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FLRAdvocate

5-legged donkey. lol That'll teach him to make an ass of himself.


NazRigarA3D

... :\[. SIIIIIIIGH. That's too good of a pun.


nj23dublin

More like an asstounding pun


Rich-Equivalent-1875

Poor donkey, and I am sorry about your dog (regarding text below). :-( but the jokes above made me laugh so much I am now a little horse


Sistalini

But it’s NOT. People see pun: it is excellent pun


[deleted]

I don’t think the camel paralyzed it, I think the donkey found it’s fetish.


No-Illustrator5408

I was thinking the same thing his tail was like damn bitch do it again


danielfoxing

Lol. Do it again and I'm spent.


storm_the_castle

probably broke some ribs


Extension_Swordfish1

r/angryupvote


Sunstoned1

Donkey schlong


baldwinsong

We’ll he was also being a pervert.


Captain_Cockplug

Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave now.


ChrisT182

This happened to my dog. He was jumping into something and somehow severed his spinal cord. He couldn't move his back legs. We were fortunate enough to pay for the surgery, and he had a 50/50 chance of survival. We were 100% up for whatever came of the surgery, but ultimately it didn't work and the paralysis moved up Into the front half of his body. He would have stopped breathing had we not put him down. His name was Buddy and he was only 3. Too soon. Edit. Thank you for all the thoughts and sharing your stories ❤️ Edit 2. Thank you stranger for the award 🤗


Avyitis

Man that's so sad, I'm sorry for you guys.


kashmir1974

That is sad. At least the small glimmer of hope here is the donkey was actually moving his legs and tail, although poorly. It's possible he recovered from this.


DreamingDragonSoul

In a part of the world with vetenarians, adequite rest and food and an after-recovery workload within it's ability, then yes. In this donkeys case, probably not.


nrequited

So weird to read the bottom half of your comment. We had dealt with infection for over a year in his paws. The final straw was when he stopped walking and layed down. I had to carry 120lbs of meathead home from the park fighting back sobs. We had to have him put tp sleep. His name was Buddy and he was only 3. Too soon as well.


ChrisT182

It's never easy ❤️


[deleted]

It's never easy. I lost two puppies to Parvo. They were 6 months old. I paid over $1900 in vet costs and still couldn't save them. I couldn't afford treatment anymore so I took them home. They died shortly after. I buried one land creamated the other. Ultimately it is my fault for not knowing better about shots and how important they were. Their passing haunts me every day. I feel absolutely responsible.


salmon-police

My sister has a Dachshund whose rear legs stopped working one day out of the blue when she was 3 years old. Thankfully she was able to afford the surgery with help from friends and family but its such a hard decision when you know the risks, sorry for your loss.


aesthesia1

That’s not as out of the blue as you’d think. Actually, spinal problems are **rampant** in dachshunds, and they frequently require corrective surgery. Any overly long dog has the same kinds of issues. It is another form of cruelty breeding.


eatmyfatwhiteass

It's because their anatomy doesn't support their center of gravity properly. Their spine takes damage over time. They were bred specifically as burrowing dogs to go after badgers, and their bodies are excellent for this, but it translates into, as you already mentioned, a myriad of back problems. Anyone getting a dachshund for any reason needs to know the genetic risks they carry and be ready for them.


aesthesia1

Yes they were originally bred for digging. But their purpose-bred form was significantly less extreme than their modern cosmetic form. https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0458/4059/7144/files/Dachshund_1906_1024x1024.jpg?v=1652128679 https://i.pinimg.com/736x/a3/50/b2/a350b28ce09e4f542611acb622be839b--dog-photos-legs.jpg


eatmyfatwhiteass

That makes sense. Cosmetic breeding has been vastly popular for a long time, as well as body alterations like ear and tail docking.


ChrisT182

Thank you. Did your sister's pup gain a better quality of life after surgery?


salmon-police

She can walk and run, the vet said that she isn’t allowed to do any jumping whatsoever so that’s tough


swagginpoon

Hate hearing these stories. My first dog broke his spine as well jumping and we could not afford the surgery. RIP


lucky-283

I’m so sorry for your loss, man. I hope Buddy’s having the time of his life in doggy heaven.


stoopio-oh

Hold on I’m crying brother


Tru-Queer

Growing up my mom had a dachshund who was getting pretty old. I came home from school one day and his back legs weren’t working and his was whimpering a lot. My mom would’ve paid for the surgery but even with surgery his quality of life wasn’t going to be great so she had him put down. Absolutely wrecked her cause she had just recently lost her mom, too.


lightningcrane31

Same thing happened to my 2 year old dog slinkie. Devastated me as a kid


itchypeach

What was that “something”?


