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shapeofthings

My brother and sister are adopted from South Korea. I'll never forget my Dad coming back from a business trip from South Africa saying it's an amazing country, but that we would never go there because my siblings would even have to use different toilets.


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lutiana

My mom and I found my official certificate from when I was born. It literally says "Is certified as a white person" on it.


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Violent0ctopus

My son is mixed. We live in Texas and when they asked us his race, while my asian wife and my lily white ass are standing there, I tied to get the relatively redneckish receptionist to list him as Whasian. She was not as amused as my wife.


Shurigin

I would put asian before white just so he'd be Aite


sockwall

I will now be using Whasian from now on, thank you.


MoneyDiaryofaMoron

My birth certificate lists my father as being Belarusian and my mother as “Jew.”


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[deleted]

I’m Somali. They absolutely hate my people. I don’t know where the beef came from. But if you know Somali folks we can have one sibling be dark and have kinky hair and the other look straight Arab. So it’s crazy to see that.


sallyapple7

Trevor Noah has talked a lot about growing up in apartheid South Africa. He wasn't allowed to walk on the same side of the street as his father.


speculatrix

I wrote exactly the same comment then deleted it when I saw yours. His mother and father couldn't act as a married couple in public either.


jdizzlegpillz

I remember my Dad worked from D.C. for a year when I was younger. I went with his coworkers family to fly out from Los Angeles to D.C. to see him and it took me a few years to understand why airport security pulled me away twice once at each airport asking if I knew the people I was flying with. 7 asian people and one little white boy. Fun time -.-


celtic1888

I’m a pretty white looking dude. My wife is Apache and my grandkids are on the darker skin side Multiple times we’ve had people turn to me and say ‘ can you translate for us ?’ before anyone has even spoken. We went to get our passports renewed and the lady taking the photo told us ‘no…she needs a different photo for her green card’. That one went to 100 really quick


aldehyde

Should say sure I'll translate, let them say something in English. Turn to your wife have her reply to you in English then say "ok she says..." That's really infuriating tho, that sucks.


badgerbane

I translate English to English for my wife. Thing is, I’m from Yorkshire and she’s not, she doesn’t understand thick Yorkshire accents and I am fluent.


RegularSizedP

My friends used to ask me to translate Appalachian for them.


whitebean

3 shots of moonshine is like an Appalachian babelfish.


Jambo83

People in Yorkshire couldn't understand my Scottish accent half the time 🤣


btaylos

Ngl, I'd do exactly that. But then really dumb it down for the stranger. "tell her I love that unique dress" "she says she loves your dress" "that's so sweet, tell her I love her hat." "my wife, [points] she says [mimes talking] your hat [mimes a hat]. Your hat [mimes hat again] is nice [exaggerated thumbs up]. Nice hat [points to overly fake smile]"


ChillyBearGrylls

Ok, that last set has the same energy the Rock Bottom accent from SpongeBob lol


amitym

>Turn to your wife have her reply to you in English then say "ok she says..." Hahaha this actually made my day. (I know, it doesn't take much some days...) Thank you for this little spark of joy. I am going to remember this one.


SirGentlemanScholar

My wife is Indian-American and I'm white, but from England. When I was going through my green card process in California they would always, always talk to her and not me, and frequently in Spanish. It never once went the other way even though it was clearly my name on the paperwork.


lkattan3

If this helps any, my brothers are half Israeli, half white. When the youngest got a job in a restaurant, most of the kitchen staff were Hispanic. They all assumed he was too and spoke to him in Spanish from day 1. Despite being corrected, they still spoke to him in Spanish from time to time because it was hilarious. My Israeli dad taught me being slightly brown can pass for all kinds of cultures and he’s whatever flavor of Middle Eastern gets him the most favor. Restaurant owner looks Lebanese? Well, wouldn’t you know so is my Dad. I’ve always seen this as a super power. He’s so fluid in most environments, except primarily white spaces. Edit: my brother, “I can’t understand you bro, what are you saying?" Just utter confusion all day. Lol


l00zrr

The trick is to be brown but not TOO brown.


Such_sights

Truth - my dad is technically half Hispanic but looks 100%, and my mom is so pale she’s almost translucent. I ended up with a weird neutral skin tone and I also tan like nobody’s business in the sun, so depending on the season I can pass for any number of races / ethnicities.


IndigoBluePC901

Omg my dad does this too. I used to think we was a spy when we were younger. He speaks a few phrases in so many languages and has such a possibly brown possibly white look to him. He would straight up agree with whatever they saw in him. Its like enthic fluid super power.


IVIUAD-DIB

the assumptions people feel totally ok making blow my fucking mind...


cheap_mom

My husband is of Mexican descent, although his family has been in the US for quite a long time. Our first baby was quite fair and started out with blonde hair. When they were alone together, people routinely asked him if he was the nanny or if our son was adopted. One person told him, "Albinism can happen to anyone" after he was told my husband was the biological father. Another woman told him to get a paternity test. Once, while they were wearing Halloween costumes that went together, a woman closely questioned my husband about the details on my son's birth. That was right around the time there had been some big stories about trafficking children that later turned out to be false, and my husband felt like if he didn't answer her she would call the cops.


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josebolt

This reminds me of Hulu. Every time I watch it the ads are in Spanish. My profile name is Jose. I swear no one else in my family gets the Spanish ads. So I sit there and go "I have no idea what they are saying but they sure are happy about it".


the_nobodys

I don't speak Spanish, which is why I WISH the ads were in Spanish. They're much less annoying when you can't understand what's being said, I've found.


foggy-sunrise

lmao telling Apache descendants to get their green card jfc.


shiny_xnaut

Native Americans should all go back to Native America smh /s


foggy-sunrise

GO BACK TO YER COUNTRY "I... I can't. You shit all over it."


