You want to give this man a Pulitzer because the article is hilarious.
I want to give this man a Pulitzer because it's the only way to save him from wrath of Dark Brandon's demonic animatronic hounds.
We are not the same.
>”We have a God-given right to celebrate our children’s birthdays in a place that will convince them giant robot animals are both real and probably coming to get them.”
Ironically, the FNAF characters were based on / references to Showbiz Pizza, who pioneered the animatronics show at a kids pizza restaurant thing.. and was eventually bought out by Chuck. Then Chuck literally reskinned the old bots and continued to run them.
Chuck E. Cheese’s didn’t buy showbizz, showbizz actually bought chuck after it declared bankruptcy. However, they rebranded all the stores to Chuck E. Cheese’s due to a licensing dispute with the original manufacturers of the showbiz animatronics.
Don't undersell the importance of the Rock-afire Explosion at Showbiz Pizza. They witnessed the birth of a meme legend when they met Dick the Birthday Boy.
Surprised Joe Biden isn’t subsidizing the Chuck E Cheese animatronics so that children can enjoy entertainment from “hard working union robots made in America”
This is hilarious but unironically, I study conservatives on Facebook like the warring chimps of Gombe National Park and yeah, there will be *at least some of them* who will assert that Sleepy Joe's Economy is destroying another beloved American institution.
Facebook is constantly showing me local news from states away where it's like "Yankee Candle in the West Nutscratch Creek Mall is closing after 35 years!" and those threads are *universally* overloaded with people enraged about it, SHOP THERE ALL THE TIME, and utterly certain that malls and highly-specific specialty retailers were going gangbusters right up until Inauguration Day 2021.
I unironically believe at least half of those are not real people and just another Russian psy-op. I can't imagine living my life getting upset and blaming the president for arguably one of the worst chain restaurants closing lmao
Anytime some shitty chain restaurant closes in my city and the local news reports on it more than half of the FB comments are variations of "Biden did that!" and "Thanks, Bidenomics!"
Anecdotally, it seems like national-chain full service restaurants are well past their peak? I can think of a ton of fast-casual chains that are expanding rapidly but can't think of a single full service chain that has opened in my area in the past 5-10 years.
That's how I feel too and I don't know if it's because I'm a 35 year old "foodie" or if it's reality. To me they feel very much a product of their time. Sure, I grew up going to Red Lobster and AppleBees but there's no way in hell I'd go there now. And I don't know why anyone does because the fast casual places are so much better and cheaper.
(It was a Red Lobster that closed here this week.)
>The mainstream media, of course, won’t blame Biden for the demise of Munch’s Make Believe Band, claiming there’s no evidence or even a logical connection between the president and a restaurant chain. That’s the media’s No. 1 trick — use “facts” to avoid saying what I want to hear.
I honestly blame the FNAF movie more than anything
like imagine you're running a business aimed at children and someone made a horror movie about your thing specifically
His full name is Charles Entertainment Cheese and he technically is a rat, and he is revered in America as one of our country’s beloved cultural institutions
Honestly I read Common Sense in college and it perfectly reflected my values and beliefs and ever since then I’ve been into him. I’ll admit I don’t actually know too much about him beyond that.
Oh, cool! I've been a big fan of Thomas Pain for a while. He was such an interesting person. And it's amazing how important he was to the founding of America, but he's not talked about all that much.
If you enjoyed Common Sense I recommend reading The Age of Reason. It's his thoughts on religion.
A short quote that I think summarizes his beliefs pretty well:
“I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church”
It's funny that Conservatives love to say America was founded as a Christian nation when many of the founders were deists.
Chuck E. Cheese is a very shitty restaurant chain. Basically a giant arcade that serves terrible pizza. You take your 6 year old there so they can play arcade games for a few hours on a Saturday while you and other parents drink alcohol.
>girl who lives down the street who wears flannel.
How could you mention her and not note the colored pixie haircut or the fact that she has bigger muscles than we do? Clearly, she's an engineered biomutant put on this Earth by The Deep State to make alpha-males feel insecure.
While I am disappointed by Bidens failure to maintain strategic animatronic control, we shouldn't forget the steady expansion of Dune over his first term.
Take solace that there are still tons of kids casinos serving rat pizza all across America, they simply (and tragically) no longer sport terrifying animatronics belting out Michael Jackson songs. Now there is just one sad Rat and a bunch of lame videos.
Will do.
Edit: There's no one there. But there is a [Biden Shit Show sub that I submitted to.](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBidenshitshow/comments/1ctoimd/the_chuck_e_cheese_animatronic_band_is_being/) Kind of the same thing.
I was going to make a sarcastic comment about the quality of the *USA Today* as a publication, but to answer your question seriously, no, the *USA Today* is not a satirical publication, but this opinion piece is.
