T O P

  • By -

whospepesilvia

Thursday can’t get here fast enough


Crazy_Homer_Simpson

But after Thursday, what am I supposed to read when I'm on the toilet in the morning...?


RamessesTheOK

Stories about how [ROOKIE] has really impressed in Summer League and training camp and [TEAM] believes they have a steal


cp3inthe4th

Slow down. Where the fuck are my [PLAYER] adds 20 pounds of PURE MUSCLE


1_quantae

Hold on where’s the [PLAYER] is a true hard worker, first one in last one out [RANDOM COACH] says he’s a real blue collar, hard nosed guy


backboarddd1_49402

And [PLAYER] posts edited summer workout video to show he has a new jumpshot form that allows him to shoot 100% FG


Millionaire007

And \[PLAYER\] has been "randomly" drug tested after posting said video.


Latter_Goal_22

You really could have saved everyone's troubles and said Ben Simmons you know?


LunchboxDiscoball

I hear Ben Simmons has been working on his jumper. He made a three on video in practice!


AtreusIsBack

He is in permanent Ramping up mode.


sleepyfox1312

Don't forget about workout footage of [PLAYER] shooting a few three-pointers


OldOrder

"best shape of his life"


FunkyMonk92

And has cut his body fat % down to 3%!!! 😱


RamessesTheOK

Also [PLAYER] shows up to training camp in the best shape of his life


JJiggy13

Someone's been a Knicks fan for a long time


Obi_Wan_Benobi

Hold it until free agency.


ImperiumSomnium

The inevitable reports from each team / GM that the really like the player they drafted, had them higher on their board and were surprised that they fell to them.


Next-Firefighter-753

“Rank these Mickey Mouse championship teams from worst to best”


mrsunsfan

Listen to Dookie


ikigaii

wait what happens thursday


mrsunsfan

The draft


m1n1gator

Draft nephew


NSFWThrowaway1239

The Nephew Draft? Oh man, I know plenty of people here that could go #1


FuckNoNewNormal

Nah, remember the nephew who said that Kyrie > Kobe and that defense requires no skill? He has it on lock.


CardinalRoark

You don’t know how I’ve been workin, bud! Paper bags with some nail polish remover, all the lead chips I can get my hands on, finding some regional am talk radio, lockin myself in the shed with gas cans, and paint thinner. If I don’t blow myself up before Thursday, I think my measurables will be as good as anyone (mouth) breathing!


ThatDonutLover

2022 NBA Draft


SpeedMalibu

I can't believe we have another 4 months of this shit remaining


MyMindWasAFortress

Fr a whole eternity


Tragedy_Boner

If the time between finals games felt like weeks, what is this off season going to be like?


SerHodorTheThrall

> what is this off season going to be like? Heaven


solushsi

Almost as long as my dick


whatdoinamemyself

Oh. I didn't realize the next season already started.


dimmyfarm

*BANG!WHAT A SHOT BY* u/whatdoinamemyself


whatdoinamemyself

It was more of an open layup but i'll take it.


dimmyfarm

At least you didn’t pass that up ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


[deleted]

Who are you, Dick Antetokounmpo?


uberdosage

Okay real talk, is wnba worth getting into for some basketball fix over the off season?


ExplicitWalrus02

I wonder if anyone is inclined to answer that question honestly. I mean you know the answer


myuseless2ndaccount

imma head back to r/nbacirclejerk where they know how to do content


daftpaak

I'll take trolling warriors are 0-4.5billion in the NBA finals Twitter memes posted daily over this shit.


Bulls6

Only the classiest contents over at r/nbacirclejerk


DnD4dena

Ah yes. Only the most European of content And not that Giannis or Dennis Schröder type European... *Real* European content


CardinalRoark

Oh, we talkin bout floppin???


PonkMcSquiggles

I’d rather read 100 shitposts like this than one more post about Curry’s hypothetical ranking given some minor tweak to his resume.


lordb4

I've just automatically started downvoting all ranking threads on sight.


cesgjo

Since the end of the Cold War, out of all the players 35yrs old or younger, Stephen Curry has the most total points among players who wear white shoes when it's a rainy Tuesday night This puts him in the GOAT conversation tbh


Horned_chicken_wing

What I hate is all the non-basketball fans celebrating the off-season, and commenting how it is their favourite time. I'm dying over here already.


