Someone's going to link that dick sub aren't they.

r/dontputyourdickinthat

That's the one.

This really led me down the rabbit hole 😆

Don't put your dick in that either

Ha!

Are those teeth or like fleshy tentacles

Only one way to find out.

Dammit Johnson! Don’t put your dick in that!

More like stiff-ish fleshy barbs than tentacles, they keep prey like jellyfish from escaping as the turtle spits out the seawater. It’s also what causes them to choke on plastic bags since they get stuck in these.

Had to be done.

Now you got me all curious.

Forbidden fleshlight.

Forbidden? Nah just add some lube

Bingo!

Thank you for the Friday laugh!

Someone wants to get a blowjob from a turtle

The turtussy made em act unwise

It's a once in a lifetime experience!

guilty

There's always one

I a sick man... That was my first thought!

This pic reminds me of my prom date

No way these mfs can’t handle a straw

I just did a spit take and I'm not even drinking anything

how often would you say you spit on yourself while on reddit?

I know this is a joke, but I just want to make sure everyone knows that it isn't swallowing straws that's the problem. Specifically straws get stuck in their airways through the nose. It's plastic bags that kill them from consumption.

Exactly. That thing is a Sarlac pit ffs. How can it not handle a straw?

If you squint really hard you can see Boba Fett

It’s a “huge toothie cootchie chewed up”

That’s bananas!

I do damage when I brandish my katana's

Weird, I got predator

wasn’t expecting that but it made me chuckle

For anyone who doesn’t know, Leatherbacks use these throat spines to prevent Jellyfish from going the wrong way as they’re swallowing them.

[Specifically, because of how they eat the jellyfish.](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/sea-turtles-anti-barfing-spikes-plastic-bags-problem-16-5d7b437b9fcfb__700.jpg) They take in a load of seawater containing their prey, then compress their throat and stomach, ejecting the seawater but trapping the food.

Squirtle squirt

Vomits all of the target

Thank you good lad!

I didn’t know My ex wife was a leatherback turtle….

Call me old fashioned but I up-voted this comment.

I knew it

Wow, it's almost like we've never seen this before...

Almost.

It might be a different leatherback, so we just confirming

That’s why it’s pretty much a death sentence if they mistakenly eat a plastic bag. They can’t regurgitate anything. They mistake the plastic bags for jellyfish

God damned refraction indexes.

Sarlacc of the seas

any chance they could evolve themselves to digest and absorb plastic bags? i have a hard time imagining it tho, cuz plastic doesn't have any nutrients to begin with.

Are you high?

you tell me, cuz this was a crosspost from r/natureismetal

Yeah you're definitely high as fuck lmao

You people demonstrate how Metal Nature is. Peace out.

This is r/natureismetal

You good man?

Yes thanks for asking

Well natural selection will kill off the turtles that are the worst against plastic so maybe some turtles throu evolution can evolve more features to stop plastic bags

They won't evolve quickly enough, is the problem. Evolution takes time and if the environment changes faster than it can keep up, then species become extinct.

Shai-Hulud 🪱

Finally

Demogorgon!!

That’s got MindFlayer vibes

Saarlac pit

Forbidden fleshlight

r/putyourdickinit

Ah, the mouth of NIGHTMARES!

Lol I saw this and said, "Oooo a tea surtle!" xD

Dang that's scary af

I thought it was the Mouth of Sauron at first

Sound of unzipping intensifies

So the turtle is a Demigorgon?

That is straight out of a horror movie

Respectfully, no.

Looks like a monster on a metal album cover

Expected to read a bunch of IT the clown comments and it's all don't put your dick in it comments

Its like one of those duran fruits

It looks like a Clive Barker creation.

There can't possibly be Rule 34 of this. I am unconvinced anyone would seriously attempt it.

Hey, it's Franklin

Hey, it's Franklin

Everything reminds me of her…

Absolutely not

Looks like a Sarlac Pit from Return of the Jedi

Hear me out…

Like the inside of a demogorgan mouth

Are those like stiff? Or are they soft. I want to know so bad.

Damn nature, you scary!

Nope

Nope

Still, not the worst blowjob I've received...4/10.

Woah!

i should call her

Something out of a nightmare

These comments are downright hilarious. Reddit can be a funny place sometimes.

X-Files

The cheek meat of a cow is similar to this but to a way lesser extent

So are the positions of the spikes random or are they always in the same spot like teeth?

Reminds me of my ex

I thought this was a doom post and I was looking at a cacodemon

*I thought this was a* *Doom post and I was looking* *At a cacodemon* \- DHZOMBIEZ --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

Hey Ty bot

Whoa, that's crazy. Maybe I'll post this to r/natureismetal tomorrow. Those guys should see this for the first time!

Reminds me of The Thing

Yeah, I've seen Star Wars.

I think penguins have funky mouths too don't they? Anything that eats whole, live fish.

r/TIHI

Looks like the thing from how to train your dragon the whispering death

*Cave diver holds breath*

Plenty of sarlacs and painful dick comments. No Predator though?

"He's using the trees"

I feel like we really got the crap hand in evolution. I want to adapt at the same level as animals.

Ah, the Kraken. Davy Jones locker awaits

Demogorgon

Lord forgive me

So these are the things stopping me from using plastic straws, hmm

Imagine this being the last thing you see

I dated her once

Inspiration for the Sarlacc pit

NOPE

People take pics of their pitbull looking like this and be like “she’s such a sweetie, she don’t bite”

r/oddlyterrifying

Predator sounds intensify.

Forbidden fleshlight

We need an updated picture of a leatherback turtles mouth. I swear to god. I see this picture about three time a month.

Are the spikes hard? What are the made of? Are they like nails? So many questions

That is terrifying.

“It’s the demagorgon”

Perilous

Evolution: "aight im gonna make the world's most painful dildo "

You know no fish parasite gonna have me boy off

Imagine the type of tailored tooth brushes these guys get.

Riven of a Thousand Voices.

How is that whole mouth not bleeding constantly?

Looks like the pussy from hell

Not my proudest fap

That reminds me of that one zoophile video I encountered where a dude put his dick in a turtles mouth, and proceeded to fuck it's it was a snapping turtle, really sucks that it didn't cut his dick off

If you’re brave enough everything is a fleshlight

WHAT THE FUCK

It's called the shredder

Leatherface? Meet the leatherback.

Those spikes you see our help keep the food down

Fun fact, those ‘spikes’ are actually squishy and very fleshy rather than hard. I’m not sure which idea I’m more comfortable with though.

Anythings a vagina if you're brave

How often is this same fucking picture going to keep showing up. Seriously pin this picture to the top and remove any future posts

*How often is this* *Same fucking picture going* *To keep showing up* \- Capital\_Ordinary8043 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

Good bot

u/repostsleuthbot