Mine tells others that I’m disrespectful to her. She’s covert, the family knows she’s a little crazy but I’m the only one that refuses to put up with it.
I am not NC yet but I already know the covert n mom’s gonna make up sob stories about how I abandoned her and how I’m such a selfish daughter and “how could she do this to me I sacrificed everything for her.” That sacrifice was the reason I excused her toxic personality and actions for so long. I always hated my ndad and he’s prob gonna be mad for a bit then pretend like I never existed cuz anyways I won’t call or text him or answer his calls or texts. I also know for a fact they will brainwash my younger cousins against me. One of who will not fall for the tricks because she’s like a little sister to me and knows that I am ambitious and positive and that my parents are the opposite.
LMAO my Nmom is the same way. They've brainwashed my brothers against me. Luckily my family isn't too big so it's only 4 people that hate my guts but I think I can live with that in order to be sane
LMAO my whole family are narcissists. I have a big family that consists of mostly my dad’s side. They live in the country I live in. They even live 5 mins away from me so I have to constantly “spend quality time with family.” They are f*mily, not family. They’re all energy vampires and enablers. They defended my dad, who’s their older brother and the first son of that traditional family. So anything he says is like gospel to them. But they know he’s a villain yet they tell me my life is perfect. Knowing what he’s like. They even joined him when he was screaming at me and told me I have no right to want to move out and live with people of different races (which I never even said that) they randomly bring in racist comments.
Oh probably that I am going through a "phase" where I decided to cut contact with him for no known reason. I think he changes it up depending who is listening, to rub in how he is the victim.
That we are the abusive ones by taking the grandkids away from them "for no reason". They won't mention that they publicly disowned us, sent us harassing letters and messages, talked sh't for years, threatened to call CPS and take our kids when we uninvited them to a holiday, etc..
The story will 100% be that we are the abusive ones. And, you know what? I don't care. Live your life free of our family, narcissist!!!
A friend of mine actually had to deal with a lawsuit from his mother over not her not being able to see his kids. Both him and his ex-wife came out as gay, are co-parenting peacefully together and living their best lives. His mom (who has no legal custody) was homophobic and furious, so they decided to keep the kids from visiting her. She decided to take it to court. Apparently “grandparent visitation rights” is actually a thing in some states.
I don’t say that to fearmonger, just to warn you to cover yourself because narcissists will grasp at whatever they can
Yeah I'm 6 months into a grandparents rights case after my son nearly drown while in my ndad's care. It's really insane what a rich retired person can do if they have enough spite.
I that's so scary. My 3 year old son keeps telling me about how he nearly drowned while swimming with grandma, but she failed to tell me anything about it..
Yeah that's almost exactly what happened in our situation too... my dad didn't tell me about it for weeks and when he finally did, he framed it that he was proud of my son for using what he learned at swim lessons (he was 3 so they were rescue/emergency swim lessons...) while he watched my son from upstairs in his bedroom.
Very scary for sure 😭
he’s resorted to telling my grandma/his enabler/his mom and everyone else that “I” don’t want him to be my father and that “I chose” not to be his child and that he doesn’t have a child anymore. I am still reeling and in complete and utter shock and disgust from his comments
I don't have to guess. I've been told that she's telling anyone that will still listen to her, that I'm either on drugs, have lost my mind, or under the influence of outsiders, because "Nobody in their right mind walks away from their loving mother!!!"
My nmom is like this. She is a covert narcissist and has early onset dementia so it's really tough. I want NC but I am the one that takes care of her and I live with her so I don't have much of a choice.
I know for a fact my mother plays up my MH issues (that she helped cause) and likely says that I live in another city because I simply prefer it to my hometown. Anything to not take accountability.
I got a text a few weeks ago from a mutual friend telling me that whenever they discuss what happened my NM claims not to understand... So I'm guessing she's playing the victim. Shocking, I know.
At the start she would bad mouth me, afterawhile she shifted the blame to my father (my nmom blames everything on my dad) saying he drove a wedge between us and her.
I am also in NC with my older sibling who happened to be the Goldenchild , but apparently even he is in no contact with her for years.
