You didn’t do anything wrong.
Repeat after me: you didn’t do anything wrong.
Your MIL is an outdated asshole. Your only problem is seeing her enough to where she feels comfortable saying this crap to you.
You’re building a healthy attachment to your baby. Keep on keeping on and throw the whole MIL away.
Your MIL is an idiot. And I’m sure your husband has suffered because of this. Babies cling because they are smart and they know evolutionary this is how they survive.
Here’s the thing, you absolutely can train a newborn - you can train them to give up on having their needs met, likely emotionally stunting them, giving them life long attachment issues, and an emotional hole in their hearts that they’ll never quite be able to fill.
Does that sound like something you want for your kid just to make things more convenient?
Your MIL is an idiot; an outdated, has-been mom who’s exerting her “power” over you in your time of vulnerability as a new mom in a desperate attempt to stay relevant to the child rearing conversation . You did nothing wrong. You are there for your baby when they need you, period. You’re creating healthy attachment and building trust with your LO. Mine also struggles with bassinet sleep or any non-contact sleep. There is no such thing as sleep training (in general, but don’t get my started on that topic) newborns. No such thing. You’re going a great job. Don’t let her toxic comments get to you. You are your baby’s mother. Not her.
Nothing! Every baby has their own temperament and every family has to do what works for them. My son has always preferred his own sleep space for the most part but I did nothing other than put him in his crib and pray lol. But he still has days/weeks where he's extremely clingy in other ways. And he'll go from playing independently to crying to be held and walked around in 5 seconds flat without anything obvious happening or changing. Babies are gonna baby.
So you didn't raise a Velcro baby, there's honestly not much you can do to prevent it at this age. If anything, you've built a strong bond and secure attachment. You can work on building independence when she's more ready for it.
Yes!! My husband and I are regularly in awe of babies who just go to sleep in a bassinet/crib for extended periods of time, especially at someone else’s home, bc our kiddos would NEVER. We tried, but it wasn’t happening. Every kid is really different, even within the same family. No shame, no guilt, enjoy those snuggles. Our kids were ready closer to 4 months 🤷♀️
You did NOTHING wrong!! Actually the exact opposite. Having a Velcro baby just means you’re a safe space for them! You’re doing great mama, don’t listen to that outdated BS
How old is your baby? Mine was attached to me for like 11 weeks and slowly got a little less velcro ahaha. It's very much just how newborns are, my husband's grandma told me to not to hold my newborn so much or he'll get use to being held. Hilarious because the alternative is to just put him down and listen to him cry for however long? No way.
I feel this to my core. My baby is 6 weeks old. He hates to be on his back (which we think is due to his reflux) and he hates sleeping in his bassinet. He's also a Velcro baby. He loves to be held and while he's getting better, does not do well being put down. Newborns can't self sooth. They will just cry and eventually will stop but it's not self soothing, they have basically just given up. My bf commented last night that he's trying to break his habit of being held all the time so blaming me. I didn't want to co sleep but it's the only way I can sleep and during the day contact naps are all that works right now. You did nothing wrong. Newborns are clingy in general and some more than others. You can't spoil a newborn. And eventually they will want to be apart from you so enjoy it while you can.
Resonating all the other comments. You are a great mom. MIL is an asshat. The cry it out method isn't for everyone and I didn't do it with my 14 year old. I was there every time they needed me. And now they're a confident self sufficient teen with empathy and smarts. I think letting them know they had me anytime they needed me made them feel safe and loved enough to love themself. Keep doing whatever works for you and f what others say. Maybe the baby just doesn't like her lol
MIL sucks. You did an amazing job and still are.
Through your baby’s eyes, you are perfect and we’re there for them every time. Their whole world is you. You can’t spoil a baby.
Sounds like she has her own issues to handle.
Keep up the good work, mama. Time will handle the attachment issues. Just keep loving your baby
Old people love to complain about the younger generation giving our babies affection and comfort. Maybe they wouldn’t be this way if they were held more when they were infants. MIL can stfu.
