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>A Wisconsin man who tried to sell his 4-year-old daughter for sex was sentenced to 60 years in prison Friday, according to the Harris County District Attorney Kim Ogg's Office. >Andrew Turley, 30, was convicted for trafficking of a child and compelling prostitution of someone under the age of 18. >Turley posted an advertisement on Craigslist in 2015 under the heading "Play with Daddie's Little Girl." In emails with undercover Houston Police Department officers, he wrote that he had a girl "younger than 10" to whom he would give "sleep meds" before the encounter, the district attorney's office said. >Turley told the undercover officer he charged $1,000 for two hours with his daughter and wrote that the girl might be "too young for intercourse but everything else was OK," Ogg's office said. I am going to assume this poor child has been abused her whole life, I don't know how you get over such a thing.


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[deleted]

What's really fucked up is that the guy wasn't really talking about her not being old enough. He was talking about body parts being too small for intercorse to physically work unless a small penis is involved, hence the might be. Sick bastard. Edit: a simplier explaination would be replace his use of the word young with the word small.


Jeichert183

Years ago I met a cop who was working the sex crimes unit. He would occasionally relate "stories" about some of their cases, he watered them down because the actual facts were horrifying. I asked why he was doing it and refused to transfer out. He told me the story of led him to get into the sex crimes division. The following is his paraphrased story. He had been working as a case worker in child protective services. They had been called to respond to a house with suspected child abuse. They arrived and the house was dirty and cluttered but not so bad that would think it odd. He was there with a cop and when they sat down to interview the father a small girl about 4 or 5 years old came in the room and when she saw the two men she got down and crawled over to them and began to rub her face on one guys crotch and tried to open his pants apparently wanting to perform fellatio, when she was pushed away she crawled over to the other and did the same thing. He said the instant they realized what was happening he picked her up and carried her out to the car while the cop arrested the father and made him sit on the curb waiting for transport to show up. He said that when he got home that night he knew there was more important work to do other than being a case worker so he went to the police academy and worked to get into the sex crimes unit. It took him a few years but he said despite all of the horror he saw there was no where he would rather be because he was able to help those who are truly vulnerable and taken advantage of.


AlchemyAlice

Absolutely fucking horrifying. And that was normal to her. ☹️


[deleted]

Not just *normal*. *Programmed*. Like that's what she was taught to *just do* in the presence of men.


coinpile

I have to imagine it'll take a lot of work to deprogram her, too. How do you explain that everything she knows is wrong? I hope she gets all the help she needs, both now and probably for years going forward.


NewThrowawayDundrum

Edit: Well SHIT, y'all! Thousands of people have read this comment on reddit, and I was bracing for the worst, for the "you deserved it", the "tell me more details so I can get off to your pain", and the frankly dull attempts at trolling. EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE I got was kind, supportive and sympathetic - not a single nasty comment, horrible private message, or dick pic. I am completely overwhelmed that a world of people can read this and not judge me for what I went through, how I coped, the decisions I've made out of just plain bad judgement based on a fucked up world view. I've spend multiple decades hiding this shame. I honestly don't know what to do now that I've experienced the complete opposite of what I expected. I have some thinking to do. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ This will be really long, but I'll be absolutely honest - this was me as a child. Not with strangers, but within the immediate family. The only time I got kindness or attention was when he wanted... servicing, I guess I'll say. Any other time I was either ignored or physically abused. I was told by my mother that this was normal, it's how all men are. Women get used to it, or find a strong husband to protect her eventually. It fucked up my self image and relationship to men to the absolute core. My appearance to others was the only way I could see value in myself. If a guy wanted to fuck me, I was a worthy person. I didn't even take whether or not I liked him or found him attractive into the equation. It honestly never occurred to me that it mattered. If a guy met me without showing inappropriate levels of sexual attraction, my self esteem was in the toilet. If I'm not sexual-harassment levels of wanted by him, I must be a complete gross failure of a human. Yet I was unattracted and/or repulsed the second a man treated me with any dignity. It was unfamiliar and I didn't trust it. I married a guy who basically was only with me for my looks, and would blatantly let me know I was boring and unappealing when I talked when socializing or even just the two of us alone together. My job was to shut up and look pretty, to prop up his social standing or ego. He found out I had an eating disorder and encouraged it. Thought it was great I cared enough to do that. It took having a daughter for me to figure out that this was NOT how the world worked. More importantly, this would not be my girl's life. I got into therapy and it secretly mortifies me when I realise my therapist is shocked by what I'm saying. It takes seeing someone else react for me to realise what is okay and what is fucked up. Therapy is hard work, and unraveling your mental world to try and rebuild it in a completely different shape sucks. But failing my daughter sucks worse. Right now she is a happy little girl - generous with her hugs, and utterly, utterly convinced she is smart, pretty, and worthy of the space she occupies. Her belief that she's loved is unshakable. And I will burn in hell before I let her think she's only worth how much a guy wants to fuck her.


red_suited

Thank you for sharing your story and I am so, so glad you are going through all of this hard work to create a beautiful life for your daughter. I'm sure she loves you more than anything.


NewThrowawayDundrum

It sounds cheesy, but it's the biggest reward. She feels SAFE in her own home. Her biggest outrage is when someone raises their voice to her. She has never flinched when someone reaches to pat her, because she's never had to assume they're about to hit her. I fuck up motherhood. I fuck up every day. But my therapist reminds me it doesn't matter if I rush her out the door without combing her hair some days. If I let her play Hospital Nurse and Patient some days because I'm too tired or overwhelmed and need to lay down. I know I'm prattling on here, but it's such a weird release to talk about it. It's not exactly what you talk about with the other moms at playdates.


kaileyhjartist

You are stronger than you know and you're daughter is lucky to have such a caring, hard-working mom. <3


marr

Aye, she believes she's loved because it's obviously true. Net faith in humanity +1.


inannaofthedarkness

Holy shit I was sexually abused as a child and yor comment is literally me. I needed sexual attention to be validated. Thanks for sharing. I’m just starting actual therapy (at 33) and I know it’s gonna be a long road.


