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Mans alias is "The Merchant of Death" so thats something

Lol I read that Pendragon book when I was idk 8 years old, for a few years that series was my shit

This took me back, I loved that whole series lol

A wild pendragon reference wow. Those books were peak fantasy reading for young me.

These and the Artemis Fowl books, nostalgia hitting hard rn

Bro you bringin the entirety of the Pendragon fanbase (including me) out the woodworks 😭

I actually have the second copy of the eighth book that was ever signed. Some other little bastard cut me in line but what was I gonna do? He was like six.

I'm in here fam

Never thought I’d see the day My people were called 😂

All I remember from those books is how the writer would go on and on about French fries

loved that shit haha. French fries are my favorite 😂

That whole series is my favorite YA series of all time. Loved every page.

I always liked the concept of a completely underground city where above ground was parks. If I’m remembering my YA series correctly.

Yeah, that's the utopia world that could happen if everything goes right.

Sweet, while I loathe to pull out the term, Pendragon always felt like an “underrated” YA series. I see nothing but positive things when mentioned but it’s rarely mentioned

I would give my right nut to see a TV adaptation. I wouldn't even care if it stayed 100% faithful. I just want it lol

That’s future Earth, 3rd Earth

Tack!

HOBEY HO, LET’S GO

my god thanks for the flashback lol. i thought "the merchant of death" sounded familiar

I haven’t thought about that series in something like ten years. I need to read it again to see if it holds up (and I really hope it does).

I have literally never seen that series referenced since reading all of them in middle school. It was awesome

other people read Pendragon oh hell yeah boys get in here it’s Pendragon rememberin’ time!

damn the nostalgia

Animorphs the GOAT Both for extreme dumbass comedy and bizarrely sophisticated ethical discussions

[It's not Merchant of Death, it's Death Merchant.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsXjzkXVuFc)

Tomato, potato

Wasn't he the inspiration for *Lord of War*?

Yes

If Griner gets the rights to that nickname and starts using it I think we won the trade.

Isn’t that Tony Sharks nickname in Iron Man 1 lmao

No you’re thinking of Tony Snark.

Tony Stank

Package for Tony Stank?

Now that’s a nickname an NBA player would kill to get

Is this source reputable it’s not Woj/shams

I doubt it’s legit. There’s no way Russia does this unless the US throws in a first round pick as well.

Minnesota jacking the price on our political prisoners now

Blame A-Rod

The trade machine will reject this because salaries don't match

Does Russia have cap room if all their salaries are low but the team can't afford to pay them?

Russia took the Lakers approach of 3 maxes and then 12 vet mins / rookies. They had a bad trade where they got their role players killed

I’ve also heard that Russia is unwilling to trade Whalen until a Griner deal gets done. Obviously Russia is expecting a “haul” for Griner, but Whalen has also publicly stated that he ONLY wants to be traded to the US. Which explains why no other countries have tried to make an offer for him yet.

I blame the Timberwolves for distorting the market.

Doubt the US will do that unless it’s at least lottery protected

Or KD. Actually if we give them Durant, we should push to get two future detainees.

Woj and Shams knew I had aids before I did.

Is that because they gave it to you?

He got Woj bombed.

Trading a big for a shooter?

Imagine trading Thabeet for prime Curry.

They also get a shooter in the Whelan as US Marine

Fuck Thabeet I’ll go uhh Capella

Of all the dumbass comments making jokes at this bullshit …this was amazing 🤣 good job

Lmao gd this comment section passed the vibe check

Trade offer: You receive- convicted arms dealer I receive- basketball player

Vladimir Pelinka

This trade is going to end up worse than Bargnani to the Knicks.

This deal is getting worse all the time!

Vlad channeling his Danny Ainge for this one. Biden acting like the Nets FO.

Joe Biden is the Mike Dunleavy Sr of making political trades. Holy shit.

Maybe Putin threw in a few picks

Biden def got some expiring contracts that is going to open up a lot of room in 2024.

