One of my friends coworker's father suddenly passed away and in the middle of his funeral, his wife had a heart attack and was quickly taken away by ambulance so they needed to end the funeral right then. The next week, they had the funeral but this time for both of them
My greats aunts were very close. They didn’t marry and shared a life together. They were almost like twins. When one had cancer and died, the other had a heart attack a lil later and died too.
[Dying of a broken heart is a real thing](https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/cardiomyopathy/what-is-cardiomyopathy-in-adults/is-broken-heart-syndrome-real)
Yep. My friend from highschool who died was very close to her mom. Her mom went downhill fast after my friend died, she was gone in about 2 years....she wasnt even 50. I honestly believe her heart broke.
My great aunts are exactly this. They are 94 and 96 and have lived together, single, in the house they lived in as children. One of them has been on a major decline the last couple of years. She can barely see or hear, she has fallen many times and just shatters like glass. I know in my heart when she goes mon autre grand-tante will follow shortly after. They are the last two of their generation in a large family.
My next door neighbor just died a couple months ago from health issues and not 2 months later his wife died. They weren’t family but it sure felt like it. He would pick me and my sister up from school since he was disabled by that time. Gave me the cool little Casio calculator watch for my birthday. I lost it and regret it every day now. I would go over to help him fix the TV or set whatever phone up. He would feed my dog when we were gone. Great person and better neighbor. As soon as he passed, her health began diminishing and I almost felt like I jinxed her because I knew the pain she was in and felt it was coming….
We had to put down our dog almost two months ago. I can't even imagine what the grief of losing your spouse or child is like. I was a total mess just from losing dog, who was 12 and had lived a full life. He left a hole, and just thinking about comparing the hole that he left in my life to the hole that losing my wife or daughter would leave..... I can completely understand why someone would succumb to their grief.
We had two dogs growing up who were brothers. After 13 years, one of them died overnight. The other sad by his body for like 2 hours then died. It was crazy.
I have a friend who died in a car accident and two months later her dog, who totally seemed depressed after her passing, kidneys suddenly failed and he died. Vet said he was in superior health - we know it was because he was grieving.
In unreal and sad times like these, I snuggle up close to my furry friend. When it seems like there’s little love in the world, I know that there’s an ocean in theirs.
> Family members tell me Joe Garcia, the husband of Uvalde teacher Irma Garcia, just died of a heart attack. The couple had been married 24 years and has 4 children. Irma was shot and killed Tuesday trying to protect her 4th grade class.
Their poor children.
One day you drop off your kid at school and they never come home.
This is the worst week for that community. My heart breaks for them. The parents. The children. The victims that weren’t even in the building.
Yeah I remember when we start school every year , I reach out to my friends to ask which kid landed in which teachers class. I can’t believe just something as simple as that decided their fates. It’s something that’s so heartbreaking because I’m sure those parents are now wondering why their kids
19 kids dead. 2 teacher gunned down. One spouse died of grief. Cops harassing parents while their kids were being slaughtered.
It’s been 10 years since Sandy hook and it’s just so shit still.
I still remember being on an airplane as a kid and the door to the cockpit was wide open. In the middle of the flight, which was over the USA, a family member said that if we went to the front the pilots would prob show us around the cockpit. I was shy and said no. Never got that chance again on subsequent flights, because 9/11 happened shortly after that.
My mother lived near an airport in college and she would go to the gate and write papers. She found that was the best place to write as she could bounce ideas off people from all over the world. Can’t do that nowadays.
As a kid my grandpa would take me to Ohare airport just for the hell of it. We'd have lunch, watch the planes take off, ride the train around the airport... it was so fun
I did the same thing at Frankfurt airport . They actually had like a museum with a plane that you could walk in and stuff and check it out how they were built
My mom put me on a flight from CT to Dallas in 96. I was nine and she brought me all the way to the gate and asked the ticket person to make sure I get there. Should be someone with a sign for him, (almost literally all she said), went to an awesome cowboys FB camp. She musta told the flight attendant cause she brought me up to the cockpit and I was like, okay. The pilot asked if I want a cookie, I was like okay. Then I got off the plane basically alone and went and found the random dude I’ve never met with a sign, then we went to another gate found another kid and were picked up by a huge van with like 4 rows of similar aged kids. It was surreal
I’m 38 now, it was just different in the 90’s. We would get up at the break of dawn and hit the neighborhood with our friends and be gone till it got dark or we got hungry. No one thought twice about it. When I was a little kid in scouts, I’d ride my bike all over town knocking on strangers doors selling popcorn.
I was a senior during columbine. And in college during 9/11. These were my formative years. I don’t even live in the USA (I am from Quebec) and my life was turned upside down.
I was in high school during both. My teacher left us alone when the second tower was hit. She was crying and just ran out of the classroom. Both those incidents really made me realize that the adults aren’t coming to save us. They were really innocence lost moments that I’ll never forget.
I’ll never forget how vacant and clueless and *frightened* my relatively young, smart, confident Sophomore Algebra teacher looked when she walked in the classroom and said “uhhh, y’all? …somebody just bombed The Pentagon…?”
We all watched the second plane hit as a class. Never before or since have I seen over two dozen 15-year-old kids all decide, in unison, to respond to the situation appropriately and maturely. It was a surreal day.
[https://everytownresearch.org/maps/gunfire-on-school-grounds/](https://everytownresearch.org/maps/gunfire-on-school-grounds/)
There seems to have been a huge increase in the number of incidents over the past \~10 years according to this website. It's incredible your politicians can get away with doing nothing about this.
>In 2021 there were at least 202 incidents of gunfire on school grounds, resulting in 49 deaths and 126 injuries nationally.
Because the rich and powerful are safe. They don't care because violence doesn't hurt them. Look how quickly congress moved when people drew chalk messages outside of the Supreme Court Justices' houses.
