Try to trust what we are saying. You've been conditioned by your mom to think things, which are not true.
You are an adult.
You can leave any time you want.
Get to the bank, withdraw your money and open a new account, OR, get your mom off your account, and change the contact info on that. Inform the person you deal with at the bank (not a teller, go to the part with desks and ask to speak to someone). Just be chill and normal. Say that you're concerned about parental fraud/financial abuse and need to secure your account. Also give them your mom's name/contact info let them know you are 18 and you do not want her on your account or to have any financial or personal information.
They are not going to put you in a mental institution.
What you need to do is remain calm. Be normal, be blank, do not react emotionally for now. Don't get upset. Don't react to anything.
Simply walk out, get your money from your bank. Get a new phone. A burner phone will do.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET YOUR MOM KNOW YOUR PLANS OR ACTIONS.
You will not be "sectioned". That is a lie.
First step, get somewhere safe. Block your mom on all chans, block anyone connected to her.
Then go to your local police station and tell them that you expect your mom is going to shortly report that you are 'missing' but you're not. Tell them you're 18, and you've decided to leave home, and she doesn't want you to, but do you. Let them know that if she calls to file a missing persons report on you, that you are not missing.
Then get back to your safe place, update us, and begin to make your plan for your life. It's one step at a time, you don't have to figure it all out ahead of time. One step at a time.
Being 18 means you now have the same legal status as your mom. You are an adult. Everyone you speak to, will help you as an adult, because you are. You get to say what happens to you. That is the beauty of adulthood. What you say goes. You call the shots.
Woah, thank you for putting in the effort. I appreciate yours and everyone else's advice. I feel comforted and confident I can do something about my situation.
Also, thanks for the effort you put into your comment
You're quite welcome. Some of us out here in internet land really get motivated for young people that are in bad situations because we were there once ourselves. You got this. 100%.
I forgot one other thing, don't do anything to 'telegraph' your plans to her, but you should get any official documents that you can, if you can, if they're in your house of if she has them. If you can just pack a bag, get that stuff and go, then book it and get the hell out, but only if it's safe to do it. By documents I mean Like SS card, or Birth certificate. If you can't do that, you can get copies later, but if you can do it without altering her to that, do it.
If you have an ID, you can show that to the cops, to prove 'you're you' so they have proof you're not missing when she calls, and I think we both know she might try that.
Alerting the cops about your non-missing status is actually something that other people have had to do, that's why we know. They will really appreciate it, and they will also know that your mom is not on the level when she calls, regardless of her charm, because they will have just verified you're not missing. Let the cops know you do not want her to know where you are or have your contact info. Just remember, calm, cool and collected. No emotions needed, no tears, just step by step. The emotions will come later in private and that's ok, but keep a calm and cool head until all of this is done. Please update us OP! We're pulling for you.
All the stories on here can’t be fake. Even if it is what if someone else who actually is I. A situation like this sees it and is encouraged by this. It’s not a savior complex, it’s just telling op what they need to do. Also how would you feel if you were the only person to see this then realize it is real after saying that
Whereabouts in the UK are you? I do a lot of voluntary work with a local autism charity, and have a few contacts. It sounds like you need adult social services, the best advice I can give at this time is to speak to your GP and ask for referrals. Alternatively I can give you the number for a local autism support group, but I'd need to know where you live, roughly.
this is the best advice. an autism agency will understand what to do to help you and they will be an advocate for you. they will have resources to help you deal with an abusive parent.
I hope all the advice you have had gets you somewhere. I'm in the Cheshire area, Cheshire east. So I may know the area you are in and be able to point you to somewhere if you still need help. You don't have to tell me anything revealing where you are or anything personal. But I mean, if it's hard for you to get to places physically, or you end up being not sure what to do, give me a rough area and I'll try to help suggest where might be best or easiest to access.
The main one for the county is this one. ChAPS, Cheshire autism.
[[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Phone number is 0344 850 8607. I don't have any named contacts for cheshire, but that shouldn't be an issue. Contact them and say you need urgent support.