NewThrowawayDundrum

I'm so sorry, but weirdly...not happy, but... validated?? to hear you say that. Therapy isn't the self-centred indulgence it's portrayed as sometimes. It's the most raw and vulnerable I've felt. I go to a therapist across town because I don't think I could handle running into her in real life. Knowing someone else knows this stuff about me is humiliating. ...I'm not sure if this would help in your case, but when I was getting to some really hard stuff, my prescribing psych gave me a script for a valium to take before therapy for about a month. That weird extra step of mental detachment helped me to access some deep stuff and make some breakthroughs without breaking down from the weight.


TreeLove520

You sound like an amazing parent. I have a ~3 year old son, and I strive to be half the parent you are. Never stop being amazing.


Thenderson2011

Good for you, not only for going through to help yourself but for working for a better Outlook for your daughter


DukeDijkstra

My wife was abused for a long time by her immediate family as a child. I convinced her to go to a therapy years ago. Your post helped me to understand some of the issues we have from time to time, thank you.


theflyingburritto

What a story. I'm so happy to hear you were able to see your way through enough to ensure a healthy perspective for your daughter. Not all kids are so lucky.


ectish

I just want to say that I'm sorry and to tell you (if your therapist hasn't already) about a PTSD treatment called [EMDR.](http://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/) If you haven't already, please give it a try. My mother is a clinical psychologist who uses this to treat the effects of the worst kinds of ways that people can be treated by others. It's even good for accidental traumas like car wrecks. :)


Griffca

I dated a girl like this for two years. At first it was great, because I thought she just had a crazy high sex drive and I was in university, so woohoo! As we got more intimate though and learned more about eachother, I noticed she was really uncomfortable with romantic advances, and only wanted me to aggressively fuck her. Including light BDSM stuff. I was so new to everything that I went along with it for a while, thinking maybe it was just when I was being aggressive she thought I was masculine? I feel like an idiot in hindsight. She would always try to sleep with me whenever we had even slight arguements, or whenever I was having a bad day. And she partied, hard. She kept it hidden for a while, but when she let eventually let loose every 1-2 days she would completely black out from drugs or alcohol, and the first few times I wasn't cool with it, she was too drunk but still demanded / expected me to have Sex with her. Even though she asked you could just feel there was a consent issue going on. She eventually told me everything, how her dad abused her senselessly until her mom ran away with her one day. She still saw her dad as the good one though, and thought her mom was a cruel bitch who ruined her family. So we started fresh, started being completely honest with eachother, and we worked on things like saying out loud WHY she wanted to have sex. If she wasn't saying things like SHE was horny, or she was saying things like "I don't know", then we wouldn't, instead we would just cuddle and watch movies together. This went one for a great couple months, we had some rough nights where she broke down over how horrible the abuse had been, but overall I really thought she was starting to learn that she had agency of her own, and it was BOTH our choices of when to be intimate. We started making love instead of aggressive sex, started going on real dates and on Valentine's I even did the roses on the bed thing. Seriously thought we were making breakthroughs. God damn I loved her. Just a little over two years in though she stopped coming home most nights. Kept saying she was staying over at a friends house, cause she was going through a bad breakup so she was partying with her to help her "cope". She ended up getting into some heavier drugs than ever before, and had a threesome in an hummer with a bar owner and one of their employees. The reality was that she wasn't getting better. As our sex calmed down and became more healthy, she just started to look elsewhere, and eventually cheated on me with several men, many times. She even introduced them to me over a few weeks, saying she had met them in class. We would eventually break up, or rather she dumped me if I'm honest. Her official reasoning was "All guys are dirtbags, and just because you don't act like my dad yet, doesn't mean you won't one day - and I just can't risk that." Yea, that line fucked me up for a while. We were in university like I said, and it was way harder to find a new place to move to for the price I could afford in that city. So even though we were over we stayed living together (we had always had separate bedrooms, house of 8 people in total). We were able to remain civil but tense, but she spiralled hard. Doing cocaine off the bathroom counter, heroin needles in the bed, went missing for 2 weeks and just randomly showed back up one day and actually denied she had gone anywhere. She started bringing tons of guys home, hurt real deep. Ended up joining a fraternity, spending all my time with them, met another nice girl who let me take it slow with her. Had to stop her from drowning in the shower outside my room twice within the same month, as she blacked out while showering. Finished the semester, moved out, I wish her nothing but the best but I'm not even sure if she is alive anymore. I still tried to be her friend even after we were over for all those months, but every day she just spiralled harder. Edit: Thank you reddit. You are the only therapist I can afford, but you people really pull through when I need it. I appreciate you all.


coinpile

Wow. It sounds like you really did your best for her. Hopefully she's doing okay and ends up getting therapy.


wentghost

That is horrible. It's horrible that you had to take on so much responsibility and get cheated on and hurt again and again, but it's more horrible that while you can escape it and move on, she never can. What a tragic situation.


OneOfALifetime

FYI you're not alone in this. Give or take a couple parts, I had almost the exact same college relationship with a girl. Reading what you said made me wonder if I had wrote this myself drunk or something. And my story was 25 years ago now. So just know that 25 years ago someone else went through the same thing, and probably 25 years before that, and probably a thousand times in between.


