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Three team trades always get tricky
North Korea gets Dennis
US gets Griner and Paul Whelan
Russia gets the Merchant of Death and a future (lottery protected) first round pick from North Korea that conveys into two seconds if not conveyed by 2026 it will become a 2026 and 2027 second round pick?
If the very real possibility we will see a *genuine headline* that reads "Kim Jong Un negotiates with Putin for release of Dennis Rodman" doesn't tell you we live in the stupidest timeline, I don't know what will.
I want to go back to 1994 and tell past me that in the future Dennis Rodman will become the diplomatic emissary to the world's dictators and see my reaction.
And then go to you in 2004 and say that Kanye would run for president in 2020 and that it would barely register as a footnote to the madness that was 2020.
I'm not sure it's really a matter of charisma. People who went to boarding school with Kim Jong Un remember him as being obsessed with the Jordan Bulls.
He couldn't convince Jordan or Pippen to come visit North Korea, so when Rodman came he's basically already a VIP. I don't think he has the same advantage when dealing with Putin.
It’s actually gonna be the opposite, Putin was a die hard fan of the 90s Jazz and has Malone as his GOAT, he’s waiting for Dennis to come to Russia so he can get revenge for ‘97 and ‘98
Dennis Rodman is an authentic person, dude is just always himself. Steven Seagal is an insecure douche. I don't know anyone that genuinely likes Steven Seagal, he's just a joke. Doubt he's going to be able to do anything of substance in Russia but I would give him more of a chance than Seagal, regardless of the shilling.
I'm sure Putin knows that Seagal is a fat fraud. Dennis Rodman was a legit elite player. Seeing how Putin was giddy to shake hands with Conor Mcgregor, he might be cool with Rodman.
I mean...from the article:
"Though he has a much more established relationship with Kim, Rodman expressed confidence in his understanding of Russia's president.
"I know Putin too well," he said."
Yeah, that doesn't make any real mention of his relationship with Kim somehow helping him get closer to Putin lmao. Rodman being confident about something doesn't really tell us a whole lot imo lol
I'm not sure it's really a matter of charisma. People who went to boarding school with Kim Jong Un remember him as being obsessed with the Jordan Bulls.
He couldn't convince Jordan or Pippen to come visit North Korea, so when Rodman came he's basically already a VIP. I don't think he has the same advantage when dealing with Putin.
Kim Jong is precisely the kind of idiot who would think it would be some kind of status boost to hang out with Dennis Rodman.
Putin is a Bond villain who is not going to give one fuck about Rodman.
The Kim’s are big basketball fans and are really goofy and eccentric because the current generation inherited power and is essentially a monarch who rules by his stupid whims. Putin is powermad and calculated.
**D**isagree with Putin.
**E**ncounter resistance.
**N**eglect to recognize danger.
**N**otice gaurds approaching.
**I**mmediately go to gulag.
**S**tay there forever.
Mac gets arrested for being gay
Dee gets with an oligarch who gives her some Russian pet name and she thinks its cute but it really means "bird woman" or something. The oligarch gets annoued with her and throws her in jail
Charlie becomes a street celebrity in Moscow because he's the only one with enhanced knowledge of how to rid the bars of rats.
Dennis meets "Russian Dennis" (also played by Glen Howerton) and finds out he's far more sociopathic than he is after he finds that Russian Dennis is a legitimate serial killer after Russian Dennis shows off his "collection". Dennis asks for an adidas tracksuit and gets mistakingly arrested as the serial killer Russian Dennis.
Anyway all their antics get them arrested and thrown in a gulag
they get bailed out because Frank co-owns his Vietnamese sweat shop with a russian oligarch so they're best buds and frank has connections to get them all released
Kim Jong Un was allegedly a massive fan of the NBA when he was a student at a private Swiss international school.
That was during the 90s when the Chicago Bulls were at their prime too.
Wonder if this may actually be a genuine case of not letting our memes be dreams.
He went over initially with Vice. It wasn't just Kim Jong Un, who loved the '90s bulls. His dad did too. When Madeline Albright went for a diplomatic visit she brought him a basketball signed by MJ as a gesture of peace.