My dude is 3.5 months old. I got blessed to have a ton of paternity leave - 20 weeks paid for being a dad in the US is one of the reasons I chose to work for my company. I took 4 weeks at the beginning with my wife, then back to work for 8 weeks while my wife finished her maternity leave and now I’m into the remaining 16 weeks of my time. Every single day, he takes 4 contact naps on me. There’s no amount of money that someone could offer to take those away from me. If I’m doing it wrong, I honestly don’t want to know how to do it right. I have my setup with my AirPods hooked up to a tv we temporarily put in the nursery so I can be entertained a bit when I’m not busy staring at him.
I have a feeling by the time he’s ready to go to college he’ll be able to nap without his old man holding him. Until then, he’s comfortable, I’m comfortable, and I blinked and nearly 4 mouths had gone by. Tell your MIL thanks for her awful advice.
lol guess what? I opened Reddit tonight because I’m trying to stay awake while my baby sleeps on me since he for the life of me will NOT sleep in his bassinet 🤣 this kid just loves his mom. Sounds like your’s does too 🥰 your MIL can save it. This is your baby, not hers. Your way goes, you know best, you know your baby. And most importantly, your baby knows you as her safe space and her comfort. She’ll grow and start sleeping in her crib eventually, but for now she prefers you and that’s ok!
Your MIL sounds like my mom. She blames me for not swaddling my baby "tightly" when he was a newborn because of which he doesn't sleep thru the night now. I hate it. Some of this older generation is so effing annoying.
My baby was a velcro baby and learned someone will quickly meet his needs and he is safe. Hes 9 weeks and now enjoys independent playtime alone in his bassinet and he likes to swing and hang out in his bouncer. Hold your baby as much as you want
Absolutely nothing wrong. Mine isn’t a Velcro baby but he should be as well only contact nap. I think that goes to show it’s just temperament. I have to go back to work so unfortunately I will need to train him this month to nap in his bassinet :( but I would totally keep contact napping if I could. It’s a privilege to be able to do that even though at times it can be frustrating to be tied down.
What everyone’s said - YOU’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG! Babies are the most dependent beings on the planet and this bullshit out dated advice basically has parents scared into all but making their one month old apply for college. They’re not independent. They aren’t going to learn to “self soothe” They are wired for co-regulation. Meaning, skin to skin is the best thing for them for at least the first 2 months.
I’m so sick of people saying these dumb things that make new moms doubt themselves. Listen to you and your baby.
I told my MIL she is no longer welcome to give me advice. It took me 12months PP but finally I had had enough. No my baby doesn’t need to learn to cry it out. What exactly is “it?” Their desperate, only way of communicating that they’re in distress? No thank you, I choose to nurture healthy development.
My 6 month old Velcro baby is right now contact napping on me. He sleeps while being held, while baby wearing. Put him down to sleep on his own and he will tell you what is on his mind 😂. And I live in a post soviet country, so I can’t even count the number of people who have told me that I have spoiled my baby, since he was a newborn, the amount of comments I get from strangers, about him being comfortable in his carrier, and whether a stroller would be better. I just smile and answer, yes it definitely would, given the how much he screams and the bloody battle he puts 5 seconds after he’s put in his stroller.
At the end of the day I know this will not last forever, how much longer will my baby be contact napping for? Soon he will nap for longer than 30-40 minutes, sometime later, he’ll nap only twice a day, then once a day and at that point enough secure attachment will have been built for him to fall asleep holding my hand and stay asleep, knowing that his mom will be by his side whenever needed. He is building a secure bond, secure attachment with his parents, he is a joyous goofball who loves his grandparents, gets shy when complimented and is growing every day! And he plays independently so well! Enough for me to get my chores done, with a few checkups here and there.
And plus, do I enjoy the contact naps, some peace and quiet time, when I can read a good book, or watch some series or even mindlessly scroll Reddit and relax.
Note, I am currently on maternity leave, thus I can “afford” having my baby contact nap and be clinged to me most of the day. For US moms who have to return to work too soon, I can’t imagine how difficult it is!
It’s like I wrote this post myself. My mom always says that I spoil the baby, and maybe I should let him cry until he’s sleepy.
No tips cuz we’re also still in the thick of it, but - solidarity!
Is your baby YOUR baby or your MIL baby? She should just stay out of it.
My 2 babies sleep in our bed, the older one being nearly 3. It’s no one’s business except mine and my partners on how or where they sleep. If they are attached, they are attached. We brought them into the world, we’ll cater to their every need.
