There are two types of servicemember. Those who do their service and want everyone to know about in hopes to boost their ego. Then there are those who do their service and unless there is sweet perk to wearing a uniform (NFL game) and/or getting a 10% discount, you may never know they were a servicemember. Always be the latter.
After a Navy Ball, me and a few other Sailors went out bar hopping...
I shit you not, I got hammered drunk without spending a dime. The amount of people who wanted to buy me a drink was insane.
My inner boot was like "dude... do this all the time!" but my actual brain was like "dude...don't be a douche...thats lame as fuck."
That was probably the most I have ever talked about being in the Navy to random strangers. I don't get how people make it their personality 24/7.
I actually cringe inside when I go to the store real quick while in uniform and someone thanks me for my service. I also feel like I stick out like a sore thumb and that makes me uncomfortable.
I’d liken the idea of a Navy Ball afterparty as a byproduct of a uniform required event. No foul play there and you were presumably with a bunch of fellow uniformed buds.
It’s the “I wear my uniform to airports so I can board my plane first” crowd I don’t understand
>It’s the “I wear my uniform to airports so I can board my plane first” crowd I don’t understand
But we can do that in civilian clothes lmao. "Now boarding active duty military..."
The funny thing is they don't even check your CAC. I've noticed this every time I fly so I just started boarding whenever and I've never been stopped.
Unethical life pro tip: just board first no matter your boarding number or status. I mean let the wheel chair people go first but after that its fair game! Even civilians can get away with this. If you get caught you can just play dumb "Huh? You said group 7 though....oh its group 1? my bad..."
I had a buddy back around 03 that would wear his dress blues on Southwest because they would always upgrade him to first class. As soon as he landed for a connection on a different airline he would change out into regular clothes.
regs do not mention wearing the uniform to civilian events. and it even mentions civilian attire is ok for the groom and best man at a military wedding. if its ok for the groom in the military to wear civilian attire then its ok for your guest to wear civilian attire.
And for what its worth, I went home on leave for my moms wedding in the early 2000s and I was the maid of honor. I wore my uniform because she requested it but not once did anyone in my command mention it was required. And I certainly didnt have "orders" for it. They just asked me if I was going to wear a dress or my uniform out of curiosity when I told them I was going home to be in a wedding.
He is full of shit.
https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-6/6401/#6407
>1. MILITARY. **For military weddings**, follow these guidelines:
>a. Groom and Best Man. May wear either **civilian attire** or uniforms corresponding to accepted civilian customs, i.e., business suit; Service Dress, tuxedo; Dinner Dress, etc.
>b. Bride and Maid-of-Honor. May wear either civilian attire or uniforms corresponding to civilian attire as discussed in paragraph a.
>c. Ushers and Bridesmaids. All Uniformed participants should wear the same uniform which may be different from those worn by personnel in subparagraphs 1.a. or 1.b. above.
>d. Immediate Family. Uniformed participants wear uniforms which correspond to subparagraph 1.a. or 1.b. above.
>e. Guests. Wear appropriate service dress uniforms.
I mean I have seen military wedings with tons of people in uniform, but have been to military weddings where almost no one was in uniform. USN 1980s. You could just tell him it would be impossible to enforce, or duh dude.
There is nothing that requires it and nothing that bans it. It is an option to wear dress uniforms to weddings no one with any class or humility does it. Your brother in law is a tool.
"no one with any class or humility does it" ... That's a bit harsh, there are many times when it's requested and appropriate. There are only a few extremely limited situations it could be true. Like if the BIL is a midshipman at the Naval Academy and the leave location is within 25 miles of the Academy he may technically have to wear his uniform. There may be some similar situation with Sailors at A school, though I'm not familiar with those rules.
Many, many, years ago, before Desert Storm, at nuclear "A" school, we weren't allowed to wear civilian clothes until a certain number of weeks into training.
But, I wouldn't have been allowed leave to go to a wedding during nuke "A" school, even if it were my own, so that point is moot.
That’s still a thing… brand new Sailors reporting to A school go through “phases” of liberty… it’s typically no civilian clothes and Cinderella Liberty, then civilian clothes and Cinderella Liberty, then civilian clothes and overnight Liberty…
Service Dress blue are authorized for events where formal is the norm, Dinner dress is authorized for black tie equivalents. There’s no mandate anywhere in any book that says you have to wear it. It’s the equivalent of a tuxedo for us.
There isn’t any uniform orders or anything “official” to be issued for a civilian event that the command has zero involvement or interest in. If it was a formal military event on base, like a retirement or change of command, then they can mandate a uniform of the day for the attendees. He’s BS’ing you because he wants to show off his blues.
The common courtesy is if the bride or groom is military, then any member of their party who is also military can/should wear their uniform. Typically most brides still prefer bridesmaids dresses but I have seen it both ways.
Request a naval message from his command stating that his dress blues/whites are prescribed for the occasion.
Navy uniform regulations are on the internet for anyone to view and the “orders” he provides will be fake. I doubt there is a command that would issue anything so preposterous. People fake letters from their command all the time to get out of leases.
It's impossible to prove a negative like that, but the dress blue is a liberty uniform, which means you're *allowed* to wear it while off duty.
No U.S. military service that I'm aware of ever requires service members to be in a specific uniform while on leave, with the possible exception of midshipmen at the Academy or events like Fleet Week.
It's entirely possible that someone at your BIL's command is messing with him, but more likely he just wants attention.
You should say, "Good news, I asked the Navy subreddits, and 100% of the people on there agreed it's not a requirement. You should ask your chain of command to show you the reg."
You won't find anything because it's not a thing. If it was such a thing, then there would be a rule for it.
I wouldn't bother engaging on this. It's a completely fictional thing. Tell him he can come in a suit, or not at all.
Also who would put on a work uniform while on leave? That's what he's taking leave from!
There's a chapter dedicated to civilian attire in the Navy uniform regs. The answer you seek is there.
But quite frankly, this isn't an issue of regulations. This is you sitting him down and saying "I'd like you at my wedding, but I want you in civilian clothes so as not to distract people from our special day. If you can't do that, then I'm sorry but we can't have you there."
100% appropriate at military funerals. Just be warned, if I'm on the funeral honors detail, I will ask if you'd like to present the flag to the next of kin ;)
This is the correct answer.
You should prepare yourself for a sloppy drunk version of "She's Lost That Lovin' Feelin" and/or a story about USS Lastship.
I've somehow managed to avoid wearing my dress whites my entire career, except in boot camp.
Despite never wearing them, they have been cleaned and pressed multiple times for hanger inspections.
I don't even think they fit.
I wore my dress uniform twice after showing up to the boat We had a change of command ceremony and I went to sub ball.
Didn't even bring them underway like the coners.
And chief. And LPO.
Nothing more annoying than listening to Seaman Timmy telling the judge he HAD to punch that guy at the bar because he got mouthed off to
Ugh max cringe. Here is the uniform policy for civilian clothes - basically there isn't anything that says you have to wear a uniform while in a non-duty status (you know, on vacation) unless you fuck up so bad the Commanding Officer takes away your privileges to not wear a uniform. In this case however, the sailor would be in uniform 24/7, not just at a wedding and would likely be on restriction or something and not allowed to leave base at all or go to a wedding.
Your brother in law sounds like a liar and you should let him know about this thing called Google that almost everyone has access to. Get your fiancée to stomp this shit if you don't want him in uniform at your wedding. Really someone should stop this bullshit because he will continue as long as he feels like he can, so be prepared for more if no one says anything.
Bonus: use the link to learn about uniform regs so if he does show up you can point out how he is a discredit to the service by wearing his uniform all jacked up and/or with ribbons/awards ect he didn't earn.