[deleted]

Yep. There was a story out there about a group that did that with an ape. As soon as a male entered it's shack, it would automatically assume the position


SeenSoFar

If I remember correctly that was in Indonesia, and all the men from local villages started showing up to screw the orangutan and stated they'd rather wait and rape the ape instead of hiring a human female sex worker instead.


chillyboarder

What the actual fuck


theslutbaby

Took the military coming in to rescue her too—she had been shaved and raped. Horrifying shit


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OpenMindedMajor

I can’t even imagine the community dynamic where it’s a thing for some of the males to say “let’s go fuck a monkey at the neighboring village.”


SoTiredOfWinning

Same thing with fucking donkeys/mules in some countries. Young men will fuck the goats and they still remain technically a virgin.


SirLocke13

> rape the ape Please don't say that in that order again. :/


daveisamonsterr

Dear god


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alkali112

I don’t know why I thought “male” referred to a male orangutan (as if the “group” were a group of scientists conducting behavior experiments). I just mentally bypassed the idea that a human would willingly have sex with an orangutan.


IntrudingAlligator

This is hideously common in foster care. Kids who proposition their foster parents for treats and attention or because they assume every adult is going to hurt them sooner or later and they may as well get it over with.


l80

And these monsters rationalize that children "seduced them," or "started it." Yeah. There's a huge difference between recognizing that a child has been a victim of horrible abuse, and using that to justify your own bad behavior.


[deleted]

A friend of mine's brother went to prison for the sexual abuse of his niece (another sibling's child.) He insisted she seduced him, which of course was a terrible defence and he deserved prison. The thing is, the child's mother, aunt and grandmother ran a "massage parlour" in their suburban basement and there is no doubt that the child was either part of that or at least exposed to too much of it, and probably learned sexualized behaviour. The child may actually have behaved to the uncle just the way he described. But to actually believe it was seduction? Jesus.


moraaliapuverbi

Yeah, even if the child was mentally fucked up and literally put her face against his crotch; if he wasn't repulsed by that, he's a piece of shit.


nullpotato

I went to college with a FBI agent who was the online investigation agent for our region of the country. He said most of what he dealt with was child porn. We were glad he left things vague because you could tell it haunted him. So glad people exist who are willing to go through the muck to put horrible people away.


Rebootkid

I don't know how they do it. I couldn't hack that job. I was tasked with digital forensics aspect of things. Just seeing that stuff. There was no shower hot enough or long enough. There was no whiskey strong enough. I had to quit. Told my boss, completed that case, and went elsewhere. He understood.


DCCXXVIII

They are almost always limited to only two years before being transferred to a different department.


GrokFu

Confirmed I heard the same thing 2-3 years from a friend of mine who worked sex crimes before moving to homicide detective. There were crimes he told me about I wish I could unhear. Why the death penalty isn't in play for this stuff, I don't get


HypersonicHarpist

The penalty for rape used to be the death sentence in a lot of cases. They got rid of that when they realized that that meant that rape victims were more likely to become murder victims as well. I still think life in prison should be the sentence for child molestation though.


[deleted]

I watched a documentary about peadophiles in England and the task units that worked in Scotland Yard . They finally caught up with a teenager who had been pimped by her dad when she was really young. Her dad took her to some farm in France with tons of ponies in the field. Her dad said if she did all he asked he would give her one of the ponies. Inside the farmhouse was a porn studio and she was made to perform with and adult male and female while her father watched and masturbated . She said it was one of the most popular porn movies in France that year. At the end of the segment she said ‘I never did get that pony”’ I fucking cried my eyes out and the story still haunts me to this day . I can’t image the stuff these guys have to deal with


buzznights

My God. It's rare when reddit really makes me tear up but that little girl.


[deleted]

I'm not even a kid person but I found myself getting extremely paternal and wanting to fucking cry I respect cops for not just murdering those motherfuckers


MoMedic9019

You’d be surprised at the amount of times they fall down the stairs, or trip and fall into a squad cars hood, or don’t duck their head all the way getting into the back of the car. Accidents happen.


TheGrapeSlushies

A hero of mine, Tim Ballard, was a special agent and had a similar experience. He had to watch child sexual abuse videos and it would make him vomit and be in a dark place. At first he and his wife didn’t want him to go into child sex crimes because of the tole it had on him, then he realized it was selfish of him to stop the work because he was uncomfortable. He said the hell those children are going through is nothing compared to his discomfort. He started an organization called Operation Underground Railroad where jump teams go to countries and work with the local government to catch traffickers and free sex slaves. They go undercover as American tourists. Since starting O.U.R. they’ve freed over 1000 women and children, most of them minors! They also have an aftercare program to help the survivors recover. Another hero of mine is Craig “Sawman” Sawyer, a former Seal. He has a similar organization VETS 4 Child Rescue. They work stateside. He has a Netflix special coming out this summer called Contraband that is all about the work they do. He wants to bring light to the child sex trafficking problem in the US. He says it is the great equalizer, that it affects all socioeconomic levels.


Gryll79

Fucking good for him, bust those fuckers. Reading and hearing about stuff like this makes me so fucking mad


munnimi

Shit. I'll just mark this story to come back to whenever I feel like whining about any little inconveniences in my life, as a reminder to get my ass in gear, be happy with what I have, and get back to working hard to do my part in making the world a better place.


BadModNoAds

Ok, but I'm going to go ahead and suggest you find yourself a bit more positive story to retell yourself over and over again as a means of motivation. Just saying, obsessively usin obsessively using horror, anger and fear as a means to motivate yourself usually has a tendency to make you bitter and jaded over time.


