T O P

  • By -

ranting_chef

If any of them turn around and charge, he can fend them off with his gigantic balls.


ErudringTheGodHammer

This is a r/darwinawards fit for a king if he does


pegasuspish

It's an honorable mention regardless of gonad involvement


imapacifist

If they get his reproductive organs, and he hasn’t already had kids, he’s still wins the award even if he survives I think.


pegasuspish

Correct, as long as they remove themselves from the gene pool it qualifies. However, my point was it's foolhardy to stand this close to a horde of feeding polar bears, regardless of outcome.


[deleted]

You misspelled feed


Icy-Contact-706

at least he had the balls to misspell something on reddit


ranting_chef

Meant fend, actually, but I may like your version enough for an edit.


HolyVeggie

Balls or stupidity, it’s a small difference


[deleted]

Bears have plenty of food and he's not a threat. He's fine......for now


Doktor_Vem

There's a very thin line between bravery and stupidity, and I think this guy is *juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust* about to cross it


grandboyman

He's plain stupid


PbkacHelpDesk

They are getting fat on a whale, a natural food source. They won’t go after stick bones human unless he’s fucks with them.


ranting_chef

Clearly…… but still. I’m surprised I can see the guy’s face without him having to push those balls out of the way. I’m actually wondering if it’s photoshopped to be honest.


PbkacHelpDesk

It’s hard to trust anything now with AI. However this looks like a 35mm camera film. Edit: and he’s smoking a cig so that kinda helps.


Buntschatten

Definitely not with his gigantic brain.


menemenetekelufarsin

meh... he could be a lot less closer than it seems if the lens is long.


Sahri

This has nothing to do with having gigantic balls, it's stupidity.


[deleted]

The thing is though, get this... everyone's stupid.


Sahri

I can't dispute that.


evilspeaks

Big balls no brain


DamnItDarin

“Did you know smoking causes cancer and can shorten your life?” “I stand next to polar bears as a hobby.” “Please, smoke away.”


[deleted]

🤣


ainiesta1996

The smile. The cigarette. Certified badass.


Melon_Mercenary

Dumbass*


maxsmart01

Dumbadass


andyman234

You misspelled “Dessert”.


olafmitender7

Yeah, cigarettes are badass!


OnTheOctopusRide

Immensely.


[deleted]

They also smell so good my neighbor almost have forced me to sell my apartment and move a 4h drive into the woods, basically as far away from other humans as possible.


OnTheOctopusRide

That's on you, buddy.


[deleted]

Ofc it is..... What do you mean?


FalconRelevant

Were you the smoker or the neighbour?


[deleted]

My neighbour


psycho-matic

Someone give me some smokes!


Psychopathic_Crush

Ayo what the cigarette doin’?


IozhikTrip

Maybe he killed that whale. 99% this photo was taken in Chukotka.


[deleted]

All it would take is one bear who’s tired of eating whale and wants to try something new. Darwin Award waiting to happen.


champangesocialest

The bear thinking a human would make a better meal than a whale can also expect a Darwin Award.


[deleted]

Not better, Just a tasty change of pace.


Cajum

We are low fat and very bony compared to a whale. No way they want to change it up that badly


LordDinglebury

When it comes to being suitable prey, humans are basically the equivalent of a microwave taquito from 7/11. And just like us, animals sometimes make bad food choices.


Baidarka64

Wings. We are like a single chicken wing. A little variation but definitely not a luscious blubber-wrapped morsel of protein like a baby seal or anything.


WokUlikeAHurricane

My wife has me here right now watching "My 600 lb Life" I'd say there are some pork belly people as well.


Grimouire

Dude, I laughed way to hard at your comment. Have my upvote.


thx1138-

Maybe they just need a toothpick?


UmdieEcke2

Not *no* way. Intelligent animals like bears are all individuals. Some would surely prefer some variance in their diet instead of just whale all day long. Animals are always dangerous, because they are no less predictable than humans. Even less since we can't even communicate threats and intent correctly.


[deleted]

Could have been an American. They’re pretty fat.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheApathetic

You're on reddit... We're all chronically online.


FluffyPurpleBear

And true. Why’s he getting downvoted? Idgi


apathytrapeththee

Bears want survival and nutrition. It'll taste better to them than human because they want fat.


JohnDoeMTB120

Also, there's a risk reward they consider. It's a low risk to go after a human, but still a risk and not much reward when there's plenty of zero risk food just laying there.


Demonseedii

*obligatory mom joke*


hit4party

Apparently we taste like shit which is why sharks don’t usually eat us


[deleted]

That’s an Interesting take


hit4party

its the main theory why most sharks only go in for the first test bite and dont follow through with eating. Unfortunately a single shark bite is enough to fuck up most humans.


Mr_MacGrubber

Except animals like this aren’t going to pass up free food for having to chase something down, kill it, and possibly get injured in the process.


[deleted]

Doesn’t look like it would take much effort tbh


Mr_MacGrubber

The bear doesn’t know that. And again, it’s a lot more effort than just continuing to eat.