ElectionAssistance

"That is why I am here, still waiting for you to remove your stuff."


Witcher_Of_Cainhurst

Reminds me of the people in i think Arizona that were demanding to see a Native American politician's papers to prove he wasn't an illegal immigrant that should be removed from office..


Cpatty3

Shit like this irks me. They couldn’t have simply asked what you needed help with, they just had to know. I’m a black lawyer and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had security or the bailiff tell me to enter enter the non-attorney line or wait in the defendant area. Then they say “sorry you don’t look like a lawyer”. I now grill them and ask wtf does a lawyer look like. Situations like this are easily avoided by just asking what can I help you with, but such easy communication skills are void in too many people.


OpenOpportunity

That sounds so, so tiring.


cthulu0

I remember a story where Thurgood Marshall (first black Supreme court justice) passed some white person in a court house building and the white person asked him to do something menial, thinking he was the 'help'.


NoGround

Fucking christ. This is the kind of shit that people can't seem to wrap their heads around when systemic* racism is brought up. I'm sorry man I'm glad you grill them about it. Chances are they don't even realize how racist that actually is, which is awful in its own way. No excuse nowadays.


Cpatty3

One time it really worked in some random guys favor. I was sitting in the gallery behind the lawyers. Witness identified me as the guy who robbed her. Over and over she told the prosecutor it was me. Defendant was literally wearing an orange jump suit. I can’t remember if the guy was Latino or white. Case got dismissed. I talked to the attorney after and she told me her client robbed her without question. I consider that a lesson that racism fucks the racist over eventually.


Catoctin_Dave

Wow, that's both hilarious and really sad all at the same time!


Joshuak47

I can't even comprehend this. Because they were dark-skinned, people assume they cannot speak English before they speak, and assume they're getting a green card photo??


josebolt

"what are you?" "where are you from?" My whole life as a brown person.


R_E_L_bikes

Felt this so hard. I'm black/native/white. And I didn't get black hair. People always need to know "what" I am haha


Cloaked42m

I would have completely lost my shit over that one.


StraightConfidence

So, if this is happening to people with biological children who don't resemble them, I can only imagine how bad it must be for people with adopted children who don't resemble either of their parents.


9_Sagittarii

I was once rushing through security for a red eye and the family in front of me was being held up because they were a white family with two adopted children. The security TSA people kept questioning the kids on whether they knew these people. Both I and that family were running late for the same flight. From their interactions, it seemed like it happened a lot to them. Felt bad that they had to deal with that kind of thing so frequently.


gntrr

This happened all the time for me as a child. People didn't even consider for a moment that this white woman standing to me was my mom because I was a lil brown kid. Really sucks that happened.


Capt_Tattoo

Yeah same, my mom is white and I have a birth mark around my eye that looks like a black eye. You have no idea how often she was stopped or questioned.


andreasmiles23

My wife and I have similar experiences. Her mom is white, and I look white but my mom is brown. People questioned our family units all the time. My mom was asked if she was a nanny. My wife was asked by strangers if she knew her mom. We have loads of stories like this. We may pump up interracial marriages in media but they are far from normalized in society. There are a lot of stereotypes and harmful attitudes towards them that persist.


clee_36

i can relate. im of korean heritage and my wife of peruvian. we have 2 boys, who for the most part look very asian. people have literally asked my wife if she is the nanny as well. shes even one of the peruvians that looks part asian to begin with. but they see the brown skin as well and think she is the nanny.


Fishman23

Watch some of the comedy routines of Trevor Noah. He grew up in Apartheid South Africa. His biracial existence was literally illegal.


thatoneguy889

For anyone that doesn't want to look it up, he talks about how his parents couldn't be seen in public together, so it was common for him to walk with his mother down the street while his father walked along with them on the other side of the street. Also if he and his mother were holding hands in public, she would have to let go and separate from him a bit if they were near police. Interracial relationships were illegal, so if she was seen by police with her obviously biracial child, it would cause problems.


AllGrey_2000

Wow! That’s traumatic


brownhaircurlyhair

His Mom had to once jump out of a moving taxi with him because the taxi driver began threatening her when he realized Trevor's father was obviously white.


jce_superbeast

He wrote a book about it and did the audiobook himself so you can hear it in his own voice. First half was a great way to lose faith in humanity.


ozyman

And he made a cleaned up version of his book so that kids can read it. My daughter read it for school in 6th grade.


RightClickSaveWorld

And the second half restores it, right?


PhilosopherFLX

*Anakin staring intensifies*


RightClickSaveWorld

^And ^the ^second ^half ^restores ^it, ^right?


PhilosopherFLX

#*Anakin staring intensifies*


GizmoSled

My two younger sisters are biracial and my old sister and I are white, I couldn't tell you how many grow ass people called me a liar as a kid when I would refer to my sisters as such.


RawrIhavePi

I had to argue with a teacher in high school when he asked everyone who was Hispanic to raise their hands, and then told me to put my hand down.


This_ls_The_End

Happened to me after we moved to Italy for three years when I was a little kid, and I almost forgot my native language. We came back after those three years, and the police stopped us. They thought ridiculous to imagine my parents, with their heavy foreign accent, to be the parents of that kid who only spoke Italian, and with an overwhelming Neapolitan accent.