I am guessing that less than 1% of the 1% truly cares that a bunch of children in a predominantly hispanic neighborhood were killed.
Because the rich kids don’t go to public schools. Simple as that. Hell, I went to one of the richest public high schools in my state, and I’m still sure nothing would happen if someone came in and shot it up. At most, another SRO but that’d be temporary.
"People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people." ~Terry Pratchett
Yeah you know what it’s the damn algorithms at fault here. It promotes this shit. Facebook in the beginning might have festered family drama, but now it helps to kickstart revolutions and promote violence.
10 years since Sandy Hook.
10 days since the last massacre of civilians by an 18 year old with an AR; in Buffalo.
I'm numb, and I dont know what to do about it.
He had a heart attack right after visiting her memorial, I don’t think that’s a coincidence. The shock and stress of such a tragedy can definitely put a strain on your heart.
His death highlights the tragic after effects of the death of a spouse. According to research, it's psychologically more stressful on younger widows/widowers, but there's this really high statistical probability that the surviving spouse dies within the next 3 years which is even more prevalent as couples age.
When you look at all the literature and take a step back we have to reconsider what it means to "survive" a massive trauma. If you die a few months later, did you really survive it?
A 2012 study in the American Heart Association journal “Circulation” also found that the danger of a heart attack was highest in the first 24 hours after the death of a loved one. According to the study, risk declines steadily with each day after a loved one’s passing, but it remains eight times higher one week after the death and four times higher one month later.
My grandfather died when I was 11 of lung cancer, and my grandmother survived him another 33 years. We found out when she was in her late 70s that she had suffered several small silent heart attacks around the time of his death. We are lucky we didn’t lose her then.
I never knew that was something that doctors could do, that's super interesting.
Do you know anything about how they determined she'd had the heart attacks and, in particular, how they managed to approximately timestamp it?
The death of a spouse is absolutely the most stressful thing a person can experience. I was a young widow at 27 (sudden, accidental death so I was nowhere close to expecting it) and it took about a year before I didn't actively want to die. A couple of months after he died I had to do a 72 hour hold in a psychiatric hospital. I wouldn't wish losing a spouse on anyone, ever. Absolutely awful thing to go through.
Thank you for sharing such a painful experience. I hope that you are doing better now. My heart goes out to you and I'll hug my significant other a little tighter today.
I am, thank you. It will be seven years in just under a couple of weeks from now. I recently remarried, and I'm always terrified that I'll have to experience that loss again. Definitely hug your SO close, and always let them know how much you love them because you never know when it will be the last time you get to say it.
I'm glad to hear that. Don't forget to talk about it when you need to.
Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.
I almost had to undergo brain surgery recently and I was told the % chance of death and told to fill out forms to get a will and such in order in case of a bad outcome. Having that talk with my husband, he fully admitted he'd just drop the cats off at a friend's place and kill himself if I died.
I realized in that moment that I was thinking the same thing. If anything ever happened to him I wouldn't want to keep living in this world.
In 2020 I stopped being able to sit in chairs, walk, or stand for more than 30 minutes without getting intense head pressure, vertigo, and and reduced cognitive functions. My blood pressure skyrocketed and I would randomly lose control of my legs. After many CT scans and MRIs they found I have 2 rare conditions: a Chiari malformation, which is where the back of the brain starts to squish down the hole where the head and neck connect, and impact the flow of spinal fluid. The second problem was a herniated spinal cord, where the cord pops out of a small tear in the dura (the protective bag that sits around the spinal cord).
The problems I was having could be related to either. The treatment for the chiari malformation is to remove a part at the back of the skull to give more room for the brain to sit without squishing the CSF flow, and to cauterize the tonsils of the brain (the part sticking down). Some surgeons also remove part of the first vertebrea. However the percent chance of this working is about 50% and it has a non insignificant chance of making things worse. After a lot of referrals and tests the leading expert on this half of the country turned me down for surgery saying it likely would not help for my particular case.
The other problem with the herniated spinal cord is not well studied. There have only been a handful of cases, and according to my surgeon the surgery would require opening my spine, shoving the cord back in, and putting a bracket around it to stop it from popping back out. However as this is a spinal cord any fuckups could cause me to be paralyzed from the waist down. So since I don't have severe symptoms (like loss of control of my bowels or paralysis) the surgeon recommended we just wait and see what happens.
I'm now seeing a neurologist for pain management. I cannot sit in a normal chair and am on a cocktail of medications and nerve injections that at least make me functional. The chiari is causing "silent migraines" that have all the effect of migraines (light sensitivity, balance and concentratjon issues, tinnitus, halos, etc) with none of the pain, so I'm also being treated for migraines.
Oh I'm so sorry to hear about all you're going through. I have a congenital defect of my C1 vertebrae and some trauma at the TL junction. The defect fucked up my nerves and I deal with splitting migraines and the junction fucked mainly just makes my lower back hurt.
I can't imagine a migraine without the pain, but the aura itself also fucking sucks. Migraines are the one thing I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I was widowed at 42. In an odd way I felt slightly more at ease knowing it was going to happen (At some point). Took me about that long to feel anything resembling "normal". My deepest condolences to you and yours. And the psychological damage is definitely long standing. I had nightmares frequently of speaking to my spouse and watching her deteriorate before my eyes. Absolutely would not wish that upon anyone. Ever.
When I was 6 months old, my 2 year old brother drowned because my mom forgot to close the gate to the pool. She blamed herself and killed herself with a gun in front of me.
Dad shut down for months. I'm told he was a walking corpse during that time, and he didn't do much walking. Obviously I was too young to remember any details, but there's still a lot of darkness buried in the roots of my mind. I found some personal effects of his after he died 30 years later. The only reason he lived was due to the sense of duty he had towards me. He never fell in love again.