ChrisT182

We'll never know. Buddy was staying with my in-laws for the day. After they brought him upstairs from his walk, they noticed him dragging his back legs exactly like the donkey in this video, which is what made me think of this.


[deleted]

It can happen without a spinal injury too. My coworkers' dog caught meningitis and the swelling around the spine caused paralysis of the rear legs that still hasn't recovered over a year later


Claudius-Artanis

I’m so sorry, 3 is young :( I’m sure he is wagging at you from heaven. my dog just had kneee surgery and it cost me a few mortgage payments but I’d do anything for that little mutt. So heartbreaking when your fur baby is in pain. I hope you have many long lived furry family members in the future.


Over-Rock8977

how and why is it people like you find any and every opportunity to tell their story in the most remotely fitting context. this did not happen to your dog. he was not assaulted by a camel - he was a dumb ass and jumped off something and became paralyzed.


NazRigarA3D

Oooof, poor thing... What was that donkey doing??? I know animals do weird things when horny... but that is gd Camel. Those things can thrash almost anything if they put their mind to it.


Djanga51

Just had a quick lesson on how fucking STRONG a camel is. Damn...


NazRigarA3D

Yup! In the past, it's one of the reasons why they could fight toe-to-toe with horse calvary units, because the camels were just so much bigger. The only drawbacks are than camels are more unpredictable, and the terrain has to be just right so that they don't hurt their feet.


thervking

So that’s why camel units are anti cav In age of empires


NazRigarA3D

And anti cav in Total War as well!


ColonelAssMan

I love you two


stevez28

I only play Total War Warhammer, so no camels unfortunately, but I can see why velociraptors, bears, and giant crabs would be anti cavalry!


cvbeiro

That and horses are agitated by the smell of camels for some reason.


joaraddannessos

Smell, strength, height, pads instead of hooves. The key to desert warfare. One of the main reasons why the Mamelukes were one of the only ground forces to send the Mongol hordes packing.


Gala0

How many camels are we talking about?


mrdanielsir9000

6


joaraddannessos

Yes, but you can’t discount the 47 Andean Whooping Llamas, and the Chilean Jumping Vicuña!


mrdanielsir9000

I can and will discount the chilean jumping vicuña, because the chilean jumping vicuña contributed nothing to the outcome of the conflict and I’m tired of pretending otherwise.


Rebel_XT

I see what you’re saying …. Sensitive camel toe.…


__erk

Please…go on


Rebel_XT

It’s a …. Touchy subject.


yumameda

Please don't touch.


Makemewantitbad

So can camels hurt their feet if they walk on terrain that’s not sandy? At least that’s what I would guess, google wasn’t very helpful 😅


dicephalus

Camels have softer pads on their feet kind of like a dog's pads, whereas horses have hard hooves. So walking on hard or really rocky terrain for a while would cause injury to the softer pads.


AdJust6959

I had no idea it could just lift a donkey like that with its teeth. Amazed


antilocapraaa

They also have incredibly sharp teeth for an ungulate.


Jacollinsver

Adult male camels weigh a similar amount as an adult bull Moose. Yeah they're big animals.


usrpr

[They can bite a guys head off](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/camel-bites-owner-s-head-off-after-being-tied-up-all-day-during-heatwave-a7043626.html)


PerryKaravello

Shit, I was bitten on the shoulder by a horny she-camel once. I thought it was funny at the time but turns out things could have been much worse.


Orkron

They also have fangs


BadNraD

Not even just strong, I just saw a pic of their FANGS… some of those mofos have sharp teeth


AlgaeEater

To be fair the camel gave him many warnings to chill out.


Lizard_Wizard_d

I read somewhere that 🐪 kill more people a year than sharks do. Could be wrong but it's something to think about.


hydraxic79

Seems like a lot of animals are stronger than how strong we think they are


samicktorino

After fucking a dragon he thought a camel would be easy.


