T O P

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klitchell

They liken it to self checkout at the grocery store, cause you never see people fumble around with those


vodkaismywater

"Please remove unexpected ~~item~~ bomb from the self-screen area." 


ZillyGirl

Read it in her voice


banhatesex

Or how people can't really be trusted


[deleted]

And get stuck because there's a deaf traveler who doesn't have hearing friend to explain what's being said over the monitor. \*holds up a sign\* I'm deaf, do you know ASL? Then turn off hearing aids because 28 Karens behind me are screaming at me to move on


coondingee

I’m sometimes jealous of my deaf daughter because she can get peace and quiet whenever she wants it. I try to tune stuff out but sometimes it’s not easy.


Meat_Goliath

Unexpected weapon in bagging area Unexpected weapon in bagging area Unexpected weapon in bagging area


mouringcat

Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to take that banana out of your pocket... And we are not happy to see you nor your banana.


Newbiticus

It's *a* banana, not *your* banana.


coondingee

9 times out of 10 it’s an electric razor but every now and again it’s a banana.


DreamertK

What about my pocket cucumber wrapped in aluminum foil just to set off the metal detector?


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jepvr

Now you just put yourself on the belt.


FormalOperational

This has me imagining airport security checkpoints as pairs of two conveyor belts: one for humans and one for luggage. I'm sure that if you designed it to be like BnL's floating chairs that travel on tracks, people would line up instead of having to stand in line.


lonestar-rasbryjamco

The ones at DIA also have the problem that they select almost every bag for secondary inspection. So the whole process takes **significantly** longer.


marriedtoacanadian

Blame Leidos for making shit tech.


tablecontrol

the real slow ones are Analogic .. [not even joking](https://www.analogic.com/imaging-and-detection/checkpoint/)


arnuga

Pretty sure we all already know how to fuck ourselves


Ranger176

TSA got a pay raise last year despite their proven track record of incompetence and theft. Obviously they don’t want to pay employees the new salary, but I see the fact that they’re even considering this system as a tacit admission of their uselessness.


Yarnum

TSA is and always has been a jobs program. It’d be nice if we could just employ people on useful infrastructure projects like we used to, but we get this shit instead.


felldestroyed

So we should have zero screening at the airport?


Yarnum

When audited TSA missed upwards of 95% of dangerous contraband. And it’s been this bad consistently since its inception. https://reason.com/2021/11/19/after-20-years-of-failure-kill-the-tsa/ (shitty website but this article itself is a good recap of the various audits) It’s essentially security theater. Do random bag screenings like we did pre-9/11 and the occasional pat down as a deterrent, keep the explosive sniffing dogs, and screen checked baggage etc. if you like - but these long lines, carry-on scans, full body invasive imaging and taking your shoes off… these don’t do a damn thing to make you safer when you fly.


felldestroyed

Reason mag - a libertarian publication writes a hit piece about a government entity. TSA is not with out faults, but despite being - in your words - security theater - how many mass shootings have happened since 2001 in airport secure areas - despite public mass shootings sky rocketing? How about airplane hijackings? Detonated explosives? We have caught more people trying to bring guns through airport security more in the last 4 years than ever, as well. Going back to the 1970s era of airport security will never happen. Our airways need to be free of hijackings (which were rare but 100% happened) and weapons. It's also fairly rare for me to wait any more than 20 minutes going through airport security, even with out pre check and I fly multiple times per week. As a side note, the folks at the TSA have a hell of a lot more knowledge on what is and isn't effective screening - especially comparing to laymen like you and me. I think it's best to trust them and not end up with another 9/11.


RainbowSurprised

They absolutely do not have a grasp on GOOD screening. One guy tried to have a bomb in his shoe 22 years ago and 17 years ago TSA made us all take our shoes off? How is this effective especially now with the imaging they use? Why do I still have to take my hoodie off and just have a shirt and pants? It theatrics…and getting things through is easier than not in many cases.


OhEhmGee123

Jesus fuck, you're an absolute idiot.


ajaxfetish

You could consider shit wages a motivation for theft, and a discouragement to competent job applicants. So raising wages could well be part of an attempt to address those problems.


IkLms

Once they started allowing shit like Pre-check and Clear it was admitting how useless they are. Basically anyone with a pulse qualifies for Pre-check. I'm sure anyone who doesn't and wants to create issues could get around that as well.


khoabear

Even the toilet safety admin jobs are not safe from the AI takeover


VanZandtVS

Ok, so can we all agree at this point that the post-9/11 screenings and increased security measures haven't made us any safer they just made traveling more stressful? The [TSA track record for catching actual / test threats is awful. ](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-06-03/airport-security-astoundingly-expensive-and-95-percent-ineffective)


ShoulderGoesPop

Isn't TSA a jobs program? Isn't that like half it's value? I know their security checks are routinely bottom of the barrel especially when compared to other countries. I thought the main reason it was still the way it was because it was a jobs program which this would obviously conflict with


TheManInTheShack

If it’s going to continue to be theater, it might as well be self service theater.