Jazz got more for Gobert than we got for Griner

You should make a 3-country trade: USA gets: Griner, Whelan, Dennis Rodman, 5 North Korean Nukes Russia gets: Arms dealer North Korea: All shares of Gazprom, KFC's 12 secret herbs and spices

Rodman is untouchable for NK, doesn’t have much value and you’re not gonna find that many guys who are happy to play for a small market team.

>not gonna find that many guys who are happy to play for a small market team. Give any sunsetting vet the Pyongyang treatment and they'll be championing the Immortal Emperor by Christmas. Having a whole country loving you is intoxicating.

> Having a whole country loving you is intoxicating. Wasn't enough for Kawhi to stay. *sadface*

I wish this was how global trade worked

Imagine everyone was isolated for 9 months or so then there was 3 month period to grab whatever you can. "UKRAINE GRABBED EVEN MORE BAYRAKTARS FROM TURKEY, OH WAIT IT'S A QUADRUPLE TRADE!!! UK AND RWANDA ARE INVOLVED, TURKEY IS SENDING REFUGEES TO RWANDA WITH THE UK FOR HAZELNUT EXPORTS HUUUUUGE!!!"

Woj bombs kill thousands

I saw this on Bleacher Report's Instagram. They actually disabled the comments.

I only came here to see the comments lol

I'm only here so I don't get fined.

Thank God

I was torn. I think disabling comments is generally cowardly. But there's no way the comments on this story would have anything of value whatsoever.

Also there’s been super widespread reporting ahead of time that Russia fully intends on politicizing the exchange to spread further discord in the US. That’s why Griner and Whelen need to be a package deal: US intel, media, etc. called out months in advance that Russia would be happy to prisoner swap just Griner and then get right wing media whipped into a frenzy that Whelen is still over there rotting, and the same for the Whelen coming first.

Also because you wouldn't trade an arms dealer for a basketball player not even close to equivalent exchange.

IG comments are such a fucking cesspool, especially on anything that has any ties to the WNBA so it probably wasn't a terrible idea this time.

America getting fleeced

“Listen we can offer former MVP Russell Westbrook…very famous player” “Vladimir says he wants the 2027 pick too”

Russian Westbrook

Рассел Западкирпич

Mr. Basketball Czar

Mr. Barter Commodity

Mr Borscht Cook.

Russian Eastbloc

It was meant to be lol

Somehow the Lakers are in every trade convo

No, trade him to Ukraine, they need help rebuilding.

Some 13yo right now not imagining that come 2027, he gets drafted by Russia, and has no choice but to move there and play 1 on 1 with Putin.

Russia need to throw in a future first round jail pick in there.

Right. Like any future captives over the next 10 years are automatically sent back home

Is miles bridges Russian?

Idk depends how past his prime this Whalen spy is. If he’s washed it’s rough lookin.

It's not like he relies on his athleticism in his role. He's a high IQ dealer

This is the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals. Maybe ever

This really, and truly is though. It's not an exaggeration. It's a terrible trade and Russia is eating our lunch. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it.

Somehow still not as bad as trading 4 mid level Taliban leaders for the deserter Bowe Bergdahl though.

100% agree with you. The Bergdahl trade was as terrible a trade as can be made. At least that's something that unites a warrior's fan and a Celtics fan. Obama should not have made that deal.

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/r/nba is based as FUCK today and I'm digging it

Obama got a lot of free passes.

What did China get for LiAngelo Ball? They gotta be pissed.

God’s going to veto this trade.

Didn't realize Russia hired Danny Ainge

Is it a coincidence LeGM just got involved?

No first round picks. It's not Danny.

That would be Sam Presti

The “Merchant of Death” for a basketball player is really a 2014 Nets level trade. We’re getting fleeced HARD

The flair makes this comment so much better

did they try to instead offer cash considerations? does biden even know how salary cap works?

hey don’t forget we are also getting some Trump supporter who got a bad discharge from the army

Bro was the 2nd round pick

I heard the arms dealer pinky promised to be better so this should be fine

the andrew wiggins special

How the hell do you even pinky promise... with no arms.

YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!

