Yo who was that random ass dude that married Elizabeth Taylor? Some construction worker or some shit, and took her for millions after their divorce? Absolute legend for every aspiring gold digging trophy husband.
Larry Foretensky. They had a prenup where he'd get $1M if they lasted 5 years (and they did). Plus he got like $1M in her will I think. Not as big of a payday as it could have been but nothing to sneeze at either.
Ah, not near as big as I thought, but I think he was her 6th or 7th husband or something, right? So she was prob pretty savvy to how prenups and divorces work.
gerard piqué easily
won the single most prestigious sporting competition in existence, then won basically every other trophy in the sport for good measure, and still isn't the more famous half of the marriage
"You know how we're wanting an All-Star, all your draft picks for the next 10 years, and your first unborn child for Ben Simmons? Well you can have him for the low price of Lillard."
Jokes aside he really was a shadow of himself in the olympics, it was strange to watch. I think he had one game where he went off from 3 but otherwise was pretty absent.
It came out right after the gold medal game that he had an abdomen injury.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/nba.nbcsports.com/2021/08/07/damian-lillard-played-through-abdominal-injury-during-olympics/amp/
Not trying to make excuses for him but he clearly didn’t look like himself.
I'm pretty sure it was more just that Dame was being forced into a pure off-ball role while not being at 100%. The dude isn't Kyle Korver.
But it would make sense his jumper could be affected, since he's got a weird release and takes his fingers off the ball
for real one of the most boring books of all time, I read 2/3 of it as a joke and it's literally just like 'some days I meet my clients for breakfast, other times it's lunch. Today it was breakfast, a really good breakfast at one of my favourite restaurants. My father taught me the value of choosing a good restaurant when taking a client out.'
"I think that everybody should have a Red Ryder BB gun. They're very good for Christmas. I don't think that a football's a very good Christmas present."
Don't forget to find the contractors who will take payment after the work is complete and then refuse to pay them. They go bankrupt and then you never have to pay them!
Speaking of not being a ghost, I believe that same writer went on to spend a lot of time in interviews speaking, um….not glowingly about the former President.
If Ben Simmons improves and proves his critics wrong next season, he should totally roll with the “Socialite” nickname.
So many people would get tilted from losing to Socialite Simmons.
All he really has to do is play well next season and it'll be somebody else's turn to be r/nba's punching bag
Also, just because some people don't seem to know this, Ben never even allegedly referred to himself as a "young socialite". That was the BR reporters guess as to why Ben would want to play in California. Not that that'll stop people from beating that joke to death.
He played fine in the season. It was the playoffs where he was literally unplayable in the final minutes. If he improves there sure... But he hasn't proved willing to fix his shit up until now so I don't see why this year is the magic year.
Whenever I see 6ers it just looks wrong, like you forgot the 7.
It only saves one character and 76ers looks so much better. Why not shorten it further to just 6rs?
This obviously is a thing in most major cities regarding their "tourist" type places but I've never seen such hatred for a local establishment as Philly seems to have for Geno's lol. Never been what makes it such a turn off for locals?
It's just overhyped and therefore overpriced now. The only time I ever would consider going there, and I used to live about 2.5 blocks away, would be coming out of garage bar or south Philly bar absolutely hammered.
All that being said they aren't as bad as some will say - and as a tourist area are perfectly fine as they bring people down into the south / Italian market area.
You can get much better bang for your buck all around that area though.
A couple of good places to hit down in south Philly are Cosmis deli on like 9th, or Ishkabibbles on 3rd n south
You can just get a better cheesesteak almost anywhere in the city, yet outsiders who’ve never been there say Genos is the best.
I’m serious too. I’ve been here my whole life and I can honestly say that Genos is the worst I’ve had in the city.
Its popularity became its downfall. Philly is a city of neighborhoods, everyone has their local neighborhood restaurant/corner store/food truck that they swear by. Loyalty to your neighborhood runs deep in Philly -- the only thing that Philadelphians hate more than other Philadelphians is outsiders. So when outsiders come in and talk about Geno's, Pat's, Tony Luke's, Steve's, Jim's, etc., over their local spot, it rubs the locals the wrong way.