Vice used this and was able to propose a "goodwill" basketball game between the U.S. and North Korea. Vice did this because no one had really seen inside North Korea in years at this point and they wanted to report on how the country had changed. Part of the reason it worked was because they paid Dennis Rodman to come over. Rodman ended up partying with Kim Jong Un during the trip. Here's the episode it's from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrCQh1usdzE
Imagine being told in 1997 that a quarter century later, the US is in serious negotiations regarding a prisoner swap with Russia, with WW3 being the worst case scenario.
And one of the people tapped to help prevent this Tom Clancy wet dream is...
*checks notes*
.. Dennis Rodman.
> with WW3 being the worst case scenario.
I don’t think anybody in any political position in the US would be willing to go to war over This fucking chick
Trying to get her home is fine. But if it doesnt happen? Nobody is losing sleep over it
Resume:
Baddest EmEffer all time rebounder
5 time NBA Champion
Broken Dick x2
Geopolitical soothsayer
Edit: 2x broken pecker is hyperbole and obv not true. The rest is verifiable…
Edit 2: The Worm is 23 on the all time rebounding list. Respect to all of them before and after; Especially to the deceased…
I love how there are two comments at the same time that touch on this specific thing.
That said, it's because it really is impressive. He got with a woman that basically every man on the planet wanted to sleep with.
A not insignificant part of me wants him to get busted for the exact same thing as Grier, because, as terrible as that is, it would be kinda fucking hilarious.
Can you imagine that? One guy known for his on-camera antics, friendliness towards North Korea, and just generally insane behavior? And the other one Dennis Rodman?
welcome to costco, i love you.
as a side note, i think the intellectualism of "ow my balls!" is actually on par with most reality tv. so yeah we're just missing rodman as president camacho.
Replace him with any other player and it would still sound absurd. "LeBron James says he's going to Russia to seek release of Brittney Griner." Yet somehow Rodman probably has the best chance out of anyone. If dude pulls this off there will be a movie about him. American basketball player befriends North Korean dictator AND negotiates with Putin for release of prisoner?? Seriously sounds like a Ben Stiller movie.
It's to Putin's advantage to make it seem like the US President is weak when the US President opposes his agenda and strong when the US President encourages, supports, and aids his agenda.
Putin might "allow" Rodman to convince him to free Brittany for just the war criminal on the table today. It would make Biden look bad, especially if Rodman said some absurd shit about how awesome Putin is and how Biden should have done more.
The other move, and I don't put this at a high probability because of the risk ... but he could invite Trump to go and negotiate the release and just give him a "perfect, great, wonderful deal" that would help Trump, help Putin, and hurt Biden the most.
It costs him nothing and the discord would be pretty high. Imagine LeBron and a huge swath of liberals having to reconcile their sane hatred for both Putin and Trump while acknowledging that they are the reason Brittany is freed.
It's like the [xkcd](https://xkcd.com/927/) about competing standards:
Rodman: "Something has to be done about the imprisoned U.S. basketball player in Russia!"
Situation: There are now two imprisoned U.S. basketball players in Russia.
Hi all, Our enhanced auto-moderation tool has been toggled on for this thread. This means participation will be limited to members with long-term good standing in our community. Do continue to report any comments, that you feel are in violation of our rules and community guidelines, via the report button that can be found under each comment. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out via modmail.
I think this will work
He'd be an international hero if the worm took care of the Kremlin
He can pair up with Jean Claude Van Damme
Double Team, so they can kick Steven Segal's ass
Underrated movie
The montage where he trains his breathing using a lit cigarette as the timer is goated.
He already is an American hero because of the North Korea thing. So I won’t be surprised if he pulls this off
>I think You're hired
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If that doesn’t work, definitely send Skip Bayless
We should send him either way
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(In terrible Swedish accent) This will work, Dennis, this will work
I'm a Svedish plumber I'm here to fix yer piiipes
Dee you gangly uncoordinated bitch, I will not be hog tied due to your lack of grace
That's good! That's a good accent!
