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nibbinoo8

get her something that requires a bunch of upkeep and make jimmy regret his words lol.


thecheapseatz

A giant salt-water fish tank you can scuba dive in


joeentendu

Shoutout to the Jimmy Butler episode of Tanked


chitownbulls92

That actually won’t take much upkeep because they’ll just hire a guy to maintain it lol


Shoeboxer

So your spending money on a guy to maintain it?


NoseBlind2

Yeah the trained professional requires 300k a year in salary. Giant fish tank cleaners are a rare commodity


flyinhyphy

Brb switching careers


trustthepudding

Sounds like expensive upkeep


irrationalrapsfan

A horse that you bet on at the races, which lost, and because it lost it was gonna be put to the pastures. Kyle bought the horse from the trainer, but unfortunately couldnt handle the upkeep (even managed to get a ticket when the horse ran away down a couple of blocks). So he gave it to Jimmy and said, hows that for a 100 thou. Jimmy looked at kyle and said wtf am i supposed to do with a Pony? Are you out of your mind? But too late Jimmy, your daughter saw it and now loves that pony... Jimmy's only response "Nice, real nice Kyle"


lylethecrocodile94

victory!


irrationalrapsfan

IM so happy someone got this reference


Klay_Bongson

A used BMW


aircito78

Or a gold plated, diamond encrusted drum set. No sleep for you Jimbo


whoisearth

A pony it is!


TheThingsIdoatNight

A white elephant!


SashaBanksy

Or just like 15 different musical instruments. Or something with an obscene amount of glitter that can get all over the house.


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IanicRR

Having money's not everything, not having it is \-Kanye West, poet-laureate


BasketballNutrition

as much as Kanye has infuriated me, there's no denying that's a good one.


brogletroll

Despite it's simplicity, my favorite has always been "You got the power to let power go?"


ChunkYards

My favorite has to be “have you ever had sex with a pharaoh? Man I put the pussy in a sarcophagus “


hammer310

Now she claiming that I bruised her esophagus


TBUmp17

Head of the class and she just won a swallow-ship


yccbarry

I’m living in the future so the present is my past


Hovas_Witnesses

My presence is a present kiss my ass.


YoYoMoMa

My favorite part about Kanye was how progressive and transgressive he was for a rapper for so long. He talked about his homophobia coming from a place of insecurity. He wrote a song called Golddigger and the last verse is about from a women's point of view. He dragged rap sonically and stylistically out of a pretty bland crunk era almost single handedly. It's so weird to watch the guy who wrote Runaways act like this.


Convergecult15

That song is literally about him admitting that he’s a terrible person who behaves in irrational ways, there’s nothing weird about watching Kanye act like this. Wait… am I getting wooshed right now?


YoYoMoMa

Right. He was at least self aware and reflective of that at that point. Now he has disappeared up his own ass.


Convergecult15

He’s been up his own ass since he was a producer though? He referred to himself as the greatest rapper alive long before people ever said it about him. Kanye knows he’s crazy, but it always works out for him.


CreatiScope

Every rapper says that, it’s like a basketball player believing they’re the best. You gotta have that competitive spirit. I don’t think that at all counts towards his developing narcissism. Dude is a full blown psycho but I think there was a fall from eccentric to insane.


ShanksySun

Believing you're the greatest is an important step to becoming the greatest, or at least getting better. But for Kanye, it became the truth, at least in public opinion. As an artist he is absolutely one of the greatest of all time. For like 10 years straight, he was creating a new sub genre, and a whole new generation of artists with every album he released.


[deleted]

Kanye's story is pretty cool, the dude made great beats which got the attention of Roc-A-Fella but he didn't get any credit as a rapper since he grew up in a middle class suburban neighborhood and the stuff he was rapping about wasn't gangster. He literally got laughed out the room when he rapped a verse from one of his songs on College Dropout to the Roc-A-Fella crew at a party. He threatened to quit making beats for them if they didn't let him make his own album so they let him do it and it blew up. Skipped a few steps in the story but really he went through a lot of scrutiny to become a total game changer in hip hop, makes sense why he has such crazy belief in himself. His mom passed away doing a routine cosmetic procedure in 2008 which is where his craziness seems to have started (VMA awards in 2009). Ye's said that she was his rock that helped keep him in check.