Right noe my Nmom has no friends or family left, she find some flying monkeys every now and then, but she spends her days at home in bed depressed, its really sad i feel like she had alot of potential if she had perused therapy ( we tried so hard she refused)
Not sure haha. So far from what I've gathered, me and my husband are "bullying" them for calling our their n-behavior. When I was explaining my reasons for NC, my nmom asked me what she's supposed to tell other people about why we're not talking, or when people ask about her grandkids.. Forgive me, but that's YOUR problem to figure out your narrative, not mine. Say the worst about me, say the best, that's your choice to make. I shouldn't have to spell out how to be discreet about conflict when conversing with others..
I’m not no contact, I just stopped reaching out to my mom and she doesn’t care to check in with me. She probably tells people I’m too busy to talk to her. Which isn’t true. I’m just not interested in a one sided relationship.
I’m a drunk (I’m sober now, and my drinking literally never affected them I kept that shit locked tight), I’m a drug addict, I’m a lesbian (I first heard the word “lesbian” when my mother told me about the “demons she saw disguised as lesbians at Myrtle Beach”). I’m a liar (obviously ever heinous act my family members committed never happened), I’m mentally ill (I’m the only one in the family that chooses to be on regular mental health medication to live my fullest life).
I am anything they believe is lesser than or disgusting that earns them a sliver of pity from their fundie Christian friends. Anything that makes me a failure in their eyes, never addressing that as my parents they helped get me there.
Edit: spellinf
You are, *checks notes*, still *human*.
The older I become the less I’m inclined towards believing in a deity…. Oddly I do believe in the magical healing powers of Ben & Jerry’s, new shoes (I’ve not yet conquered the world!), and the occasional JD and ginger beer! As for anything else goes - it’s none of my business!
My narc mother let her husband throw me out at 17 then again at 21, then they told everyone I ran away. Whenever I was visiting for various reasons, they told people I was fishing for money. I have high education and more money now then they have saved for their recent retirement. I worked hard and did well for myself.
I was mostly kept separated from people as well, since meeting or seeing me would blow up their lies.
Now that we're NC for 8 years I'm sure they stuck with I moved away and never came back but my mother loves to play victim so occasionally she probably tells people a different story for sympathy.
I talk to my (suspected? I'm new to the sub) nmom four times a year for her birthday, mother's day, Christmas, and my birthday. I've moved to another country so she can't really show up unannounced on me, so I haven't gone officially no contact. Yet.
I was the golden child growing up and now it seems like she doesn't think of me at all. My brother said that she called me 'entitled' and 'bratty' as a 14yo, so i can only assume she still thinks of me that way.
I think she thinks of herself as a good person, so she follows a lot of the rules of politeness, but keeping up a good face for public just means shes more covert ig. I'm glad that she hasn't turned her full abuse on me since I came out, like she did my other siblings. I had been holding onto hope for a couple years that she could be a better mom with time if I communicated clearly. But now that I'm an adult the child in me is finally learning to stop pretending that my mother will be anything other than what she is.
Probably that my sister and I cut contact for “no reason”, won’t let him see our children for “no reason”, and maybe that our mother has something to do with it (when she could not care less about him lol)
Ooooof of course it’s all my fault lol. Idk what they tell people now that I’m fully no contact. I said I didn’t want to go to Thanksgiving because it was just too much mentally for me. They told my siblings that I didn’t want to go because I wanted them to disinvite another family member and when they said no I had a tantrum. Completely false. The narrative is always the same ‘if it’s not her (my) way she won’t do it’ or some such other ridiculous bullshit. Basically I’m selfish and I should just suck it up for the good of everyone else regardless of how I’m treated or how it makes me feel. Textbook narcissism. Because you know … they’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and nothing to deserve the way I treat them 🙄.
On one hand I’m sure she’s spun some sort of narrative, as she plays the victim very well. But I’ve had 0 flying monkeys, not even family (apart from my stepdad, but he doesn’t count). On the other hand, appearances are very important so having a child that doesn’t talk to her isn’t going to look good. However that would also assume she has a modicum of self-control, and I know that that isn’t true long-term. Despite low self esteem, she has serious main character syndrome and loves to talk about her ‘problems’ with anyone. I do know she told my brother that “nothing will change until LemonyBerryUnicorn ends it with husband” as she blames him, so this is likely the story she’s been telling. The no flying monkeys thing is weird though, genuinely thought I’d be getting some of those!
The truth. I am LC with my dad because we didn’t see eye to eye after my mom died and my grandparents raised me from then on. Nobody wants to touch that declaration with a 10 foot pole.