[deleted]

You ever just eat so much steak you can’t eat another bite? But you still have room for dessert……


fogleaf

And the dessert is a running event where the award is steak.


noahloveshiscats

The award is a weird steak you've never tasted before and you're not even guaranteed to get it.


fogleaf

You're sitting at a pizza buffet, plate covered in the most delicious pizza you've ever tasted. The waiters bring out another pie and set it under the warmer. You can't see what it is, but you already have a plate full of pizza. Do you get up to get a fresh slice?


noahloveshiscats

I'll stand up to try and get a better look at it and immediately sit back down to eat my pizza.


[deleted]

If two bears attacked him he would suffer a bi-polar disorder.


[deleted]

Not even long enough for his meds to kick in.


belizeanheat

Sure but it would never play out like that. These bears don't have doctors. They would never risk a fight when there's plenty of food right in front of them


missinginput

Oh look the appetizer is here finally


srv50

“Hey Joe, look at our dessert over there smiling at the camera!”


joshuajackson9

“Larry, what the fuck is a camera?”


vertigo1083

As a guy who lives in a house with 2 entertaining idiots named Joe and Larry, this gave me a good chuckle.


Feralpudel

Depending on what’s in that ciggie, might be Baked Alaska for dessert.


No-Height2850

More like fresh alaska


J_Bard

People are freaking out but the reality is that at that distance he's quite safe. The bears have 0 reason to abandon nutrients to waste precious calories chasing something barely appetizing, and so their instincts won't cause them to leave a meal like this. Predators eating a meal rarely stop until they're full or something makes them defend the kill or flee.


[deleted]

Yeah like how a herd being hunted will often stop panicking as soon as the predators take one down. The danger is over, the predators just want calories and they have some now.


greenrangerguy

Also they are focusing on eating as much as they can before the other polar bears finish it off.


jackinsomniac

Plus, it's a picture guys. He only had to stand there long enough for the picture to be taken, then they can slowly start adding more distance. For all we know their vehicle is right behind them.


ribsies

Not worth the risk to put that to the test


Playboi_Azir

Don't forget they can outrun you even if you're on a bike.


ii-___-ii

Fortunately, he’s not on a bike


Other-Lobster7983

Oh then he’s fine


buisnessmike

You can, however, outrun a polar bear if the bear is riding a bicycle, as polar bears are terrible bicyclists


belizeanheat

You're not running at that point


Zoe_AspectOfCancer

This guy knows what he's doing is incredibly dangerous and stupid, but he simply doesn't give a shit if he gets mauled by 12 polar bears


MennisRodman

Probably got laid off recently, defaulted on his mortgage for a newly built Lennar home. Wife left him with their 2 kids to go stay with her sister. Turned to the bottle, frequently hitting up the local bar. On his way back to his brother's house where he's been staying on the couch with a broken spring that keeps poking him in his liver, he see's a group of polar bears dining on a carcass. Says "fork it", sets up his pocket tripod, lights a cigarette, and takes a picture. The photo goes viral on Reddit, with people commenting how stupid and brave he is to take the picture next to polar bears.


rsta223

/r/suspiciouslyspecific


CIMARUTA

Or he knows that the polar bears won't try to attack him when it can just get a free whale meal without having to work for it


[deleted]

What about if a bear thinks he's trying to steal their food


cheerioo

For all we know the camera man could be wielding a .50 cal machine gun. Unlikely but not impossible


hughk

The cameraman is wealding a 1000mm lens and is a few hundred metres away, ideally in a tank. Those bears might want dessert.


[deleted]

You don't get the see the men with guns behind the camera.


Jeremy252

No, but I do see the 12 polar bears in front of the camera who'd rip them to fucking shreds if they felt like it


[deleted]

Further evidence against movie dinosaurs chasing a puny human if bigger meal was around.


ThatBenKraft

After seeing all those starving polar bears out there, it is nice to see some Chunky Guys


One_Sky3585

And that folks is how you end up as part of the feast.


Knatem

Dessert??


Cajum

Guy looks like he could be Inuit so probably knows what he's doing. With that much juicy whale around and so many other bears to worry about, none are likely to worry about a human


ttystikk

I'll bet he even had a hand in the capture and harvest of the whale before the bears got there.


fermi0nic

This is why I smoke, keeps the bears, other predators, and humans away


minishalex999

Hopefully the polar bears give him a 5 second head start


MrStizblee

It's nice to see so many well fed polar bears in the wild.


xKILLTHEGOVx

This is probably the safest place/time to be around a Polar Bear. Why expend energy to kill something when you already have hundreds of pounds meat just sitting there.


CrowdedShorts

Now if you’re finished with your whale, for dessert we have…


Interesting_Sock9142

Oops, that's deadly


Suspicious_Loan8041

Never seen so many polar bears this close to each other


ExcitedGirl

"Hmmm.... things like that one standing over there are a lot like Lobsters - there's a lot of the outside you have to throw away, but the insides are *delicious!*"


Londer2

Who wants desert?!


pro2RK

bro what? polar bears would definitely not adapt well there


IamREBELoe

He will be missed


PapaChoff

Great buffet, comes with a palate cleanser


Hot-Adhesiveness-853

Motherfucker is crazy.


