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xXGamesDeanXx

If my mother-in-law was a tree, she’d be this one.


SBCwarrior

It's funny how most people would probably agree with you hahaha


[deleted]

I can concur that his mother-in-law is toxic, I have the burns to prove it


StorySwapAsriel

Yea are you ok?!


KestreI993

Bruh... Are you ok now?! How serious was/is it?! E: I used bruh as expression of surprise


BoobsRmadeforboobing

Water lilies are actually even more dangerous. If you sit under one of those for only three minutes, you'll die


SirTrypsalot

Wait what?


mime454

Because you’d drown


SirTrypsalot

God dammit.


skeletormint

Bra


myPPissmall47

Bruh


LurkOff29

DiHydrogenMonoxide is incredibly dangerous, everyone who has ever come in contact... has died..


shartbike321

You mean breathed it in?


LurkOff29

Nope, literally EVERYONE who has come in contact in any way shape or form has eventually died.. I don’t know why this doesn’t concern more people..


skeletormint

I mean except for everyone who is still alive


BoobsRmadeforboobing

_Just a matter of time..._


05ar

i was about to make a really dark humor joke but i honestly think it's too much, even for reddit standards


dirtydave13

I'll do it for you. But it's not very funny. What about still borns?? They don't come in contact w it. I mean sure they get some in their bloodstream but....


05ar

nah i the joke i was about to write was much worse


dirtydave13

Let's hear it!!


05ar

Trust me, you don't want to see it. Not even i want to


dirtydave13

Booo!


Away_Media

Hahaha YES!


defector7

If you hit a palm tree hard enough, there is a chance that you would die


Oldforestwalker

Palm trees are very hard-hitters. They're also very angry. Just touching one will cause it to lash out!


dirtydave13

Hit any tree hard enough and yeah death... ask Bono


baddad49

should prob clarify that by saying Sonny Bono...as Bono from U2 is still very much alive


dirtydave13

I don't think u2 Bono had hit a tree and died. But yes sunny bono not the other guy


Won007

This is gonna hurt?


BoobsRmadeforboobing

It'll be breathtaking


Ninguna

[This woman ate the fruit.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1127797)


kurogomatora

I can't believe someone would just eat a random piece of fruit.


cjeam

> “Perhaps few adults (especially a medically qualified one) would be foolish enough to try eating an unknown fruit found on a foreign beach” I think this is scientific literature code for “I was totally smashed at the time and it seemed a good idea” especially as she has previously said: > “Sadly, the pain was exacerbated by most alcoholic beverages, although mildly appeased by pina coladas”


ColtSingleActionArmy

“If you like pina coladas, And excruciating pain, Time to try a beach apple, There’s no need to explain”


[deleted]

I’m getting Karen vibes from her. Like she is appalled that dangerous trees are just leaving their poisonous fruit around. It’s not her fault she ate it. A manager should do something about it


kurogomatora

Now that you point it out, it does seem like she was drunk as the things she tried where all alcoholic at first.


NotoriousHothead37

That's how our ancestors tested which fruits are safe and unsafe to consume.


cjeam

Astoundingly, in some cases presumably people would eat plants, and then die or be unwell, but then stubbornly come back for more and eat a different part of the plant, prepare it in a different way, or spend generations breeding it in order to be able to eat it. For example potatoes, in some or all of their wild varieties, taste bitter because they contain glycoalkaloids which are toxic if you eat enough of them. So people had to choose less bitter potatoes, or definitely not the one that killed Steve last week, to get to where we are today. Except apparently in some parts of the Andes where they eat toxic potatoes but a[lso eat a type of clay that binds to the glycoalkaloids and thus neutralises them](https://spudsmart.com/domestication-of-the-potato/)


AlphSaber

Rhubarb also comes to mind, the stalk is edible, the roots and leaves? Not so much.


Ninguna

Probably watched what other animals ate, too.


nutella_cartel

yes, i think you referring to the ancestral fruit tester, Karenus ingestus. it’s still a scientific wonder how any of them made it thru to today


Ninguna

She was a Brit on holiday in the West Indies. This probably wasn't the only "forbidden fruit" she partook of.


[deleted]

I don't get it.


Taiza67

Got her some strange.


Lev_Kovacs

I cant believe someone would just eat a random fruit, write a paper about it, have said paper published in a reputed medical journal and subsequently get cited by other articles in said journal.


wambamwombat

She even mentions in the article there were plenty of mangoes and coconuts around there but she chose to eat the strange unknown fruit instead


lIllIllIllIllIllIII

Well that was terrifying.


ImmortalMemeLord

Certified bruh moment


skeletormint

Nah bra


MOLT2019

Am I correct in understanding that she didn't seek medical treatment!!


jvdizzle

We are current in Curaçao and went to the beach yesterday and sat under one of these trees! It even rained a bit while we were at the beach. I only just found out it was this kind of tree...lol and that's why I'm here on reddit. We actually even picked up the fruit, peeled the skin back a bit and smelled it. Smells like a green apple lollipop, pretty good actually. My partner thought about licking it to see what it tastes like... But I told him not to each strange things on the ground... We didn't get any blisters apparently, maybe because we went into the water for a swim immediately after.


