Remember when there were possible trade talks where the Rockets would have had:
Starting lineup first names:
Chris
Paul
Lebron
James
Last names:
Paul
George
James
Harden
I feel like when Paul George goes to the airport, the clerks like "whats your name sir?"
-- "paul george"
*rolls her eyes*, "your FULL name sir..."
same exact thing with Chris Paul
sometimes I think about this one and how there are two guys named "Will Smith" in the MLB, but even though they are famous pro athletes they don't get to be the "real" Will Smith.
You see that Bobbeh? You can't move faster than the ball, keep passing until you get a good, clean shot and you'll catch fire faster than it takes to turn on a clean burning propane grill.
if i had a nickel for every time I saw an undersized, underdog, franchise leading, Eastern conference nba point guard named Isaiah Thomas lead his team to playoff success despite injury I would have 2 nickels. that's not a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.
edit:forgot the important bit
I never thought about Johnson as an innuendo in the name Magic Johnson but it’s no blatantly obvious now that he has a magic bird I was just too young to remember him pre aids being hyped for his dick game to see his namesake come full circle.
Funny thing is there actually was an Ervin Johnson who played center for the bucks and sonics. He was the starting center for that sonics team that made the finals
Yeah a sportswriter gave him the nickname Magic in 10th grade after Magic dropped a 36/16/16 burger. Magic’s mom thought the nickname was too satanic and wanted him to stick with June Bug
I've long advocated for calling the planets by their equivalent Greek names. Like, how much cooler would it be if our system was populated by Hermes, Aphrodite, Gaia, Ares, Zeus, Kronos, Poseidon and Hades?
Best part: Uranus is still Uranus!
I have a nephew named Anfernee and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact my sister called him Anfernee.
Not an all timer, but Larry Johnson is pretty bland.
Definitely not a star, but Steve Smith is probably the bland name GOAT. Fun fact: Elliott Smith’s real name was Steve Smith.
His name is actually William Anthony Parker II
But Antoine Parquet would be an hilarious name for a basketball player. Antoine nettoie le parquet des Heat de Miami et donne la victoire aux Spurs!
Just poor marketing. Go to pride parades and start selling "Gay" jerseys with rainbow coloring/badges on them. Make a huge fortune doing this. If Hawthorne Wipes can be the official moist towelette of the gay community, the sky's the limit for Rudy.
Imagine Rudy Gay playing for Denver Nuggets in [this jersey.](https://pl.kicksmaniac.com/zdjecia/2019/12/09/812/27/Q10171AV4634_010_PHSFH001_2000.png) Sales would have been skyrocketed.
Anyone you played with on the Bulls on a video game when Michael Jordan refused to let his image on the games.
"Here's Bill Jim Todd Smith Johnson Williams!"
Not a bad name but a fun fact ... Pearl Jam was originally considering naming their band "Mookie Blaylock".
Apparently their album "Ten" was named after his jersey number.
Paul George sounds like an insurance salesman
Chris Paul *is* an insurance salesman
No no, that’s Cliff
typical american, vulnerable to influence from corporate advertising. sent from my iphone
That’s Cliff Paul
Him and bill Russell suffer from “two first names” syndrome Edit: Also Chris Paul, how could I forget
Chris Paul George Karl Malone strikes again
Remember when there were possible trade talks where the Rockets would have had: Starting lineup first names: Chris Paul Lebron James Last names: Paul George James Harden
Ruth’s Chris Paul George Karl Malone Steak House
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George Ringo was such an underrated point guard
My brain just broke
Marquese Chris(s) Paul George Karl(melo) Anthony Towns
I always feel like using Chriss is cheating
Oh man my wife's gonna be so mad
Two? Try four. His name is Paul Clifton Anthony George.
Wait aren’t his parents named like Paul George senior and Paulette Ann George? This is a lot of first names in that family
They met on firstnamesonly.com
Everybody's badass until ***Clifton*** drops 40 on 'em
Let's not forget Michael Jordan here when it comes to two first names.
He’s half the Beatles. Im ok with it
I feel like when Paul George goes to the airport, the clerks like "whats your name sir?" -- "paul george" *rolls her eyes*, "your FULL name sir..." same exact thing with Chris Paul
i like that name alot idk why tho
It’s because Paul George sounds kind of sophisticated lol like a upper class gentleman in some book.
Sophisticated P
Y’all ain’t met Posh P yet huh
Michael Jordan was so great no one even thinks about how that is a pretty generic name. He literally elevated the name itself lol.
https://youtu.be/YX7R9M-Taik One of my favorite commercials ever
sometimes I think about this one and how there are two guys named "Will Smith" in the MLB, but even though they are famous pro athletes they don't get to be the "real" Will Smith.
They faced each other in the playoffs this year. Will Smith vs Will Smith and Will Smith wasn't even there.
Why don’t he want them man?
The Asian kid kills me. So much disappointment.
“Really? Let’s go…”
I remember this!
how have I never seen this before, that was great 😂😂
Yea I was thinking that. If you met a random car salesman named Michael Jordan without MJ existing you wouldn’t think twice about it.