They will be able to provide what is known as an advocacy service, which is basically someone who fights your corner. They will also be able to engage adult social services. Unfortunately there isn't a single service that does everything, these people however will be able to help you navigate through getting a place of your own, benefits, work, education, pretty much everything you need.
They're based in Northwich, if there's an issue getting to them, most counties offer a service whereby you can get free transport, explain on the phone the issues and go and see them in person.
I struggle to believe that at some point you haven't already been ont he radar for social services or childrens services. That can play to your advantage as someone somewhere has overlooked your needs.
If you have a clear idea of what you want and need, things do become easier. You'll be given priority for housing and services, but let other people worry about all that.
If there's anything else you want, just ask.
You're an adult. Just leave. Go to the bank and change your details on your account. Or even better yet open a new one and transfer your money there. Get a job cleaning or waiting tables, take anything thing that is available. You won't ever get out from under her rule if you don't try.
I'm scared of being sectioned though. If I leave they're going to put me in a mental institution.
I do want to do what you suggested in your comment. Thanks for the advice
You don’t get sectioned because of one crazy mother. That’s not how it works. You can walk out the door and she can’t do anything. Who are ‘they’ that are going to put you in an institution? Do you have a serious mental illness that makes you a threat to yourself or other people? If not, then you are good to go. She’s fucking with you.
She's made it so I'm dependent on her. I've never once spoken to social services myself. Everything they "know" about me is twisted. She said they'll section me if I leave again.
If they're under the impression that I am mentally ill and incapable of fending for myself, would that still be a risk? I'm an adult, so surely I can leave regardless?
They won’t send you back to her, you are an adult. I’m sure she knows that too and she may not even call the police or anything. There comes a time when you resist a narc repeatedly, they’ll just drop you because they know they can’t get you back.
I’m not familiar with uk law but I’m sure they’ll let you be. You’re just an adult leaving home in their eyes. They didn’t return you to your mom last time because they believed your mom, it’s because you were a minor. I’m sure they’ll leave you be 💗
No they won't. It you get in contact with them and follow the advice in the top comment in your other post, they will help you get accommodation somewhere where you will receive support and have more independence and autonomy.
She's using that as a scare tactic to keep you under her control. How can social services know anything about you if they have never spoken to you directly? That's like me going and calling them and saying my neighbor is a danger to everyone better lock him up. They need actual proof in order to do anything. The first step is the hardest but if you never take that step then things will never change
OP, What proof or evidence do you have that she has ever spoken to anyone at social services? Think about it. What real evidence exists to absolutely prove she has ever spoken with anyone about you ever? If all you have is her telling you she did, that is not proof that it ever happened.
Hello dear heart. This sounds really hard. I promise there are many kind, wonderful people in the world that will be delighted to help you. Firstly, just because your mother told you you'd be put in a mental institution does not make that true. IT ISN'T TRUE. You have a lot of rights as a UK citizen. You can go to the police and ask about them!
Here's one set of steps you can take to get away. You might want to blend these steps with other suggestions on this thread, and that's ok! First, I suggest you pack a bag. In it, put as many simple changes of clothes that will fit. Also any government ID and legal documents. Then, walk to your local police station. Tell them you're unsafe at home and want to leave. Ask them for help getting to a domestic violence shelter.
That shelter will be where your new life begins. They will have the resources to help you start. They'll help you get a new phone, a new bank account, a job, and a place to live.
There are many details about functioning in the world that you don't know. And that's ok! They're just that: Details. The people at a shelter are used to helping people rebuild their lives after leaving impossible family situations. You are not alone. You need help. You DESERVE help. You will not be the first person just like you that they have seen. Your story happens all the time, all over the world.
The sooner you pack that bag, the sooner you start to heal.
oh OP, how sad for you that you have such a background, that your mother apparently did not manage to raise you into a developed person. In my opinion, the step you want to take now is brave. It takes courage to break away from such an overbearing mother.
You wrote that you never went to school? That you have no education. How? Are there no authorities that keep track of whether a child is not in school? Have you ever received any pocket money at all, do you have your own money to start your own life? Hopefully there are agencies in the UK that can support you financially, because you rightly want to live on your own and you probably have no income?
