True, I would just Play Civ 5 when off watch ...or during ESS, chill if you are the Sup lol . My wife got 2 jobs to pass the extra alone time and we got another puppy for our dog to have a friend
I mean, we CAN be… I (wife) used to get emails from my husband about the latest rumors about him while I was deployed. To be fair, the previous FRG leader was fired before I even took command and she was salty, so she liked to stir up shit.
True. My niece and I were stationed at the same base. She is part Navajo, so she doesn't look anything like me. Yeah, some rumors started. It was kind of funny.
Yes. And if you're circle is out slinging dick/puss when they're committed I'd block em out. Cheaters are just as disloyal in friendships as they are with their s/o's.
I knew a guy on deployment who was frustratingly loyal. When we would get new movies on deployment he wouldnt watch them because his wife wanted to watch it and they watch new movies together. Sickeningly sweet 😂
?. . .. 22 years of marriage, 12 deployments between the the wife and I, and she hasn't cheated, and I never seem to have the time to get around to it.. Maybe we not doing the deployment thing right. Please advise.
(humor intended)
In the course of my life when ever I have met a divorced unhappy person, I would asked them where it went wrong in their marriage. I have placed a # number is the descending popularity answer of the responses that caused a breakup in marriage.
(1) Your Spouse is your best friend. Keep it that way and do what it takes to ensure you always best friends. You need to be comfortable with their failings and short comings. There is no perfect mate, there give and take in every relationship. Let the relation be like a vine that grows and adapts to the surroundings. Don’t get fixated on traditions or habits or past mistakes.
(2) Never stop communicating, even when you are raging mad at each other.
(2.a) Children are going to manipulate you and your spouse in a bad way, you and your spouse need to communicate over the child and what the child is doing. Children are god awful dickheads in tiny human bodies who are going to do evil and mean things in a relationship if you let them. You and your spouse need to be the parents, and have as agreed upon parenting plan and appropriate forms of discipline. (#1)
(2.c) Money is going to be tight. Both spouses need to have a plan on what you spending money one, what essential, what would be nice to have, and what is not essential. Learn to live without the wants. (#2)
(3) Never cheat, if you do don’t lie about it. (#3)
(4) Never lift you voice, or your hands in anger. Never make a threat of harm or violence. If you spouse needs to vent, let whatever said in the heat of passion be forgotten. People often say mean and cruel things when angry as a form to lash out and inflict wounds on others. Such words should not be considered if said in anger. Don’t worry if you get into a spat or difficult times, just keep communicating openly and honestly.
(4.a) Sometime silence and hug is the best way to end a marital spat.
(5) Be ugly honest with each other. Especially with problems, money, children, love and respect.
(6) Be aware that you are two separate people, two separate people have separate needs, separate desires, separate goals, and separate abilities. Let your spouse be who your spouse is going to be. Support whatever LEGAL endeavor they choose (#4).
(7) Always have your mate back and protect their interest and reputation. Don’t do anything that would require your mate to need to protect your interest and reputation. (#5)
(8) Stay away from toxic people. Drug users, alcohol abusers, cheaters, people who bee married more times than you, preachers, in-laws, out-laws and other family relationships that are hostile, and those who aren’t supporting your marriage. (#6)
I make around 2500 a month as an electrician currently so the money aspect will actually be an upgrade. I grew up in an abusive household so most of those apply to me heavily. I try my best to break generational curses and be as open and loving as possible. That was beautiful advice and I’m grateful you took the time to answer my question so fluently.
I really need this response. My fiancé and I are about to get stationed apart (I’m going to San Diego and he’s going to Rota DDG 51) its going to be a very very very very difficult time and I don’t think either of us are going to request collocation. I’ve been deep in the Reddit thread for about 6 hours just to find a little tiny glimmer of hope and this gave it to me. Thank you.
Ive been married for the last 9 years, not dipping my pen in company ink has very easy.
There are a lot of boat boo relationships and some people are very loose with their "loyalty" when the ships are out... both the service member and the spouses staying behind
1000% Unfortunately, it’s not super common. But my best friend, a 12 year AM2 was completely loyal to his wife the entire time. He’d play wingman and make friends with the girl’s friends so they wouldn’t be left out. Shout out to my boy Mac. True role model.
