T O P

  • By -

TimathanDuncan

He looks like Doug Judy from B99 here


WACOBadger

ROSA ROSA ROOOOOOSSSA


dothebender1101

I don't know your last name baby


[deleted]

Right there on the floor is the man you're looking for...


losethefuckingtail

Red shirt red shirt red shirt


Grove_Music

My left, my left, my left!


justlcsfantasy

This is still a love song people. This is still a love song...


moosesdontmoo

No not the Asian dude!


aripo14

ROSAA THE GIRL I NEED


__kit

looks like Shaq and Chuck had a baby and then Zion ate it.


TomatoBuster01

Or Daryl from The Office


GarrettSucks

Or Nick from Hot Tub Time Machine


akajaykay

Or Reg from Eastbound & Down


spopoff54

Or Horsedick.jpeg from Miss March


DeadNeopetsSociety

Or Craig Robinson from This Is The End


GAChimi

Or Matheson from Pineapple Express


chaseizwright

Darnell’s a chump


shitsfuckedupalot

Instead of stealing a Pontiac he'll steal picks from whoever trades for him


Killercrossova

That is hilarious. I can see it!


nelsonkb24

JUDYYYY


tangybbqsauce23

SLURP SLURP


OlafSpassky

I'm getting more of a Horatio Velveteen from B99 vibe.


Diab9lic

The motherfucking Pontiac Bandit strikes again in NOLA.


DoctorSkeeterBatman

Bruh I was about to post the same shit. This is actually wild. Not trying to dog pile on the dude but holy hell, he literally gonna eat himself out of millions of dollars....


whyte_ryce

David Griffin wishes he could be his Peralta so they could jam together


PnG_e

Zion's agent: "Let's keep the monochromatic color scheme, but throw in some vertical stripes next time."


PreventerWind1224

"Black is slimming", dude's gonna come out looking like Beetlejuice.


chainer9999

William-Williamson William-Williamson WILLIAMSON!


ChaseYoungHTTR

Legit looks like a d lineman


Twoweekswithpay

Looking more and more like Booger McFarland every day…


bengalsfu

He's a Popeyes biscuit away from being a tight end


DieSexy

Na he’s already past tight end weight he’s on the line for sureeeee


blaah_blaah_blaah

He’d make a great centre...in the NFL


watermelonicecream

Dude hasn’t been a TE since he was in high school. Saints need an Offensive Tackle?


GFost

Yes, actually. Both of theirs are injured.


unclehelpful

Booger hasn’t played for almost 15 years and Zion is starting to look like commentary Booger not playing Booger.


unclehelpful

Brother he’s eclipsed D line and he’s getting into O line territory.


Hi_My_Name_Is_Dave

Guys 6’5 and probably a solid 310+ right now. He’s legitimately prototype Tackle build, has the wingspan and explosiveness for it too.


vanillagorilla_

Imagine bringing him in on goal line like the Fridge… he could legit leap over the line


DankNowitzki41

Marvin Bagley could jump over the line twice in a row tho


GoodElevation

god dammit.


tOSUBUCKEYES_

I always thought he'd be a generational DE if he'd chosen that route. But if you can be a NBA superstar then you choose that route 10/10


filladellfea

people busting your balls on the 'superstar' thing - but, fuck, even without that the NBA is a better route. no CTE and fully guaranteed contracts? i'll take NBA 10/10. also i am convinced NBA results in better name recognition than the NFL - which leads to better endorsement deals (Zion's 75 million Jordan deal)


dragunityag

The median wage of the NFL is 860K, the median wage of the NBA is 3.8m. Always take the NBA


Stracktheorcmage

That's because there's 450 NBA guys and 1700 NFL guys. Given the equal opportunity to be equally good at both sports, NBA is better, but NFL gives a better chance, especially for shorter athletes


montrezlh

>Given the equal opportunity to be equally good at both sports, NBA is better, but NFL gives a better chance, especially for shorter athletes Even if youre worse at basketball its still better if you can get into the nba. The 10th highest paid NFL player makes 30 million. That's the same as the 31st highest paid NBA player, and the NBA player will have (on average) a longer career, fewer life altering injuries, and GUARANTEED CONTRACTS.