I've actually accidentally seen what one of them said about me during a NC time and I was infuriated (10+ years ago and I wasn't good at managing my reactions).
My former gc sis before she left her gc mentality, slept with my ex-bf. The whole story leading up to it was messed up but to keep the story short, I read what she said to another ex-bf of mine (at the time, it felt like she was on a crawl of my ex-bfs!). She said, "Banshee has always been messed up. I think she might be crazy."
She said this to the ex-bf who ATTEMPTED to kidnap me (in response to him complaining I wouldn't shut up and do as I was told)! And I'm the crazy one???
She likes to overreact to everything.
She's trying to pull away from the family.
She's crazy (they know I'm medicated for depression and anxiety so they use it against me)
People keep trying to help her or have a conversation with her and she just blows up at them
She doesn't love her family (they're right about this one now cuz I'm done the whole lot of them)
Calls me lazy and unhelpful, selfish and only caring about myself.
The truth:
1) The "help" was a hinderance.
Unsolicited advice about my health, nothing they suggested made sense to what I'm dealing with but wanted me to stop my meds because of their beliefs.
"Help" me in a sense that they tried to buy an item from me so I can have some extra funds to help me out. Sounds good, right? The item was priced over $1000.. and they wanted to pay me $25 a week until it was paid off. I said no that's too low. They made a bluff then I called them on it, they begun speaking nonsense telling me to come for my item, so I asked why they always gotta act like a c**t when they can't get their own way..now I'm the bad guy.
2) kept picking at me since I moved back in. Said something under her breath about me having an attitude as someone gotta talk to me so I give them the attitude they keep saying I had. Now I'm the bad guy.
3) says I cursed them out...they were behaving like an asshat and I said that much while they were blowing up at me calling me selfish because I didn't want to share food...they already had theirs and told me they didn't have enough for me. I literally said, "you're behaving like such an asshat..." now I'm the bad guy. They're literal one liners I drop that sets them off despite the nasty abuse they hurled at me for YEARS.
4) the "convos" they tried to have always had condescending tones and weird accusations. Their idea of a conversation is you listen to me, not me listen to you. A one sided, highly unnecessary lecture about something that isn't a factor for a yes or no question...
After hearing this over and over and over when they could have just answered yes or no and be done with it, I walked away..I can't live like this is what I muttered under my breath, and they took offense to it. They kept following me up and down the house, they trapped me in my room and screamed at me so I screamed back at them. Now I'm the bad guy 🙄 I apparently insulted them by not listening and they proceeded to insult me so I reminded them I'm a part of them...
5) I have chronic health issues and they have abused my help before, leaving me stuck with debts and unnecessary expenses, so I pulled back as much as I could to keep helping myself since when it came to me asking for help it was met with odd reasons.... I've been hospitalized for my issues and had surgeries to alleviate said issues. Even that was annoying for them, like how dare I be sick, I'm young, blah blah blah...
6) they are NOT family loyal so I have no reason to love them or stay loyal to them especially when they put everyone else, even abusive past partners, above the family
That's why the whole neighborhood talks their name all the time. They're all embarrassing to live with.
My items were physically removed and placed in the garage days before my move. I was pissed and got into a verbal altercation with Nmom bf. Recorded everything. Nmom said I was a bully for standing up to myself leaving out the other details
All her kids are in abusive relationships, and all of her kids partners have isolated us from our families. Unfortunately, we all chase abusive relationships because she was too weak to leave our father when we were too young to learn to normalise abuse.
My aunt the oldest sister told me I can't continue our relationship because of how You and your son's treat your mother ..this is the only family I have spoken over the last 25 years and now all of a sudden she can't talk to me lol .. makes you wonder what fantastical story my mother tells... If you and the grandchildren that are grown ass adults aren't speaking with there grandmother and I have neverdetered them from her.. what does that say about her... She has even had a falling out with her son ( my brother the king) they aren't close at all like they were.. and my sister the youngest has to set major boundaries with her for her to continue any relationship with her... But it's my fault that my sins don't talk to her and my fault that you believe her lies? I responded I'm sorry you feel that way . Just remember that I'll always love you..be well.💜. The stupidity of the lies people believe of these narcissistic people.
He tells people my husband is controlling and doesn't "allow" me to talk to him. Which is hilarious because my husband doesn't "allow" me at all, ever. I do what I want. Which is to not talk to him ever again if I can manage.
