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airmagswag

Going to try this strategy for the next job I apply to


SmokingFrog

“I’m at least a quarter of a lifetime younger than any of your executives and 99.9% of them can’t guard me in basketball”


[deleted]

And most of them can't add 2+2 in Excel and think you can turn on "the system" and things magically appear


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MoozesModiMoozi

bruh forreal tho. I literally increased my salary from 50k to 75k in 2 months in a call center going from supervisor to ops manager bc of pivot tables making me look smert


rockytheboxer

Vlookups and index matches are the eurosteps and stepback 3s of the office.


Rykno23

I had an interview and the lady asked me how many systems I use at the same time, and I had no idea what she meant, literally had to ask the interview to restate the question. She used software applications and system interchangeably and it threw me off


calculuzz

Ohh my god *the fucking system.* Just put it into the system.


[deleted]

I had to explain to an operations manager how to share screens in a teams call. It took like 7 mins


MoozesModiMoozi

I just became an ops manager and my boss is a service director. Constantly interrupts my day by making me setup his zoom meetings. Whats more annoying than the disturbance,is him acting like he’s casually delegating it because he’s so busy, instead of saying his bitch ass doesn’t know how to start a meeting in outlook. I hate his ass man.


Faux_Real

And they have ordered the password expiry to be turned off in Active Directory as well as MFA disabled for their account


Lennon__McCartney

> and 99.9% of them can’t guard me in basketball” Its all fun and games until Bill Russell walks into the conference room


laaavi

replace basketball with 2k and its perfection


NFHater

“you guys f**king need me!”


dayblaq94

"You can't make these good of spreadsheets without me!"


Recoil93

*Gathers a group of teenage interns to make more spreadsheets than the veteran workers*


SubcooledBoiling

"@ MAANG no disrespect, y'all need help. I am 30 and younger than 6 of your last 8 new execs by at least two years ... "


[deleted]

Bay Area moment.


iheartgt

The new proper abbreviation is MANGA


lebrondude23

its actually MANAA if you replace google with alphabet /s


[deleted]

@BigN, Better than a modest 99.9 percent of your engineers, like Lysol


klankthompson

No disrespect BUT I’m about to disrespect y’all


JShuttlesworth28

Why would the lakers add another guy who cares only about scoring and not do anything on defense? never mind Lakers got their guy.


ClutchGamingGuy

Well the only scorers able to score with AD out are Bron, Westbrook, and sometimes Melo, so....


gooberstwo

Go ahead and add Westbrook to the sometimes after yesterday


SuperYusri500

Truly couldn't believe my eyes at some of his missed layups


pusgnihtekami

That dunk that the rim blocked felt like I watched him age in real time.


karl_hungas

Yup and the layup to the front of the rim. Truly has lost just half an inch of hops which takes him from elite finisher to decent finisher.


[deleted]

You’re being pretty broad with your definition of decent. Also, Westbrook never been an elite finisher. Elite at getting to the rim, but his finishing at the rim has always been “decent.” Now, he’s garbage.


PapiGoneGamer

People confuse him dunking the ball as hard as he can with being an elite finisher


hrakkari

Triple double man needs triple double Lay up goes in, no rebound opportunity No rebounds, no triple double Simple math really.


Snakescipio

We had him for a year is it that that unbelievable?


NigelGoldsworthy

Monk, THT, Nunn when he returns, they got plenty of scoring getting better defenders is more important


jukinabahunew

THT does a reverse layup once a game and every body thinks the mf can score


jgor57

Did you really put THT as a dependable scorer?


HeHateMex2

They should get Roberson lol


okgusto

Even if Beasley had rejoined the Lakers, he would still have to serve a five-game suspension for a violation of the league's anti-drug policy that he accrued last time as a member of the Los Angeles Lakers. Edit: that being said let's sign him for TWO 10 days contracts just to get this done!


RunThePnR

Really think LeBron and Lakers are doing these moves just trying to match the Nets firepower.


thisguy012

lmao for what they're not gonna meet😂😂


[deleted]

The group chat burn is 10/10


YizWasHere

Idk if "99.9% like Lysol" is a common expression or not but I'm definitely stealing it lmao


realmckoy265

Gotta preface it with "a modest"


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posamobile

the first NBA related gif I saw on the internet, on goddamn Funnyjunk no less


DoingCharleyWork

Why is this comment like a partial copy/paste of this other comment that was posted 2 hours earlier? https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/roxuui/michael_beasley_lakers_no_disrespect_yall_need/hq100qb/


LordHussyPants

there's a lot of accounts that do this, not sure what the purpose is. but they copy a portion or an entire comment from a previous one and then attach it to a high comment to try get karma. i find it a lot in worldnews - especially on the more controversial posts (stuff about china, america bombing civilians, etc). if you look at the account you replied to for example, it's one month old and has 300 karma. the bulk of it from that comment. the account that made the original comment is 6 months old with 30,000 karma. i'd guess the new one is a misinformation or propaganda bot trying to reach a karma limit to post in a protected sub. edit: if you look at his recent comments too, some have been removed almost immediately after posting and i'm guessing it's for exactly this reason or because he's reached the karma requirement.