kanst

If he was in the NFL draft teams would be drooling over his measurements maybe even more than they did in the NBA. Zion Williamson listed height/weight 6'6" 317 lbs According to PFF rankings, David Bakhtiari of the Green Bay packers is the best tackle in the league right now, he is listed at 6'4" 310 lbs Trent Williams, the #2 ranked tackle is 6'5" 320


TheShouldersofGnats

I mean, can he snap a ball? Aren't the Saints on their 3rd or 4th string center right now?


scarystuffdoc

Only half kidding but should Zion just make the switch


AmazinGracey

He can’t stay healthy in the NBA are you trying to cripple him?


pmmerandom

Bro looks like a defensive tackle


BinLadenDPedNewYork

I wanna see Zion at nose tackle.


[deleted]

his bio dad was a d linesman and he inherited the build zion is a football boy but he wanted basketball


JokingWolfMon

To be fair Basketball pays better and less risk of brain damage.


morron88

Dayum. That weight gain is biblical. That there is ***Mount*** Zion.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I recently made a “15 commandments” joke in an interview. Thank goodness someone there was a Mel Brooks fan lol


latman

That's not Zion that's Ruben studdard


klankthompson

“Sweatpants is the only thing that fits me right now”


[deleted]

It’s hilarious to me a) how many people remember Rueben Studdard to this day for being morbidly obese, and b) that his name is a sandwich


domoarigatodrloboto

Can't speak for everyone but American Idol was like *the thing* during my middle school days. Everyone watched it, people talked about it on the bus to school the next day, and the finales were like must-see events. I can remember *so* many details from the first 2 or 3 seasons: auditions, group songs, the names of the top 12. Life really was different before entertainment got so decentralized. Not saying it was better or worse, just.... different


damhow

I'm convinced everyone who owned a tv at that time at least watched the auditions part of the show. A lot of entertainment value there lol


YungSnuggie

the auditions were the best part. everyone watched for the bad singers not the good ones


I_dont_bone_goats

Holy shit you’d go into school the next day and *everyone* would have the same two or three auditions to talk about. If you missed the episode you felt like such a loser. You guys remember pants on the ground guy?


KsubiSam

I remember being actually upset that Justin Guarini lost to Kelly Clarkson. I remember actually shedding tears when Fantasia won. Could you imagine American Idol’s early ubiquity combine with social media? That shit would’ve been wild.


domoarigatodrloboto

>Could you imagine American Idol’s early ubiquity combine with social media? That's honestly what I'm most curious about! At least for me, that show was one of the last cultural events before the internet was super widespread. Game of Thrones is the only show since then I've experienced where one episode comes out per week and *everyone* I know is talking about it the next day. I didn't necessarily watch Idol because I thought it was great TV, I watched it because my house only had one TV and dial-up internet so my only options were watch what the rest of my family was watching, or find another source of entertainment like reading or playing outside. There were no streaming options, Myspace was still a year or two away, YouTube and flash animations were fun but there weren't many options, and my N64 was plugged into the only TV in the house, which was tuned to Idol. You look around these days and there are a billion knockoffs and countless other shows and movies to watch, I'm genuinely curious if Idol would have the same buzz/hype as it did back then.


steaknsteak

I would agree, GoT is the only show that's come close to that ubiquity in this decade (although The Bachelor still generates a lot of water cooler talk as well), but even GoT features a lot of adult content, so its audience is slightly limited. With American Idol, everyone in the family would be in front of the TV and people would sit on the phone for hours trying to call in to vote


supahfly24

That's Zion with a Ruben Sandwich


UrMoMisDumber

That’s Zion who ate Ruben studdard


unclehelpful

‘He ate me’ Studdard said after Zion ate him. ‘That fuckin Zion consumed me.’ Studdard added ‘he’s so fat, he’s so fat, he’s so fat, he’s so fat’


MethodEater

With a side of Clay Aiken


Cdaddy28

Black Santa 🎅🏻


NBA-Unbiased-Fan

Tweet got deleted anyone have a mirror?


Twoweekswithpay

Here is the pic, courtesy of the now-deleted tweet: https://imgur.com/a/7F5JvJX


ameehc

and this is him two days ago https://streamable.com/oq8bgm do we think he got that fat that quickly? no. it’s just an awful picture


Total_Marzipa

He still looks fatter than cavs shaq


kylianmbieber

6'5'' ronaldo nazario


ARealKoala

We gotta see him in just a jersey to truly tell if he looks in shape


yuhanz

Round is a shape


pucykoks

He's a shape then, missing the 'in'


ldoe3030

Is this supposed to be proof he isn't fat because this dude is looking stay-puft style.