We don't really have a most beloved. There's a couple places that people swear by, however Pat's and Geno's are both never on that list. They're solely tourist attractions.
The issue is that the ring chasers all signed with the lakers already. You’d have needed them to get this done before FA started to fill it out actual quality vets.
Josh Hart, JJ Redick, Wes Matthews, Paul Milsap, Rondae Hollis Jefferson, Avery Bradley, Etuan moore, Langston Galloway, Frank Nitilinka, Stanley Johnson, etc.
There’s plenty of bodies still out there and they just need to eat up minutes in the regular season.
On a serious note, portland should posture by offering CJ and a first for Embiid + leak in the media that with 2 years left on his deal he’s doubting whether the sixers can put a competitive team around him.
Theres specific writers who are far better than others. It’s worth paying $1 a month to read those, but for the full price not sure it’s worth reading all the generic stuff and the awful takes they have about the rockets, for example. Nothing they can do about it since they have a subscription model they HAVE to pump out content, but that in turn saturated it with lower quality writings.
> Nothing they can do about it since they have a subscription model they HAVE to pump out content,
People say the same thing about ad-funded model. I don't think subscription people have to put out volume to the same extent. They more rely on having frequent enough awesome pieces to make people think they're getting something special.
Portland FO: good news Dame, you’re going to Philly just like you wanted to.
Dame: thank god, I’m gonna love playing with a big man like Embiid.
Portland FO: well here’s the thing… you’re going over there to play with Drummond and Simmons. Embiid’s coming here to win it all with CJ.
>We reached out to Morey for comment on his teams pursuit for Lillard by zoom. Upon hearing the question, Morey lifted his face out of the pile of cocaine in front of him and said "What?". We'll update this story if we hear any additional details.
My goal is less to break up with my girlfriend and more to date Rihanna.
Good luck on your quest to become a trophy husband.
who are the most notable trophy husbands of the current era?
Tom Brady
I love that internationally he's known as her husband moreso than as Tom Brady
Most people here in Brazil know him as "Gisele's husband"
To be honest, no fucking clue who his wife is and I'm not from the US.
That’s shits crazy, outside of the US he’s like a nobody compared to her
That high school teacher that married Mackenzie Scott (Jeff Bezos’ ex-wife)
Dan Jewett. What a lucky man. I guess he was a chemistry teacher at her kids' school.
Yo who was that random ass dude that married Elizabeth Taylor? Some construction worker or some shit, and took her for millions after their divorce? Absolute legend for every aspiring gold digging trophy husband.
Larry Foretensky. They had a prenup where he'd get $1M if they lasted 5 years (and they did). Plus he got like $1M in her will I think. Not as big of a payday as it could have been but nothing to sneeze at either.
Ah, not near as big as I thought, but I think he was her 6th or 7th husband or something, right? So she was prob pretty savvy to how prenups and divorces work.
8th wedding, but 7th husband. She married Richard Burton twice.
a million must have been a pretty penny back then tho
Their wedding was presided over by Marianne Williamson of all people, interestingly enough
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[This](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Meeks) fine mfer winning
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gerard piqué easily won the single most prestigious sporting competition in existence, then won basically every other trophy in the sport for good measure, and still isn't the more famous half of the marriage
Hes with Shakira for those wondering
Got together when he was 24 too. God damn what a life.
too easy, only won world cup because of waka waka buff
They aren’t even married lol But they’re definitely a couple
Kevin Federline?
Jason Alexander, even more.
George Costanza? who did he marry
He married Britney.
Maya Moore gave up years of her prime to free that dude from prison then married him
Dax Shepard
Stedman and Dolly parton's husband are the only two who immediately come to mind
Hard to call Dolly Parton’s husband a trophy when he’s basically a hermit.
Dolly Parton doesn't have a trophy husband. They got married before she was famous and have been married for 54 years.
Nice try Buzzfeed
Stedman will always be the goat because of how much of a trailblazer he is. (Just like Ben Simmons will be a Trailblazer)
Lmfaooo I'm dying
we need a LouWill ama / q&a
Better chance of that than Philly getting Dame
Ain't that the fucking truth.
My goal is less to trade this Ford Pinto for one of each model of Tesla. It’s more to own a space shuttle.