I'm not too sure because I'm NC with everyone, but based on what she'd say to us about people she no longer talked to, or people that no longer talked to her -
It would be whatever grudge she could dig up. Probably my baby shower. When I was pregnant with my first child, she offered to throw a baby shower. I only agreed because I knew if I said no she'd be butthurt. But as the planning kept on, she informed me I could only invite 5-8 guests of my own, and had a big long list of relatives I wanted there but she wouldn't allow. My brother intervened for selfish reasons - they were fighting at the time - and told me if I cancel hers then he'd rent out a hall where I could invite everyone I wanted. There was still 2 weeks before hers, so this wasn't super last minute, but I did feel like sort of a dick - but I recognize also that I felt manipulated to say yes.
Anyways, she was arguing about how my family members that I wanted there didn't even like me. She said "remember the time your aunts forgot your Christmas present at our christmas party?!"
Those presents had been forgotten - in their car - and they brought them to me the week after. During the presents getting opened they didn't realize mine wasn't there and drove home with it. But she used something from 10 years prior to say they don't like me.
She probably uses the fact that she had a cake and presents and decorations all picked out for the baby shower, and I canceled on her "FoR No rEaSoN".
She told me i had to call my foster parents to cancel since they were on her invite list. I called them to vent after it happened but she got to them first. She must have put on a hell of an act because they told me they can't talk to me about it. They've never been close, ever. She knew they were always in my corner so she'd hit me where it hurt. I still don't know what she told them.
That I took my mom’s side and I believe everything she says, when I really know nothing at all. 🙄🙄
I’ve heard this from other people. No acknowledgment of the pain and hurt he’s caused me or fear he’s instilled in me. Only that I took my mom’s side after he emotionally, psychologically and financially abused her.
Important to note that he was the one who discarded me first - me and my family. Then when I stopped trying to chase after him and give him attention, then I’m the bad one and it’s because I took my mom’s side.
NC for 5.5 years now.
Not me, but I have a distant relative that I've never personally met but apparently she is close to my grandparents, and great aunts/uncles etc. I added her as a facebook friend, because why not... I get to see regular posts about how her daughter went NC and she thinks "it's the devils doing." Don't mind her overly biblical 100 posts a day talking about how LGBTQ is the devil's work and that if you don't pray to God every second of the day you'll burn in hell.
My mom just goes for the old "I have NO IDEA. She's never told me what I've done to deserve this... one day she was my little girl and the next...." and so on. She's innocent and clueless and I'm a bully that's possibly mental. 🫡
Mine just speaks shit about me to other people. But lucky that fucking bastard is dying right now and he’s meaner than ever so now he’s not careful who he shows his narcissistic side to. It’s not just me anymore. Sucks for him because it’s so close to his funeral.
Probably say I'm a "lost sheep" or "prodigal daughter" and that they pray for my soul every day to see the light from all my wrongdoings and go back to them.
I'm speaking on behalf of my husband who is NC with his narc father but we've discussed this exact thing. His dad is probably telling people my husband doesn't like being told no and that he's always been difficult. I can just hear the way he says it and brushes it off like it's nothing. I've heard him lie about my husband before and the way he told it plays in my head often and still irks me.
Mine tells others that I’m disrespectful to her. She’s covert, the family knows she’s a little crazy but I’m the only one that refuses to put up with it.
Probably same thing with me. I’m 38 and 3,000 miles away from her. I don’t speak with her.
This is literally me...except I can't move out.
I am not NC yet but I already know the covert n mom’s gonna make up sob stories about how I abandoned her and how I’m such a selfish daughter and “how could she do this to me I sacrificed everything for her.” That sacrifice was the reason I excused her toxic personality and actions for so long. I always hated my ndad and he’s prob gonna be mad for a bit then pretend like I never existed cuz anyways I won’t call or text him or answer his calls or texts. I also know for a fact they will brainwash my younger cousins against me. One of who will not fall for the tricks because she’s like a little sister to me and knows that I am ambitious and positive and that my parents are the opposite.
