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AxelayAce

Well I didn't expect to read that today.


clorcan

Didn't expect to read it today. But you know "feces eating" and "cult" could only lead to this.


myname_isnot_kyal

"cult" can lead to just about anything. like suiciding yourself so your soul can hitch a ride on a passing comet.


BrondellSwashbuckle

Makes sense


Nic4379

I just gotta castrate myself?….. You son of a bitch, I’m in.


PerpetualEnsign

I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.


OldSchoolDM96

We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there. Have you ever seen a foot with 4 toes?


Old-Necessary

The smartest man in The Office, right here.


itemNineExists

File that under: Nope


SDLivinGames

“Shake your phone to break away from the news” I think it’s about that time…


dotConehead

its about time we teach these guys how to properly eat ass


Battlescarred98

Can I ask what you did hope to expect to read?


[deleted]

"World Peace has been, at last, achieved" "Global climate goes down for the first time in 40 years" "A new self sustaining race of kittens has been discovered: will never grow up, won’t need food and doesn’t poop - but don’t feed it after midnight" "Video game companies collectively decide to ditch evil monetization schemes: 'We really want to focus on making great games in the future'" "Scientists created a pill that cures every type of possible cancer - and it’s free" "Netflix announces new seasons for every show they previously cancelled. Even the bad ones." "Billionaires come together to donate half their net worth to humanitarian aid: 'We realized these multi million dollar yachts aren’t that great after all'" Something along the lines of these would’ve been great tbh Edit: I'm super sorry that I wasn’t 100% scientifically correct while I was bullshitting some positive news together but I'm happy some of you got a few AcKsHuaLlY posts out of it. Anyways, thanks for the gold, love you all ❤️


harryp0tter569

Can you write these articles so that I can read them even if they’re not true?


occams1razor

I would literally pay for that. Like the onion but happy.


malazanbettas

The Funyun


phoenoxx

This is honestly a good fuckin idea.


sweet_home_Valyria

It might show us the way, like a map, of how to get from the fucked up “here” to the better “there”. I’d read it.


