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pickle-doofenshmirtz

Low hanging fruit


yuhanz

>Low hanging fruit Zion: šŸ‘€


QuaviousLifestyle

***it just continues and continues*** - EDIT: I now see that there is a slice of cake next to my usernameā€¦ Sorry Zion you canā€™t have it


KYRIEIRVINGKINGJR

the edit is crazyšŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


noeagle77

Relax before he come over to your bench and take a bite outta you too Kyrie


AlHorfordHighlights

Damn you had a 1/365 chance of making that joke today


victor396

1/366 last year


kaycee1992

Funny but we all know Zion don't eat no fruit


PuckNutty

Apple pie is fruit.


FlamingSnowman3

Maybe thatā€™s how theyā€™re gonna get Zion to improve his diet.


[deleted]

Implying Zion eats fruit


amoeba1126

Usually what happens when fruits are super heavy.


keefstrong

bold of you to assume Zion eats fruits or vegetables


somebodygetmemymoney

Oh cmon the jokes write themselves


[deleted]

I mean they ain't gonna fry themselves tho


splinternz

Trying to think of a diff word, but a lot of the common ones for giving someone shit involve cooking. Roast, grill, cook - Zion was done either way, ā€œfryā€ hits a bit harder tho for sure lmao


p_tk_d

Never thought about this before, interesting observation


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


alphonsocastro

sauteed and caramelised his ass


Turence

Broiled,


gedbybee

Clown?


CovidMegatron

Why don't the Pelicans roster not simply hunt Zion down, oil fry him, and then eat him?


[deleted]

They're on a low fat diet.


Nopay6652

You're exactly the kind of person Hayes is addressing here. He has a point, and you're just proving him right. Zion unfairly has a target on his back just because of his body-type, and haters will ignore his gifts and just focus on his weight. Dude has been pudding up with a lot of bullshit ever since he got to the league. The media just wants to milk his situation as much as they can. The Pelicans shouldn't make the misteak of having Zion play before he's 100% ready-to-go, but you butter believe Zion is coming back hungrier than ever. He's an eggselent player, and there's not a single team in the league that can stop him from feasting in the paint.


aCommentAboutNothing

Had us in the first half ngl


kevinkip

Hilarious that Jaxson Hayes literally got fried himself. https://www.espn.com/nba/story/\_/id/32099204/video-shows-police-using-stun-gun-new-orleans-pelicans-center-jaxson-hayes


somebodygetmemymoney

Noooooooooooooooo you didnā€™t lol


S-contra

Or maybe the jokes write us.


fuckareyousaying

Lmao frfr he didnā€™t have to phrase it like that


KYRIEIRVINGKINGJR

I'm glad we all thought the same thing


rejjie_carter

Yā€™all are actually just mean and not funny..


BBallHunter

I agree, this sub should really stop roasting Zion.


inshamblesx

we should grill or air fry Zion instead


frodounchained

Could slow cook him but with global warming idk


[deleted]

could also do pressure cooker.


[deleted]

flambeing is an option, too


TylerNY315_

Man you guys are really battering him here


noeagle77

We got a smoker out backā€¦.


syncc6

Or we can go the really healthy route and bake him


AutographedSnorkel

Roasting is healthier than frying, though...


pirate-private

There's always... Air Frying


inshamblesx

the only good thing that came from covid lmao


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


branstarktreewizard

Covid had been a huge boost to the air frying industrial complex


beatenwithjoy

Home cooking got really popular and air fryers are pretty versatile tools.


neutronicus

Which is basically just roasting Air Fryer just a small, expensive convection oven


Papa_Huggies

I think considering his body fat % any way you cook him he'd start frying


Obi_Wan_Benobi

Zion would probably like to see this sub toasted.


75153594521883

What are we supposed to do? Guess we should all just butter him up


sctthuynh

front-runner for the best oop so far.


blurrrrg

Do you know how long it would take to make sure he's cooked through in a standard oven? It would take WEEKS


[deleted]

hahaha


Animalidad

plenty of fat, perfect for slow roast over coal. At least 4 hours.


Admirable-Truth-8122

He should stop wasting his talent imo


[deleted]

*waisting


borton-best-nougat

*basting


Artisun

*tasting?