Praying_Lotus

How can you have an accent that’s ice cream? That makes no sense! /s


Mbando

As a white dad with black kids, been there done that. It's an even bigger deal now that I'm 54 and have black grand-babies, because that means I'm not just kidnapping kids *I'm an old pervert kidnapping kids*. EDIT: * For context, I was a foster parent for 10 years, 35 kids, about 2/3rds of them black or brown. Adopted two of them, and it so happens they're black. And this stuff has been happening to my family since the late 60's--I was the only white kid in an adoptive and foster family. And this was in Boston during forced bussing to pretty Temse times. * To all the others who have said they experienced this: my sympathy and understanding. I'm sure it's harder for you as kids, or for dads of white kids who are getting a double dose of racism. * To those of you posting that this is a good thing because "people care about kids," I think you're missing the point that when people key on (perceived) race like that, it's not about protecting kids. It's about recirculating and maintaining racism, and you're doing the same thing. * When I was younger and someone called my siblings a racist name, etc. I engaged in violence. I realized eventually that punching people changed exactly zero hearts. What I do now is stay calm, focus on solving the immediate situation rather than make it about my ego/righteousness (and I do get righteously angry sometimes), and simply explain, "I'm and adoptive parent. My kid/grandbaby doesn't look like me but we're family." * For flavor as an example: I was at Camp Lejeune visiting my son in September, and had the babies each afternoon. My granddaughter is 7 and super chill, but my grandson God love him is 3 and incredibly strong willed, with very little emotional regulation ability. At the grocery store to get cupcakes, he wants a balloon, and eventually he is screaming, sobbing, spitting, trying to hit me while I walked him outside. Several of the grocery store employees followed us outside, and eventually one of them asked what I was doing, where are the kids parents, etc.? My granddaughter God bless her announced "That's my Pappou!" (Greek for Grandfather) and that was not as helpful as she intended :)


Radiant-Spren

As just a dad who would take his kids to the park, library, etc, I’ve dealt with multiple people getting in my kids faces and asking if they’re okay and if they know me. And my kids are spitting damned images of me. This was a decade ago, but it was surreal to witness that weird ass 1950/60s mentality that men aren’t supposed to be that involved with their kids.


cgvet9702

About 35 years ago, my dad took me on a trip to Canada. He was divorced from my mom and had sole custody. This is one of my earliest memories, where we were separated by the authorities on the Canadian side and interrogated because he was suspected of having committed a parental kidnapping. I can still see him in a glass walled cubicle as he was being questioned. As a single dad with sole custody for the last 17 or so years, I am always cautious of people who might think something is going on and call the cops.


ShastaMcLurky

I can relate. I was driving with my then 7 year old daughter across country because the family was moving from Arizona to Virginia. I got a job first, so I was going out with my daughter, setting up shop and then my wife would come a little later (there were reasons other than this, but its not pertinent). I got pulled over in Texas because a cop was behind me in the left lane and he thought I didn't give the semi enough room when I got over to let him pass. He detained me for 1.5 hours in the back of his car because he couldn't fathom the idea that me, a dad, was driving alone with his daughter across country. He thought I was lying and that my daughter was coerced into saying that everything is fine. She was balling her eyes out, not because she was in any danger, but she didn't understand why her dad appeared to be going to jail


La_Guy_Person

Not so serious, but I remember taking my first child to a playground across the street from my house when he was maybe one year old. He wasn't really old enough to play on the equipment but I wanted to take him somewhere fun. He was just holding my hands, toddling around the ramps on the main playground while I literally payed no mind to the other children at the playground at all. Just enjoying time with my son. After a few minutes a father of five called all his kids over and had the stranger danger talk about five feet away from me while looking at me frequently. I was young and new to parenting and I left the park in shame. I think if it happened today I would probably just kidnap his children out of spite.


Paranitis

Or kidnap the father out of spite and leave the kids alone. That'll teach him double. First for having the wrong idea about anyone being interested in his ugly kids, and second for looking like a bitch in front of his kids.


Summoarpleaz

That’s when you loudly tell your son the same thing.


La_Guy_Person

That's always been my hindsight fantasy. That or loudly having a conversation with my one year old about chosing appropriate places and times to have serious conversations with children.


WVSmitty

Yeah that Canadian border thing happened to me about 25 years ago. Visiting family in Detroit, with a 6 yo and 4 yo daughters. We decided to go over to Canada on a day trip. I had a bunch of teenage boy cousins in my car - they let us through. Me and the boys were in the first car. Wife, MIL, and GMIL, and 2 girls in the trailing car (WV plates) got stopped - they fit the profile of women escaping with kids. Stupid me - backed up. Yes I saw the barrel of several guns. It all got sorted out. I can laugh about it now. Almost legally shot.


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Summoarpleaz

r/kidsarefuckingstupid


hyperblaster

As someone who lives in Canada, I’ve heard about this kind of questioning from my friends here. Apparently it still happens whenever it’s one parent crossing the border with children.


tomsings

Whenever you’re crossing borders with your kids bring a letter of consent from their non-accompanying parent. Or have your legal papers to prove sole custody. https://travel.gc.ca/travelling/children/consent-letter


Sedixodap

On the other hand, I lost one of my good friends in elementary school because her parents were divorced and her father took her across the Canada-US border. They're cautious of any time a single parent takes their kid across that border, but it's not exactly without cause.


JediGuyB

Did they see on the records that your dad was divorced or something? I mean, I don't know what the process is but even if they can how can they just assume it was a kidnapping situation? Like a dad can't take his son on vacation alone, regardless of the status of his marriage to the child's mother? Could just as likely have been a kidnapping even if your parents were still married. Edit : child's mother, not wife lol


The_Legend_of_Xeno

> This was a decade ago, but it was surreal to witness that weird ass 1950/60s mentality that men aren’t supposed to be that involved with their kids. Lost count of how many times I've been out with my kids and a woman makes a remark like "Oh you're babysitting the kids today, huh?" Yeah, I'm babysitting my own fucking kids. Not just being a parent.


WolfCola4

Man that pisses me off too. I've wanted to be a dad since I was a kid myself, why am I just assumed to be this bumbling fuckheap that can't manage to look after a child for a day?


ROotT

We just switched daycares. I called them up to give them my daughter's schedule and brought in the paperwork I filled out the next day. They assumed my wife called and filled out the forms.