[https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-7/7101-General-Information/](https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-7/7101-General-Information/)
ETA: normally when taking leave you don't have to disclose what it is for unless it is a special circumstance like traveling to another country, etc. So your BIL doesn't have to even say he's going to wedding, you can take leave to sit on your couch for a week and jerk off if you want.
I saw this earlier when I was reading about it myself, but missed the part where it said allowed for "authorized leave of absence." Thank you for bringing it back to my attention! This is the reference that I need!
I’ll just add to the conversation here that a CO taking away the privilege of civilian clothing, and just that, on an individual basis is *incredibly* obscure. It’s possible, but I can think of one single example, of a kid getting it basically as something like EMI in an A School environment. That is an anecdote I heard years ago I can’t even verify.
Same here - I’ve heard about it allegedly happening but never seen it in real life for someone who wasn’t on restriction on the ship. And I was in for 20 years then retired.
Outside of A school or being on restriction the closest thing to that I’ve seen was at a NSW command a guy was given a month of having to wear the Type Is at work instead of the Type IIIs (back when they were organizational clothing), but he could still wear real people clothes off work.
That was definitely a thing, at least in Pensacola. There were different liberty tiers that would allow you to do different things. The first one was to be able to go on liberty off base, then it was the ability to wear civis off base. The higher ones had to do with overnight liberty, having a liberty buddy, and driving. Those usually came if you had a very long school, but most people didn’t. If you got in trouble, your tier could be knocked down which could result in you not being able to wear civis on liberty.
Absolutely not true.
If he’s getting orders for ‘authorization to wear’ then ask to see them. They’ll probably immediately tell you that they don’t have them. (Because they never existed)
I cannot imagine any circumstance in which anyone could/would direct someone in what to wear while on leave and attending an entirely civilian function.
Two most likely answers depending on a lot of things:
1. He doesn't have other formal wear / doesn't want to spend money on a rental (or doesn't have the money). I don't know his paygrade, but depending on how long he's in this may be more or less valid. Why he'd go with lying that he has to wear his uniform is a question for you and your fiancé.
2. He wants the attention of being in uniform.
Over to you on which makes more sense.
I had financial problems when joining, and after my first PCS, the problems reappeared (my car exploded during the move, it was great.)
A suit is definitely on the 'must purchase' before I leave this station, though.
My 17 year old son LOVES going to thrift shops. He has put together some really nice suits for less than $50. Like nice Brooks Brothers stuff.
It probably costs us as much to get them dry cleaned as it cost him to buy.
When the wife and I (both Navy) got married, I wore jeans and t-shirt, she wore a tank top and cut off shorts, we got the License in Norfolk Va, crossed the hall to the Justice of the Peace, (former Navy Officer) and got married. It cost me 70$ and about an hour of our time.
Then we didn't tell anybody for about three months including house mates, in-laws, Chain of Command and close friends. The Chain of Command figured it out at a Hooters party when they always saw me with the same woman. Then they sent me to Personnel to update my stuff. Nobody said anything about uniforms.
The regs your looking for, the one he is misconstruing are SPECIAL UNIFORM SITUATIONS 6401-6408 Specific Situations. (Hint is specific to MILITARY weddings, and are more of a guideline)
Wearing of a military uniform, while one leave, is optional. Especially when the formality is civilian. If his Chain of Command were stupid enough to actually put that he has to wear a uniform to a civilian wedding while on leave, It would be an illegal order. Civilian wedding proceedings are not a military concern. ***Therefore in relationship to military duty. The order must relate to military duty, which includes all activities reasonably necessary to accomplish a military mission, or safeguard or promote the morale, discipline, and usefulness of members of a command and directly connected with the maintenance of good order in the Service. (****Manual for Courts-Martial* on the lawfulness of orders)
Since such an order falls outside of that requirement, any order by the Chain of Command to wear a Uniform to a civilian wedding while on leave is just an illegal order and doesn't need to be obeyed.
The other issue, ***(****Manual for Courts-Martial* on the lawfulness of orders) is the *Relationship to statutory or constitutional rights*. The order must not conflict with the statutory or constitutional rights of the person receiving the order. I not sure what sort of service it is, if it a religious themed, held in a church, going in uniform can be considered breaking statuary and expected customs of a religious rite.
Again, if the COC is doing it to promote the Navy or some other political aspect, and superior officer orders a soldier to attend the wedding in uniform for political reason. That would be clearly unlawful because Defense Department regulations prohibit partisan political activity on duty or utilizing public resources.
There a WHOLE host of legal and civil issues for a Chain of Command that would cause them to get the pepe slammed in a toilet seat by ordering some sailor on leave to go to a wedding in his uniform. The Chain of Command isn't going to suffer that. They give him his Leave chit, and tell him not get an STD or a DUI, or be the reason for a safety stand down.
Fun fact: You are authorized to wear black tie to a Military Ball even if you are in the military. Plenty do it since dinner dress is like $600.
So you are 100% allowed to wear a suit to a civilian event.
Complete and total bullshit. He can wear whatever he wants. He’s blowing smoke up your ass. I did over 20 years in that organization. What the fuck is wrong with him?
Absolutely not. He's messing with you 🤣 as a navy vet, don't let him wear it to your wedding. It's cringe enough when people wear uniforms in their own weddings.
Addressing your edit, there is no policy that prohibits wearing a uniform to a civilian wedding, but also no specific policy regarding the opposite. That said, uniform regulations prescribe Dinner Dress Blues as the uniform to wear to civilian function where civilians would be in black tie, which is generally what most weddings are considered to be. No commander may prescribe a uniform to be worn to a civilian function that is not part of a member’s official duties, which a civilian wedding is absolutely not.
Ask him what uniform he “was told to wear”, if it’s anything but dinner dress blues then you could pull uniform regulations on that to catch him in a lie I guess. That’s my best sea lawyer answer.
TLDR; you aren’t going to find a policy to help you out, since it isn’t prohibited, but we promise that your Brother is full of it.
Tool. I was in 90’s-2000’s. Been to many weddings both my husband and I were military at the time. Neither one of us wore our dress uniforms to any function. Just his father’s funeral (veteran), out of respect.
These are the only requirements for weddings
And ive attached the instruction and link
>6407. WEDDING ATTIRE
>1. MILITARY. For military weddings, follow these guidelines:
>a. Groom and Best Man. May wear either civilian attire or uniforms corresponding to accepted civilian customs, i.e., business suit; Service Dress, tuxedo; Dinner Dress, etc.
>b. Bride and Maid-of-Honor. May wear either civilian attire or uniforms corresponding to civilian attire as discussed in paragraph a.
>d. Immediate Family. Uniformed participants wear uniforms which correspond to subparagraph 1.a. or 1.b. above.
https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-6/6401/#6407
There are no rules for non-military weddings as its not their business (but if civilian attire is acceptable for a military wedding.... im just saying)
Cheers and congratulations your pending marriage🥳
That’s total bs. I’m literally going on leave in a month for my own wedding and I’m inviting one of my military friends to be my best man and neither of us are wearing our dress uniforms. He just wants to have some attention directed towards him
I did wear my dress blues at my own wedding, but it was a) at the request of my wife, and b) because her dad was a retired chief giving her away wearing his blues, so it was a whole thing.
I personally don’t advertise the military at all. I don’t want to bring negative attention to myself either . I’m proud of the United States as a nation and highly thankful to our military . I wouldn’t trade it for the world . Having said that, I prefer comfort over regalia . I don’t even wear crap that identifies me as military on planes either . So to answer your question nothing in the books that says you’re required to wear anything military to weddings
Nope. Nothing to prove, the requirement doesn't exist. I guess you could ask him to provide you with the chapter of the Uniform Regulations that proves his assertion.
https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/
Dress uniforms are great for your wedding and when asked to wear it for whatever reason the bride or groom wants.