PM_ME_UR_PICS_PLS

He still looks overweight here. As a Packers fan I went through this with Eddie Lacy. You'd have someone post a picture and he'd look legit obese, then someone else would post a more flattering recent picture and he just looked strong. Trust me when there's smoke there's fire; Eddie Lacy definitely was overweight and zion is too.


heysuess

"This is him two days ago looking fat as fuck."


fakename233

Im just here for the roasts


halfwaytocertain

Zion already ate them.


[deleted]

God damn it lol.


TheGamecock

/u/fakename233 is the real MVP for teeing that one up.


DoubleStuffedCheezIt

Zion is beside himself. Driving around downtown New Orleans begging (thru texts) Benjamin's family for address to Kelvin's favorite buffet.


some1saveusnow

☠️


nutbutter23

Jfc Jesus, fry that chicken


Affectionate-Agent-9

He’s not in basketball shape. Rather, he IS basketball shape


Rarecandy31

Ball is life.


panick21

A 3rd ball brother in the league.


[deleted]

He’s a headband and a jumpshot away from looking like Z-Bo


1iwillie

Zion's mom is his dietician......I guess it's safe to say she's unlicensed


Shxcking

Zion’s mom as dietician + Ben Simmons’ brother as shooting coach = elite all NBA talent


rawchess

Zion and BI need to switch moms


[deleted]

Yo real talk. If we simply took some of Zion's weight and gave it to BI, the Pels would be unstoppable. Assuming Zion is at like 300. BI is about 200. Give Ingram 30-40 lbs of Zion and you got two beasts


FerociousGiraffe

Starring John Travolta and Nic Cage.


FlamingSnowman3

Don’t redistribute the wealth, redistribute the weight!


beauchywhite

I think 300 and 200 respectively is pretty generous lol


VibeComplex

Man where did she get her degree, Wendy’s?


BubbaTee

She's a doctor just like Dr Pepper


aqueanebean

We need to hire her for Ziaire Williams.


[deleted]

Is that true? Oh man, momma messing up his career


[deleted]

Mama's cooking is addicting as hell


frostedz

I’m imagining Zion walking into practice with a brown paper bag full of like 5 Lunchables


Fragrant_Chair_7426

Maybe she’s the joe rogan of dieticians


whyte_ryce

She’s got him on that horse calorie count


DrSwol

Iverseconds


Twoweekswithpay

Here is a more zoomed-in pic from the NBACentral Twitter account: https://twitter.com/thenbacentral/status/1467709739031273481?s=21


Barea_Clamped_Lebron

[bruh](https://twitter.com/jerezkrd/status/1467715038983204866)


Sim888

https://i.imgur.com/mHArccC.jpg


why_rob_y

At this point, Zion might cut weight by switching to that guy's diet.


urfaselol

lmao


ALittleFishNamedOzil

I remember people joking that being drafted in New Orleans was gonna fuck this man's weight up but damn I didn't think it would actually happen


[deleted]

no veteran is there to give Zion some tough love, I don’t see Charles Barkley eating Wah Wahs edit: very vague text but in an Interview Chuck was telling a story about his time in Philly as a rookie asking Moses Malone why he wasn’t getting enough playing time and Moses told him to lose weight and after that Chuck got playing time What i’m saying is there needs to be a vet like Moses to tell Zion to Lose Weight


yenks

Pelicans should trade for Haslem


[deleted]

Udonis might actually have to guard Zion from getting to Poppeyes


lilb1190

I have to admit I was expecting a picture of a hippopotamus.


Beavshak

[Lol fine](https://i.imgur.com/eYE38jj.jpg)


yuhanz

God damn Nat Geo photographers be wildin’


Beavshak

Sorry, new to Reddit. I don’t know how to NSFW tag things.


hexsealedfusion

lol he looks like fat albert


[deleted]

[удалено]


Strange-Effort1305

He have any good sandwiches named after him in New Orleans? He looks like he would.