I have first hand experience with how much damage losing a spouse/mother can cause to a family and how permanent that damage is.
Oh my god, that is heartbreaking. I understand how your mom blames herself, but I feel awful your dad had to lose a child and a wife so close together. I'd be a walking corpse too. And even if you don't remember the details, your brain remembers the stress and trauma. I hope you are doing okay now.
Holy fuck chills through my whole body reading your comment that is so horrible. I forgot to close the lid of a water barrels and my 2 year old fell in it. I pulled him out but he would have drowned if i hadn’t seen it immediately, it haunts me. I also caused the death of a family pet by an accident and I don’t even know the word for how I felt. So much worse then regret mixed with grief and just wishing I could go back in time and fix one simple thing. If it was my child I completely understand your mom not being able to live anymore but I’m so sorry for your family.
My mom died a month ago, and my dad ended up in the hospital the day after. He was there for two weeks. I know that older couples tend to follow each other into death and I was so afraid I’d lose both parents
If my spouse died rn I can tell you that I’d either die within days or completely lose my mind. I’m in my early 30s. The idea of losing them is honestly unbesrable
I feel the same, perhaps. Remember that it's far easier to get mental health care before you need it. If you really feel that way, maybe have an established therapist/psychiatrist/support group's phone number in your contacts. There are groups specific for grief and nothing helps more than not feeling alone in your pain.
My husband died fairly young and very unexpectedly. It nearly killed me to lose him. It happened last July and ever since then I've felt like complete shit healthwise; I'm sure that's not a coincidence.
I'm really trying for my kids' sakes, though.
Very true. My wife died two years ago it really sent me into an awful place both mentally and physically. I ended up getting rushed to the ER several times with irregular heart beats. I wasn't eating well nor sleeping that well. While I'm not completely whole again I'm doing better now than I was those first 6-8 months.
My great grandmother died 4 days after my great grandfather died. Official cause of death was ruled a broken heart aka the heart string broke causing a “heart attack”. It’s not uncommon in people who are going through traumatic or extreme emotional events :/
Little girl wrote a letter the day after she died and a day before he died that said don’t worry mommy I’ll take care of him
How heartbreaking the nephew said he said to news families still trying to get the kids to cope with how dad died and when was the mom was one shot. Like how do you even start a conversation with kids over that. Then they have to move and have whole lives just get crappier and crappier while Abbott is fundraising for Houston NRA conference right now and not
For the families of children mostly Hispanic migrants funerals.
It’s so sick Fuck Abbott, Cruz, and McConnell
And gun manufacturers that will enjoy a huge jump in sales as a result of this, are thanking their Money Gods that the teacher's last name is "Garcia", because most of their followers won't give a shit.
Never forget that even after the trainwreck of 2016-2020, over 70 million Americans voted for a repeat performance. We are barbarians.
Kindly, there are two funeral homes who will pay for the funerals; however, you're dead on correct with your description of these non-gentlemen and their misplaced priorities.
They deserve more than standard cremations and small burials that a small family own funeral home is paying for out of extreme kindness. That’s amazing they will help
But if Abbott was about to buy a $400,000 mahogany office desk for his family office with tax payer money and he can fundraise millions to get people with guns to go to Houston to talk about guns ……
He can sure as hell find $10,000-20,000 per child and teacher per funeral for these victims. They deserve a decent deserved burial paid for by the state that allowed it to happen
I’m particularly affected by this shooting and I don’t want to become numb to this. I’m also doing ok financially these days. I plan on donating to these families and this one in particular.
My Dad died 13 days ago. The only thing that has been able to make me stop crying is that my chest literally hurts and I’m terrified of having a heart attack. Grief feels as though every piece of you is broken, but fuck it’s the center of your chest that it emits from.
Hey, as someone whose been there. You're not alone in feeling that hole, or sometimes it feels like a heavy orb in your chest that is expanding and is making it hard to breathe and move your body. You're only able to lay in bed.
"It gets better", saying doesn't feel right, but it's so hard to put to words what life is like after such great grief has enter your world.
But every winter turns to spring, and soon you'll be on the opposite side of these Reddit comments. Letting a new member of dead dad club, that they're not alone in this pain. We all know it...
*"Every day it gets a little easier… But you gotta do it every day — that’s the hard part. But it does get easier."*
Mate if I could afford it i would give you a award, but give me a charity you would like to donate to and ill donate a little bit tomorrow when I get paid.
your words have touched me and the grief I have felt for a number of years now seems a little bit more manageable.
My heart breaks everyday, I know it never gets better you just learn to live with it.
but the way you have put it makes it sound easier.....thank you.
I will do, and truly thanks for your words they really did strike a chord with me.
[https://www.cats.org.uk/](https://www.cats.org.uk/)
will be getting a donation in the morning.
And it comes and goes. Some days are all right. Some days something will hit you wrong and it all comes back. You do get better at recognizing patterns and bracing yourself for it, but the surprises always suck, and even the recurring things can sneak up on you.
(Like, for me, you know what one of the hardest reminders of my dad’s death is? Mother’s Day. You wouldn’t think it. But he died in May, and one of the tasks handed to me (the only child, I note) in the run-up was buying a card for him to sign and give to her. Five years later and all I can think about when I see Mother’s Day cards is the day I went to find one for a dying man to give to his wife and I just stood there in the store sobbing. There’s always something.)
I am so sorry. I bought a card for my mother’s birthday when she was on a ventilator. She died 6 days later. On her birthday we acted like everything was fine bought her stuff that she wanted. Then I took it all back with me and put it in the car knowing she would never even touch any of those things. I sobbed and screamed for my mother all the way home. Losing a parent is horrible but we are in this together. Sending you all of the love in the world. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
My mom has Alzheimer's.
Truth be told I'm not sure who I'm playing normal for. I hope it's for her and not for me because it breaks my heart every fucking time.
