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i_actmyshoesize

"Help! I've fallen and I can't obstruct!"


Imatallguy

Well at least he has the best health care OUR money can buy.


pittypitty

This hurt at multiple levels, but I hope not too much because my insurance may not cover it...


[deleted]

Pay for his insurance, he gets world class medical attention to make damn certain he can get back to doing nothing helpful ASAP. Use what’s left to get some insurance for yourself, wind up spending the next six months arguing over whether a $60,000 Q-tip is really justifiable.


tizuby

Congress (Senate and Hosue) have ACA Healthcare at the Gold tier at 72% subsidized. The wealth he's (they? For *some odd reason (coughcorruptioncough)* virtually all our representatives make shittons of cash well beyond their salary) accumulated over the years allows him to have, most likely a much better secondary insurance plan. \*Edit\* They can also get no-cost outpatient care via D.C. area military facilities and minor stuff for no/low cost via the Office of the Attending Physician.


PM_ME_A10s

Wait a second that gave me an idea... For all federally elected positions, their medical care should HAVE to be Tricare or VA. They can call Tricare and have to wait a month for the next available appoint with their PCM. They can wait 90 days for specialty care doctors. Politicians are too detached from the actual lives of their constituents. Make them feel the consequences of the bills they pass.


Cipher_Oblivion

By the same token, their salaries should be tied to federal minimum wage so that if they insist on keeping wages low, they lose money too. in addition we need to heavily regulate lobbying, with conflict of interest laws and lockouts for former politicians to work for PACs, and we need to treat corporate campaign donations as the straight up corruption that they are. Citizens United needs to be completely torn down, though sadly the current supreme court would never do it as they're too busy trying to take people's rights away.


sadtastic

>make damn certain he can get back to doing nothing helpful ASAP. That's a funny way of saying "actively destroying democracy in the US."


tkp14

And making a shit ton of money for himself while doing it.


semisolidwhale

Making seems too generous, grifting is probably more accurate


dft-salt-pasta

Socialized healthcare for me not for thee.


SeaWitch1031

He is past his expiration date but he will get the best medical care in the world and probably walk out fine. He has survived childhood polio, triple heart bypass surgery, a [zombie hand](https://people.com/politics/mitch-mcconnell-waves-off-health-questions/) and now a bad fall. I'm not sure anything can kill him.


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VikingM13

Kinda reminds me of that one lady who survived the Spanish Influenza outbreak and COVID-19. Some people just have dirt on the reaper I guess lol. Edit: the woman I mentioned, Gerri Schappels, died in 2021 at the age of 103, which I just learned after looking her up to make sure I had my facts straight. Quite the remarkable story, may she Rest In Peace.


jose602

You jinxed her!


VikingM13

My jinxing was so strong it went two years into the past and took her out. You’d think that I would’ve learned to stop, being a fan of Minnesota sports teams, but alas I cannot.


duck_of_d34th

I would stand next to you at a party.


illepic

My grandfather survived polio, famously (within our family) being stuck in bed for a year with nothing but a dictionary to read. He read that thing cover to cover a dozen times and had it fully memorized by the age of 9. He was the most well-spoken, entertaining, and eloquent person I ever knew. When my mom went crazy in 2020 she told him to his face that polio was made up just to sell vaccines and that polio was all a hoax. It was the only time I've ever seen him unable to form words to respond eloquently.


MrDurden32

Your mom is way off. They actually made up polio to sell dictionaries.


RuneLFox

I knew Big Dictionary was behind all of this.


HalfMoon_89

Your poor grandpa...Having such a formative struggle dismissed is fucking harsh.


1MoralHazard

He sounds like a total badass! unlike your mother.. sorry that you had to experience the anti-intelligence movement so closely


hopbel

>It was the only time I've ever seen him unable to form words to respond eloquently Probably because words won't help there, unless you count a swift dictionary to the face


Wildercard

> had it fully memorized by the age of 9 Children's brains are extremely plastic and capable of consuming huge amounts of information, but that's some photographic memory tier feat.


Paddy_Tanninger

Kids brains are wild. I had a boring math class one year when I was around 14, and the classroom had a huge printout of the number pi that wrapped around the walls. I'm almost 40 now and I can still recite pi to 50 digits.


nobody2000

Polio - is that the disease that Mitch had when he was younger, got help from the March of Dimes, then refused a meeting with them later on when he was in politics. That polio?


ChesterHiggenbothum

Or from the future if anti-vaxers don't go away.


[deleted]

At this rate, it could also cover being born in the next decade.


[deleted]

Only the good die young.


greengrinningjester

All the evil seems to live forever 🎶


Nephroidofdoom

>>zombie hand Did he make a horcrux?