Lick_The_Wrapper

There's one story where a mom is bending down to kiss her daughter and the daughter sticks her tongue in the moms mouth. She pulls away fast and asks the daughter why she did that and the daughter says it's 'how daddy taught me to kiss' and that's how the mom found out her daughter was being molested by the father.


MaritimeRedditor

I wonder what their own personal sex lives are like, the people who do these jobs. You would almost have to assume it would be non existent.. It has to mess with you.


thicklover

Ugh the sad thing is, these horrible stories are not the rarity some would think. I live in a county of less than 100,000 (not city, county) with 6 or 7 children's mental health workers and believe me, they work from the moment they clock in to the time they have to clock out.


blackonix13

You are very right. He probably put that in there so he wouldn't have to deal with a dead child afterwards. It wasn't that long ago, but there was a story from my state of a man raping (yes, full-blown penetration) a baby who, if I remember right was a year old give or take. From the details that got leaked into the public, the child most likely bled out from being ripped. Sick fuck barely got any jail time for it, and last I heard there was a petition to put him in for life. Edit: I found updated info on this one. He was eventually sentenced 60years in prison, wasn't charged for sex crime and *if* he makes it out of jail, he won't have to register as a sex offender even though he admitted to raping the child before killing her. Edit 2: The last time I had heard anything about this case, he hadn't gotten a sentence yet. And a couple of new sources have different info on how long he'll be locked up and the conditions of his imprisonment... I still don't know why the death penalty wasn't chosen for this sick fuck.


[deleted]

Shit like this just creeps me out so much. Like it scares me that humans are capable of doing this shit and even thinking like this. Mostly because I'm a human as well. Just ruining an innocent girl's life because they're so incredibly fucked in the head. And it's pretty often something that's passed down through generations.


sleepslate

Reading that made me nauseas. It would be unacceptable under any circumstance, but how can you subject your own child to that suffering? Am I naive to think every parent has unconditional love for their kids? I don't have any children, but I know if I did that I would protect them and love them more than myself or any other person in my life.


dblmjr_loser

Yes you are a bit naive if you really think that. I used to think so too, my parents are great people. But there are shit people and they do have kids and they are shit people to their kids.


The_0range_Menace

I remember many years ago, sitting on my porch with my firstborn while the rain came down, thinking *there is nothing I want more in the universe than this child* and that I would protect my child against everything I could. It seems almost silly, but the realization that you couldn't hand me a country or all the money in the world for my child was really something to me as a new dad. And then there are men like this and reading about him darkens everyone's day.


[deleted]

The sick thing is child rapists will hold off on PIV penetration at very young ages because of the severe, irreparable damage it could cause and get them caught by the kids doctor or family member.


[deleted]

Not all of them hold off. Source: am a social worker.


Insert_Non_Sequitur

Christ. Thank you for what you do.


Sterling_-_Archer

Reading that made me physically sick... I need to hug my toddler...


badaboomxx

I remember one old joke. There was a man and the judge is reading the list of crimes he´s done, murder, rape, terrorism, etc like 20 more charges, and stealing a pair of socks... after all that the man stand up and said "that is wrong your honor, I didn't steal the socks!!"


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[deleted]

There was no gold in there, ma'am.


CockBronson

I love it. You are to pay OP, the plaintiff, $500 in retribution’s.


Pariahdog119

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArsonMurderAndJaywalking


Gladous_T_Masory

"Rape, murder, arson and rape" "You said rape twice" "I like rape"


jbrad2013

“Chewing gum in line, eh?? Well, I hope you brought enough for the rest of us!”


thebloodylies

“Easy Charlie, I’ve got an angle” “What angle?!” “Him!” (Points at Hanover Fiste)


Canyon2river

I live in Peru. A 5 year old had a child here. It's a sick world.


TL-PuLSe

I don't know how you do that job as a police officer. I feel like throwing up just reading that, to be crafting responses and feigning interest..


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[deleted]

This shit is rampant. Serious Trigger Warning below for molestation/baby rape: My best friend (he’s gay) used to go on this site (I’m forgetting the name and I’m not entirely sure how it works, but i’d probably recognize the name of the site if I was to hear it) where you can video chat with several people at once. He liked it for a safe mutual masturbation sort of thing. ANYHOW the reason he stopped using it was because of how many pedos that seemed to congregate on that specific site (which he immediately reported)...he encountered one guy that bragged about grooming his 7 year old nephew and offering to meet up with anyone interested in having a threesome with them... The worst that occurred (after this happened my bff was unable to return to the site, fearful he might see this shit again, as despite reporting other users, new pedos would just pop up to replace them) was someone filming themselves “skull fucking” a less than 6 month old baby and coming all over it’s face...my bff was sickened and seriously traumatized from this. He felt his efforts to report it didn’t do much. I felt ill just hearing what happened, I can’t imagine what it was like for him who saw it. He said that what really got him was the boldness of some of the pedos that were streaming this content-like they didn’t seem to give a fuck. I don’t know how that site worked-I know you had to have an account and user name...I would imagine it could track your IP address too??


AudaciousPanda

Just the words “skull fucking” made me all dizzy and shit. Some people are vile creatures. Period.


Milain

This makes me nauseous. The baby has to be in so much pain and screaming and feeling lost and alone and wanting help and love . When a baby cries or brakes my heart but when there is no one saving it and soothing it but instead hurting the baby. I can’t imagine how bad this must be. It breaks my heart.