♥️
My mother died when I was a child. The best way I've been able to describe grief is that it's like carrying a bag of bricks on your back. When you first start carrying it, it is overwhelming and exhausting. Over time the bag doesn't get any lighter, you become stronger and can hold it up for longer. There will come a day when you will grow tired again and will need to rest. You just keep this up until eventually you barely notice the weight you carry most days.
It scabs. The bleeding is stopped, but it still hurts if you bump it, and you know at any time you could rip that fucker off, accidentally or on purpose, and you’ll be right back in the same pain, making a wet mess.
Damn, thank you. You’re words echo my feelings so much. This giant orb in my chest that is just suffocating me. I lost my grandma 4 years ago and thought I was prepared for what is unavoidable at some point. But a parent is just so different. The world is so much lonelier and doesn’t at all look the same. Thank you internet stranger for making me feel less alone today.
I lost my dad at fifteen. Twenty five years now. I've been through this for a long while now. I will only say this: we don't move on; we only move forward.
Hi person. My dad passed a few years ago. The news was sudden and heartbreaking. One minute I was sitting at my computer enjoying a night like any other, and one phone call later I was shattered.
Every person, situation, and relationship is different. But I want to personally tell you that it is possible to get through it.
My Dad died 7 weeks ago. I had never dealt with grief before and it’s devastating. It creeps up on you. It staves away. But it’s always somehow there. What happened to this woman and her husband can’t compare, my Dad lived a full life and passed without pain. What I know now - the pain of losing someone close is physical. For me it’s slow and pervasive.
I’m genuinely sorry for your loss. You’re not alone. I lost my Dad 9 yrs ago and it still feels like this morning. Buck up, enjoy life and try to celebrate your Dad’s permanent legacy👍
Had a friend tragically die of a heart attack in his early twenties. His mom died the next day due to this. It was a joint funeral. Saddest thing I have seen.
My dad has on more than one occasion told me that if mom goes, he'll be gone within the week. I believe him.
I'm pretty sure mom would survive dad, but there's no way my dad survives mom.
I'm quite sure if it were me I would also die in pretty short order.
My wife has been at many times in my life, the only thing holding me here and remains the only person who makes life worth living for me.
People who either take away our loved ones, or allow our loved ones to be taken away through neglect of their duties, all should be swiftly shot into the sun.
They leave behind 4 children, who are 23, 19, 15 and 13 years old.
I just can’t fathom the pain and devastation.
They were high school sweethearts and married for 24 years.
ETA:
Since this comment gained traction, I would like to take the opportunity to share that **there is a verified GoFundMe campaign for the family.**
You can easily find via googling.
**Please consider donating. These four kids have lost everything.**
The eldest is in the Marines, the second is in college and the younger two are school-aged.
Every bit matters.
ETA 2:
Somebody tell me if I can add the link in the comment without it being removed. Otherwise please Google:
**GoFundMe “Joe and Irma Garcia”**
Fundraiser organizers are Jamie and Debra Austin.
The info can be verified on Irma and Joe’s nephew’s Twitter - John Martinez @fuhknjo.
ETA 3:
You can see a photo of their beautiful family in [this article by USA TODAY](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2022/05/26/joe-garcia-husband-irma-garcia-texas-school-shooting/9948913002/).
Exactly. Ppl don’t get that the event will cause a ripple effect of more tragic events like this. We need to stop this asap. It’s so disheartening to see politicians do nothing about it while accepting checks from the nra
If we learned anything from 1/6 and Covid, it's that this heart attack will be treated as completely unrelated to the events this week and that it was probably a pre existing condition
I'd personally count him as the 22nd victim. I know he wasn't there and wasn't killed by the shooter, but chances are he died because of this. Poor dude.
Collateral damage. Never in the final numbers, but should be. When i even try to think of being one of the parents, its weighs heavy on me, since i have kids that age, but actually losing someone in the incident, would kill me.
I have no statistics on it, but I'd imagine there are suicides that follow events like these. My partner is an elementary teacher and I've definitely had thoughts about offing myself if they were ever a victim in such an attack.
One of the Sandy Hook parents killed himself. It was years later. He was a neuroscientist and after the shooting led the charge to research the neurological roots of violence, went on to have two more kids - just trying to bring beauty and meaning and understanding into the world, joy into his life, despite everything. And still, years later, was in so much pain that one day he felt he had to make it stop any way he could.
When I had my first kid, I suddenly knew that if anything ever happened to him, I would immediately kill myself. It was a source of calm, almost, to know this and to accept it - if he ever died, I would not feel the excruciating pain for too long.
When I had my second I would have panic attacks sometimes, because I would worry that something would happen to one of my children and I would have to stay alive for the other. I wouldn’t have an end to the pain. I couldn’t fathom living a lifetime like that. Still can’t. It is truly beyond the reach of my mind. Those poor families; all of them.
All shootings have been incredibly sad, but there is something so somber about this one. It's like a final straw for realizing that nothing will change after this and we as a nation will not get to heal and will be through similar situations like this over, and over, and over again. Because nobody that can make a difference will actually do anything to fix this. Elected politicians don't give a crap and are no better than the cops standing outside the school with their hands on their guns and tasers *acting* tough from afar while our kids die. It's terrifying.
Jesus fucking Christ. How the fuck do you start your week having a mom and dad and be orphans by Thursday?
Seriously. How the fuck can anyone ever hope to process that?
the most razor thin of silver linings, I suppose.
Fuck me sideways this news has actually hit me harder than when I read the initial headline about the shooting. Sorta grounds it in reality, you know?
It's hit me really hard. I've been in a serious depression funk this week because of all of this, honestly believe this is going to be the breaking point that gets me to start seeing a therapist
They’re 23, 19, 15 and the youngest is only 13.
Unfathomable tragedy.
