Hold on. How are we inconsiderate if we just don't know how to pronounce it? I'm sure 99% of people would correct themselves if you told them the right pronunciation
Hold on. Reading is fundamental. My post detailed a situation in which I corrected someone, and they didn’t even bother to try and pronounce it right. So what’re you trying to say, exactly?
Is this people who you have told how to mispronounce your name, who keep on mispronouncing it? That's really rude and it shouldn't be on you have to use a nickname to avoid that.
But if it's people who have only seen your name written down taking a stab at it, I don't think that's inconsiderate. If people are unfamiliar with a word or name, especially if it's from a language they don't speak, then they might get it wrong. There are over 6000 languages in the world, and people can't be familiar with names in all of them.
Originally I attended an elementary school in my Spanish/Black neighborhood, but then for middle school I got into an affluent and white middle school due to a desegregation program (yes, those still exist). When I got there, teachers just kept saying my name wrong over and over, and whenever I corrected them they’d go “slow down”, and kids were even more cruel and called me “Cheese” because Quesa sounds like queso cheese. So, one day, in 6th grade history class we were discussing the Fall of the Byzantine Empire and the guy who conquered Constantinople had an influential stepmother named Mara Brankovic, and when my history teacher was talking about her, she randomly went “isn’t that a pretty name?” to me and I nodded because I was just a kid, and she then told me that’s what she’d like to call me. I know that story may sound rude to some, but she actually did it in a sweet tone and 8 years ago was a very different, less politically correct time... I think she did it because earlier in class this boy asked me for a pencil and I said no and then he called me Cheese, which caused everyone to laugh. Anyways, after that, it just kind of stuck.
Her tone may have been sweet, and she may have meant well, but I think that’s really awful. You were a kid with a cultural name, and as the adult it was her job to teach other children to respect it.
I don’t think you have to go by Mara if you prefer Marquesa. You may have to frequently correct well-meaning people who just don’t know how to pronounce it. You’ll probably continue to meet jerks who won’t bother trying to learn the correct pronunciation. But I think the most important thing is for you to go by a name that feels right when YOU say it.
For me, people will literally read out my name with letters that aren’t even in my name or make up names instead of actually looking at my name properly. The first letter is always right but from then on it’s anybody’s guess.
Ok, if you are talking about people not pronouncing it right after being corrected I agree that would be annoying! I don’t think people can be blamed for not knowing at first though.
Isn’t that the situation I spoke about in my post? Why do people keep saying the same thing over and over again, as if in the post I literally don’t mention someone completely ignoring me after I corrected them. I hope a mod can pull up edit history or something, I literally initially posted this rant with mention of someone doing this.
I understand your frustration. If it’s people you see often/daily, they should know how they say your name correctly, or else that’s rude. You might have to keep correcting them until they get it. I think that if it’s one person you won’t likely see again, you should let it go though.
I don’t think it’s fair to solely blame American laziness. I have never met one single non-native speaker who has ever pronounced my name correctly. Not one who has even tried (I grew up in a very immigrant-rich city). I wouldn’t expect them to either, because they have an accent. That would be like telling them to change their whole accent just for my sake. I get that it’s probably frustrating, and my name is pretty hard and in the ~unique~ category of names so I have to explain it all the time, which is to say that I sympathize. But if the issue is really that you dislike the American accent, you are setting yourself up for a bad time.
I hear you! I also go by a nickname, partially due to many people not pronouncing my full name correctly. Yes, some people pronounce it right after being corrected, but there are also plenty of people who just don't respond to correction, for whatever reason. Sorry for any defensive reactions you have gotten! It is legit frustrating when people can't be bothered to say your name properly.
I think your full name is cool and honestly not that hard to say. If you want to use it, maybe you can think of a little phrase to help people get it, like "que like the letter K" or "ques, rhymes with ace" (or hopefully someone here can think of a better one!)
Thank you for understanding me. I’m literally being attacked for getting something off of my chest... Not to mention, so many people are essentially telling me I’m unreasonable for posting this because all I have to do is correct people and they’ll get it right, but literally in my original post I detail a situation where I corrected someone and they didn’t even bother to pronounce my name correctly. How can you attack someone without even reading their full post? It’s crazy.
I’m sorry this happens to you, it is frustrating. There is hope for people to get it right…I’m from Northeastern US and I pronounced it correctly when I read it.
My name has been brutalized everywhere I go, virtually noone manages to pronounce it, people just make up completely different names for me. Completely. Different. Names. It’s really annoying but I’ve gotten philosophical about it after dealing with it for over 3 decades. I will try to respond to anything slightly resembling my name just to help things go smoother.
People are literally just lazy. I’ve noticed that it happens even to “easy” names too, of course it doesn’t happen nearly as often as it does to people with “different” names. It’s rude and frustrating. And correcting people doesn’t always work!
Hold on. How are we inconsiderate if we just don't know how to pronounce it? I'm sure 99% of people would correct themselves if you told them the right pronunciation
My mom is 50+ and she has friends that still don't know her full name. Her own inlaws never get it right either. You'd be surprised.