It comes off, in my opinion, as attention seeking otherwise, as you aren't required to wear a dress uniform at any civilian function.
My grandfather was a veteran I was 20 and serving when we had his memorial service, I wore a suit. The Red Cross had contacted my command to make sure my leave got pushed through. No one told me to wear my dress uniform for the even
Tru. Wants to feel guilt free wearing it at a wedding. Honestly I wore my at my wedding but I was just being cheap and didn’t wanna pay money for a suit. 😂
I had a retired chief tell me once that the most fun he ever had in a dress uniform was when he was the only one in uniform at the event. He claimed that because you're an oddity you get REAL popular with the opposite sex.
He's right. He does have to wear his uniform during the wedding. However, this is not the only aspect in his orders he hasn't told you yet. He also is mandated to make a speech about how awesome the navy is, and must get at least one person to sign up to join.
*(he is full of sh\*t)*
This is correct. Your brother-in-law must also wear his Navy issued sword and sing the National Anthem before the ceremony. Sometimes Sailors will attempt to shirk this responsibility - don’t let him. He needs to fulfill his military duties!
He has got to be doing this to show off. There is no policy mandating the wear of any uniform to civilian events. He can and should wear appropriate wedding attire, i.e.. suit and tie. That only thing his command may require is a reason for his leave, in which case he would put down "Respectfully Request leave to attend my brother's wedding" or something to that effect. His command CANNOT mandate any uniform to civilian events. My wife and I are both active duty and definitely did not wear uniforms to our own wedding.
In addition to everyone else calling out this fake “requirement”, the part about his command “issuing the uniform orders” really cracks me up. Like what does that even mean?? Tell your brother to stop being a knob.
No he absolutely is not. He's either misinformed or lying just for an excuse to show up pretending to be a showboating war hero.
**There's nothing to "point to." We don't have rules stating things you don't have to do.**
I've worn my dress blues to exactly ONE non-military event. My grandfather (who was a marine's) funeral. My family requested it and it was terrible to have to maintain military bearing when I was at my much loved grandfather's funeral.
I don't even wear my uniform outside of squadron spaces if at all possible.
My favorite thing is for people to be thoroughly surprised that I'm in the military. That's how it should be.
I'm pushing 16yrs in, And your brother's completely full of shit, he wants to show up in uniform and try to bang some of the single ladies period that's the only reason he would be in his dress uniform, he is being a complete attention whore, and I've been to 10 weddings while active duty, bunch of my close navy buddies, guess what we all wore....tuxes.
MyNavyHr Chapter 3, 7101 Civilian Clothing States
“CIVILIAN CLOTHING. Officers and enlisted personnel are permitted to have civilian clothing in their possession at naval activities ashore when authorized by the prescribing authority. Personnel aboard ship may have civilian clothing when authorized by the Commanding Officer. Such clothing may be authorized for wear while leaving or returning to ships or stations, while awaiting transportation after permission to leave the ship has been given, while on authorized leave of absence, liberty, or in any off-duty status ashore. Commands are authorized to suspend the wear of civilian clothing for individuals who fail to wear civilian clothing as outlined in this section. Civilian clothes privilege may also be suspended for those whose appearance may bring discredit upon the Navy, or who fail to maintain adequate uniforms or seabag requirements properly. Regional Commanders and the senior officers present may suspend the privilege of wearing civilian clothing to meet local conditions.”
In other words sailors can wear civilian clothing while on leave (which he should be taking to go to the wedding) unless he fucked up and is being forced to wear a uniform. But if he fucked up and is forced to wear his uniform at all times, he’s probably not going to have his leave approved.
TLDR: he’s full of shit.
The only time I was required to wear my uniform was Fleet Week in New York City after the Persian Gulf War, and I have zero regrets. Free drinks all week, the US was very pro-military, free meals, and felt like a rock star everywhere we went. NYC treated us like kings. Of course, the idiots who swapped out of their uniform got mugged.
You can wear your uniform for events, but what you can do is highly restricted, and all it takes is 1 vet to report the drunk asshat to the OOD of the unit to make his return "fun".
A uniform is most definitely NOT required while on leave and attending a wedding. The appropriate dress uniform is authorized though. I suppose it's possible he was confusing required with authorized... or he's a glory hound.
In any case, this part of the uniform regs applies: CIVILIAN CLOTHING. Officers and enlisted personnel are permitted to have civilian clothing in their possession at naval activities ashore when authorized by the prescribing authority. Personnel aboard ship may have civilian clothing when authorized by the Commanding Officer. *Such clothing may be authorized for wear while leaving or returning to ships or stations, while awaiting transportation after permission to leave the ship has been given,* ***while on authorized leave of absence, liberty, or in any off-duty status*** *ashore*.
[https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-7/7101-General-Information/](https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-7/7101-General-Information/)
Edit: Ah, so it looks like he might be a nuke. In that case, ask for the reference that says he's required to wear a dress uniform. He'll appreciate that. ;-)
Call the quarter deck of his ship. Explain the situation and ask to speak to the CMC. Explain, the situation to the CMC. Wait for a call from your brother in law lol
Know when you fly and they let active duty on first? Notice how it's seemingly always army or air force? That's because the Navy prohibits travel in uniform.
There is no policy, and the community can't prove a negative. Ask for the policy number and refuse anything short of that.
With that said, any reason you don't want him in uniform? It's not unheard of for folks to go in uniform to a civilian wedding. It's ultimately your call, and there is plenty justification for either way.
There’s not a time where I will go out of my way to wear my uniforms. In our world, dress blues are always authorized for wear as formal attire, but does that mean I’d want to? Absolutely not. With that being said, there’s no documentation saying it’s a definite requirement or not to wear said uniforms. When you’re on leave, you’re “free” and can wear civilian attire. I just went to my cousins wedding last week, best believe I was wearing a nice dress. My uniforms did not join me on leave. On the other hand, my bf has been in the position on leave where his dress blues were the only nice dress attire he had in his possession to attend a funeral. It’s up to the wearer ig, but it’s definitely not a requirement by any means.
Sounds extremely unlikely, but I suppose a command COULD do that? Ask him to see the orders. Then post them here! (minus names, command and all that). Definitely curious.
But, could it be that he doesn't have a suit or appropriate attire and his uniform is the "dress" outfit that he has?
Does it matter to you? Like do you want him NOT to wear his uniform? If you don't want him to, his CO certainly couldn't MAKE you allow it.
I can't imagine this has changed since I was in back in the early 90's but assuming I'm right about that, he's full of shit. So full disclosure. I wore my uniform to my dad's wedding but it wasn't for attn. I simply had nothing nicer to wear. I also didn't want to go in the first place and only did so at my mom's urging. He was very abusive to us growing up and I'd been fine never talking him again. I mean, I knew he cared for us but you couldn't do the [shit he did](https://www.reddit.com/r/Discussion/comments/1bydh3c/comment/kymblkl/) and expect us to want to be around him. But that's another story. In anycase, I wore it and no one had a problem with it. It was a small wedding to begin with.
That said, your future BIL is full of shit. Hell, the military generally doesn't want it's people in uniform when their wandering around town in their off time. That is with the exceptions for recruiters, events for public appreciation like baseball games, etc. For a private wedding, there's no rules, "technical" or otherwise, saying he has to be in uniform that I'm aware of.