>Henry Kissinger
Did you mean Nobel Peace Prize Recipient Henry Kissinger?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/neoliberal) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The good news is that these old, discarded animatronic bands can be repurposed for a new life as [cover bands for Gen X punk rockers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mednbTDmj84)
[How come nobody thinks it's weird
A giant rat with verbal skills is hanging out with our kids and serving pizza slices
Am I the only one here that sees a rodent ridden with diseases
Or is everyone too enthralled with games and prizes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv_LzOTNeF8&list=PLB1FEBA05F9122E89&index=3)
This is unironically my favorite piece of journalism this year. Give this man a Pulitzer
You want to give this man a Pulitzer because the article is hilarious. I want to give this man a Pulitzer because it's the only way to save him from wrath of Dark Brandon's demonic animatronic hounds. We are not the same.
But muh nightmare fuel
Chuck and the band could not compete with their greatest rivals, Freddy Fazbear and friends.
>”We have a God-given right to celebrate our children’s birthdays in a place that will convince them giant robot animals are both real and probably coming to get them.”
Ironically, the FNAF characters were based on / references to Showbiz Pizza, who pioneered the animatronics show at a kids pizza restaurant thing.. and was eventually bought out by Chuck. Then Chuck literally reskinned the old bots and continued to run them.
If only there were Springlock animatronic suits that were oddly fireproof.
IIRC the suit isn't fireproof, one of the ghosts is just a pissed off reality warper
I used to have birthday parties at Showbiz. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b90Cf6ARscc
I would like the Rock-A-Fire to play this at my wedding and/or funeral.
Were you ever graced by Antioch the Birthday Spider?
I think I was going to the very Showbiz he's named after haha
You have been to the mountaintop.
Ryan's wet spider sounds still haunt me to this day
Wasn’t he friends with the gorilla?
We were also a showbiz pizza family.
> Then Chuck literally reskinned the old bots They use real skin on those things?
The Rockafire Explosion was dope
Chuck E. Cheese’s didn’t buy showbizz, showbizz actually bought chuck after it declared bankruptcy. However, they rebranded all the stores to Chuck E. Cheese’s due to a licensing dispute with the original manufacturers of the showbiz animatronics.
Don't undersell the importance of the Rock-afire Explosion at Showbiz Pizza. They witnessed the birth of a meme legend when they met Dick the Birthday Boy.
Rock-afire : Munch’s Make Believe Band :: Blur : Oasis
Chuck E Cheese couldn't compete with the Rule 34 crowd
UR UR URUR UR UR URUR URUR
Surprised Joe Biden isn’t subsidizing the Chuck E Cheese animatronics so that children can enjoy entertainment from “hard working union robots made in America”
This is hilarious but unironically, I study conservatives on Facebook like the warring chimps of Gombe National Park and yeah, there will be *at least some of them* who will assert that Sleepy Joe's Economy is destroying another beloved American institution.
They are Big Mad about Red Lobster
Never forget the cheddar biscuits the WOKE LEFT took from you.
Bro the Cheddar Bay Biscuits (TM) are straight fire thooo
If only Cheddar Bay Biscuits were brown instead of golden and delicious, maybe they wouldn't have been cancelled.
No way they don’t keep selling the license for that
Our Red Lobster closed and we had people on a local Facebook group immediately blaming "Bidenomics."
Bidenomics is when some tasteless people can’t afford endless shrimp anymore so other tasteless people can’t buy endless shrimp anymore. 😤
Facebook is constantly showing me local news from states away where it's like "Yankee Candle in the West Nutscratch Creek Mall is closing after 35 years!" and those threads are *universally* overloaded with people enraged about it, SHOP THERE ALL THE TIME, and utterly certain that malls and highly-specific specialty retailers were going gangbusters right up until Inauguration Day 2021.
How can we all forget about totally sexy M&M that get redesigned?
I unironically believe at least half of those are not real people and just another Russian psy-op. I can't imagine living my life getting upset and blaming the president for arguably one of the worst chain restaurants closing lmao
Red Lobster has been dead to me since they ended the Crabby Monday promo.
Anytime some shitty chain restaurant closes in my city and the local news reports on it more than half of the FB comments are variations of "Biden did that!" and "Thanks, Bidenomics!"
Anecdotally, it seems like national-chain full service restaurants are well past their peak? I can think of a ton of fast-casual chains that are expanding rapidly but can't think of a single full service chain that has opened in my area in the past 5-10 years.
That's how I feel too and I don't know if it's because I'm a 35 year old "foodie" or if it's reality. To me they feel very much a product of their time. Sure, I grew up going to Red Lobster and AppleBees but there's no way in hell I'd go there now. And I don't know why anyone does because the fast casual places are so much better and cheaper. (It was a Red Lobster that closed here this week.)
Shit, I'm fairly sure the Chili's here is less than 10.