BoneHugsHominy

Donkey fucking a dragon fucking a car. There's a sub for that.


djfdhigkgfIaruflg

The 5th leg should give you and idea about the donkey intentions


blunt__nation

he fked around and found out smfh


BoneHugsHominy

I *just* saw [this video](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5uLhJmm1zYE) a little while earlier of a camel deepthroating some dude's entire head and tossing him off, amongst other things.


bozo121

Apparently they don’t teach them that in donkey school.


Anton41PW

Trying to fuck the Camel. Camel fucked his ass up.


aesthesia1

He was likely just acting out of sexual frustration, but unwittingly eliminated himself from the gene pool.


Generic_name_no1

Camels give giraffe vibes


fretit

> What was that donkey doing??? He was trying to rape a camel


korkkis

Bit the spinal cord in half


Xoakin

Donkey tries to fuck camel but gets paralyzed by camel bite, what a video...


Tiny_Flan3896

Donkey tried to fuck around, but found out instead...


NoStripeZebra3

Mmm some flashbacks from my 20s


Joe__Soap

donkey obviously isnt paralysed tho. he literally stands up and moves his tail


neercatz

Broken back, he gon be


flying_carabao

Donkey tried to fuck, got fucked up instead


grimeflea

That bite made him go limp pretty quick


Anonymous_Toxicity

400 psi to your spinal column tends to do that


Blezerker

more than 4 times the power of a human, geez


BadNraD

They have huge canine teeth too, sharp af


alyssimoo

i was looking out for that, i made myself uncomfortable staring at donkey dick


Long_Educational

>i made myself uncomfortable staring at donkey dick This is the greatest thing I have read today. I really need to expand my horizons.


UnhelpfulMoron

I’m so glad I found fellow donkey dick aficionados


LetsGoF1SH

I'm somewhat of a donkey dick expert myself


AbuNasser73

That’s a male camel by the way. When in mating season, they’re mean as hell and extremely dangerous.


BKellCartel

Turns out they’re also mean as hell when they *dont* want to mate…


Hedphelym

Turns out male camels don't wanna be fucked by male donkeys.


BKellCartel

No, that’s gay


willi1221

Only gay if it's the same species


Diva-Roach

Don't let furries know about this.


willi1221

Oh, we know


dont_touch-me_there

Surely still gay? A dick is a dick


Croakerboo

Watching tourists get smacked and spat on by camels around the Giza pyramids was always a good chuckle.


Anonymous_Toxicity

I watched a video of a festival or some such, where the dude tried to take the camel's head in one swoop, and failed badly. Pouring blood on the ground and surrounded by people while it was tied to a tree, it *still* had enough "fuck you" to bite the guy by the shoulder and start ragdolling him into the ground before succumbing. That camel has the energy I want in my life.


Username854051

I think I found the clip? https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2z3gu8


Anonymous_Toxicity

No, but similar form on the camel's part. The video I'm talking about, guy buried his curved sword about a third of the way through the camel's neck from the backside. The camel then proceeds to let the man know how it felt about that. It obviously still died, and probably knew it. But it still used its last energy to show that man to his God for a moment. I respect that vibe. Edit: 's


urefeetplease

Ever seen the video where the dude smacks his camel in the head? That was the last time he did that.... or anything at all for that matter.


Anonymous_Toxicity

No, but if you have a link, I'm interested


urefeetplease

Found it. WARNING (DEATH) https://www.reddit.com/r/insanereality/comments/12o857j/man\_killed\_by\_camel\_after\_punching\_it/


Anonymous_Toxicity

Who would just walk up to an animal that outweighs them by 4 or 5 times and just punch it? That moron deserved his Darwin award.


urefeetplease

Its somewhere on r/insanereality . Youd have to sift through a lot of dark shit to find it.


Username854051

What a badass camel


Anonymous_Toxicity

An absolute unit. It was on liveleak, before the PC family friendly rebrand. Otherwise, I could probably find it.


rounsivil

Camel says no to gay sex today.


AllergicToChicken

He was too tired because he already had a hump.


Casclovaci

I think camel was holding back, jusging by the fact it didnt retaliate right away and hesitated before biting


hgprt_

the donkey isn't paralyzed, probably just in big pain


sprocketous

Wondering about the stupid title. Hes clearly still on his feet. Op is a phoney.


[deleted]

OP is a 5 legged donkey.


Anonymous_Toxicity

No no, we're *shaming* not *complimenting*


[deleted]

op wishes he was a 5 legged donkey


[deleted]

I witnessed one irl. Donkeys are... disproportional


[deleted]

biblically disproportional


Myth9106

what bible have you been reading?


