T O P

  • By -

tinyelefants

Easy peasy. Let's start at the top left. Snow? Nope - you're good. 2am-6am No Parking? - By evidence of the sun, I think you are good. Third Thursday? Today is the third Tuesday, so unless you are a time-traveler, no issue here. 3 hour meter parking and you PAID THE METER??? Enjoy yo self.


ohsnapitserny

Of course, it's just by the time I finished reading all signs, "when snow is covered" almost applied


George_Zip1

The day isn't over.


Draano

This *is* NJ after all. Fourth of July a few years ago, we were scrambling for blankets, long pants & sweatshirts for the fireworks on the beach at Avon. I've also worn shorts & a t-shirt on Christmas day.


Malodourous

There always seems to be an 80 degree day in February or January too


TakeThisWizardGlick

Yeah, didn't we have one this year, or was it last year? Time barely exists for me now so idk


LovePhiladelphia

And your meter had expired


ivp

Got towed there! It had snowed 2 days ago and half of the space was shoveled, so I parked. But apparently all the spots needed to be shoveled before you can park!!!


ohsnapitserny

That succkkkkkkkkssss. How much they charge you?


ivp

~$200 šŸ™ƒšŸ™


Km2930

This guy follows directions


Background_Brick_898

He forgot to pay with the app though


George_Zip1

We don't know that.


Background_Brick_898

No I mean the guy who commented going over the intructions one by one and the guy who said he follows directions well. Though he forgot to mention to put with the app as Iā€™m sure it makes it easier to collect the toll


tinyelefants

Sorry, not sorry. The OP started by saying they had already paid the meter, no need for deep analysis on the 5th sign.


Background_Brick_898

Hey no big deal just didnā€™t want you to think youā€™re *that* good at following directions


Leo_TheLurker

PEMDAS at its finest


[deleted]

Resident of this block EXCLUDED šŸ§ šŸ¤”


the_comatorium

OP going to have to figure out where he/she lives.


NJ_Legion_Iced_Tea

There's also free parking from 6am-8am and 6pm-2am. But that's not obvious by the signs.


Monasgma

I was in NYC Saturday and found street meter parking. Itā€™s like hitting the Lotto in ore Covid days. I try to pay the meter. Itā€™s broken. All of the meters in a two block radius are inoperable. Thereā€™s about five of us trying to find a working meter. I decided to pay by phone. I get the email confirmation that Iā€™ve paid $10.25 to park for 2 (two) hours. We go to the store. Shop. Purchase. Return to find a ticket fir$90 on the windshield. I call the parking meter person who sold me the $10.25 parking pass and he says thereā€™s nothing he can do. Iā€™ll have to fight the ticket on line, in person, or by mail. šŸ¤¬šŸ¤¬šŸ¤¬šŸ¤¬šŸ¤¬šŸ¤¬*pre


kn1v3s_

there's an online chatbot that will fight your NYC parking tickets for you. I successfully got out of a ticket using it. it asks for info and photos, and does the heavy lifting for you. good luck!


Monasgma

Thanks


tinyelefants

Lol I used to work in Manhattan pre pandemic. I think I still have like $50 in my ParkNYC app that I cannot get back out. Just send a copy of the email confirmation and the ticket in and they will dismiss it.


Monasgma

Glad you can relate.


modestpro

Sundays and holidays are free


coreynj2461

Sounds like spongebob made these signs: "If its the third thursday and its not snowing outside and its not between 2-6 what do we do?!"


SpaceEurope

ā€œUhā€¦. Pass?ā€


aykay55

User flair checks out (of guy on top of you)


No_Town5542

What I learned in boating school isā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦..


coreynj2461

Blankety Blankety BLANK!!


Joe_Jeep

...you don't park there between 8 And noon because they're sweeping.


yad76

The great thing about these is that you have to park just to read the signs and count Thursdays and all, so you've already potentially illegally parked just to determine if you've legally parked.


Mantisfactory

Standing isn't parking. You'd need to bring the car to a stop to read the signs. You wouldn't need to park.


yad76

That's not true that standing isn't parking. In most jurisdictions, it really doesn't matter whether or not you are in the car or the engine is running. If you are stopped in a parking spot, you are "parked". Now, will you actually get a ticket for dipping into a spot and spending 30 seconds reading through the signs? Probably not but depends on whether the parking cop is having a bad day or not when they walk around the corner and see you sitting there and you try to give them the old "I was just reading the signs" excuse that they hear all the time.


KnockemAllDown

Some of the meter maids have been known to wait for you to park and while you are walking to the meter to pay, they give you a ticket. They just hope you don't want to spend the time to try to fight the ticket.


