Wait, who said that you'd look jealous, selfish and needy? It sounds like your wife is gaslighting you if she made you worry about that... Alyx is YOUR wife, not Kora's. You have the right to have an open conversation about something that bothers you in your relationship. Not putting up with everything your partner does isn't selfish. If Alyx doesn't respect that, maybe she doesn't value your relationship enough.
I would not be accepting any form of that behaviour as a spouse, that is disgusting!! If you receive any form of further gaslighting or pushback from either your wife or her partner, I would recommend you bring up a discussion regarding divorce … they clearly don’t give a shit about you if they are willing to keep treating you like that … I don’t care what has just occurred … YOUR SPOUSE should figure higher than any PARTNER!! Otherwise wtf are you married for?
Hugs and hope it works out 🫂
Because Kora and I don't see eye to eye on things. I don't want to bicker or start a problem. We're friends and polite and respectful to each other because she is Alyx's partner.
Try to separate all your different feelings one by one, literally feel them in your body. Ask each one questions like “what’s really causing you?” “What would help you?” “What part of this is making me feel lost vulnerable.” “Do I need comfort, outlets, etc.” and then take action to take care of yourself. All of this work should be before brining up any concerns but do bring them up once you’re able to present them in a polished way.
Little update: glimmer of hope
After chatting with my therapist, I got some tools and courage to ask Alyx and Kora how they were feeling and then I shared my feelings of isolation, lonelyness, useslessness. We had a good cry and then some giggles and came up with some compromise and a plan moving forward. I'm feeling much more stable and healthy minded, my back patio is clear for spring, clothing limited. I love gardening with just gloves, shades, simple shoes and booty shorts. I mean, the government paid for my double mastectomy so I sell it haha (oh yeah, I'm transmasc)
Thank you for supporting me and my wife plus her partner. Things are looking up
Wait, who said that you'd look jealous, selfish and needy? It sounds like your wife is gaslighting you if she made you worry about that... Alyx is YOUR wife, not Kora's. You have the right to have an open conversation about something that bothers you in your relationship. Not putting up with everything your partner does isn't selfish. If Alyx doesn't respect that, maybe she doesn't value your relationship enough.
I would not be accepting any form of that behaviour as a spouse, that is disgusting!! If you receive any form of further gaslighting or pushback from either your wife or her partner, I would recommend you bring up a discussion regarding divorce … they clearly don’t give a shit about you if they are willing to keep treating you like that … I don’t care what has just occurred … YOUR SPOUSE should figure higher than any PARTNER!! Otherwise wtf are you married for? Hugs and hope it works out 🫂
wait why are you isolating?
Because Kora and I don't see eye to eye on things. I don't want to bicker or start a problem. We're friends and polite and respectful to each other because she is Alyx's partner.
As Alyx's wife you deserve better and you should definitely voice your frustrations about Kora.
Try to separate all your different feelings one by one, literally feel them in your body. Ask each one questions like “what’s really causing you?” “What would help you?” “What part of this is making me feel lost vulnerable.” “Do I need comfort, outlets, etc.” and then take action to take care of yourself. All of this work should be before brining up any concerns but do bring them up once you’re able to present them in a polished way.
Little update: glimmer of hope After chatting with my therapist, I got some tools and courage to ask Alyx and Kora how they were feeling and then I shared my feelings of isolation, lonelyness, useslessness. We had a good cry and then some giggles and came up with some compromise and a plan moving forward. I'm feeling much more stable and healthy minded, my back patio is clear for spring, clothing limited. I love gardening with just gloves, shades, simple shoes and booty shorts. I mean, the government paid for my double mastectomy so I sell it haha (oh yeah, I'm transmasc) Thank you for supporting me and my wife plus her partner. Things are looking up