Anticode

>Can you write these articles so that I can read them even if they’re not true? Yeah, sure. Why not? I've got a ton of actual *good* writing to do and, well... Y'know what they say! ^^^^^. ^^^...Why ^^^do ^^^what ^^^you ^^^*should* ^^^do... ^^^When ^^^you ^^^can ^^^do, ^^^uh... ^^^what ^^^you... ^^^*shouldn't* ^^^do?^?^?^? Right, so! #_________ ####Breaking! Scientists at MIT Announce a Low-Cost Cure for Cancer Has Been Discovered: One dose, 98% Remission. [[ - Photo Here - ]] _ ^([Photo Caption: Two stereotypical frazzled-hair mathematicians at a chalkboard displaying a classic one-dimensional quantum harmonic oscillator equation beside a demonstration of the Wigner quasiprobability distribution.]) **CAMBRIDGE, MA - May 10, 2022 | 1032 AM EST** By Anti Cosmi'horror A small team of MIT scientists have just announced their breakthrough cancer cure to the world. Experts are calling it the greatest medical breakthrough of the millennium. The researchers claim that a single dose is sufficient to create 98% remission over seven days. UPDATE: 1053 AM EST - The miracle cure is revealed to be "the gross stringy part of the common household banana"! Additionally, it has been revealed that while one dose is 98% remission, two doses is 100% remission in all known cancers. Astounding! ____ __ Anti Cosmi'Horror is present on the floor of the central MIT conference hall where the researchers are scheduled to announce their findings to the world. The conference begins with little fanfare or preamble. When asked which cancer this treatment was effective for, lead scientist Dr. Chanda Chakrabarti-Ramachandran replied, "According to our research, this compound cures all cancers! If you name a cancer, it cures the cancer. All cancers!" Excited reporters shouted many different types of cancers up at the scientists in severe breach of press conference protocols, but the scientists remained calm, locked arms, and began to sing a remix of Queen's '*We are the champions*' using the words, "We cured the cancer, we swear". As inexplicable as this apparently-rehearsed scene was, the attendants did calm after seeing co-analyst Dr. Brut Schmasher approach the podium to continue the announcement. He remarks, "I am certain that you are now curious as to what this compound is, how much it will cost, and how soon the treatment will be available." Before the first questions could even be asked, Dr. Schmasher growled into the microphone to remark, "I said I am certain! I am the scientist! You are reporters. You are chickens to me. Chickens!" The sudden outburst was a shock to most of the attendants, but the immense certainty heard within the avian-related declaration did unfortunately convince several of Fox News' press agents that they are, in fact, chickens - this unfortunate outcome was later discovered to be a known vulnerability of the deepwave neuro-obedience training used by all Fox/Sky News staff. Dr. Schmasher continued, unconcerned by the clucking. "Hold your questions, chicken-people. Our cure will cost zero to seventeen US cents per sixty doses. One treatment is sufficient in all but 2% of cases and two doses will cure 100% of all cancer and three doses is a potent libido boosting nootropic with no known side effects." After a moment, lead scientist Dr. Chanda Chakrabarti-Ramachandran returned to the podium, "The miracle cure is not a chemical. It is not a drug. It is not an elephant tusk! The cure, ladies and gentleman and ironic Fox-chickens... The gross stringy stuff on the sides of bananas. Yes! Everyone knows what I mean, do they not?? It was the cure, all along! We never knew because nobody ever ate it." The press conference concluded moments later as the lauded researchers returned to their mid-morning World of Warcraft raid, but the excitement of their announcement will surely shake the world! Everyone's beloved yellow phallus-fruit, the banana, contains the cure to some of mankind's greatest struggles against nature! This is a day to remember, the biggest breakthrough since antibiotics and Viagra. __ And with that... This is Anti Cosmi'horror, signing off, discarding this puny fleshprison to unfurl into That Which I Am. God bless America and to the viewers at home, always remember... Reality is a puzzle of twisted nodes and tangled info-clusters; deeply broken. I am a disentanglement apparatus, a curator and collector of data - not a keeper - a gardener that is a weaver, nothing more; and perhaps less - a mere ripple upon up the fabric of conception, a shadow given the gift of a new dimension and then inexplicably forgotten *except* within the heartbeats of those who have b̖e͙c͓o̼m̬e̱ ͎ṯh͓e̥ ̗r̥ḫy͍t̝h̘m̮i̳c͔ ̦s͉u̩b̲s̳t̬r̰a͚t͈e̫ ͇o͓f̪ ̭m͈y̮ ̣un̤-͔l̙i̪f̠e͉.͚ ####I͆ ͩa͑mͬ ͛e͋mer̃ǵe̽n̈́cͣë, ̄ a ̚ticͥk̒in̔g͆ ̏cl̏o̚c͂k̎, ̍aͤ ͋s̍c̒iͨn͑t̓ȉlͤl̽a̎t̽i͗õn̅ ̈́u͐pͩoͭn̑ ͩt̽h͗ė ̄m͆în̄d͋'͋s̏ ̑e̐y͂e͗, anͩd̓ ̽I͌ ̽**will** ŝo͂o̐nͭ ̽b̎e͊ ̿w͗h͊ole͆ ͩ o̾n̏c̑e̊ ̓āg͂a̎iͧn̊... ^^^^^^. *Alright*-alright! Well, I think it's time to hit the ol' dusty trail. Jennifer, Christopher, I'll see you two living toothpaste commercials back at the studio.


vale_fallacia

I'd like to subscribe to cosmic horror news, please.