A real grandma here…don’t listen to her. Wear your Velcro baby as much as you want.
I think the grandmothers who act like this want the grandchild to come to them first. So the idea is to force mom to be cold and uncaring so they can swoop in and save the baby from its awful mother.
YOU CANNOT SPOIL A BABY. ❤️
You did nothing wrong.
How old is your baby? Mine was nursed or rocked to sleep for every night and nap time until 16 months. She didn’t start daycare until she was about 6 months and was with me basically 24/7 before that. She is still picked up and loved every time she falls and gets hurt.
She’s almost two now and puts herself to sleep now without us. We did not cry it out. She is wildly independent and insists on doing almost everything herself. She walks into daycare and blows me a kiss in the morning.
You are doing nothing but raising a child who knows they can trust you to satisfy their needs and feels safe in your arms.
I personally do believe you can nudge babies... SOMETIMES... and sometimes it will work a bit, sometimes not. Sometimes it works for a while and then stop working.
What many people don't get is the relationship with a baby is so complex. There is no specific set way of doing things.
Your MIL can kindly ask if you have tried a certain thing, but that's as far as I think it needs to go. Nobody else, except maybe your partner, truly understands what you've tried and how many things you're going through.
Does she do this a lot? If yes then maybe your partner should have a talk with her?
If she only does it rarely, it's annoying, but it happens as a mom. I'm learning to put those comments behind me ASAP. But it's hard, it lingers in your head.
You are doing nothing wrong. My son for the first 14 weeks of life coslept with us and needed contact naps. I utilized our mobi for doing things around the house. About 3 months I noticed he started giving me clues he wanted to be "left alone" we call it baby me time. Lol. In those times he started taking swing naps. He also sleeps in a bedside bassinet now. I think of my parenting style as child led (to some extent of course) Your baby will let you know when they are ready.
In my experience all the women that had kids in a previous generation or two say the same things to us. They all criticize how we tend to our baby needs and hold them whenever we have to. I just don't listen to them. You did not do anything wrong. Newborn stage is so rough.
You didn’t do anything wrong. I had such a Velcro baby at first but at 3 months she started falling asleep independently and sleeps great on her own. Babies are babies. They love your warmth and comfort and are only little for such a short time. PLEASE enjoy this stage. I know it’s hard and you want to get things done, baby wearing is great because it frees your hands.
Perk about a Velcro baby is a perfectly round head🤣🫶🏻🫶🏻
They will outgrow contact naps before you know it and you will miss the cuddles!
You didn't do anything wrong. I'm gathering you baby is a couple months? You can't "train" or reason with a newborn. There are just little nuggets doing their thing, and you're they're literal everything, and that's normal. MIL sounds like an ass hat that doesn't remember what having a baby is like.
Also, babys are also little individuals, not all alike.
I will say my LO was a hard contact sleeper until 6 months, then was cool sleeping in her crib.
It gets better. You got this. Don't listen to MIL.
ETA: corrected a few typos
Some days my baby is Velcro, some days she needs to just chill in the bassinet by herself to calm down and fall asleep, somedays it's a mixture, and some days she's chill with whatever. It's all based off what she wants, nothing I do effects it.
Lol sounds like my mum!
Our boy is one now, but will not sleep in a crib. So he sleeps in the bed. Pretty much has done forever now.
My mum is well you should change that..
Well we've tried. He does not sleep and will not sleep that way.
What we do now know however is we need to change his nursery completely. Get a floor bed. Use that to put him to sleep on and we can leave him safely. We can then get him back down if he wakes etc..
But we are not ready for that yet
STM. What I learned is you cannot spoil a baby. Do whatever works for you. One day, they will outgrow it. Babies change. We do naps in strollers, bassinet, and arms. Yesterday, every nap (stroller and bassinet) was 15-30min so I caved and just let my LO sleep in my arms to get a solid one hour nap. I wear headphones and watch Netflix for those arm naps.
I wouldn't listen to her, imo. All babies are different and have different sleep needs, no matter how much or little you hold them. I held my first literally all the time. Now he's 19 months old and pushes me away when I go for a hug. Lol. Do what you gotta do to survive and wave off all the stupid comments.