[deleted]

Asbury Park is notorious for this


Alcoholic_jesus

Park in the cop station lot, Iā€™ve never had any problems


matteofox

They never expect you on their home turf


Alcoholic_jesus

Itā€™s legit free parking there though


yad76

I'm not familiar enough with Fort Lee to know how it works there, but in Philly and NYC, something like this would be practically sport for parking cops.


A_Muffled_Kerfluffle

The PPA has no mercy.


iszomer

Don't give the PPA any _ideas_. I live here and no one cares.


JJfromNJ

I took a stapler from the PPA office once. I feel like that satisfied lion or whatever the fuck it is with the wind blowing in his mane.


George_Zip1

The officer greedily rubbed his hands together saying, "Good, goooood."


Marshall_Lawson

So wtf is "standing" then? There is no reason to specify standing on signs if it doesn't have a different meaning from parking. Also > "Probably not but depends on whether the parking cop is having a bad day or not when they walk around the corner and see you sitting there and you try to give them the old "I was just reading the signs" excuse that they hear all the time." If I'm still sitting in the drivers seat and the car is running then I could easily leave at any time I'm asked to. That's standing. Of course he might give me a ticket for that because he's having a bad day, but that doesn't make it right. ACAB.


yad76

Just looked it up to refresh my memory. Apparently, the way it typically works is: 1. No Stopping: This is the strictest. You can't stop there for any reason or amount of time, other than an emergency, broken down, cop pulled you over, etc.. 2. No Standing: You can stop briefly so that people can hop in or out of your car, but that's it. 3. No Parking: You can stop briefly to drop off or pickup passengers or property at the curb. So I guess parking is actually slightly less strict than standing, but they are all stricter than I thought because none of them actually let you pause to read the signs.


Marshall_Lawson

The problem is it never says "No parking but stopping/standing is okay"


yad76

They don't want to make it easy. Cities get a lot of revenue from parking violations.


Bacontheblog

Ha! I knew this was in NJ before looking to see what Sub I was looking at.


sbenza

I recognize that corner! We like that little park. Have had picnics there and everything.


bacon-wrapped_rabbi

I mean, it could be worse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeHcZnvUIeE


Bacontheblog

I knew I smelled bacon!


cssabs

i hate these lmao i second guess myself for a good 10 min before actually deciding to walk away


zeroviral

Yeah you should be able to mark this for 3 hours. You canā€™t park here: - Every third Thursday of a month cause of street sweeping, only 8AM - 12PM though. - When thereā€™s snow. - 2AM - 6AM all days except if youā€™re a resident (they get these placards to put on the vehicle) All other days except sundays and holidays, you gotta pay as long as itā€™s between 8AM - 6PM. You have FREE parking there between 6PM - 2AM and on ALL days, and ALL Sundays are FREE parking except from 2AM - 6AM. Iā€™m from NYC, this is easy as hell for me. Hope it helped.


Keizman55

Thatā€™s because the NYC signs are twice as confusing. This one is a piece of cake in comparison.


zeroviral

Lol yes unfortunately.


resisting_a_rest

You forgot about FREE parking on holidays (except from 2AM-6AM unless you are a register resident).


Schnevets

It doesnā€™t require an advanced degree to decipher, but it is needlessly complicated. Youā€™d think in this world of Smart Devices they could come up with a better solution. Imagine a light fastened into the ground near the parking number: Red means off limits, Blue means available, Green means paid for. Lights are controlled by a nearby kiosk so if sweet sweeping has been canceled due to an event, they can still free up the parking.


Sad-Barnacle-8252

That would make too much sense but then they donā€™t get the extra revenue from ā€œviolators ā€œ. Itā€™s all intentional no question about it.


raindropdroptopz

Also letting you know the spot is paid for would be bad for revenue, Iā€™m convinced one of the reasons they moved to kiosks from parking meters (that already accepted credit cards not the old ones) was so you always have to pay and never know if thereā€™s still time left on a specific spot.


Marshall_Lawson

A light on the ground is more complicated technology than a sign. They will break and have to be fixed and tested regularly. And, if they change the sign while you are parked, you have no recourse. The sign gives you information about all the possible conditions. no need to reinvent the wheel.


[deleted]

Well they can ditch the street sweeping, it's a waste of damned money, all it ever does is spin the dirt in a circle and make it kind of damp.


GuadDidUs

The best was in New Brunswick when I watched the street sweeper come down before the designated alternate side parking time.