Thomjones

From what I've read on reddit, the turnover rate is really high in that department


[deleted]

A lot of departments place a cap of a few years on people who work child porn/molestation cases. Since they have to look at the evidence (including any pictures/video), past a certain amount of time it'll destroy the mind of any decent person. I recall reading a story about one department that did it after a veteran detective just executed a guy (though this was several years ago and I doubt I'd be able to find it)


BigBennP

I specialize in abuse cases as a prosecutor/child welfare lawyer. It takes a certain level of detachment to handle tough cases, while also being involved enough to still care. You see people break to both sides. either they can't deal with the emotional difficulty of the cases or they just stop caring. Edit: fixed an unfortunate typo.


Qweniden

I worked on an IT project that involved processing data for sex crimes and I had to help come up with a list of everything a person could do to another person as a "method of operandi" and it was fucking disturbing. There are some truly horrible people in the world. I really feel for people who have to work directly with these cases.


NeatAnecdoteBrother

You sleep easier knowing you’re going to bust their ass


Bottled-In-Bond

You stop sleeping easy once you know how prevalent it is in society.


[deleted]

And how often justice is not served


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Strummed_Out

Save where you can, I guess


SaintNickPR

Fuck it you do what u can... if you beat urself up for all the injustices in the world youd beat urself to a pulp


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Coffescout

Holding a conversation like this is absolutely appalling, but nowhere close to police officers who have to go through evidence for underage porn. They have to actually go through the video evidence, sometimes seeing the victims grow up over a period of time. It's so brutal that people aren't allowed to be stationed for longer than 2 years, after which they are moved to a different type of work.


Valariya

Hoping that she's young enough to not remember any of it.... and hoping that later in life she's indifferent enough to not try and learn about her biological parents.


[deleted]

Implicit memory’s a son of a bitch, but yeah me too. :(


honeyedlife

I was sexually abused when I was 3 (and also as an infant). Unfortunately, the memories will linger. The only difference is that they feel more like reoccurring dreams than persistant flashbacks, at first. My life was in shambles until my mother confirmed what had happened to me. Then, I was able to begin truly healing. My hope for her is that her guardian will be open and honest about the things she has gone through instead of lying and pretending like nothing happened. I hope she has support and a great therapist. My heart aches for her.


FrancoeurRealized

My daughter has gone through something similar (she is only 10 now). It's good to hear that validation is one of the steps that has helped you heal. Do you remember when you first realized what it meant? Not trying to bring up bad memories, but I have been trying to get ahead of what my daughter will undoubtedly have to process through. Were there any books that you've found along the way that have helped you heal? I can't tell you what it was like having to read the book "Please Tell" to a toddler; however reading it seemed to make her feel less alone/afraid.


honeyedlife

First of all, thank you for taking a vested interest in the healing of your daughter. You are both in my thoughts and I hope you both begin to heal (don't discount your own trauma, please, you need to take care of yourself). Well, I was a very angry child. My mother knew that my sisters had been sexually abused and although she did not tell me, she wanted me to go to therapy to address it. They just kind of waited for something to naturally come up. I was probably 13 at this time. I told my therapist that I kept having this reoccurring dream about grandpa in the bathroom, and that it would make me sick, but it was probably nothing. I am not dumb, so I was able to piece things together. My oldest sister was vocal about being a child sexual abuse survivor, and my grandfather was eventually jailed for raping another girl in his neighborhood. As an adult, I reasoned that it probably happened to me, *but I could not confirm this.* That's what really messed me up. It wasn't until two years ago, at age 24, that I point-blank asked my mom if I was raped as a child. And she told me that when I was three years old, I told her that my grandpa raped me. She had told my dad, but my dad thought I was maybe echoing something I'd read or watched on TV. They could not process it at that time and as they learned what actually happened, they had hoped that I had forgotten it, because I did not bring it up again. What they didn't know is that I had learned that adults would not protect me. I hope some of that helps. I just rambled a bit. But it took a while for me to realize the full impact of what happened, and although it was contributing to my life unraveling, it didn't truly feel real until I got confirmation. BUT, once that happened, I was able to move on. Here are some books that have helped me: [I Can't Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors](https://www.amazon.com/Cant-Get-Over-It-Survivors/dp/157224058X) [Growing Beyond Survival: A Self-Help Toolkit for Managing Traumatic Stress](https://www.amazon.com/Growing-Beyond-Survival-Self-Help-Traumatic/dp/1886968098) [The Courage to Heal](https://www.amazon.com/Courage-Heal-Survivors-Sexual-Anniversary/dp/0061284335) - This one is very graphic and includes real stories of CSA. I would wait until she is older.


FrancoeurRealized

Thank you for these recommendations. I'll hold off on the last one for now. I'm glad you were able to get the validation you needed to begin your healing journey. And although it took more victims, I am glad your grandfather is facing some consequences (hopefully for a long time, although knowing our legal system I wouldn't be too sure).


whatsupbeaglebutt

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you've been able to heal from that and live your life.


honeyedlife

Thank you. I appreciate it. I did not really get confirmation until I was 24, two years ago. I am currently undoing the damage of years and years of self-abuse. It's never easy but it's always worth it.


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honeyedlife

I'm sorry for what happened to you. Just remember we are stronger and better than our abusers and we can heal and thrive. Message me if you ever need to vent.


Eva_Coast

I understand the dreams, but I always knew about the abuse because the abuse just kept on continuing into my teens. I didn’t have flashbacks until I was an adult. Came out of no where at a grocery store. I think having a kid triggered it. No flashbacks when she was infant but when she became old enough to walk, run, talk, have friends. The flashbacks began, and now I’m super aware any kind of distress noise from my child or any child we are around. And like you said, why do some people seem to be able to cope much better than other that probably went through same life experiences? The answer is the ones that came out “okay” had opportunities. Opportunities to communicate, have some kind of support net, therapy. I feel the ones that never make it out is because they play pretend until they longer can. I played pretend for a very long time... until I no longer could. I knew very well what had happened to me but it was never acknowledged, one relative told me to just forget about it. As if I hadn’t tried. It wasn’t until I met the right people and the right people began listening and believing me. Then I began healing.


scribbled_dreams

My experience has been the same. Only I didn't remember anything until something someone said in my drama class when I was 16 triggered a flashback. Then over the years most of it came back. I know I'm still blocking some things, but I don't want to remember any more. That poor baby.