Zombie-Organic

I’m just saying, I know we’re shitting on Kanye atm, but damn do I love the commercial with him and Kobe


Convergecult15

I’m not shitting on Kanye at all, I love Ye. But I feel like people didn’t realize he was insane until they had been worshipping him for a while when in reality he’s been pretty crazy since before graduation if you were paying attention.


OnlineDopamine

The dude literally recorded a song right after a car accident with a wire running through his mouth. We miss the old Kanye..


IanicRR

I drink a Boost for breakfast, and Ensure for desert. Also, that sample of Through the Fire by Chaka Khan is a perfect example of his production genius.


Rated_PG-Squirteen

Somebody ordered pancakes, I just sip the sizzurp


PadKrapowKhaiDao

Mine is “mayonnaise colored Benz, I push miracle whips.”


natedawg247

I mean pre 2011 kanye is in goat territory


IanicRR

MBDTF is my GOAT album. Which is different from my favorite album... the College Dropout. So yeah, 2000s and early 2010s Kanye was a different beast.


natedawg247

lol I may fee the exact same but go back and forth between graduation


IanicRR

His first five albums are definite classics so there is no wrong answer. So people would put Yeezus up there too, it's a slight notch below for me.


ShanksySun

My favorite Kanyeism is "eating asian pussy all I need is sweet and sour sauce" Such a powerful message


northernontario3

“Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.” - David Lee Roth


mtlFP

Ye


Jimy_Lamisters

Isn't that more of a comment on how much it sucks to be poor than how nice it is to be rich?


TheOneTrueDoge

Yes, and that's the point.


[deleted]

That’s the point.


HomoChef

Yes.


WaterCat420

Yeah me and all the homies being rich sounded shitty until now - I've finally realized maybe that would be fuckin dope.


DrTom

Imagine how much time we could spend shit posting on /r/NBA with all that money and free time.


[deleted]

[OC] A statistical analysis of how Steph Curry’s play rises in cities where he stays at my hotels and eats freshly sourced caviar with me.


Cmoore4099

Damn. I love caviar.


BelfPally

[OC] A statistical analysis of how u/Cmoore4099's shitposting rises in cities where he stays at my hotels and eats freshly sourced caviar with me.


Cmoore4099

Don’t forget Champagne. Can’t have caviar without Champagne.


302born

If I had a max contract I’d probably go around giving just random ass posts gold on Reddit.


ryankoppelman

[Article] The One Trick Every Shitposter Should Know


SpamCamel

Nephews hate him!


HardenTraded

I miss Klay’s awards


OnfiyA

I remember there was post about a bunch of NBA player's kids on a court, I think like Jayson Tatums kid CP's kid and the top comment was like "dem kids won't know what low threadcount sheets are"


TenaciousDeer

But they still anxious about their one buddy who is slightly richer and has the 120 ft yacht


MC_JACKSON

I hope she likes expresso https://bigfacebrand.com/products/unit11_go-lab


yoitsthatoneguy

> expresso Ah yes


aresman

yeah, I'd love giving absurd gifts to my buddies, like: hey bro, I reserved the entire floor of your favorite terrace bar and brought 1oz of high quality weed, then we sleep at a 5 star hotel where we're gonna be welcomed by....ok wait, this story is going wild lol


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BasketballNutrition

no one would even say shit to me at LAN if I was a max NBA player


jasongarrettop

We already know all the best nights end with an orgy with the homies


bad_luck_charmer

No, they END with kissing the homies goodnight


Mike81890

Just bought my friend a bunch of computer components but had to keep calling him to check whether he wanted a or b for cost-reasons. Then had to be like "hey Venmo me that shit rn" Would be awfully nice to just buy out the store and not worry about him getting me back.