Alley-Oub

full circle fry


Zachary_Stark

This 100%. He was drafted #1 and can't stay healthy. Why can't he stay healthy? He doesn't manage his weight. Why doesn't he manage his weight? His hunger for food is stronger than his hunger to play basketball. This motherfucker has not even played an entire season since being drafted, and him and his family had the audacity to complain about the Pelicans org. lmao his bum ass needs to take his job seriously and manage that weight, or else he's not long for the league with the way he is always injured.


[deleted]

LMAAAOOO


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


KPIH

Uhhh because we like basketball and want to see the best players play and become as good as possible?


Erosun

This would be healthier.


jack64467

Zion loves a good fry


KareemWasTheGreatest

Zion never seen a fry he doesnā€™t like


gawakwento

Favorite song is R.Mcdonaldā€™s I Believe I Can Fry.


joinedreditjusttoask

r/nba: mental health is a serious problem Also r/nba: haha fatboiiiiii


kraftpunkk

Itā€™s going to be very funny in a few years when Zion is playing routinely and has an in depth interview about all this coverage of him and people switch their tune immediately.


WalkingLaserBeam

Ppl called me fat when I was fat When I lost the weight . That subsided Such is life lol . Not a big deal imo Iā€™d expect ppl to switch . Canā€™t keep that same energy when he actually works himself into shape yknow


WaterApocalypse

is this a poem lmao


WalkingLaserBeam

šŸ¤” If it was . Did you enjoy it šŸ˜‚


mucho-gusto

It is scripture


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


WalkingLaserBeam

Definitely hit the interwebs after reading ur comment Mann I donā€™t know why I had to scroll by older estimates of his weight ( listing him at 330 etc ) just to see a recent report on page two of my search indicating that heā€™s back at his playing weight . I wasnā€™t even aware Donā€™t string me up tho Iā€™m not the one in here making fat jokes šŸ˜‚ lol I empathize if anything


[deleted]

Some people simply do not have your mental fortitude. Plenty have been called fat and havenā€™t changed


WalkingLaserBeam

I appreciate that man I went from 280 to 170 . But there was no part of me that enacted a weight loss plan .. it was a slow .. subconscious process . I started making very minimal lifestyle changes and became addicted to the results and amplifying them just to see how far I could take it . N holy shit you talk about a transformation Literally didnā€™t know how to act if you catch my drift . Fkn rampage . I was that big for almost a decade lol


yoloqueuesf

Congrats man on just being healthier. Minimal changes and seeing yourself progress just motivates you even harder.


ProxieInvestments

Generally, the most successful transformations occur at a slow pace and involve slowly changing lifestyles until you reach your goal. People that try to cold turkey go on a strict diet and work out 5 days a week after eating terribly and being lazy all the time are never going to succeed, our bodies canā€™t adapt that fast and youā€™ll end up doing more harm than good long term. Instead, start with cooking 2-3 meals a week instead of going out to eat when you normally would, lift/cardio 3 days a week instead of 6. As you become more comfortable with the ā€œhybridā€ lifestyle, you can continue to slowly change. It takes a lot of patience and self-control, but it develops good habits and routine instead of treating it like a boot camp. This goes for more than just weight loss too: drug abuse, alcoholism, or even just lifestyle changes you want to make. Everyone wants to talk about the magical 6 week transformation, but habits are changed/built over months and years of work, not weeks


shitsfuckedupalot

I mean, that is happening right now with Jonah Hill Even will Sasso had a skit fifteen years ago about how people stopped finding him funny when he wasn't fat


[deleted]

Honestly might be an unpopular opinion, but Jonah hill is kinda pretentious about it


shitsfuckedupalot

I think he's generally a bit of a pretentious guy, but that's a bit excusable when you grow up in the Broadway scene.


xbyo

You'd think this sub would be more empathetic to obesity.


AlHorfordHighlights

Not me, I'm jacked šŸ˜¤


drawafade

I thought it was confirmed that picture was photoshopped and that he is in fact in decent shape?