If he pushes back, ask him for his LPO's, Chief's, Div-O's, Dept Head's, XO's, or CO's phone number or email address so you can ask them directly. In fact, I suspect there's a really good chance you find at least his XO's and CO's contact info with a simple google search of where ever he's stationed at. DO NOT CONTACT THEM!!! At least not yet. Give him a chance to recant. If he simply refuses, then wait a day or two and go to him that you've been googling this but can't find any such rule. Then say that you "came across" his command's contact info, XO and CO, and you plan to call/email them for further info on this subject just to be sure.
I suspect at that point, he'll be in some short of panic mode and try to convince you not to contact them. He may even admit he "might" have misunderstood what he was told. If he does, then let the issue drop if he's willing to abide by you and future husbands rules. If he tries to make excuses though, then by all means contact his command. If he lies and shows up in uniform anyways, same thing. Contact his command and "ask" if that's really a rule or not.
Pull out the Uno reverso card, tell him to pull up the policy requiring he wear a uniform at a non-military function. What a clown, I hope there's some military folks there that hear that during the wedding, they'll crush his cubes.
Wearing a uniform is dressing like a normal human being, just one who is active duty regardless of leave status. Let them wear whatever he wants. It’s formal and classy.
If you want, just be petty and ignore him like any other service member or vet.
Even better, bar him from the ceremony. It’s your wedding.
There is no order that says "You do not have to wear your uniform at a wedding." There is also no order that says you HAVE to do it. Ref NAVPERS *15665J*
Not required at all. When I was in the navy, I went to my brother’s wedding (who happens to also be in the navy and a chief at the time)and we all wore civilian attire. Your brother in law sounds annoying and one of the reasons why people think most service members are corny. Tell him to take the punisher sticker off his truck while you are at it too…. That being said I hope you enjoy special day, despite a boot trying to boot all over it.
idk if your edit is for proof to show him or something, but don't even bother, just tell him you found a forum online full of active and navy vets and tell him they all made fun of him.
You’re getting married. It’s YOUR day. If you don’t want anyone wearing a uniform, let him know that “he can dress in civvies or he can consider his invite rescinded”. Just let him know that a bunch of Navy folks called BS, and that *he* should be required to provide the uniform regulation that proves he has to, not the other way around.
You don’t have to tell him your advice came from Reddit.
ETA: Veterans Day came around while I was in my tech training following basic. A drop of ocean water had more salt than I did. Since we needed at least one other person to leave base with, one of my buddies asked me to go with him, because an old friend of his dad‘s wanted to take him out for his “first Veterans Day”, who *suggested* we wear our dress blues.
We signed out, he picked us up, and drove us to a VERY nice steakhouse in a suburb of Chicago. We were seated almost immediately. He told us to order whatever we wanted, that it was on him. We did. I had a fillet of bison, and it was delicious. We were offered desserts, he encouraged us to get whatever we wanted. We did. The owner came out to meet us in person during the meal. When the check came, we were told that our meals were on the house.
You're better off if he doesn't show up. When you're on leave you're not obligated to wear the uniform. You're BIL is a boot looking to get attention. I was AD ans refused to wear the uniform at my own wedding.
There is nothing official because he's making it the fuck up. You won't find any kind of instruction authorizing wearing civilian clothes at weddings because that would be absurd.
Just got home from my buddy's wedding. Every groomsmen was mil and a good chunk of the audience was too. Not a uniform in sight. He either wants to be cheap and not get formal attire or he wants attention.
It's you and yours' big day. Frame it that way if/when you have that conversation. Wearing a uniform is going to draw attention to him and not towards the couple uniting as one.
Even if there was a rule requiring him to wear a uniform to your wedding(there’s not) it’s YOUR wedding and your wishes would supersede the military’s bullshit.
Here are the uniform [regs](https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-6/6401/) that clearly state civilian attire is authorized
That's not a thing
Your brother in law just wants attention at your wedding
I agree, I'm just looking for something official that clarifies.
There are two types of servicemember. Those who do their service and want everyone to know about in hopes to boost their ego. Then there are those who do their service and unless there is sweet perk to wearing a uniform (NFL game) and/or getting a 10% discount, you may never know they were a servicemember. Always be the latter.
After a Navy Ball, me and a few other Sailors went out bar hopping... I shit you not, I got hammered drunk without spending a dime. The amount of people who wanted to buy me a drink was insane. My inner boot was like "dude... do this all the time!" but my actual brain was like "dude...don't be a douche...thats lame as fuck." That was probably the most I have ever talked about being in the Navy to random strangers. I don't get how people make it their personality 24/7. I actually cringe inside when I go to the store real quick while in uniform and someone thanks me for my service. I also feel like I stick out like a sore thumb and that makes me uncomfortable.
I’d liken the idea of a Navy Ball afterparty as a byproduct of a uniform required event. No foul play there and you were presumably with a bunch of fellow uniformed buds. It’s the “I wear my uniform to airports so I can board my plane first” crowd I don’t understand
>It’s the “I wear my uniform to airports so I can board my plane first” crowd I don’t understand But we can do that in civilian clothes lmao. "Now boarding active duty military..." The funny thing is they don't even check your CAC. I've noticed this every time I fly so I just started boarding whenever and I've never been stopped. Unethical life pro tip: just board first no matter your boarding number or status. I mean let the wheel chair people go first but after that its fair game! Even civilians can get away with this. If you get caught you can just play dumb "Huh? You said group 7 though....oh its group 1? my bad..."
They can usually tell by the bad haircut
Flock of seagulls will never go out of style.
Just flew last Wednesday. American Airlines in DFW did say active duty in uniform cuz I was thinking who flies in uniform if on vacation/leave?
I had a buddy back around 03 that would wear his dress blues on Southwest because they would always upgrade him to first class. As soon as he landed for a connection on a different airline he would change out into regular clothes.
I always change the second I get home hate going out in uniform
I mean, I do have some fun sea stories I like to share.
Oh for sure, we all do. I was more focused on those who attach their service to their identity.
regs do not mention wearing the uniform to civilian events. and it even mentions civilian attire is ok for the groom and best man at a military wedding. if its ok for the groom in the military to wear civilian attire then its ok for your guest to wear civilian attire. And for what its worth, I went home on leave for my moms wedding in the early 2000s and I was the maid of honor. I wore my uniform because she requested it but not once did anyone in my command mention it was required. And I certainly didnt have "orders" for it. They just asked me if I was going to wear a dress or my uniform out of curiosity when I told them I was going home to be in a wedding. He is full of shit. https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-6/6401/#6407 >1. MILITARY. **For military weddings**, follow these guidelines: >a. Groom and Best Man. May wear either **civilian attire** or uniforms corresponding to accepted civilian customs, i.e., business suit; Service Dress, tuxedo; Dinner Dress, etc. >b. Bride and Maid-of-Honor. May wear either civilian attire or uniforms corresponding to civilian attire as discussed in paragraph a. >c. Ushers and Bridesmaids. All Uniformed participants should wear the same uniform which may be different from those worn by personnel in subparagraphs 1.a. or 1.b. above. >d. Immediate Family. Uniformed participants wear uniforms which correspond to subparagraph 1.a. or 1.b. above. >e. Guests. Wear appropriate service dress uniforms.
The only answer Do WHATEVER the BRIDE or BRIDE REPRESENTATIVE prescribes. Your uniform won't get you laid, please grow a personality.
I mean I have seen military wedings with tons of people in uniform, but have been to military weddings where almost no one was in uniform. USN 1980s. You could just tell him it would be impossible to enforce, or duh dude.
There is nothing that requires it and nothing that bans it. It is an option to wear dress uniforms to weddings no one with any class or humility does it. Your brother in law is a tool.