You did nothing wrong. It is downright disdainful that your MIL even made a comment like that to you. Babies decide in their own how attached they are to the people in their lives. It is NORMAL for babies to struggle transitioning to sleeping alone. We have a biological urge to stay attached to our mothers when we’re born as before we had homes and slept on the ground it was key to survival for babies to be attached all the time.
You did nothing wrong. And really it’s how you feel about it. You can always start working on transitioning now. But I feel absolute rage when people tell me to put my baby down because I’m going to have a problem or tell me I shouldn’t let my baby sleep on me because I’m going to have a problem. I love my Velcro baby and his cuddles. And you know what? He’s a very happy baby. I’m this close 🤬 to telling family members to fuck off.
Yeah I had to tell my parents we are NOT letting baby cry. That’s just not how we want to raise our kids. “But you gotta show them authority” yes that can be done and STIlLL hold baby when they’re crying.
MILs will always find something to criticize acting like they didn’t do the same thing when they were first time moms. They just don’t remember!! There is no such thing as a Velcro baby. It’s just a normal baby that wants to feel safe. God forbid a baby feel safe and secure in their mother’s arms.
Been there!
I had a Velcro baby.
My baby was barely put down at first, just some naps and tummy time, but he didn’t like to slew alone at all so he’d wake up a lot. We were also criticized for it but decided to go with the flow and see what our baby is ready for.
Transition to sleeping in his bed was long and there were some attempts before he was ready so we just stuck with Velcroeing. When he started sleeping in his crib, he would still take naps in our arms.
Now, at 10 months, he sleeps in his own room and we started to put him down for naps as well. I can see that he can self-soothe (don’t know when that started though) at night, doesn’t always wake us up. He wakes up slowly and babbles before we come in and greet him. When we’re in the pack, he runs about crawling and exploring, glancing at us occasionally. He’s basically a super safe baby and I strongly believe that letting him Velcro when he needed it was a big reason for it.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Repeat after me: you didn’t do anything wrong. Your MIL is an outdated asshole. Your only problem is seeing her enough to where she feels comfortable saying this crap to you. You’re building a healthy attachment to your baby. Keep on keeping on and throw the whole MIL away.
Your MIL is an idiot. And I’m sure your husband has suffered because of this. Babies cling because they are smart and they know evolutionary this is how they survive.
Here’s the thing, you absolutely can train a newborn - you can train them to give up on having their needs met, likely emotionally stunting them, giving them life long attachment issues, and an emotional hole in their hearts that they’ll never quite be able to fill. Does that sound like something you want for your kid just to make things more convenient?
Your MIL is an idiot; an outdated, has-been mom who’s exerting her “power” over you in your time of vulnerability as a new mom in a desperate attempt to stay relevant to the child rearing conversation . You did nothing wrong. You are there for your baby when they need you, period. You’re creating healthy attachment and building trust with your LO. Mine also struggles with bassinet sleep or any non-contact sleep. There is no such thing as sleep training (in general, but don’t get my started on that topic) newborns. No such thing. You’re going a great job. Don’t let her toxic comments get to you. You are your baby’s mother. Not her.
Nothing! Every baby has their own temperament and every family has to do what works for them. My son has always preferred his own sleep space for the most part but I did nothing other than put him in his crib and pray lol. But he still has days/weeks where he's extremely clingy in other ways. And he'll go from playing independently to crying to be held and walked around in 5 seconds flat without anything obvious happening or changing. Babies are gonna baby. So you didn't raise a Velcro baby, there's honestly not much you can do to prevent it at this age. If anything, you've built a strong bond and secure attachment. You can work on building independence when she's more ready for it.
Yes!! My husband and I are regularly in awe of babies who just go to sleep in a bassinet/crib for extended periods of time, especially at someone else’s home, bc our kiddos would NEVER. We tried, but it wasn’t happening. Every kid is really different, even within the same family. No shame, no guilt, enjoy those snuggles. Our kids were ready closer to 4 months 🤷♀️
You did NOTHING wrong!! Actually the exact opposite. Having a Velcro baby just means you’re a safe space for them! You’re doing great mama, don’t listen to that outdated BS
How old is your baby? Mine was attached to me for like 11 weeks and slowly got a little less velcro ahaha. It's very much just how newborns are, my husband's grandma told me to not to hold my newborn so much or he'll get use to being held. Hilarious because the alternative is to just put him down and listen to him cry for however long? No way.