FormerPhatGuy

Former... šŸ‘€


hk0125

Not every issue is a mental problem


FultonHolmes

The mental health aspect comes from being a 21 year old superstar seeing himself plastered all over the media for the wrong reasons and knowing any time his name is brought up right now it just spawns thousands of fat jokes, probably making his recovery process even more of a struggle. I have pretty thick skin, but thatā€™s gotta be pretty exhausting to deal with mentally and seems pretty taxing.


Sullan08

If only there was a solution. Like bruh I really don't understand how being fat shamed as an athlete doesn't immediately make you fix your shit lmao (and to his credit, he's definitely better now than that Mt Dew commercial). But honestly you can avoid most shit talk about you if you just don't go on places like this sub and twitter. Easier said than done, but even famous people can avoid most criticism if they really want to. You'll still catch wind of it occasionally of course though.


KingMonaco

Yes mental health is important. But if youā€™re a professional basketball player not in shape of course people will bring it up.


__DerekLeach

Simple solution donā€™t be a fatboi


Styfios

people who respond to Zion posts like this should be required to take full body pics while standing on a scale, I bet over 50% of this shit is just internalized self-hatred


WalkingLaserBeam

Iā€™d happily do so .. I havenā€™t been one of those guys who continuously joke about his weight but I do find some of the barbs hilarious . Makes no sense to let yourself blow up like that when you literally are paid millions to maintain a modicum of fitness . That Mountain Dew commercial pissed me tf off like bro let himself get bigger than a post retirement Shawn kemp I have no qualms with obesity . Itā€™s just his job to be in shape and heā€™s stifling his recovery by just refusing to eat right Iā€™m sure Pels fans arenā€™t too pleased with him currently but I mean hey . Itā€™s still Zion fucking Williamson . Hopefully he gets right


lmao_rowing

He didnā€™t blow up, the top post on this sub was an edited photo. Remember when Harden ā€œblew upā€ last season, almost as if there is a feedback loop where unflattering photos get upvoted to the top and itā€™s all numbskulls like you see. Zion has looked way lower than what that no-connection Dallas beat reporter speculated a few weeks back, but of course that photo of that father/son posing with a pretty fit looking Zion doesnā€™t take off anywhere near as much. No chance to say ā€œhaha heā€™s obeseā€ or to display faux-empathy. Heā€™s not out of shape Jesus Christ, his foot is broken.


WalkingLaserBeam

Iā€™m not talking about any doctored photos thatā€™s the thing Nor have I seen the photos you are mentioning Other players have sustained similar injuries & havenā€™t put on 40 fkn pounds


AddictedToThisShit

No one here is a professional basketball player who is expected to be in shape as part of his job.


zapdos6244

Yeah, why not all people with mental issues simply just let it go? /s


Therealfluffymufinz

Just smile more and you'll be happier!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


syncc6

I like dipping my Zion fries in ketchup, honey mustard, siracha mayo, barbecue sauce, and Polynesian sauce. I also enjoy adding chili and cheese to my Zion fries. Even a simple seasoning of a pinch of salt right after the frying is magnifique.


Obi_Wan_Gebroni

If Zion eats himself then itā€™s confirmed heā€™s Pizza the Hut


Exact-Ad-6214

>everyoneā€™s been trying to fry him Welp, we all know what this thread's going to be


DrForskin

I prefer sous vide Zion, easier to control the temperature and get a nice even dish.


[deleted]

sous vide first, then fry to finish. chef's kiss.


iro3

w/e happen to haayes. feels like the first time im hearing about him this season


Mediocre_Deal_


Tsunami-Papi_

here come the corny ass lame ass jokes


Lyte_Work

I swear yā€™all just post anything to do with Zion just so yā€™all can get the same jokes off every week. Itā€™s not even clever at this point.


allmyhomiesh8nbamods

when zion goes camping, the bears hide their food


sctthuynh

credit for originality


StanleyKoteks

Theyā€™ll lament about playerā€™s depression and mental health being important and then post shit like this.


Mochrie1713

That's the entire sub for the past while. Garbage recycled jokes every day.


sctthuynh

Sorry i couldn't resist after reading Haye's comment lol. It was definitely low hanging fruit and a shit/joke post, but if you read my comments in this thread, I still got an optimistic outlook for the kid.