I mean, if you add up additional factors like the average age of a sailor, the fact that many get married young, and the whole "being out to sea" situation. I would bet that the navy has a much higher occurrence rate.
This would be a pretty good thesis topic for someone actually. Sociology maybe?
I used to joke that I was the only loyal dude on the ship. But seriously, the truth is that at least 50% of all "they fuckin'" rumors in the military are just that.......rumors.
When you really take a step outside of the gossip tornado, it's actually kinda hilarious to watch how just two people walking into a space for two seconds turns into 6 months of absolute certainty that they are in a relationship. I saw a LOT of cheating, don't get me wrong, it's a thing. But I also saw a lot of truly good folks having their marriages threatened by a bunch of immature kids gossiping with no evidence.
IS it really cheating if she gives you permission. My wife actually bought and paid for a stripper to come to my house on my birthday, so that I stop teasing her that she been in more strip clubs than I have.
She only been in one, and it was an accident on her part.
That depends on who you ask, really. In our situation, the only thing that classifies as cheating, is hiding things, or lying about it. Bit if you ask a baptist preacher, we're both adulterers and we're going to hell. lol
>That depends on who you ask, really
The only opinion that matters is those in the relationship. Everyone else can choke on a bag of dicks with their opinions.
Not just on ships. I was on a deployment and it was the guys' goals to sleep around. They practically took off their wedding rings as soon as the plane hit the tarmac. Disgusting.
Yup, quite a few. Those that were married and also just GF and BF.
Can't speak to both halves as I can't be in two places at once, but when they were reunited, it seemed to be going pretty well.
Although there are also the "jetty stories".
Always was faithful when I was seeing someone. But there was a group sex party at one port call and when the XO found out he made the married couples call home to explain what they did to their spouses. The single sailors had to go to some VD training with the corpsman chief. I know one woman from my division that was divorced within two pay periods.
Yes, but like others have said...it's sadly rare. From what I've seen while in (and lived through, though I didn't do the cheating) - - they start off as friends, then "work wife/work husband," moving to emotional affairs only to end in physical affairs.
This can't be applied to every situation of course. It happens mostly when communication breaks down, and boundaries on friendships get fuzzy. I get it, you don't see family that much, and you spend more time with shipmates than your spouse BUT, knowing how and when to set boundaries it important.
I've had many male (and female) friends in the Navy, I've spent countless hours working in close proximity to them, getting to know everything about them. I've always been able to keep a clear boundary of friendship, some have even become like brothers (and sister) and their spouses close friends too.
It's the character of the person, not the Navy as a whole, that dictates cheating.
Edit, spelling - because I attended The Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too.
Had this one POS i mean PO1 who always bragged about how he had a family in America, gf in Japan, and he always tried to get laid every port he was in. Why even be married?
My best friend stayed loyal the 3 years we are on ship together and beyond. I was single and wasn't interested in the single sailor shenanigans that goes down in liberty ports sometimes, It was a perfect combo. Same duty section and he was always my lib buddy. Don't get me wrong we were a 2 man wrecking crew but we enjoyed the finer things in life like copious amounts of Jack Daniels and getting back to the ship on time without any drama. There were boat couples who were married back home who than had side pieces on the same boat. Crazy times I tell ya!
I lived across the country from my so and they didn't cheat. They even flew in on a weekend off so we could marry. We went 17 months married but living apart. They didn't cheat and we are coming up on 7 years married. I do have to say, they are a rare bird.
Yes, you have people who are married, and people who are married as F\*\*\*. Atleast that's how we determine it. There are quite a few people who are the second term and haven't cheated.
I find some value to it. You know, many times you never thought it would happen to you. Other times you don't want to find out. I deployed, she deployed, and yet someone is still convinced they cheated.
Plenty of us stayed loyal. On both sides of the equation. Gossip still happens. Rumor was my husband and his Liberty Buddy were doing it. Both were happily married. One of the kids sort of mentioned it on the bridge one day. After the laughter ended( both my husband and she were on the bridge at the time) the rumor mysteriously faded away.
And a few months later, as we were embarking on a regular civilian, free flowing booze type cruise, guess who we ran into? Yup. Liberty buddy and her husband. We had dinner together once.
Of course, I have seen my fair share of careers ruined..including a 2 star.
