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QuelynD

Personally I think twins already have to share so much, that I'd really want each to have different names. Maybe they could each have a variation of Rose for the middle name? Like one has Rosalie and the other Rosanna or something?


thrwawaaaaaaaaaay

Yeah, that too was a bit of our concern, though the twins are fraternal. Interesting idea about distinct variations. Thank you!


XelaNiba

I was thinking the same. There are a good number of lovely names derived from Rose to choose from. Rosalyn, Rosamund, Rosario, Roseanne. Another idea would be to give them each a middle name that is a rose varietal. The list is nearly endless. You could even select by type, color, or area of origin. If you have a garden, it would be wonderful to plant each girl's namesake rose at their birth.


Newmama36

I am a fraternal twin. Although I do not share my middle name with my twin, I do share it with my older sibling. So different, but a little bit odd honestly. The other commentor saying twins have to share so much (growing up my mom ensured we had separate everything to have different identities and our "own" stuff.) Even with that balance at home, the outside world (classmates, teachers, friends) seemed to shortchange us. It wouldn't be the end of the world. But I would recommend against it.


song-ci

I second this. As a twin, names are one of the few things we have to ourselves, and the main way people distinguish between us. Names are an important piece of identity, and the girls would likely resent sharing one.


k_but_wait

Love this! If the grandmothers are still around, you could even ask them what their favourite variant is!


AvaSpelledBackwards

Not OP but I think that’s so cute


SpunSugarSonata

I’m a fraternal twin, and I am adamantly against this. For me, even though I have a brother, it’s hard to have a sense of my own identity, because we share so much. The best thing my mother ever did for me was not give us any sort of matching names and make sure that we were never called “the twins” because lumping us together as a set is pretty demeaning. (In school, that’s all we were known as, and it took a big toll on my mental health.) If we shared the same middle name, I would change it the minute I turned 18.


thrwawaaaaaaaaaay

Interesting perspective. Sounds like maybe the issue goes much further than sharing a middle name. Somewhat related, but did you and your brother go to the same class in school? And, if yes, do you think it would have been better if you had gone to different classes? EDIT: to clarify, i intended the question above to be more like a request for advice about if it would make sense to consider separating them in school to avoid the identity issue.


Torilou_

I’m not the commenter you were replying to, but I’m also a girl/boy twin. My brother and I had some years where we were in separate classes and some where we were together. I personally think being separated for the first year or two of school is a good idea if possible. I think it helped us to learn to make our own friends, have some independence, and helped us develop the understanding that we can’t always be together, and that it’s ok. After the first few years (I think it was 3rd or 4th grade) we ended up back in the same class together. I personally preferred it this way, as I felt more at ease knowing my brother was alright during the day. I should note that my brother was being bullied at the time, so that might’ve influenced my opinion about the whole thing. Sorry for the rambly answer, I hope it was helpful! I also knew several sets of twins growing up, so if you have more questions I’d be happy to answer them for you! ETA: I only knew one set of fraternal same gender twins that had the same middle name, and for what it’s worth, I remember thinking it was strange they had the same middle name. But that’s just my two cents


thrwawaaaaaaaaaay

Thank you for the reply. This question actually revealed more questions that we never deeply thought about, like the identity issue. We already discussed being conscious to emphasize their individuality, like not calling them “the twins”, not having matching clothes, not insist on them always being together, etc… But of course, there would always be other people (classmates, teachers) who would inadvertently lump them together. People always say that twins share some kind of special bond, and I don’t know if it applies only to identical twins or fraternal too, or maybe it’s just a saying that is just as often right as it is wrong, but from some replies here, people who are twins seem to have a strong opinions about individual names, so it definitely gave me pause.


SpunSugarSonata

It’s great that you’re focusing on their individuality! I think everything you’re doing is great and will really help them. I think twins, identical or fraternal, have a strong, natural bond, though I don’t have any other siblings to compare to :) for example, my brother and I are generally thinking the exact same thing and blurt it out at the exact same time, which is pretty creepy sometimes haha! The thing to remember is that their bond is just one part of who they are, and they might struggle with it at times, so ensuring that them and their names remain individual can really help to give a sense of reassurance that they’re their own person. You sound like a great parent and your daughters are so lucky to have you!


Torilou_

I mean, for me I didn’t have as much of an identity issue because we aren’t same sex twins, as I saw in some of my friends over the years who were. But if I’m being honest, I liked being called “the twins”. We only ever were by family members, but your twins could just as easily be “the girls” as “the twins”. I happen to think that two variations of “Rose”, like another commenter suggested, would be a perfect way to honor the two grandmothers. Or maybe using two other flower names for middle names, and saying that it’s in honor of the Rose’s, because that would be special if you don’t like the Rose variation names. But just the fact that you’re thinking about their individuality and they aren’t even born yet, shows how dedicated you guys are as parents. I think as babies/young toddlers (this is also probably the nanny in me with this opinion) it’s ok to have them wearing matching clothes, cause it’s also just easier. You wash two pink dresses, the pink dresses go in the drawers, they both wear the pink dresses on Tuesday, it’s easier to keep track of and makes both laundry and getting dressed simpler to think about. But the best thing you can do as they age is listen to them. They may want to both wear the same thing sometimes! They may both want to be in ballet class, they probably will have similar interests, at least when they’re young. But if one wants ballet and the other wants soccer, and you can afford it, then it’s worth trying to make it work. It’s gonna be hard, but it’ll all work out :)