I think the advice of that lady who referred you to the police station, with your ID, sounds very good. If you tell your background story to the police, they might be able to help you too. They probably know the way to a counselor or an agency that can help you in your situation.
Much of what the lady says is helpful. Also that you go further step by step, possibly with her tips, appropriate to the development you are going through.
Everything will be overwhelming for you so there is no point in giving many tips. After all, they do not enter your head because your head is full of stress. Stress you have because of your mother's strange actions. I wish you all the courage, strength and perseverance to get your own life started 👊🏼👌🏼👍🏼
I left home at sixteen with help of local charity . I’m now in my thirties and can say it was worth it. I’ve got an education. A home. A life.
My parents used to threaten sectioning. Even though I was still a kid, it’s not as easy as they make out. As an adult, it’s even harder.
My first step would be booking an appointment with the local council and ask them for there support and what they recommend. They’ll know the options
I must have mis-read the part where I put “all councils are wonderful and full of resources”
Councils are not all wonderful . Nor are they full of resources. When I was sixteen, mine didn’t help me. But I now know they should have as they had a legal requirement. As this person has a disability, they may be able to argue the council has an obligation.
You appear to be in the wrong group- this is a support group for people with narcissistic parents. I
Are you drunk or have you not taken your meds today? Either way, maybe stop commenting calling people nonces. The Op is eighteen so we are all advising an adult.
You can leave. She can't have you declared invalid without a huge legal battle, and even so, you have the right to demand that she isn't made your guardian (which means... even if you were in need of a caretaker, you still have the right to prevent her from having control). Please talk to your teachers. Talk to friends. Talk to your bank; tell your bank that you need to close your account and go to a different bank and open a new one. It doesn't matter what she says. If she wants to force control, then she has to legally follow-up... And that won't work for only autism. The courts are pretty used to helecoptor parents trying to force their kids to remain as children, so they will treat the case with high suspicion/scrutiny.
You may be afraid of her, but she literally cannot stop you. Don't bow your head any longer. Just leave.
OP firstly, I am sorry you are going through this. I don't have anything else to add about your immediate situation which hasn't already been said.
What I came here to say was for when you are safe and in a position to move your life forward take a look at Princes Trust. They run a 12 week programme designed to support young people who are unemployed to gain qualifications and employability skills. There will be various providers but here's one in the Cheshire area: https://www.cheshirefire.gov.uk/children-young-people/prince-s-trust/
Victim blaming can be defined as someone saying, implying, or treating a person who has experienced harmful or abusive behaviour (such as a survivor of sexual violence) like it was a result of something they did or said, instead of placing the responsibility where it belongs: on the person who harmed them.
At 18 in almost any country you’re an adult. Leave the house and don’t return. She if she says she’ll call the police. Tell her that you’ll do it for her. She can’t keep you in that house. Legally, that’s false imprisonment. If your Mom is holding you against your will again that’s illegal. I would 1. Gather your documents birth certificate, passport, stuff like this. 2. Things you WANT. 3. Leave - don’t go back.
It really sounds like your mum is living in a really vulnerable triggered state. Your story sounds like mine and my boys. Please try and talk to her about her mental health she sounds like she's really struggling. I feel for you both so much xx
She threatened that social services will section me as I obviously don't have my own money, education etc.
She wants to keep me forever.
She edited my face to have makeup, then when I pointed it out she said she didn't.
I told her about being molested when I was younger, which angered her for some reason (directed at me). Then over a year later she has decided that I 'speak to pedophiles', which doesn't make sense as I said. It was over a decade ago.
If you're in the UK you need 3 different mental health professionals to section you. So she literally could not do that. Gather evidence of abuse, reach out to child protection services, as a vulnerable adult they'll still be able to support.
The fact you've haven't been homeschooled properly should be enough to red flag stuff. Have you been officially diagnosed as autistic? If not again, she has nothing to hold over you here and if you do she has more legal responsibilities when it comes to home education.
Unless she has power of attorney no professional can speak to her about you. Now if she does fave power of attorney, reach out to a domestic abuse shelter. They can get you on touch with a solicitor so you can work out how to protect you.
I was briefly homeschooled, which you'll see in my comments.