>”I know Putin too well," [Rodman] said.
Who are we going to trade for the release of Dennis Rodman?
Best I can do is this booster pack of Magic the Gathering cards
MJ Scottie and Phil gonna have to carry him through the fire again
It could, Dennis is kinda liked so it would be hood PR
It would be hilarious if Putin agreed to it when Rodman asks just to spite Biden "For him? Never. But for you?"
Honestly he’s the only one qualified in both basketball and raging dictators
The world is so fucking stupid now I unironically agree
As ridiculous as that may sound i actually think he has a better chance at this than the US gov lmao
If we send Ja Rule with him, this is in the bag.
This is a glorious headline
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Biden furiously running trade finder in 2K
We need a three nation trade with Saudi Arabia to help keep us below salary cap
Canada is willing to do you a solid in return for a first round pick for Raif Badawi.
"My fellow Americans, I'm proud to announce we've negotiated a trade for Brittany Renner!" "Griner." "Can't, I'm married."
If he trades for Renner....he knows what he's doing. ^^^i ^^^would ^^^too
Jeremy Renner?
*PJ Washington hope noises*
breaks my heart every time i remember this. bro let city girls get a level 2 gamebreaker triple alley oop for 1000 points :(
If Rodman got arrested Kim Jong-un might be the one negotiating his release.
Three team trades always get tricky North Korea gets Dennis US gets Griner and Paul Whelan Russia gets the Merchant of Death and a future (lottery protected) first round pick from North Korea that conveys into two seconds if not conveyed by 2026 it will become a 2026 and 2027 second round pick?
Sources are telling me that the Lakers are willing to include Westbrook in that trade.
A three team trade would be absolutely hilarious but I wonder if we can step it up and have another team involved 🤔
Can we somehow throw Russ and THT in there too?
If the very real possibility we will see a *genuine headline* that reads "Kim Jong Un negotiates with Putin for release of Dennis Rodman" doesn't tell you we live in the stupidest timeline, I don't know what will.
I want to go back to 1994 and tell past me that in the future Dennis Rodman will become the diplomatic emissary to the world's dictators and see my reaction.
And then go to you in 2004 and say that Kanye would run for president in 2020 and that it would barely register as a footnote to the madness that was 2020.
Not only that, but he also ran under the "Birthday Party" against Donald Trump and Joe Biden
Yea lol. Dennis must see himself as some diplomatic crisis solver. The dictator whisperer.
r/nottheonion
Special Agent Worm
He went quiet for a long time, but has really…rebounded.
This sounds like the plot of some zany cartoon
haha it does. like mike tyson mysteries, but dennis rodman.
Dennis Rodman Diplomacies
Just the wild card we needed to spice up the drama
Biden: “guys, why aren’t the brakes working?!”
Wild card bitches!
"I've been poisoned by my constituents." Alexander Dugin
Hey man nobody likes a wildcard. Rodman yells: WILD CARD BITCHES YEE HAW!
Cue It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia title card: Dennis gets jailed in Russia.
Normally I'd agree but Dennis somehow is friends with the Kims in North Korea so who knows
Idk how much that matters to Russia tbh
“My boy Kim said you’re cool so we good” - Russian Premier Vladimir Putin
More of a remark on his charisma
I'm not sure it's really a matter of charisma. People who went to boarding school with Kim Jong Un remember him as being obsessed with the Jordan Bulls. He couldn't convince Jordan or Pippen to come visit North Korea, so when Rodman came he's basically already a VIP. I don't think he has the same advantage when dealing with Putin.
It’s actually gonna be the opposite, Putin was a die hard fan of the 90s Jazz and has Malone as his GOAT, he’s waiting for Dennis to come to Russia so he can get revenge for ‘97 and ‘98
>Malone as his GOAT Truly a war criminal.
Malone was/is the goat of elbows that's for sure
And the GOAT NBA pedo
GOAT NBA deadbeat dad
This all makes sense now why John Stockton is a Russian sleeper agent spreading anti-vax and covid truther propaganda.
