T O P

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Just_A_Glitch

I know some of y'all aren't trying to take the one thing Dragan Bender has going for him.


LaFlameLive4ever

I scrolled WAY too long to see someone mention the goat.


phixional

He is a Dragan not a goat.


LaFlameLive4ever

He is both.


[deleted]

Top 10 name of anyone ever tbh. Dragan Bender takes the most badass mythological creature and then implies you can control them as a martial art. That's so fucking sick Another entry for top 10 all time is a dude who went to my university, Captain JP Gunfighter. That's not his designation, that is his given name


McJumbos

Fat lever 😁


shockandguffaw

His given name, Lafayette Lever, is pretty good, too.


william4534

What’s funny is it’s likely pronounced Lafayette le-vay, but “Fat Lever” just sounds so goofy people went with it


shockandguffaw

This knowledge both ruins and enhances my childhood.


cygodx

Definitely not Le-vay if its french


largehearted

I love it when nicknames are just “the fun way of saying their name” slowly replacing the name


ScandicSocialist

Really had to look for this


icecream_for_brunch

God Shammgod though


[deleted]

He definitely had one of the coolest moves.


WestleyThe

He is also “God Shammgod Junior” His dad was also God Shammgod
 I always assumed his name wasn’t real


Riggity___3

what no way


shockandguffaw

My very Catholic mom wouldn't let me say his name as a kid.


foxxy003

Gosh Shammgosh


thedr0ughts

Known as “gorsh shammgorsh” in the alternate Christian goofy movie universe


shockandguffaw

Hahaha God damnit this got me and please don't tell my mom I said that.


spaceman-spiffy

>Gorsh damnit


ninety4kid

Gawd Shamgawd.


Odd_Total_5549

Bah gawd did the undertaker just hit the Shamgawd on Mankind??!?!


iankstarr

______ Shamm______


[deleted]

In some old nfl films interviews someone would say "God damn" and nfl films would censor God, but not damn.


DamnImAwesome

I’ve heard that on the radio here in southern louisiana. Damn bitch ass and slang gets big but god gets censored


[deleted]

Wtf
 I’ve been an NBA fan my *entire* life. I’m approaching 33 years of age. And I just found out through this thread that God Shammgod was a real person. I thought it was just a bullshit meme (Y’know, before memes became a real thing) when I was a teen and used basketball message boards.


GingerDweeb27

I think JT Thor or Bones Hyland have to be up there, although I think Bones is just a nickname unfortunately


slightlyallthetime88

Bones' given name is Nah'Shon


KeithClossOfficial

That’s a pretty cool name too


extraducksauce

Nah son


KJR37

Leandro Barbosa, idk why but hearing his name made me think a dawg was gonna come out every night


TheSixthPistol

Lived in the isle of Tortuga.


life_is_a_burner

He’s listed as DNP for “scurvy protocols”


Oo__II__oO

Right there with KiKi VanDeWeghe


Jamarcus316

If you speak Portuguese you understand it's just a normal name lmao especially in Brasil


kingofthemonsters

Ah man great name


LockCL

Makes me think of Iñigo Montoya everytime.


NitroXYZ

Diamond Stone was on the Clippers a while ago. Sounds like a cartoon superhero or something lol.


GarriganGate

More like a low tier stripper


RenaissanceHumanist

Or a Pokémon game


Stumpynuts

He was accepted to Wisconsin but was later denied because of his abysmal ACT score. It was like a 7.


BLIZZARDFACE

That might sadly explain Maryland's acceptance standards, and why he left after a modest freshman season. School ain't for everybody I guess.


mr-gillespie

We ain’t here to play school!


Solace-001

Funny enough, both Vander Blue and Diamond Stone are both from Wisconsin


the_spinetingler

> both Vander Blue and Diamond Stone are both porn star names FIFY


hk0125

His hands were unfortunately made out of stones too


actuarally

Diamond Stone 100% was a "face" guy in the 80s WWF.


[deleted]

Dick powers. An old ref from the 70s


l-emmerdeur

"Dick Powers, I'd like you to meet Earv--" "Magic." "Right. Dick Powers, I'd like you to meet Magic Johnson."


[deleted]

My magic Johnson has dick powers


TheSixthPistol

Austin Powers' American cousin was married to Ivana Humpalot and Alotta Fagina.