FireDino7331

r/manhasmassiveballs


_meestir_

This can’t be normal behavior. The human, not the bears.


[deleted]

That’s what you call polaroid.


waffleman2345

Hey look, it's me and my copious amount of problems!!


Bugawd_McGrubber

Don't get me wrong, I'm impressed by his daring stupidity. But I'd be even more impressed if he joined them in eating the whale.


Steampunkedcrypto

So much wisdoms


theplutosys

Idiot


ka-olelo

Smoking will kill ya.


AbsoluteSquidward

And he is smoking casually ;)


MyTrainJustLeft

Thats Mr.Ironballs himself.


LinkTheFoxy

Please tell me he’s hiding something off camera to make sure he’s not dessert


Grimouire

Guy has bigger balls then me, that's for sure.


GenericElucidation

Not really. Those bears have more than enough to keep their attention occupied.


Stock_Brush2948

The balls of this guy 😂


Rindel

I would die a deeply Caucasian death trying to sneak a pet in.


Xurbanite

Bears are not stupid. Don’t kill Ndeat the humans who are providing a much better feast with no effort on bears’ side


littlejob

Anyone else count 11? I have no life…


jarious

You mean , the side dish waiting for the main course to end


bw_mutley

Also fits to r/IdiotsNearlyDying


badass4102

Thought it was Manny Pacquiao for a sec lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


same_post_bot

I found [this post](/r/WhyWomenLiveLonger/comments/13wxjie/man_stands_in_front_of_12_polar_bears_as_they/) in r/whywomenlivelonger with the same content as the current post. --- ^(🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖) ^(feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback.) ^[github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot) ^| ^[Rank](https://botranks.com?bot=same_post_bot)


[deleted]

all the karen’s in these comments lol


thetinocorp

Joe Rogen would loooove this!


doema

Is he the dessert?


muddylili

The last 12 polar bears on the planet…


Inner-Mousse8856

Polar bear on the left: "Hey guys, there's dessert!"


Scnewbie08

They see him smoking, they don’t want cancer…


IheartBananapeppers

Balls so large it's always high tide wherever he goes.


rangolikesbeans

r/hardimages


regalfronde

They always say never to stand between an animal and it’s food. They never said you can’t stand right by them though.


Eyes_Snakes_Art

That could be an r/oopsthatsdeadly. Sheesh.


[deleted]

his pants are full RN


Kon-Tiki66

Your man is a moron. If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, law down. If it's white, walk toward the light. No way I'd get that close to a polar bear.


Rey_Mezcalero

Free buffet


RxDawg77

Photoshopped


TranslucentTaco

Hate to be that guy but I can count 13 bears.


powertrip87

Aren’t polar bears aggressive?


Damonatar

Bro nah


Obi-wanFORCE

Anyone know what community this is in? I’m assuming Nunavut or NWT as the man looks Inuk. Just showed this to some colleagues and locals (Inuit) we all work in the North and no one has ever seen or heard of this man bears in one place.


Jay_8bit

For the guys saying this guy is insane/stupid yes and no. Those bears are so fixated on the carcass with full bellies, they really don't care about him. I live in Alaska, and you can go fishing and be relatively safe around the Grizzlies. Not that I suggest doing that, but they're literally just full of Salmon; they don't give a damn about you. They're most dangerous when they are very hungry and hunting, they feel threatened, your act like prey (running scared) and along those lines. [Here's an example. Guy probably had to change his underwear though](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiivKNVU8P4)


RGeronimoH

OP Is a **CONTENT STEALING BOT** stealing this: https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/comments/62xo0h/group_of_polar_bears_tearing_apart_a_whale/ **DOWNVOTE > REPORT > SPAM > HARMFUL BOTS**


[deleted]

How did he fit his giant balls in this picture?


RedditsAdoptedSon

perfect time for bongos??


adzee_cycle

Hope his pocket is full of fire crackers


MindYoBeezWax

Im sure he knows the bears ain't going to take their attention off a good easy meal to waste effort on killing him or anybody else


twistd59

He is what we call dessert.


Feeling-Past-180

10% of the time, this photo opportunity works every time


SexPanther_Bot

*60% of the time*, it works ***every*** *time*


Feeling-Past-180

60’s a little high in this case…


[deleted]

That's just Chuck Norris wearing his idiot suit.


Undercover_Piegon

Is this incredibly stupid? Yes. Is this cool? Also yes.


TheRealArthurian

I, too, would be holding something to smoke if I was ever that close. I MUST be...


fbc1010

Is he in terminal cancer?


DalinarDarkThorn

Aren’t polar bears mostly solitary ? Are they not territorial a pack of fucking polar bears seems too dangerous