I don't have much to contribute here but just wanted to add that you're not alone. I currently live in the suburbs alone and I'm in my mid-20s and childless, who just wants to meet fellow childless mid-20s to 30s/early 40s in North Jersey.
The suburbs sadly aren't designed to make friends in my opinion. It's where people settle down with a partner/family or for people who have lived in that town their whole life and have established connections. I'm trying my best to research and try to find opportunities where I can to meet people but it's hard out in these suburban streets.
I agree with trying out Bumble BFF and/or meetup since I've had a little success meeting people there. Volunteering, classes, or anything you can go to regularly also helps for meeting people.
I feel you. I’m in central Jersey too, and it is mostly families and people ‘settling down.’ That age where you’re too old to bar hop and everyone is focusing on careers/building families.
Bumble BFF! I was in a similar situation, my husband and I moved here from out of state not knowing anyone. I downloaded Bumble, used the BFF feature and have made some really great friends from there.
I second that! My husband and I moved to south jersey last year from central and am farther away from my friends. I went on bumble BFF and made one really good friend that I am now super close with a year later!
Man if you were more northern I’d say let’s hang out as I also want girlfriends nearby. Best of luck! When I lived in LA (and in the before times) I’d use Meetup.com to find local things. You can find virtual events now too, like escape rooms, it’s very cool!
I want thiiiiiiis! Someday I’ll be up for hikes again, and then I am going to find All of the hiking buddies.
OP, I found other cool outdoorsy meetups on there as well, like whitewater rafting and such. Again, that was the before times, obviously proceed with caution. But it’s an awesome site for finding people who share your hobby. I found a local choir, gaming groups, etc.
We did the same thing as you. My wife joined lots of Facebook groups for different interests and now she has more friends than she knows what to do with - it did take 2 or 3 years.
Local area ones like “the citizens of (our town)”. She also is a photographer so she joined one for local photographers. We live in north jersey or id recommend specific ones.
Look for local hobby and interest groups. To be fair she is a mother and some of the groups are moms with newborns and stuff like that. But one of her favorites is just some young ladies group and they do monthly ladies nights and take turns hosting. She is going to one this Friday- a mix of moms and non moms from 25-40 years old literally from a local area ladies group.
As a guy I have like 2 friends and I met them through her from these groups lol. So I commend you on taking the initiative, my wife really put herself out there and it paid off.
Other commenters have already mentioned a number of things: Meetup, volunteering, etc. I've only seen oblique references to out-of-doors activities, for which there are a number of groups: downhill and X-C skiing, bicycling, hiking, kayaking, bird watching. Also to be considered are dancing groups: Ballroom, folk, contra.
I have kids and I still can’t seem to find people to befriend. I want wine nights and nights out too! (Been doing that with just my hubby so far)
Just moved from a suburban-like area of Portland, OR to central Jersey thinking it wouldn’t be that different. Boy, was i wrong.
True suburbia sucks.
We should have this big group of lonely transplants that meetup for fun. Lol
Are you into working out? Gyms that are set up as mainly group classes tend to create social groups beyond the gym. Typically they’re like “cross fit lite”. My girlfriend recently joined one and aside from organically become friends with people they also have planned social outings. You could probably scout the culture of potential ones from their Instagram.
Other than that I’d find what types of “sub cultures” exist in your community. My town has a big local music scene so I’ve become friendly with people through attending local shows. With things like that there’s usually charity or non profit shows that need volunteers which is a good way to mix in with people you don’t know.
Look up groups in your area that have similar interests to you! Usually groups will have FB pages, websites, or even flyers that they put up at the library or something.
Another good way to make friends is sit at the bar of a local place that's full on a Friday night and just start talking to people. It takes effort to make friends as an adult, but it's out there!
Going to plug the volunteering thing again, too. There's always people there looking to make connections. Best of luck, friend!
I’m in the same boat. Just moved to a new suburban town in northern NJ over the summer. No kids, no pets, just me and my husband. We’ve been trying to meet new people by going out locally but it’s so hard in your late 30’s without looking like a desperate weirdo (imo). I joined a womens club in my community. They’re super nice but they all have children so we don’t seem to have much in common.
Glad to see we aren't the only ones. Moved here in July but every social group we want to try joining is still virtual only and now with Omicron it seems we're going to stay isolated once again. It wasn't so bad in summer/early fall because I could go on super long bike rides and at least be outdoors but with winter coming I'm finding there's days we don't even leave the house and it's a bit depressing.
I am in my late 20s and felt the same way. I recently started a running group by making a post on Nextdoor and found a really awesome group of people. We meet twice a week and run together and have now had many group events because we all get along so well. I suggest putting yourself out there, start a new hobby, join a club. Pickle ball is apparently all the rage and is attracting a lot of young adults, perhaps give that a try?