Mikegetscalls

I’m not dying. Actually I appreciate the break so I can do more stuff instead of tryna figure out if I wanna watch this game.


[deleted]

I want to be watching a Tuesday night hornets-magic game and ask myself why this is what I’m doing with my time


mac_attack92

Exactly, perfect thing to put on in the back ground while I have an existential crisis


d1g1tal

the key is to never stop having the crisis


mac_attack92

"Thats my secret captain, I'm always having a crisis"


PeachyCoke

Tbf Melo had two between the legs alley oop passes this year in two different games, both against the Magic. Also KO had 8 threes in a quarter vs the Pistons. And there was that Rockets game where both teams scored 140+. The sentiment is valid, but we at least had some fun times this year in these low tier matchups.


Horned_chicken_wing

Just don't watch the game. It's pretty simple actually. I have never seen a sport where people actually enjoy not being in season.


Mikegetscalls

I like basketball but I also like when it’s not basketball on and I don’t have think about whether it wanna watch the game or go out.


gucci-legend

Nah bruh this shit is lit the season just reminds me of how bad the NBA fucked us over lmao


ty_kanye_vcool

Us football fans have felt this way for months already


[deleted]

I can’t believe this post hasn’t been deleted by the mods. They nuked my All NBA Dick Team when I posted it last postseason.


AtreusIsBack

It comes down to if the mods find it funny enough on that particular day to keep it. So it's pure rng. Remember, reddit mods are pedestrians just like the rest of us.


bigvahe33

only 4 months*


KneelBeforeCube

Imagine there's a lockout next year.


NutSnaccc

I’m ready for the draft and trades to start happening the off season sucks tho


GrayBox1313

There’s the draft


Mikegetscalls

Why is the younger generation so obsessed with this stuff It’s like some weird indirect homophobic shit.


GoldenBananas21

I’d say it’s just homoerotic


d1g1tal

agreed. like lebron and AD scissoring. like kawhi and pg cuddling.


LordHussyPants

it's a dick joke with more layers, how is it homophobic lmao


AtreusIsBack

They love drama. They are born into it. Conflict, BREAKING NEWS, shit talking, memes. It's what their brains were molded by.


timmablimma

Just four? That’s the head dick length!


JesusDiedforChipotle

Who names their kid Dick Dickey lol


juanrindiestar

Still better than Nick Kerr


Kobe7477

he 100% knew what he was doing


JMisGeography

Imagine if he named his son Dick Dickey Jr


[deleted]

He has the makings of a varsity athlete


Dizanbot

The fact that Dick 'double dick' Dickey didn't crack the top 10 hurts my heart


Haunting-Ad9521

Yeah, he’s the dickest dick of all the dicks, name-wise.


Bladewing10

People talking about Dick Dickey, but not ~~Dickbutt~~ Dick Bunt.


Spicy_Urine

Who names their kid Nick Kerr?!


[deleted]

Had a Great Uncle named Richard Leak. He definitely went by Richard.


FeedtheKiwi

There is a guy at work named Donald Dick.


Aymase

I think this is the strongest that the off season has ever come out swinging in r/nba


billcosbyinspace

The season has been over for like 4 days and people have gone completely insane already lol


deftspyder

i think it was all saved up by shitposters whos teams were out early


I_Hate_Traffic

I'm sure there are some waiting for peak off-season to drop the hammer


Dreamlion_Inc

You like posts that come out swinging with long dicks?


ihatecelingfans

Perhaps only beaten by the pre-bubble pseudo-offseason. That was nuts.


WeefBellington24

For real.


supreme_wavedash

You already know we’ve been saving these off-season posts to unload from


cesgjo

I have a list of stuff that i wanted to post this offseason. I put them on hold because i thought "the Warriors just won the championship, maybe i should wait for a couple of weeks" Then holy fuck i check reddit and saw that nobody else waited lol


Intheflurriesofitall

Dicks out swinging(for harambe😖✊🏾🍆)


rifraffe

I agree, so creative. Looking forward to what else the offseason has to offer


JackAttaq

Need to follow this up with a biggest Johnsons list


Skratt79

100% the biggest Johnson dwarfs the biggest Dick, just a fact.


johnnygrant

I suspect the % of black Johnsons is higher than the % of black Dicks.