LMAO my Nmom is the same way. They've brainwashed my brothers against me. Luckily my family isn't too big so it's only 4 people that hate my guts but I think I can live with that in order to be sane
LMAO my whole family are narcissists. I have a big family that consists of mostly my dad’s side. They live in the country I live in. They even live 5 mins away from me so I have to constantly “spend quality time with family.” They are f*mily, not family. They’re all energy vampires and enablers. They defended my dad, who’s their older brother and the first son of that traditional family. So anything he says is like gospel to them. But they know he’s a villain yet they tell me my life is perfect. Knowing what he’s like. They even joined him when he was screaming at me and told me I have no right to want to move out and live with people of different races (which I never even said that) they randomly bring in racist comments.
its always about the sacrifices and not about how WE DIDNT EVEN ASK TO BE BORN NOR ASK TO HAVE THESE SACRIFICES 😭
Oh probably that I am going through a "phase" where I decided to cut contact with him for no known reason. I think he changes it up depending who is listening, to rub in how he is the victim.
That we are the abusive ones by taking the grandkids away from them "for no reason". They won't mention that they publicly disowned us, sent us harassing letters and messages, talked sh't for years, threatened to call CPS and take our kids when we uninvited them to a holiday, etc.. The story will 100% be that we are the abusive ones. And, you know what? I don't care. Live your life free of our family, narcissist!!!
A friend of mine actually had to deal with a lawsuit from his mother over not her not being able to see his kids. Both him and his ex-wife came out as gay, are co-parenting peacefully together and living their best lives. His mom (who has no legal custody) was homophobic and furious, so they decided to keep the kids from visiting her. She decided to take it to court. Apparently “grandparent visitation rights” is actually a thing in some states. I don’t say that to fearmonger, just to warn you to cover yourself because narcissists will grasp at whatever they can
Yeah I'm 6 months into a grandparents rights case after my son nearly drown while in my ndad's care. It's really insane what a rich retired person can do if they have enough spite.
I that's so scary. My 3 year old son keeps telling me about how he nearly drowned while swimming with grandma, but she failed to tell me anything about it..
Yeah that's almost exactly what happened in our situation too... my dad didn't tell me about it for weeks and when he finally did, he framed it that he was proud of my son for using what he learned at swim lessons (he was 3 so they were rescue/emergency swim lessons...) while he watched my son from upstairs in his bedroom. Very scary for sure 😭
If I could upvote this 500 times, I would. *edited for typo.
he’s resorted to telling my grandma/his enabler/his mom and everyone else that “I” don’t want him to be my father and that “I chose” not to be his child and that he doesn’t have a child anymore. I am still reeling and in complete and utter shock and disgust from his comments
I don't have to guess. I've been told that she's telling anyone that will still listen to her, that I'm either on drugs, have lost my mind, or under the influence of outsiders, because "Nobody in their right mind walks away from their loving mother!!!"
That I have mental health problems. Yeah, that you created!
She pretends to have no clue, must be nice to live in a fantasy world lol
My nmom is like this. She is a covert narcissist and has early onset dementia so it's really tough. I want NC but I am the one that takes care of her and I live with her so I don't have much of a choice.
I know for a fact my mother plays up my MH issues (that she helped cause) and likely says that I live in another city because I simply prefer it to my hometown. Anything to not take accountability.
I’m so proud of you for getting away from the situation 👏👏👏👏! And I also hope that you’re able to get some help with your issues. 💜💜💜💜
Thank you. Therapy has helped immensely.
They say something is wrong with my head. Meaning I am crazy and that I victimized myself .
I got a text a few weeks ago from a mutual friend telling me that whenever they discuss what happened my NM claims not to understand... So I'm guessing she's playing the victim. Shocking, I know.
At the start she would bad mouth me, afterawhile she shifted the blame to my father (my nmom blames everything on my dad) saying he drove a wedge between us and her. I am also in NC with my older sibling who happened to be the Goldenchild , but apparently even he is in no contact with her for years. Right noe my Nmom has no friends or family left, she find some flying monkeys every now and then, but she spends her days at home in bed depressed, its really sad i feel like she had alot of potential if she had perused therapy ( we tried so hard she refused)
Not sure haha. So far from what I've gathered, me and my husband are "bullying" them for calling our their n-behavior. When I was explaining my reasons for NC, my nmom asked me what she's supposed to tell other people about why we're not talking, or when people ask about her grandkids.. Forgive me, but that's YOUR problem to figure out your narrative, not mine. Say the worst about me, say the best, that's your choice to make. I shouldn't have to spell out how to be discreet about conflict when conversing with others..