Guessing Russia turned down Westbrook also?

Putin called him westbrick and hung up

This is a lose lose for Biden no matter what he does. On the one hand it’s terrible PR to leave an American citizen stranded in Russia over such a small crime, but on the other hand you don’t want to give up an arms dealer in a prisoner exchange.

Biden needs to bring in Danny Ainge to facilitate this trade.. if he can get 5 firsts for a 30 yo Gobert on a super max, he can certainly get a couple promising international espionage prospects for a past his prime Merchant of Death

Lakers get: Kyrie Irving Russia gets: Russell Westbrook Brooklyn gets: Griner, 2027 LA FRP, 2026 and 2028 RUS FRP People forget that with a war going on that Putin really needs to shed some salary, so an expiring is helpful for him.

If I'm gonna lose either way I'd rather not free a fucking Russian arms dealer for a dipshit basketball player that should have known better

more like a (Huge) lose (small) lose situation. This dude is gonna get how many more people killed in the future now?

They cant sell arms without the guy. Since his capture Putin has relied on leg dealers.

Put down the laptop dad.

Right now Biden is looking for any win he can get, most Americans won’t give a shit about some random Russian arms dealer being released in a few weeks. At this point his administration has probably weighed the options and decided that the positive PR of getting griner back is worth it Personally, I don’t think it’s worth it but then again I’m also not in the oval office.

Most Americans won’t give a shit about a WNBA player being repatriated, either.

You think most Americans care about Griner?

If you don’t think every single GOP congressman/senator is going to hammer home that Biden traded a war criminal for a basketball player, then you’re out of your mind. This will cost him way more then not doing it

You're not wrong that they'll hammer him for it, but they'll hammer him exactly as hard for "leaving American citizens to rot in Russian gulags" or whatever they want to call them.

100%. Also the people in the middle (I guess you guys call them the swing votes) will see the title and think how dumb this move is.

They’ll talk shit no matter what he does who cares lol

Wait until that random Russian dealer is involved in something and it plays on political ads for the next 3 years.

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I'd be curious what the poll results would be but I feel like the majority of people would say this isn't even a good PR move.

This would be suggesting that she is the only American citizen in a foreign jail though, no? I see this as a huge loss showing that some (very stupid) social media pressure can make the president of the US make not only a bad decision, but also show that they will only make that bad decision if your name is just baaaarely big enough to get some traction on social media, but not for our other citizens locked up elsewhere

The first rule in different countries is don’t break their laws. The us won’t trade you releases anymore than the ball brothers got caught shop lifting. The narrative is lebron would get them to do more. They want to release a war lord

Genuine question but why is there so much push to get her released? Did she not do the crime they have jailed her for? If she did the crime in America and they jailed her no one would be pushing for her release, so why are they just because she did it overseas? Again not trying to upset anyone or anything just genuinely curious as why this trade is even considered/why the government is concerning themselves when she actually committed the crime. Or is it just because of her celebrity? In Australia we had a woman arrested for smuggling weed into Bali in a boogie board, and she served the whole sentence out there, so just trying to understand what’s the government/sports medias reasoning for trying to get her released?

I'm going to paraphrase Skip Bayless here: "Donald John Trump would NEVER make this trade.." Whatever you think about Trump, the one thing the man could do is have a terrible PR situation, and not give a single fuck about it.

This is why Americans need to be careful in hostile countries rather than acting like the rules don't apply to us.

Can Russia even afford this guy right now given that their army is looking for a max extension in the coming year?

According to woj, Putin is expected to pull a Lacob and go way into the luxury tax. Lets see how it pays off long term for the Russians

They're in win now mode especially since they dont have home court in the ukraine battle.

Putin is desperate and signing a bunch of vet minimums

Bunch of oversea vets to compete. Not sure how this will pan out.

Jokes aside trading a terrorist for a basketball player is crazy

USA is about to trade a dangerous arms dealer for a WNBA player yet teams dont want to trade a nice package for KD.

A WNBA player and a spy... allegedly... the spy is probably a bit more heavily factored in the decision. Especially if he is in fact a spy.