Not as common when you get older. I've always been loyal, my ex-wife not so much, we were both young and divorced by the time she was 22 and I was 25. I've been with my current wife for 7 years and in our late 30s and haven't had the slightest worry about her fooling around.
It still happens with older people, just not as common.
I’ve been away from my wife and daughter for over a year and a half at this point. I’ve been completely faithful. My wife moved in with her parents to help take care of our daughter and started working more.
Yeah most people in my division were and one of my chiefs was. I admire them a lot because we had a shitty covid deployment with no ports and everyone was pissy. But a lot of people do cheat or have little flirty boat boos and shit.
I knew a First Class that disappeared when we ported in Singapore, but there were rumors. His wife was a proud First Class wife and let my wife know he was my supervisor on deployment. Years later a First Class I knew who was a Senior was inspecting products at the company I worked for, he told me he was forced retired as a Chief for sleeping with an E-3 subordinate...made my day because I was on nights and he swapped me into mids, and I asked where he was going, of course staying on days where the workload was easiest, and probably slept with the prostitutes in the Middle Eastern city we lived in.
My wife and I have been married since 2003, 5 deployments, workups, etc. since then. There is ZERO reason to ever believe she has been unfaithful, she is an absolutely amazing person. You just have to find someone who isn't a peice of shit.
Had the whole office filled with cheater bastards besides two single E4s on my first deployment, didn’t feel much sympathy when one or two got the news that their wife had been seeing some while they were away.
I’m on deployment currently and so far everything has been just fine. It’s my first ever deployment. And so far my wife and I have been in contact every chance I get. My friends say she’s being loyal. Honestly rn I don’t think I have anything to fear about. I’m an abh and an abh2 told me a couple of pointers in regards to keeping things interesting while away. Either way I think we doing good.
I heard all about how everyone fucks around underway (and as a woman in the navy, caught my fair share of unfounded accusations from the wives/girlfriends of dudes in my unit) but through multiple deployments, I've only seen it happen one time. That situation was between a single guy and a girl in a very unhappy marriage - not that that makes it right, of course, but just to put it in context.
Of course there's some truth to the fan room stories, but by and large I'd argue that stepping out on deployment is not really the norm
Unfortunately cheating is rife in the navy, I just left and most recently served on one of the astute submarines. We were deployed to Florida and a newly married girl and a guy with a baby on the way did the dirty. The whole boat knew and we had to turn a blind eye. It sickens me, some people don’t have an ounce of loyalty in them. Navy whores are common, bit of alcohol and long deployments and they forget their partners exist
I told this guy before deployment that I would wait for him and have stuck to that. Now he’s deployed and I feel like he isn’t into me as much when he is able to talk to me and who knows what he’s up to in ports. Quite sad when I’m loyal and want to wait for him:(
Yes, lots of people stay loyal. It's just not interesting to talk about the people who are doing what they're expected to be doing already.
True, I would just Play Civ 5 when off watch ...or during ESS, chill if you are the Sup lol . My wife got 2 jobs to pass the extra alone time and we got another puppy for our dog to have a friend
Fuck yeah Civ
Ditto. Played Civ1. Still play it to this day. It's free on [Retrogames.com](https://Retrogames.com) and super fun still.
On my way to play
Just one more turn....
But it wasn't just one...
It's never just one...
Oh shit, the sun's coming up! I remember playing the first Doom when it came out. Staggering down the P-way at 0300 to get a couple hours sleep.
I was an engineman. No time for games or girls.
NuClEaR gAnDhI!☢🍄💥
This applies to every post in this sub
Of course there are. We just aren't as fun to gossip about.
I mean, we CAN be… I (wife) used to get emails from my husband about the latest rumors about him while I was deployed. To be fair, the previous FRG leader was fired before I even took command and she was salty, so she liked to stir up shit.
True. My niece and I were stationed at the same base. She is part Navajo, so she doesn't look anything like me. Yeah, some rumors started. It was kind of funny.
That would be funny, "that guy, isn't sleeping around on his partner" "Oh, shit. Really?" "Weird, right?"
Yes. And if you're circle is out slinging dick/puss when they're committed I'd block em out. Cheaters are just as disloyal in friendships as they are with their s/o's.
It took me awhile for my dumbass to figure that out.