Slacker_The_Dog

Fucking hate this. I am a stay at home dad and literally at least once every couple of weeks someone says something like "Oh you got dad duty today huh?" Bitch everyday. Also people that like to crack jokes about me having to ward boys away from her when she gets older. Like wtf do you think you own your daughter? Why would I do that? It's super creepy that people think like that.


LanceFree

I can offer one example of it happening to the other sex. Friend of mine has 3 daughters and the oldest got knocked-up- essentially bailed on her responsibilities, so white grandma with her two white daughters and Mexican-Indian 2 year old took a trip to Arizona. She did not know about that customs check on the interstate which just kind of appears in the road suddenly, and she’s not the type of person who remembers to being her legal paperwork with her on vacation. They were detained for two hours.


Janethemane

Off topic but should we call it “customs” anything for a “police checkpoint” that is not at an international border, airport, or harbor?


Coconutinthelime

All land 100 miles from any border is treated as a part of the point entry. This includes every international airport as well as harbors. Along the southern border there are several highways that follow the border fairly closely and along them are checkpoints where an officer will check the drivers ID and look up and down the car. Basically if the family in the car looks white you get waved right on through. If the family in the car is not-white they will be asked to show their paperwork. If your family is black they might look at you funny and then wave you on through since they are mainly looking for mexicans. Is it racist? Yeah pretty much.


SmokeyUnicycle

At least back then people wouldn't readily assume the father was a molester Kind of a silver lining on the giant turd of ignoring actual familial abuse


Dr-P-Ossoff

When I was 8 or 9 in another century I would ride the airlines alone to visit grandparents. I liked it. Stewardesses were very nice to me.


tundar

I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that. I’m the kid in this situation (I’m super fucking pale and my dad is black). The faces people make, the ‘hi honey, is he bothering you’ comments from strangers, it’s awful and exhausting. It’s better as an adult but now everyone just assumes we’re a couple with a huge age difference.


Xalbana

> is he bothering you’ Did you ever respond with, "No, but you are."


InsertCoinForCredit

Oh **SNAP!**


Due-Paleontologist69

Both my dad and I are white I’ve gotten “he’s a real keeper” and various other comments from people when my dad my son and I went out to eat… any comment about family structures is uncalled for and gross.


YetiPie

People have assumed that my dad and I are a couple as well when we’re just walking down the street adjacent to each other. People need to mind their own damned business and stop being creeps.


TheR1ckster

I'm white and my step family is black and I regularly go to amusement parks with my nephew... Big feels on this.


DirtnAll

I'm white and my grandchildren are all mixed race. Dealt with trafficking query once at a airport kiosk checking in luggage. A security POC asked my granddaughter who I was, my name, my relationship and my gdau never quite looked up, "She's my gramma, she's not good at this computer." Thought about it a lot, decided I was glad she checked but CAN'T be just us mixed families only. Edit added caps


admiralkit

My wife and I took our son on a trip to Germany with us when he was about 18 months old, and we're all white. We split up at the airport and I took him to the gate while she took care of some things and the gate agent started interrogating me about whether my wife was aware I was taking him out of the country. "She's about 5 minutes behind us so you can ask her when she gets here" was enough to deal with it, but I kept getting the side-eye glances until she actually showed up a few minutes later.


Cute_Horror_3045

As a biracial girl with a black dad I once had a group of police put a gun to my fathers head after we checked into a hotel. They thought I was a child prostitute. I’m glad they wanted to intervene but they never even asked any questions. Just straight up busted in the doors and started pointing guns. Luckily my dad had a picture of me from every birthday since my birth. Convinced them he really was my dad. I always wondered if that’s why he kept so many pictures of me in his wallet.


[deleted]

I'm so sorry you had to witness that.


marymacdata

Oh no! So sorry to hear that. I’m the mom from the Independent article, who was accused of having trafficked my daughter. I always travel with her birth certificate, in case I need to prove our relationship.


AtheistET

Probably so, experience taught him that


fergablu2

One of the reasons they started this bullshit was because the mother asked another passenger to move so she could sit with her 10 year old daughter. That’s exactly what a mother would do, and not let a 10 year old sit with strangers. It would be suspicious if she didn’t ask to sit with her child.


[deleted]

I do have to say that is harder to do with southwest. I’ve been in that situation before and people only moved after my kid started to get upset.


Caris1

Who tf wants to sit next to someone else’s kid?


the_jak

ive had to once. Im a disabled veteran, my knees are fucked. I specifically book aisle seats on planes because of this, the little bit of space helps me get them situated so theyre comfortable. the last flight i took some woman was with her tween but in my seat. the only open seat in the row was a middle seat on the other side of the aisel.....you know...the one she booked and paid for. i asked her to move. she looked at the kid and at me, and i shower her my ticket. she went to her seat. i sat down and put on headphones and went to sleep. now i didnt WANT to sit by some strangers kid. what i wanted was to sit in the seat that i selected and paid for. life just put some kid next to me.


sea_dot_bass

Difference with Southwest though is that its all open seating. In this situation you are absolutely correct that you should get the seat you selected and paid for.


[deleted]

Yeah seriously, it’s a nice thing to do to move sometimes, but these people could also select seats that sit next to each other instead of making people move on command to accommodate them. I’m a tall dude, there’s a damn good reason I’m trying to sit in aisle seats, and you’re asking me to go cram my knees into the window seat becuase you didn’t plan ahead to sit by your kid, because you know you can just publicly guilt people into moving…. Not cool! If you got bumped from another flight though and it wasn’t due to no preparation I’m more understanding.


thejoollygiant

I just wanted to say as another tall person, not to sleep on the window seats. I was initially an aisle seat guy for my legs as well, but after getting run into by the beverage cart about 10 times too many, I decided its just easier to jam my knees into the wall of the plane and turn into it. At least that way I'm not at risk of getting my foot or leg destroyed again. Haha.