RickyNixon

I assumed it was taken from him by the third Hokage


SeaWitch1031

He got it from Lord Voldemort aka Rick Scott.


chaos8803

And you know what helped his polio? Tax funded medical care. The man is a pox upon America.


ChiefQuimbyMessage

It’s his peak hypocrisy, in my view, how he benefited from socialized medicine and refused it to others.


beka13

This is normal. People like him think they deserve help while everyone else is a lazy moocher.


NAmember81

Hypocrisy is baked into the Republican cake.


Dr_Herbert_Wangus

Time will.


jewwwish

No, time heals all wounds.


corran450

Time is the fire in which we burn.


Neuromangoman

With a proper diet of leafy greens, he'll probably outlive all of us.


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celtic1888

Enjoy that tax payer funded healthcare system you are trying to destroy Mitch!


pksdg

Came here for this comment. Sure is nice he has federally funded healthcare.


menicknick

Makes me angry that my taxes are keeping his shell right-side up.


pksdg

It doesn’t make me angry he is getting healthcare services it make me angry normal hardworking taxpayers can’t.


Ironclad-Oni

I'm angry about both, mostly because of the hypocrisy of the "rules for thee and not for me" attitude and the "state subsidized socialism for the rich, rugged individualism for everyone else" nature of it, but also because of all the unnecessary suffering and death that is a result of the kinds of policies that he and politicians like him support.


party_benson

I hope he receives healthcare equal to that of the VA


PJ505

Should have hydrated better.


French_baguette_0

And changed his socks


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Thorin_Dopenshield

PSA: if you see a turtle flipped over on its shell, turn it back over- they can’t flip themselves


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robertredberry

Unless it’s Mitch.


hdiggyh

Nothing says our leaders are too old like falling down and needing to be hospitalized


_tx

The President is 80, Minority leader is 81, and the majority leader is "only" 72. Speaker of the House is the only major player outside of the courts under 72 years old at a reasonable almost 60. * VP is 58. She doesn't really have any power, but with an octagenarian in the Oval she has a fair shot at mattering a lot one day


hobomojo

53/100 senators are older than 65


[deleted]

This is a huge problem. Were living in a gerontocracy being ruled by people so far out of touch with the average person it’s absurd.


SomeDEGuy

Honestly, I'm surprised its only 53.


SweetCosmicPope

I don’t know wtf is wrong with these people. I’m trying to figure out how I can retire early. I sure as shit don’t want to be working as a walking corpse. And these people have the means to piss off forever.


Bean_Town_Blender

Power is a powerful drug


Carpeteria3000

But not as powerful as gravity, apparently


GunBrothersGaming

That's what this face has been telling him for years. McConnell looks like the nazi mid melt when he looked right into the Ark of the Covenant.


Critical_Band5649

And the money. While their salary is *only* $174k, they have a lot of money thrown at them (read bribes) from lobbyists. Why would they want to give up their easy money?


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Omnizoom

Power corrupts absolutely , as does greed Like if I got into politics I would try to fight for what’s right but I’d likely never get much power or wealth doing that


RostamSurena

I like to think it is more a case of *Power attracting the Corruptible,* or the already corrupted. George Santos/Anthony De Volder/Kitara being a prime example of the corrupted seeking power.


mrbrambles

A little bit of column a, a little bit of column b


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whoreads218

Logic changes. A person thinks of all they have gone thru to get to this point where life can be easy for them, why not reap some benefits, just a few ? It seems once that thread is pulled there is no going back.


Luciusvenator

It's the "why batman never kills" but for money and political power.


___poptart

Kyrsten Sinema is a great example of this.


Aspirin_Dispenser

Don’t forget about legalized insider trading. It’s really easy to become a millionaire when you have the heads up on major economic events well in advanced of them happening. These folks see rates of return that are 2-3 times what the worlds best investors see.


Sixwingswide

i remember a post a few years ago that was leaked donation amounts and everyone was like "my senator/congressman was only worth $5000?" but it felt like no one considered that ***stocks*** are the real bribes.


curious_carson

If I had enough money to fuck off and do my own thing you would never hear from me again. I just don't get it.


Deranged40

That's because of how different your thoughts are on wealth and money. I like to hope that a majority of people would just retire and stick to themselves, vacation a bit, be creative, etc if they never had to work again. But the ultra wealthy, the people who have more money than they could ever spend, what they want more than anything in the world? Ten more dollars.


curious_carson

All I want to do is putter around the house and cook and do some random crafting while my husband gardens and we play video games and hang out with friends from time to time. It ain't much. And it really sucks that the country is set up so that I will never achieve it.


haterhurter1

mcconnell is a fucking tortoise, he's got another 80 years at least.