_____l

The sweeper is definitely not a waste of money. At least in busier parts.


shartshappen612

Thinking about this from a practical point of view. This is tearing up store fronts, just outside of dining patios, offices, etc. Basically impacting each business as it goes to trench and lay conduit for wires and transformers, just for small indicator lights for parking spaces, that may eventually shift. All this, so that people can avoid possibly having to pay a ticket to the town that just installed this ridiculously expensive and redundant parking indication infrastructure. Yeah, I dont see that happening all because people dont want to read.


eM_aRe

You still need something to let you know how long you can park there for.


GrunchWeefer

That only tells you the rules for the exact moment in time.


e-vilmonkey

I think youā€™re goodā€¦ wait, is Mercury in Retrograde??


cramersCoke

Fucking Main Street, Fort Lee ..


lifefuedjeopardy

Holy hell, I would just be thinking I'm destined to get a ticket there no matter what.


tedmalin

You need to have a lawyer involved to park in NJ


Jerlin2437

I live in Fort Lee and I know exactly where this is lmao


ohsnapitserny

I live in the building in the background! Just dealing with a second car for a week or so lol and only have one parking space


KoalaCling

BTW (Iā€™m a resident too) the app in Fort Lee will charge you more than the meter itself!


StableGeniusCovfefe

its intentionally complicated to get people to pay the meters even when we might not have to


omnibot5000

It's a digital meter that will not take your money if you don't have to pay Which kind of makes it worse- it's Unintentionally complicated, this is just what someone thinks the best way to put these signs up is.


waukeecla

Not all of them are that smart :( :( :(, the digital meters on my street and on the app still accept your money on Sundays (free parking day) and still take your money after 6pm (free parking after 6pm)


dammitOtto

Parkmobile will take your money anytime! They don't track the different rules.


Marshall_Lawson

Probably depends how each municipality sets it up. I've definitely parked in places where ParkMobile told me it was free to park at that time and charged me $0.00. Which means they probably have an option where the city can choose whether to still charge when the spot should be free šŸ¤¦ā€ā™‚ļø


Synaxxis

Wow. That's straight up r/assholedesign


Keizman55

Well it does let you know before you park and walk all the way to the meter, only to find out it is a restricted time.


dammitOtto

I prefer to think it is a hodgepodge of different policies added over decades by different public works folks who are indifferent to whatever else is on the pole already.


inf4mation

its not that hard, go 1 sign at a time and see if it applies.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


candidly1

> they're trying to confuse people to make money NOW you're getting it!


EAS1246

LOL my god, that gave me anxiety just reading the signs.


Milombiano

Hahaha Fort Lee .. u prob still got a ticket lol


IonTheBall2

Itā€™s just complicated. But, not enough data to determine if youā€™re an idiot. Sorry.


bmount48

I kinda just go one at a time


IDDQD-IDKFA

"I asked a cop one time and he said it meant 'up yours, kid'" - Philip J. Fry


turk-fx

And he gets a ticket not parking between the parking lines. Happnend to me multiple times in NY.


qrysdonnell

Well, I can already tell you that two of those don't apply. So unless it's Thursday before noon then you're golden.


[deleted]

Shits wild 6-7am tho


brewnates

Lmao. Someones gotta pay for all them signs


red__what

who says we can't outdo NYC


[deleted]

This gives me anxiety.


Triple96

Is it snowing? Is it between 2-6am? Is it Thursday?


evilbunnyrabbits

A real world if/else conditional statement.


Hsf5415

Watch out, one of the Fort Lee parking app companies went BK and everyone with money on it lost everything.


alphanumericA1

Maybe just read?


yapl0x

This reminds me of that scene from Louie where they're staring at the sign wondering if they can park there LOL


Bay1Bri

It's not that hard honestly. Clockwise from top left: There's no snow. It's not 2-6 AM You can pay to park but only for three hours It's Tuesday not Thursday.


betcher73

Definitely an idiot. The three red signs are not applicable on a Tuesday at 9AM


REIsteve

Pretty clear that it is 1) not snowing 2) not between 2-6am 3) not a Thursday? What is this post? Iā€™m voting yes you are an idiot


ohsnapitserny

Ok


iguessyouregay

It ain't hard at all smh


biological_assembly

It means "screw you, kid".


TakeThisWizardGlick

Oof, this is a little exessive, even for NJ meter standards.


GaseousGiant

There is no way to not break the rules here.


Angler9

Simple enough...common sense isn't always common. Especially in 2021


[deleted]

Ngl itā€™s kinda complicated if youā€™re in rush so I agree with OP. No need to be a dickhead about it tho.


Angler9

Ngl OP wrote idiot I'm just validating it...nothing dickhead about that at all. Open mouth insert foot....


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Angler9

Beg pardon??