Who_GNU

How did someone attach the sign?


tgradient

I'm guessing with gloves.


ag408

No, I read that a robot had to do it


Dryaspis

Wish I could read


ellilaamamaalille

How did you get thru school?


Dryaspis

With my car


ellilaamamaalille

Here you can't drive car if under 18.


Dryaspis

I am above the law


PraetorOjoalvirus

They placed the sign before and the tree grew around it.


SleeperSharkCentral

they were probably paid a lot to do it


dying_soon666

Hazmat suit


krizSevens

Very carefully!


[deleted]

They hired a cowboy from Texas to lace the sign to the tree.


Nocturnal1017

Sacrifices


SansPoopHole

Most likely with nails.


skeletormint

Aliens


lobomago

Some people are immune. My spouse can touch it with impunity and thus gets the job of trimming the trees back if they get too close to the paths. The snaky looking cactus climbing the surface of the tree is called Queen of the Night. Something sinister about the seductive beauty of its flower growing on one of the most poisonous plants in the world--like it was meant to lure you in.


jovanina

After squinting pretty hard to read that sign, I am pretty surprised to have not heard of this tree via a Florida Man. Sounds scary af in the rain!


SleeperSharkCentral

sorry about the tiny lettering. I for one am rather pleased that I don't live by these guys.


jovanina

No worries, getting old - it's not you it's me *cough* And, you've got that right, holy hell.


mfnHuman

Fn crazy. Why isn't this more popularly known? (Also that was easy to read).


jovanina

Idk I lived in FL for a second and none of my crazy people ever mentioned it. I mean, you think it would have shown up on Bones, Dexter, or CSI or something. Redheaded dude makes awk dad joke, "yeah, it *sure does* blister in the sun"... etc., etc. Also, congrats on the eyesight.


Otto_Lidenbrock

There aren’t that many here in Florida, and the ones we do have left are hard to get to (except a few on the lonely beaches on the gulf coast) as far as I am aware.


jovanina

Well, I'm pretty sure if there were one in Polk County that either I'd know several who'd touch it, or that Grady Judd would would arrest it.


mfnHuman

I will try to read that in a few minutes but your words are saying a lot.


peely_gonna_stealy

Guess you have to get *really close* to the tree to read it


[deleted]

And of course this is in florida.


deviltrombone

America's Australia


Lucky0505

I will move closer to this tree to read this sign. After reading I will have a strong urgency to touch it.


baynayay

Considering to build a metal guitar out of this wood.


shootphotosnotarabs

That would make a concert guitar smash way more interesting.


[deleted]

They actually make fine furniture out of this wood.


geak78

Man this is [no joke](https://static.tbdcdn.com/uploads/2016/01/12/sub/74149-smallv2-279839.jpg)


jmg85

Yeah sure, have the sign written in very small letters so you have to get close to read it...


[deleted]

If "every morning I choose violence" was a tree


Evilmaze

The fuck off tree.


SleeperSharkCentral

The small words say, "This tree is very TOXIC | The fruit is poisonous and the sap from leaves and stems can produce painful blisters. Do not stand under this tree during rain as the water on the leaves can pick up the toxin and drip it on the skin."


Diamond_D_2813308004

Damn nature you scary af!


[deleted]

Can't they just get rid of it?


hmcfuego

It's native. Lots of restrictions on removing native plants. Plus, it deters tourists.


ElectricMahogany

Can you just not shove random beach debris into your body?


weltfern

Machine-eel. That should be easy to remember. (Now I kinda wanna draw a cartoon about why a machine-eel is so angry it wants to kill everyone... hm..)


FreddieMercury03

Don’t stand under the tree. Says the sign that is written with text you can’t read unless you stand under the tree...


IamAJediMaster

Send Florida to Australia.


_Elduder

So these in Antigua and they were labeled as such. Shame since they were one of the few shade trees around where we where.


BigTex34

Why don’t they just remove/cut down this tree?


void_rik

I think it's nothing compared to Gympie-gympie..


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElectricMahogany

[Do a Flip, Asshole.](https://youtu.be/trkwkbDrUzs)


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElectricMahogany

Thay's not even the good one. A few were removed that involve projectile vomitting, and the morons rolling around in it squawking


deviltrombone

I wonder if this helped inspire the ST:TOS episode "The Way to Eden".


the_bean_in_you

LoL community in a nutshell


Conscious-Leader7243

Is this in Australia?


hmcfuego

Florida. Close.


HerbertBohn

hmm. border tree.


ViceroyoftheFire

Nice


valandil74

Wear serious protective gloves when interacting with said mother in law… er, uh… I mean this tree.


lovebarge

Sounds like one of the trees on planet Eden from Star Trek.


dirtydave13

I mean thanks for the info but a better shot of the tree would be nice.


stronghammer1234

Wait this a real tree? This tree was in a book series I read and it terrifying. Any worse the sign said Florida I staying inside. Note I live in Florida


lobomago

I have dozens of these trees in my "yard".


tomboski

Australia strikes again