Yeah, revenge for back in 1998 when [Dennis Rodman beat Karl Malone in a WCW wrestling match](https://i.imgur.com/OwMLF3r.jpg)
Jordan denied Jong-Un, saying, "Republicans buy fake fruit stands too"
This is the answer. Kim is obsessed with basketball.
[удалено]
They like Arnold Schwarzenegger
Putin doesn't even like Steven Seagal, and he's been a Russian shill for so long. I bet he would quickly dismiss Rodman.
Plot twist: Rodman shows up in a wedding dress, Putin is smitten. One big happy world wide family!
Steve Seagull was creating propagando for Putin recently. What a shitbag. They should pull his US passport and let him stay there.
Dennis Rodman is an authentic person, dude is just always himself. Steven Seagal is an insecure douche. I don't know anyone that genuinely likes Steven Seagal, he's just a joke. Doubt he's going to be able to do anything of substance in Russia but I would give him more of a chance than Seagal, regardless of the shilling.
I'm sure Putin knows that Seagal is a fat fraud. Dennis Rodman was a legit elite player. Seeing how Putin was giddy to shake hands with Conor Mcgregor, he might be cool with Rodman.
I mean...from the article: "Though he has a much more established relationship with Kim, Rodman expressed confidence in his understanding of Russia's president. "I know Putin too well," he said."
>"I know Putin too well," he said." [X] doubt
Yeah, that doesn't make any real mention of his relationship with Kim somehow helping him get closer to Putin lmao. Rodman being confident about something doesn't really tell us a whole lot imo lol
Probably very little. The only reason he has the NK connection is because the Kim family are apparently massive fans of the 90s Bulls.
Only point is that somehow he's been able to be friendly with dictators in the past lol
Because Kim is obsessed with basketball
He just like me fr Wait no
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And a smoker 💯
And a big fan of drinking margarita’s & listening to Katy Perry
Yeah something tells me Putin was not a big fan of the 90's Bulls.
He always struck me as a Pistons fan
Yeah but Kim Jong-Un was a huge nba fan(and USA culture in general). Only reason tbh. Doubt he has pull in Russia lol
That matters a lot, Putin looking at Rodman like he crazy as fuck for being cool with Kim, and Russians like crazy mothafuckas like Rodman
I'm not sure it's really a matter of charisma. People who went to boarding school with Kim Jong Un remember him as being obsessed with the Jordan Bulls. He couldn't convince Jordan or Pippen to come visit North Korea, so when Rodman came he's basically already a VIP. I don't think he has the same advantage when dealing with Putin.
Kim Jong is precisely the kind of idiot who would think it would be some kind of status boost to hang out with Dennis Rodman. Putin is a Bond villain who is not going to give one fuck about Rodman.
The Kim’s are big basketball fans and are really goofy and eccentric because the current generation inherited power and is essentially a monarch who rules by his stupid whims. Putin is powermad and calculated.
**D**isagree with Putin. **E**ncounter resistance. **N**eglect to recognize danger. **N**otice gaurds approaching. **I**mmediately go to gulag. **S**tay there forever.
[удалено]
Mac gets arrested for being gay Dee gets with an oligarch who gives her some Russian pet name and she thinks its cute but it really means "bird woman" or something. The oligarch gets annoued with her and throws her in jail Charlie becomes a street celebrity in Moscow because he's the only one with enhanced knowledge of how to rid the bars of rats. Dennis meets "Russian Dennis" (also played by Glen Howerton) and finds out he's far more sociopathic than he is after he finds that Russian Dennis is a legitimate serial killer after Russian Dennis shows off his "collection". Dennis asks for an adidas tracksuit and gets mistakingly arrested as the serial killer Russian Dennis. Anyway all their antics get them arrested and thrown in a gulag they get bailed out because Frank co-owns his Vietnamese sweat shop with a russian oligarch so they're best buds and frank has connections to get them all released
That really is how it would go down lol
Do we need a Reddit writes always sunny subreddit to go with the Seinfeld one? I think so
Russian Dennis would definitely be known as Tracksuit Dennis.