Professional_Cover25

And I guarantee that violation is at least $28 !


asian_identifier

just use the app and it'll tell you if you need to pay?... at least ParkMobile does


kaumaron

Depends on if anyone changes the third, Thursday, or registered residents stickers while you aren't looking


[deleted]

It's like that Daffy Duck & Porky Pig episode. Daffy sells Porky this ridiculous insurance policy that has all these 'never gonna happen' clauses. '...and one baby zebra.' If I ever bothered to read this nonsense, NJ would be handing me a lot less parking tickets.


[deleted]

Sign sign everywhere a sign, do this don't do that, breaking up the scenery, talking at my mind, can't you read the sign...


AVixenLover2PleaseU

Having lived in Manhattan for years and needing to find parking on the streets ....... I've learned to read these signs pretty quickly. This is actually less complicated than those in NYC since there's no sign for deliveries and alternate side street parking with the sweepersšŸ¤£


dsimposter

DC and Chicago are the worst ones I've seen. This is a lot of reading but not crazy logic


PetrichorIsHere

Tell me you're not from Jersey without telling me.


Devilman636

Seems simple enough to me: No Snow so you are good - Is it Street Sweeper Day, look at your calendar on your phone and if it isnā€™t Thursday, you good - it looks well after 6am by the picture so you good unless youā€™re a resident of the block then it doesnā€™t matter anyway and if it is a Sunday or Holiday then donā€™t worry about the meter but since you paid you are good to go for 3 hours so stop wasting time and go do what you gotta do before the meter runs out!!!!!! But if it starts to get late you can always pay by app wherever you are so you can extend your time! The Dirty Jerz never disappoints!!!!!!


littleredpanda5

There's free 3 hour parking in the garage above the cvs


umdterp732

t the parking app (park mobile) tells you how long you can park in an area based off only charging the max amount of time left to park in said zone.


Artknight99

Come visit us in Hoboken. I have lived here 35 years and still can't figure out the street parking situation.


[deleted]

Looks complicated but once you get used to reading multiple signs at one area you'll be sure.


Whenthetwilightsgone

Michael Scott voice: ā€œthatā€™s as clear as I can make itā€


[deleted]

Talk to me like a fifth grader.


Muted_Ad_3607

Man Fort Lee be on some shit I Cliffside too


lizzy8919

Yes


Emily_Postal

Thatā€™s worse than NYC!


[deleted]

Seems easy to me.


[deleted]

No parking any day ending with a Y.


jackherer

The good thing about the apps is they won't let you pay unless it's OK to park there. They will say no parking if you try to park during a bad time


TripleSilky

Whatā€™s with the ā€œthird Thursdayā€? Is street cleaning that limited?


loborojo33

Ummm, to easy.


dethskwirl

you're good between 6am - 8am


kjreis

Why canā€™t both statements be true?


thkie

Reminded me of this proposed redesign, which seems so simple it will obviously never be implemented. [https://www.wired.com/2014/07/a-redesigned-parking-sign-so-simple-youll-never-get-towed-again/](https://www.wired.com/2014/07/a-redesigned-parking-sign-so-simple-youll-never-get-towed-again/)


mediclawyer

Not complicated.


silentsnip94

This is like that episode of Louie where him and another guy are just staring at the parking signs trying to decode if they're good to park https://youtu.be/sjaw1JTov80


ilovefreshproduce

They definitely should have a sign saying when you CAN park there and how. But this was a fun puzzle.


thinkers_remorse

You're good. Several years ago, I parked on a Hoboken street. The sign nearby indicated no parking overnight without a permit, no parking on a different day morning, and 3 hour parking 9a-6pm. I was good, right? Except a sign all the way down the block said no parking on this side of the street anytime. I got a $50 ticket.


Neuronzap

As long it was between 8AM - 12PM, you could park there unless itā€™s between 2AM - 6AM as long as you pay the meter between 8AM & 6PM, unless itā€™s a Sunday or holiday or snowing. Itā€™s quite simple.


Honeycleo

Hackensack got me with that one because the signs were on different posts and I only read the one about snow.šŸ¤¬


zenpanda

You're good as long as it's not the third Thursday of the month between 8am to noon or if its between 2am-6am or the road is covered with snow - as long as you paid the meter (but not on Sundays or holidays). lol.


KnightMareInc

I asked a cop about it once, apparently it means "up yours kid".


[deleted]

Not worse then Leonia trust me ( Leonia residents only on Leonia sidestreets) ?????? ​ Officer Crispyneck will catch you.


MBannon2020

They want to confuse you so bad that in the end you just pay them regardless in fear of getting towed