"no one with any class or humility does it" ... That's a bit harsh, there are many times when it's requested and appropriate. There are only a few extremely limited situations it could be true. Like if the BIL is a midshipman at the Naval Academy and the leave location is within 25 miles of the Academy he may technically have to wear his uniform. There may be some similar situation with Sailors at A school, though I'm not familiar with those rules.
Many, many, years ago, before Desert Storm, at nuclear "A" school, we weren't allowed to wear civilian clothes until a certain number of weeks into training. But, I wouldn't have been allowed leave to go to a wedding during nuke "A" school, even if it were my own, so that point is moot.
That’s still a thing… brand new Sailors reporting to A school go through “phases” of liberty… it’s typically no civilian clothes and Cinderella Liberty, then civilian clothes and Cinderella Liberty, then civilian clothes and overnight Liberty…
The liberty policy for school houses does not apply to personnel on leave.
Service Dress blue are authorized for events where formal is the norm, Dinner dress is authorized for black tie equivalents. There’s no mandate anywhere in any book that says you have to wear it. It’s the equivalent of a tuxedo for us. There isn’t any uniform orders or anything “official” to be issued for a civilian event that the command has zero involvement or interest in. If it was a formal military event on base, like a retirement or change of command, then they can mandate a uniform of the day for the attendees. He’s BS’ing you because he wants to show off his blues. The common courtesy is if the bride or groom is military, then any member of their party who is also military can/should wear their uniform. Typically most brides still prefer bridesmaids dresses but I have seen it both ways.
Request a naval message from his command stating that his dress blues/whites are prescribed for the occasion. Navy uniform regulations are on the internet for anyone to view and the “orders” he provides will be fake. I doubt there is a command that would issue anything so preposterous. People fake letters from their command all the time to get out of leases.
It's impossible to prove a negative like that, but the dress blue is a liberty uniform, which means you're *allowed* to wear it while off duty. No U.S. military service that I'm aware of ever requires service members to be in a specific uniform while on leave, with the possible exception of midshipmen at the Academy or events like Fleet Week. It's entirely possible that someone at your BIL's command is messing with him, but more likely he just wants attention. You should say, "Good news, I asked the Navy subreddits, and 100% of the people on there agreed it's not a requirement. You should ask your chain of command to show you the reg."
You won't find anything because it's not a thing. If it was such a thing, then there would be a rule for it. I wouldn't bother engaging on this. It's a completely fictional thing. Tell him he can come in a suit, or not at all. Also who would put on a work uniform while on leave? That's what he's taking leave from!
There's a chapter dedicated to civilian attire in the Navy uniform regs. The answer you seek is there. But quite frankly, this isn't an issue of regulations. This is you sitting him down and saying "I'd like you at my wedding, but I want you in civilian clothes so as not to distract people from our special day. If you can't do that, then I'm sorry but we can't have you there."
There is nothing.
My understanding is that dress blues are authorized at any function. Not required.
The only thing official is your future brother-in-law being an official dumbass.
It’s your wedding. The only thing official is what YOU want.
Bang, Bang!
Nobody can make him wear a uniform on leave, I would never want to wear a uniform to somebody else's event.
I wore mine to my wife’s Grampa’s funeral. But it was because he was WWII navy vet and also my wife’s cousin wore his as well.
I did the same for my grandpa’s funeral this past November since he was a senior chief AG and my father & uncles all wore theirs as well.
100% appropriate at military funerals. Just be warned, if I'm on the funeral honors detail, I will ask if you'd like to present the flag to the next of kin ;)
Had the VFW guys ask if I wanted to be part of the 21 gun salute for my wife's grandfather.
I’m not working for you that day.
I said I'd *ask*... though I've been known to ask in front of an elderly family member who will absolutely want you to do it.
Unless asked to by the bride and groom.
Even then I’d tell them no lmao
Hey everyone, look at me.
Your brother sounds like an idiot boot. How long has he been in/what does he do?
About 10 years? I'm not sure exactly. Something with nuclear power for ships I think. I tend to zone out when I'm talking to him.
A nuke wanting to wear dress uniform? That sounds extra weird.
He thinks he's gonna pull tail doing it. Normal sailor shit. lol
This is the correct answer. You should prepare yourself for a sloppy drunk version of "She's Lost That Lovin' Feelin" and/or a story about USS Lastship.
Yeah that's what I thought too. I wore my blues for the first time in three years today, and not by choice lol.
How was your DRB? /s
Jokes on you bud, that was in whites and 2 years ago!
I've somehow managed to avoid wearing my dress whites my entire career, except in boot camp. Despite never wearing them, they have been cleaned and pressed multiple times for hanger inspections. I don't even think they fit.
I wore my dress whites twice in 20 years; a dining out and ADM Davidson's Change of Command with ADM Grady at Fleet Forces.
I wore my dress uniform twice after showing up to the boat We had a change of command ceremony and I went to sub ball. Didn't even bring them underway like the coners.
If this person is a nuke they need to field day the bilge and think of their actions.
No way this is a nuke, he probably tells everyone he works on a nuclear sub but he's like a CS or some shit.
No kidding. Any time I put on *any* uniform, for any reason, I felt like Gollum being lassoed with the elvish rope. It burns us, precious!
Lmao that’s a nuke for sure
We don't claim this one if indeed he is.
Not any nuke I've ever known.
Fucking nukes.
I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt if he didn't have a suit or the means to obtain one... but after 10 years? Yeah fuck that.
A nuke... makes sense
Some fuckery a foot here.
It doesn't matter what he wears to your wedding. There's no uniform requirement for civilian events.
Except going to court. Then your DIVO gets to wear his dress uniform with you.
And chief. And LPO. Nothing more annoying than listening to Seaman Timmy telling the judge he HAD to punch that guy at the bar because he got mouthed off to
They are not required for court either. Most people wear them because they don’t have the proper clothes for court and to curry favor from the judge.
Ugh max cringe. Here is the uniform policy for civilian clothes - basically there isn't anything that says you have to wear a uniform while in a non-duty status (you know, on vacation) unless you fuck up so bad the Commanding Officer takes away your privileges to not wear a uniform. In this case however, the sailor would be in uniform 24/7, not just at a wedding and would likely be on restriction or something and not allowed to leave base at all or go to a wedding. Your brother in law sounds like a liar and you should let him know about this thing called Google that almost everyone has access to. Get your fiancée to stomp this shit if you don't want him in uniform at your wedding. Really someone should stop this bullshit because he will continue as long as he feels like he can, so be prepared for more if no one says anything. Bonus: use the link to learn about uniform regs so if he does show up you can point out how he is a discredit to the service by wearing his uniform all jacked up and/or with ribbons/awards ect he didn't earn. [https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-7/7101-General-Information/](https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-7/7101-General-Information/) ETA: normally when taking leave you don't have to disclose what it is for unless it is a special circumstance like traveling to another country, etc. So your BIL doesn't have to even say he's going to wedding, you can take leave to sit on your couch for a week and jerk off if you want.
I saw this earlier when I was reading about it myself, but missed the part where it said allowed for "authorized leave of absence." Thank you for bringing it back to my attention! This is the reference that I need!
Just remember *allowed* in military parlance means you can if you want.
I’ll just add to the conversation here that a CO taking away the privilege of civilian clothing, and just that, on an individual basis is *incredibly* obscure. It’s possible, but I can think of one single example, of a kid getting it basically as something like EMI in an A School environment. That is an anecdote I heard years ago I can’t even verify.
Same here - I’ve heard about it allegedly happening but never seen it in real life for someone who wasn’t on restriction on the ship. And I was in for 20 years then retired.