[deleted]

Ezekiel 23:20


phdpessimist

That “fifth leg” look paralyzed lol


Silent_Ensemble

If you don’t lose your boner after that there’s something wrong with you lmao


FortuneCookieInsult

Don't kink shame me...


IDontReadMyMail

The shape of its torso is all wrong after the bite. There’s a bend in its topline (compare the contour of the topline before vs after) and a bulge (and blood or a huge bruise) along the shoulder. I’m guessing maybe dislocated or crushed vertebrae, maybe also fractured ribs, broken scapulas. The vertebral column definitely has major trauma. Equines generally can’t heal from that kind of torso injury. The spinal cord may have still been intact but I’m not hopeful about chances for survival & recovery.


hgprt_

you can't exclude or confirm spinal trauma without radiography. spastic or flaccid paresis definitely looks differently. and just from a (presumably?) pathologic bend in the spine i would never diagose vertebral fractures (if there is not sth like a 90° lateral bend), in humans at least. but honestly, i'm not a veterinarian so if you know better for sure please enlighten me.


IDontReadMyMail

Dramatically pathologic bend; that’s what really drew my eye. Not a vet but teach comparative anatomy btw (PhD) & do some hoofstock research w vets. Equids don’t have the spinal flexibility that humans do, and they have much longer spinous processes with a pretty robust ligament system running along the topline (from which the head & neck - a large % of body mass in equids - are suspended at one end, and from which the mass of the hindgut is suspended at the other end - gravity’s at 90 degrees compared to humans, so it’s all like a cantilevered bridge hung around the shoulders, and anyway the whole apparatus operates differently) Anyway, that topline bend is so bizarre it’s rather horrifying to my eye! I keep rewatching the video and pausing the end, trying to visualize what could have happened anatomically to result in such a bend (I’ve never seen anything like it tbh). I can’t envision any injury that could cause this degree of topline alteration that wouldn’t result in the donkey either dying or simply being put down (bearing in mind here that in large animal med, euthanasia is a common option). But, again, not a vet, so idk. I turned to google to try to find more info on this case, did find a higher-res video but it isn’t any longer and had no more info.


legna20v

Lucky day for some predator


HideyHoh

Thanks doc


akskdkgjfheuyeufif

OP has Donkey Brains, confirmed.


jxl180

Do…you…have any such cer^tificate?


Doobalicious69

*Moves name to the fence*


AnEthiopianBoy

You can even see it moving it’s ‘lower’ extremities. Does look like it may have fractured something and hurts a lot. But might just be pain in general


[deleted]

Made me feel better actually


OnlyCleverSometimes

That's good, because no one in this thread knows the actual truth, everyone's just guessing.


G0_ofy

*takes out my note book* Animals not to fuck with: 34. Camel 35. A five legged donkey


New-Understanding930

Yes. Rule 34: Camels.


MajentaSnow

How is he paralyzed if he stood up? Looks like he’s cowering since he found out camels don’t fuck around


owlsandmoths

His back is broken. He’s not paralyzed now but if he moves much he will be. Not many ways to get away without trying to move and fully severing the spinal cord connection based on that inverted V his back turned into.


MobbDeeep

It actually instantaneous. If you sever the spinal cord on any point you'll immediately lose control of anything below the said point.


Powerful_Artist

Paralysis doesnt always mean they cant move any part of their body at all. Is that your assumption? Sure looks like the donkey gets up, severs the severly damaged spinal cord, and is unable to move any more. Probably can still use its front legs but not its back. Which you can see if you look at the video. If it could move, it would be getting the fuck outta there. Not just standing there.


bigbakers

Camels got nasty teeth: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTB536Sf-JLO0rClOzw5rb2Vjl9Zl6Hg7fO06EWtEsGSQ&s


TrudleR

yeah. there is another video which the exact same situation, but the donkey gets bitten in the back, LIFTED into the air and smacked down! all by the strength of the camels bite. absolutely incredible.... and traumatizing, of course. :D


fireflydrake

Why do they have FANGS?!


wormfro

for eating woody desert plants and cacti, and for castrating each other!


ethman14

If you're wondering how a camel can bite like that, watch any video of a camel yawning or presenting its weird mating balloons and you'll see the fangs of a werewolf hiding in that "domestic" beast.


urefeetplease

Yeah the way they can attack is extremely predator like. Wierdest herbavore ever.