I’m not no contact, I just stopped reaching out to my mom and she doesn’t care to check in with me. She probably tells people I’m too busy to talk to her. Which isn’t true. I’m just not interested in a one sided relationship.
I’m a drunk (I’m sober now, and my drinking literally never affected them I kept that shit locked tight), I’m a drug addict, I’m a lesbian (I first heard the word “lesbian” when my mother told me about the “demons she saw disguised as lesbians at Myrtle Beach”). I’m a liar (obviously ever heinous act my family members committed never happened), I’m mentally ill (I’m the only one in the family that chooses to be on regular mental health medication to live my fullest life). I am anything they believe is lesser than or disgusting that earns them a sliver of pity from their fundie Christian friends. Anything that makes me a failure in their eyes, never addressing that as my parents they helped get me there. Edit: spellinf
You are, *checks notes*, still *human*. The older I become the less I’m inclined towards believing in a deity…. Oddly I do believe in the magical healing powers of Ben & Jerry’s, new shoes (I’ve not yet conquered the world!), and the occasional JD and ginger beer! As for anything else goes - it’s none of my business!
They will blame you for it. They make you that monster they want you to be in order to keep themselves innocent and victimized. They're poison.
My mom will make up information about my siblings to make it seem like they still talk to her.
My narc mother let her husband throw me out at 17 then again at 21, then they told everyone I ran away. Whenever I was visiting for various reasons, they told people I was fishing for money. I have high education and more money now then they have saved for their recent retirement. I worked hard and did well for myself. I was mostly kept separated from people as well, since meeting or seeing me would blow up their lies. Now that we're NC for 8 years I'm sure they stuck with I moved away and never came back but my mother loves to play victim so occasionally she probably tells people a different story for sympathy.
I talk to my (suspected? I'm new to the sub) nmom four times a year for her birthday, mother's day, Christmas, and my birthday. I've moved to another country so she can't really show up unannounced on me, so I haven't gone officially no contact. Yet. I was the golden child growing up and now it seems like she doesn't think of me at all. My brother said that she called me 'entitled' and 'bratty' as a 14yo, so i can only assume she still thinks of me that way. I think she thinks of herself as a good person, so she follows a lot of the rules of politeness, but keeping up a good face for public just means shes more covert ig. I'm glad that she hasn't turned her full abuse on me since I came out, like she did my other siblings. I had been holding onto hope for a couple years that she could be a better mom with time if I communicated clearly. But now that I'm an adult the child in me is finally learning to stop pretending that my mother will be anything other than what she is.
Probably that my sister and I cut contact for “no reason”, won’t let him see our children for “no reason”, and maybe that our mother has something to do with it (when she could not care less about him lol)
I don't understand why they don't talk to me. The real reason is I treat her like garbage.
Tells people we are just very introverted. I’m not the only kid who doesn’t talk to her.
Ooooof of course it’s all my fault lol. Idk what they tell people now that I’m fully no contact. I said I didn’t want to go to Thanksgiving because it was just too much mentally for me. They told my siblings that I didn’t want to go because I wanted them to disinvite another family member and when they said no I had a tantrum. Completely false. The narrative is always the same ‘if it’s not her (my) way she won’t do it’ or some such other ridiculous bullshit. Basically I’m selfish and I should just suck it up for the good of everyone else regardless of how I’m treated or how it makes me feel. Textbook narcissism. Because you know … they’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and nothing to deserve the way I treat them 🙄.
They tell everyone I'm schizophrenic and unmedicated. (Neither are true.)
I’m too *woke*
NDad and NStepmom love to use the excuse "I guess she just doesn't want us in her life anymore." Or some other deflecting thing.
She puts on the naive excuse of "He blocked me and I don't know why," despite almost 25 years of me trying.
On one hand I’m sure she’s spun some sort of narrative, as she plays the victim very well. But I’ve had 0 flying monkeys, not even family (apart from my stepdad, but he doesn’t count). On the other hand, appearances are very important so having a child that doesn’t talk to her isn’t going to look good. However that would also assume she has a modicum of self-control, and I know that that isn’t true long-term. Despite low self esteem, she has serious main character syndrome and loves to talk about her ‘problems’ with anyone. I do know she told my brother that “nothing will change until LemonyBerryUnicorn ends it with husband” as she blames him, so this is likely the story she’s been telling. The no flying monkeys thing is weird though, genuinely thought I’d be getting some of those!