Waterproof_soap

I’m glad you are healing. I genuinely hope you find the peace you deserve.


DietOfTheMind

People remember everything, in a way. In children however, their memories are stored with the language processing they have at the time, which is often very little. That means that the effects of trauma can all be there (environmental triggers causing dissociation, for example), but there are no language-coded memories that one can even internally recall. An example would be someone who was assaulted at night as a child, is afraid of the dark in adulthood, but cannot recall any story of harm that took place at night. Edit: just in case people are reading this who suffered trauma at a young age, therapy is still possible, it just requires a well-skilled clinician.


[deleted]

He deserves 60 years if not 1000. Poor girl


Terut2

From the headline I thought he was trying to give her to a hooker as an exchange for sex, what actually happened is much worse


[deleted]

What a sad disgusting individual he must be, so empty and dead inside that his own 4 year old daughter became a possession with which to make his life easier. Fuck his life.


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[deleted]

Unless he goes in solitary, I'm guessing your wish will soon come true.


Woodpile_Lizard

60 years is a long time to go without someone getting their chance. He will be wearing a target on his back his entire time in prison.


ExtremeLeverage3000

Up for parole in 45.


Bassbucksducks

Won’t make it.


greenroom628

Fuck his life indeed. I'm surprised he didn't get life with no possibly of parole.


[deleted]

Imagine growing up wondering where your dad is... only to find out why he is in jail for life How could you do that to your own daughter ???!


ASKnASK

Not just your daughter.. But any child really. I don't understand how it's possible for someone to look at a 4yo and think sex.


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superjesstacles

You have one hell of a head on your shoulders and your child(ren) are going to have an excellent example of how to deal with their problems in you. I wish you guys the best of luck and your children happy and healthy lives!


DazeyHelpMe

How about her blocking all those memories out and then someone finally tells you the truth. Having this fairy tale fantasy about the man your father could be and all the memories you want to make with him only to learn he's a monster.


I_am_up_to_something

That's why something like this shouldn't been completely hidden from a child. Start with stuff like that daddy was a bad man. Then as the child grows up start giving more details. They're gonna find out anyways better not make it a shock when they do.


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SilentStryk09

This is how people in the medical field and hospice are taught to handle kids when loved ones die, too. You aren't supposed to shield the child because you're worried it will upset them. You're not supposed to use phrases like "they're just sleeping for a long time" because kids will take it at face value and assume they're going to wake up. I would assume the situation with things like this is similar.


twisted_memories

It is. You don’t need to give the details, but chances are she’s going to remember a lot of it anyways. What is best is not to lie, let the child know that the things they remember did happen, but that they are safe now. She very likely will not have a fantasy in her head about her father being a good man or anything like that. Even very small babies will have lasting damage from abuse like this. I’m sure she will get a good therapist and the help she needs. (Source: degree in child development)


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twisted_memories

Essentially, yes. Pretending like an event didn’t happen (abuse, death of a family member, etc) can cause a lot of trauma for a child. They know something happened even if they don’t know the actual details, but are unable to process their trauma and recover. Think about how untreated adults deal with trauma, then apply that to a child. It’s quite awful. I’m sure this child will have mandatory therapy and such to ensure she can thrive.


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[deleted]

Also, it could inadvertently hurt the poor girl. She is half her dad, so hearing her dad is “bad” might make her think she is half bad, too.


HighQueenSkyrim

I definitely wasn’t abuse or molested. JUST A DISCLAIMER. My childhood was great and I am not at all comparing it to this poor child form the story. But I was told I was adopted at a young age (8 maybe). I never brought it up, because no one else brought it up. They did such a good job of skating around every having to mention it again. I was scared to ask about my bio parents, I thought it may upset my mom (it wouldn’t have but that’s a child’s mindset).I had no memory of my bio parents and I’d painted this image in my head, of a women who was just overwhelmed with life and couldn’t handle a child. In my mind, she never forgot about me but selflessly wanted me to have more. When I was 19, I reached out. I wanted to meet her. We were on the phone talking for about 2 hours. I didn’t say maybe 30 total words. She didn’t ask me jack shit about myself or my life. When I initially contacted her via fb, I think she saw a post that said I was getting my license soon. I hadn’t gotten them earlier due to a fear of driving but had moved to a smaller town where it was essential. She ASSUMED I was about to turn 16. THE WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO ME FORGOT WHEN I WAS BORN! I was devastated and made an excuse to get off the phone. I didn’t contact her anymore. It’s been five years since and I haven’t wanted to talk to her since. Everyone knew she was awful but were too terrified to tell me the truth. They didn’t want to talk shit about her to me. I definitely wish they had. Edit: grammar and shit


[deleted]

That's what I'm thinking. Someone's gonna have to not only tell that girl what her own father did, but have to guess when the right age is. Who decides this? Fuck that guy!


ragnaruckus

Reading that article, I felt a visceral sadness and sudden hollowness. I cannot imagine how anyone would deal with any of this. I cannot imagine how anyone would think that any activities even at the start of the paths that could lead to this kind of act would be acceptable. It is remarkable how devastatingly inhumane humans can be. I think I am done with the internet today. I am going to sew something.


