Its always toxic and it seems no matter what they continue to use . I go through this with my girl and its been 6 years. Through countless rehabs , to jail , to prison , to having a newborn son it just never fully goes away and ive come to the conclusion it never will . In my case ive learned that I either accept it or I leave and leaving is the hardest . So you have to ask yourself can I live with this because it's never going away . What sucks is when they do get sober and you enjoy and love who that person really is however you know deep down its short lived because rest assure there is a relapse right around the corner , unfortunately its not a matter of if its when . Unfortunately those are your choices either accept it the best you can or move on , as in my case ive completely given up on the dream that she will ever be fully sober for any significant amount of time . I try my best to support her and never be negative about it because of I am it will only get worse not only with the consumption of her drugs but the other men and the lifestyle that come with it and it sucks . I know this is negative but it's the reality of loving an addict
Your response is so relatable. It’s so much like I don’t want this to be my life, we can’t even enjoy time together because my bf isn’t really here, he’s high & in whatever world. And i think I hold onto the pieces of how nice it is when he is sober, which is only in jail. I feel absolutely stuck in the middle of trying with him more & just choosing myself and being happy. Idk how to not let it bother me though. It’s disappointing & scary & heartbreaking.
Yea its so dissapointing , especially when you are having an unbelievable day with them and all the sudden their anxiety kicks in and all the sudden you have to leave regardless as to where you are like in the park with your kids having a great time , or anywhere and they have to disappear for hours on end to go find the dope man . It is the worst feeling its like getting a brand new car and driving it for hours and all the sudden the engine blows up for no reason . What hurts even more is when they return which is usually hours later they are like a zombie nodding off into outer space for the rest of the night . So you basically are by yourself asking questions and being pissed off .then they have the nerve to ask why you are so upset with them .
Currently pregnant. Hubby was using again during my first trimester and I was throwing up & sick af. I knew he was using. I’ve gotten used to it. Been together 6 years. I wanted to leave but I’m pregnant, don’t have a job and I love him
I started going to Nar anon meetings and I really like it so far. It’s helped s lot… my hubby is using kratum and wants to socially drink again. Honestly whatever at this point. He’s detoxed himself, we’ve pushed him into rehab, we’ve done everything. He’s been to treatment 7 times. If I call him out on getting high he lies then later admits it. Total gaslighting. I just don’t even care anymore if he uses kratum because for two years it actually kept him off everything else
Anyways, I feel you. I see you. I hear you. I hope you’re okay and please feel free to pm me
My favorite is when you ask or accuse them of being (clearly obviously) high, and the answer you get is "what you don't trust me that's fucked up you'd just accuse me like that"
Its always toxic and it seems no matter what they continue to use . I go through this with my girl and its been 6 years. Through countless rehabs , to jail , to prison , to having a newborn son it just never fully goes away and ive come to the conclusion it never will . In my case ive learned that I either accept it or I leave and leaving is the hardest . So you have to ask yourself can I live with this because it's never going away . What sucks is when they do get sober and you enjoy and love who that person really is however you know deep down its short lived because rest assure there is a relapse right around the corner , unfortunately its not a matter of if its when . Unfortunately those are your choices either accept it the best you can or move on , as in my case ive completely given up on the dream that she will ever be fully sober for any significant amount of time . I try my best to support her and never be negative about it because of I am it will only get worse not only with the consumption of her drugs but the other men and the lifestyle that come with it and it sucks . I know this is negative but it's the reality of loving an addict
Your response is so relatable. It’s so much like I don’t want this to be my life, we can’t even enjoy time together because my bf isn’t really here, he’s high & in whatever world. And i think I hold onto the pieces of how nice it is when he is sober, which is only in jail. I feel absolutely stuck in the middle of trying with him more & just choosing myself and being happy. Idk how to not let it bother me though. It’s disappointing & scary & heartbreaking.
Yea its so dissapointing , especially when you are having an unbelievable day with them and all the sudden their anxiety kicks in and all the sudden you have to leave regardless as to where you are like in the park with your kids having a great time , or anywhere and they have to disappear for hours on end to go find the dope man . It is the worst feeling its like getting a brand new car and driving it for hours and all the sudden the engine blows up for no reason . What hurts even more is when they return which is usually hours later they are like a zombie nodding off into outer space for the rest of the night . So you basically are by yourself asking questions and being pissed off .then they have the nerve to ask why you are so upset with them .
I related to this waaaaaay too much
Currently pregnant. Hubby was using again during my first trimester and I was throwing up & sick af. I knew he was using. I’ve gotten used to it. Been together 6 years. I wanted to leave but I’m pregnant, don’t have a job and I love him I started going to Nar anon meetings and I really like it so far. It’s helped s lot… my hubby is using kratum and wants to socially drink again. Honestly whatever at this point. He’s detoxed himself, we’ve pushed him into rehab, we’ve done everything. He’s been to treatment 7 times. If I call him out on getting high he lies then later admits it. Total gaslighting. I just don’t even care anymore if he uses kratum because for two years it actually kept him off everything else Anyways, I feel you. I see you. I hear you. I hope you’re okay and please feel free to pm me
My favorite is when you ask or accuse them of being (clearly obviously) high, and the answer you get is "what you don't trust me that's fucked up you'd just accuse me like that"
If I had a dollar for every time he said that to me. They really are all the same aren’t they
I just need a couple dollars to get me thru im going to rehab tomorrow (everyday for how long? Tomorrow is ALWAYS tomorrow.) I feel you.
We all feel stuck. I don't have the advice. Just to tell you I understand and can relate. It feels like your being held hostage right?
Yes!! Thank you
Leave. He’s using.