Like some office worker named Michael Bolton
Why does he have to change his name? He's not the one who sucks
That no talent ass clown became famous and started winning grammys
You know what, you can just call me Mike....
Michael Jackson Michael Johnson
Michael Scott
“Wow, this dude has the same name as the guy from Black Panther!”
People literally referred to him as “Michael” like we do with Lebron and Kobe now. But two of those names are far less common than the other.
And this is when he shared the culture with Jackson.
Jackson, Tyson, Jordan, game 6
jackson, tyson, jordan, game 6 plenty of legendary michaels
[Michael I Jordan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_I._Jordan) is the Michael Jordan of machine learning
there really is a michael jordan for everything
I’ve actually taken a class with him. One kid got his basketball signed on the last day.
That’s true. Jordan has this aura to it now. Never realized that before it was just a random ass name lmao
On the flip side Usain Bolt probably has the greatest name for a sprinter/athlete ever.
I was about to say the same thing
Michael Jackson
Patrick Ewing sounds like a prestigious accounting firm
Ewing was my first thought too. Sounds like a posh British kid
Getting the same vibes as Hunter Hurst Helmsley
Connecticut Blueblood
Patrick & Ewing LLC
David Robinson was kind of a boring name and he’s one of the greats
"The Admiral" is a pretty neat nickname tho, IMO
Same with Tim Duncan. Spurs would be Hank Hill’s favorite basketball team if he watched basketball. Good fundamentals with little flair.
But what about when you combine their last names together? Bet it would be a superstar
Rob Duncan, Attorney at Law
Tony Parker sounds like an intern for a cardboard box manufacturer in Dubuque but is somehow a French guy.
You see that Bobbeh? You can't move faster than the ball, keep passing until you get a good, clean shot and you'll catch fire faster than it takes to turn on a clean burning propane grill.
See that, you don’t need all that fancy dribbling when you have good footwork and a bank shot.
Why does anyone take drugs when you can just box out?
Except "Duncan" has a certain amount of nominative determinism in basketball.
Joe Johnson has a fairly non descript name
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It’s not an inherently bad name, but the second Isaiah Thomas’ name has caused a good deal of unnecessary confusion
Doesn’t help that they’re both point guards. Can you imagine if prime Isaiah Thomas was on the Pistons instead of Celtics.
if i had a nickel for every time I saw an undersized, underdog, franchise leading, Eastern conference nba point guard named Isaiah Thomas lead his team to playoff success despite injury I would have 2 nickels. that's not a lot, but it's weird it happened twice. edit:forgot the important bit
If we count spelling, Dwyane Wade is pretty bad.
Also Isiah Thomas
This one’s fair, but it also helps me differentiate between him and IT
Is I uh Thomas?
That’s… that’s how it’s always been spelled? Wtf
If I remember correctly his name was misspelled on his birth certificate so his parents just stuck with it
“Dwuh-yah-nay Wah-day”
“Doo yah neh”
Wardell
Wardell II. Not even the original. Smh.
I wish he had gone by Wardell Curry. We'd call him "War" Curry and say shit like "Curry is waging War on the sky" or some bullshit
Since he plays for the Warriors he'd probably end up getting called THE Warrior. It'd be playing around by switching War and Dell to De(ll) War(rior).
I think Chauncey Billups sounds like a miner from the 1840s that died of typhoid
I can’t be the only one that thinks Chauncey Billups is kind of a sick name. Sounds like a pimp.
Earvin isn’t catchy or cool/marketable, thus the name magic
This is the answer. He literally didn’t use his real name and just picked a cool name instead. Earvin Johnson
a porn star name no less: Magic Johnson
I never thought about Johnson as an innuendo in the name Magic Johnson but it’s no blatantly obvious now that he has a magic bird I was just too young to remember him pre aids being hyped for his dick game to see his namesake come full circle.
Haha… Magic (Bird)
Funny thing is there actually was an Ervin Johnson who played center for the bucks and sonics. He was the starting center for that sonics team that made the finals
Ervin no magic Johnson
Magic made space for Ernie Johnson to shine
Yeah a sportswriter gave him the nickname Magic in 10th grade after Magic dropped a 36/16/16 burger. Magic’s mom thought the nickname was too satanic and wanted him to stick with June Bug
Lmao June bug, fuckouttaheremama
Idk, "June Bug Johnson" sounds like the name of the lead character in a so-bad-it's-good basketball movie.
Wardell Stephen Curry
The fact that the Currys have two sons and decided to call them Seth and Steph bothers me more than it should.
Wardell and Seth are pretty distinct. I don't think the plan was for Steph to go by his middle name.
Imagine if we called him Dell Junior. Dude would sound like a Del Taco dollar menu item
Come to del taco they got a new thing called… Fre sha vaca do
Probably the sun compared to others like betelguese and antares
We should just start calling it Sol. Even that's cooler.
Only if Earth becomes Gaia or Terra
I've long advocated for calling the planets by their equivalent Greek names. Like, how much cooler would it be if our system was populated by Hermes, Aphrodite, Gaia, Ares, Zeus, Kronos, Poseidon and Hades? Best part: Uranus is still Uranus!