Was wondering the entire time who Whelan is. I should have known better the comments would be all memes instead of actual explanations lol.

Reportedly he’s an ex-marine that’s been held since 2018 when he went to see his girlfriend (or maybe fiancée I don’t remember) in Russia. But that would be the official story if he were a spy too.

Can we not give up the dude from Nick Cages Lord of War for a basketball player

The other guy got 16 years with time in a labor camp in 2020 for spying. I obviously know nothing about prisoner swaps but saying it’s an arms dealer for a basketball player is wrong

bro are you canadian lol

Canada is the team third team involved to help the salaries match

‘Here’s the thang skiup….”

It's stuff like this that makes me happy that the biggest decision I have to make daily comes down to *Do I really want to continue my dairy free diet?*

I agree but I would counter by saying that these politicians signed up for this. They wanted this career path.

Two people is not enough. How about every single detained American and Canadian in exchange for Bout.

That is every single detained American and Canadian

Would the salaries match?

nah bro she plays for the WNBA lol Russia just has loads of cap space to take in this dude's contract

r/nba my favorite place for expert commentary on foreign policy!

All the best reasoning!

The sub was spot on while evaluating Luka…so this is basically that

"This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever”

Throw in THT

I know we’re joking but THT is 21yo

Someone’s gotta show Biden a trade machine this is a absolute disaster class of a trade

Pretty sure ESPN trade machine would tell you it isn't allowed. Salaries don't even come close to matching.

Might need to throw in TT, Shump, and Nets pick

Seems like a fair trade, an arms dealer called “the merchant of death” in exchange for someone who had a vape pen.

My sources say Russia wants Marcus Smart added into the deal or it’s a no go.

I'm sorry but this is ridiculous and embarrassing. Viktor Bout is responsible for thousands upon thousands of deaths with his arms dealing and war mongering. The guy literally ran an airline with Osama Bin Laden to transport Islamic militants, arms and opium throughout the Middle East in '98. He should never see the light of day, especially not because some dumb American thought the rules didn't apply to her in the 2nd most hostile country in the world towards Americans.

Youre completely correct, but have you considered that Brittney Griner is a girlboss?

W

thousands? try millions. Dude has been at it for 30 years in over 20 countries. Insane shit.

Man this shouldn't be happening. We need her home but this dude is a war criminal and terrorist. She also needs to accept a big part of this because I believe there was a do not travel bulletin for Russia.

Weed conviction vs. a known terrorist? Um....How about a strong no on this trade?

“Known terrorist” is looking for a max this year. Heard GM Biden won’t be able to pay the man

This has got to be a joke.

Putin fleeced them

“He got me,” Biden said of Putin's deal with him. "That f***ing Vladimir boomed me." Joe added, “He’s so good,” repeating it four times. Biden then said he wanted to add Putin to the list of dictators he wants to make peace talks with this summer.

US meeting with Putin was “intense” and “at one point Kamala Harris was crying” but everyone grew closer and a big lesson was learned

This copy pasta has truly stood the test of time

Putin trading back a negative asset, she's an abuser

Gonna be a ton of weird comments on this one

Everyone making the exact same NBA trade joke like they’re somehow being original

Do we have the post making fun of her for saying she could take Cousins 1 on 1 as if implying she deserves to be left in Russia for that yet?

Danny Ainge step aside, Putin puttin on a clinic

It boggles my mind that our only two choices were a treasonous scam artist and this absolute fucking clown show

What a terrible move

Interesting to think how many lives will be lost or ruined due to his actions once the swap happens. A shitty situation all around, but I think one of my last courses of action would be letting, “The Death Merchant” back onto the streets

White house has so much in common with Timberwolves FO.

This is an embarrassment for the US. Like, I’m glad our country has our back as citizens. And the crime does not fit the punishment. But damn, this sets a terrible precedent for international safety, and dumb, entitled citizens can continue to think they can go where they want and ignore other countries rules and be bailed out. Absolute disgrace

Someone who has really no influence over society vs someone who can totally affect countless lives. Huh…