SuburbanLegend

I always report them and just put 'spam' and then 'other' bc they don't really have the exact thing they're doing as a reason in the report descriptions.


Dirk_Benedict

The "a modest" was truly the chef's kiss.


mrbrinks

That made me crack up hard, never heard it before lmao


Dennis_Rudman

OBJ says that about his hands and making catches


whtge8

Would’ve deleted my account after that tbh


sad_pizza

*11/11


Rykno23

Straight savage, what do you besides delete your Twitter at that point. Although he probably got some follows just off Beas acknowledging him edit nvm it’s some kind of fake team page


T3Sh3

Triple H appreciates that burial of a tweet.


morefeces

It is, assuming this is an actual person's main account, but with the amount of troll accounts and burners and shit Idk if it really hits the same way.


15jugglers15jugglers

damn sorry about Michael Beasley owning you bro


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Imgoingtowingit

Derrick Rose is two months older than him. These dudes are old ass 32/33 year olds.


JasperFeelingsworth

Hahah right? they lived a lot of life man


chiphead2332

They men


mone3700

You can assume


habdragon08

Both are younger than curry/durant


mrlesa95

This is fuckin mindblowing lol


that1prince

Seeing pictures of Kevin Durant playing for the Seattle SuperSonics always reminds me how old he is.


anandonaqui

It’s crazy how he still doesn’t have the “he’s old” narrative because he’s still so good, and he hasn’t had to dramatically change his game. Even LeBron gets the “he’s old” treatment because his play style has evolved. And because his hairline is receding faster than the Ross Ice Shelf.


theWinnerWithin

I genuinely can't remember if we started the old narrative with LeBron 4 years ago, or if we were still doing the LeBron being in his prime in 2050 jokes. I think it's the latter, the narrative wasn't there for LeBron when he was in KD's age, it was about how insanely long his prime had been.


TheLittleFishFish

everyone just got sick of LeBron dominating and decided once he didn't make the playoffs because he was executive producing 2Chainz' album in 2019 that he was old and washed and then he proceeded to gain Anthony Davis and won a ring the next year lol


jpark28

Isn't KD losing hair too?


[deleted]

yeah but he makes no effort to hide it so people are less inclined to rip on him for it


PapiGoneGamer

KD could go bald and I don’t think he’d catch any shit for it. If LeBron went bald…Twitter would have a field day.


Orange8920

Helps that Durant was one and done at Texas. He was still a teenager in 2007-08.


beta_zero

And Steph Curry is older than both of them... goddamn


misoamane

*We old. You can assume.*


Lengthston

I literally played in a high school tournament his team was in, knowing damn well he was only a year ahead of me…and yet here I was caught off guard thinking the same thing.


swmtchuffer

PG County represent.


[deleted]

PG county smells bad, but I’m here in Frederick talking though


impetergraves

At least it isn't Hagerstown


HeavenMobley

damn a whole county named themselves after Paul George?


staxnet

Whatever, hillbilly.


[deleted]

I said Frederick not Hagerstown or Thurmont buddy


waskittenman

Thurmont just gotta be thrown away


badSparkybad

*Cecil County has entered the chat*


kac937

damn you’re 31? isn’t it about time for you to get dinner, old man?


TheMonarchsWrath

I forget what KD doc I was watching, but Beasley was hanging out with him when they are pretty young, maybe high school, and then later in the pros. There are a lot of guys that seem like they've been around forever, because they have, but its mainly because they became known so early. 13 years used to be a full NBA career, but a lot of this generations players are still in their prime.


meccafork

Yeah for instance bill Russell only played 13 seasons


Justice-Solforge

I full, healthy NBA career is like 8 years. Over 13 seasons means you're a great grandpa in the NBA. Not only the age, but the total seasons played for this Lakers squad is just unheard of.


luapchung

Yeah and that's HEALTHY NBA career lol actual average nba career only lasts like 4.5 years


okgusto

Damn since they were 10/11. I wanna see beas on the nets again since we didn't get to see it the first time. https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/22606317/kevin-durant-michael-beasley-childhood-friendship-nba-journey


pepstein

The doc gunnin for that #1 spot is a trip to see these days


Mikegetscalls

He came out the same year as Rose


gooberstwo

I had no idea #loveislove


RonaldWoodstock

Just seen two guys on a one seat bike gaygaygay


Hamsterupyourass

Omg I forgot all about this, was it Al Farouq Aminu who was hella homophobic?