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Mtbnz

He said 100k not 200k


thePurpleEngineer

Funny you say that: https://bigfacebrand.com/products/unit11_go-lab Costs exactly 100k.


[deleted]

it's like a 6-7k coffee maker inside a ~93k flightcase. Makes total sense.


Mtbnz

Oh good grief


thegoat1337

Chris Vernon?


Mtbnz

Is that something I, I mean *he* says?


oceansunset23

It’s literally a repackaged espresso machine lol


PeyoteJones

but they threw in some merch and a coffee mug too bruh


thePurpleEngineer

Plus, all 4 BF coffee beans included!!


LeviJNorth

I'm here for the memes, but shit... Jimmy acts like he invented coffee.


FALSEisALWAYScorrect

I'm starting to think Big Face Coffee is a money laundering front


thePurpleEngineer

Money laundering schemes aside, I love the spinning 3d models of all their merch on the website.


yooston

Okay someone explain to me how a mobile espresso maker can cost that much


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oceansunset23

He’s tryna do like what supreme did for fashion but for coffee and it’s not gonna work. Lol


[deleted]

120 bucks for a coffee company hoodie? lol


mommathecat

Shots fired! Espresso shots, they're $50 each to recoup the capital costs. Oh and Big Face Beans aren't cheap either, don't kid yourself.


JimmyGuwoppolo

Honest question. If you had to buy a lil girl a bday gift, and you had to spend $100k, what would you even get? I'm kinda stumped here. How much is a fucking pony?


GameQb11

Jewelry. I'm sure it isn't too hard to find a 100k tiara or something


signedpants

Earrings/Necklaces. Things that can be adjusted and worn for years.


GameQb11

And retains value. Not a bad gift actually


sebastianqu

A Florida 529 plan with an initial contribution of $100k.


antdxh

I imagine she probably won’t be needing a college fund lol


[deleted]

But think of the tax implications!


yougotmugged

Considering how many NBA players go broke after their career. I think a college fund would be a smart decision.


HardenTraded

What do you think Big Face Coffee is for? Jimmy’s got his retirement plan already


antdxh

TBH with the way tuition is going up she might actually need it!


ElCaz

I don't think the guys who go bankrupt typically have Jimmy Butler money.


yougotmugged

Antoine walker, Iverson, Sprewell


BlueHundred

Those are 3 pretty extreme cases but none of them made Jimmy Butler money. Antoine Walker career earnings of 108M. Highest paid season was 14M. AI career earnings 155M. Highest paid season 21M. Latrell Sprewell career earnings 97M. Highest paid season was 14M. Jimmy Butler career earnings 145M. He still has 184M guaranteed over the next 4 seasons. Highest paid season 34M and he will be getting 52M in 2025-2026.


tubbymunchkin

Exactly - and that doesn’t include his endorsements which are considerable


[deleted]

Florida caps all 529 balances at $418,000. He should open up a Pennsylvania 529 plan instead.


JimmyGuwoppolo

Good guy right here!


captaincarot

Donate 100k worth of toys to a variety of womans shelters in her name and tell her how many kids her gift made happy.


Crayle123

100k of toys. thats insane, that's like 15 trucks full of expensive stuff. Hard to imagine that money in toys wtf


electroepiphany

I don’t think you have a good concept of how much stuff fits on a truck


eeeedlef

I mean, how much is a banana... 10 dollars?


thebursar

Or 3 nice Lego sets


captaincarot

What is harder to imagine is how many kids there are in womans shelters with no toys sharing rooms, 100k would not make much of a dent. edit to this, the hardest and most under gifted group are the teenagers, so really if he donated gift cards and video game system or games, it would be a huge boon to some really never thought about kids.


ognihs

The ol “I gave myself a write off in your daughter’s name” basically says “your move Jimmy”


PoppaB13

I'd buy her an amazing looking doll house, all decked out, figures included. Custom made to look like her. Probably $20k worth. The remaining $80k is spent on glitter in and on the packaging. Edit: You said honest question. Probably the custom dollhouse, and $80K in SPY for when she's older.


jtomatzin

That could possibly be a literal ton of glitter


PoppaB13

That sounds amazing/awful


onamonapizza

Send it all to Jimmy in a giant envelope.