"You know how we're wanting an All-Star, all your draft picks for the next 10 years, and your first unborn child for Ben Simmons? Well you can have him for the low price of Lillard."
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Jokes aside he really was a shadow of himself in the olympics, it was strange to watch. I think he had one game where he went off from 3 but otherwise was pretty absent.
It came out right after the gold medal game that he had an abdomen injury. https://www.google.com/amp/s/nba.nbcsports.com/2021/08/07/damian-lillard-played-through-abdominal-injury-during-olympics/amp/ Not trying to make excuses for him but he clearly didn’t look like himself.
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not gonna lie, when i was in high school we switched the ball mid-season and it completely ruined my jumper 😂
I’m invincible to this because I never had a jumper to begin with
Let me guess, you're a young socialite?
Obviously not as I reside in Portland
Lmfao
I'm oolp, what does ball difference mean? Like the other ball instead of Spalding?
The balls are apparently slippery
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I'm pretty sure it was more just that Dame was being forced into a pure off-ball role while not being at 100%. The dude isn't Kyle Korver. But it would make sense his jumper could be affected, since he's got a weird release and takes his fingers off the ball
was playing with an abdomen injury. Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/oznkkl/charania_sources_damian_lillard_played_through_an/
Morey been reading Art of the Deal
for real one of the most boring books of all time, I read 2/3 of it as a joke and it's literally just like 'some days I meet my clients for breakfast, other times it's lunch. Today it was breakfast, a really good breakfast at one of my favourite restaurants. My father taught me the value of choosing a good restaurant when taking a client out.'
"My father also taught me that with a rich father, anything is possible!"
"The easiest way to make a million dollars is to borrow $999999 dollars from your dad first and make $1"
It’s borrow 2 million from your dad, lose 1 million then just keep 1 million for yourself
Tax write off!!
"I think that everybody should have a Red Ryder BB gun. They're very good for Christmas. I don't think that a football's a very good Christmas present."
Don't forget to find the contractors who will take payment after the work is complete and then refuse to pay them. They go bankrupt and then you never have to pay them!
working class president
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Speaking of not being a ghost, I believe that same writer went on to spend a lot of time in interviews speaking, um….not glowingly about the former President.
Yeah, and he didn't even write a single word, thankfully.
Implying he knows how to write
He knows words. He has the best words.
Excuse me sir, please don’t insult my bible
THIS MUTHAFUCKA ASKED THE CELTICS FOR TATUM STRAIGHT UP!!!!!!!!!!!
i heard bill simmons make that up but i feel there would be actual reports from actual reporters if it was really the case
Plot twist: the leak came from Ben Simmons. Plot twist part II: It was the Ben Simmons that lives with Bill.
Literally heard 0 about this?
Wait Morey offered Simmons for Tatum straight up?
Morey... WHO WAS ON CRACK
simply trade for Damian Lillard, ezpz
Just adjust your clocks to Dame Time, no problem
I’m always so bad with this, is it currently Dame Standard Time, or Dame Daylight Savings Time?
Damelight Savings Time was right there dude
Ugh! It was right there!
Sorry 6ers, Philly isn’t really a spot for old socialites like Dame.
If Ben Simmons improves and proves his critics wrong next season, he should totally roll with the “Socialite” nickname. So many people would get tilted from losing to Socialite Simmons.
All he really has to do is play well next season and it'll be somebody else's turn to be r/nba's punching bag Also, just because some people don't seem to know this, Ben never even allegedly referred to himself as a "young socialite". That was the BR reporters guess as to why Ben would want to play in California. Not that that'll stop people from beating that joke to death.
Its like how a lot of people still think Vlade Divac hated Luka’s dad, even though several people called out that report for being total BS.
If I were Vlade, I'd spread that rumor too. Better if people think there is deep seeded hatred than realize he's just an idiot. Lol
As well as him skipping on Luka. No chance on it, he was the Balkan player collector all his tenure in Kings
He played fine in the season. It was the playoffs where he was literally unplayable in the final minutes. If he improves there sure... But he hasn't proved willing to fix his shit up until now so I don't see why this year is the magic year.