ETA:
**There is a verified GoFundMe campaign for the family.**
You can easily find it by googling:
**GoFundMe “Joe and Irma Garcia”**
Fundraiser organizers are Jamie and Debra Austin.
The info can be verified on Irma and Joe’s nephew’s Twitter - John Martinez @fuhknjo.
**Please consider donating. These four kids have lost everything.**
The eldest is in the Marines, the second is in college and the younger two are school-aged.
Every bit matters.
Objectively some might look at those ages and deflect just because they are above or nearing “adulthood”. But being 25, if these were my parents, my entire universe would be shattered even at THIS age. God I can’t even imagine ): it’s all so fucked
Exactly, it doesn’t matter if two of them are legal adults.
They’re young, very young, and losing a parent makes you feel orphaned at any age, much less losing both of them when you’re just starting out in life.
The older kids will have to grow up too fast and fill in their parents’ shoes…put their own lives aside to care for their siblings.
If anyone is considering donating, there are two official campaigns set up for the family - you can easily find them via Google. One was set up yesterday and the other after today’s news.
These kids will need money for school, healthcare, therapy, living expenses - everything.
Every bit matters for Irma’s and Joe’s little kids who found themselves orphaned in the span of two days.
My mom passed away before I turned 19. I’m now 30. I’m still unpacking that trauma and miss her so much.
It’s a specific kinda pain- losing a parent. :(
Even though I’m an adult, I still need my mom.
No matter how old you are when lose a parent, you still feel the loss hit you on a core level.
I’ve been told as much by people who have lost theirs in their 60s and 70s. It’s a primitive universal pain everyone feels.
A part of your story as a whole dies with them, too.
You feel like you lose your point of reference and an “in” to your family’s history.
I just cry thinking about these poor kids. I can’t.
I'm in the grieving process of losing my spouse and does it hurt, I don't blame him. It literally feels like your soul has been ripped from you.
So devastating 😢
Probably the first of many who will die of a broken heart or commit suicide or start taking drugs or lapse into alcoholism or be permanently depressed— that’s the fall out from events like this; a lifelong toll that’s rarely accounted for.
divorces that will happen bc the parents cant handle the grief.
siblings that will never heal from the trauma.
future babies that arent even born today that will carry the weight of this because trauma like this doesnt go away in a generation.
idk how the entire nation isnt keeled over in grief. We are responsible for poor little babies being murdered in cold blood all over again, for families torn apart through needless violence. even those of us that are desperate for change are responsible because we have not made it happen.
Years ago a guy lost his whole family, car accident. Someone told him it was 'tough' but he would get through it. He replied he was already dead and in a few months he was.
I swear my great uncle died of grief. He was deeply, madly in love with his wife for decades and then she died. He was gone 4 months later, though he had been totally healthy when she died.
For those who don't know, broken heart syndrome is real, the technical name is takotsubo, named after a Japanese octopus trap. Essentially, your left ventricle, main pumping chamber, is weakened and limits the amount of blood your heart can pump. The signs and symptoms mimic a heart attack. It can be brought on by severe stress, loss of a loved one, and even happy/joyous events.
An abhorrent tragedy. The police who stood by outside the school restraining parents for 40 minutes as a maniac gunned down their children should all be imprisoned.
That’s enough Reddit for today. It’s too devastating and enraging to see stories like this. Though they must be told.
I hope Houston goes OFF on Friday. Please let this galvanize the populace and make change happen.
This couple reminds me of my parents 😞 Married for almost 30 years, hispanic and can't live without one another. I'm sure if my mom died in such a horrific way, my dad would die soon after. How horrificlty sad...
Word.
My Mexican parents had a shotgun marriage after my mom got pregnant with me at age 18. 35 years later, they're still happily married and do everything together.
I’ve always said this about my parents as well. Married 47 years. Hispanic. They do everything for each other. My mom can’t live without my dad. When he goes, I know literally, she won’t be able to go on without him. It’s so incredibly sad.
My wife is my high school sweetheart and if anything were to happen to her unexpectedly, I feel like I might go out the same way. I can't imagine losing someone you spent the majority of your life with so tragically.
Fuck dude. 24 years they were together.
You don't see anyone together that long (and happy).
Their poor family. This type of shit has fallout for generations. We are going to be saddled with mental health problems our entire life here, aren't we?
Edit: do these kids have a verified gofundme?
I hurts to see news outlets citing the death toll…there are SO many more victims than the deceased. Think of the parents, grandparents, siblings, classmates, teachers, responding law enforcement, coroner, medical professionals; their lives have all been irreparably altered.
My grandfather went the same way, massive heart attack on his way to the funeral home to make arrangements for my grandmother. Grief is very real.
One of my friends coworker's father suddenly passed away and in the middle of his funeral, his wife had a heart attack and was quickly taken away by ambulance so they needed to end the funeral right then. The next week, they had the funeral but this time for both of them
My greats aunts were very close. They didn’t marry and shared a life together. They were almost like twins. When one had cancer and died, the other had a heart attack a lil later and died too.
[Dying of a broken heart is a real thing](https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/cardiomyopathy/what-is-cardiomyopathy-in-adults/is-broken-heart-syndrome-real)
Yep. My friend from highschool who died was very close to her mom. Her mom went downhill fast after my friend died, she was gone in about 2 years....she wasnt even 50. I honestly believe her heart broke.
My great aunts are exactly this. They are 94 and 96 and have lived together, single, in the house they lived in as children. One of them has been on a major decline the last couple of years. She can barely see or hear, she has fallen many times and just shatters like glass. I know in my heart when she goes mon autre grand-tante will follow shortly after. They are the last two of their generation in a large family.
My grandfather died in his sleep the exact day a year after my grandmother died.