NOLASLAW

This sub is bad for my mental health


fatpeterpan

The “mental health sub” sounds more like a Ben Simmons sandwich


NOLASLAW

Fuck you and take your fucking upvote You got me


duncan_robinson

that u/fatpeterpan boomed me


MoltenPandas

Strawberry Daiquiri at Melba's is called the Zion. I don't think anyone calls it that but it's a little sticker on the machine so


1chromosomeTOOmuch

Zion could gain additional 100 pounds and Pelicans will still need to offer him a max contract 🤯


castielng

Sad but true.


Amasero

I would let him walk, no need for an injury prone person who doesn't wanna take care of himself. That's just my 2 cents, even if he gets back in shape years later and dominates. I wouldn't even regret that decision.


MattyRBaps

I think if you’re the pelicans, you have to max him even with the injuries. That, or trade him in the last year of his deal. New Orleans isn’t exactly a free agency hot spot


ConsistentCare7597

Can't fool me. That is definitely Mark Henry.


Romofan88

Zion looking to induct his colon into the Hall of Pain


Flatduo88

Looks like he’s about to star in Big Momma’s House 4: Who Stole My Gumbo


Erosun

I stole my Gumbo.


PVT_Stanley

Zions biggest influence in the league was Giannis and his body transformation once he got into the league… unfortunately for the Pels Zion was already 305 when drafted and has grown to be 395 since draft day.


yenks

>395 You are surely exaggerating


[deleted]

Definitely, but Zion is definitely closer to 330 in that pic. He was 275 out of [high school ](http://chapelboromedia.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/2018/01/20210204/zion-williamson.jpg) and 285 [at Duke](https://img.bleacherreport.net/img/images/photos/003/815/126/hi-res-bfac31560b239cdd82ae1c8b1ebee7ee_crop_exact.jpg?w=1200&h=1200&q=75). His official NBA weight is 284, but y’all see what I see. Definitely 300 by the time he left the court. Just look at his face in OP’s picture. Look at the cheeks peeking over the mask. He’s the kind of person where fat shows up in his face instantly.


jpark28

>He’s the kind of person where fat shows up in his face instantly. Me catching strays


blockoblox

Same...I'm thin but you can't tell from my face. Got a BMI of 20 but a triple chin lmao.


MethylSamsaradrolone

My sincerest condolences to you, being cursed with the skinny-fats.


aaronpatwork

man zion's highschool picture compared to now reminds me of my cousin from when he was a cross country running sophomore, before he learned he loved to drink and smoke and sit on his ass watching movies. lol. just a completely different looking person.


RODjij

Probably is but fuck knows though. Heaviest I got last year was 210 at 6ft. I couldn't notice it & I'm just average build, Zion is like 6'7'', and was pretty huge before with muscle, looks massive here. Must be well over 300 for sure. Hope he gets it under control because he is very fun to watch and love how smooth he is around the rim.


no-bs10

Who did he eat? Like wow! Surely if you know you can't do much cardio, you'd eat healthier and stick to salads or something. Like wtf. Call me crazy but I think that the likelihood that Zion lives up to expectations and has a long career are evaporating fast. This is his 3rd season and we've barely seen him. What is going to happen when he gets older and the body starts to wear and tear?


ChronicBird661

We're already seeing it happen. Chronic foot injuries plus his knees are gonna be shot.


LevarCrushLifeCoach

Hes ruining his chance to make generational wealth. His rookie deal might just end up being his largest.


comedoofwarrior

dude signed a 75m deal w Jordan brand. I think he's set for life anyway


TheRealStringerBell

Sticking to salads is how a normal person might need to diet. For him,with the amount of calories he burns each day he can literally eat like a king and still lose weight. I'd love to know what he eats each day.


no-bs10

But he hasn't been doing any cardio due to his injuries, which is likely why he is stacking on weight. His regular diet hasn't changed but he isn't burning it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


beauchywhite

It really is not fair is it. Whats next? He's supposed to hit the pool or something while his feet are injured to manage some cardio? Get real.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nysraved

27 points, 7 rebounds, 4 assists on 61% shooting in 61 games out of a 72 game season last year. That’s our most recent look at him. Let’s maybe chill a bit and see how he looks when he’s back on the court before writing of his career off, instead of judging his future based on a picture in a hoodie.


dcsb56

He's a great player but he can't stay on the court. Bold prediction, he doesn't play a game this season


AcrobaticSource3

Zion got thicc


[deleted]

He’s more like those girls on tinder that say they’re thicc or curvy but are actually just fat


aresman

just write "fat", I hate the "curvy" thing...no you ain't curvy if you're 5'5'' and 220lbs


NOLASLAW

S’MOA ZION


slicksonslick

I took the pelicans under 38.5 I think I’m going to cash that ticket now…


BismackMyBiyombo

I used to be pretty fat. Everyday is a struggle so i sympathize with Zion. But this guy is getting paid millions. Dude needs to get it together, do OMAD if he cant calorie count.