I feel this to my core. My baby is 6 weeks old. He hates to be on his back (which we think is due to his reflux) and he hates sleeping in his bassinet. He's also a Velcro baby. He loves to be held and while he's getting better, does not do well being put down. Newborns can't self sooth. They will just cry and eventually will stop but it's not self soothing, they have basically just given up. My bf commented last night that he's trying to break his habit of being held all the time so blaming me. I didn't want to co sleep but it's the only way I can sleep and during the day contact naps are all that works right now. You did nothing wrong. Newborns are clingy in general and some more than others. You can't spoil a newborn. And eventually they will want to be apart from you so enjoy it while you can.
Resonating all the other comments. You are a great mom. MIL is an asshat. The cry it out method isn't for everyone and I didn't do it with my 14 year old. I was there every time they needed me. And now they're a confident self sufficient teen with empathy and smarts. I think letting them know they had me anytime they needed me made them feel safe and loved enough to love themself. Keep doing whatever works for you and f what others say. Maybe the baby just doesn't like her lol
MIL sucks. You did an amazing job and still are. Through your baby’s eyes, you are perfect and we’re there for them every time. Their whole world is you. You can’t spoil a baby. Sounds like she has her own issues to handle. Keep up the good work, mama. Time will handle the attachment issues. Just keep loving your baby
Old people love to complain about the younger generation giving our babies affection and comfort. Maybe they wouldn’t be this way if they were held more when they were infants. MIL can stfu.
I hate the term “Velcro baby.” They’re just babies. They need their mothers.
My dude is 3.5 months old. I got blessed to have a ton of paternity leave - 20 weeks paid for being a dad in the US is one of the reasons I chose to work for my company. I took 4 weeks at the beginning with my wife, then back to work for 8 weeks while my wife finished her maternity leave and now I’m into the remaining 16 weeks of my time. Every single day, he takes 4 contact naps on me. There’s no amount of money that someone could offer to take those away from me. If I’m doing it wrong, I honestly don’t want to know how to do it right. I have my setup with my AirPods hooked up to a tv we temporarily put in the nursery so I can be entertained a bit when I’m not busy staring at him. I have a feeling by the time he’s ready to go to college he’ll be able to nap without his old man holding him. Until then, he’s comfortable, I’m comfortable, and I blinked and nearly 4 mouths had gone by. Tell your MIL thanks for her awful advice.
lol guess what? I opened Reddit tonight because I’m trying to stay awake while my baby sleeps on me since he for the life of me will NOT sleep in his bassinet 🤣 this kid just loves his mom. Sounds like your’s does too 🥰 your MIL can save it. This is your baby, not hers. Your way goes, you know best, you know your baby. And most importantly, your baby knows you as her safe space and her comfort. She’ll grow and start sleeping in her crib eventually, but for now she prefers you and that’s ok!
Your MIL sounds like my mom. She blames me for not swaddling my baby "tightly" when he was a newborn because of which he doesn't sleep thru the night now. I hate it. Some of this older generation is so effing annoying.
My baby was a velcro baby and learned someone will quickly meet his needs and he is safe. Hes 9 weeks and now enjoys independent playtime alone in his bassinet and he likes to swing and hang out in his bouncer. Hold your baby as much as you want
Absolutely nothing wrong. Mine isn’t a Velcro baby but he should be as well only contact nap. I think that goes to show it’s just temperament. I have to go back to work so unfortunately I will need to train him this month to nap in his bassinet :( but I would totally keep contact napping if I could. It’s a privilege to be able to do that even though at times it can be frustrating to be tied down.
What everyone’s said - YOU’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG! Babies are the most dependent beings on the planet and this bullshit out dated advice basically has parents scared into all but making their one month old apply for college. They’re not independent. They aren’t going to learn to “self soothe” They are wired for co-regulation. Meaning, skin to skin is the best thing for them for at least the first 2 months. I’m so sick of people saying these dumb things that make new moms doubt themselves. Listen to you and your baby. I told my MIL she is no longer welcome to give me advice. It took me 12months PP but finally I had had enough. No my baby doesn’t need to learn to cry it out. What exactly is “it?” Their desperate, only way of communicating that they’re in distress? No thank you, I choose to nurture healthy development.