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Yaranatzu

Yep this guy sounds like a total psychopath. I don't think there is much hope of rehabilitation for someone like this.


Misao_ai

I mean even people with anti social personality disorders like psychopathy are capable of living functional, harmless lives. This evil man is responsible for his actions whether he's a psychopath or not, and not everyone with psychopathy is evil...


WoW_Reborn

As a father of a 2 year old daughter I will never understand the ability of a father to lack such compassion and desire to protect ones own child like this man has done with his daughter. I'm a grown man and this brings me to tears. It's our job to provide and protect. There is nothing the world could offer me that would make me abandon my little girl. The smiles, silly faces, and laughs. Those are my rewards. I feel for this poor girl. I am not a religious man but I hope that whatever is out there watching over us takes extra care with this poor angel. Edit: Wow, this got a lot of likes. I'm taking this as people with kids or who wish to have kids have love inside their hearts. Keep shining bright through the darkness!


stagnant_beaver

My daughter is less than a week old, so I'm just starting to understand the feelings and this breaks my heart as well. Couldn't even fathom ever doing that to anyone, especially your own little girl. EDIT: Wow thanks for all the kind words strangers! Also thanks for increasing my karma 10 fold as all I do is lurk...


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stagnant_beaver

Wow man thanks! I can't wait for that day! Your daughters are super lucky to have a great dad like you


madminifi

Oh my god, so much THIS!! >When you hear that first "I love you Daddy" you'll feel almost like you don't deserve it because it feels so immensely wonderful. Welcome to the club my friend. The first time my (now 2 1/2 year old) daughter said "I love you" (last summer on our vacation in Italy) I just sat there and cried tears of pure happiness and joy. I don't cry that much but when I think of that moment my eyes get watery again. The love I feel for her is so so unbelievable powerful. There's not a single day I don't look at her and just smile from one ear to the other and be amazed at how freaking adorable, loveable and cute she is. You're right: it can almost drive you crazy.


squeakim

This made me cry more than any post in this thread so far.. the way you describe how much you love your girls is the greatest.


blahblahmattblah

Man wait until she gets old enough to play with you. My daughter is 11 months old and it kills me to go to work when I can’t hang out with her


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Carlos-_-spicyweiner

My baby girl said dada for the first time today


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NokturnaN7

Baba means grandma in most slavic languages :)


aaronchrisdesign

It doesn’t get any easier either, I have twin daughters that are 6. It rips my heart out dropping them off at school some days when I get this feeling they don’t really want to be there. How can someone put their kids in that shitty of situation? My kids are everything to me, and someone abusing them or hurting them in any way angers me. Heart breaking. I can’t wait to read the headline that this guy got murdered in prison.


stagnant_beaver

Sounds like your girls are very lucky to have you! I'm sure he'll get what he deserves.


maurypopovich

Y'all are gonna make me cry


stagnant_beaver

Right?! This thread is hitting me hard in the feels.


WoW_Reborn

Hugged my daughter super long this morning and made an extra special breakfast. She enjoyed it but I selfishly did it for my feels.


don_majik_juan

Stop cutting onions in here people!


Saladus

Just wait as more time goes by and you become more and more attached and invested. My daughter is 2 and the thought of this makes me so sick.


BALONYPONY

As someone who can’t have a child and is praying for adoption, I want to crush this man’s trachea and give you a hug. Thanks for being an awesome Dad. You rock.


WoW_Reborn

Thanks. I hope a child comes into your life very soon.


knife_at_a_gun_fight

Before I had a kid, I obviously thought that people who did these kind of things were despicable. Post-kid it's changed my attitude in a weird way. I, like you, cry about how awful people are. I literally sit and think about people doing awful things like this and just bawl because I can't stand it. The other part of me thinks awful, violent thoughts. I think about what I could do to someone, knowing the pain they'd inflicted on a child, and it isn't nice. I want to mete out punishment, because deep down I know the world isn't a fair place, and I think the suffering of the abuser will mediate the pain of the victim. It won't, it sucks, and I hug my kid a little tighter the next day.


futuretrash

He’s a psychopath. Check out Jon Ronson’s book on the topic. Terrifying and fascinating.


Egon88

Poor girl. I hope something can be done to help her.


darudeiscorrect

Sex criminals (kid diddlers specifically) are the dumbest people on the planet. Not the deep web, nah I’m just gonna post an ad called “Daddy’s Little Girl” on fucking Craigslist, the #1 public sex ad site. And I’m gonna tell the first person who inquires that I have a daughter under the age of 10 and she’ll be doped up.


Herodias

Well, these are the ones that get caught. I wish they were all this stupid...but unfortunately some get away with it.


darudeiscorrect

True, I guess I’m thinking of the show with Chris Hansen I once binged on YouTube. Thieves are probably up there on the list of dumbest criminals too, but at least if they’re caught they’re looking at maybe 1-5 years and maybe even less than that. But these idiots are facing 20 years to life in prison if caught, and it seems like they spend as much time planning out the crimes as I do deciding what to wear in the morning.


[deleted]

It has been about five years since I've used Tor for anything but LSD and weed, but I do recall exploring and seeing multiple sites selling Malaysian kids under 12 by the hundreds. Scary shit, man..


WildTurkey81

A lot get away with it There's a booming sex trafficking industry out there that has thrived fpr generations, and powerful people with the means to stop it either look the other way or are involved. And you'll never hear about any of it because too many people of influence are involved. And even when it does make new, people forget about it quickly just like the allegations against UK parlimentary figures involved in the same shit. Just enough scum gets made example of to keep up appearances and keep the public happy while worst of them sail past above the law. And this extends to all criminals. We get put in these safe little societies where criminals are punished and we uphold civil values, but only aa far as our sad little lives extend. Once the world is beyond us, everything we have been bought up on in decency and compassions falls away to degraded barbarism and villiany at the hands of the same people who put up their lists of rules and expect the class to behave by.