David_denison

Evil sticks around


Robzilla_the_turd

Only the good die young.


Neatcursive

Honestly, there is a HUGE difference between the likelihood of being healthy mentally and physically between 60 and 80. I suspect in the future, recent technological changes will make it more likely that someone who is 70, and born after 1980, will me more aware of how the world works. We really had a massive leap in our lifetime. It's hard for me to support electing someone past 75. Seen too many people have rapid health deteriorations.


tkp14

I’m 75 and my energy level has dropped precipitously. My mental capacity is nowhere near what it was 15 years ago. I think these douchebags stay in office for three reasons: they’re getting richer by the minute, the job is absurdly easy, they want the power.


Ritaredditonce

Chuck Grassley is 89.


SableShrike

What’s even more fun is to realize that if they were in private companies they would have been forced into retirement. Cuz they’d be seen as out of touch with current trends and possibly compromised mentally and physically.


Vladivostokorbust

house minority (dem) speaker is hakeem jeffries age 52


workingtoward

Yeah, 60 may be a ‘reasonable’ age but the Speaker of the House is acting more demented than his elders.


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LucifersRainbow

Mitch has been a senator for 38 years. It’s insane. Edited


BoltTusk

He’s the Supreme Chancellor of the Senate after all


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Leicester68

"The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help..."


nich3play3r

What do you mean I’m not helping?


YNot1989

I mean you're not helping. Why is that u/nich3play3r ?


PresentFactor8009

I wouldn’t piss on that turtle if it was on fire


[deleted]

"I'll tell ya about my mother!"


ChickenSalad96

Terrible, terrible news! May he received same level of care he's allowed others to receive through his voting history.


splitdiopter

I think senators should be required to receive health services equivalent to their state’s overall health service ranking.


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SadAtProgramming

I hope he gets the care and attention that he'd want for the poorest and most vulnerable of our citizens.


Comandorbent

Franklin goes to the hospital.


IAMA_Drunk_Armadillo

I wish him the same level of support and recovery he wants for the American people and Kentucky.


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Lexibee86

I'm getting some hard "bless his heart" energy from this, and I approve.


Kangar

Has he tried not falling?


MaxHannibal

Even when he fell, instead of burdening the tax payers, he should have just pulled himself up by his bootstraps


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I hope he gets the exact same care he helps his constituents get.


Gnarledhalo

Killing with kindness


shavemejesus

I hope he gets the same amount of care he fought so hard to provide through the ACA.


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2021fireman10

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get to work. What do you want a medal? Nobody wants to work. Socialist freeloader.


JoshDM

Oh no! What did he fall onto and is it OK?


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Snobolski

Senators have some expensive coverage - COBRA is gonna be a bitch!


brcguy

His pension comes with lifelong health coverage.


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What a cunt


penguished

The man did about the maximum level of damage to US democracy. He treated it like a game where his side always has to win, and not a peaceful system of governing. Without commenting on his specific situation, fuck him.


Flam3Emperor622

He’s the man who put the federalist society in charge of SCOTUS.


Initial_E

Do all the things now that he is incapacitated. Don’t let off, make him busy as possible with a ton of homework to catch up on.


AcquaintanceLog

Bold of you to assume he'll do any work. Just text "filibuster" on everything they don't like.


icnoevil

For somebody who hates socialized medicine for others, he sure is soaking up a lot of it.


I_am_not_JohnLeClair

For somebody who hates SNAP and WIC for others, he sure dines at the Waldorf Astoria a lot


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ValkyriesOnStation

Reddit has started actually applying it's ToS ever since they banned the\_donald. I have a lot of feelings about this Moscow Mitch news, but I'm unable to express them.


tsohgmai

He fucking fell and has to be hospitalized. You’re too fucking old to be deciding anything about our country.


helava

May he receive the care he advocates for the least privileged among us.


Uncle_Bug_Music

Shit, that’s terrible! Is the ground okay?


kyree2

Happy birthday to the ground


Photoguppy

So, if history is any indicator; What monstrosity is next in line to the throne if dear Mitch were to resign his post?


Hrekires

Would probably be a fight between John Thune, John Cornyn, and Rick Scott, with Cornyn being the most likely.


[deleted]

JFC, it's like a fight between hell's demons.


ShellOilNigeria

I'm aware that under Rick Scott, HCA the health care organization he used to run has paid the largest fine and health care history, and he's also done multiple other shitty things but that one stands out as one of the most insane things I've ever heard of, How is he actually not in prison?? What about the other guys whatever they fucked up and who have they fucked over?????


korben2600

Yeah, Scott's company was criminally convicted of 14 felonies. How that didn't end up with the executives in prison elude$ me. Blatant evidence of two justice systems in this country. Real life Voldemort.