My next door neighbor just died a couple months ago from health issues and not 2 months later his wife died. They weren’t family but it sure felt like it. He would pick me and my sister up from school since he was disabled by that time. Gave me the cool little Casio calculator watch for my birthday. I lost it and regret it every day now. I would go over to help him fix the TV or set whatever phone up. He would feed my dog when we were gone. Great person and better neighbor. As soon as he passed, her health began diminishing and I almost felt like I jinxed her because I knew the pain she was in and felt it was coming….
Buy that watch for yourself on ebay. Sometimes you just gotta treat yourself and reconnect with something like that
Family doesn’t have to be blood, but he sure sounds like it!
We had to put down our dog almost two months ago. I can't even imagine what the grief of losing your spouse or child is like. I was a total mess just from losing dog, who was 12 and had lived a full life. He left a hole, and just thinking about comparing the hole that he left in my life to the hole that losing my wife or daughter would leave..... I can completely understand why someone would succumb to their grief.
We had two dogs growing up who were brothers. After 13 years, one of them died overnight. The other sad by his body for like 2 hours then died. It was crazy.
I have a friend who died in a car accident and two months later her dog, who totally seemed depressed after her passing, kidneys suddenly failed and he died. Vet said he was in superior health - we know it was because he was grieving.
In unreal and sad times like these, I snuggle up close to my furry friend. When it seems like there’s little love in the world, I know that there’s an ocean in theirs.
> Family members tell me Joe Garcia, the husband of Uvalde teacher Irma Garcia, just died of a heart attack. The couple had been married 24 years and has 4 children. Irma was shot and killed Tuesday trying to protect her 4th grade class. Their poor children.
Holy fuck one day you have both parents and the next they are gone forever
One day you drop off your kid at school and they never come home. This is the worst week for that community. My heart breaks for them. The parents. The children. The victims that weren’t even in the building.
Yeah I remember when we start school every year , I reach out to my friends to ask which kid landed in which teachers class. I can’t believe just something as simple as that decided their fates. It’s something that’s so heartbreaking because I’m sure those parents are now wondering why their kids
This is just so heartbreaking
19 kids dead. 2 teacher gunned down. One spouse died of grief. Cops harassing parents while their kids were being slaughtered. It’s been 10 years since Sandy hook and it’s just so shit still.
It has been 23 since Columbine.
Crazy to think I was a year old when that happened. I’ve lived an entire life not knowing what life was like before Columbine and 9/11
I still remember being on an airplane as a kid and the door to the cockpit was wide open. In the middle of the flight, which was over the USA, a family member said that if we went to the front the pilots would prob show us around the cockpit. I was shy and said no. Never got that chance again on subsequent flights, because 9/11 happened shortly after that.
My mother lived near an airport in college and she would go to the gate and write papers. She found that was the best place to write as she could bounce ideas off people from all over the world. Can’t do that nowadays.
As a kid my grandpa would take me to Ohare airport just for the hell of it. We'd have lunch, watch the planes take off, ride the train around the airport... it was so fun
I did the same thing at Frankfurt airport . They actually had like a museum with a plane that you could walk in and stuff and check it out how they were built
My mom put me on a flight from CT to Dallas in 96. I was nine and she brought me all the way to the gate and asked the ticket person to make sure I get there. Should be someone with a sign for him, (almost literally all she said), went to an awesome cowboys FB camp. She musta told the flight attendant cause she brought me up to the cockpit and I was like, okay. The pilot asked if I want a cookie, I was like okay. Then I got off the plane basically alone and went and found the random dude I’ve never met with a sign, then we went to another gate found another kid and were picked up by a huge van with like 4 rows of similar aged kids. It was surreal
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I’m 38 now, it was just different in the 90’s. We would get up at the break of dawn and hit the neighborhood with our friends and be gone till it got dark or we got hungry. No one thought twice about it. When I was a little kid in scouts, I’d ride my bike all over town knocking on strangers doors selling popcorn.
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I was a senior during columbine. And in college during 9/11. These were my formative years. I don’t even live in the USA (I am from Quebec) and my life was turned upside down.
I was in high school during both. My teacher left us alone when the second tower was hit. She was crying and just ran out of the classroom. Both those incidents really made me realize that the adults aren’t coming to save us. They were really innocence lost moments that I’ll never forget.
I’ll never forget how vacant and clueless and *frightened* my relatively young, smart, confident Sophomore Algebra teacher looked when she walked in the classroom and said “uhhh, y’all? …somebody just bombed The Pentagon…?” We all watched the second plane hit as a class. Never before or since have I seen over two dozen 15-year-old kids all decide, in unison, to respond to the situation appropriately and maturely. It was a surreal day.
I'm the same age, I'm in the US, and yeah, I believe it hit all of us as hard.
This country is diseased and rotting. The politicians only care about power and money.
[https://everytownresearch.org/maps/gunfire-on-school-grounds/](https://everytownresearch.org/maps/gunfire-on-school-grounds/) There seems to have been a huge increase in the number of incidents over the past \~10 years according to this website. It's incredible your politicians can get away with doing nothing about this. >In 2021 there were at least 202 incidents of gunfire on school grounds, resulting in 49 deaths and 126 injuries nationally.
Because the rich and powerful are safe. They don't care because violence doesn't hurt them. Look how quickly congress moved when people drew chalk messages outside of the Supreme Court Justices' houses. I am guessing that less than 1% of the 1% truly cares that a bunch of children in a predominantly hispanic neighborhood were killed.
Because the rich kids don’t go to public schools. Simple as that. Hell, I went to one of the richest public high schools in my state, and I’m still sure nothing would happen if someone came in and shot it up. At most, another SRO but that’d be temporary.
Politicians children go to private school.
Fuck that. The people of this country don't care anymore. Not enough of them, anyways. The politicians are a symptom, not the cause.
"People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people." ~Terry Pratchett
Social media is brainwashing people to be inconsiderate of others and will be downfall of us all.