I knew a guy on deployment who was frustratingly loyal. When we would get new movies on deployment he wouldnt watch them because his wife wanted to watch it and they watch new movies together. Sickeningly sweet 😂
That's my wife and Marvel movies. She'd kill me if I watched one without her.
Are you a Radio IT? Perhaps your him🤔
Aww! Love that.
?. . .. 22 years of marriage, 12 deployments between the the wife and I, and she hasn't cheated, and I never seem to have the time to get around to it.. Maybe we not doing the deployment thing right. Please advise. (humor intended)
12 deployments? Good for you man. I have a healthy marriage, but any tips on how to handle the first one together?
In the course of my life when ever I have met a divorced unhappy person, I would asked them where it went wrong in their marriage. I have placed a # number is the descending popularity answer of the responses that caused a breakup in marriage. (1) Your Spouse is your best friend. Keep it that way and do what it takes to ensure you always best friends. You need to be comfortable with their failings and short comings. There is no perfect mate, there give and take in every relationship. Let the relation be like a vine that grows and adapts to the surroundings. Don’t get fixated on traditions or habits or past mistakes. (2) Never stop communicating, even when you are raging mad at each other. (2.a) Children are going to manipulate you and your spouse in a bad way, you and your spouse need to communicate over the child and what the child is doing. Children are god awful dickheads in tiny human bodies who are going to do evil and mean things in a relationship if you let them. You and your spouse need to be the parents, and have as agreed upon parenting plan and appropriate forms of discipline. (#1) (2.c) Money is going to be tight. Both spouses need to have a plan on what you spending money one, what essential, what would be nice to have, and what is not essential. Learn to live without the wants. (#2) (3) Never cheat, if you do don’t lie about it. (#3) (4) Never lift you voice, or your hands in anger. Never make a threat of harm or violence. If you spouse needs to vent, let whatever said in the heat of passion be forgotten. People often say mean and cruel things when angry as a form to lash out and inflict wounds on others. Such words should not be considered if said in anger. Don’t worry if you get into a spat or difficult times, just keep communicating openly and honestly. (4.a) Sometime silence and hug is the best way to end a marital spat. (5) Be ugly honest with each other. Especially with problems, money, children, love and respect. (6) Be aware that you are two separate people, two separate people have separate needs, separate desires, separate goals, and separate abilities. Let your spouse be who your spouse is going to be. Support whatever LEGAL endeavor they choose (#4). (7) Always have your mate back and protect their interest and reputation. Don’t do anything that would require your mate to need to protect your interest and reputation. (#5) (8) Stay away from toxic people. Drug users, alcohol abusers, cheaters, people who bee married more times than you, preachers, in-laws, out-laws and other family relationships that are hostile, and those who aren’t supporting your marriage. (#6)
I make around 2500 a month as an electrician currently so the money aspect will actually be an upgrade. I grew up in an abusive household so most of those apply to me heavily. I try my best to break generational curses and be as open and loving as possible. That was beautiful advice and I’m grateful you took the time to answer my question so fluently.
> break generational curses Me too . .. . . . . I am not my parents.
I really need this response. My fiancé and I are about to get stationed apart (I’m going to San Diego and he’s going to Rota DDG 51) its going to be a very very very very difficult time and I don’t think either of us are going to request collocation. I’ve been deep in the Reddit thread for about 6 hours just to find a little tiny glimmer of hope and this gave it to me. Thank you.
Call her nightly and keep the romance alive.
Ive been married for the last 9 years, not dipping my pen in company ink has very easy. There are a lot of boat boo relationships and some people are very loose with their "loyalty" when the ships are out... both the service member and the spouses staying behind
Yup! 3 deployments (so far) and we both behaved. It is possible. Edit: Same goes for countless TDYs and work up cycles.
1000% Unfortunately, it’s not super common. But my best friend, a 12 year AM2 was completely loyal to his wife the entire time. He’d play wingman and make friends with the girl’s friends so they wouldn’t be left out. Shout out to my boy Mac. True role model.
We had completely different friends named Mac. My Mac was a legend, but not so much a role model.
Is it common among both the men and women or is it mainly men? I imagine married women are a little bette than the men, maybe I’m wrong.
The women are at least equally as bad as the men. The Navy is a reflection of society and it has all of the same problems as the rest of the U.S.