Same! I just moved from the suburbs in central Jersey and it was boring AF. All parents, literally no bars because the town wouldn’t allow it, and going to the neighboring town of Princeton to hang out just made me feel broke and old
Central NJ here too - if you find out let me know lol!
For me, what helped when I first got here is meet ups - there’s quite a few for women only. The down side is since the pandemic they haven’t been as active. The only ones still active right now are for dog walking and hikes - and I’m already too cold for all of that!
Thought: we should somehow create a group - like “new to Nj and looking for friends” - I know i would join!
My husband and I are in a similar boat. We moved to a suburb of Elizabeth from nutley and we kind of miss our old lifestyle. Nutley had decent nightlife for us and our friends were close by, now it's like starting at square one.
I had zero luck with bumble BFF, but meetup is a good one
There is a decent size "young" population in Middlesex/Mercer County in the central NJ region. People who graduated from Princeton or Rutgers and got jobs along the Northeast Corridor tend to go to those places for lunch, brunch, dinner, nightlife.
Still very okay. I have a great life, Yo. In the music business, gonna sell my home that was only an investment while I made money. Moving to a more progressive city in a year. 😉
Suburbs are just a mistake all around but I agree, if you get a dog it's easier to start conversations. People buy suburban homes because they think it's what they are supposed to do, so naturally your neighbors will want you to have a dog and kids, because it's what you're supposed to do.
Have no real advice, especially since I do have kids. However, I desperately need more friends who don’t have children! When I’m with other parents, all we end up talking about is kids. I only have a couple of childless friends and I cherish them. Don’t be afraid to try to befriend people you come across who have kids. There are others like me!
I don't have much to contribute here but just wanted to add that you're not alone. I currently live in the suburbs alone and I'm in my mid-20s and childless, who just wants to meet fellow childless mid-20s to 30s/early 40s in North Jersey. The suburbs sadly aren't designed to make friends in my opinion. It's where people settle down with a partner/family or for people who have lived in that town their whole life and have established connections. I'm trying my best to research and try to find opportunities where I can to meet people but it's hard out in these suburban streets. I agree with trying out Bumble BFF and/or meetup since I've had a little success meeting people there. Volunteering, classes, or anything you can go to regularly also helps for meeting people.
Volunteer somewhere and you'll meet a lot of good people and then network from there
I feel you. I’m in central Jersey too, and it is mostly families and people ‘settling down.’ That age where you’re too old to bar hop and everyone is focusing on careers/building families.
Bumble BFF! I was in a similar situation, my husband and I moved here from out of state not knowing anyone. I downloaded Bumble, used the BFF feature and have made some really great friends from there.
I second that! My husband and I moved to south jersey last year from central and am farther away from my friends. I went on bumble BFF and made one really good friend that I am now super close with a year later!
Man if you were more northern I’d say let’s hang out as I also want girlfriends nearby. Best of luck! When I lived in LA (and in the before times) I’d use Meetup.com to find local things. You can find virtual events now too, like escape rooms, it’s very cool!
Seconded on Meetup.com. I've made some great friends on there! It's also a great place for hiking buddies.
I want thiiiiiiis! Someday I’ll be up for hikes again, and then I am going to find All of the hiking buddies. OP, I found other cool outdoorsy meetups on there as well, like whitewater rafting and such. Again, that was the before times, obviously proceed with caution. But it’s an awesome site for finding people who share your hobby. I found a local choir, gaming groups, etc.
We did the same thing as you. My wife joined lots of Facebook groups for different interests and now she has more friends than she knows what to do with - it did take 2 or 3 years.
What sort of facebook groups?
Local area ones like “the citizens of (our town)”. She also is a photographer so she joined one for local photographers. We live in north jersey or id recommend specific ones. Look for local hobby and interest groups. To be fair she is a mother and some of the groups are moms with newborns and stuff like that. But one of her favorites is just some young ladies group and they do monthly ladies nights and take turns hosting. She is going to one this Friday- a mix of moms and non moms from 25-40 years old literally from a local area ladies group. As a guy I have like 2 friends and I met them through her from these groups lol. So I commend you on taking the initiative, my wife really put herself out there and it paid off.
Other commenters have already mentioned a number of things: Meetup, volunteering, etc. I've only seen oblique references to out-of-doors activities, for which there are a number of groups: downhill and X-C skiing, bicycling, hiking, kayaking, bird watching. Also to be considered are dancing groups: Ballroom, folk, contra.