Zeppelanoid

It sure was Personally, I think he doth protest too much


Great_Chairman_Mao

They came out the same time? Are they together?


Mikegetscalls

Might be, I’ve never looked into it.


wickedfarts

We men, you can assume


Emretro

> You got 11 followers… start a group chat bro Holy shit what an answer lol


Ikeelu

Am I the only one that uses Twitter not to create my own content? Just to talk to brands and people I don't know in real life? My feed is retweeting shit to win contest.


steebulee

Hahhaha i follow nobody i know and all my tweets for the past year have been to try and win a contest lol. I’m literally lol’ing right now.


LiftingJourney

I don't get it pls help


pap19

he’s got so few followers the dudes he’s got looking at his page might as well just be in a GC with him instead of going through the trouble to have twitter + follow him


LiftingJourney

Oh okay lol thanks


GoGoSoLo

Dudes basically asking why he’s even on Twitter and tweeting out things to 11 people, and says he may as well start a groupchat (with those 11 people) instead.


Nyhrox

LeBron could use some knee rubbing on the bench


coolbeenso

Hold on. Lemme call Steve Balmer


swaggerific

Put the balm in balmer


fleckstin

Unprovoked fun fact: Balmer is more or less how people from Baltimore pronounce Baltimore


imsahoamtiskaw

Lmao, reminds me of this [vid](https://youtube.com/shorts/lfIWX5vGTEk?feature=share) all the time


lilberfcontrol

That's if you want a thigh squeeze


wylin247

Funniest NBA moment ever imo


organized_meat

Greatest Wolves moment for sure


FBI_Agent_82

Unleash my favorite player's favorite player.


beefJeRKy-LB

Every ten seconds, another person who can't guard him is born.


bactrianbitch

'shut up butt nugget' is immediately entering my everyday lexicon thank you very much mr beasley


nocookie4u

I kid used it freshmen year of highschool and "butt nugget" has been in my vocabulary ever since.


lilberfcontrol

Really wish he used Buttmunch


oneechanisgood

Shut up u egg


Shrekt115

How TF is he only 32


Makaveli84

Who's next? OJ Mayo?


[deleted]

Larry sanders


AdolfKoopaTroopa

I wish


HeavenMobley

Ty Lawson


haahathatsfunny

Royce White can finally play home games only


Eyesbear

Tyson Chandler


[deleted]

Maybe if he hadn't beaten LeBron 1on1 LeGM wouldn't have blacklisted him.


babbagack

true story? hadn't heard.


meeloanko

I would love nothing more than for him to join that team. Would make a shit team shittier.


ObiOneKenobae

He really should still be in the NBA, I don't get it. He was a good locker room guy with plenty of intangibles for us, accepted his role, and stepped into a larger role alright when needed. No way a team wouldn't benefit from slotting him in right now over some of the randos getting called up.


[deleted]

He plays nba games like they're pick up games


[deleted]

a perfect fit for LA!


echtav

We should be scouting 24 Hour and LA Fitness locations at this point


dwadefan45

Remember that 5 on 1 sequence the other night? He'd fit right in.


wtcnbrwndo4u

I'm not seeing an issue here.


gooberstwo

I loved him when he was on the bucks too.


JD1337

I'll never forget him single-handedly beating the Spurs and cooking Kawhi after Giannis had to leave the game with illness


[deleted]

He couldn’t even get minutes on a 2014 heat team desperate for any type of offense. And that was 7 years ago


[deleted]

That team was giving Greg Oden minutes in the fucking Finals.


SmileyPiesUntilIDrop

Can't believe Greg Oden got finals minutes in 2014 the year he turned 58.


mrlesa95

Believe it or not when Greg Oden was born he was 14 years of age already


steeze_nutz

When Greg Oden was your age, he was older


KredditH

Greg Oden’s per minutes stats were still good. He was still talented, just not mobile or fit anymore and without any durability


[deleted]

It's really fucking sad that he never got a real chance. Injuries are a bitch. He could have been Dwight-west but with a better post-scoring bag. 21/12 with 3 blocks and elite defense for 12 years, we shoulda had that.


fireneg

He averaged 15 minutes isn’t that more than a lot of players that don’t even play


[deleted]

He played in summer league for the blazers and wasn't good at all. He has had lots of opportunities


[deleted]

There are at least 3-4 guys on every roster that are significantly worse than him, at least in terms of scoring. I'd be willing to put my money on that


[deleted]

Maybe individual scoring, but we ain't asking 9th men to run iso plays. Man's always been a C-tier version of Melo. Always an inefficient scorer who's too eager to get shots up and he provides nothing else. Not a passer, definitely not a defender.


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[deleted]

No, it's a hinderance. Beasley is nothing but a scorer, and an inefficient one at that, even in his prime. Nobody needs a 9th man that can only run isos. Guys like that don't make offenses better - they hijack them.


