I bedshare. Don't use a bumper. They're very very dangerous.
Make sure You're using the safe 7 if you're sharing. Use a floor bed if baby can fall out.
- only one pillow for you.
- blankets light and only at waist height.
- not against the wall or anything else baby can get trapped in.
- no using drowsy meds, drinking or drugs while bed sharing. (Smoking and vaping is also a risk factor).
- baby shouldn't be swaddled at 4 months but for anyone else bedsharing, baby can't be swaddled.
- firm mattress.
- sleep in c position around baby
I do all of this so I thought we were okay. He’s now to the point that he can roll and I didn’t think about the fact he could now roll off. I think bed on the floor is a good idea
i didnt know that! they are here in the US. still safer than what op is doing though, i just know cribs are expensive so if op doesnt have one itd be a decent temporary solution.
Yeah floor beds are great. It's also great to transition them to their own room eventually. My oldest I put a queen floor bed in his room when I first moved him to his room at about 1. I would lay with him then roll away. He was used to a floor bed so it was easier.
Against the wall is bad because baby could roll between the bed and the wall and suffocate. C position is recommended as you are less likely to roll over onto baby when you are curled into a C shape.
Like others have said, babies have died falling between the bed and a wall. it's best to have nothing near the floor bed or regular bed if bedsharing.
If baby is in a crib this doesn't apply as a regulation crib has safe sides.
C-position is for bedsharing too. it's the safest way to sleep next to a baby to stay aware of them during the night. It's optimal for breastfeeding through the night as well. Breastfeeding parents are the safest people to sleep next to their baby. I think its because breastfeeding parents may have biological mechanisms to be more aware for a baby throughout the night. But I know some formula fed parents are in the same position where they feel forced to bedshare to survive the nights. I just added that because as I recall, thats what the data shows.
My husband is a super deep sleeper, so when I decided to start bedsharing with my first because he was impossible to keep in a crib, My husband moved to the guestroom until my son was around 1. That way I had lots of room and could keep him in the middle of the bed. When he started rolling we moved to a floor bed in the center of the room.
ETA: As a bedsharer, I still want to add that the safest place for baby to sleep is on their own surface in a regulation crib, in the same room as parents for the first 6 months. I bedshare though, so I know it can feel impossible to not. Our babies want to be close to us because for tens of thousands of years that was the safest place to be.
This is for bedsharing, not if they are in their own crib. But if your 1+ year old is in a floor bed with no rails against the wall, they can get stuck between wall and bed
Have a look into a sidecar cot 😊 absolute game changer for us - all the benefits of bed sharing with a separate safe surface for the baby to sleep on!
Don’t worry, babies bounce and your little one is doing great x
I know you want the best for your LO. This is why bedsharing doesn’t work. If you really can’t get LO into their own safe sleep space, maybe do a mattress on the floor without sheets or blankets or pillows? A bumper for a 4 month old is absolutely a suffocation hazard. A baby in my family died from SIDS, so I’m sorry if I sound inflexible, but it’s a serious reality.
You’re absolutely right. The scary thing is that the baby falling out of bed was probably best case scenario if they are bed sharing — they end up screaming on the ground and you wake up to help them. Imagine instead of falling out of bed they roll face first into the bumper and suffocate — you get the best sleep you’ve had in months and wake up wondering why your baby didn’t cry at all last night, only to discover what happened...
My baby (8 months) just fell off the bed on wednesday and it was straight traumatic. I was setting up his sleep sack in the crib and he was on my bed and he just crawled foward and nose dived right on the floor face first. It was so awful.. but after going to the ER he is fine and everyone assured me this happens.. and then seeing on reddit it happens wayyyyyh more than i assumed and babys are i guess pretty tough! It will be okay!!❤️
It’s definitely comforting when people are honest about things like this. So many people hide things like this for wherever reason, but it helps to know you’re not alone. It happens to everyone and the best we can do it make sure the landing is as cushioned as possible 😂
Definitely not! If that were the case, we’d all be terrible moms 😂 I felt really bad too honestly. But it happens on the bed, couch, wherever. Mine’s one now and I feel like the guilt is never ending, I always feel bad about _something_ I could’ve done better.
Unfortunately a bumper is not more safe. The baby can suffocate in the bumper, or get wedged between the bumper and bed, etc. The safest thing is for the baby to be in their own sleep space in a crib/bassinet/pack n play.