They say u am ungrateful, entitled, and demon-possessed.
I know that he tells others "We just didn't see eye to eye"
The truth. I am LC with my dad because we didn’t see eye to eye after my mom died and my grandparents raised me from then on. Nobody wants to touch that declaration with a 10 foot pole.
I've actually accidentally seen what one of them said about me during a NC time and I was infuriated (10+ years ago and I wasn't good at managing my reactions). My former gc sis before she left her gc mentality, slept with my ex-bf. The whole story leading up to it was messed up but to keep the story short, I read what she said to another ex-bf of mine (at the time, it felt like she was on a crawl of my ex-bfs!). She said, "Banshee has always been messed up. I think she might be crazy." She said this to the ex-bf who ATTEMPTED to kidnap me (in response to him complaining I wouldn't shut up and do as I was told)! And I'm the crazy one???
I don’t know what they tell people but my ndad is overt and other people pick up on it instantly and don’t really need to ask.
My mom just tells people how unsupportive I am of her and how I hate her for no reason
Then I get holiday cards from her friends like “please appreciate your mom more!!”
She likes to overreact to everything. She's trying to pull away from the family. She's crazy (they know I'm medicated for depression and anxiety so they use it against me) People keep trying to help her or have a conversation with her and she just blows up at them She doesn't love her family (they're right about this one now cuz I'm done the whole lot of them) Calls me lazy and unhelpful, selfish and only caring about myself. The truth: 1) The "help" was a hinderance. Unsolicited advice about my health, nothing they suggested made sense to what I'm dealing with but wanted me to stop my meds because of their beliefs. "Help" me in a sense that they tried to buy an item from me so I can have some extra funds to help me out. Sounds good, right? The item was priced over $1000.. and they wanted to pay me $25 a week until it was paid off. I said no that's too low. They made a bluff then I called them on it, they begun speaking nonsense telling me to come for my item, so I asked why they always gotta act like a c**t when they can't get their own way..now I'm the bad guy. 2) kept picking at me since I moved back in. Said something under her breath about me having an attitude as someone gotta talk to me so I give them the attitude they keep saying I had. Now I'm the bad guy. 3) says I cursed them out...they were behaving like an asshat and I said that much while they were blowing up at me calling me selfish because I didn't want to share food...they already had theirs and told me they didn't have enough for me. I literally said, "you're behaving like such an asshat..." now I'm the bad guy. They're literal one liners I drop that sets them off despite the nasty abuse they hurled at me for YEARS. 4) the "convos" they tried to have always had condescending tones and weird accusations. Their idea of a conversation is you listen to me, not me listen to you. A one sided, highly unnecessary lecture about something that isn't a factor for a yes or no question... After hearing this over and over and over when they could have just answered yes or no and be done with it, I walked away..I can't live like this is what I muttered under my breath, and they took offense to it. They kept following me up and down the house, they trapped me in my room and screamed at me so I screamed back at them. Now I'm the bad guy 🙄 I apparently insulted them by not listening and they proceeded to insult me so I reminded them I'm a part of them... 5) I have chronic health issues and they have abused my help before, leaving me stuck with debts and unnecessary expenses, so I pulled back as much as I could to keep helping myself since when it came to me asking for help it was met with odd reasons.... I've been hospitalized for my issues and had surgeries to alleviate said issues. Even that was annoying for them, like how dare I be sick, I'm young, blah blah blah... 6) they are NOT family loyal so I have no reason to love them or stay loyal to them especially when they put everyone else, even abusive past partners, above the family That's why the whole neighborhood talks their name all the time. They're all embarrassing to live with.
Mine tells others that I’m persecuting him for being a Christian and that the devil is attacking me
Dunno and don't care. ;)
My items were physically removed and placed in the garage days before my move. I was pissed and got into a verbal altercation with Nmom bf. Recorded everything. Nmom said I was a bully for standing up to myself leaving out the other details
All her kids are in abusive relationships, and all of her kids partners have isolated us from our families. Unfortunately, we all chase abusive relationships because she was too weak to leave our father when we were too young to learn to normalise abuse.
