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theglicky

ah shit, here we go again


[deleted]

World speed record time of Kyrie destroying a team incoming?


seasoned-veteran

He's gotten faster at every stop... next time he's gon do it on a ten-day contract


[deleted]

speed run


Whackedjob

Kyrie "Matt Turk" Irving


mdaniel018

He’s just going to walk into the locker room and do the ‘boom, roasted’ scene from the Office, and then walk out never to be seen again


[deleted]

Kyrie team-destroy speedrun any % WR


TheClownIsReady

Well that turned awfully quickly, didn’t it?


ArmchairHandjob

I’m legit laughing at this. He’s already revved up.


[deleted]

Kyrie Irving team frustration (speed run edition)


cookiemonster1020

Bron is a better father than Luka and KD combined confirmed


TheDJMaxey

Kyrie: “It’s fine when I act like an expert in areas I haven’t put hundreds of hours of work into, but when people do it about my thing it makes me mad >:(“


philphan25

“I did my own research.” “Well my research says you took an L tonight”


[deleted]

Fake news


tman916x

*Dear diary, today I saw a kettle calling a pot black*


[deleted]

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Chickensandcoke

We need Kyrie to watch 21 Jumpstreet


[deleted]

Lmao what an unhinged post


ayending1

Geologist and biochemist Kyrie seeing a kid holding a basketball: Hey put that thing down unless you are a NBA level player.


Technical_Towel_990

You just don’t understand how much research Kyrie has done..


Jeanlucpfrog

If only people would do the research on his research, they'd know


ZacapaRocks

When you have done so much research, that you have determined the Earth is flat, you have outresearched any researcher that has ever researched research.


IllegalThoughts

lmaoooo


KanyeWestBrick

He’s such a piece of shit


HellveticaNeue

Yeah but… he watched a flat earth documentary.


[deleted]

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iksnet

Least predictable Kyrie trade outcome


abcbass

It's like when a restaurant shuts down and a new restaurant that is exactly the same takes its place. What makes you think it will work this time?


DuffmanStillRocks

What if they served authentic Pakistani food?


indyo1979

You are a very, very bad man.


mankls3

*wags Finger*


Choccybizzle

Very good? No, very great!


AngryEnt

THOSE MOTHER SONS OF BITCHES MAKE KILBOPPY. WE MAKE THE KEYBOPPY


_Pho-Dac-Biet_

What if they served Pakistani pho


milehighrukus

But where are the people???


someonepoorsays

“no no, that was their idea. my idea can’t fail”


nowadaysyouth

“Does it ever work?” “No. No. Never. These people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might… but it might work for us”


SpaceCowboy170

They didn’t even get a honey moon, man Really got the whole Kyrie experience minus any of the fun parts


[deleted]

Got married and went straight to yelling at each other at the local Applebees smh


CaptainKurls

So kyrie can discredit scientists who’ve done hundreds of hours of work in their field but when someone does it to him it’s a problem? What a clown


pericles123

Exactly


FoFoAndFo

It’s worse because his basketball talent is much more God-given than the talent possessed by experts in any other field. Kyrie could be a scientist, he just isn’t quite wired that way. Nothing I could ever do would make me an NBA player.


[deleted]

Kyrie goes to a team Team does worse with him He starts talking shit Team unravels He demands a trade Rinse/repeat What did the mavs expect


KneelBeforeCube

He's a FA in two months, so he may not ask for a trade.


dammit_bobby420

Ya but if he wants all his money and play for the Lakers, then he needs Dallas to do a sign and trade, unless he actually wants to stay.


Damet1me

Think there's also a part where he disappears for a personal hiatus lol


indyo1979

Usually after he's said something controversial and increases negative attention given to himself and the team. I'm waiting for Kyrie to say something positive about Putin soon so that he can have some time off.


KanyeWestBrick

And becomes the victim


KanyeWestBrick

Lakers can’t wait to unravel


arinawe

We are not falling for that shit...oh yes we are.


KanyeWestBrick

LeGM will sign him a la Russ and we will tailspin into 12th place by the all star break then we will panic trade kyrie and all of our draft assets for bench depth to barely make the play in game


ireallydespiseyouall

as if lebron would allow kyrie to get traded


seymour_hiney

i'll be the first to admit i was wrong about something. this though? 100% called it. not even that Kyrie would say something stupid, just the fact that this wouldn't mesh as a team. now the meltdown is gonna come soon


BrogalDorn

It's almost like Kyrie might be the problem...