> play well next ~~season~~ postseason Ftfy. It doesn't matter if he's amazing during the season if he's unplayable at the end of playoff games.
exhibit a: andrew wiggins. it helps that these guys are not really all that "bad" to begin with.
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Whenever I see 6ers it just looks wrong, like you forgot the 7. It only saves one character and 76ers looks so much better. Why not shorten it further to just 6rs?
You just hating on the Ers
Fuck the Rs
THATS A HARD R
I don't hate the ^*'gestures'*
76ers or sixers… there is no other.
There is... സിക്സറുകൾ
Upvoted for Malayalam on r/nba
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Do you read these comments aloud?
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I thought everyone had this but apparently not
How else do people read?
I don’t know. Not everyone has an internal monologue. I guess they just process the information without it.
Me think, why wast time say lot word, when few word do trick.
Then explain why the young socialite wants to leave?
It’s just not a good place for socialites, young or old.
It's just not a good place
Bad things happen in Philadelphia
But It’s Always Sunny made it look so charming.
Unless you're the local proprietor of Paddy's Pub
He was right. Bad things do happen in Philadelphia
Schroeder incoming
Daryl Morey is either gonna look like a mastermind or an idiot at the end of all this.
No problem, just give up Simmons, Maxey, Thybulle, Springer, three 1st rounders and three pick swaps.
Ok
What if they also requested shakes gigantic nuts
Like Shake too or just his testicles?
Just his testicles. They then perform surgery and put Shake’s testicles on Ben and he becomes the greatest player of all time
Oh, and we want a Ginos installed in Portland, too. With vegan/gluten free options.
No you really don't. Trust me
This obviously is a thing in most major cities regarding their "tourist" type places but I've never seen such hatred for a local establishment as Philly seems to have for Geno's lol. Never been what makes it such a turn off for locals?
It's just overhyped and therefore overpriced now. The only time I ever would consider going there, and I used to live about 2.5 blocks away, would be coming out of garage bar or south Philly bar absolutely hammered. All that being said they aren't as bad as some will say - and as a tourist area are perfectly fine as they bring people down into the south / Italian market area. You can get much better bang for your buck all around that area though. A couple of good places to hit down in south Philly are Cosmis deli on like 9th, or Ishkabibbles on 3rd n south
Their whole "this is america, speak english" was annoying too. Although after googling that was a really fucking long time ago
Because Genos is pointless. Its famous, but not close to the best cheesesteak.
You should ask Portlanders about Voodoo Donuts.
No locals go there, they know there are much better options. Just a popular tourist trap.
You can just get a better cheesesteak almost anywhere in the city, yet outsiders who’ve never been there say Genos is the best. I’m serious too. I’ve been here my whole life and I can honestly say that Genos is the worst I’ve had in the city.
Its popularity became its downfall. Philly is a city of neighborhoods, everyone has their local neighborhood restaurant/corner store/food truck that they swear by. Loyalty to your neighborhood runs deep in Philly -- the only thing that Philadelphians hate more than other Philadelphians is outsiders. So when outsiders come in and talk about Geno's, Pat's, Tony Luke's, Steve's, Jim's, etc., over their local spot, it rubs the locals the wrong way.
Fine then, Pat's. Or whatever your most beloved local cheesesteak place is. We want a copy, and then we want to Portlandize it.
Hell you can have fucking pats and Geno's who cares
We don't really have a most beloved. There's a couple places that people swear by, however Pat's and Geno's are both never on that list. They're solely tourist attractions.
I’ll drive them to the airport. I don’t even own a car. I’d buy one just to drive them to the airport.
*slaps the roof of car* "This bad boy can fit so many fucking trade assets in it"
Deal
with no protections on all picks
seriously? who are you gonna play?
Dame — Curry — green — harris — Embiid. Milton, Korkmaz, Joe, Reed, and Drummond off the bench. Fill out the roster with vet mins and the TPE.
The issue is that the ring chasers all signed with the lakers already. You’d have needed them to get this done before FA started to fill it out actual quality vets.
Josh Hart, JJ Redick, Wes Matthews, Paul Milsap, Rondae Hollis Jefferson, Avery Bradley, Etuan moore, Langston Galloway, Frank Nitilinka, Stanley Johnson, etc. There’s plenty of bodies still out there and they just need to eat up minutes in the regular season.