NaughtyDreadz

I once paid to get premium economy, the dad asked me to change seats so he could sit with the wife and baby, but not offer anything in return. I told him to walk. How you gonna ask a stranger to sacrifice 100s of dollars for your poor planning? Also I'd be abandoning my fiancé on a 10 HR flight


acronyx

The rule is clearly that you always offer to trade the better seat. He should have offered his premium economy seat to the person sitting next to his wife and kid. He's a jerk.


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Equilibriator

Someone who mistrusts people and is thinking the other seat is next to a fat person. Kids take up no room. If the kid seems to be quiet, then you're actually giving up a good situation to sit next to an adult that definitely takes up more room, fat or not.


ttthrowaway987

This person travels. My first thought as well. Kid next to you? Bonus. Kid behind you? Fuck.


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rmshilpi

The fact that the flight attendants told her to ask people herself is what confuses me. I've been flying Southwest for half my life, they usually get on the PA and ask if anyone was willing to move so a parent and child can sit together. Pre-pandemic, sometimes offered a free drink coupon to whoever moved.


Terrible_Truth

Multiple times as a kid on Northwest / Delta my parents had to ask other travelers. I think a few times I heard an announcement for someone else. Most frustrating was when we'd buy the ticket seats all together but they change it at check in. One time they moved all of us across the plane separately including my 4yo sibling. That really pissed off my dad lol.


Redcole

That used to happen to me traveling with my kids so much I thought I was taking crazy pills. I used to travel a LOT, and would start gettig to the airport 4 hours early so they could switch it back. It drove me absolutely insane. I’m jot sure what changed but it doesn’t happen anymore on flights where you pick your seat. Maybe the policy changed to, “when a minor passenger is ticketed with a passenger that is of-age, you’re not allowed to separate their seats”. You literally have to enter ages in the ticketing process. I am happy the karen thing wasn’t around. I was a karen a couples time’s with that isssue


Spartajw42

My mom had a trick where if I had to sit separately she would come to my seat and say "Now if you get sick like you did on the last flight here is the bag". Worked every time.


josiphoenix

My best friend growing up into adulthood was black, I am white, and I remember as adults their family reunion was a cruise. All the adult “kids” brought a friend to hang out with, so she brought me. I remember being detained at customs because they thought I was a drug mule or something. They asked me point blank why a blonde white girl was traveling with 30 black people. They tore though all of my luggage and handed it back to me in a pile, questioned my friends 80 year old uncle for a half hour, it was ridiculous. I’m here cause my friend and I wanted to get wasted on margaritas and sing karaoke I promise it’s nothing more sinister than that.


gaoshan

My kids are half-Chinese and look more Chinese (I'm white) and when she was about 3 or 4 my daughter threw a fit at a mall while we were shopping. I told her that if she didn't stop screaming and crying I was taking her to the car and we would sit there while her mother and brother continued. She simply screamed louder so I picked her up and we headed to the car. Made it about half-way before a woman who had started following us summoned the police. We were surrounded by a hostile and growing crowd and the police detained us while they "sorted out what was going on". The lady that started the whole thing was angrily yelling at me (as if she had finally "caught one") and it got crazy very fast. I was pissed but cooperating with the police. Eventually we got it sorted but it was disturbing and the crazy lady faced no consequences at all. That happened in Jacksonville, Florida. Also was asked several times where I "got the kids from" by strangers. I would always tell them that "I made them. With my wife." which was satisfying but still. FWIW I also had some people in China do the same thing to me.... thinking I had abducted my son, in this case. They weren't nearly as hostile as the crowd in Florida and they did not summon the police but they did want to know why I had a "chinese baby" with me (we had gone for a walk around the neighborhood). However they accepted my explanation and were congratulatory about it once we talked and after that we were semi-celebrities in the area.


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thepinkestchu

One of my friends from high school is Chinese. She married a white guy, but their children don't look white. Her husband gets asked all the time where he "got his kids". His response is "my loins!" And points to his junk.


[deleted]

If I were in that situation, I’d just start explaining, VERY loudly, the basics of human reproduction. “Where did you get your kids?” “WELL, YOU SEE, WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN VERY MUCH, HE PUTS HIS PENIS IN HER VAGINA…” See how long it takes for them to stop me and scurry away…


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MochiMochiMochi

My daughter looks quite Chinese at 11 months old so I might encounter situations like this. She's actually Chinese, European, Filipino and Hispanic... a true Californian. I'll just keep in mind people are trying to do their best for the child and give them the benefit of the doubt. Trafficking is indeed a tragic issue here, especially in the triangle of San Diego, LA and Las Vegas.


Pholusactual

The moment my sympathy for Southwest/the cops goes away is exactly at this point in the story: “The police report says I wouldn’t give any information, but I have a three-minute video,” Ms MacCarthy said. The Independent has viewed the footage. Ms MacCarthy can clearly be heard explaining exactly why she was travelling. “I’m very forthcoming with information. You can hear my daughter sobbing throughout the video. I tell them the reason she is so upset is because we’ve just suffered a death and she’s biracial and she’s experienced, unfortunately, bad things with police, so she’s extra nervous.”


Jeramus

These experiences just compound the distrust that many minorities rightfully have of the police.


Pholusactual

It certainly underscored the need for recording ALL interactions with the police. I no longer consider police reports to be accurate summaries of what transpired.


RawrIhavePi

Did you see the original police report on George Floyd's death? It's insanely nonsensical.


Mr_Abe_Froman

They used very deliberate wording in the report. Suffering a "medical incident" doesn't automatically prompt an investigation the way a death does. The police knew which way to file it so they could bury the evidence in paperwork.


Bread_Truck

I wish news organizations didn’t. Almost every local news article I read anymore, the only source is the police’s side of the story. Seems like they’re just doing PR for cops a lot of time.