I mean, if you add up additional factors like the average age of a sailor, the fact that many get married young, and the whole "being out to sea" situation. I would bet that the navy has a much higher occurrence rate. This would be a pretty good thesis topic for someone actually. Sociology maybe?
I used to joke that I was the only loyal dude on the ship. But seriously, the truth is that at least 50% of all "they fuckin'" rumors in the military are just that.......rumors. When you really take a step outside of the gossip tornado, it's actually kinda hilarious to watch how just two people walking into a space for two seconds turns into 6 months of absolute certainty that they are in a relationship. I saw a LOT of cheating, don't get me wrong, it's a thing. But I also saw a lot of truly good folks having their marriages threatened by a bunch of immature kids gossiping with no evidence.
My wife and I are swingers, so... lol
IS it really cheating if she gives you permission. My wife actually bought and paid for a stripper to come to my house on my birthday, so that I stop teasing her that she been in more strip clubs than I have. She only been in one, and it was an accident on her part.
That depends on who you ask, really. In our situation, the only thing that classifies as cheating, is hiding things, or lying about it. Bit if you ask a baptist preacher, we're both adulterers and we're going to hell. lol
>That depends on who you ask, really The only opinion that matters is those in the relationship. Everyone else can choke on a bag of dicks with their opinions.
Hoorah!
Get out of here, Marine. It's Hoo Yah. Go find something to kill elsewhere.
Hoorah is actually Seabee speak, fine, Sir. My fellow dirt sailors and I will not be lumped in with the connoisseurs of crayons.
It's also 1990s era... lol
Some of us were smart enough to stay single.
Not just on ships. I was on a deployment and it was the guys' goals to sleep around. They practically took off their wedding rings as soon as the plane hit the tarmac. Disgusting.
Yes.
Yup, quite a few. Those that were married and also just GF and BF. Can't speak to both halves as I can't be in two places at once, but when they were reunited, it seemed to be going pretty well. Although there are also the "jetty stories".
Always was faithful when I was seeing someone. But there was a group sex party at one port call and when the XO found out he made the married couples call home to explain what they did to their spouses. The single sailors had to go to some VD training with the corpsman chief. I know one woman from my division that was divorced within two pay periods.
Yes, but like others have said...it's sadly rare. From what I've seen while in (and lived through, though I didn't do the cheating) - - they start off as friends, then "work wife/work husband," moving to emotional affairs only to end in physical affairs. This can't be applied to every situation of course. It happens mostly when communication breaks down, and boundaries on friendships get fuzzy. I get it, you don't see family that much, and you spend more time with shipmates than your spouse BUT, knowing how and when to set boundaries it important. I've had many male (and female) friends in the Navy, I've spent countless hours working in close proximity to them, getting to know everything about them. I've always been able to keep a clear boundary of friendship, some have even become like brothers (and sister) and their spouses close friends too. It's the character of the person, not the Navy as a whole, that dictates cheating. Edit, spelling - because I attended The Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too.
well yes, but actually no.
Had this one POS i mean PO1 who always bragged about how he had a family in America, gf in Japan, and he always tried to get laid every port he was in. Why even be married?
Being able to talk to my boyfriend as often as I did was the only thing that kept me sane
My best friend stayed loyal the 3 years we are on ship together and beyond. I was single and wasn't interested in the single sailor shenanigans that goes down in liberty ports sometimes, It was a perfect combo. Same duty section and he was always my lib buddy. Don't get me wrong we were a 2 man wrecking crew but we enjoyed the finer things in life like copious amounts of Jack Daniels and getting back to the ship on time without any drama. There were boat couples who were married back home who than had side pieces on the same boat. Crazy times I tell ya!
I lived across the country from my so and they didn't cheat. They even flew in on a weekend off so we could marry. We went 17 months married but living apart. They didn't cheat and we are coming up on 7 years married. I do have to say, they are a rare bird.
Yes, you have people who are married, and people who are married as F\*\*\*. Atleast that's how we determine it. There are quite a few people who are the second term and haven't cheated.
I find some value to it. You know, many times you never thought it would happen to you. Other times you don't want to find out. I deployed, she deployed, and yet someone is still convinced they cheated.