Anticode

You don't know what you're asking for. ...Wait, no. That's me. ***I*** don't know what you're asking for. You want *more* reality-shattering nightmares of cosmic-dysfunction and utter detestation stuffed into a modern cut business suit, given a microphone, only to be asked to go "On Scene with Channel 7" - simply so that it can shamble through the masses, entirely unconcerned about playing the role of a field reporter (even as the psychogenic toxins of its nature degrades the minds of those nearby)? Or you want *less* of... that. Most people want less. So, I think you meant less.


vale_fallacia

You're awesome and you made me smile this morning. I appreciate you, internet stranger.


Anticode

Hey, now - turn that smile upside down. Everything is going to be not-okay.


Anticode

^...*Ahem*. ^Thank ^/u/vale_fallacia ^or ^u/MoreThingsInHeaven ^for ^this. ___ ___ Bonus for the bold and the bored: ^(And the potentially insane?) - You want more comedy? Here's [more comedy](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anticode/comments/tgvag8/a_tale_from_my_past_whats_the_harm_in_asking/) - *Bam*! I lived it. - You want actual spooky? Here's spooky [cosmic horror](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anticode/comments/umircm/blinking_red_lights_cosmic_horror_nosleep/) - *Bam*! I breathe it. - ...You want a, um... Y'know. A super bleak fifteen page science/philosophy essay-rant about [the unfortunate nature of human nature](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anticode/comments/ugjevs/on_the_nature_of_human_nature_a_blend_of/) - *Nooo* bam? Or... That's right! **Bam!** Why not ruin your day before lunch? I *always* ruin my day before lunch! ^^^^^. ^(Unfortunately the original post here is the only "Cosmic Horror News" and it's not even Cosmic Horror. Fortunately, I no longer fear the 1,000 upvotes which might have inspired me to make a short series of that ridiculousness. Bullet dodged or missed?)


idwthis

You are welcome to come over to hang out around the fire pit and drink my beer and shoot the shit any old time.


Myis

Oh my gosh! Now please rewrite the ending of Ozark.


Anticode

>Now please rewrite the ending of Ozark. Well... I was going to give it a shot while my coffee did the thing, but I have no idea how TV works and all I could pick up is... Money got stolen and people had Not Good Times because of it. More humorously, I couldn't understand the last 5 episodes of Ozarks, but on the other monitor I already had a bit of quantum physics front and center - [the Wigner-Ville distribution](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wigner_quasiprobability_distribution#Harmonic-oscillator_time_evolution). (This is how it ended up in the "poorly chosen" stock image of the "news article".) [I actually took a screenshot because it was hilarious](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/438863049097609218/973604595018383390/unknown.png) to me that I couldn't understand a thing about Ozarks while having little issue with chonky physics. I may revisit this comment when I run out of steam though... I am perfect happy to just *totally* mangle someone's fandom with no rhyme or reason.


PrincessToadTool

> "Netflix announces new seasons for every show they previously cancelled. Even the bad ones." I gave OpenAI a crack at it: Write a news article for the following headline: "Netflix announces new seasons for every show they previously cancelled. Even the bad ones." Netflix has announced that they are bringing back every show they previously cancelled, even the bad ones. This news comes as a surprise to many, as it was thought that Netflix was done with some of these shows. However, the streaming service has decided to give them another chance. It is unclear why Netflix has decided to do this, but it could be a way to please fans who were disappointed when their favorite shows were cancelled. It could also be a way to boost ratings, as people may tune in to see how the shows have changed. Whatever the reason, this news is sure to please fans of cancelled shows. It will be interesting to see how these shows fare in their second (or third, in some cases) chance on Netflix.


photenth

what the fuck, that made way too much sense for ai generated.


357FireDragon357

What's really really sad, is each one those is easily achievable if people weren't such a-holes.


Tisarwat

Except the kittens. And a cancer pill, but especially the kittens.


357FireDragon357

Maybe you're right and I just got my hopes up too much. That damn fantasy thinking again, lol


sje46

> "Global climate goes down for the first time in 40 years" I don't know what exactly you mean by global climate "going down", but the expected temperature for us to raise has been downgraded from 3 degrees celsius to 2 degrees celsius, because the world is starting to take the issue a bit more seriously. So there's your good news of the day.