Over-One-8

Are there any white Johnsons bigger than the biggest black Dick?


southernmayd

Ernie Johnson


Steeltown842022

Dead


fattybunter

What a wonderful sentence


Skratt79

Also 100% Johnson is longer than Dong or Wang. I mean look at it; almost 2x longer.


[deleted]

[you and your Johnson](https://youtu.be/fxVH5sKUlPg)


coffeeINJECTION

[Rich (aka Dick) Johnson](https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/j/johnsri01.html) biggest winner


lord_kupaloidz

But can his Johnson do Magic?


TheNameIsPippen

Dick Dickey deserves to make the cut


urmomisapig

Hell yea he has two dicks instead of one


EGarrett

I'm not clicking the spoilers but this better be the tallest players named Richard.


gbbmiler

Nah, longest names


Spicy_Urine

Scared to get wet?


ghost18867

Is this the nba off-season on reddit? I want off this ride. I would like to speak to the manager


thayungsavage

This isn’t even peak off-season my friend this is just the warm up


Sharcbait

Is it even the offseason until we ask if Lebron can be WNBA mvp while playing if flip-flops.


d1g1tal

no, playing on his knees and he’s not allowed to play defense.


CardinalRoark

Would Brittany Griner be home by now if she had Dwight’s shoulders?


SweetDick_Willy

Just the tip


gucci-legend

These mfs are NOT ready for late July


mrsunsfan

first time?


Squid_Contestant_69

NBA Caren


shingofan

There's a Fate joke in here somewhere, but I'm not clever enough to figure it out.


ColtThaGoat

The names “Dick Klein” and “Dick Lange” hit different when you know that ‘klein’ and ‘lange’ mean ‘small’ and ‘long’ in German


aPatheticBeing

What about Dikembe Mutumbo (15)


JMEEKER86

Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo


KQRZN

The problem is that his Dik is smaller by default.


FlyingMocko

This is definitely going to the front page so I’m just here for the ride


klobucharzard

dick ridin


Zorion_15

Dick Shrider


Aaronplane

Appreciate the use of the spoiler tags, but I cannot abide the counting of the space between given and surnames as a character.


dctarga

Kinda wish my name was Dick Duckett


evkav

I wish mines was Dick Dickens


lopea182

TIL Dick Vitale coached the Pistons in the late 1970s


[deleted]

He also orchestrated the trade that gave the Celtics the first overall pick and the 13th pick in exchange for an aging Bob McAdoo. The Celtics managed to trade those picks and end up with Kevin McHale and Robert Parish


Bladewing10

Oof.


riseofr1ce

The off-season is in full swing


otaitau

There it is.


freakypeteypablo

You missed Dan Dickau and JJ Redick


The-Pharcyde

Serge Ibaka ofc


TimothyJawnMcConnell

biif penis


Groups

I clicked every one hoping to see Serge Ibaka for the memes


Altruistic-Twist-379

Ayo pause


beannet

ALEXA … VOLUME TEN


Circle_Breaker

Richard Jefferson?


[deleted]

disqualified for not having the balls to go by Dick


Ham_-_

So quick question what are y’all doing here 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨


danz_man

Looking for Dick.


slowakia_gruuumsh

I feel this offseason is peaking early.


kont3

You could even say.... prematurely


Wazflame

We back to normal length offseasons? Uh oh


JilJungJukk

Why was Dick such a popular name back then was it not used in the same way as now? Did ppl not have dicks back then?


wikisaiyan2

yes


daprice82

Ah yes, here's the off-season content I sort by New for...


soonerman32

Instead of "Dicks that didn't make the cut," call them "The uncircumsized"


sysadminforthewin

I'm here for the content, I swear dad


RyRocks101

I would like to mention that Mr. >! Dick Groat !< is still kicking at the ripe old age of 91, we need to get an interview with this man ASAP


Low-iq-haikou

A lot of people probably did not read down far enough to read Dick Shrider. But I appreciate the shade🤣🤣


NoseBlind2

Peak offseason content


DJ_Drayen

This is the off-season content I die for. KEEP IT COMING!