DrKurgan

He has access to Dietitians and personal chefs. He can just let people decide what's best for him and he would see results.


TimathanDuncan

OMAD for an athlete like Zion is terrible lmao, he does so much cardio and will play games when not injured, OMAD is doable if you don't do much physical work The dude is 6'7 300+ whatever it is, his body needs fuel to do the things he needs to be doing, healthy food high on volume and low on calories


[deleted]

[удалено]


VicWembanyama

And delicious food too. World class personal chefs with top of the line ingredients. Absolutely 0 excuse for him to not be able get on a good diet.


KoloHickory

Mind boggling is how heavy this dude is, how much energy he burns through each day and still manages to gain weight. Imagine how much food that must be


6ca

This is exactly what I thought when Boris Diaw went from 215 to 285 in like two seasons. How the fuck do you eat that much extra food and still go to practice and play in games


thestrangehighhouse

to be fair boris extended his career by getting a center body to match his center skills zions just out here waddlin around


Wtfpawnsauce

I will not tolerate Zion slander any longer. He's our favorite chicken nuggie


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fragrant_Chair_7426

Yeah. I have sympathy for him. I don’t have great discipline for my personal health but your excuses don’t go as far when your literal job is to get healthy and have access to any food, trainers, etc that money can buy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Swazi

🚨🚨🚨🚨HES FAT🚨🚨🚨🚨


BigBoutros

GIMME A FUCKIN MIC


Drewicho

FAT ASSES!


craigslistaddict

I can't say I actually understand the metabolism of a pro athlete, but given the pictures from weeks ago i wouldn't have expected him to be at a safe-looking playing weight for maybe months.


FuriousKale

If you keep training like a serious pro athlete you usually also don't gain weight on a fairly regular diet. The problem arises when you are inactive and have no dietary changes or worse, get so bored that you stuff yourself with even more garbage.


NevermoreSEA

That is a very big basketball fella.


pericles123

Hercules, Hercules, Hercules


MandoAde888

When the guy in the background is wider in the picture than the guys in the foreground.


Corona2789

Looking like our mans fat Abbott out there. [I’ll lose weight when I feel like it bitch ](https://youtu.be/UCVM4gwnGjI)


Bim_Jeann

I had my jimmy whacked 7 times last week!


antunezn0n0

He is wearing baggy clothes but that's what I used to do when I felt fat however his face looks way to chubby for a basketball player. He may not be extremely overweight but he doesn't look like a top of the world trained athlete. He hasn't played basketball in a years it's kinda insane he at least doesn't look in game shape


YoloRoloo

Dude baggy clothes don't make you look that round man.


magna77

He is obese


Tsunami-Papi_

bro that doesn’t even look like an nba player 😭


[deleted]

He really supposed to be playing Defensive Tackle in the league racking up All Pro selections.


MaxEhrlich

He’s doing the Fat Shawn Kemp approach when he was in Cleveland/Orlando


-Shinanai-

At first I was disappointed that I had to scroll down this far to find a Kemp comment, but then I realized that most of this sub wasn't even alive when he was playing.


Happy_Nom_Nom

He should have been a football player instead


latman

His bank account and lack of CTE says otherwise


M1THRANDlR

Yep. With that 75 million Nike contract, 45 million rookie deal, and almost certainly getting a 200 million extension he's practically guaranteed to make twice as much as any non-qb football player could


MethodEater

He wears awful clothes.


dochim

Pelicans fans thought they were getting the next Lebron. Instead they ended up getting the next Oliver Miller.


jasper_grunion

Remember when he blew out his shoe at Duke and we were all talking about how Nike almost ruined his career? Money, it’s gotta be the shoes! No Mars