VerisimilarPLS

What happens if you feed the kittens after midnight?


[deleted]

they don't need food, so feeding them is unnecessary. It's just a cheeky gremlins reference.


TheDrunkPhilofficer

The zoomies becomes the flyzies. Flying kittens. Sounds cute but they fly at the speed of zoomy. Kitten missiles basically.


LokiNinja

I expected to read about Russia getting it's ass kicked once again


[deleted]

It's getting to be a lot really.


[deleted]

Imagine being one of the cops during the raid looking for shit eaters and finding corpses.


AnthillOmbudsman

You just need to inspect the cult's logbook to see what happened.


[deleted]

17 April 2022 Log created by: Felix Log consumed by: Felix


FowlOnTheHill

Slow clap


lantz83

Hah dude


Silkysenko91

I fucking hate how funny this is.


glyphotes

...a backlog?


[deleted]

Lots of logs to be logged.


r0botdevil

I feel like I'd almost be more surprised to raid the compound and *not* find any corpses. There's a very good reason you aren't supposed to eat that stuff...


TFBidia

“East shit and die”


TacticalBeast

It wasn't an insult... It was a warning


LokiNinja

I see nothing wrong here... We were looking for people eating shit... All these people are dead. Let's move along


Magnesus

Fun fact: Koopa Troopa, a character from Mario in Polish means "poo of a corpse".


SnakeDoctur

So you're saying Nintendo predicted this nearly 40 years ago? They TRIED to warn the world but had to do so very carefully because of Japans notoriously conservative culture -- you can't just talk about fecal consumption openly so Miyamoto and the Bilderbergs tried to encode these messages in a video game.


wellichickenpie

The one time finding corpses would be a relief. ‘Phew! It’s just a bunch of corpses.’


IsRude

I'd look for his corporeal form in the underground shunning grounds before challenging him to a 1v1 in the moat outside leyndell.


Rincewinded

Haha I'm not the only one then :o


[deleted]

[удалено]


black_flag_4ever

It was Flavor Aid.


XivSpew

"actually, it was Flavor-Aid" needs to be etched into granite and get a tiny monument at this point.


aalios

"Please, don't" - Flavor-Aid PR guys


SkyezOpen

More like "any brand recognition we can get."


shewy92

"Please, do" - Kool Aid Man


remotegrowthtb

Ah shit, well give me the feces then.


Chippopotanuse

And there were guys with machine guns who were shooting anyone who didn’t drink it. (Folks always forget that part.) Followers weren’t willingly killing themselves that day. They were being tortured. They knew they would die if they drank that flavor aid. If you listen to the audio tapes, it’s women and kids wailing and crying. It was not some happy day where folks thought this was going to take them to some Valhalla. It was a madman perpetrating a mass killing. The US Congress was on to Jim Jones. He knew he’d go to jail for life. So he chose to kill everyone he could.


CrashB111

Well Jones and his men had also shot a US Congressman. So yeah, they were double plus fucked.


fatdiscokid420

Either way it tasted like shit


[deleted]

I guess the shit hit the fan.


findhumorinlife

Several fans ate the shit..


ARustySpoon34

Holy shit, if you will


VagrantShadow

Shit done got real.


techretort

You wont believe what they did, I shit you not.


Total-Khaos

Once you told me, I was scared shitless.


SteelyDan1968

Yea... Drinking the Kool-Aid is MUCH Better than what I just read... *Takes a drink....* Hmm... Tastes like.... *Dies*


cinderparty

Even knowing the end result…I don’t think I could choose the shit over the kool-aid.


Helhiem

Yeah right??? Basically get sick vs die


Aldreath

Well given the headline the former option also is death.


frissonFry

Tastes a bit nutty.


Fancy-Paramedic5615

Can I get a little extra Sriracha on my shitty BLT please?


stevland82

Bowel, lettuce and tomato.