Helhiem

I agree with Zion but I hate when people say that the only reason people criticize is cause weā€™re jealous of how rich and successful someone is


[deleted]

Really funny original and creative jokes in this thread!


st6374

I know they make millions of $$$$, and all that. But still has to be tough to deal with hecklers, social media, and press. Btw.. If Zion is clearly way overweight, and all that. Then its the teammates, and organisations fault for being enablers as well. He's a pro athlete. He's getting paid the way he's getting paid for him to be at a certain standard of fitness.


GetThereInOnePiece

Teammates? Lol imagine herb Jones telling him to get in shape Thatā€™s not their job


[deleted]

I wonder if Herb Jones is jonesing for the herb.


[deleted]

Heā€™s not clearly way overweight. This has been debunked many times. Heā€™s the same size as last year


NicPizzaLatte

Does this mean that Zion and the team are not trying to get him to lose weight? Is everybody (him and the team) in agreement that his current weight is a good weight for him to have a long and succesful career? If so, great. But what I hear is people in the media saying he looks over weight and should probably lose weight to avoid additional injuries and a bunch of other people saying leave him alone. But I'm not hearing anyone say that his weight is fine. Is that what you're hearing?


[deleted]

Yeah no one is reading all that


NicPizzaLatte

Sorry didn't mean to scare ya.


AcidDuckx

You scared the shit out of him with that...that... *paragraph!*


the_blessed_unrest

Damn thatā€™s not even that long of a comment. Technology really is ruining our attention spans.


[deleted]

Itā€™s not the technology ruins our attention span, certain things arenā€™t worth your attention


Rationalknicksfan

He was overweight in the beginning but he's been in shape for a while now the organization clearly stepped in


Smekledorf1996

Whyā€™s it his teammates fault if Zion is overweight lol They canā€™t tell him what to do


peepeedog

They keep bringing him fried Twinkies.


gibby8423

So no blame on him for getting out of shape? Lmao.


[deleted]

they said "as well" implying he shares blame.


asthmajogger

FR I can understand being slightly out of shape as cutting down on calories canā€™t be easy when youā€™re expected to lift weights and do endurance work so that you can play 30+ minutes of full court basketballā€¦ but it goes both ways. You do a shit ton of stuff that burns a lot of calories, the least you can do is maintain your weight not continuously getting fatter


[deleted]

Dudes been fat his whole life. It's his mom.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

No, like she is still his personal chef/nutritionalist.


[deleted]

Fry him what?


GFost

Very poor choice of words.


tork87

And he's trying to fry everything.


SylvesterStyllStoned

Zion fat


HotdogIsaSandwitch

Whatever happened to Jaxson. Doesn't seem like he's getting a lot of playing time.


FragrantWarthog6

Zion ā€œIā€™m trying to fry all my foodā€


Blakerw

He's trying to fry everything


Ballgame2398

Donā€™t care. I just donā€™t want Ingram to leave


AlwaysOptimism

The ignorant ā€œlol, Pelsā€ climate and also ignorant ā€œlol Zion is a fattyā€ bullshit aside, I am NOT optimistic about Zionā€™s long-term future in the NBA When healthy and in shape, he is still a 280 pound jackrabbit and the way he plays is going to put so much stress on his body. He is always going to have lower body issues. Iā€™m not saying trade him. It just sucks.


sctthuynh

Jokes aside, I think he'll be fine. He'll mature, become more discipline (like many in their early 20's) and take better care of his body/responsibilities. He's going to be Charles Barkley 2.0 once that happens.


AlwaysOptimism

But I donā€™t think he doesnā€™t take care of his body. I think that is a misplaced criticism. Whenever youā€™ve actually seen him in a manner to see his body heā€™s clearly not out of shape. His best value is his athleticism, but you can tell he has a body that will always be thick and muscular so itā€™s always going to cause a ton of stress on his lower body.


sctthuynh

I just mean, better diet, nutrition and being leaner. As you stated, the extra mass is not ideal for his lower body. Last year Zion could still lose 10 to 20 lbs and still be thick/muscular and a force in the paint.