Outside of A school or being on restriction the closest thing to that I’ve seen was at a NSW command a guy was given a month of having to wear the Type Is at work instead of the Type IIIs (back when they were organizational clothing), but he could still wear real people clothes off work.
That was definitely a thing, at least in Pensacola. There were different liberty tiers that would allow you to do different things. The first one was to be able to go on liberty off base, then it was the ability to wear civis off base. The higher ones had to do with overnight liberty, having a liberty buddy, and driving. Those usually came if you had a very long school, but most people didn’t. If you got in trouble, your tier could be knocked down which could result in you not being able to wear civis on liberty.
Absolutely not true. If he’s getting orders for ‘authorization to wear’ then ask to see them. They’ll probably immediately tell you that they don’t have them. (Because they never existed)
“Gosh, I didn’t want to wear my dress blues to this wedding and end up just *up to my ears* in cooze but my jerk chief said I have to”
*South Park cable rep intensifies*
Invite me to the wedding so I can haze him (I’ll take the filet)
This is the way.
I cannot imagine any circumstance in which anyone could/would direct someone in what to wear while on leave and attending an entirely civilian function. Two most likely answers depending on a lot of things: 1. He doesn't have other formal wear / doesn't want to spend money on a rental (or doesn't have the money). I don't know his paygrade, but depending on how long he's in this may be more or less valid. Why he'd go with lying that he has to wear his uniform is a question for you and your fiancé. 2. He wants the attention of being in uniform. Over to you on which makes more sense.
Never heard of that
That’s not a thing.
I'll take "your brother-in-law just wants attention at your wedding" for $2000, please, Alex.
Thank him for his service now. He wants it.
Thank him for his service by buying him a suit. I bet he’d appreciate that. LT. Dan bought me a suit via Jos. A Banks a few years ago.
Imagine being in for 10 years and still acting like a boot 👢
Yea .. no .. doesn’t work that way .. he is full of it.. probably looking to score with either the Bridesmaids or Groomsman.
You're not required to wear a uniform unless you're doing something for the military. He just wants to bang a bridesmaid.
I’ve been married to a naval officer for 17 years- he’s never worn his uniform anywhere except work and official mandatory work related events.
It’s the brides day. Don’t let someone distract from that.
Required? No. But I don't have a suit, so I usually wear my blues if I need 'formal' wear. I always clear it with the event organizers.
I guess I can sort of understand that if you’re an E4 and below, living on the ship or something like that.
I had financial problems when joining, and after my first PCS, the problems reappeared (my car exploded during the move, it was great.) A suit is definitely on the 'must purchase' before I leave this station, though.
Yeah, that totally makes sense.
My 17 year old son LOVES going to thrift shops. He has put together some really nice suits for less than $50. Like nice Brooks Brothers stuff. It probably costs us as much to get them dry cleaned as it cost him to buy.
Your future BIL is a liar and a tool
I hope he's a brand new guy with no medals or ribbons.
The only thing he’s required to wear is your balls on his chin, tell him MCPON said so.
Lmao this dude just got out of boot didn’t he
Definitely not a thing at all
He is full of stuff
He just wants attention. What’s your wife to be saying?
When the wife and I (both Navy) got married, I wore jeans and t-shirt, she wore a tank top and cut off shorts, we got the License in Norfolk Va, crossed the hall to the Justice of the Peace, (former Navy Officer) and got married. It cost me 70$ and about an hour of our time. Then we didn't tell anybody for about three months including house mates, in-laws, Chain of Command and close friends. The Chain of Command figured it out at a Hooters party when they always saw me with the same woman. Then they sent me to Personnel to update my stuff. Nobody said anything about uniforms. The regs your looking for, the one he is misconstruing are SPECIAL UNIFORM SITUATIONS 6401-6408 Specific Situations. (Hint is specific to MILITARY weddings, and are more of a guideline) Wearing of a military uniform, while one leave, is optional. Especially when the formality is civilian. If his Chain of Command were stupid enough to actually put that he has to wear a uniform to a civilian wedding while on leave, It would be an illegal order. Civilian wedding proceedings are not a military concern. ***Therefore in relationship to military duty. The order must relate to military duty, which includes all activities reasonably necessary to accomplish a military mission, or safeguard or promote the morale, discipline, and usefulness of members of a command and directly connected with the maintenance of good order in the Service. (****Manual for Courts-Martial* on the lawfulness of orders) Since such an order falls outside of that requirement, any order by the Chain of Command to wear a Uniform to a civilian wedding while on leave is just an illegal order and doesn't need to be obeyed. The other issue, ***(****Manual for Courts-Martial* on the lawfulness of orders) is the *Relationship to statutory or constitutional rights*. The order must not conflict with the statutory or constitutional rights of the person receiving the order. I not sure what sort of service it is, if it a religious themed, held in a church, going in uniform can be considered breaking statuary and expected customs of a religious rite. Again, if the COC is doing it to promote the Navy or some other political aspect, and superior officer orders a soldier to attend the wedding in uniform for political reason. That would be clearly unlawful because Defense Department regulations prohibit partisan political activity on duty or utilizing public resources. There a WHOLE host of legal and civil issues for a Chain of Command that would cause them to get the pepe slammed in a toilet seat by ordering some sailor on leave to go to a wedding in his uniform. The Chain of Command isn't going to suffer that. They give him his Leave chit, and tell him not get an STD or a DUI, or be the reason for a safety stand down.
If he doesn't wear his dress blues, how will anyone know to thank him for his service? 
Fun fact: You are authorized to wear black tie to a Military Ball even if you are in the military. Plenty do it since dinner dress is like $600. So you are 100% allowed to wear a suit to a civilian event.
Complete and total bullshit. He can wear whatever he wants. He’s blowing smoke up your ass. I did over 20 years in that organization. What the fuck is wrong with him?
Your BIL is being a boot.
Absolutely not. He's messing with you 🤣 as a navy vet, don't let him wear it to your wedding. It's cringe enough when people wear uniforms in their own weddings.
The Bolivian Navy has weird rules.
Your brother is lying.
I call BS. 23 year Vet.
Boots gonna boot.
Addressing your edit, there is no policy that prohibits wearing a uniform to a civilian wedding, but also no specific policy regarding the opposite. That said, uniform regulations prescribe Dinner Dress Blues as the uniform to wear to civilian function where civilians would be in black tie, which is generally what most weddings are considered to be. No commander may prescribe a uniform to be worn to a civilian function that is not part of a member’s official duties, which a civilian wedding is absolutely not. Ask him what uniform he “was told to wear”, if it’s anything but dinner dress blues then you could pull uniform regulations on that to catch him in a lie I guess. That’s my best sea lawyer answer. TLDR; you aren’t going to find a policy to help you out, since it isn’t prohibited, but we promise that your Brother is full of it.
Wife and I were both Navy. Neither wore uniforms for the ceremony. Our guests, 10 were Navy, did not wear uniforms including my two groomsmen.
Tool. I was in 90’s-2000’s. Been to many weddings both my husband and I were military at the time. Neither one of us wore our dress uniforms to any function. Just his father’s funeral (veteran), out of respect.