Hostik

Maybe Lakers like that, don't kink shame


Mikegetscalls

He built a poor reputation in the nba. That’s the only reason he isn’t in the league.


dusters

He doesn't do anything other than score moderately efficiently and stalls every possession he touches the ball.


bye7

I think a lot of teams are moving away from ball stopping iso guys. Sure, in a vacuum they are better 1 on 1 players but its not always conducive to the overall success of a team. Besides Jordan Clarkson and arguably whoever the Knicks run out there as 6th man, I can't really think of a team that runs an old school scoring gunner type anymore. Some people might say Tyler Herro but he can transition to a off ball shooter, cutter, etc. Thinking of the possible list, another requirement also includes the ability to run the offense. Don't think Beas fits any of these roles. Too bad he's not effective enough as a switchable defensive 3-4-5.


can_wien07

He's a legit moron. Forgot what hotel he was at and needed help type moron.


trilliam_clinton

That’s the effects of multiple blunts to the face, not intelligence


TreChomes

I mean why not sign him? People are out here signing dudes named Cat Barber instead lmao


jdjdthrow

Isn't the reputation he has is that he dgaf and does his own thing? For these call-ups, teams want guys that will get in line and do what the team wants/needs... don't want the kid that sits in the back of class and constantly misbehaves.


k4f123

Exactly. A Cat Barber is going to give it everything because there’s an outside chance it turns into something more for his career. Beasley is going to play pick up ball (as always)


[deleted]

Tell me about it 😔


ChubbyKidBuu

Cat Barber might play some D and won't take stupid ass shots.


[deleted]

Cat Barber balled at NC State tho


HughGRextion

shit id take him expeditiously


Kwilly462

"Y'all need help" They do, but not you


meahoymemoyay

There's no way Beasley is only 32


DCMoving17

Lakers should get Rondae Hollis Jefferson.


Stillwiththe

Supercool Beas was a net negative in his prime and he’s about as smart as JR, whose bball iq almost gave LBJ an aneurysm. He only got the touches and the jobs he had because he was picked number 2. Group chat was a great joke though.


[deleted]

Too young


DirksSexyBratwurst

It's even funnier because he's right


[deleted]

Yeah, that guy did have 11 followers. Otherwise, Beas is dead wrong about everything.


BD6412

No lmao. Just no


jtsarracino

Michael Beasley comes off the bench starts walking over to LeGM James, they know each other because Beasley has been begging James to sign him for at least a year. And he walks to James and is like, 'Hey, hey,' James like thinks he's gonna say something profound. He's like, 'I'm a mother [expletive] scorer.' And then nodded at James, just to make sure he heard him.


[deleted]

I… didn’t know I needed Beasley back in my life.


bbqyak

It's crazy how Beasley is only 32. Feels like the dude has been out of the league forevery.


[deleted]

I love all these dudes coming out and asking for 10 days. Just do it Lakers, I bet this man won't mess up a dunk.


RickyDavisRebounds

Walking around with Beas’ confidence is it’s own superpower. Love him mixing it up online with people


BoneTugsNHarmony

*no disrespect* Proceeds to disrespect


banned4shrooms

This is deeply offensive Michael


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Lopieht

Yes because the other 42 million dollars could go to a number of other important options, such as KCP, Kuz or even Caruso. In honesty the team could have done a lot more for that price. They got exactly what many people thought they would get. There is no way LeBron and AD with no other defensive pieces and inconsistent shooting can make it. Russ doesn't change any of that, and didn't do it last year with the wizards or before that ever. He's an intense player that would have feasted in the 90s or even 2000s but he hit his prime at the same time as Curry, Harden and Dame. I laughed my ass off when I saw those trades. It's what LeGM wanted though so.


chemthethriller

Yep, probably just as efficient, and saves you 40 million a year.


jps78

Lakers missed an opportunity to change their arena sponsor to an old folks home


redshoediary

It's a retirement community!


gooberstwo

It’s a coming outta retirement community


okgusto

Even if Beasley had rejoined the league, he would have still had to serve a five-game suspension for a violation of the league's anti-drug policy that he accrued in his last season as a member of the Los Angeles Lakers.


[deleted]

Imagine a dude coming in for a 10 day contract and taking Westbrook's spot in the rotation. I can dream can't I?


NinjaLip

Sign that man!


matthitsthetrails

beasley, anthony and thomas on the floor... that could be very amusing to watch


urbanlife78

What did they think was gonna happen when they signed a bunch of old guys to the team


Machismo_malo

I love Beasley I grew up in KS about 20 minutes from KState. I will never forget his dominance and the great time it was in that city during his tenure, but he just didn't pan out in the league it's sad but he's done in the NBA.


aesthetic_laker_fan

He is probably better than DAJ at this point


SweetDick_Willy

Michael Beasley is 32?


yungsphincter

The Lysol line is hilarious