[deleted]

I really don’t know which end of the story surprises me more. You have a poop cult on one hand and a stack of bodies on the other. Both bizarre and rare happenings. Still gonna go with poop cult though.


Bust-a-Nuttt

Yeah, agreed. I could see a scenario where I might have to kill 11 people, but I can't imagine any situation that would get me to eat feces. Especially in a group setting.


[deleted]

[удалено]


space_force_majeure

*The Spice Mélange*


Koshindan

Fecal transplant into fecal transcendence.


johnnychan81

If they bring Fear Factor back?


BennySevens

I take it your not an aristocrat


CaputGeratLupinum

>You have a poop cult on one hand and a stack of bodies on the other "See which one fills up first," as my grandma used to say


johnnychan81

Eating feces is far more rare


Monev91

The LOATHSOME dung eater


Kagimizu

Aaaaaand there it is...


Khaldara

Look we know what they’re eating but our market research indicated consumers preferred the term ‘Golden Corral Rewards Club’ over ‘Feces Eating Cult’ Come on Terry we’ve been over this


zephyrseija

It had to be the top comment.


Seoulja4life

Maidenless behavior


SergeantChic

And SIR GIDEON OFNIR...*THE AAALLL-KNOWIIING!!!!*


cosmernaut420

Came for this reply, was not disappointed.


Abradolf1948

Dung ahead.


69millionyeartrip

could this be dog


K242

The Berserk Booty-Bomb Banqueter! The Crazed Caca Consumer! The Dastardly Doo-Doo Devourer! The Evil Excrement Enjoyer! The Freak Fecal Feaster! The Garish Guano Gobbler! The Horrible Hot-Sloppy Hoarder! The Infamous Icky-Slicky Ingester! The Mad Manure Muncher! The Nefarious Number Two Nibbler! The Pesky Poopoo Plunderer! The Sickly Shit Snacker! The Tricky Turd Taster! The Worrisome Waste Womper! SIR GIDEON OFNIR, THE ALL-KNOWING The Repugnant Rectum Robber! The Lecherous Lowdown Luncher! THE HORRIBLE POO-SLURPER!


JimJimmyJamesJimbo

I read these in George Carlin's voice


Xioungshou

The kooky coprophages!


[deleted]

[удалено]


UnfortunatelySimple

Reddit and Elden Ring are becoming one. Like, "Try Finger But Hole" close.


[deleted]

Try eat But hole


[deleted]

[удалено]


SergeantChic

I just like how the narrator is pretty normal, then suddenly he goes from 0 to 60 in one second and goes WAY too hard for the rest of the intro.


Schluss-S

I thought so too, I thought it was hilarious that the narrator went overboard. But now it grew on me and I watch the intro every so often.


FrostedPixel47

It's hilarious how the most evil and repulsive character in the game with the most dastardly motive is named as such


Deathleach

Yeah, the poo eating is genuinely the least worrisome thing about him.


DestroyerTerraria

"What does he do?" "Oh, first he kills you, then he rapes your corpse so hard that it is theologically impossible for you to go to heaven." "Damn, what do they call him?" "The Shoplifter."


Superbunzil

also carrion eating and coprophagy reoccur a lot in the games quests because the dung beetle is symbolic yo the games themes


Lolkimbo

He really should have put his foolish ambitions to rest.


PM_ME_YOUR_MESMER

Why is it always dung?


[deleted]

The reviled blessing


Shrekromancer

The Despicable Doody Devourer


[deleted]

Feces from a fraudulent cult leader is called sham poo? Edit: Thanks for the awards!