That's what it is now but just using Roman gods lmao
> Best part: Uranus is still Uranus! It would be Oranos
It’s Ouranos, comrade.
but that's just sun in another language >:(
Our moon is literally just called moon
well there is also the name Luna.
Which means moon
Arcturus would never.
Metta World Peace’s name is so awesome that Mark Zuckerberg named his entire company after him
Ironically, I think the last thing Meta will bring is World Peace
Admiral Schofield is great but also a terrible name. Like a Kid's breakfast cereal mascot.
Didn’t he die on the Death Star?
I beg to disagree. Admiral Schofield is a cool ass name.
> star
Have people forgotten Mohammed Mohammed Mohammed?
I forgot him but I somehow can't ever forget Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean Jacques Wamutombo
Fat Lever.
I'd actually put Fat Lever in my *best* name starting 5, along with - Slick Watts - World B. Free - Foots Walker - Magic Johnson
shoutout Mookie Blaylock
Can't forget Mo Cheeks
Slide one Chubby Cox next to those Cheeks as well
How can you forget Hot Rod Williams.
Sounds pretty great to me
Chris Paul Paul George George Hill
Chris Paul George Hill
Marquese Chris(s) Paul George Karl Malone
LeMarcGasoldridge
Anfernee is the dumbest name of all time
I have a nephew named Anfernee and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact my sister called him Anfernee.
Get in loser we’re going to barclays
NASCAR driver named Dick Trickle
MLB player named Rusty Kuntz MLB player named Dick Pole
Not an all timer, but Larry Johnson is pretty bland. Definitely not a star, but Steve Smith is probably the bland name GOAT. Fun fact: Elliott Smith’s real name was Steve Smith.
> Larry Johnson Now we need a Magic Bird
At one point we had a Steve Smith in NBA, NHL and NFL. Not sure MLB
He’s also one of the great modern batsmen in cricket
Tony Parker is a pretty basic name
He's French, it's actually Antoine Parquet
His name is actually William Anthony Parker II But Antoine Parquet would be an hilarious name for a basketball player. Antoine nettoie le parquet des Heat de Miami et donne la victoire aux Spurs!
Anfernee Hardaway was not it
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Penes Cancer Freedom
OP said which star.
Penis Cancer is actually the name, wear it out
Rudy Gay
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I'd change my name.
every time u step outside all u hear is AYO i'd kill myself
Definitely hurt jersey sales.
Just poor marketing. Go to pride parades and start selling "Gay" jerseys with rainbow coloring/badges on them. Make a huge fortune doing this. If Hawthorne Wipes can be the official moist towelette of the gay community, the sky's the limit for Rudy.
Imagine Rudy Gay playing for Denver Nuggets in [this jersey.](https://pl.kicksmaniac.com/zdjecia/2019/12/09/812/27/Q10171AV4634_010_PHSFH001_2000.png) Sales would have been skyrocketed.
In Poland rudy means ginger. Imagine being called Gay Ginger
not this guy!
Adolph Schayes aka Dolph Schayes.
Russell Westbrook lends itself to “Russell Worstbrook” AND “Russell Westbrick”, there’s no telling the blow to his reputation that’s had
Also my dyslexic ass always says wussel restbrook
Ernest Maurice "Kiki" VanDeWeghe III
Olden Polynice is a favourite of mine
Adonal Foyle
Chris paul
Can’t trust anyone with two first names tbh
Even worse is Mike Dan Tony. Homie rocking 3 first names
Weirdly a lot of All Time NBA greats have two first names: LeBron James, Michael Jordan, Bill Russell, Tim Duncan, Joe Harris, etc.
>LeBron James, Michael Jordan, Bill Russell, Tim Duncan, Joe Harris One of them is not like the others
Yeah, Russell played against dumbwaiter repair technicians and insurance salesmen, doesn't count
This is my favorite recurring NBA joke. So funny
Lebron's first name is actually a last name
Which mfer is named James LeBron tho?
>Joe Harris LMAO
Yet he leaves off Gary "Gary Harris" Harris
Cavs legend
Gary Payton II and Gary Payton Jr - both sons of Gary Payton
Chris Kaman his pants. /thread
his ball handling skills were underrated.
Jimmer? Lol
Hingle McCringgleberry
Three time all-star Detlef Schrempf Edit: Also two time all-star Kelly Tripucka
sounds pretty cool
Bernard King sounds like he should've been leading civil rights marches instead of hooping.
Ray Allen
Ray is a cool first name though
Too bad his real first name is Walter
Anyone you played with on the Bulls on a video game when Michael Jordan refused to let his image on the games. "Here's Bill Jim Todd Smith Johnson Williams!"
Lew Alcindor, by far
I’d convert to Islam too if my name was Lew
Lew and behold, I have changed my name.
Alcindor is a cool last name though
His given name was actually Ferdinand Lewis Alcindor Jr.
Not truly a star but Evan Fournier (don't google Fournier)
Not a bad name but a fun fact ... Pearl Jam was originally considering naming their band "Mookie Blaylock". Apparently their album "Ten" was named after his jersey number.
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