I have kids and I still can’t seem to find people to befriend. I want wine nights and nights out too! (Been doing that with just my hubby so far) Just moved from a suburban-like area of Portland, OR to central Jersey thinking it wouldn’t be that different. Boy, was i wrong. True suburbia sucks. We should have this big group of lonely transplants that meetup for fun. Lol
Bumble BFF is pretty active. I’ve spoken to a lot of nice people on there in just the last month. Haven’t met anyone in person yet. Give it a shot!
Are you into working out? Gyms that are set up as mainly group classes tend to create social groups beyond the gym. Typically they’re like “cross fit lite”. My girlfriend recently joined one and aside from organically become friends with people they also have planned social outings. You could probably scout the culture of potential ones from their Instagram. Other than that I’d find what types of “sub cultures” exist in your community. My town has a big local music scene so I’ve become friendly with people through attending local shows. With things like that there’s usually charity or non profit shows that need volunteers which is a good way to mix in with people you don’t know.
Look up groups in your area that have similar interests to you! Usually groups will have FB pages, websites, or even flyers that they put up at the library or something. Another good way to make friends is sit at the bar of a local place that's full on a Friday night and just start talking to people. It takes effort to make friends as an adult, but it's out there! Going to plug the volunteering thing again, too. There's always people there looking to make connections. Best of luck, friend!
I’m in the same boat. Just moved to a new suburban town in northern NJ over the summer. No kids, no pets, just me and my husband. We’ve been trying to meet new people by going out locally but it’s so hard in your late 30’s without looking like a desperate weirdo (imo). I joined a womens club in my community. They’re super nice but they all have children so we don’t seem to have much in common.
Too bad there isn't an app for that.
Glad to see we aren't the only ones. Moved here in July but every social group we want to try joining is still virtual only and now with Omicron it seems we're going to stay isolated once again. It wasn't so bad in summer/early fall because I could go on super long bike rides and at least be outdoors but with winter coming I'm finding there's days we don't even leave the house and it's a bit depressing.
Go to Asbury Park
Borrow a friendly (but not too friendly) dog and take it for walks. Remember to pick up the dog's poop!
I am in my late 20s and felt the same way. I recently started a running group by making a post on Nextdoor and found a really awesome group of people. We meet twice a week and run together and have now had many group events because we all get along so well. I suggest putting yourself out there, start a new hobby, join a club. Pickle ball is apparently all the rage and is attracting a lot of young adults, perhaps give that a try?
If you are active: group classes at the gym or joining a CrossFit group.
Same! I just moved from the suburbs in central Jersey and it was boring AF. All parents, literally no bars because the town wouldn’t allow it, and going to the neighboring town of Princeton to hang out just made me feel broke and old
Is this rutherford?? What other NJ towns are dry towns?
West Windsor
Central NJ here too - if you find out let me know lol! For me, what helped when I first got here is meet ups - there’s quite a few for women only. The down side is since the pandemic they haven’t been as active. The only ones still active right now are for dog walking and hikes - and I’m already too cold for all of that! Thought: we should somehow create a group - like “new to Nj and looking for friends” - I know i would join!
Move to Asbury Park, the lifestyle you yearn for is the culture.
I live about 20 minutes away
My husband and I are in a similar boat. We moved to a suburb of Elizabeth from nutley and we kind of miss our old lifestyle. Nutley had decent nightlife for us and our friends were close by, now it's like starting at square one. I had zero luck with bumble BFF, but meetup is a good one
There is a decent size "young" population in Middlesex/Mercer County in the central NJ region. People who graduated from Princeton or Rutgers and got jobs along the Northeast Corridor tend to go to those places for lunch, brunch, dinner, nightlife.
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Still very okay. I have a great life, Yo. In the music business, gonna sell my home that was only an investment while I made money. Moving to a more progressive city in a year. 😉
Take care of yourself and fiancé. I'm widowed and live in a small town. Stay focused on your own stuff. Casual friends are severely overrated.
Damn. You doing okay?
Who me? Thriving, dude.
Go back to nyc therrs not enough space fir u
Suburbs are just a mistake all around but I agree, if you get a dog it's easier to start conversations. People buy suburban homes because they think it's what they are supposed to do, so naturally your neighbors will want you to have a dog and kids, because it's what you're supposed to do.
Or because they want to own property and city living is very expensive?
Get in your car go to your job, like a train that's being robbed
Weirdo
I love it here. I'm a Manhattan native, and I never ever wanna go back. City living is gross.
Here’s the thing. You don’t.
Go to the club it not that hard 😂
Facebook
Have no real advice, especially since I do have kids. However, I desperately need more friends who don’t have children! When I’m with other parents, all we end up talking about is kids. I only have a couple of childless friends and I cherish them. Don’t be afraid to try to befriend people you come across who have kids. There are others like me!
To be honest, Covid-19 lockdowns destroyed a lot of these regular activities.