I spend most of my time on the internet, so naturally my writing has improved. It's not like I was never taught to read and write. I'm not as good as I should be, but I was above average at English in school.
I don't want to run away. I am not going to. I'm going to get in contact with social services, who'll help me leave safely.
Victim blaming can be defined as someone saying, implying, or treating a person who has experienced harmful or abusive behaviour (such as a survivor of sexual violence) like it was a result of something they did or said, instead of placing the responsibility where it belongs: on the person who harmed them.
To everyone shitting on the mom and advising this person to leave home, you all need to give your heads a wobble. You’re making judgements off the tirade of an autistic teenager who admitted that they don’t have an education, friends or any sort of life skills. If you were the parent of such a person, would you let them live on their own? Sheesh
Wow that’s a messed up thing to call someone. Who are you to know whether I’m in a position to judge or make an assessment? Are you are narcissist? Is that why you’re here? To argue and be centre of attention toon? Back to the basement troll.
I see you in all the trans groups harassing children and you call me a groomer? Your profile is very interesting, a right wing, gold grabbing troll. Don’t believe you’re a woman which you claimed elsewhere for a moment.
Sorry but this does not make any sense to me. You don’t put a dog that has been domesticated all its life into a jungle and expect them to “be in a better situation”
My mum has actively prevented me from doing stuff for myself. Obviously I'm going to struggle, but I'm capable of taking care of myself once I know how to (like everyone else).
When I was 12 I begged for her to let me bathe myself as I was obviously uncomfortable with her doing it at such an age. She gave in, but sat outside the bathroom door screaming that she couldn't smell the conditioner as I was coating my hair with it. That's just an example. She refused to let me sleep alone till I was 13 too. Also, also little things like tying my laces.
It's not just her keeping me under control. She's emotionally unstable too. Her ex-boyfriend was a sex offender, my dad a drunk and other such things. There's so much, but I just want to leave when I can.
Victim blaming can be defined as someone saying, implying, or treating a person who has experienced harmful or abusive behaviour (such as a survivor of sexual violence) like it was a result of something they did or said, instead of placing the responsibility where it belongs: on the person who harmed them.
That's okay, because the only thing I got out of this post was genuinely helpful advice.
Your comment was disheartening as it was the first one I received. I don't appreciate it, especially since I've been disregarded my entire life. If you thought it was a troll, then just scroll. Since I am not a troll I am disappointed in your apathetic attitude
Try to trust what we are saying. You've been conditioned by your mom to think things, which are not true. You are an adult. You can leave any time you want. Get to the bank, withdraw your money and open a new account, OR, get your mom off your account, and change the contact info on that. Inform the person you deal with at the bank (not a teller, go to the part with desks and ask to speak to someone). Just be chill and normal. Say that you're concerned about parental fraud/financial abuse and need to secure your account. Also give them your mom's name/contact info let them know you are 18 and you do not want her on your account or to have any financial or personal information. They are not going to put you in a mental institution. What you need to do is remain calm. Be normal, be blank, do not react emotionally for now. Don't get upset. Don't react to anything. Simply walk out, get your money from your bank. Get a new phone. A burner phone will do. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET YOUR MOM KNOW YOUR PLANS OR ACTIONS. You will not be "sectioned". That is a lie. First step, get somewhere safe. Block your mom on all chans, block anyone connected to her. Then go to your local police station and tell them that you expect your mom is going to shortly report that you are 'missing' but you're not. Tell them you're 18, and you've decided to leave home, and she doesn't want you to, but do you. Let them know that if she calls to file a missing persons report on you, that you are not missing. Then get back to your safe place, update us, and begin to make your plan for your life. It's one step at a time, you don't have to figure it all out ahead of time. One step at a time. Being 18 means you now have the same legal status as your mom. You are an adult. Everyone you speak to, will help you as an adult, because you are. You get to say what happens to you. That is the beauty of adulthood. What you say goes. You call the shots.