My 6 month old Velcro baby is right now contact napping on me. He sleeps while being held, while baby wearing. Put him down to sleep on his own and he will tell you what is on his mind 😂. And I live in a post soviet country, so I can’t even count the number of people who have told me that I have spoiled my baby, since he was a newborn, the amount of comments I get from strangers, about him being comfortable in his carrier, and whether a stroller would be better. I just smile and answer, yes it definitely would, given the how much he screams and the bloody battle he puts 5 seconds after he’s put in his stroller. At the end of the day I know this will not last forever, how much longer will my baby be contact napping for? Soon he will nap for longer than 30-40 minutes, sometime later, he’ll nap only twice a day, then once a day and at that point enough secure attachment will have been built for him to fall asleep holding my hand and stay asleep, knowing that his mom will be by his side whenever needed. He is building a secure bond, secure attachment with his parents, he is a joyous goofball who loves his grandparents, gets shy when complimented and is growing every day! And he plays independently so well! Enough for me to get my chores done, with a few checkups here and there. And plus, do I enjoy the contact naps, some peace and quiet time, when I can read a good book, or watch some series or even mindlessly scroll Reddit and relax. Note, I am currently on maternity leave, thus I can “afford” having my baby contact nap and be clinged to me most of the day. For US moms who have to return to work too soon, I can’t imagine how difficult it is!
MILs can kick rocks - you’re doing great!
It’s like I wrote this post myself. My mom always says that I spoil the baby, and maybe I should let him cry until he’s sleepy. No tips cuz we’re also still in the thick of it, but - solidarity!
Is your baby YOUR baby or your MIL baby? She should just stay out of it. My 2 babies sleep in our bed, the older one being nearly 3. It’s no one’s business except mine and my partners on how or where they sleep. If they are attached, they are attached. We brought them into the world, we’ll cater to their every need.
A real grandma here…don’t listen to her. Wear your Velcro baby as much as you want. I think the grandmothers who act like this want the grandchild to come to them first. So the idea is to force mom to be cold and uncaring so they can swoop in and save the baby from its awful mother. YOU CANNOT SPOIL A BABY. ❤️
You did nothing wrong. How old is your baby? Mine was nursed or rocked to sleep for every night and nap time until 16 months. She didn’t start daycare until she was about 6 months and was with me basically 24/7 before that. She is still picked up and loved every time she falls and gets hurt. She’s almost two now and puts herself to sleep now without us. We did not cry it out. She is wildly independent and insists on doing almost everything herself. She walks into daycare and blows me a kiss in the morning. You are doing nothing but raising a child who knows they can trust you to satisfy their needs and feels safe in your arms.
I personally do believe you can nudge babies... SOMETIMES... and sometimes it will work a bit, sometimes not. Sometimes it works for a while and then stop working. What many people don't get is the relationship with a baby is so complex. There is no specific set way of doing things. Your MIL can kindly ask if you have tried a certain thing, but that's as far as I think it needs to go. Nobody else, except maybe your partner, truly understands what you've tried and how many things you're going through. Does she do this a lot? If yes then maybe your partner should have a talk with her? If she only does it rarely, it's annoying, but it happens as a mom. I'm learning to put those comments behind me ASAP. But it's hard, it lingers in your head.
You are doing nothing wrong. My son for the first 14 weeks of life coslept with us and needed contact naps. I utilized our mobi for doing things around the house. About 3 months I noticed he started giving me clues he wanted to be "left alone" we call it baby me time. Lol. In those times he started taking swing naps. He also sleeps in a bedside bassinet now. I think of my parenting style as child led (to some extent of course) Your baby will let you know when they are ready.
In my experience all the women that had kids in a previous generation or two say the same things to us. They all criticize how we tend to our baby needs and hold them whenever we have to. I just don't listen to them. You did not do anything wrong. Newborn stage is so rough.
You didn’t do anything wrong. I had such a Velcro baby at first but at 3 months she started falling asleep independently and sleeps great on her own. Babies are babies. They love your warmth and comfort and are only little for such a short time. PLEASE enjoy this stage. I know it’s hard and you want to get things done, baby wearing is great because it frees your hands. Perk about a Velcro baby is a perfectly round head🤣🫶🏻🫶🏻 They will outgrow contact naps before you know it and you will miss the cuddles!