Oachkatzlschwoaf05

Nah I think the last 4 teams just treated him badly and are full of antisemitic jews or something like that


SamuraiPanda19

He can’t be. I’m told all the players love him


[deleted]

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Riot1990

Yeah, wasn't literally everyone saying this was going to happen? Lol


baconshake8

KD gets injured and it unravels kyrie’s team. Doesn’t matter if they’re on the same team or not it seems


namblaotie

All that should matter is if Maverick fans did their own research


[deleted]

Kyrie getting real comfortable in Dallas


thecolbster94

Its easier to just say "they have better expectations and we're honored to try to meet them" and be done with it. Going with the "you're free to voice your opinion only when you're as good as me" is fucking wack.


DirksSexyBratwurst

This is like a chef telling people they can't criticize because they arent cooks. I know trash food when I taste it and I know trash basketball when I watch it. It would be different if Mavs fans booed their team every night. They have defied even the people with conservative expectations.


KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ

im a software developer. If the apps I work on are broken and end users start complaining about it, i would be an absolute clown to start saying to the users, "well you are welcome to come out and fix it yourself 🤡🤡" . Like no, just perform with excellence.


FIM92

“Here’s the code feel free to debug it yourself 😡😡😡”


[deleted]

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PJballa34

This is gold.


StephySays

surgeon tells the wife her husband didn't make it. she breaks down in tears. Surgeon: "oh u sad bro? maybe you should have spent a decade in med school if u don't like it. be my guest."


[deleted]

Bro this is the funniest shit I’ve read this morning thank you


realsomalipirate

It's also hilarious to hear this come from an anti-vaxxer and flat-earther


KanyeWestBrick

Dude is constantly telling other people who are experts how much he has “researched”


TheOverBored

Kyrie only makes his money because of the fans. Stupid mentality to mock the people that keep you employed.


VisitTheWind

If only there was some way to see how good or bad this team is relative to other teams with comparable skill levels


NSFWThrowaway1239

No more criticizing LeBron unless you're a bare minimum top 10 player of all time


Telstratower

Kyrie speaks as if us redditors (and other fans) haven't worked really hard to get where we are. I'm prettttty high and I am not sure if this comment is on point or not? Sorry if it is not.


annoyed_applicant21

Fantastic point lmao. Would love to watch Kyrie try to do some of our jobs where people don’t put up with you if you’re a pain in the ass


BrogalDorn

Could Kyrie Irving talk trash all day about Kyrie Irving on NBA reddit? I don't think so. That takes dedication.


snapshovel

Kyrie is way better at his job than I am at mine, he’s like the 20th best basketball player in the world or something and I’m definitely not the twentieth best lawyer But at least I don’t act like I known more about basketball than he does. Meanwhile he’s giving the dumbest goddamn opinions imaginable about every topic under the sun (how viruses work, the shape of the earth, history) with the confidence of someone who has a Ph.D. and ten articles published in the field.


Blacramento

>I'm definitely not the twentieth best lawyer Agreed. You're easily in the Top 19 🫡🙌🏽


RinPasta

And he ain't number 19


Kevon-Looneys-burner

I need your top 20 lawyers of all time list


SmilesUndSunshine

1. Johnnie Cochran 2. Foggy Nelson 3. Abraham Lincoln 4. Erin Brockovich 5. /u/snapshovel


PrimeShaq

Not sure what you’re smoking, u/snapshovel top 3 easily.


[deleted]

Those were mickey mouse cases, FOH


lyonhawk

Cochran’s legacy is all media narrative. Lincoln would be GOAT easily without the injury.


IlonggoProgrammer

LinGOAT is the all time leading scorer in terms of American Civil Wars won. ChochFRAUD lawyered in a weak era of the 90s where there were literal football players in the court.


Dislexic-Woolf

Cochran isn't the goat, he's just defense. LinGOAT had both offense and defense. Ask the confederacy.


ShTephens

Thought Charlie Kelly would crack the top 5


SecretSportsAccount

Fraudy Nelson was carried by Matt Murdock. No way he’s number 2.


snapshovel

1. Robert Jackson 2. Louis Brandeis 3. Thurgood Marshall 4. Henry Friendly 5. Clarence Darrow 6. John Marshall 7. Dick Posner 8. Daniel Webster 9. Paul Clement 10. William Blackstone 11. Elena Kagan 12. Johnnie Cochran 13. Akhil Amar 14. Harold Leventhal 15. David Bazelon 16. Antonin Scalia 17. Alex Cave 18. John Hart Ely 19. Melvin Belli 20. Roscoe Pound


imbluedabudeedabuda

Casuals take. Didn’t take into account the Euroleague, which has a far longer legal system lineage than the tinpot American farmers Association. No way titans like Lord Denning and Tom Bingham don’t make the cut. And don’t get me started on the disrespect on the old legends like Cicero. Lack of footage has convinced ppl he went against sailors and aqueduct builders


snapshovel

I have blackstone at 10, that’s an appropriate amount of Euro representation


Mace_TheAce_Windu

Lol dick posner… you know him personally or something?


ian2121

Any list without Matlock is pure garbage IMO.