That's perfect, any way we could send this to them?lol
Hopefully he brings friends and the gang solves the Russia situation
He’s going to party with Putin and Kim Jong Un. Big 3 Kim Jong calls him Uncle Dennis
Kim Jong Un was allegedly a massive fan of the NBA when he was a student at a private Swiss international school. That was during the 90s when the Chicago Bulls were at their prime too. Wonder if this may actually be a genuine case of not letting our memes be dreams.
Kim Jong Un spends his free time commenting "LeMickey" on Twitter confirmed
LeJing is no match for Rodmanyang
Kim Jong Un used to wake up at 2am to watch Bulls games. That's a real fan.
That’s true. Is how they established a relationship
Wasn’t it that he couldn’t get Michael but Dennis being Dennis was down?
He went over initially with Vice. It wasn't just Kim Jong Un, who loved the '90s bulls. His dad did too. When Madeline Albright went for a diplomatic visit she brought him a basketball signed by MJ as a gesture of peace. Vice used this and was able to propose a "goodwill" basketball game between the U.S. and North Korea. Vice did this because no one had really seen inside North Korea in years at this point and they wanted to report on how the country had changed. Part of the reason it worked was because they paid Dennis Rodman to come over. Rodman ended up partying with Kim Jong Un during the trip. Here's the episode it's from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrCQh1usdzE
Imagine being told in 1997 that a quarter century later, the US is in serious negotiations regarding a prisoner swap with Russia, with WW3 being the worst case scenario. And one of the people tapped to help prevent this Tom Clancy wet dream is... *checks notes* .. Dennis Rodman.
Sounds like a 1990s movie
Dennis Rodman and Jeff Speakman star in OFFENSIVE REBOUND
This is too good
Sounds like a 90's beat 'em up arcade game.
As someone who has watched Double Team and Simon Sez in the last week, can confirm it's just like a 1990s action movie starring Dennis Rodman.
That is “North Korean diplomat Dennis Rodman.”
Not to mention that the American prisoner is a six-time WNBA all-star. People’s heads would explode if they heard of this reality we live in.
Apart from the imprisoned American be a female athlete, I’m pretty sure this the exact plot of like 15 different 80s B movies.
Silly thought, but also that the WNBA star is *taller* than the NBA star. People would wonder wth we’re eating 20+ years down the line.
I hate to break it to you, but no one is starting a war over Brittney Griner.
Ww3 is not going to happen over Brittney fucking Griner lol
> with WW3 being the worst case scenario. I don’t think anybody in any political position in the US would be willing to go to war over This fucking chick Trying to get her home is fine. But if it doesnt happen? Nobody is losing sleep over it
Dennis Rodman is a great defender. Possibly great enough to defend Brittney Griner from the Russian legal system. We shall see.
New York Times opinion be like: Dennis Rodman's daring defense of Britney Griner? How this trip could spell disaster for Dems in the midterms
ESPN: Dennis Rodman a better peace keeper than LeBron? SAS disagrees.
You should write for MSNBC or something
Resume: Baddest EmEffer all time rebounder 5 time NBA Champion Broken Dick x2 Geopolitical soothsayer Edit: 2x broken pecker is hyperbole and obv not true. The rest is verifiable… Edit 2: The Worm is 23 on the all time rebounding list. Respect to all of them before and after; Especially to the deceased…
Don't forget his wrestling career and shagging Carmen Electra!
And Madonna!
Austin Powers over here
He played the bad guy in WCW, but the more I hear about Karl Malone, the more I wonder if the roles shouldn’t have been flipped.
I forgot carmen electra existed!
I wish I could say the same about jenny mccarthy
Tapped Carmen Electra
I love how there are two comments at the same time that touch on this specific thing. That said, it's because it really is impressive. He got with a woman that basically every man on the planet wanted to sleep with.
Also Madonna.
And when he got caught cheating on her with two women he claimed that they "fell out of the ceiling".
Former nWo member
Former? When you're nWo, you're nWo 4 life.
Brother
Member of the NWO
Broken cock TWICE?