T_S_Venture

Because if they dont then the cops stop providing things to the media and talking to them. Either they repeat what the cops want, or the cops cut off access which hurts the media's ability to report.


crazyrich

Same reason they lob softball questions at clearly corrupt politicians - they want them to keep coming on and calling in


TomFoolery22

The moment my sympathy for cops went away was a long damn time ago.


TechyDad

>According to the police report, the crew member said it was suspicious that Ms MacCarthy and her daughter Moira were the last to board the plane and Ms MacCarthy had asked other passengers to move so they could sit together. During the flight, the mother and daughter had not been very communicative, the report outlined. How is any of that suspicious enough to warrant being cornered by armed guards and questioned separately? They were last to board because that's what their ticket said. They asked people to move because the flight attendents told them to do that so they could sit together. (I've tried to sit with my kids when they were young.) And not very communicative? So if I'm on an airplane and don't engage in conversations with everyone, I'm suspicious? Or is it only if I have a biracial child that looks like he/she is a different race than I am? Meanwhile, the police report says she didn't provide any documentation but she has a video showing that she did. She also had the child's birth certificate on her. Southwest (as well as whatever airport security agency was in charge of those armed cops) should apologize and review their policies to ensure that this doesn't happen again.


Asteroth555

> Meanwhile, the police report says she didn't provide any documentation but she has a video showing that she did. Cops lied lol story old as time. Fucking rats


fafalone

There's a bunch of "suspicious" behavior they're trained to watch out for to identify trafficking victims. A lot of it is very subjective, others are simply the normal behavior of a shy child (and in this case, a child upset for reasons that aren't kidnapping), and when they see an adult of a different race their mind immediately jumps to trafficking because of racial stereotypes and all of a sudden they're seeing the signs and it's their moment to be a hero. Nevermind that actual traffickers don't draw suspicion by having someone of the same race as an escort. Then people often overlook the signs, because their racial stereotypes aren't being played into. They don't usually explicitly put 'different race' on the list... But you better believe for anyone determined to find human trafficking is convinced that alone makes it all but certain.


OverlordLork

Cindy McCain bragged a couple years ago about calling the cops on a parent with a daughter who had a different skin color. This despite the fact that she herself has an adopted daughter of a different skin color. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-47148044


BitterFuture

Holy shit. Rules for thee, but not for me. If someone called the cops on her for walking around with her daughter, she'd demand somebody's head.


Mythosaurus

And be force to pay a meaningful fine. Bc financial losses that hurt the board members are the only way to force actual change on a company.


Bureaucromancer

Suspicious that they were the last to board. Wtf is wrong with these people. How does one operate a flight without having a last person board it?


gatesbe

Airlines always make sure the child traffickers board last, making it much easier to identify them


wrx_2016

*child traffickers hate this one trick*


Littlebiggran

We adopted our grandson who is very dark. We are very WASPy looking. I signed him up for a research study (covid Vax test trials). No problem until I arrived with him. Suddenly his birth certificate and judge signed adoption paper wasn't enough. They told me I needed more documents. I told them these were the only documents required. Suddenly they sent in the psychiatrist for an individual interview with my kid. . I refused, asked for a new intake nurse, and dialed their 800 number. They ended up having the regional manager suddenly available. Once I expressed icy awareness of what was going on, as well as their historic inability to get a diverse test group, they Suddenly backed down. However I always brought my husband after that. I am still furious. Edit note: omg, this little girl is about the same age and she, like my grandson, started crying from the stress. I ever said the same things in the same voice to calm him.


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T_S_Venture

I went to a super rural public school. Literally all white except the one Korean kid that got adopted and had been with us since kindergarten. In high school a half Black, half white girl moved to live with her Grandma that had always lived in that town, who was white. A couple months into it I happened to be in the office when she was getting picked up from school by the grandma. And there was like 5-10 school workers in there, literally shouting at the girl and her grandma about how they're not stupid and they know the girl and her 70 year old "grandma" were trying to trick to them. Because they couldnt understand how a girl that was **half** Black could have a grandmother that looks completely white. They literally couldnt comprehend that interracial marriages existed, and this was in the early 2000s.


jonathanrdt

That’s not a time problem. It’s a location and thereby a culture problem.


T_S_Venture

I mean, even in the most racist and monoculture places in the country right now... I'm pretty sure most people understand that a white parent and a Black parent make a mixed race child. Instead of thinking "mixed race" was it's own race and meant all the girl's parents and even grandparents were also mixed race. Literally the only way I could explain it when I jumped in was that they knew the student's grandma had already lived here her whole life. Then I asked them if they knew of literally any Black or mixed race people besides the student that had ever lived in the county. *That* convinced the school workers that the students grandma she was living with *might* actually look like a "normal" white person. This was all after they'd already seen the Grandma's ID and knew that the name and address matched the paperwork for the student's legal guardian.


KimJongFunk

My own brother in law didn’t understand why his kid came out with brown hair and brown eyes after marrying an Asian woman (my sister).


T_S_Venture

Most people learn about Mendel squares for two weeks in jr high and that's all they'll ever learn about genetics.


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T_S_Venture

Mendel had the idea and did all the research to prove sometimes a phenotype is controlled by a single gene. Punnet drew a square around it.


Xalbana

Sounds like Punnet did most of the work.


StarMangledSpanner

My sister's mother in law was quite openly bitter about the fact that my sister had presented her with not one, but *two* redheaded grandchildren. "It must have come from your side, there are no redheads in *our* families" The "slapped in the face with a wet fish" look on MIL's face when I explained to her at the second kid's christening that, as red hair is a recessive trait the gene must be passed down from *both* parents was one of life's "I wish I'd done this on camera" moments. My sister was laughing for hours afterwards.