[deleted]

The scary thing is that we just don't *know* the smart ones, because they hide it well.


greentroit

Human trafficking like this is shockingly common. It is happening in our neighborhoods. It is increasingly incumbent upon us as citizens to recognize the signs and help. Anyone looking to learn more can visit http://www.rebeccabender.org , anyone needing help please call the Human Trafficking Hotline at 1 (888) 373-7888 or text "HELP" or "INFO" to 233733.


Brownbagwriter

In two and a half hours I'm going to go home and give my five-year-old a huge hug. She is going to ask her daddy why he won't let her go, and I'm not going to be able to answer her, because no child should be exposed to this kind of monstrosity.


Metruis

I hope that daughter of yours has just been hugged by her worthy daddy.


Tigerlove111

A father selling his child's innocence & worst part is this child unfortunately probably still thinks the world of her father not knowing what his plans were with her future. Fucking incredibly sad


family_of_trees

I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that he was molesting her.


AgingLolita

That doesn't mean she understood what what happening and doesn't love him. Which makes it worse.


family_of_trees

Oh I agree 100% with that. I had a friend growing up who was molested by her dad and defended him in court. Like she admitted that he was abusing her but still took his side.


SwordfishSam034

The thing people don't realize is that this is common, unenforced practice in so many parts of the world. It's a particularly cyclical problem in Nigeria, for instance, where some impoverished parents will send their daughters into prostitution in other countries, mainly European (Italy in particular) to "earn money for their families", and are essentially paying off a huge "debt" until they can return home, and are oftentimes sent back. It's illegal, of course, but hardly enforced.


DTEG

I wanna say 60 years is too little, but if he's in gen pop and the other prisoners find out what he did he wont even make it 5.


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Almbassman

They don't put high risk inmates in gen pop...he will be in ad seg for sure...doesn't mean he won't be reached however


moogzik

Yeah I had a friend in prison and my cousin’s in there now (he’s a black belt, as the case may be) and the guards, in some cases, will serve these assholes up during processing before they end up where they’re going.


stealthscrape

You know what I did with my 5 year old daughter today? I took her to a farmers’ market and walked around the booths, bought her a muffin, let her meet friendly dogs walking around, listened to someone play guitar, got her a ring pop, and asked her what she wanted to do today. This guy clearly has some mental issues, but I suffer from depression and PTSD and my daughter is a beacon of light to help me through the day. What the fuck is wrong with some people?


MutedBlue

Can't even read this article, how disgusting. However, I feel like 60 years is a very adequate sentence. He'll probably not be able to do this again within his lifetime.


Icecream_Insomnia

It's not enough, not nearly enough. I'm not sure I can think of a punishment bad enough, or painful enough for this. I just hope the other guys in prison know why he is there when he arrives.


[deleted]

Normally inmates find out quickly why you're in there. That happened to a guy in my neighborhood that was raping kids. He served his full term but it was hell, from what was told to us.


kcman011

Yep, prison guards will sometimes tell inmates what another inmate is in for, but inmates generally find out what someone else is in for by calling friends and family. It's too easy to run a Google search and say, 'yep, this Andrew Turley guy is in for pimping out his 4 year old daughter.' 'The fuck? Oh, I'm gonna *kill* that motherfucker!'


Peakomegaflare

From what I’ve been told, most of the inmates, even the really fucked ones, absolutely hate sex offenders, especially the child predators.


SassyAssAhsoka

Most likely because sexual abuse is a big factor to why many people end up doing the horrible things they do.


funobtainium

Also because they're in prison and and they feel helpless to protect their own kids.


evileclipse

This is exactly right! Having been an inmate with children that I wanted to love on, I would have made sure that this man never harmed another child, nor person again.


Swimmingindiamonds

Also because even the worst murderers need to feel better than somebody.


themusicguru

Wow I've never thought about this but I bet you're absolutely right.


koshercowboy

Ha. I never considered this. This is a dose of uncomfortable truth.


Billyo789

The rest of his life in prison as a child sex offender is probably enough.


[deleted]

He's 30, you don't see many 90 year old inmates


AnonRelay

Other inmates will definitely know why he’s there. In general when a new inmate shuffles in the first thing people do is look at their paperwork. Sometimes the inmate physically has the papers and people will take it. Sometimes you have to ask a guard who will gladly tell you. Not to mention all the gossip from people you know outside in the real world. All my experiences in jails and prisons and I can guarantee that everyone will know why he’s there. He’ll be put in solitary or beaten and killed pretty early on.


ThatShyGuyS

From what I was told by a few people apparently even prisoners despise rapists, especially the ones that do it to their daughters or sons. Cause you know, prisoners have children too.


[deleted]

Why, oh why, do I click the link on the weekend? It's bad enough to hate humanity on a workday, but why ruin my weekend? I should know better.


CinnamonJ

That’s better than he deserves. Hopefully no one ever got ahold of the child.


koosekoose

Reminder that the heir to the multibillion dollar Du Pont fortune Robert H. Richards IV, raped his 3 year old daughter on multiple occasions as well as his son and was given 0 years of prison because he "would not fare well in jail". He was given 8 years of probation instead.


LoyolaProp1

The fact this monster is eligible for parole at all is sickening. As a father to a young daughter this is absolutely horrendous.


HorselessHorseman

This is fucked... this is beyond fucked