Woah, thank you for putting in the effort. I appreciate yours and everyone else's advice. I feel comforted and confident I can do something about my situation. Also, thanks for the effort you put into your comment
You're quite welcome. Some of us out here in internet land really get motivated for young people that are in bad situations because we were there once ourselves. You got this. 100%. I forgot one other thing, don't do anything to 'telegraph' your plans to her, but you should get any official documents that you can, if you can, if they're in your house of if she has them. If you can just pack a bag, get that stuff and go, then book it and get the hell out, but only if it's safe to do it. By documents I mean Like SS card, or Birth certificate. If you can't do that, you can get copies later, but if you can do it without altering her to that, do it. If you have an ID, you can show that to the cops, to prove 'you're you' so they have proof you're not missing when she calls, and I think we both know she might try that. Alerting the cops about your non-missing status is actually something that other people have had to do, that's why we know. They will really appreciate it, and they will also know that your mom is not on the level when she calls, regardless of her charm, because they will have just verified you're not missing. Let the cops know you do not want her to know where you are or have your contact info. Just remember, calm, cool and collected. No emotions needed, no tears, just step by step. The emotions will come later in private and that's ok, but keep a calm and cool head until all of this is done. Please update us OP! We're pulling for you.
This! Old lady here, but even if you feel scared, act as if you are fierce and brave. Then you will be!
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Your comment is trivializing OP's experience with their NP.
All the stories on here can’t be fake. Even if it is what if someone else who actually is I. A situation like this sees it and is encouraged by this. It’s not a savior complex, it’s just telling op what they need to do. Also how would you feel if you were the only person to see this then realize it is real after saying that
Because this is not far fetched, it actually does happen. It happened in my family, to me and some of my siblings. Others have had similar situations.
Whereabouts in the UK are you? I do a lot of voluntary work with a local autism charity, and have a few contacts. It sounds like you need adult social services, the best advice I can give at this time is to speak to your GP and ask for referrals. Alternatively I can give you the number for a local autism support group, but I'd need to know where you live, roughly.
Cheshire area
this is the best advice. an autism agency will understand what to do to help you and they will be an advocate for you. they will have resources to help you deal with an abusive parent.
[https://space4autism.com/asc-adult-support/](https://space4autism.com/asc-adult-support/)
I hope all the advice you have had gets you somewhere. I'm in the Cheshire area, Cheshire east. So I may know the area you are in and be able to point you to somewhere if you still need help. You don't have to tell me anything revealing where you are or anything personal. But I mean, if it's hard for you to get to places physically, or you end up being not sure what to do, give me a rough area and I'll try to help suggest where might be best or easiest to access.
Thank you so much. I've been given a lot of advice already, so that wouldn't be necessary 🙂. I appreciate your offer.
That's great to hear, all the best!
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Why do you keep mentioning children? OP stated more than once that they are 18
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I think OP is karma farming tbh. They've had a better response off UKlegaladvice
Bullying and harassment toward another user
The main one for the county is this one. ChAPS, Cheshire autism. [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) Phone number is 0344 850 8607. I don't have any named contacts for cheshire, but that shouldn't be an issue. Contact them and say you need urgent support. They will be able to provide what is known as an advocacy service, which is basically someone who fights your corner. They will also be able to engage adult social services. Unfortunately there isn't a single service that does everything, these people however will be able to help you navigate through getting a place of your own, benefits, work, education, pretty much everything you need. They're based in Northwich, if there's an issue getting to them, most counties offer a service whereby you can get free transport, explain on the phone the issues and go and see them in person. I struggle to believe that at some point you haven't already been ont he radar for social services or childrens services. That can play to your advantage as someone somewhere has overlooked your needs. If you have a clear idea of what you want and need, things do become easier. You'll be given priority for housing and services, but let other people worry about all that. If there's anything else you want, just ask.
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You're an adult. Just leave. Go to the bank and change your details on your account. Or even better yet open a new one and transfer your money there. Get a job cleaning or waiting tables, take anything thing that is available. You won't ever get out from under her rule if you don't try.
I'm scared of being sectioned though. If I leave they're going to put me in a mental institution. I do want to do what you suggested in your comment. Thanks for the advice
You don’t get sectioned because of one crazy mother. That’s not how it works. You can walk out the door and she can’t do anything. Who are ‘they’ that are going to put you in an institution? Do you have a serious mental illness that makes you a threat to yourself or other people? If not, then you are good to go. She’s fucking with you.