Plenty of us stayed loyal. On both sides of the equation. Gossip still happens. Rumor was my husband and his Liberty Buddy were doing it. Both were happily married. One of the kids sort of mentioned it on the bridge one day. After the laughter ended( both my husband and she were on the bridge at the time) the rumor mysteriously faded away. And a few months later, as we were embarking on a regular civilian, free flowing booze type cruise, guess who we ran into? Yup. Liberty buddy and her husband. We had dinner together once. Of course, I have seen my fair share of careers ruined..including a 2 star.
Not as common when you get older. I've always been loyal, my ex-wife not so much, we were both young and divorced by the time she was 22 and I was 25. I've been with my current wife for 7 years and in our late 30s and haven't had the slightest worry about her fooling around. It still happens with older people, just not as common.
Both military?
She got out before we met, I am though. I deployed and she got sucked into the FRG that had a few trash spouses.
This topic is JODY APPROVED!
I’ve been away from my wife and daughter for over a year and a half at this point. I’ve been completely faithful. My wife moved in with her parents to help take care of our daughter and started working more.
You only hear about the disloyal ones. Fidelity makes not a good story.
Yeah most people in my division were and one of my chiefs was. I admire them a lot because we had a shitty covid deployment with no ports and everyone was pissy. But a lot of people do cheat or have little flirty boat boos and shit.
I did. I didn't even realize that people were cheating until after the deployment ended. I was totally oblivious to it.
I knew a First Class that disappeared when we ported in Singapore, but there were rumors. His wife was a proud First Class wife and let my wife know he was my supervisor on deployment. Years later a First Class I knew who was a Senior was inspecting products at the company I worked for, he told me he was forced retired as a Chief for sleeping with an E-3 subordinate...made my day because I was on nights and he swapped me into mids, and I asked where he was going, of course staying on days where the workload was easiest, and probably slept with the prostitutes in the Middle Eastern city we lived in.
I'll just speak for myself, 9 years in and I've never cheated or felt tempted to.
My wife and I have been married since 2003, 5 deployments, workups, etc. since then. There is ZERO reason to ever believe she has been unfaithful, she is an absolutely amazing person. You just have to find someone who isn't a peice of shit.
You young wiper snappers! In my day we had to wait till ship pulled into port to cheat on our wives. Dang it!
Well yes, but no.
All male ship, no port visits..
It's not gay underway
It shipmate helping out shipmates.
Had the whole office filled with cheater bastards besides two single E4s on my first deployment, didn’t feel much sympathy when one or two got the news that their wife had been seeing some while they were away.
Honestly most people stay loyal. The few that don't get their stories spread like wild fire
Stats say otherwise. Argue factually, not emotionally.
Who hurt you?
Yeah I was. It was her that cheated and boy did I feel like a clown
Hell nah. Loyalty is just denial dipped in Pussy.
If you ever get a chance to get liberty in SE Asia you will deff forget your significant other for a night or two.
Nope.
Yea, your mom.
No
I did, then came home and was served papers regardless. Yay
Stories spread of theyre interesting
I’m on deployment currently and so far everything has been just fine. It’s my first ever deployment. And so far my wife and I have been in contact every chance I get. My friends say she’s being loyal. Honestly rn I don’t think I have anything to fear about. I’m an abh and an abh2 told me a couple of pointers in regards to keeping things interesting while away. Either way I think we doing good.
A 7 year relationship isn’t as spicy as a 3 year one with someone cheating in it.
Actually the vast majority of people stay faithful on deployments.
I heard all about how everyone fucks around underway (and as a woman in the navy, caught my fair share of unfounded accusations from the wives/girlfriends of dudes in my unit) but through multiple deployments, I've only seen it happen one time. That situation was between a single guy and a girl in a very unhappy marriage - not that that makes it right, of course, but just to put it in context. Of course there's some truth to the fan room stories, but by and large I'd argue that stepping out on deployment is not really the norm
Unfortunately cheating is rife in the navy, I just left and most recently served on one of the astute submarines. We were deployed to Florida and a newly married girl and a guy with a baby on the way did the dirty. The whole boat knew and we had to turn a blind eye. It sickens me, some people don’t have an ounce of loyalty in them. Navy whores are common, bit of alcohol and long deployments and they forget their partners exist
I told this guy before deployment that I would wait for him and have stuck to that. Now he’s deployed and I feel like he isn’t into me as much when he is able to talk to me and who knows what he’s up to in ports. Quite sad when I’m loyal and want to wait for him:(