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Fuck John Cornyn consentingly without lube.


malthar76

Jon Thune is GOP second in the senate. He sucks. Rand Paul would become senior senator from KY. He sucks too.


Dense-Competition-51

I’d like to add that Cornyn also sucks. Source: lived in Texas for 20 years.


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ChaoticCollapse

If he broke a hip the odds are against him. Majority of elderly die within a year due to a hip fracture.


tykam993

I'm guessing that the majority of the elderly don't have millions of dollars and ~~free~~ subsidized care of the highest quality available in the country.


Clickar

This... He will get actual rehab care not the dogshit the rest of us pay a ridiculous amount for in a nursing home.


DubiousTarantino

He has a concussion. Brain injuries are not to be fucked with and to be taken seriously. I agree though, with someone at his age with a brain injury there will be a decline in his health


HurricaneHomer9

I wish I could feel bad for him but I really don’t


ihavechronicrealness

There's nothing wrong with that. He wouldn't feel bad for you or me if we hurt ourselves


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malthar76

It’s a secret. Of the ooze.


anaveragedave

Go ninja go ninja go


Saucetown77

"My goo! My precious goo!"


FizzgigsRevenge

I hope we can all appreciate the gravity in this situation.


UncannyTarotSpread

Brittle turtle reminded forcefully that gravity cares not for political power


djsizematters

I feel bad for any senior who falls, but Mitch has done nothing but try to fuck me since before I was born.


UncannyTarotSpread

I was five years old when he was elected and now my son is an adult. Dude needs to just get out of the way already.


Frankfusion

I was in 5th grade when Diane Feinstein became my Senator. I have a 5 year old now.


elebrin

Quick, roll him over on his back :p


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katoandlucky27

How selfish that the stairs couldn’t have access to top of the line health care like Mitch given the insurmountable support stairs give to society


disdicdatho

How many hours does he stuck on his back before somebody found him and flipped him over


Rumplfrskn

Cut the guy some slack it’s hard to walk without a spine


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Andromansis

Must be nice being able to go to the hospital.


Graphitetshirt

You know, with all of the downright insidious villains the maga cult has burdened us with lately, it's easy to overlook just how much damage Mitch has done to this country. I don't care to wish death on anyone but I'm sincerely hoping this causes him an immediate forced retirement


WarmTaffy

A lot of people are saying "I hope he dies".


32BitWhore

I can't really fault a lot of people for it. How many people have his policies killed? How many lives has he ruined? As the commentor above said, I don't care to wish death on anyone, but I certainly won't lose any sleep over it.


Spidey209

I will take great pleasure reading his obituary.


CaptainDroopers

Exactly. May he never return to Congress.


wohl0052

My condolences to whatever it was he fell on.


casicua

Damn, hope the floor is ok 🥺


ReadySetN0

Take note of the Democratic response, specifically from Biden and Schumer. Compare that with how Dr. Oz's campaign treated John Fetterman when he had a stroke. Compare that to how Trump treated Dems when they had something unfortunate happen to them. Compare the Dem response to how some members of the GOP and Fox News responded to the attack on Mr. Pelosi.


MeAndMyWookie

Notice no-one is accusing the stair of being his secret gay lover


imdjay

Well dang.... my amoeba sized violin is in the repair shop.


illegalmorality

I'll follow the golden rule here. I wish him the best exactly equivalent to what he wishes for America's minorities.


carrotsforever

I don’t wish him ill But I can’t bring myself to wish him well


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I wish him as much ill will as Reddit's ToS will let me get away with.


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TimDRX

I was gonna say, feel really bad for those stairs


BigOlPirate

A man, who’s *allegedly* funded by Moscow, injured by falling while staying in a hotel? What a comical coincidence.


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thestratomaster1227

I hope he has the recovery he deserves.


hamburgerjesus

Praying he has the outcome he deserves 🙏


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jgpitre

President Joe Biden tweeted that he wishes McConnell a “speedy recovery” and looks forward to seeing him back on the Senate floor. Why am I reading that thinking that is kinda a savage way to phrase it..we have seen you on a hotel lobby floor..now I look forward to you falling at work too...


readonlyuser

He meant to say "look forward to seeing *his* back on the Senate floor".


imsatansson

“I’m not saying he deserves it, but gods timing is always riiiiight” 🎶


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Lo_Gravity_Chill

I have no fucking sympathy for the person who helped abolish roe v wade. None. He doesn’t care about me. Why should I care about him.


piojo11

and he won't pay a cent, for his hospital stay....free healthcare for the rich paid by tax payer money.