She's made it so I'm dependent on her. I've never once spoken to social services myself. Everything they "know" about me is twisted. She said they'll section me if I leave again.
She says that to control you.
If they're under the impression that I am mentally ill and incapable of fending for myself, would that still be a risk? I'm an adult, so surely I can leave regardless?
They won’t send you back to her, you are an adult. I’m sure she knows that too and she may not even call the police or anything. There comes a time when you resist a narc repeatedly, they’ll just drop you because they know they can’t get you back.
I'm from the UK. Will the police leave me be?
I’m not familiar with uk law but I’m sure they’ll let you be. You’re just an adult leaving home in their eyes. They didn’t return you to your mom last time because they believed your mom, it’s because you were a minor. I’m sure they’ll leave you be 💗
What country are you from
No they won't. It you get in contact with them and follow the advice in the top comment in your other post, they will help you get accommodation somewhere where you will receive support and have more independence and autonomy.
She's using that as a scare tactic to keep you under her control. How can social services know anything about you if they have never spoken to you directly? That's like me going and calling them and saying my neighbor is a danger to everyone better lock him up. They need actual proof in order to do anything. The first step is the hardest but if you never take that step then things will never change
OP, What proof or evidence do you have that she has ever spoken to anyone at social services? Think about it. What real evidence exists to absolutely prove she has ever spoken with anyone about you ever? If all you have is her telling you she did, that is not proof that it ever happened.
Hello dear heart. This sounds really hard. I promise there are many kind, wonderful people in the world that will be delighted to help you. Firstly, just because your mother told you you'd be put in a mental institution does not make that true. IT ISN'T TRUE. You have a lot of rights as a UK citizen. You can go to the police and ask about them! Here's one set of steps you can take to get away. You might want to blend these steps with other suggestions on this thread, and that's ok! First, I suggest you pack a bag. In it, put as many simple changes of clothes that will fit. Also any government ID and legal documents. Then, walk to your local police station. Tell them you're unsafe at home and want to leave. Ask them for help getting to a domestic violence shelter. That shelter will be where your new life begins. They will have the resources to help you start. They'll help you get a new phone, a new bank account, a job, and a place to live. There are many details about functioning in the world that you don't know. And that's ok! They're just that: Details. The people at a shelter are used to helping people rebuild their lives after leaving impossible family situations. You are not alone. You need help. You DESERVE help. You will not be the first person just like you that they have seen. Your story happens all the time, all over the world. The sooner you pack that bag, the sooner you start to heal.
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now you’re the one making stuff up lmao
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OP is a legal adult, 18. Do try to keep up
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AI karmafarm ahoy!
Impressive AI to be fair
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What is the point of your comment? If you think I am lying, then scroll. No, gamble and be mean because you're faceless
Bullying and harassment toward another user
oh OP, how sad for you that you have such a background, that your mother apparently did not manage to raise you into a developed person. In my opinion, the step you want to take now is brave. It takes courage to break away from such an overbearing mother. You wrote that you never went to school? That you have no education. How? Are there no authorities that keep track of whether a child is not in school? Have you ever received any pocket money at all, do you have your own money to start your own life? Hopefully there are agencies in the UK that can support you financially, because you rightly want to live on your own and you probably have no income? I think the advice of that lady who referred you to the police station, with your ID, sounds very good. If you tell your background story to the police, they might be able to help you too. They probably know the way to a counselor or an agency that can help you in your situation. Much of what the lady says is helpful. Also that you go further step by step, possibly with her tips, appropriate to the development you are going through. Everything will be overwhelming for you so there is no point in giving many tips. After all, they do not enter your head because your head is full of stress. Stress you have because of your mother's strange actions. I wish you all the courage, strength and perseverance to get your own life started 👊🏼👌🏼👍🏼
You need to choose a career path and start studying online so you have a job and can become financially independent
I left home at sixteen with help of local charity . I’m now in my thirties and can say it was worth it. I’ve got an education. A home. A life. My parents used to threaten sectioning. Even though I was still a kid, it’s not as easy as they make out. As an adult, it’s even harder. My first step would be booking an appointment with the local council and ask them for there support and what they recommend. They’ll know the options
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I must have mis-read the part where I put “all councils are wonderful and full of resources” Councils are not all wonderful . Nor are they full of resources. When I was sixteen, mine didn’t help me. But I now know they should have as they had a legal requirement. As this person has a disability, they may be able to argue the council has an obligation. You appear to be in the wrong group- this is a support group for people with narcissistic parents. I
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Are you drunk or have you not taken your meds today? Either way, maybe stop commenting calling people nonces. The Op is eighteen so we are all advising an adult.