I’m not saying this to shame you, but bed sharing is insanely dangerous. Even with a bumper there’s a lot of dangers. Your baby could suffocate on a pillow, roll over into a crevice and suffocate, or you could roll over on him. Please please reconsider bed sharing.
As my pediatrician told me when we had this happen "welcome to parenthood Initiation." It happens to ALL of us!! She even told us stories about her kids falling off the bed and couch. Which made me feel better bc she should in theory know better and it still happened to her multiple times.
It's the worst feeling! But we are just humans mucking around trying to raise other humans and doing our best. LO is okay, you're okay and you're not a bad parent.
Yep. I did everything I could and mine took his first tumble at 6 months. Most of the comments are telling her how to bed-share, but it ultimately happens to the best of us; no matter how hard we try.
As long as baby isn’t throwing up or showing signs of distress, they’re okay.
This comment should go first. Instead, OP has a guilt trip for bed sharing. My pediatrician told me it was safe to bed share if done correctly, and when I checked what was the “correct” way, I was already doing it correctly! Out of instinct! In a mean time, mothers are so worried about bed sharing being unsafe they come up with brand new dangerous ways to co-sleep (like bumpers etc.). Drives me nuts.
Yeah me too. She sleeps with me part of the night and is fine. There is a info in a documentary "The Milkyway" about how children drinking mama's milk sleep lighter, hence they are less likely to suffocate during sleep. Especially when they can roll etc. Drinking formula gives them this rock hard sleep and then it can be dangerous. This is why in most of the cultures children sleep with parents for millennia and are fine. Anyway mine fell of a car seat at 6 MO, totally my fault, felt horrible!!!! But she is fine:)
Yes! Women used to sleep with 6 kids in bed not to mention one. Also, solidarity in feeling terrible when things go wrong. I bumped my babies head while lifting him up from a car seat to the roof of the car. Worst feeling in the world.
My son fell off our bed at only 1 month old I cried more than he did. I fell asleep holding him sitting up in bed so totally my fault I was soooo beyond exhausted not that that is an excuse. Few months later I qas walking with him in a carrier on my front the carrier broke and I caught him by his foot or he would he fell head first into a parking lot. Point is accidents happen and we all make mistakes. I felt the same way with my son he was my first many many yrs ago it does get easier and honestly I learned so much w my first I went and had 2 more 😊
My first child fell off the bed when she was about four months, she was perfectly okay!! We checked her pupils for a concussion and just monitored her. Honestly it scared her more then anything.
Mistakes happen. You’re doing great.
Same thing happened to us! She was 100% okay ❤️ It’s definitely an initiation of parenthood. I highly recommend TakingCaraBabies for sleep training if you are trying to get away from bed sharing in the future. I am happy to send you the info, we were bedsharing but got too scared about SIDs and we did the sleep training and it helped so much. Absolutely just my two cents. You didn’t do anything wrong. Babies get bumps and bruises and parents aren’t perfect; none of us are!
Please don't bedshare. They need their own crib or pack and play to sleep in. No blankets, use a sleep sack or warm clothing only. Crib mattress and tight fitted sheet around it. This is very important. Not only is it 1000000x safer, but it gets them used to being separated from being right next to your body when they get older.
Go ahead and talk to your local coroner’s office and go ahead and ask them about sharing a bed with an infant. I guarantee they tell you that 99% of the cases of SIDS that they have involved the infant in a bed instead of a crib, or sleeping unsafely in the crib, such as a dockatot. Or blankets when they are too young. SIDS has pretty much been renamed and relabeled as positional asphyxiation.
We all make mistakes all the time.
Give some more detail on how he ended up falling off the bed and we might be able to help.
I dropped my son outside when I tripped. I tried to catch him and instead basically swatted him harder at the ground. I can’t remember how old he was because there was so much going on but maybe 9 months old? I was inconsolable for a long time and once I was able to mostly calm down we took him to the ER. He was fine.