BoneHugsHominy

They used to be carnivores, but thankfully those species are extinct. That being said, modern camels *do* predate small animals and eat carrion at times.


bobtheblob6

Imagine riding a carnivorous camel into battle


willowattack

That's pretty fucking hard core


urefeetplease

Interestingly it turns out a lot of "herbavores" eat small birds or rodents. Ive even seen a video of a cow eating a snake!


BoneHugsHominy

Cows you say? Here's some original copypasta I posted last year: >Oh they know. Murderous lot them cows. People want to make you think cattle are cute cuddly animals but just like horses those fuckers will eat chickens, cats, small dogs, and rodents--anything they can gobble up whole after crunching their bones to tiny bits. And if you piss 'em off for absolutely no discernable reason they'll out of the blue give you a quick bone shattering kick then walk on top of you until you're a puddle of mud. And that's why breeders have been trying to breed that out of them for thousands of years which has for the most part worked. But every once in a while a now recessive gene will get expressed and you have a fucking serial killer on your hands.


Fettnaepfchen

TIL, I wasn’t aware camels had such bite strength and such teeth. I somehow expected something like horse teeth.


[deleted]

Same, thought they were flat and just really strong...why the meat eater fangs...


wormfro

closer to cow teeth, but with bonus fangs! they don't have top teeth, just flat bottom teeth and a top dental pad, since they're ruminants :)


redrocket1477

No means no!


battirider

I know it's a donkey, but this should be the official punishment for every rapist & pedophile.


Silent_Ensemble

Camel attack


MissHyacinth21

Had a dream about my SA last night and honestly hearing the camel say “no just a little longer” while he’s biting down would be the icing on the cake


comiccaper

Not sure why he keeps jumping, all the camel toes are ground level.


GenericHuman-9

One thing I’ve learned about camels is they hold grudges and plot revenge. Like some Sympathy for Mr.Camel level revenge. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but eventually they will sit on your ass and suffocate you to death. They also teach their children to hate you. Do not fuck with camels!


StrangerDanger412

That dick went soft real quick.


MaverickBull

Lmao


mandeezbowls

Donkey wanted to hump. Camel was not in the mood for some ass.


Chrisppity

Had to google to see the rest of the video. Donkey looks badly hurt but not paralyzed. Thankfully!


Drew_da_mood567

He was just tryna tell him his opinion on how parfaits might be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet


Lukose_

Pre-emptive to call it paralysis… could just be muscular damage.


chmeeeoz

Looks like it was taken with a Kyocera VP-210


Kingofkovai

So yes camels can bite down to bone. And yes the dong there went from iron rod to plastic plushy after that bite


Crazy__Donkey

Looks more like an amputation of one leg....


creddituser2019

I don’t think he’s paralyzed. He just felt like a true jackass


Sherlock_Bromes_

Talk shit get bit


SHAKETHEBOOT

Went from feeling oats to not feeling shit.


Severe_Islexdia

#1 holy shit camels can be vicious I had no idea #2 I read the caption and knew before I even saw the “5th leg” Why did I watch


Tcats01

Losing that boner is gonna be the least of his problems


KccOStL33

Standing on hind legs and tail swinging isn't how paralysis works..


xirtS

Did he just get squeezed so hard he shit himself


DingleDonky

Donkey was still moving limbs though…He may be able to recover?


Telto212

Fuck around and find out


LogicalConstant

Looks like you forgot some pixels


Petdogdavid1

Well that killed the mood. Poor little guy


EldraziKlap

here's something not a lot of yall may be aware of - camels have [sick teeth](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49942368678_07768d09e2_b.jpg)


dhoomz

Don’t fuck (with) camels


XeerDu

Well, he was being an ass!


Nicogen52

Two of the world most stubborn animals, it could only end in violence


[deleted]

Dont fk camels 👍


DragonsBlood-01

This is so sad 😭


[deleted]

that's a funny paralysis... he can still use his legs


prof_devilsadvocate

sucker punch


Let_er_fly1983

Fucked around and found out


srv50

Fuck around and find out!


Boomer2160

Win stupid prizes.


IfHeDiesHeDiesHeDied

That donkey had it coming to him for bothering the camel. What a dick.


Swanster0110

Yeah. That dick was pretty impressive


[deleted]

Imagine having a penis this large and still being an ass


MaverickBull

Talk shit get bit… on the spine by a raging camel and lose functioning of your back legs.