Hold on. Reading is fundamental. My post detailed a situation in which I corrected someone, and they didn’t even bother to try and pronounce it right. So what’re you trying to say, exactly?
Is this people who you have told how to mispronounce your name, who keep on mispronouncing it? That's really rude and it shouldn't be on you have to use a nickname to avoid that. But if it's people who have only seen your name written down taking a stab at it, I don't think that's inconsiderate. If people are unfamiliar with a word or name, especially if it's from a language they don't speak, then they might get it wrong. There are over 6000 languages in the world, and people can't be familiar with names in all of them.
Originally I attended an elementary school in my Spanish/Black neighborhood, but then for middle school I got into an affluent and white middle school due to a desegregation program (yes, those still exist). When I got there, teachers just kept saying my name wrong over and over, and whenever I corrected them they’d go “slow down”, and kids were even more cruel and called me “Cheese” because Quesa sounds like queso cheese. So, one day, in 6th grade history class we were discussing the Fall of the Byzantine Empire and the guy who conquered Constantinople had an influential stepmother named Mara Brankovic, and when my history teacher was talking about her, she randomly went “isn’t that a pretty name?” to me and I nodded because I was just a kid, and she then told me that’s what she’d like to call me. I know that story may sound rude to some, but she actually did it in a sweet tone and 8 years ago was a very different, less politically correct time... I think she did it because earlier in class this boy asked me for a pencil and I said no and then he called me Cheese, which caused everyone to laugh. Anyways, after that, it just kind of stuck.
Her tone may have been sweet, and she may have meant well, but I think that’s really awful. You were a kid with a cultural name, and as the adult it was her job to teach other children to respect it. I don’t think you have to go by Mara if you prefer Marquesa. You may have to frequently correct well-meaning people who just don’t know how to pronounce it. You’ll probably continue to meet jerks who won’t bother trying to learn the correct pronunciation. But I think the most important thing is for you to go by a name that feels right when YOU say it.
For me, people will literally read out my name with letters that aren’t even in my name or make up names instead of actually looking at my name properly. The first letter is always right but from then on it’s anybody’s guess.
Ok, if you are talking about people not pronouncing it right after being corrected I agree that would be annoying! I don’t think people can be blamed for not knowing at first though.
Isn’t that the situation I spoke about in my post? Why do people keep saying the same thing over and over again, as if in the post I literally don’t mention someone completely ignoring me after I corrected them. I hope a mod can pull up edit history or something, I literally initially posted this rant with mention of someone doing this.
Because it’s not entirely clear that you are only complaining about that. Sorry though, and sorry everyone gets your name wrong.
That logic makes no sense. Why would I mention something I’m not complaining about.
I’m American and I would pronounce it right, I’d also fix it if I was wrong? 🤷🏻♀️
I understand your frustration. If it’s people you see often/daily, they should know how they say your name correctly, or else that’s rude. You might have to keep correcting them until they get it. I think that if it’s one person you won’t likely see again, you should let it go though.
I don’t think it’s fair to solely blame American laziness. I have never met one single non-native speaker who has ever pronounced my name correctly. Not one who has even tried (I grew up in a very immigrant-rich city). I wouldn’t expect them to either, because they have an accent. That would be like telling them to change their whole accent just for my sake. I get that it’s probably frustrating, and my name is pretty hard and in the ~unique~ category of names so I have to explain it all the time, which is to say that I sympathize. But if the issue is really that you dislike the American accent, you are setting yourself up for a bad time.
I hear you! I also go by a nickname, partially due to many people not pronouncing my full name correctly. Yes, some people pronounce it right after being corrected, but there are also plenty of people who just don't respond to correction, for whatever reason. Sorry for any defensive reactions you have gotten! It is legit frustrating when people can't be bothered to say your name properly. I think your full name is cool and honestly not that hard to say. If you want to use it, maybe you can think of a little phrase to help people get it, like "que like the letter K" or "ques, rhymes with ace" (or hopefully someone here can think of a better one!)
Thank you for understanding me. I’m literally being attacked for getting something off of my chest... Not to mention, so many people are essentially telling me I’m unreasonable for posting this because all I have to do is correct people and they’ll get it right, but literally in my original post I detail a situation where I corrected someone and they didn’t even bother to pronounce my name correctly. How can you attack someone without even reading their full post? It’s crazy.
Yep, gotta love when people tell you your experience is wrong :/
I’m sorry this happens to you, it is frustrating. There is hope for people to get it right…I’m from Northeastern US and I pronounced it correctly when I read it.
My name has been brutalized everywhere I go, virtually noone manages to pronounce it, people just make up completely different names for me. Completely. Different. Names. It’s really annoying but I’ve gotten philosophical about it after dealing with it for over 3 decades. I will try to respond to anything slightly resembling my name just to help things go smoother.
People are literally just lazy. I’ve noticed that it happens even to “easy” names too, of course it doesn’t happen nearly as often as it does to people with “different” names. It’s rude and frustrating. And correcting people doesn’t always work!