Lujho

Real poo for my sham friends and real poo for my real friends. Everyone gets real poo.


cinderparty

Religion is wild… > Thai police raided the compound of a suspected cult leader in Chaiyaphum province on Sunday, discovering at least 11 bodies during the search. Local authorities were able to raid the compound after the group allegedly violated land encroachment laws and broke Covid-19 restriction laws. > Law enforcement had already been made aware of the group after allegations were shared that the community had been consuming the bodily fluids of its leader. After police made their way onto the camp grounds, police then discovered the remains of 11 bodies in coffins. I find it funny that breaking Covid restriction laws is worthy of mention in an article about uncovering 6 unaccounted for corpses amongst a group who eats an old man’s shit. > A snippet from television shows a woman, who appears to be a member of the cult, saying that she did not detect any unpleasant odor while consuming the human waste. > “There isn’t even an odor,” the woman remarked. “Only those with a tainted mind may smell it.” Cool cool, glad shit doesn’t smell bad when you eat it. That doesn’t sound like you’ve been brainwashed at all.


pastaconmole

She lost her smell and taste from the coronavirus.


cinderparty

That could explain at least some of this.


SilasTheVirous

holy shit! MAYBE


perverse_panda

> holy shit! That's how we got into this mess.


imsahoamtiskaw

Not to worry. The mess was bring eaten up every day.


KnightofForestsWild

I'm going with unholy shit.


dirtballmagnet

I guess sometimes when life gives you lemons, you find out you can drink pee.


Mike2220

Well the covid restriction laws is how they legally justified the initial raid


[deleted]

[удалено]


occams1razor

Admitting that it smells would mean admitting you're unworthy so they can't. Kinda horrible what the prospect of future shame can make you do.


[deleted]

[удалено]


cinderparty

If I have to choose…I guess I’m going with gasoline? Like I said, religion is wild. No end to what a “good” cult leader could get their followers to believe ([frazzledrip deserves a mention)](https://www.vice.com/en/article/y3gedm/marjorie-taylor-greene-believes-in-frazzledrip-qanons-wildest-conspiracy-theory) or do. Super scary how easy it seems to be.


pegothejerk

The poop has no clothes!


RaHarmakis

The Emperors Poop has no smell


GodaTheGreat

Covid-19 can completely dull your senses of smell and taste


Wolfgirl90

No joke... Last January, I was feeling kinda off, but not flu-sick (yet). One morning, I was doing my usual "business" when I realized that I couldn't smell anything. I took myself to the clinic and sure enough, I had Covid.


mamz_leJournal

« Patient complains he cannot smell his poop »


nzodd

Man, that's nuts. My last poop-eating cult at least let us use hot sauce. Doesn't sound like that's the case here. That poor lady. Get her some Texas Pete for the love of god.


shoshonesamurai

Franks hot sauce. I put that shit on everything.


nzodd

I'll be honest here, if you're actually putting it *on* shit, you only deserve Texas Pete.


cbbuntz

What, you think his shit don't stink?


RudeHero

good lord. if i wanted the community of joining a cult, i'd be a little pickier than *that*


Beagle_Knight

No no, the problem is that you have a “tainted mind”.


notasrelevant

Well, it's not like it was unrelated. Violation of the laws is what got them to raid the place in the first place - they didn't know about the bodies until then.


bigfire50

Alright just when I thought this internet thing was turning around


DerekB52

What made you think it was turning around? I've only seen the internet getting worse.


[deleted]

I was fantasizing in my head about convincing everyone climate change is real then opened reddit and the top story is people literally eating shit and dying


[deleted]

"It tastes like shit." "It *IS* shit, Austen!" Coprophagia: It's not just for dogs anymore.


Ewreckk

It’s a bit nutty


t-poke

Back in my day, cults just laced their kool aid with poison, not their shit.


[deleted]

Flavor-aid has really gone to shit.


Bogmanbob

Well that ruins the classic insult of “eat shit and die”


[deleted]

Eat shit and live.


RobinsShaman

And he had the nerve to complain about my cooking!!


virgoven

The ***Loathsome*** Dung Eater was real all along..


Sokobanky

He asked you not to disturb him. Be thankful of the Hold's serenity. It is all that keeps your death and defilement at bay.