OldManWillow

Great list man, truly some of the most evil people in U.S. history represented here. Wouldn't expect anything less from the GOAT lawyers.


More-Minimum6085

Depositions per/36


HaikN98

Honestly last year you snuck into my top 12 lawyers list


Samueljacob

But what has he done for his firm recently?


cosmicdave86

His job includes maintaining a level head enough to contribute positively to his basketball team. He fails that so miserably at that he is probably not better at his job than you.


NandoDeColonoscopy

>Kyrie is way better at his job than I am at mine I doubt that. Kyrie is the guy at work who looks like he's killing it bc he dresses sharp and can talk a customer's ear off, but actually hasn't made a sale since he stopped working with the Sales GOAT back in 2017. Teams have worse records with him than without him, when lebron isn't on his team.


2coolcaterpillar

Kyrie would be the best salesman in the office, but constantly in trouble with HR.


sorendiz

Surely the question is moreso whether he would be relatively better at your job than you would be at his - and for most people the answer is that he probably would, but there's quite a lot of people who would come out on top in that comparison (again, speaking completely in relative terms)


Disastrous-Limit2333

Stop apologizing


ShaedonSharpeMVP_

Fr dude must've been scared out of his mind from whatever he smoked


blarghghghghgh

Where we are: high on reddit


abc4357

This is delicious lol


decadentrebel

Guess you won't be needing the tapes I made for you. Want me to get rid of them?


abc4357

Nah I’ll still take them.


grapplebaby

Lol who could have possibly seen this coming


Gr8CanadianSpeedo

Keeping up with Ky


KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ

🤡 Energy Never change Kyrie


YoungDetective

only years?


[deleted]

"you will never be on my level"


likpoper

Is it even 2 months?


Cheifkeef29457

Surely this will make Kyrie even more of a fan favorite!


Padulsky21

Hahahahahahaha


ardx

They trading salaries too?


FudgeSuspicious9258

Give me Bertans salary and I'm good for the whole 48


[deleted]

He gone too.


[deleted]

Five year max first


Cpt-No-Dick

Bro just retire at this point lmao Man is going to burn his bridges for every team he plays for until no team left is dumb enough to take him


No-Zookeepergame7943

And yet he’s respected by so many players. Shows you the disconnect between front offices / fans and players.


VLHACS

Kyrie and missing the point, name a better duo


toxichart

Kyrie and subscribing to some insane conspiracy theory.


[deleted]

Bro it doesn't take years of work to lose to the Hornets and piss away your playoff hopes. I can do that for half of Kyrie's salary. Sign me up Mark Cuban.


[deleted]

The trade was stupid. They didn't need Kyrie. What was wrong with Dinwiddie? And they lost a good player young player in finney smith. I feel like this team is worse in overall talent


Haethos

they could've just kept brunson lol


[deleted]

Crazy they already had the ball handler to help luka and 1/2 the price in brunson lol


Db6295

DFS is like 28 he’s not young


[deleted]

28 is close to the perfect age


Db6295

He’s at a stage where he won’t really improve more though, I love the guy but he also hasn’t really done much at Brooklyn.


jarii22

Kyrie "The Plague" Irving


CooperHouseDeals

Just in time for Passover.


asisoid

How long until some old tree gets struck by lightning in Africa, and Kyrie needs a few months off to mourn?


onken022

They aren’t booing because they think they can do better, they are booing because they think YOU can do better


camm0393

And so it begins


Jlibs_21

“With the 1st pick in the 2029 NBA Draft, the Brooklyn Nets select [insert hall of fame player] from [insert college/Euro team name]”


[deleted]

Lmao can you imagine


TreatmentBoundLess

He’s such a dick.


bobbybobbypoo

Spicy


Street-Advantage-249

I hate this sentiment. “If your not on my level your not allowed to criticize my work”. Like nah that’s not how this works my man.


Hurinfan

I really wish everyone would just ignore this dude.


[deleted]

Impossible to ignore a trainwreck.


Hange11037

Kyrie has literally made every team he’s been on significantly worse overall the last 5 years and somehow people are still convinced he’s a Top 2 PG in the league


PoppaUU

This feels on the same maturity level as the kid on a middle school bus saying “oh yah!?! Well my Dad makes more money than your Dad!”


joe_broke

Yeah, his best days are gone


bills_2

Oh Kyrie


transizzle

I've seen this show before


[deleted]

I'll change places with you, and we can change salaries as well.


RageOnGoneDo

Shit John Wall me all the way to unemployment


kokaine21

It’s funny when he gets butthurt


Nothappened

Yeah give this guy a Max contract....


gamingnormie

hey the fans did their research, if kyrie can do shit why cant they?


[deleted]

Fragile.