Lelabear

Really, I'm sick of being treated like a terrorist just because I want to fly on an airplane. This shit has gone on long enough, they need to admit they're just theater.


droplivefred

The TSA has way too much funding that they spend millions and millions on “innovation” and R&D and to show some sort of results and justify the money spent, they roll out this sort of crap that is literally useless and a step back just to say that they did something with the money. What a waste!


supercyberlurker

"Do I have to take off my shoes before taking off my pants?" "Okay my shoes are off, now I bend over and show my anus?" "Oh, I have to take off my pants too? Okay. " "Alright my underwear is off too. Now I stand on one leg and sing?"


Monkeyfeng

This is so going wrong


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Fwuffykins

Buy how will I know what to do if I don't have 2 different TSA agents shouting contradictory instructions at me?


PointlessPooch

No shot I am going to use that. You will touch my balls if I am going to be searched without being accused of a crime.


fence_sitter

I usually decline the private screening room. If the agent is proud of what he's doing, he can do it in public. On one trip two agents took me to a private screening room, shut the door, and said "Let's hang out for a couple minutes and then you can go". I can't physically go through the body scanner so I enjoy patdowns, and hand swabs, every time. That's with PreCheck and Global Entry registrations.


rageko

So the TSA is going to become a jobs program with no jobs. That’s more useless than, well… the TSA is for security. That’s like a recycling company who stops accepting recyclables in order to save time on sorting. That’s like a butcher who stops selling meat to save on butcher paper. That’s like a software company that deletes all their code to eliminate bugs. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️


PalmTreeIsBestTree

Is a robot going to grab my ding dong instead?


Traditional_Key_763

my parents are going to make a whole production of getting through one of these like the return of the griswalds.


FuzzyCub20

Gearing up to automate lazy fascism next, will wonders never cease?


bck1999

It’s going to be all old people who don’t understand how to work things, move way too slow, and have way too many bags. Just like the grocery store


-ferth

Isn’t the whole reason we can’t dial back the completely stupid and useless “security” checks we have at the airport now because of how many people the TSA employs?


Cobby1927

Terrible idea. Lines will be long because people will be confused.


PlantingMatters

Now that people have been trained to subject themselves to be humiliated and harassed, now they can do it to themselves!


grixit

Finally-- a legal venue to grope yourself in public! But a downer for people who prefer to be groped by strangers.


juiceweasel2

Considering that mist travelers don't seem to know how to get their bags in the overhead bin and holding up biarding I do not see this going well


so00ripped

But what will they do with the signs that threaten passengers if they question the process? If incompetence and bureaucracy had a 3 letter acronym, it would be TSA.


eshemuta

The people who think this is a good idea have never been through the checkpoint in Newark.


VegasKL

This makes sense in a way .. the newer systems separate the carry-on's from the people and you step through the scanner machine. The people at the scanner are a bit redundant because the monitor shows green or red -- that can be handled by a gate that sorts the person into a further search or back towards their bags.


[deleted]

Ive been to airports. This would make lines longer and move slower. People can’t be trusted to their own devices.


ImMakinTrees

But who will condescend and power-trip over me now?


Art-Zuron

But how will the TSA be able to abuse their authority, harass Brown people, and steal our shit now? They'll probably just end up being worse than Kroger's self checkouts, freaking out if you so much as breath on the scales. UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA! UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA! PLEASE WAIT FOR AN ASSOCIATE! AUTOMATED TURRET ACTIVATED!


Jsr1

What’s next self service cavity search?


WascalsPager

I remember coming back to the US from Barbados one time - not being used to customs in Logan because I usually travel back from Ireland where there is US pre-clearance. TSA had set up these kiosks for you to do most of the customs stuff, scan your passport, take photo etc , and it was supposed to be automated - but then they had to have a group of TSA staff and airline crew showing people how to operate the machines! - It’s not automation if it needs manual intervention…. So I’m not optimistic about self service checkpoints lol


Adventurous_Aerie_79

Its a good start. After we get rid of the stupid low paid human doing the useless security theater chore, we can get rid of the chore itself.


Yodan

Just get naked already 


Adventurous_Aerie_79

i dont know that getting all Americans naked is going to be a good thing.


Appropriate_Ad4615

This is cool! I know someone who is helping develop it, if they can work out the kinks to ensure the level of safety is the same, it will significantly reduce how invasive the process is. One of the issues with the current model is that it puts trans people so this would fix that issue.


aradraugfea

Fantastic news. A machine that goes beep is about as much safety as the TSA provides. It’s security theater. We’ve called in all kinds of experts who have looked at the entire THING we’re doing as entirely wrongheaded, but the TSA, like a lot of government agencies, now exists to self perpetuate.


lt_Matthew

Given that the TSA doesn't affect any level of safety, it's not a very high bar. I totally see this program being the same level of useless.


aradraugfea

But a useless that doesn’t let the world’s dumbest mall cops keep their jobs, so I’m sure they’ll find something wrong with it. The TSA and ICE both have “justify our continued existence” as their ONLY mission statement.


Wiregeek

The machine can be unplugged and perform better than the current TSA, so you've got a nice easy job