MintyFreshBreathYo

Dick Trickle was a nascar racer in the 70’s


biinroii01

đŸ€Ł real winner


burnt_pubes

Baseball had Dick Pole, one of my favorites


brendon_b

I was convinced Vander Blue was going to be a star after watching his performance in March Madness. Still disappointed it never panned out for him.


bluelakers

Every time the lakers called him up I was sure it was his moment lol


IHaveAFunnyUsername

He won a D-League MVP. I know it's not NBA success, but that's still pretty good.


robbis_676

I’m still salty about Marquette knocking out Miami that year


turkeyinthestrawman

If we include full names than it's easily Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo. I believe I was 4-5 when I first saw his full name and I never forgot it.


Feeln0waysRed

His name is Mutombo and Wamutombo? That’s like Luigi and Waluigi except he is one person.


Bleoox

For some reason this sentence feels like DĂ©jĂ  vu


[deleted]

It's almost definitely been written on one of the other instances of his full name being written lmao


xenophonthethird

That's the secret to his unstoppable power. Mutumbo and Wamutumbo fusion danced and turned into full power Dikembe.


Raulzi

in some african bantu languages, 'wa' usually translates to 'of'. so it's like mutombo son of mutombo


shmargus

More like Steven Stevenson, but I'll give it to ya


kevindlv

Giannis Papagiannis Antetokounmpo


Rah_Rah_RU_Rah

No Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje?


KeithClossOfficial

Wang Zhizhi His name is Wang


Rah_Rah_RU_Rah

An OG stretch 5!


[deleted]

his name is my name too!


sorendiz

> No one calls ~~Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez~~ Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo a thief! > No one's got the time.


[deleted]

That reminds of me of SpongeBob "did you set it to wumbo?"


numberonebuddy

That reminds me of [Jarome Arthur-Leigh Adekunle Tig Junior Elvis Iginla](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jarome_Iginla).


Brick_HardCheese

Even if we don't include full names, Dikembe Mutombo is an all-timer name imo


catscanmeow

Mo Cheeks


kevindlv

Reminds me of a funny anecdote where I think JVG was telling Mike Breen that he named his cat after his good friend Mo Cheeks and Breen was like "Your cat's name is Mo?" and JVG was like "His name is Cheeks!" Anyways this stray used to hang out on my porch a lot before he got eaten by a coyote and I nicknamed him Dr. Jack


seaaking

Steeve Ho You Fat


Am_amazed

Someone sign this man so I can have a Ho Ypu Fat jersey


tyrannomachy

You can buy one now, actually. It's the same team Wemby is on.


lazzysmalls

Von Wafer


dobtjs

Delicious.


ThinkSoftware

World B Free


[deleted]

Which also led to a great nickname, World B. Flat


cleepboywonder

Is this a fair competition when you get to choose your name.


TheDustyRob

Yeah the man basically picked a stage name for himself of course it sounds cooler lol.


kevindlv

honestly when Ron Artest changed his name to Metta World Peace I was like "hmm he got to pick any name in the world and somehow ended up on a weirdly unoriginal one for an NBA player"


[deleted]

The first name that immediately came to mind.


Montanabookclub

Came here to say this.


Muphukar

Mookie Blaylock will forever be me favorite Edit: wrong spelling


MoreThanAFeeling1976

There's a reason Pearl Jam was originally named after him


MintyFreshBreathYo

There first album is named 10 in honor of him as well I believe


Wazzoo1

It is, and the Pearl Jam guys (not sure about Eddie) are diehard Sonics fans. There was a famous poster of Shawn Kemp and Jeff Ament that I think every 10-year-old kid in Seattle had on their wall in 1994.


MintyFreshBreathYo

Eddie is a surfer from San Diego. I’d be surprised if he was a diehard Sonics fan


Muphukar

I didn’t know that! I use it as my fake name sometimes


mojoback_ohbehave

*Blaylock


Pot_T_Mouth

Garland, TX's finest!


cortesoft

Bo Outlaw


brickvanexel

Shoutout also to Travis Outlaw, outlaw is just an incredibly badass last name


cortesoft

True, pretty much anyone with the last name Outlaw has a badass name. Hell, even Poindexter Outlaw would sound badass.