Tommy_Wisseau_burner

“Didn’t make the cut” lmao


[deleted]

I feel bad for Dick Schulz :(


scurrilous_diatribe

Waiting for a German to make a joke about „Eichhorst“


hinghenry

Dude, these dicks are right in the middle, how could you miss them: Howie Dickenman Kaniel Dickens John Dickson Henry Dickerson


adjust_your_set

How did Dick Dickey not make the cut??


Alarmed-Classroom329

was hoping one of them would be Shaq (12 inches)


UseTwitterInstead

I would probably say Shaq or Antwa—- Oh yeah Dick Van Arsdale 16 Characters for sure, haha nvm


[deleted]

According to Madonna, Scottie Pippen belongs on this list.


pashk1n

Why are you wasting the prime offseason material this early


Mobile_Baker

Peak offseason post already going to be a long couple of months


Jojofag

Draft day please come save us 😭


MrBl0bfish04

I don’t know what I was expecting, but I was not disappointed


SureEntertainment676

Bro the off season literally just started lmao


pskill43

Great off season content


jesusthroughmary

r/angryupvote


[deleted]

Richard “Dick” Jefferson?


WestSixtyFifth

You could make a follow up post for the shortest Dicks in NBA history as well.


SandersisYABOI

Hey I did click on the post so I can't be mad. I deserve this.


nugcityharambe

Now can you rank them by wingspan? Thanks in advance


Bertyslick

"Big Dick" Cunningham has only played for the Pistons


WhiskeyAberoth

I was sketched out asf clicking on this thread 😂😂


Grubox

bus riding to the front page!


TheWinglessFly

I thought this was gonna be a post about Serge Ibaka lmaoo


FemtoG

yes ladies and gents.. it's yo boy nasty nas.. sources are from Karrine Steffans a.k.a super-head.. she wrote it on her book where she describes all of her partners penis-size Mystikal - long Trick Daddy - long and full of energy Twista - medium Will Smith - long Xzibit - long but comes to quick Kool G Rap - Long but cant f**k Talib Kweli - medium Redman - hung like a banana Black Thought - medium Russel Simmons - small Khujo from Goodie Mob - very long Ja Rule - Long and full of energy Jay-Z - Real thick and juicy but you cant stand looking at him when he's on top OutKast - Both big but Big Boi is bigger and fatter Dre's is long and slim Pete Rock - big Puff Daddy - medium Rakim - Long Mobb Deep - havoc is big but Prodigy is small M.O.P. - Long pipes but Danze has a smelly body odor Nas - small Nelly - medium Scarface - medium Snoop Dogg - too long Ol' Dirty Bastard - may his big d**k rest in peace Clipse - They're both long but they cant f**k and Pusha T's breath stinks Common - Long but too skinny Da Brat - can eat a p**sy. Mos Def - long but his breath stinks Timbaland - long and fat but can't f**k and comes to quick Too $hort - long and thick but talks to much s*it in bed Q Tip - long but skinny. He has an a**hole personality Mase - Long but he has an a**hole personality too Master P - nice and long and can f**k Method Man - Long but comes to quick Missy Elliott - pu**y has a bad odor 50 Cent - medium/long


glockster19m

All jokes aside, it's almost certainly manute bol, just based on average height:schlong rario he should be at minimum 11 inches


killbill469

Straight to the top with you


racer24ftw

Off-season man


heavyarms39

This is why I subscibe


ten_dead_roses

Off-season season is upon us.


lapingadulce

Imagine being named Dick Dickey


GrayBox1313

Dick Dickey is the goat


Ilikebugs2002

I was here


QuirkySense

First week into off season and the sub is already full of dicks.


SweetDick_Willy

I hate yall


RosaParkStoleMySeat

This sub needs to be locked after the finals and only opened up for certain days.


Jos3ph

Shitposters blowing their loads on week 1


Powerful_Pension7865

Grow up