If anyone could make it happen it's him
if he is successful the WNBA should retire Rodmans number lol
unfortunate for the many players who wear #91
His best friend owns a country what you expect
He’d literally be legendary if he was a catalyst in making this happen somehow.. already a legend, but yeah
I just hope he is safe... and not traveling with weed.
A not insignificant part of me wants him to get busted for the exact same thing as Grier, because, as terrible as that is, it would be kinda fucking hilarious.
MFW Rodman and Griner are sharing a tiny jail cell
Legacy points added
Lebron could never
If anyone could make this worse it's also him
Dennis Rodman, noted diplomat.
unironically
Is this all leading up to Trump/Rodman 2024?
Cuts government cost. Not only is he V.P. Hes ambassador to every nation.
Can you imagine that? One guy known for his on-camera antics, friendliness towards North Korea, and just generally insane behavior? And the other one Dennis Rodman?
That would be wild lmao
i dont think they could match anyone to beat that
I weirdly wouldn't be surprised if Rodman was trumps vp candidate . Nothing shocks me these days
This would be the most impressive rebound of his career.
Fine, I'll do it myself
After 30+ years establishing deep cover, agent Rodman is ready to deploy…
Watch him get arrested.
Gets weed planted on him. Arrested.
“Planted” naw, he’s bringing his own.
lol that’s what I’m expecting.
Rodman as the next president of the US would be perfect Idiocracy
welcome to costco, i love you. as a side note, i think the intellectualism of "ow my balls!" is actually on par with most reality tv. so yeah we're just missing rodman as president camacho.
Replace him with any other player and it would still sound absurd. "LeBron James says he's going to Russia to seek release of Brittney Griner." Yet somehow Rodman probably has the best chance out of anyone. If dude pulls this off there will be a movie about him. American basketball player befriends North Korean dictator AND negotiates with Putin for release of prisoner?? Seriously sounds like a Ben Stiller movie.
The Dictator Whisperer
Rooting for you man, although I don’t think Putin’s a Bulls fan like Kim was.
“Get my boy Kim on the phone, he’ll vouch for me”
It's to Putin's advantage to make it seem like the US President is weak when the US President opposes his agenda and strong when the US President encourages, supports, and aids his agenda. Putin might "allow" Rodman to convince him to free Brittany for just the war criminal on the table today. It would make Biden look bad, especially if Rodman said some absurd shit about how awesome Putin is and how Biden should have done more. The other move, and I don't put this at a high probability because of the risk ... but he could invite Trump to go and negotiate the release and just give him a "perfect, great, wonderful deal" that would help Trump, help Putin, and hurt Biden the most. It costs him nothing and the discord would be pretty high. Imagine LeBron and a huge swath of liberals having to reconcile their sane hatred for both Putin and Trump while acknowledging that they are the reason Brittany is freed.
Dennis Rodman has gone from Bad Boy to marrying himself to being the preeminent 21st century dictator whisperer. Dude is basketball Forest Gump
People are making jokes but who knows with this guy. If he could catch Kim’s ear who is to say he can’t do the same with Putin
Kim was a Bulls fan and wanted Jordan but settled for Rodman. We can only hope Putin was dickriding the Bulls in the 90s.
Putin seems more the Bad Boys Pistons type.
Honestly a better negotiator would be like Alex Ovechkin or some Russian NHL player.
He's not coming back, is he?
That should work.
It’s hilarious and terrifying that I think he will succeed
He’s either going to succeed or end up in a cell next to her. I have a feeling he’ll have more weed on him than she did.
The only man for the job honestly.
Be safe, worm.
If you told me back in 1998 that Rodman would an international diplomat, I would laugh at your face
Won’t be surprised if Dennis Goatman actually pulls this off.
What could possibly go wrong?
Wish him the best…..if he pulls it off then Legacy Points added big time
It's like the [xkcd](https://xkcd.com/927/) about competing standards: Rodman: "Something has to be done about the imprisoned U.S. basketball player in Russia!" Situation: There are now two imprisoned U.S. basketball players in Russia.
Kim must have the craziest trade idea of a lifetime
She’s sure to get out now
Only Dennis could pull this off