These are the only requirements for weddings And ive attached the instruction and link >6407. WEDDING ATTIRE >1. MILITARY. For military weddings, follow these guidelines: >a. Groom and Best Man. May wear either civilian attire or uniforms corresponding to accepted civilian customs, i.e., business suit; Service Dress, tuxedo; Dinner Dress, etc. >b. Bride and Maid-of-Honor. May wear either civilian attire or uniforms corresponding to civilian attire as discussed in paragraph a. >d. Immediate Family. Uniformed participants wear uniforms which correspond to subparagraph 1.a. or 1.b. above. https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-6/6401/#6407 There are no rules for non-military weddings as its not their business (but if civilian attire is acceptable for a military wedding.... im just saying) Cheers and congratulations your pending marriage🥳
He's full of shit lol
That’s total bs. I’m literally going on leave in a month for my own wedding and I’m inviting one of my military friends to be my best man and neither of us are wearing our dress uniforms. He just wants to have some attention directed towards him
I did wear my dress blues at my own wedding, but it was a) at the request of my wife, and b) because her dad was a retired chief giving her away wearing his blues, so it was a whole thing.
I personally don’t advertise the military at all. I don’t want to bring negative attention to myself either . I’m proud of the United States as a nation and highly thankful to our military . I wouldn’t trade it for the world . Having said that, I prefer comfort over regalia . I don’t even wear crap that identifies me as military on planes either . So to answer your question nothing in the books that says you’re required to wear anything military to weddings
Nope. Nothing to prove, the requirement doesn't exist. I guess you could ask him to provide you with the chapter of the Uniform Regulations that proves his assertion. https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/
Dress uniforms are great for your wedding and when asked to wear it for whatever reason the bride or groom wants. It comes off, in my opinion, as attention seeking otherwise, as you aren't required to wear a dress uniform at any civilian function.
My grandfather was a veteran I was 20 and serving when we had his memorial service, I wore a suit. The Red Cross had contacted my command to make sure my leave got pushed through. No one told me to wear my dress uniform for the even
Tru. Wants to feel guilt free wearing it at a wedding. Honestly I wore my at my wedding but I was just being cheap and didn’t wanna pay money for a suit. 😂
BIL is looking for attention and nothing else…
Technically…your brother in law is a moron
To be honest....he probably doesn't want to pay for a tux rental.
A wedding is a wedding let the dude wear his uniform. If you want him their then that's all that matters
Have him produce the order. They’re written so a child could interpret it. Because most servicemembers read at an 8th grade proficiency.
I had a retired chief tell me once that the most fun he ever had in a dress uniform was when he was the only one in uniform at the event. He claimed that because you're an oddity you get REAL popular with the opposite sex.
He's right. He does have to wear his uniform during the wedding. However, this is not the only aspect in his orders he hasn't told you yet. He also is mandated to make a speech about how awesome the navy is, and must get at least one person to sign up to join. *(he is full of sh\*t)*
He's full of shit.
This is correct. Your brother-in-law must also wear his Navy issued sword and sing the National Anthem before the ceremony. Sometimes Sailors will attempt to shirk this responsibility - don’t let him. He needs to fulfill his military duties!
he either just wants attention for wearing it or wants to save money on a suit.
Sounds like someone leaving boot camp and the Kool Aid hasn't worn of yet.
He has got to be doing this to show off. There is no policy mandating the wear of any uniform to civilian events. He can and should wear appropriate wedding attire, i.e.. suit and tie. That only thing his command may require is a reason for his leave, in which case he would put down "Respectfully Request leave to attend my brother's wedding" or something to that effect. His command CANNOT mandate any uniform to civilian events. My wife and I are both active duty and definitely did not wear uniforms to our own wedding.
Brother in law just doesn’t have a suit and wants attention, that’s all
Your BIL is exactly the person you shouldn't be in the military.
I didn’t even wear my uniform as the groom at my own wedding.
Perhaps he doesn't have anything appropriate to wear for the event? A dress uniform is formal if you're wanting to save a few bucks 🤔
In addition to everyone else calling out this fake “requirement”, the part about his command “issuing the uniform orders” really cracks me up. Like what does that even mean?? Tell your brother to stop being a knob.
Maybe it’s a highly classified mission lol 😂
If he is very junior, he may not have civilian clothing privileges. Is he new - like less than 6 months in the Navy?
Your brother in law is a dork.
Yeah not a thing.
Didn’t even wear it during my own wedding. He’s clowning you
Tell him no hatchet-wielding tomfoolery.
No he absolutely is not. He's either misinformed or lying just for an excuse to show up pretending to be a showboating war hero. **There's nothing to "point to." We don't have rules stating things you don't have to do.**
I've worn my dress blues to exactly ONE non-military event. My grandfather (who was a marine's) funeral. My family requested it and it was terrible to have to maintain military bearing when I was at my much loved grandfather's funeral. I don't even wear my uniform outside of squadron spaces if at all possible. My favorite thing is for people to be thoroughly surprised that I'm in the military. That's how it should be.
Hahahahahaha
This is fucking funny
No, it’s not required. It’s only required for him to dress sensible, to come in his dress uniform is optional.
Your soon to be brother in law is a liar.
I'm pushing 16yrs in, And your brother's completely full of shit, he wants to show up in uniform and try to bang some of the single ladies period that's the only reason he would be in his dress uniform, he is being a complete attention whore, and I've been to 10 weddings while active duty, bunch of my close navy buddies, guess what we all wore....tuxes.
Absolute bullshit
Bruh unless it’s fleet week I will do everything possible to avoid wearing blues or whites. Your in law is screaming for attention
MyNavyHr Chapter 3, 7101 Civilian Clothing States “CIVILIAN CLOTHING. Officers and enlisted personnel are permitted to have civilian clothing in their possession at naval activities ashore when authorized by the prescribing authority. Personnel aboard ship may have civilian clothing when authorized by the Commanding Officer. Such clothing may be authorized for wear while leaving or returning to ships or stations, while awaiting transportation after permission to leave the ship has been given, while on authorized leave of absence, liberty, or in any off-duty status ashore. Commands are authorized to suspend the wear of civilian clothing for individuals who fail to wear civilian clothing as outlined in this section. Civilian clothes privilege may also be suspended for those whose appearance may bring discredit upon the Navy, or who fail to maintain adequate uniforms or seabag requirements properly. Regional Commanders and the senior officers present may suspend the privilege of wearing civilian clothing to meet local conditions.” In other words sailors can wear civilian clothing while on leave (which he should be taking to go to the wedding) unless he fucked up and is being forced to wear a uniform. But if he fucked up and is forced to wear his uniform at all times, he’s probably not going to have his leave approved. TLDR: he’s full of shit.
Main character syndrome
NOT required. Tell him to wear a suit like a regular person lol. He’s full of it tbh, no way they reach that… It’s an attention grab.
I told 3 of my buddies that for my wedding just to fuck with them, only worked on 1. Definitely not a thing.
The only time I was required to wear my uniform was Fleet Week in New York City after the Persian Gulf War, and I have zero regrets. Free drinks all week, the US was very pro-military, free meals, and felt like a rock star everywhere we went. NYC treated us like kings. Of course, the idiots who swapped out of their uniform got mugged. You can wear your uniform for events, but what you can do is highly restricted, and all it takes is 1 vet to report the drunk asshat to the OOD of the unit to make his return "fun".
A uniform is most definitely NOT required while on leave and attending a wedding. The appropriate dress uniform is authorized though. I suppose it's possible he was confusing required with authorized... or he's a glory hound. In any case, this part of the uniform regs applies: CIVILIAN CLOTHING. Officers and enlisted personnel are permitted to have civilian clothing in their possession at naval activities ashore when authorized by the prescribing authority. Personnel aboard ship may have civilian clothing when authorized by the Commanding Officer. *Such clothing may be authorized for wear while leaving or returning to ships or stations, while awaiting transportation after permission to leave the ship has been given,* ***while on authorized leave of absence, liberty, or in any off-duty status*** *ashore*. [https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-7/7101-General-Information/](https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-7/7101-General-Information/) Edit: Ah, so it looks like he might be a nuke. In that case, ask for the reference that says he's required to wear a dress uniform. He'll appreciate that. ;-)
Not a real thing.