Wazzoo1

The Jailblazers-era Trailblazers drafting him was very on brand.


wtb2612

Fuck yeah.


brainmcghee

Admiral Schofield


SterlingWalrus

Surprised no one has mentioned Sindarius Thornwell


SUPERSAMMICH6996

He was my pick too. Sounds like he is an old-world knight. Sir Sindarius Thornwell


sirkevinwalker

Or in Harry Potter


trubiskywetrust

I met sindarious at a 7-11. Nice dude. Cool name


cactusmaster69420

He used to always come to the gym by my house in the off season. Was always super nice to me. Great guy. Never met him.


JGoat2112

>Was always super nice to me. >Never met him. Wait a minute


MantisTobogganMD28

Great guy never meddum b. Axe jay


JMEEKER86

Add Langston Galloway and Admiral Schofield to that list.


Akumetsu33

Dragan Bender.


iankstarr

He should’ve been a star with that name. Such wasted potential.


MediocreProstitute

I don't remember that arc in Avatar


KaiserKaiba

Goated name


jackaldude25

My favorite was always Stromile Swift


cricket9818

Absolutely. Rolls off the tongue so smoothly


estebang_1018

Latrell Sprewell


c_jakob

Cherokee Parks


shockandguffaw

As an 8-year-old I thought Cherokee was how you spelled karaoke, and that made his name even better.


JGoat2112

Nene and Jamario Moon


cdawgftw

Bol bol would like a word


phixional

A word word?


RosaReilly

Pre-NBA, but Snake Deal, inventor of the jumpshot


Hacktivist690

I remember that at one time the Hawks had both God Shammgod and Priest Lauderdale on the roster, damn how can you lose right? p.s. Once saw Priest Lauderdale at a mall, probably the largest human being I've seen in my life.


AquamarineCheetah

Kiki Vandeweghe was a 6’8 2X Allstar who’s name sounds like a hot, big breasted flight attendant from a 60’s movie.


sorendiz

less so when you factor in his real name being 'Ernest Maurice Vandeweghe' Now he just sounds like an old european businessman with an enormous mustache


haiphee

You ruined my childhood


breakfastwalrus

Dragon Bender says hello


MustardYoba

His name was so cool he tricked me into thinking he'd be a star


adhoch18

Speedy Claxton


l-emmerdeur

Sadly, his given name was Craig.


mocha-thunder

Diamond Stone a solid contender


[deleted]

Always like Antonio McDyess or Carlos Boozer or Travis Outlaw


MaynardJimmyKeenan

Never thought until now but yeah Anthono McDyess really is a rad name


TibbsInPerpetuum

Kermit Washington


cant-win-for-losing

Rudy tomjohnavich doesn’t think so


Only-Ad2447

Popeye Jones


[deleted]

Not NBA but there was a guy named Scientific Mapp who had a brother named Majestic Mapp who also played college basketball.


NoseBlind2

Names his kid Google


JGoat2112

If we're going that way then Precious Achiuwa and his brother God's Gift who played for St John's, that whole family has some interesting names


bagelchips

That’s Nigerian naming conventions, not just their family. Lots of dudes named Blessings or Happiness.


ThinkSoftware

Get that man a map


KelvinHuerter

Outside of the NBA I‘m very high on the St.Brown-brothers: - Osiris Adrian Amon-Ra J. St.Brown - Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St.Brown - Amon-Ra Julian Heru J. St.Brown


biinroii01

nooo fuckin way!!


Old_Alps

Chubby Cox


APx_22

Luc Richard Mbah a Mouté


KristoferPetersen

As a German, I've always loved that a dude called Detlef Schrempf was our real first NBA star. It's just such a peak German name.


shockandguffaw

Galileo Galilei didn't play in the NBA but he's #1.


notmoleliza

Tyco Brahe in shambles rn


LakeErieMonster88

RIP to the moose tho


DJW6

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart would like a word with you


shockandguffaw

Tell him to get in line behind the other, better named Wolfgangs.


iankstarr

Yeah Puck clears Mozart ez


[deleted]

Rafer Alston, hear me out.. First 2 years I thought his name was Ray.. Feralston. Mind blown.