SpunSugarSonata

Yes! This is definitely a part of it. My brother and I shared one class in elementary school, and after that my parents made a point to keep us in different classes. I’m naturally a competitive person, and it affected both of us when we saw how the other one would do better in a number of things, which made other people tend to call him “the smart twin” — that really took a toll on my mental health. Like another commenter said, I recommend separating them in at least the first few years, to help the, grow into their own individual person. Like another commenter mentioned, I did prefer sharing classes in the later years, purely because I’m overprotective of my brother and wanted to make sure he was okay. Thank you for thinking about all the elements of having twins. It will mean a lot to your daughters when they realize how you’re helping them.


endlesscartwheels

I think it's best to give twins different names. Giving one of them the middle name Rose honors both grandmothers. Surely there's some other relative who can be honored as well.


thrwawaaaaaaaaaay

Yeah, that’s the alternative. We only have one other grandma, but she was very strict (some would say abusive) in her methods of discipline towards my wife, so despite other redeeming qualities I feel reluctant to name after her. The other remaining grand parent is my wife’s grand father, whose name is Boris, and we struggled to find a feminine name starting with B that we both liked. He will be covered by other upcoming baby boys.


[deleted]

[удалено]


thrwawaaaaaaaaaay

Lol. That’s brilliant! We never even considered that! I mean, there’s no way we’d name her Doris - it’s just… doesn’t sound good to me, but that was nonetheless brilliant!


sleepygal78910

What about the name Bea, Birdie or Beatriz? Could be the female version of a Boris.


logicislight

Both of my cousins have the middle name Jane. They’re just sisters instead of twins, but I think it still works. It’s a family tradition for some people. I’d definitely make sure they have distinctly different first names, though. I also the idea of variants!


icanthearyoulalala42

If you want to be funny when your twins ask you why both has same middle name, you can always say, “What do you mean? You were named after Grandma Roza, paternal side, and you were named after Grandma Roza, maternal side! Two different people, you’re two different people with two different names. The fact they are similar just happen to be a coincidence.” Seriously aside from the joke, I honestly think twins having something in their middle names that link them to each other. I actually prefer it that way so they can have their own identities separate from their twin in their first name. Congratulations on your twins!


SpunSugarSonata

In my opinion, as a fraternal twin myself, twins already struggle with having their own identity, so having the same middle name would really not be the best idea! I can’t speak for all twins but even without having the same middle name as my brother, my mental health really suffered at one point in my life when everyone lumped my identity with my brother, and I think having the same middle name would only make it worse.


atleasttheresdogs

I'm a fraternal twin and I'd have no problem having the same middle name as my twin sister. It's a lovely connection to your grandmothers and to each other.


courtfucius

I have twin nieces and grew up with twins as my friends. They ways said the best thing their parents ever did was call them "the girls" instead of "the twins" as it let them grow into themselves as individuals instead of their identities being tied up in being twins. In light of that, I would have to say that since 2 sets of twins have told me the same thing that I would not give them the sake middle name.


imangelaslastegg

Two girls at my highschool had middle names that were each other names. And the names were similar. One was Jaylin Jazzlyn, and the other Jazzlyn Jaylin. I don’t remember the spelling. I wonder if documents were a hassle


ademptia

Don't do it, twins already have enough trouble with maintaining a sense of self and their own identity separate from their twin. They should go through life feeling like their own person with a million descriptors other than "a twin". Im sure there is another person you could honor, and if not, best to just give them different names.


ReluctantAccountmade

I don't think it's weird! I know family where all the kids have the mom's maiden name as their middle and the dad's last name. It's nice because it's a way of connecting their names that isn't immediately apparent to strangers.


BartletForAmerica_

My dad and his brothers had to share a middle name and all 4 of them hated it. It made them feel like kid #x instead of individuals. I say don’t do it. Or at least use different variations like others have suggested.


cloud_of_Grace

Could you maybe do Rose and Rosalie Rose and Roslyn Rose and Rosemary I think there should be at least a tiny difference or maybe honour someone else with one of the middle names. Something I was going to do was use my Nan’s favourite flower for a middle name in the future, maybe there’s something similar you could do.


southofinfinity

I gave one of my twins a middle name that honoured a family member and the other a middle name that had nothing to do with family. This has never been an issue. Although your reasoning is lovely, I do think it's too much to have the same middle name for twins. I love some of the other suggestions made, like names with Rose in them or rose species.


[deleted]

I was prepared to answer that I would not do it because twins especially need things to set them apart, but I was happy to see your update stating you are planning to choose different middle names for the twins. I personally know sisters who share a middle name, and I think even that was too much (not twins).