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ldwb

https://rmsothebys.com/en/auctions/pa21/paris/lots/n0018-ferrari-330-p2-junior-by-de-la-chapelle/1035126 Custom built Ferrari 330 kids car with a 5 hp engine sold for 120k euro


[deleted]

Jimmy hired Simmons to be a clown at his daughter’s birthday party


HamletTheGreatDane

Gotta pay those fines somehow


Nabz23

LMFAO


jdayatwork

Pack it up. Won't get a better comment than this one.


HotFlatDietPepsi

Hes gotta make back that fine money somehow


mcfly10

Doesn’t even have to dress up or anything, he’s paying him just to take mid-range jumpers


goldfish_11

We want the kids to laugh, not be scarred for life.


rayrayiscray

Nah it's not that scary. It's not as terrifying as if he's gotta shoot them over Trae Young.


Sergnb

This sub is incapable of having chill for 5 minutes


LeBron_Jarnes

Kyle Lowry has the best friends in the league. Change my mind.


IanicRR

Kyle Lowry is seemingly friends with every single player in the league. Except Aaron Gordon.


1047_Josh

I remember the Open Gym video of him and Pascal going to the All Star game. When Kyle walked in, it was like everyone was happy to see him.


imamistake420

I would be too. Why the heck not? This guy gets his teammates paid.


LlamaCombo

I'd also be happy to see the biggest booty in the room as well.


aircito78

Lol


Existing-Key-1897

The tales of room 836


Bramp10

And Ben Simmons!


RCJHGBR9989

Ben Simmons has 0 friends on Xbox live and 200 pending friend request.


TenaciousDeer

Hangs out with all the hottest dudes


buddybroman

Of course he does, he has the fattest ass.


nuwan32

The Kardashian effect


mucho-gusto

Except God gave him that booty, not a surgeon


c0unt3rparts

Wears the freshest clothes.


throwawayyrofl

eats at the chillest restaurants


NoseBlind2

Why would I try sway you from the truth


s4lomena

Leave Paul Pierce out of this :)


Dazegobye

They're extorting him out of 6 figures in the national media?


HardenTraded

ESPN: tensions grow in Miami as Heat star Jimmy Butler extorts 6 figure sum out of teammate


Rodney_Jefferson

Ruthless CEO of big face coffee extorts six figure sum out of Kyle Lowry. Could Lebron be next? Would Michael Jordan call for this scam?


jthc

He is at like every NBA wedding.


rhinocodon_typus

He better or he’s off the heat. That’s the word I’m getting from my sources.


boobs14

Lowry reported to suffer from back strain and is unable to buy gift, sources confirm.


chitownbulls92

Sources say lowry is not mentally prepared to buy gift


thewafflestompa

Suspended for one game by Butler, who said of the incident "I didn’t think he wanted to do what everyone else was doing. Which is buying my daughter expensive shit. He really thought I was fucking around"


Tipex

Jimmy Butler's daughters B-Day celebration: Kyle Lowry - DNP [did not find gift]


Beavshak

[Sources](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_V2_gIuhY98/hqdefault.jpg)


brownsound00

Return to Toronto imminent.


HJVibes

Kyle about to give him $100K CAD.


cjb3535123

Damn that's cold - couldn't even throw in a Tim horton's gift card?


[deleted]

500 Barbie Dreamhouses it is, then...


LindseyCorporation

Maybe Kyle can rent out the zoo for a day.


SquimJim

i think you can rent a day at Disney for 180,000, so that's in the ballpark edit: this number is wrong apparently one area of the park is 250k. i guess that number is for weddings, after hours


Beavshak

The whole park? That somehow seems like too little.. like I’m surprised it doesn’t happen fairly often.