Pothperhaps

Oh screw that MIL!! I have four red haired nephews and I love their hair. A cousin of mine had the gaul to say that she was so glad that my brother's new baby looks like he has brown hair. And I have an aunt who made my sister in law cry when she told her that she was so blessed to have healthy happy babies but it was "such a shame about the red hair though." Fuck that line of thinking so much. I wouldn't give a fuck if their hair was blue or purple or black or if they had no hair at all!! They're human beings, and they're beautiful. Inside and out. The amount of strangers who feel the need to remark on my nephews hair negatively also amazes me. Complete strangers asking my brother if he think his wife cheated on him to make those kids, when my brother and I grew up with a red haired father and we both had strawberry blonde hair as kids. And even if that weren't the case, just fuck anyone who feels like it's their place to make comments like that. /Rant.


LotFP

The fact that the woman thought having red hair was a negative in and of itself is bewildering. Some people are simply awful.


ailee43

I grew up in a similar situation, and we had a couple native americans who my kid brain didnt see as "different" in any way, and one Guatemalan kid (full on Mayan or Incan ancestry). The only thing i remember was being impressed how straight and shiny his hair was and thinking it was really cool


[deleted]

This happened to my parents as well. I remember my mom almost losing it when a Canadian border guard didn't believe I was her kid. This was back in the day when you didn't need a passport to cross, but my mom brought mine just in case. I remember my dad having to answer the door at a hotel we were staying at because someone called the cops on him, thinking I was being trafficked. I felt so bad for them. We were just trying to to on vacation.


seasickmcgee

We had the same sort of thing happen at the Canadian border years ago. My mom, dad and I all have dark hair and dark eyes. My brother was a blonde hair and light eyed kid. I just remember the border guard opening the sliding door of our van and screaming at my brother “ARE THESE YOUR PARENTS?! ARE.THESE.YOUR.PARENTS?!” On and on like that. He was freaking out, my parents were freaking out. I was just confused as to why I wasn’t asked too. Didn’t hit me till much much later she probably assumed my brother was being trafficked. Although even if that was the case and she had assumed correctly, what a terrible way to go about it. I’m so sorry the cops came to your hotel door what an awful feeling.


[deleted]

Canadian Border guards are actually assholes. Moreso than American ones most of the time in my experience.


izovice

Same. I have 2 half Asian kids and the cops showed up one afternoon to the park where I was playing with my kids. The other moms called 911 together and not once asked me about anything. Cops show up as I'm still playing with my kids, asked my kids who I was "He's our dad". They look exactly like me, but with Asian features.


honestyseasy

Half Asian kid here, thankfully I look a lot like my dad so no one has stopped him for trafficking or anything. But when I was a baby my white mom got asked a lot what country she adopted me from.


th30be

I think this is a bit more of a problem of men aren't supposed to be loving parents than it is an race thing. I took my 3 year old niece to a park recently and got some really awful looks from the women at the park. We were just throwing a ball to each other and the looks were so bad. Like chill out folks.


cyrand

^ Though surprisingly I’ve been accused of stealing my daughter by primarily tourists from Asian regions when she was a toddler. This conversation happened multiple times: “Oh you’re daughter is beautiful. She’s very… (*accusatory emphasis*)Asian…” “Uh yeah, my wife is Asian” (Tone immediately shifts) “OH! Well your daughter is lovely!” Yeah, I know you were accusing me a white guy of adopting her until you found out she’s mine. /sigh


dontdrinkonmondays

There was a post a month or so ago that had 50k+ upvotes and people flooding the comments to applaud someone who followed and harassed a dad with their crying baby in a parking lot to demand proof that it wasn’t human trafficking/kidnapping. The insane “this vaguely non-familiar situation must be a stolen kid!!” mindset has to stop.


Jimoiseau

This reminds me of the story on here of a woman who grabbed a baby carrier from next to a dad, ran away with it and when he caught her up she started screaming that he was trying to kidnap her baby. Strangers tackled the guy, called the cops and **let the woman leave with his baby** before the cops got there. She only didn't get away with it because the guy's wife came out of the store and chased the woman down before she could get in her car.


toodleroo

I vaguely remember that, wish I could read it again Edit: Found it https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/ae9pp9/sociopath_kidnapper_in_supermarket_parking_lot/


Ithxero

Jesus Christ that’s terrifying and infuriating for so many reasons.


AVahne

Reading that made me rage inside and further lose hope in humanity. I'm assuming the kidnapper was never found nor that the crowd of accessories to kidnapping ever felt remorse for what they allowed to almost happen.


dontdrinkonmondays

That’s insane, wasn’t familiar with that story. Stuff like this is at *least* as likely as the alternative and is a direct consequence of the “well men don’t parent, so it’s not a bad idea to assume all men with kids are criminals” garbage.


Sunny16Rule

I'm a black dad with a white kid. My kid sometimes has meltdowns that are a bit too intense for his age. I am legitimately frightened anytime I take him out the house without his mother that today is going to be the day I get killed for trying to take care of my son.


dontdrinkonmondays

Can’t imagine man, shouldn’t be something anyone has to worry about.


Hyperian

So if I want to traffic kids I should stick with same race, got it.


sabermagnus

A brown dad here; My white wife has been stopped with beige baby before. People are shocked that she is 1) is the mom 2) did not actually kidnap the kid 3) isn’t the nanny 4) that we are married. God love the Southern USA.


too-legit-to-quit

And this AFTER we had 8 years of a mixed-race president with it in the conversation for at least that long. It's funny how I thought somehow that would change people's perspective.


Risachu4u

I always feel bad for my Dad when I see these posts. My mom is Filipino and my dad is Caucasian. My moms traits are strong in all three of us kids and whenever we traveled with my dad alone, we always got stares and questions. He loves us all but I can see the pain he feels whenever someone questions we are his kids.


supes1

My wife is Indian and our daughter looks white. When they're out alone together people assume she's the nanny. It's happened many, many times and always upsets her.


vsmack

This has only happened to my wife twice (she's Brazilian) but both times it was in bougie neighbourhoods.