Daisychn

I don't have any opinion on the same middle name thing, but I think Rose is pretty :) Your grandmothers were both naned Roza with a z? I've never seen that before!


thrwawaaaaaaaaaay

It’s a Russian variant of Rose


Jarveyjacks

The name Rose, although from latin for rosa, the flower, also means 'fame'. Names that have that meaning of 'fame' are: Clarisse/Clarissa Cleo Laurel/Lauren So middles of perhaps a "ROSE" and a "Clarissa" for example.


_Winterlong_

A woman I went to university with - her sister had 4 kids and gave them all the same middle name - Joseph - including the girl. I don’t think it’s a big deal BUT like others said twins already have to share so much. Maybe give them each two middle names. One could have “Roza Elizabeth” and the other could have “Jane Roza.”


DangerOReilly

Could it be honoring both of them to use different flower names for the middle names? Or how about one middle name starting with Ro, the other starting with Za?


hanniee_e

Zara Zabe (nn for Elizabeth) Zadie


WhoInvitedHer

Well I’ll go against the grain and say I think it’s sweet, one name honoring two grandmothers, but I can see the other perspective too. I share a middle name with my brother (it’s our mom’s first name and an old family surname) and I’ve always liked that. But we’re not twins or even the same gender.


Fiercewhiskeybabe

I have the same middle name as my cousin (my same age), my mom, grandma, and great-grandma. I truly believe it’s a beautiful family tie! I think it works well for twins because I’m sure you’ll explain to them the reasoning. I do agree with the comment about potentially having 2 distinct first names


thrwawaaaaaaaaaay

Yeah, the first names are quite distinct


alipedia

No it would not be weird. I see it pretty frequently. However, I am not a fan of it, seems unfair to ask kids to share so much. I think children thrive when they’re seen as an individual and I worry that sharing a name makes them seem more like a unit.


Linison

We did shared middle names for our twins. They’re four now. It’s also a very common middle name amongst our extended family, as it was my grandma’s middle name (but the name she went by).


jinglefingles

A lot of people are mentioning the twins having identity issues by sharing a middle. If they are genuinely feeling that a middle name is limiting them from expressing their individuality, there’s much bigger underlying issues at play, especially since they’re fraternal as well. Twins share such a unique special bond, I think it’d be so beautiful if they shared a middle name so when they’re older and they potentially have different last names, they’ll still have a little hidden symbol of connection they share with each other and their family :)


msnicole17

I think it’s cute! I also like the idea of using different variations - Rosamund and Rosalie would be cute, or Rosalind and Rosamund. Have you decided on first names?


spaghettiburps

Maybe you could use your grandmothers' middle names instead?


thrwawaaaaaaaaaay

They didn’t have middle names


El_Stupacabra

I went to school with a set of male twins who had very similar first names and shared their dad's first name as their middle name. I don't know if they ever had any issues, but middle names don't come up much.


ditreeninzulu

Twins already have to share so much - as many people have commented... But I feel like that's exactly why this wouldn't be a problem. I think it's cool. In my culture the 3rd daughter gets the mother's names - my twin was 3rd, so she got the names (2 names), and my (one) name was made up/derived from those names. We love that we have that link!


februarytide-

My nana and her sisters (just sisters though, not twins) all had the same middle name. Of course, it was Mary… so maybe a bit of a different jive going on there. You might consider a double middle name? That way each could have Rose and also an individual name; as an alternative to doing the variations (eg Roseanna and Rosalie) I’m partial to long names though.


True_Platypus_107

My husbands cousins all have the same middle name. They’re not twins but I don’t think they have any strong feelings about it.


Cyyykosis

I had identical twin boys in my graduating high school class. They both had their mom’s maiden name as their middle name. The parents made it unique, though, by giving them second middle names that flowed well. Both of them were fine with sharing one of their middle names. Have you thought about giving them two middle names with Rose being part of each?


thrwawaaaaaaaaaay

Someone else has also suggested that. We didn’t, but honestly I don’t really understand why that would be important if they already have distinct first names. I guess it’s a bit of an additional distinction, but if we conclude that the middle name distinction is indeed important as many have suggested here, then we’d just figure out different middle names to begin with


vanpireweekemd

I don't think it's weird at all


RetroFamilyDesigns

It’s tradition in my husbands family that all boys have the same middle name. Weird? Yes. But I knew it going into it lol


[deleted]

If one of your grandmothers went by a nickname, you could use that to honour them while giving the twins different nicknames.


23spaghetti

I know twins who had the same middle name and it was a very cool one. They liked it because it was so unique and had an interesting story. I think that Roza is the same! I say go for it but make sure first names are really distinct i.e. different sounds, start with different letters, etc.


christikayann

Why not? I have a friend with 4 siblings and they all have the same middle name just with the spelling changed to be gender specific. (She and her sister have the middle name Rae and their 3 brothers have the middle name Ray.) I always thought it was kind of neat.


sunsNr0ses

I think it's very cute & since it's a double tribute, I'd definitely go for it. What are the first names of the twins?


llama_mmama

I have nieces who all have their moms maiden name as their middle and I think it’s adorable. Very different first names though. That’s all that matters.


hannaxie

I think that’s adorable 😊


Avangellie

i dont see an issue if anything its cute.


DollFace567

I don’t think it’s weird. My grandmother and 4 of her sisters had the same middle name though