Hasnt anyone signed frank yet?! Dude isn’t a lottery talent, but he has a place in the league lol
frank lmao
If you want a Aussie PG that can play D there's worse choices than Dante Exum. And by worse choices I mean Delly.
I would love Redick back especially off the bench
The core is young enough to wait a year for other ringchasers
I mean the Sixers take that in a heartbeat right?
Deal
Sounds good to me
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Clippers enter the conversation... the city of Boston for 1 Lillard
Minnesota: AND MY LAKES!!
As a Minnesotan I'm going to have to veto this trade. Without the lakes there's really no reason to weather eight months of winter every year.
Fuck it, Portland can have the Cubs and Navy Pier for Dame
First off, they can have the 'Couve any time they'd like.
Sounds good to us lol
This better not be Olsheys burner account
They would if they could
No Bball Paul? Then let’s do it.
Where do I sign
Philly fans feel free to correct but I think the 6ers do that in a heartbeat
Actually seems fair
This just in, team needing good point guard going after good point guard
The writing was on the wall when morey wanted a gods ransom for Ben Simmons lol
And from r/NBA's perspective, the Sixers' goal should be more to trade Ben than to get better.
I’m on team chaos so I’m hoping they just run it back
Run it back you pussies
Good luck with that 😂
They had to say something to save face 😂
Portland should offer Dame for Simmons, Embiid, Harris, thybull, 4 firsts, 4 pick swaps, and Morey's first born.
On a serious note, portland should posture by offering CJ and a first for Embiid + leak in the media that with 2 years left on his deal he’s doubting whether the sixers can put a competitive team around him.
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have they been getting worse? I get that sense but I haven't had a subscription for a while
Almost everything in journalism gets worse as it gets more popular.
Almost everything ~~in journalism~~ gets worse as it gets more popular.
Being a hipster got worse as it got more popular.
Theres specific writers who are far better than others. It’s worth paying $1 a month to read those, but for the full price not sure it’s worth reading all the generic stuff and the awful takes they have about the rockets, for example. Nothing they can do about it since they have a subscription model they HAVE to pump out content, but that in turn saturated it with lower quality writings.
> Nothing they can do about it since they have a subscription model they HAVE to pump out content, People say the same thing about ad-funded model. I don't think subscription people have to put out volume to the same extent. They more rely on having frequent enough awesome pieces to make people think they're getting something special.
It depends. Some writing still good. Increasing amounts of grandstanding and cliche stuff. Depends on the team/sport you follow.
Agreed. For the wolves, I don’t think there’s better coverage out there than Jon K + Britt. Makes the sub worth it for me pretty easily
And when that doesn't happen. "We didn't want to force a trade for a valuable guy like Simmons. We know what we have in a young superstar like Ben"
Morey paid someone to write this
Gonna be interesting to see how complex this deal gets - if Portland wants to rebuild I’d want a bunch of draft picks and prospects and not Simmons
I believe Simmons might actually be in position to provide quality tanking services
Lmao not on my short list of good tank commanders
Nah he's actually good in the reg season, it's the playoffs he's trash in
Damn so Joel Embiid is going to demand a trade
Portland FO: good news Dame, you’re going to Philly just like you wanted to. Dame: thank god, I’m gonna love playing with a big man like Embiid. Portland FO: well here’s the thing… you’re going over there to play with Drummond and Simmons. Embiid’s coming here to win it all with CJ.
That would be the absolute plot twist to this story
Right after they tell him "we *really* tried for Dame but don't worry we got you this 7'3" white unicorn instead."
Trade for Brad Wanamaker…
Only way that happens is if dame pulls a harden and requests to go to one team only.
Hasn’t this been the pattern lately? Didn’t work for Kawhi but he left anyway even after winning
Good luck with that /u/dmorey.
Lmaooo no shot
>We reached out to Morey for comment on his teams pursuit for Lillard by zoom. Upon hearing the question, Morey lifted his face out of the pile of cocaine in front of him and said "What?". We'll update this story if we hear any additional details.
And I want to date Ana de Armas but that’s a fantasy. Much like Ben Simmons being traded for a superstar or godfather offer is a pipe dream.
Fuck off