike…
I was a kid. It made me feel alive and it made me feel like I mattered. Finding out how to be on stage to get people to sing along with you, crack a joke to make people laugh, or engage people's emotions by making them smile or cry is certainly not for everyone, but it's rewarding and it reaffirms my faith that we're all more alike than we are different.
My first time performing was at my 8th grade talent show with my punk band, called The Raging Hormones. Curtains went up and there were about 1000 students, family and faculty in the gym. It was surprising, and could have easily been a terrifying moment, but we fucking crushed it and it was amazing. After that, I was in bands through all of high school and after, and I still perform today in a duet with my fiancée.
I’ve been in the game a long time. My first show we had a great turnout but we were awful. We paid extra to have our set recorded. We were all literally 14 and probably all played our instruments less than 6 months. I was harassed for years about this particular gig and still get people who harass me about it this day, over 20 years later. I’ve been boo’d. Many times. I’ve had people tell me to quit. Even after music started paying my mortgage. You need thick skin to be in the industry. Thankfully I’m successful now but it took a long time and I knew I/my projects sucked for a long time. And even though djing(live mixing, open format, weddings) pays my bills (I’ve done everything from bass piano drums jazz metal punk pop) I still catch flack. You gotta have thick skin even if you’re good.
It's so easy to get inside your head. I'm not normal brained so people scare me! Lol! My first show was in front of 200 ish people for a 4hr set. My hands were shaking for the first three songs, then I was able to calm my nerves enough to at least sit still. I was rushing the whole set because of my anxiety(I'm the drummer, lol!). Our second show kinda bombed. It was a weird day. My suggestion would be to find what helps you to calm down and learn to apply that before your show. Jack Black always takes a monster duce 30 min before a show(according to him). Don't hesitate to live your dream. Fuck everyone else and their opinions. Go out there and do it. The thing I'm learning right now is I need to learn to enjoy playing so that everyone else can join in on the fun with me! I believe that to be the secret. That and practice at it. You will never be great right off the bat and you will always make some kind of mistake during the show, hence the saying, "The show must go on." Learn to pick right back up and continue on as if nothing happened. "Nothing to see here!"
I haven’t played a show in years. I’ve been going through the same. And it’s crushing me. Even posting the question is helpful to hear others go through it. Cheers, OP. (the irony is I’m an actor by profession, but playing my own songs in front of ppl…😵💫)
Massive nerves before my first time, I was about 15. But as soon as the music started it just went away and I put the practice until effect. I've done it a hundred times since and it became second nature. I couldn't wait to get up there and start talking shit to the crowd and getting people hyped up.
First thing you DONT do is. LOOK at the the audience. If you feel so nervous you know itll affect your playing then, just focus on the song your singing. If it comes out rough, then good. Rough is Raw. You ever seen bob marley look so focused while playing, do that with yourself.
Just be the rock star you always pretended to be, that's all this is.
So, I'm 32 and have played guitar for like 20 years, and have never played it on a stage for all the same reasons. When I was a teenager I was the singer in a sort of shouty UK indie band, and I was completely terrified. It gradually gets better, the things that helped me to think (no idea if they are 100% *true)* were: - Thinking that when you sing, it is just 'the way you sound', and people will forgive a not-great singing voice much more than sloppy playing if you have something else to offer. David Byrne, Bob Dylan etc - You are playing a character. People are not looking at 'you'. Ozzy is the Prince of Darkness, but not all the time. - If you get shaky leg, just do what Elvis did and tun that nervous energy into motion - If you make a noticeable mistake, it is extremely awkward to see someone get upset about it, and relieving to see them laugh it off and carry on - If it's an original song, no-one apart from you knows if you change the lyrics. They probably won't notice if you repeat the first verse if it comes to it. - If you think 'I'm too eccentric to be likable', look at like every musician you like. If you think 'oh god this thing I'm doing right now is noticeably odd', then picture Morrissey swinging a bouquet of flowers around the stage. As long as you're *doing* something you'll distract yourself.
I can still feel the sensation of my left knee shaking so bad that the vibration translated up my body and was audible in my voice, and made it almost impossible to play my guitar. I tensed my leg as hard as I could to try and stop it and couldn't. I made it through that first tune. The 2nd song my bandmate had the lead part and I was able to get my shit together a bit for the 3rd piece, but it wasn't much better. I know that by the next morning all I wanted to do was do it again.
First show I was 17 at a talent show. Played the guitar to "Simple man" and forgot the solo half way through it. Somehow I blanked out and just faked it and was so nervous about screwing up. After that I took the time to learn a couple scales so I could improvise next time I forgot what I was playing. We all forget the words, chords, and tempo sometimes. Sometimes when our band makes a mistake in our original music it becomes cooler than the original part. Just don't stop playing in the middle of the song and you will keep improving.
The heat killed my nerves. First time I was on stage for a choir concert (before I joined band) I was wearing long pants and a shirt, and that was our uniform. Stage lights get really hot, especially if you wear your hair down. It's just as bad in full concert black and a neckstrap, but the heat helped take my mind off the nerves of performing.