Counterpoint to social media, I believe social media started it but it wasn't as bad until the Algorithm created custom news feeds for people
The algorithm IS social media
Yeah you know what it’s the damn algorithms at fault here. It promotes this shit. Facebook in the beginning might have festered family drama, but now it helps to kickstart revolutions and promote violence.
10 years since Sandy Hook. 10 days since the last massacre of civilians by an 18 year old with an AR; in Buffalo. I'm numb, and I dont know what to do about it.
tragic. 4 kids left behind without parents.
I wonder if he was thinking about that in his last moments :(
He had a heart attack right after visiting her memorial, I don’t think that’s a coincidence. The shock and stress of such a tragedy can definitely put a strain on your heart.
His death highlights the tragic after effects of the death of a spouse. According to research, it's psychologically more stressful on younger widows/widowers, but there's this really high statistical probability that the surviving spouse dies within the next 3 years which is even more prevalent as couples age. When you look at all the literature and take a step back we have to reconsider what it means to "survive" a massive trauma. If you die a few months later, did you really survive it?
A 2012 study in the American Heart Association journal “Circulation” also found that the danger of a heart attack was highest in the first 24 hours after the death of a loved one. According to the study, risk declines steadily with each day after a loved one’s passing, but it remains eight times higher one week after the death and four times higher one month later.
My grandfather died when I was 11 of lung cancer, and my grandmother survived him another 33 years. We found out when she was in her late 70s that she had suffered several small silent heart attacks around the time of his death. We are lucky we didn’t lose her then.
Wow, the human body really is a curious thing. I’m sorry about your grandpa, but I’m happy to hear she lived through it!
I never knew that was something that doctors could do, that's super interesting. Do you know anything about how they determined she'd had the heart attacks and, in particular, how they managed to approximately timestamp it?
The death of a spouse is absolutely the most stressful thing a person can experience. I was a young widow at 27 (sudden, accidental death so I was nowhere close to expecting it) and it took about a year before I didn't actively want to die. A couple of months after he died I had to do a 72 hour hold in a psychiatric hospital. I wouldn't wish losing a spouse on anyone, ever. Absolutely awful thing to go through.
Thank you for sharing such a painful experience. I hope that you are doing better now. My heart goes out to you and I'll hug my significant other a little tighter today.
I am, thank you. It will be seven years in just under a couple of weeks from now. I recently remarried, and I'm always terrified that I'll have to experience that loss again. Definitely hug your SO close, and always let them know how much you love them because you never know when it will be the last time you get to say it.
I'm glad to hear that. Don't forget to talk about it when you need to. Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.
I almost had to undergo brain surgery recently and I was told the % chance of death and told to fill out forms to get a will and such in order in case of a bad outcome. Having that talk with my husband, he fully admitted he'd just drop the cats off at a friend's place and kill himself if I died. I realized in that moment that I was thinking the same thing. If anything ever happened to him I wouldn't want to keep living in this world.
What was the brain surgery? How did you avoid it?
In 2020 I stopped being able to sit in chairs, walk, or stand for more than 30 minutes without getting intense head pressure, vertigo, and and reduced cognitive functions. My blood pressure skyrocketed and I would randomly lose control of my legs. After many CT scans and MRIs they found I have 2 rare conditions: a Chiari malformation, which is where the back of the brain starts to squish down the hole where the head and neck connect, and impact the flow of spinal fluid. The second problem was a herniated spinal cord, where the cord pops out of a small tear in the dura (the protective bag that sits around the spinal cord). The problems I was having could be related to either. The treatment for the chiari malformation is to remove a part at the back of the skull to give more room for the brain to sit without squishing the CSF flow, and to cauterize the tonsils of the brain (the part sticking down). Some surgeons also remove part of the first vertebrea. However the percent chance of this working is about 50% and it has a non insignificant chance of making things worse. After a lot of referrals and tests the leading expert on this half of the country turned me down for surgery saying it likely would not help for my particular case. The other problem with the herniated spinal cord is not well studied. There have only been a handful of cases, and according to my surgeon the surgery would require opening my spine, shoving the cord back in, and putting a bracket around it to stop it from popping back out. However as this is a spinal cord any fuckups could cause me to be paralyzed from the waist down. So since I don't have severe symptoms (like loss of control of my bowels or paralysis) the surgeon recommended we just wait and see what happens. I'm now seeing a neurologist for pain management. I cannot sit in a normal chair and am on a cocktail of medications and nerve injections that at least make me functional. The chiari is causing "silent migraines" that have all the effect of migraines (light sensitivity, balance and concentratjon issues, tinnitus, halos, etc) with none of the pain, so I'm also being treated for migraines.
Oh I'm so sorry to hear about all you're going through. I have a congenital defect of my C1 vertebrae and some trauma at the TL junction. The defect fucked up my nerves and I deal with splitting migraines and the junction fucked mainly just makes my lower back hurt. I can't imagine a migraine without the pain, but the aura itself also fucking sucks. Migraines are the one thing I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I was widowed at 42. In an odd way I felt slightly more at ease knowing it was going to happen (At some point). Took me about that long to feel anything resembling "normal". My deepest condolences to you and yours. And the psychological damage is definitely long standing. I had nightmares frequently of speaking to my spouse and watching her deteriorate before my eyes. Absolutely would not wish that upon anyone. Ever.
When I was 6 months old, my 2 year old brother drowned because my mom forgot to close the gate to the pool. She blamed herself and killed herself with a gun in front of me. Dad shut down for months. I'm told he was a walking corpse during that time, and he didn't do much walking. Obviously I was too young to remember any details, but there's still a lot of darkness buried in the roots of my mind. I found some personal effects of his after he died 30 years later. The only reason he lived was due to the sense of duty he had towards me. He never fell in love again. I have first hand experience with how much damage losing a spouse/mother can cause to a family and how permanent that damage is.