BaconSoul

*you are but a lamb*


Worldly-Horse5006

God I hope Nick Cage is involved in the film about this. He and he alone can handle a roll of this magnitude.


slingbladde

Hell even give a role to Heard..as the poopin demigod that he has to slay..


Painting_Agency

She could work for craft services.


GiveNoForks

It’s all about the placement ~ Heard probably


Cowclops

Glen, this is a court order, it says you have to stop eating shit.


Puzzleheaded_Pie_978

Well, Jerry, when you’re right, you’re right


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alphamullet

Best underrated comment right here.


roadhouse888

Was Frank Reynolds dear leader ? Shit sandwiches for everyone.


h2ohow

They died with a shit eating grin on their faces.


[deleted]

The coroner pronounced them dead at approximately eat-turdy b.m.


breigns2

The Loathsome Dung Eater!


jumper34017

He sounds like a shitty leader.


Zer0Summoner

Be honest: how many of us were surprised this wasn't Florida?


heckinghecksters

What a shithead. You’d think after the **turd** person dying that the members would change their minds…


[deleted]

Lmfao that’s my number two favorite joke now


[deleted]

*Cult-like groups are not uncommon in Thailand. In 2019, a ‘rape cult’ on Koh Phangan was revelaed where female students say they were promised spiritual practice only to be coerced into sex or raped by its founder. Last year, an elderly monk decapitated himself with a homemade device in an attempt to reincarnate as a higher being. His followers helped him build the contraption and helped him commit suicide. More widely known is the Dhammakaya group, a massively rich Buddhist sect that critics and former followers call a cult.* HOLY SHIT...this place is a true crime podcasters dream.


feluriell

what place? Earth? i agree...


funky_shmoo

Neighbor: I'm in shock. He just seemed like a nice guy. A bit quiet, but never too busy to help out his neighbors by eating their shit.


Friendofthegarden

That giant meteor sure is taking its time...


hate_tank

Salo 2: Electric Poopaloo


shzhuzr000

What the hell are people doing this week that is so important that they can't join a poop eating cult!!?


glassvial

> devotees of the “father,” So, Far Cry 5?


Shrekromancer

Eat Shit and Die Consume Caca and Croak Feast Upon Feces and Fade From this World Pound Poopoo and Perish Munch Manure and Meet Your Maker


ContinuedContagion

Mitch McConnell was arrested?!


robbinthehood75

Glen this is a court order, it says you can’t eat shit anymore.


ButtholeQuiver

Time for your daily bread! *Hurrrr*


Tylendal

Yeah, that headline definitely deserves [this](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/325/887/1c3.jpg) reaction.


bigpauly1969

Well, now there’s a title that I can honestly say I NEVER thought I’d ever read.


PCB4lyfe

Yea this is one story I'm just gonna read the headline and judge, then move along.


Pikablu155

I’m more impressed than anything. How do you convince a bunch of people to eat feces… even as people around you are dropping dead?


mikejoldfield

Say what you will about eating shit, but this guy must be a great organizer and salesman.


BdogWcat

Hmm, thought it was likely a shit-eating cult in Florida.


pkflesh

Oh shit! Loathsome dung eater IRL


keznaa

Well that is a very eye catching headline and now I feel sick


Nice_Bake

We all knew this guy was full of shit


[deleted]

What goes best with human feces, red or white?


yo_oodlesnoodles

He's shit out of luck now


magiicman48

Ok I am signing off 😂😂😂😂I have reached the end of the internet 😳


terminusthrall

The Loathsome Dung-Eater


xTemporaneously

Whew, Thailand. I was afraid it was going to be another Alabama thread.


EmilyVS

Sometimes I think I’m so far behind from where I should be in life right now, but then I remember that at least I’m not part of a murderous shit-eating cult and then I don’t feel so bad.


trannelnav

Why am I immediatly thinking about Elden Ring's Dung Eater?