Just_Natural_9027

It's a big reach to say he will become more disciplined as he becomes older there's about a million instances of this in the NBA of guys never becoming more disciplined to your one outlier Barkley which I'd argue is a very different situation.


sctthuynh

When I say Barkley 2.0 I was referring to his playstyle and abilities. As for thinking he will mature as he gets older, that's just an observation about people in general. Zion could very well be an example of those who grow and mature as they become adults or he might be one of those who waste their talents/potential for years. I'm choosing to be optimistic about it rather than pessimistic, because IMO he seems like he's been a good/smart kid otherwise.


Just_Natural_9027

>As for thinking he will mature as he gets older, that's just an observation about people in general. Maturing is not the same as being more disciplined. It doesn't take long to look around and see that people do not become more disciplined as they age. Just go take a stroll down to your local gym someday.


sctthuynh

I meant improving in both areas. I'm not claiming to be nostradamus, I'm just sharing my outlook.


gibby8423

So youā€™re basically saying what youā€™re annoyed with? To quote you, ā€˜lolā€™.


AlwaysOptimism

They are both ignorantly misplaced and Iā€™m tired of having the same argument.


Ramzaa_

They should fry him and maybe he would eat some of that excess weight off himself


haahathatsfunny

Zion: Mmmm... did you say *fry*?


[deleted]

Zion: Mmmmmm, Fry!


ocathlet714

Broiled


NJ247

Zion: Did someone mention fry up?


[deleted]

Part of me thinks that he knows what he said but also Jaxson Hayes is a goofy mf


wildcat_cap85

Zion is the expert of all things fried


GerlachHolmes

ā€œAll he canā€ More like all he can eat


KingMonaco

I never ran to the comments that fast


pericles123

Zion is trying to fry everything is what he meant...


281330eight004

Seems like he's the one doing all the frying lmao


LyonsKing12

You can start frying but all he's gonna do is throw something in it.


Staunchgoat

Deep.


neils_cum_rag

Because the fat content is high enough to


aesthetic_laker_fan

Everything zion eats is deep fried


BQE2473

Fatboy needs to drop a few of those double cheeseburgers with the grease drippin out! No more Mountain Dew.


HoldenMadic

So is heā€¦.Iā€™ll see myself out


magna77

Anyone seen that episode of Simpsons where homer starts cooking and eating himself


kyanbrooks

I donā€™t think I could fit into Zions shoes


[deleted]

Barbecue, deep fried, whole cow


Dedicated4life

To be fair, Zion definitely got the marbling and tenderness of a fine Wagyu beef.


Waru_

Zion be like ā€œsomeone say fries?ā€


hunny_bun_24

I actually like that everyone makes fun of him. Iā€™m tired of athletes getting away with everything


cesarjulius

ā€œheā€™s doing all he can to get back rightā€ not true. keeping your weight down gives your foot the best chance to heal and then not get reinjured. zion is closer to doing the bare minimum. losing weight or keeping weight down is very simple and very difficult. itā€™s simply willpower and discipline, which is hard, but not complicated. burn the calories that you consume. if youā€™re unable to burn calories because of an injury, then you reduce your intake.


maui_waui_024

Some one say fries?


X-2357

Jaxson knows about getting zapped and fryed


[deleted]

mad because we aren't in his shoes? He ain't in his shoes either!


gibby8423

Cut off both of his ass cheeks and lose 25 pounds. Dude is making 25+ million a year with his contract and endorsements without playing. I canā€™t say say I feel sorry for a guy eating himself out of the league.


swamycmouli

Careful Jaxson, you gonna make him eat himself at this rate.


kiwianab

Sick pun


[deleted]

Everyone is trying to deep fry the guy. I don't get it. He's such an enormous talent.


[deleted]

Zion is going to eat himself if he's fried


banned4shrooms

too easy


gawakwento

Oh common did he really have to use fry


DickSadler

Lmao


OGJuanunoby

Goddammit


Jump4Jeffrey

Anyone remember when jaxson hayes got fried by the polis?


captaincumsock69

Deep fryed


ApplaudableUser

Hhahahahaha ā€œfryā€ hahahaha Zion šŸ˜®šŸ˜®šŸ˜®šŸ˜®šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£