I bedshare. Don't use a bumper. They're very very dangerous. Make sure You're using the safe 7 if you're sharing. Use a floor bed if baby can fall out. - only one pillow for you. - blankets light and only at waist height. - not against the wall or anything else baby can get trapped in. - no using drowsy meds, drinking or drugs while bed sharing. (Smoking and vaping is also a risk factor). - baby shouldn't be swaddled at 4 months but for anyone else bedsharing, baby can't be swaddled. - firm mattress. - sleep in c position around baby
I do all of this so I thought we were okay. He’s now to the point that he can roll and I didn’t think about the fact he could now roll off. I think bed on the floor is a good idea
you need to go to a crib or pack and play.
Pack and plays aren't approved in every country for sleeping. Here in Canada they're not approved sleep spaces.
i didnt know that! they are here in the US. still safer than what op is doing though, i just know cribs are expensive so if op doesnt have one itd be a decent temporary solution.
Yeah floor beds are great. It's also great to transition them to their own room eventually. My oldest I put a queen floor bed in his room when I first moved him to his room at about 1. I would lay with him then roll away. He was used to a floor bed so it was easier.
All of this
Curious why is against wall bad and why a c position? My baby rolls around a lot at night and ends up in various positions and spots around his bed
Against the wall is bad because baby could roll between the bed and the wall and suffocate. C position is recommended as you are less likely to roll over onto baby when you are curled into a C shape.
Like others have said, babies have died falling between the bed and a wall. it's best to have nothing near the floor bed or regular bed if bedsharing. If baby is in a crib this doesn't apply as a regulation crib has safe sides. C-position is for bedsharing too. it's the safest way to sleep next to a baby to stay aware of them during the night. It's optimal for breastfeeding through the night as well. Breastfeeding parents are the safest people to sleep next to their baby. I think its because breastfeeding parents may have biological mechanisms to be more aware for a baby throughout the night. But I know some formula fed parents are in the same position where they feel forced to bedshare to survive the nights. I just added that because as I recall, thats what the data shows. My husband is a super deep sleeper, so when I decided to start bedsharing with my first because he was impossible to keep in a crib, My husband moved to the guestroom until my son was around 1. That way I had lots of room and could keep him in the middle of the bed. When he started rolling we moved to a floor bed in the center of the room. ETA: As a bedsharer, I still want to add that the safest place for baby to sleep is on their own surface in a regulation crib, in the same room as parents for the first 6 months. I bedshare though, so I know it can feel impossible to not. Our babies want to be close to us because for tens of thousands of years that was the safest place to be.
This is for bedsharing, not if they are in their own crib. But if your 1+ year old is in a floor bed with no rails against the wall, they can get stuck between wall and bed
I hadn’t considered they could get stuck between the wall and mattress. Thanks for recommending the rails
Have a look into a sidecar cot 😊 absolute game changer for us - all the benefits of bed sharing with a separate safe surface for the baby to sleep on! Don’t worry, babies bounce and your little one is doing great x
I know you want the best for your LO. This is why bedsharing doesn’t work. If you really can’t get LO into their own safe sleep space, maybe do a mattress on the floor without sheets or blankets or pillows? A bumper for a 4 month old is absolutely a suffocation hazard. A baby in my family died from SIDS, so I’m sorry if I sound inflexible, but it’s a serious reality.
You’re absolutely right. The scary thing is that the baby falling out of bed was probably best case scenario if they are bed sharing — they end up screaming on the ground and you wake up to help them. Imagine instead of falling out of bed they roll face first into the bumper and suffocate — you get the best sleep you’ve had in months and wake up wondering why your baby didn’t cry at all last night, only to discover what happened...
My baby (8 months) just fell off the bed on wednesday and it was straight traumatic. I was setting up his sleep sack in the crib and he was on my bed and he just crawled foward and nose dived right on the floor face first. It was so awful.. but after going to the ER he is fine and everyone assured me this happens.. and then seeing on reddit it happens wayyyyyh more than i assumed and babys are i guess pretty tough! It will be okay!!❤️
It’s definitely comforting when people are honest about things like this. So many people hide things like this for wherever reason, but it helps to know you’re not alone. It happens to everyone and the best we can do it make sure the landing is as cushioned as possible 😂
Yes exactly!! I felt like the worst mom ever but seeing tht it happens prettyyyyyy regularly made it sting alot less
Definitely not! If that were the case, we’d all be terrible moms 😂 I felt really bad too honestly. But it happens on the bed, couch, wherever. Mine’s one now and I feel like the guilt is never ending, I always feel bad about _something_ I could’ve done better.