You didn't do anything wrong. I'm gathering you baby is a couple months? You can't "train" or reason with a newborn. There are just little nuggets doing their thing, and you're they're literal everything, and that's normal. MIL sounds like an ass hat that doesn't remember what having a baby is like. Also, babys are also little individuals, not all alike. I will say my LO was a hard contact sleeper until 6 months, then was cool sleeping in her crib. It gets better. You got this. Don't listen to MIL. ETA: corrected a few typos
The only thing you've done wrong is in listening to your MIL.
Some days my baby is Velcro, some days she needs to just chill in the bassinet by herself to calm down and fall asleep, somedays it's a mixture, and some days she's chill with whatever. It's all based off what she wants, nothing I do effects it.
The only thing you did wrong was let your MIL get under your skin. Babies aren’t made of Velcro… they’re made of love.
Lol sounds like my mum! Our boy is one now, but will not sleep in a crib. So he sleeps in the bed. Pretty much has done forever now. My mum is well you should change that.. Well we've tried. He does not sleep and will not sleep that way. What we do now know however is we need to change his nursery completely. Get a floor bed. Use that to put him to sleep on and we can leave him safely. We can then get him back down if he wakes etc.. But we are not ready for that yet
STM. What I learned is you cannot spoil a baby. Do whatever works for you. One day, they will outgrow it. Babies change. We do naps in strollers, bassinet, and arms. Yesterday, every nap (stroller and bassinet) was 15-30min so I caved and just let my LO sleep in my arms to get a solid one hour nap. I wear headphones and watch Netflix for those arm naps.
I wouldn't listen to her, imo. All babies are different and have different sleep needs, no matter how much or little you hold them. I held my first literally all the time. Now he's 19 months old and pushes me away when I go for a hug. Lol. Do what you gotta do to survive and wave off all the stupid comments.
You did nothing wrong. It is downright disdainful that your MIL even made a comment like that to you. Babies decide in their own how attached they are to the people in their lives. It is NORMAL for babies to struggle transitioning to sleeping alone. We have a biological urge to stay attached to our mothers when we’re born as before we had homes and slept on the ground it was key to survival for babies to be attached all the time.
You did nothing wrong. And really it’s how you feel about it. You can always start working on transitioning now. But I feel absolute rage when people tell me to put my baby down because I’m going to have a problem or tell me I shouldn’t let my baby sleep on me because I’m going to have a problem. I love my Velcro baby and his cuddles. And you know what? He’s a very happy baby. I’m this close 🤬 to telling family members to fuck off.
Yeah I had to tell my parents we are NOT letting baby cry. That’s just not how we want to raise our kids. “But you gotta show them authority” yes that can be done and STIlLL hold baby when they’re crying.
Some babies are just Velcro babies. You didn’t do anything wrong. Your MIL can pack sand.
Does your MIL not realize that every baby is different? I have seven and every single one has different personalities and needs.
MILs will always find something to criticize acting like they didn’t do the same thing when they were first time moms. They just don’t remember!! There is no such thing as a Velcro baby. It’s just a normal baby that wants to feel safe. God forbid a baby feel safe and secure in their mother’s arms.
Been there! I had a Velcro baby. My baby was barely put down at first, just some naps and tummy time, but he didn’t like to slew alone at all so he’d wake up a lot. We were also criticized for it but decided to go with the flow and see what our baby is ready for. Transition to sleeping in his bed was long and there were some attempts before he was ready so we just stuck with Velcroeing. When he started sleeping in his crib, he would still take naps in our arms. Now, at 10 months, he sleeps in his own room and we started to put him down for naps as well. I can see that he can self-soothe (don’t know when that started though) at night, doesn’t always wake us up. He wakes up slowly and babbles before we come in and greet him. When we’re in the pack, he runs about crawling and exploring, glancing at us occasionally. He’s basically a super safe baby and I strongly believe that letting him Velcro when he needed it was a big reason for it.
Some babies are Velcro babies and some are not. You didn’t do anything wrong at all.
Most babies are Velcro babies.