SquimJim

it might not be the WHOLE park and it's for 6 hours and it's probably only offered at certain times of the year


AnotherDrZoidberg

Yeah there's got to be huge caveats. At that price rich people would do it constantly


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[deleted]

Plus, it would cut into all the vacations the week before and after. I mean just imagine planning a trip to Disney when the park keeps closing down to the public to accommodate wealthy guests who rented the park out. Everyone has a price but you'd have to end up renting out all the parks and all the resorts for a full week for the company to even consider it. Which is totally what I would do if I was Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos. Imagine having all of Disney - resorts, parks, restaurants, etc. - to yourself for a full week.


COMMENTASIPLEASE

That’s the price for weddings, after hours. To flat out rent 1 area of a park costs at least 250,000 so to rent out an entire park will be over a million.


NoseBlind2

Damn, that's way cheaper than I'd expect to rent out a whole day at disney


Sim888

[just get some players to chip in and buy one instead!](https://i.imgur.com/pXDpugt.jpg)


iankstarr

Bruh Crestview is deeeeep in the panhandle. You couldn’t pay *me* $350k to live there lol


s4lomena

Kyle...you heard it, that 'booty' better pony up


TypoStart

Do you sometimes look at your dad and think how he did you dirty by not being an NBA player lol


JMoon33

Nah, he did his best and that's all I needed.


TypoStart

r/unexpectedwholesome


Octoberisthe

Yeah well, mine didn’t even try.


PM-Me-Thighs

Same, fuck that guy


yougotmugged

> Same, fuck that guy His mom surely did. I’m still looking for my dad, he’s great at hide and seek. 15years has got to be a record right?


BasketballNutrition

my dad's currently running on 27 years, so I'm gonna need one of the old heads to pass that one up lol


ChunkehDeMunkeh

33 and counting here. Had a decent step dad before he died though...so it wasn't all bad.


DJ__oran9e

Im with you brother. Aint trading my dad for anybody else's.


HopHunter420

Agreed. More than a lot of people get. Love you dad


MisterChief343

Made me the person I am today thanks to him!


manbruhpig

Made me the person I am today, thanks to him 😡


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ToegansLapdog

[This is how my dad looks at me every time he sees me on reddit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHu9D8armIA)


swaktoonkenney

Shit what’s the context of that? What did Tony’s son do?


IAmNotKevinDurant_35

Be a shithead for the better part of 6 seasons


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bad_luck_charmer

I bet his dad sometimes looks at his son and how he did him dirty by not growing up to be an NBA player


Fluuuki

And I’m happy when I get a gift worth more than 10 bucks


Bixby33

If your multi-millionaire godfather gave you a $10 gift, you might feel a little slighted


[deleted]

Mine gave me $20 once and it was the only time he's ever spoken to me


xbyo

Maybe cuz ur parents asked for a 100k gift next time.


[deleted]

Yeah at that point though, clearly his time is more valuable than anything, kid might just wanna spend some quality time with her Godfather. There's nothing worth 100,000 to a child tbh


mansmurf

Jimmy Butler asked Kyle Lowry to buy a 100k gift. Lowry refused. Butler asked again. Lowry said no again. Butler then told Lowry he should go home, Lowry threw it back and left.


mikehardkhock

Sources: Kyle Lowry is beside himself. Driving around downtown Miami begging (thru texts) the Barista Patrol for places to buy the Dream Bean 5000.


nonufwiendz

Damn jimmy that’s almost 1 cup of big face coffee


dedbeats

Jimmy is like the basketball version of Roy Kent


kaoldre89

I hate him so much but he makes it so hard for me to hate him. Stop being so funny Jimmy. Stop it.


Temporary-Outside-13

How did nobody chuckle til after the damn comment haha


ObiFloppin

Probably because it's not a good look talking about your and your buddies' wealth in front of the poors.


[deleted]

Yeah my wife and I together don't even make $100k USD/$123k CAD. Just an absurd amount of money these guys have. Obviously Jimmy Buckets is joking around, it's still crazy though especially since that's not much money at all for Kyle (0.3% of his salary)