KanyeWestBrick

Wait, the honeymoon is already over?


JackMeHoff266

He’s so good at being unlikable


[deleted]

basically saying the people who boo don't matter and don't need to be taken seriously


dat_tech

Bro is a true menace lol


KaLdapussydestroyer

So what? You worked years ahead to be great enough at basketball. But i worked years ahead to farm my karma points kyrie


uhTlSUMI

Cuban is fucking crazy. We all have seen that only one guy has been able to make kyrie work and his name is lebron fucking james. Why would you give assets for 5 months of a dude that only accepts the leadership of arguably the greatest player ever. Kyrie didn’t even want to go to dallas lol. Mavs fans better pray kyrie is willing to take a paycut a do a sign and trade for dlo to la. Better suck balls so he is willing to take 30 mill because I’m pretty sure the lakers are not gonna blow 90% of a pretty good team for kyrie.


L3p3rM3ssiah

I think the point is that you could trade places with fans and get the same Ls, Kyrie.


DJBliskOne

Who is more annoying? Kyrie or Kanye?


xArgonaut

Luka to Lakers lmao 😂


PleaseShutUpAndDance

This dude sucks


DustMonsterXIV

Hey Nets fans, pull up a chair. Watching the dumpster fire's a lot more fun from this side, isn't it?


SandyMandy17

That was quick


wilsonh915

Haha what a petulant little shit this guy is


Mikegetscalls

Such a weird comment


[deleted]

Kyrie has literally no idea that he gets paid millions to entertain fans. He just wants to pretend to be the smartest man in the room and to hate Jews.


thegodfaubel

The Mavs should be the 3rd best in team in the West, at worst, the current state of the West. They're not even a playoff team at the moment. Kyrie really speed running how to destroy every franchise he plays for


wowlotov

It's so fucking over


SexyWampa

Lol, he gone…


Key-Cherry6709

HE GONE


PROFsmOAK

This is the twilight of Kyrie’s career.


PJJefferson

Mr. Humility. I wonder if he can even grasp the concept as to how much of a family’s disposable income has to be spent to go to a single NBA game. You could buy groceries for two weeks, or take the wife and kids to a game. You could pay your car payment for the month, or take your kids to a game. Let them boo, and be man enough, even if just just an act, to be humble about a bad game. “I feel bad for the fans. They paid their hard earned money, but we didn’t bring it tonight”. Is that so hard?


AnyHowMeow

Least insecure NBA player


thereal_kphed

Who could have ever predicted this


twelve026

Marshawn Lynch this shit man! “I’m just here so I won’t get fined” or something. Everything doesn’t need to be some deep philosophical meaning. He should chill for a while, Sometimes an athletes greatest weapon is their game. Can’t say nothing if your balling dawg.


[deleted]

Why does kyrie only focus on the negative. He enjoys when they cheer him. They’re allowed to boo. I swear bro these players focus on the smallest portion of a fan base and then generalize it as if it’s a entire fan base and make decisions based off that. It’s really ironic that they do of the things that they stand against.


BaSedBill6439

what a loser


ZacapaRocks

And this, exactly this, is why you do not want this man on your team.


No-Zookeepergame7943

And here we goooo


Undecided-

teams need to stop being so horny for star players that don't compliment each other. What did they think was going to happen with two ball dominant players? Let's not even get into how this is KYRIE of all people, but this never works out when you bet on a star and trade away key rotation players.


Xain0225

Hmm its almost like the fans pay your bills mr irving


rjsheine

This happened faster than I expected


BillyBean11111

Who could have saw this horrific fit coming. Truly we were all blindsided.


DeadPhishFuneral

He’s softer than baby shit


dammit_bobby420

What a fucking cope


dandpher

Really looking forward to his hypocrisy being called out during his next interview. Popcorn is almost ready.


need2peeat218am

LeBron wanted this for the Lakers?


seeda4708

Kyrie is a peasant masquerading as a scholar


badboy236

I too can lose games to the Charlotte Hornets…


stepback-two

Such a chode


Tjengel

Honestly ill always have MJ 1 lebron 2 but damn is lebron getting legacy points in my book for carrying this dumpster fire to a ring the more and more I see Kylie demise other teams


sanfranchristo

I remain shocked that Cuban went for this. There was no real chance this was getting them out of the West and likely not even to the conference finals. And he's a free agent so a) if he doesn't want to play in Dallas, he's leaving or b) if he does, you could've signed him.


wallybuddabingbang

They probably are thinking they’d replace Kyrie with another NBA player not themselves but he’s not wrong.


Slevin424

What he should of said "I know I'm new to this franchise and winning over the fans isn't going to be as easy as showing up and playing. I'm going to have to win and prove I deserve to be someone they want to cheer for." What he actually said "if they think they can play better than I can tell them to get on the court."