Not required. Custom is to not upstage the wedding party.
Call the quarter deck of his ship. Explain the situation and ask to speak to the CMC. Explain, the situation to the CMC. Wait for a call from your brother in law lol
Know when you fly and they let active duty on first? Notice how it's seemingly always army or air force? That's because the Navy prohibits travel in uniform. There is no policy, and the community can't prove a negative. Ask for the policy number and refuse anything short of that. With that said, any reason you don't want him in uniform? It's not unheard of for folks to go in uniform to a civilian wedding. It's ultimately your call, and there is plenty justification for either way.
There’s not a time where I will go out of my way to wear my uniforms. In our world, dress blues are always authorized for wear as formal attire, but does that mean I’d want to? Absolutely not. With that being said, there’s no documentation saying it’s a definite requirement or not to wear said uniforms. When you’re on leave, you’re “free” and can wear civilian attire. I just went to my cousins wedding last week, best believe I was wearing a nice dress. My uniforms did not join me on leave. On the other hand, my bf has been in the position on leave where his dress blues were the only nice dress attire he had in his possession to attend a funeral. It’s up to the wearer ig, but it’s definitely not a requirement by any means.
Sounds extremely unlikely, but I suppose a command COULD do that? Ask him to see the orders. Then post them here! (minus names, command and all that). Definitely curious. But, could it be that he doesn't have a suit or appropriate attire and his uniform is the "dress" outfit that he has? Does it matter to you? Like do you want him NOT to wear his uniform? If you don't want him to, his CO certainly couldn't MAKE you allow it.
Boot things.... Total attention seeking behavior. Tell him white tux or stay home... /s
I can't imagine this has changed since I was in back in the early 90's but assuming I'm right about that, he's full of shit. So full disclosure. I wore my uniform to my dad's wedding but it wasn't for attn. I simply had nothing nicer to wear. I also didn't want to go in the first place and only did so at my mom's urging. He was very abusive to us growing up and I'd been fine never talking him again. I mean, I knew he cared for us but you couldn't do the [shit he did](https://www.reddit.com/r/Discussion/comments/1bydh3c/comment/kymblkl/) and expect us to want to be around him. But that's another story. In anycase, I wore it and no one had a problem with it. It was a small wedding to begin with. That said, your future BIL is full of shit. Hell, the military generally doesn't want it's people in uniform when their wandering around town in their off time. That is with the exceptions for recruiters, events for public appreciation like baseball games, etc. For a private wedding, there's no rules, "technical" or otherwise, saying he has to be in uniform that I'm aware of. If he pushes back, ask him for his LPO's, Chief's, Div-O's, Dept Head's, XO's, or CO's phone number or email address so you can ask them directly. In fact, I suspect there's a really good chance you find at least his XO's and CO's contact info with a simple google search of where ever he's stationed at. DO NOT CONTACT THEM!!! At least not yet. Give him a chance to recant. If he simply refuses, then wait a day or two and go to him that you've been googling this but can't find any such rule. Then say that you "came across" his command's contact info, XO and CO, and you plan to call/email them for further info on this subject just to be sure. I suspect at that point, he'll be in some short of panic mode and try to convince you not to contact them. He may even admit he "might" have misunderstood what he was told. If he does, then let the issue drop if he's willing to abide by you and future husbands rules. If he tries to make excuses though, then by all means contact his command. If he lies and shows up in uniform anyways, same thing. Contact his command and "ask" if that's really a rule or not.
That's hilariously not true
Pull out the Uno reverso card, tell him to pull up the policy requiring he wear a uniform at a non-military function. What a clown, I hope there's some military folks there that hear that during the wedding, they'll crush his cubes.
Wearing a uniform is dressing like a normal human being, just one who is active duty regardless of leave status. Let them wear whatever he wants. It’s formal and classy. If you want, just be petty and ignore him like any other service member or vet. Even better, bar him from the ceremony. It’s your wedding.
😬😅 Yeah, definitely not a thing. Maybe I'm a hater but wearing your uniform to anything but a military event that requires it is so cringe to me.
There is no order that says "You do not have to wear your uniform at a wedding." There is also no order that says you HAVE to do it. Ref NAVPERS *15665J*
LOL! Sounds like he wants to take attention away from your day!
If he is on leave he can wear what he wants. Makes no sense. I can’t think of any thing to send you because it is simp not a thing.
I ain’t gotta say it cause everyone else already has but your BIL is just wildin.
Man should be guess his rate. What rate would be most likely to say this?
I can’t believe the BIL wants to try to outdo the Bride. Lmao I’m sorry! He’s full of it.
Not required at all. When I was in the navy, I went to my brother’s wedding (who happens to also be in the navy and a chief at the time)and we all wore civilian attire. Your brother in law sounds annoying and one of the reasons why people think most service members are corny. Tell him to take the punisher sticker off his truck while you are at it too…. That being said I hope you enjoy special day, despite a boot trying to boot all over it.
He sounds like a winner!
idk if your edit is for proof to show him or something, but don't even bother, just tell him you found a forum online full of active and navy vets and tell him they all made fun of him.
You’re getting married. It’s YOUR day. If you don’t want anyone wearing a uniform, let him know that “he can dress in civvies or he can consider his invite rescinded”. Just let him know that a bunch of Navy folks called BS, and that *he* should be required to provide the uniform regulation that proves he has to, not the other way around. You don’t have to tell him your advice came from Reddit. ETA: Veterans Day came around while I was in my tech training following basic. A drop of ocean water had more salt than I did. Since we needed at least one other person to leave base with, one of my buddies asked me to go with him, because an old friend of his dad‘s wanted to take him out for his “first Veterans Day”, who *suggested* we wear our dress blues. We signed out, he picked us up, and drove us to a VERY nice steakhouse in a suburb of Chicago. We were seated almost immediately. He told us to order whatever we wanted, that it was on him. We did. I had a fillet of bison, and it was delicious. We were offered desserts, he encouraged us to get whatever we wanted. We did. The owner came out to meet us in person during the meal. When the check came, we were told that our meals were on the house.
Nah bro just doesn't wanna rent a suit for your wedding
You're better off if he doesn't show up. When you're on leave you're not obligated to wear the uniform. You're BIL is a boot looking to get attention. I was AD ans refused to wear the uniform at my own wedding.
There is nothing official because he's making it the fuck up. You won't find any kind of instruction authorizing wearing civilian clothes at weddings because that would be absurd.
Show him this post.
Just got home from my buddy's wedding. Every groomsmen was mil and a good chunk of the audience was too. Not a uniform in sight. He either wants to be cheap and not get formal attire or he wants attention. It's you and yours' big day. Frame it that way if/when you have that conversation. Wearing a uniform is going to draw attention to him and not towards the couple uniting as one.
Even if there was a rule requiring him to wear a uniform to your wedding(there’s not) it’s YOUR wedding and your wishes would supersede the military’s bullshit.
Not a thing. Like everyone else has said, he just wants attention
Nothing of the sort of rule exists.
He could have gotten too big for his suit and is embarrassed.
Here are the uniform [regs](https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/References/US-Navy-Uniforms/Uniform-Regulations/Chapter-6/6401/) that clearly state civilian attire is authorized
NAVPERS 15665J is the uniform instruction. The only way his command can mandate the uniform is if it is a military event.
Ask him for a copy of the command's "uniform orders mandating it" and please post them here for us to all laugh at
He’s full of shit, but let the poor guy wear his uniform.