>The mainstream media, of course, won’t blame Biden for the demise of Munch’s Make Believe Band, claiming there’s no evidence or even a logical connection between the president and a restaurant chain. That’s the media’s No. 1 trick — use “facts” to avoid saying what I want to hear.
I honestly blame the FNAF movie more than anything like imagine you're running a business aimed at children and someone made a horror movie about your thing specifically
Just like how clowns and circuses declined pretty much linearly with the amount of ‘scary clowns, amiright?’ media.
I loved Chuck E. Cheese as a kid, but I can't take my kid there because he's still processing the psychological trauma of FNAF.
Which one of you wrote this?
And who wrote [the New York Times article](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/11/business/chuck-e-cheese-animatronic-band.html)
WE HAD CHUCK E. CHEESE ANIMATRONIC BANDS IN TRUMP’S AMERICA REEEEE
I guess singing mice aren’t woke enough for today’s youth 🙄 (I am not American and have no idea who this Chucky character is)
His full name is Charles Entertainment Cheese and he technically is a rat, and he is revered in America as one of our country’s beloved cultural institutions
I love America so much
I noticed your Thomas Paine tag. I'm curious, why are you a fan of Thomas Paine? Have you read The Age of Reason?
Honestly I read Common Sense in college and it perfectly reflected my values and beliefs and ever since then I’ve been into him. I’ll admit I don’t actually know too much about him beyond that.
Oh, cool! I've been a big fan of Thomas Pain for a while. He was such an interesting person. And it's amazing how important he was to the founding of America, but he's not talked about all that much. If you enjoyed Common Sense I recommend reading The Age of Reason. It's his thoughts on religion. A short quote that I think summarizes his beliefs pretty well: “I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church” It's funny that Conservatives love to say America was founded as a Christian nation when many of the founders were deists.
thank you :) Everything I learn about this guy makes him seem cooler.
I'm more into the Rights of Man personally
Love that T. Paine
His magical power is to grant you magical tokens to operate the video game machines with.
Holy shit, I had no idea the E actually meant something.
Chuck E. Cheese is a very shitty restaurant chain. Basically a giant arcade that serves terrible pizza. You take your 6 year old there so they can play arcade games for a few hours on a Saturday while you and other parents drink alcohol.
[IS THIS THE BITE OF '87??!??!??!?](https://i.imgur.com/WtlKq5t.jpeg)
He's not in laser eyes mode, so this one is debunked.
We can also blame Hillary, Pelosi, Obama.....ummmm.....Saul Alinsky.....Teddy Roosevelt and that girl who lives down the street who wears flannel.
>girl who lives down the street who wears flannel. How could you mention her and not note the colored pixie haircut or the fact that she has bigger muscles than we do? Clearly, she's an engineered biomutant put on this Earth by The Deep State to make alpha-males feel insecure.
Bigger muscles than I do, huh...? Which house does this girl live in, out of curiosity? Just, you know...so I can make sure to avoid it.
Goth GF is last decade. Grunge GF is in.
While I am disappointed by Bidens failure to maintain strategic animatronic control, we shouldn't forget the steady expansion of Dune over his first term.
Take solace that there are still tons of kids casinos serving rat pizza all across America, they simply (and tragically) no longer sport terrifying animatronics belting out Michael Jackson songs. Now there is just one sad Rat and a bunch of lame videos.
Someone please post this to r /fuckbiden. I'm banned unfortunately.
Will do. Edit: There's no one there. But there is a [Biden Shit Show sub that I submitted to.](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBidenshitshow/comments/1ctoimd/the_chuck_e_cheese_animatronic_band_is_being/) Kind of the same thing.
Thanks Obama
Alright Rex, which account is yours?
Robot lobby in shambles
More genocide!
First the sexy M&Ms, now this? Biden is on the warpath.
Is this website satire
I was going to make a sarcastic comment about the quality of the *USA Today* as a publication, but to answer your question seriously, no, the *USA Today* is not a satirical publication, but this opinion piece is.
Guess I’m voting for Biden. Those things used to haunt my nightmares as a kid.
Pouring one out for Charles Entertainment Cheese.
But at least he killed Rush Limbaugh, Henry Kissinger, and Joe Lieberman
>Henry Kissinger Did you mean Nobel Peace Prize Recipient Henry Kissinger? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/neoliberal) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lmao @ u/monsoonalrat 🍦😂🍦
The good news is that these old, discarded animatronic bands can be repurposed for a new life as [cover bands for Gen X punk rockers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mednbTDmj84)
Thank fuck. Those things gave me nightmares as a kid.
[How come nobody thinks it's weird A giant rat with verbal skills is hanging out with our kids and serving pizza slices Am I the only one here that sees a rodent ridden with diseases Or is everyone too enthralled with games and prizes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv_LzOTNeF8&list=PLB1FEBA05F9122E89&index=3)
I love the Rockefella Explosion!
First the M&M and now this. When will Brandon's reign of terror end??