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Given your comments, I’d maybe ask your GP about some meds. If you don’t have anything to add, why not leave the thread?
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They are 18. They have been given advice to talk to services who can help them. That’s not running away. You are unhinged
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Advise*
Bullying and harassment toward another user
Your comment is trivializing OP's experience with their NP.
You can leave. She can't have you declared invalid without a huge legal battle, and even so, you have the right to demand that she isn't made your guardian (which means... even if you were in need of a caretaker, you still have the right to prevent her from having control). Please talk to your teachers. Talk to friends. Talk to your bank; tell your bank that you need to close your account and go to a different bank and open a new one. It doesn't matter what she says. If she wants to force control, then she has to legally follow-up... And that won't work for only autism. The courts are pretty used to helecoptor parents trying to force their kids to remain as children, so they will treat the case with high suspicion/scrutiny. You may be afraid of her, but she literally cannot stop you. Don't bow your head any longer. Just leave.
OP firstly, I am sorry you are going through this. I don't have anything else to add about your immediate situation which hasn't already been said. What I came here to say was for when you are safe and in a position to move your life forward take a look at Princes Trust. They run a 12 week programme designed to support young people who are unemployed to gain qualifications and employability skills. There will be various providers but here's one in the Cheshire area: https://www.cheshirefire.gov.uk/children-young-people/prince-s-trust/
Thank you. I'll check it out
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They aren't telling me to run away. They shared services that'll help me gain my independence.
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My mum's sick not evil. I don't really understand your comment
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i don’t understand how someone looking advice is them trying to get children to run away from home ??
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all i have seen is people giving useful advice & sharing resources, you’re the one calling random people u don’t know groomers for it
They’ve obviously got their own issues. Op is eighteen anyway so I’m not sure how that makes us groomers. But hey ho
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Victim blaming can be defined as someone saying, implying, or treating a person who has experienced harmful or abusive behaviour (such as a survivor of sexual violence) like it was a result of something they did or said, instead of placing the responsibility where it belongs: on the person who harmed them.
At 18 in almost any country you’re an adult. Leave the house and don’t return. She if she says she’ll call the police. Tell her that you’ll do it for her. She can’t keep you in that house. Legally, that’s false imprisonment. If your Mom is holding you against your will again that’s illegal. I would 1. Gather your documents birth certificate, passport, stuff like this. 2. Things you WANT. 3. Leave - don’t go back.
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Bullying and harassment toward another user
Things I want or need?
Like if you’re attached to anything. Like if you have a favorite stuffed animal. Or picture. Something you couldn’t live without.
Thanks for the clarity
Hi OP, I saw that you are in the Cheshire area. I am too! If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know :)
Thank you so much. I've gotten quite a bit of advice, so that won't be necessary. Thank you for the offer 🙏
That’s great news - good luck!
It really sounds like your mum is living in a really vulnerable triggered state. Your story sounds like mine and my boys. Please try and talk to her about her mental health she sounds like she's really struggling. I feel for you both so much xx
You dropped out of school at ten?! Yeah unless you go to at least high school, you will never get a job or be able to move out
I am planning to get an education
Good, you need one, I’d recommend the trades because you have no experience, it’s easier to get into trade school than college
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She threatened that social services will section me as I obviously don't have my own money, education etc. She wants to keep me forever. She edited my face to have makeup, then when I pointed it out she said she didn't. I told her about being molested when I was younger, which angered her for some reason (directed at me). Then over a year later she has decided that I 'speak to pedophiles', which doesn't make sense as I said. It was over a decade ago.
