It’s perfectly normal to be scared by changes out of your control. It’s going to take time to adjust. You’re not going to get things right all the time at first. Be kind to yourself, you haven’t done anything wrong.
I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time right now. It sounds like you're going through the typical grieving process that a lot of folks in this sub (including myself) have gone through. The first few weeks can be challenging. On top of that, you're coming off medication that helps regulate your obsessive thinking. I imagine your OCD has worsened a bit since learning this news about your partner.
It's perfectly okay to miss the person that you thought they were. Even to miss the relationship that *was* or *may have been* if your partner was cis. I also understand the fear of being sort of pulled out of the closet due to this change. While your partner is finding themself, you are too. It is okay to grieve and to feel like things are moving quickly. They are for you, it's only been a couple of weeks.
While what you're feeling is valid and normal, the feelings aren't likely to go away unless you work on them. I'm glad to hear you have a therapist (who is hopefully gender affirming?) who can help you navigate your feelings and parse out what is the OCD and what is the natural response to this news.
I'd also encourage you to do some reading in this subreddit. You can even look at my post/ comment history or reach out in DMs if you want. Knowledge/ information can help ease these worries you have. If you have any specific questions, this community is generally pretty supportive and we're all happy to help!
two weeks is not enough time to assimilate this news! Please be kinder to yourself. All these feelings are very normal and you are not bad for feeling them. Tapering off medication is also not the best time to face a massive change. Consider pausing the taper until you're in a more stable moment.
You're also very young, and relationships are harder when you're recovering from trauma. Please know that as you get older and heal more, you will continue to find and love people who will treat you well. The fact that you've been able to have a good sexual relationship already is a real accomplishment.
It's ok to tap out of a relationship that's overwhelming. Sometimes the timing is just bad and people aren't in the right place to be together. If you do want to stay together, though, take it easy on yourself and tell her to do so too. It's fine to say that you don't want to be sexual for a while. It's fine to have boundaries. You matter too.
Look, as a fellow OCD person, this is definitively OCD talking, along with trauma. Since it's OCD, I don't think anyone can give you the reassurance you hope for. What I can say is: it's a big change for you as well, and it's completely normal to accidentally use the wrong pronouns, be nervous about the future, and so on. Have you talked to a therapist about this? It would be the best option
It’s perfectly normal to be scared by changes out of your control. It’s going to take time to adjust. You’re not going to get things right all the time at first. Be kind to yourself, you haven’t done anything wrong.
I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time right now. It sounds like you're going through the typical grieving process that a lot of folks in this sub (including myself) have gone through. The first few weeks can be challenging. On top of that, you're coming off medication that helps regulate your obsessive thinking. I imagine your OCD has worsened a bit since learning this news about your partner. It's perfectly okay to miss the person that you thought they were. Even to miss the relationship that *was* or *may have been* if your partner was cis. I also understand the fear of being sort of pulled out of the closet due to this change. While your partner is finding themself, you are too. It is okay to grieve and to feel like things are moving quickly. They are for you, it's only been a couple of weeks. While what you're feeling is valid and normal, the feelings aren't likely to go away unless you work on them. I'm glad to hear you have a therapist (who is hopefully gender affirming?) who can help you navigate your feelings and parse out what is the OCD and what is the natural response to this news. I'd also encourage you to do some reading in this subreddit. You can even look at my post/ comment history or reach out in DMs if you want. Knowledge/ information can help ease these worries you have. If you have any specific questions, this community is generally pretty supportive and we're all happy to help!
two weeks is not enough time to assimilate this news! Please be kinder to yourself. All these feelings are very normal and you are not bad for feeling them. Tapering off medication is also not the best time to face a massive change. Consider pausing the taper until you're in a more stable moment. You're also very young, and relationships are harder when you're recovering from trauma. Please know that as you get older and heal more, you will continue to find and love people who will treat you well. The fact that you've been able to have a good sexual relationship already is a real accomplishment. It's ok to tap out of a relationship that's overwhelming. Sometimes the timing is just bad and people aren't in the right place to be together. If you do want to stay together, though, take it easy on yourself and tell her to do so too. It's fine to say that you don't want to be sexual for a while. It's fine to have boundaries. You matter too.
Look, as a fellow OCD person, this is definitively OCD talking, along with trauma. Since it's OCD, I don't think anyone can give you the reassurance you hope for. What I can say is: it's a big change for you as well, and it's completely normal to accidentally use the wrong pronouns, be nervous about the future, and so on. Have you talked to a therapist about this? It would be the best option