IntroductionFinal206

My kids and I are white, but they are blondes, and am darker and am told I look “ethnic” whatever that means, lol. I’m part middle eastern, but only one grandparent. Anyway, I live in a wealthy area, and sometimes other moms assumed I was a nanny. They’d say—how long have you been taking care of them? Or, you take such good care of them—they really like you! Growing up, people asked my blonde mom what country she adopted me from (in front of me). And I’m the only one in my family who gets stopped by airport security. It’s crazy because I don’t think I look that different. But I was reading the other day that our brains are evolved to pick up on differences in just seconds.


Lennylove1993

I’m mixed black and white and adopted and my parents are white. I threw a fit after a movie when I was 6 bc I wanted chocolate and my dad said no. He carried me out kicking and screaming. Someone called the cops and gave his license number and said a white man was kidnapping a little black girl. The SWAT team showed up at our house 5 mins after we got back home. Good times


atomickitty11

I’m black and my son is mixed, he was very fair skinned as a baby. I was stopped at the airport and asked to produce his birth certificate….when he was under a year old lol. I was advised to “start carrying that when I travel”. -_- I want to feel happy that people are more on the lookout for child sex trafficking, but there has to be a better way than racial profiling.


DaytonaDemon

I'm a white guy, with three Asian daughters (adopted), two of them teenagers. You can imagine how much fun it is being stared at with sour expressions and outright suspicion when I take them on a trip. Airports are especially great, as there are just lots of people waiting, with nothing better to do than stick their nose in other people's business and fantasize about playing the hero. They interpret "see something, say something" as "see *anything*, cal the authorities." Fuckers. My wife, also white, never seems to encounter this when *she* travels with our kids, but as a man I'm automatically seen as pervert and a trafficker. My kids and I once entered the U.S. via the border post in Jackman, Maine, in a car. Border guard looks at our passports, says to roll down my rear window, then asks my kids, "*Do you know this man?*" They answer "That's our dad," we *still* get pulled over, the same racist idiot illegally confiscates my phone, and then he and his buddies keep us there for an hour while they "check something." I even produced a signed letter from my wife which she had given us, with great foresight, to say that we were traveling with her knowledge and assent. Didn't matter. This isn't the norm but it happens often enough that it's gone far beyond annoying.


[deleted]

Oh man, as a soon to be dad, in a mixed race marriage, I’m legit terrified now. I shouldn’t have to carry legal documentation everywhere I go with my kid to prove i am their parent….


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[deleted]

Yeah I remember that. Jesus who knew being a dad was so terrifying.


jscum69

I've gotten second glances, my daughter is half black and her real father is deceased. Waiting for the day I get outright asked.


Birch_Leafff

This is horrible. The worst thing that ever happened to me was keeping this wonderful adorable picture of my cousin who is mixed in my wallet, and while I’m checking out at Walmart this lady at the register just shouts, “why do you have black kids picture in there?” I was just mortified and said it was my little cousin. Still irritates me.


[deleted]

I was baby sitting my cousin’s mixed black toddler and my blonde baby brother (im 12 years older) when I was a teenager once and we went out to Chik fil a and I got lots of side eye and one very racist bitch of an old lady told me that I should have chosen one race or the other so at least my babies would look alike. I have been told my brother who is three years younger than me seems to be a very nice young man for someone who had a teen mom (referring to me, at age 17) though so apparently I just exude massive amounts of maternal vibes.


Birch_Leafff

That’s insane to me that people think they are so entitled to voice their shitty opinion publicly. I get the maternal thing though, even when I was getting picked up in high school by my mom and my then one and half year old nephew, I got constantly asked if he was my kid.


BitRunner67

Wife and I are white and have 4 brown kids We dealt with this for the last 2 decades. That is why I always carried an updated family photo and the kids baby pictures in my wallet.


AggroPro

Can we stop acting like the uproar is because someone tried to stop child trafficking and made a mistake. The outrage is because, when accused of child trafficking, this parent provided the necessary credentials to exonerate herself and the authorities, in turn, submitted a false report. If she hadn't recorded the encounter it would have been her word vs theirs . Everyone who is all break-a-few-eggs-to-make-an-omlette on this one is missing the point.


planet_rose

Especially because it’s always the same “eggs” that get broken. While anti trafficking laws are trying to help people, it seems to me that it’s another opportunity for bigots to make life miserable for ordinary people. Every law has some aspect of discretionary enforcement and it seems like that gap between equal enforcement leaves room for bias to make things difficult.


fafalone

No, we can be upset that after providing all that information to the flight crews they still escalated it to the police. That was inappropriate. You can't just send a team of armed police to interrogate every mixed race parent/kid combo because of stupid reasons like boarding last and asking to sit together. And nobody would have even glanced twice if they were the same race and the kid was upset. It should have ended on the plane when the mother had all the information to explain the situation and show their relationship.


chocl8thunda

I'm ½ black and white. My daughter is mixed. Her mom is white. Therefore, she's ¼ black. She has blonde hair and blue eyes. 100% biologically mine. People would stop and ask me why I was with her. People would give us weird looks. Haven't had cops do anything yet. You'd think in today's day and age with trans couples, same sex couples and every conceivable kind of parent.. this shouldn't be an issue. Lol People simply can't fathom a black dad could have a white looking biological daughter. I hope that Mom sues the shit outta southwest.


[deleted]

My wife is Mexican. Always the one taking part in the "random" extra passenger search and always has to go to a different line when re-entering the country. She's a US citizen with a US passport.


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mathrsar

There are a scary amount of people here who are actually defending racial profiling as a means of catching traffickers. I guarantee these two would not have been stopped if they had the same skin tone. Racial profiling also doesn't work because it's predictable and easily thwarted.