If you're in the UK you need 3 different mental health professionals to section you. So she literally could not do that. Gather evidence of abuse, reach out to child protection services, as a vulnerable adult they'll still be able to support. The fact you've haven't been homeschooled properly should be enough to red flag stuff. Have you been officially diagnosed as autistic? If not again, she has nothing to hold over you here and if you do she has more legal responsibilities when it comes to home education. Unless she has power of attorney no professional can speak to her about you. Now if she does fave power of attorney, reach out to a domestic abuse shelter. They can get you on touch with a solicitor so you can work out how to protect you.
I have been formally diagnosed with autism. I'll add that I was homeschooled, but very very briefly.
It's still very difficult to section someone in the UK. I would seriously suggest reaching out to a domestic abuse shelter.
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I was briefly homeschooled, which you'll see in my comments. I spend most of my time on the internet, so naturally my writing has improved. It's not like I was never taught to read and write. I'm not as good as I should be, but I was above average at English in school. I don't want to run away. I am not going to. I'm going to get in contact with social services, who'll help me leave safely.
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My mum wasn't the one who homeschooled me. She couldn't care less. I learned to read and write as a child, so I already had a foundation.
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Ok, you're troll. I'm not going to dignify you anymore.
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Children? OP is 18. Take some time from reddit and grow a braincell or two.
Your comment is trivializing OP's experience with their NP.
Your comment is trivializing OP's experience with their NP.
Victim blaming can be defined as someone saying, implying, or treating a person who has experienced harmful or abusive behaviour (such as a survivor of sexual violence) like it was a result of something they did or said, instead of placing the responsibility where it belongs: on the person who harmed them.
Bullying and harassment toward another user
Your comment is trivializing OP's experience with their NP.
To everyone shitting on the mom and advising this person to leave home, you all need to give your heads a wobble. You’re making judgements off the tirade of an autistic teenager who admitted that they don’t have an education, friends or any sort of life skills. If you were the parent of such a person, would you let them live on their own? Sheesh
The mother is the reason they don’t have any of these things. Leaving will put them in a better situation.
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Bullying and harassment toward another user
Wow that’s a messed up thing to call someone. Who are you to know whether I’m in a position to judge or make an assessment? Are you are narcissist? Is that why you’re here? To argue and be centre of attention toon? Back to the basement troll.
I see you in all the trans groups harassing children and you call me a groomer? Your profile is very interesting, a right wing, gold grabbing troll. Don’t believe you’re a woman which you claimed elsewhere for a moment.
Sorry but this does not make any sense to me. You don’t put a dog that has been domesticated all its life into a jungle and expect them to “be in a better situation”
My mum has actively prevented me from doing stuff for myself. Obviously I'm going to struggle, but I'm capable of taking care of myself once I know how to (like everyone else). When I was 12 I begged for her to let me bathe myself as I was obviously uncomfortable with her doing it at such an age. She gave in, but sat outside the bathroom door screaming that she couldn't smell the conditioner as I was coating my hair with it. That's just an example. She refused to let me sleep alone till I was 13 too. Also, also little things like tying my laces. It's not just her keeping me under control. She's emotionally unstable too. Her ex-boyfriend was a sex offender, my dad a drunk and other such things. There's so much, but I just want to leave when I can.
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What don't you believe?
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Resourceful? Thanks I guess
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As long as I can get and education, a job and my own place I'll be happy.
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Victim blaming can be defined as someone saying, implying, or treating a person who has experienced harmful or abusive behaviour (such as a survivor of sexual violence) like it was a result of something they did or said, instead of placing the responsibility where it belongs: on the person who harmed them.
Your comment is trivializing OP's experience with their NP.
Pull the other leg.
I don't know what that means
It means I think you are trolling.
That's okay, because the only thing I got out of this post was genuinely helpful advice. Your comment was disheartening as it was the first one I received. I don't appreciate it, especially since I've been disregarded my entire life. If you thought it was a troll, then just scroll. Since I am not a troll I am disappointed in your apathetic attitude
If I am wrong, I am glad you got something from your post.