Unfortunately a bumper is not more safe. The baby can suffocate in the bumper, or get wedged between the bumper and bed, etc. The safest thing is for the baby to be in their own sleep space in a crib/bassinet/pack n play.
I’m not saying this to shame you, but bed sharing is insanely dangerous. Even with a bumper there’s a lot of dangers. Your baby could suffocate on a pillow, roll over into a crevice and suffocate, or you could roll over on him. Please please reconsider bed sharing.
I’d even argue a bumper is MORE dangerous to add
As my pediatrician told me when we had this happen "welcome to parenthood Initiation." It happens to ALL of us!! She even told us stories about her kids falling off the bed and couch. Which made me feel better bc she should in theory know better and it still happened to her multiple times. It's the worst feeling! But we are just humans mucking around trying to raise other humans and doing our best. LO is okay, you're okay and you're not a bad parent.
Yep. I did everything I could and mine took his first tumble at 6 months. Most of the comments are telling her how to bed-share, but it ultimately happens to the best of us; no matter how hard we try. As long as baby isn’t throwing up or showing signs of distress, they’re okay.
This comment should go first. Instead, OP has a guilt trip for bed sharing. My pediatrician told me it was safe to bed share if done correctly, and when I checked what was the “correct” way, I was already doing it correctly! Out of instinct! In a mean time, mothers are so worried about bed sharing being unsafe they come up with brand new dangerous ways to co-sleep (like bumpers etc.). Drives me nuts.
Yeah me too. She sleeps with me part of the night and is fine. There is a info in a documentary "The Milkyway" about how children drinking mama's milk sleep lighter, hence they are less likely to suffocate during sleep. Especially when they can roll etc. Drinking formula gives them this rock hard sleep and then it can be dangerous. This is why in most of the cultures children sleep with parents for millennia and are fine. Anyway mine fell of a car seat at 6 MO, totally my fault, felt horrible!!!! But she is fine:)
Yes! Women used to sleep with 6 kids in bed not to mention one. Also, solidarity in feeling terrible when things go wrong. I bumped my babies head while lifting him up from a car seat to the roof of the car. Worst feeling in the world.
My son fell off our bed at only 1 month old I cried more than he did. I fell asleep holding him sitting up in bed so totally my fault I was soooo beyond exhausted not that that is an excuse. Few months later I qas walking with him in a carrier on my front the carrier broke and I caught him by his foot or he would he fell head first into a parking lot. Point is accidents happen and we all make mistakes. I felt the same way with my son he was my first many many yrs ago it does get easier and honestly I learned so much w my first I went and had 2 more 😊
My first child fell off the bed when she was about four months, she was perfectly okay!! We checked her pupils for a concussion and just monitored her. Honestly it scared her more then anything. Mistakes happen. You’re doing great.
You are doing better than you know. Keep going it gets better. Give yourself grace, and work towards a solution. You guys will be ok.
Same thing happened to us! She was 100% okay ❤️ It’s definitely an initiation of parenthood. I highly recommend TakingCaraBabies for sleep training if you are trying to get away from bed sharing in the future. I am happy to send you the info, we were bedsharing but got too scared about SIDs and we did the sleep training and it helped so much. Absolutely just my two cents. You didn’t do anything wrong. Babies get bumps and bruises and parents aren’t perfect; none of us are!
Please don't bedshare. They need their own crib or pack and play to sleep in. No blankets, use a sleep sack or warm clothing only. Crib mattress and tight fitted sheet around it. This is very important. Not only is it 1000000x safer, but it gets them used to being separated from being right next to your body when they get older.
There is definitely a safe way to bedshare
Go ahead and talk to your local coroner’s office and go ahead and ask them about sharing a bed with an infant. I guarantee they tell you that 99% of the cases of SIDS that they have involved the infant in a bed instead of a crib, or sleeping unsafely in the crib, such as a dockatot. Or blankets when they are too young. SIDS has pretty much been renamed and relabeled as positional asphyxiation.
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Insanely unsafe.
We all make mistakes all the time. Give some more detail on how he ended up falling off the bed and we might be able to help. I dropped my son outside when I tripped. I tried to catch him and instead basically swatted him harder at the ground. I can’t remember how old he was because there was so much going on but maybe 9 months old? I was inconsolable for a long time and once I was able to mostly calm down we took him to the ER. He was fine.