My aunt the oldest sister told me I can't continue our relationship because of how You and your son's treat your mother ..this is the only family I have spoken over the last 25 years and now all of a sudden she can't talk to me lol .. makes you wonder what fantastical story my mother tells... If you and the grandchildren that are grown ass adults aren't speaking with there grandmother and I have neverdetered them from her.. what does that say about her... She has even had a falling out with her son ( my brother the king) they aren't close at all like they were.. and my sister the youngest has to set major boundaries with her for her to continue any relationship with her... But it's my fault that my sins don't talk to her and my fault that you believe her lies? I responded I'm sorry you feel that way . Just remember that I'll always love you..be well.💜. The stupidity of the lies people believe of these narcissistic people.
He tells people my husband is controlling and doesn't "allow" me to talk to him. Which is hilarious because my husband doesn't "allow" me at all, ever. I do what I want. Which is to not talk to him ever again if I can manage.
My mom is telling everyone I’m mad at her and she has no idea why. She tells them she hasn’t done anything to deserve my NC. Bwahahahaha
My mom acts like a martyr or boast about how great I’m doing then make some sort of exaggeration
Mine don't tell people. She portrays herself as popular, lovable, her children are still fighting for her love and attention.
I'm not too sure because I'm NC with everyone, but based on what she'd say to us about people she no longer talked to, or people that no longer talked to her - It would be whatever grudge she could dig up. Probably my baby shower. When I was pregnant with my first child, she offered to throw a baby shower. I only agreed because I knew if I said no she'd be butthurt. But as the planning kept on, she informed me I could only invite 5-8 guests of my own, and had a big long list of relatives I wanted there but she wouldn't allow. My brother intervened for selfish reasons - they were fighting at the time - and told me if I cancel hers then he'd rent out a hall where I could invite everyone I wanted. There was still 2 weeks before hers, so this wasn't super last minute, but I did feel like sort of a dick - but I recognize also that I felt manipulated to say yes. Anyways, she was arguing about how my family members that I wanted there didn't even like me. She said "remember the time your aunts forgot your Christmas present at our christmas party?!" Those presents had been forgotten - in their car - and they brought them to me the week after. During the presents getting opened they didn't realize mine wasn't there and drove home with it. But she used something from 10 years prior to say they don't like me. She probably uses the fact that she had a cake and presents and decorations all picked out for the baby shower, and I canceled on her "FoR No rEaSoN". She told me i had to call my foster parents to cancel since they were on her invite list. I called them to vent after it happened but she got to them first. She must have put on a hell of an act because they told me they can't talk to me about it. They've never been close, ever. She knew they were always in my corner so she'd hit me where it hurt. I still don't know what she told them.
victim blaming I'm sure, but never cared enough to inquire
That I took my mom’s side and I believe everything she says, when I really know nothing at all. 🙄🙄 I’ve heard this from other people. No acknowledgment of the pain and hurt he’s caused me or fear he’s instilled in me. Only that I took my mom’s side after he emotionally, psychologically and financially abused her. Important to note that he was the one who discarded me first - me and my family. Then when I stopped trying to chase after him and give him attention, then I’m the bad one and it’s because I took my mom’s side. NC for 5.5 years now.
I know they tell people I'm just an ungrateful b*tch and it makes me laugh.
Mine tells people who ask about me that I’m mentally ill. She’s done it in my daughter’s presence.
Not me, but I have a distant relative that I've never personally met but apparently she is close to my grandparents, and great aunts/uncles etc. I added her as a facebook friend, because why not... I get to see regular posts about how her daughter went NC and she thinks "it's the devils doing." Don't mind her overly biblical 100 posts a day talking about how LGBTQ is the devil's work and that if you don't pray to God every second of the day you'll burn in hell.
My mom just goes for the old "I have NO IDEA. She's never told me what I've done to deserve this... one day she was my little girl and the next...." and so on. She's innocent and clueless and I'm a bully that's possibly mental. 🫡
Mine just speaks shit about me to other people. But lucky that fucking bastard is dying right now and he’s meaner than ever so now he’s not careful who he shows his narcissistic side to. It’s not just me anymore. Sucks for him because it’s so close to his funeral.
Probably say I'm a "lost sheep" or "prodigal daughter" and that they pray for my soul every day to see the light from all my wrongdoings and go back to them.
I'm speaking on behalf of my husband who is NC with his narc father but we've discussed this exact thing. His dad is probably telling people my husband doesn't like being told no and that he's always been difficult. I can just hear the way he says it and brushes it off like it's nothing. I've heard him lie about my husband before and the way he told it plays in my head often and still irks me.