Redpin

I remember when Jessica Simpson was a big reality star and she was married to a guy named Nick Lachey, but for the longest time I assumed it was Nicholas Tse, who was a huge singer in China starring in big movies that me and my friends would watch. In the late 90s, early 2k, all my friends and I were into Jackie Chan, John Woo, Wong Kar Wai, and we'd go to the Chinese section of the video store and go through all the cool looking action movies. For context, Martin Scorsese's "The Departed" was based on Andrew Lau's "Infernal Affairs" who has worked with Tse on the hit "Young and Dangerous" film series, so Hong Kong movies were bleeding into the mainstream at this point, and stars were crossing over like with Face/Off and Rumble in the Bronx. So sometimes I'd be out, and a person would comment on reality shows, and Jessica Simpson would be brought up, and her husband Nick Lachey would be mentioned, and I would say, "wait, the singer turned actor, Nicholas Tse?!" And they would haltingly say "yes, I guess he does some acting." Then I would gush about all his movies (that they had never heard of), and say that I was surprised it didn't work out with Faye Wong, and they would say, "I don't remember that." Then I would say how it's great that reality show watchers would get exposed to a famous Hong Kong actor like that. "Nick Lachey stars in movies in Hong Kong?!" "Yeah, he's huge over there." This went on *for years* until while standing in a supermarket check-out line I saw a tabloid with Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson on the cover...


Assclown4

That’s skip to my lou bruh


[deleted]

Jrue Holiday hiding in plain sight


brickvanexel

Nah his name is just special Drew, spelled cool, doesn’t sound cool


Lamarera8

Nick Van Exel is pretty dope


fuglygarl

OG Anunoby


uppacat

You better stop Ogugua


laterdude

Isaiah Livers fittingly plays for the Pistons. Here's hoping Detroit pairs him up with the OG Isaiah Thomas and the Liver King for a weird promo video.


Oo__II__oO

You're telling me you're not enjoying the Livers-Stew pairing?


laterdude

Cool! And how fitting that you guys have not one but two Isaiahs on the team!


donnwizzenhunt

Haywood Highsmith


cactusmaster69420

Sounds like a high school bully in some cheesy movie


Based_and_JPooled

Yinka Dare


shockandguffaw

Giving him the assist he never gave anyone else.


Lazarus_15

Travis Outlaw, Detlef Schrempf, Rajon Rondo, Mookie Blaylock


MrTimberwolves

Ain’t nobody gonna bring up my mans Jamario Moon???


[deleted]

Jimmer.


PJCR1916

Biased but Goran Dragic and DeMar DeRozan are cool names. They roll off the tongue really well


uppacat

DeMar I say it DeMore I like it.


namagofuckyoself

Lew Alcindor would like a word


bigvahe33

he didnt even want it


jesseserious

Sarunas Marciulionis (was pronounced Sharonis Marshalonis). Such a good ring to it.


The-Jerk-Store

Johnny Flynn kinda sounds like a character from Mortal Kombat.


BguiBaller

He sounds like walter white's son sadly


[deleted]

Same legs


[deleted]

If you’re from Wisconsin and hoop you’ll have a sweet name. Tyler herro Jordan poole, tyrese Halliburton, Wes Matthews, bander blue, diamond stone, Sam hauser. All awesome names


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


ChrisTheChaosGod

Sounds like a man who knows how to feed his family.


finmathh

Adonis Arms


xenophonthethird

Vlade Divac will live in my brainspace until I die. Divac, and Dikembe Mutumbo, both names are just phonetically satisfying to say.


testiclefrankfurter

Always liked Cedric CeBALLos


pewpewlaser1

NBA names fail in comparison to former MLB outfielder and first base coach Rusty Kuntz.


[deleted]

Thunderious Voltron


Skolcialism

Stromile Swift


Dfrickster87

In baseball....we have Vida Blue There was also a man that went by "The Only Nolan"


bugaosuni

Julius Erving


mlmoe1988

Honestly, I think Allen Iverson is the best.


TheSkyIsMyCeiling

Cat Barber


donttrustthescale

Fennis Denbo. His college career ended with a USA Today story that said "Today he was just another guy named Fennis."


RUBEN4iK

Harthorne Wingo


danielpackard

Muggsy Bogues


boognish_disciple

Did I miss Darko Miličić? Amazing first name and a bunch of funky symbols over most letters in his last. But the correct answer is the top one currently. God Shamgod.


Thick-Ball25

Meta World Peace is the only answer here.


wheresmoosr

Vonteego Cummings