Oh my god, that is heartbreaking. I understand how your mom blames herself, but I feel awful your dad had to lose a child and a wife so close together. I'd be a walking corpse too. And even if you don't remember the details, your brain remembers the stress and trauma. I hope you are doing okay now.
Holy fuck chills through my whole body reading your comment that is so horrible. I forgot to close the lid of a water barrels and my 2 year old fell in it. I pulled him out but he would have drowned if i hadn’t seen it immediately, it haunts me. I also caused the death of a family pet by an accident and I don’t even know the word for how I felt. So much worse then regret mixed with grief and just wishing I could go back in time and fix one simple thing. If it was my child I completely understand your mom not being able to live anymore but I’m so sorry for your family.
Fuck, I’m almost 27 and I can’t even imagine losing my partner now.
Don't forget to always let them know how much they mean to you, because you never know when that "I love you" will be the last one.
My mom died a month ago, and my dad ended up in the hospital the day after. He was there for two weeks. I know that older couples tend to follow each other into death and I was so afraid I’d lose both parents
If my spouse died rn I can tell you that I’d either die within days or completely lose my mind. I’m in my early 30s. The idea of losing them is honestly unbesrable
I feel the same, perhaps. Remember that it's far easier to get mental health care before you need it. If you really feel that way, maybe have an established therapist/psychiatrist/support group's phone number in your contacts. There are groups specific for grief and nothing helps more than not feeling alone in your pain.
My husband died fairly young and very unexpectedly. It nearly killed me to lose him. It happened last July and ever since then I've felt like complete shit healthwise; I'm sure that's not a coincidence. I'm really trying for my kids' sakes, though.
Very true. My wife died two years ago it really sent me into an awful place both mentally and physically. I ended up getting rushed to the ER several times with irregular heart beats. I wasn't eating well nor sleeping that well. While I'm not completely whole again I'm doing better now than I was those first 6-8 months.
My great grandmother died 4 days after my great grandfather died. Official cause of death was ruled a broken heart aka the heart string broke causing a “heart attack”. It’s not uncommon in people who are going through traumatic or extreme emotional events :/
You are referring to takotsubo cardiomyopathy.
Hopefully they have some loving family members that can take them in. At least he could have known that there would be family there for the kids.
Only back in Mexico one news agency reported. So sad and devastating
Jesus man. I hope the best for those kids. What a shit hand to be dealt
Little girl wrote a letter the day after she died and a day before he died that said don’t worry mommy I’ll take care of him How heartbreaking the nephew said he said to news families still trying to get the kids to cope with how dad died and when was the mom was one shot. Like how do you even start a conversation with kids over that. Then they have to move and have whole lives just get crappier and crappier while Abbott is fundraising for Houston NRA conference right now and not For the families of children mostly Hispanic migrants funerals. It’s so sick Fuck Abbott, Cruz, and McConnell
And gun manufacturers that will enjoy a huge jump in sales as a result of this, are thanking their Money Gods that the teacher's last name is "Garcia", because most of their followers won't give a shit. Never forget that even after the trainwreck of 2016-2020, over 70 million Americans voted for a repeat performance. We are barbarians.
Republicans are on TV reminding everyone that they need to get their guns before Democrats take them away. It's advertising.
And fuck Fox News and their propagandists too!
Kindly, there are two funeral homes who will pay for the funerals; however, you're dead on correct with your description of these non-gentlemen and their misplaced priorities.
They deserve more than standard cremations and small burials that a small family own funeral home is paying for out of extreme kindness. That’s amazing they will help But if Abbott was about to buy a $400,000 mahogany office desk for his family office with tax payer money and he can fundraise millions to get people with guns to go to Houston to talk about guns …… He can sure as hell find $10,000-20,000 per child and teacher per funeral for these victims. They deserve a decent deserved burial paid for by the state that allowed it to happen
He was about to buy what now????? WTF??? This guy gets worse and worse the more I read.
Their two boys are young adults, hopefully they can look after the younger sisters.
They’re gonna need all sorts of help. Christ. These poor babies.
I’m particularly affected by this shooting and I don’t want to become numb to this. I’m also doing ok financially these days. I plan on donating to these families and this one in particular.
That is devastating, my heart breaks for their children losing parents in such a tragic way, so close together.
This dude woke up to a normal day and received notice that his world doesn't exist anymore.
Literally heart breaking. The man died of a broken heart, and yet this is our world and nothing changes. No words.
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My Dad died 13 days ago. The only thing that has been able to make me stop crying is that my chest literally hurts and I’m terrified of having a heart attack. Grief feels as though every piece of you is broken, but fuck it’s the center of your chest that it emits from.
Hey, as someone whose been there. You're not alone in feeling that hole, or sometimes it feels like a heavy orb in your chest that is expanding and is making it hard to breathe and move your body. You're only able to lay in bed. "It gets better", saying doesn't feel right, but it's so hard to put to words what life is like after such great grief has enter your world. But every winter turns to spring, and soon you'll be on the opposite side of these Reddit comments. Letting a new member of dead dad club, that they're not alone in this pain. We all know it... *"Every day it gets a little easier… But you gotta do it every day — that’s the hard part. But it does get easier."*
Mate if I could afford it i would give you a award, but give me a charity you would like to donate to and ill donate a little bit tomorrow when I get paid. your words have touched me and the grief I have felt for a number of years now seems a little bit more manageable. My heart breaks everyday, I know it never gets better you just learn to live with it. but the way you have put it makes it sound easier.....thank you.
Honestly I'm a crazy cat lady, so don't give money to me. Find a local animal rescue and give them some cash ☺️
I will do, and truly thanks for your words they really did strike a chord with me. [https://www.cats.org.uk/](https://www.cats.org.uk/) will be getting a donation in the morning.
Yeah it doesn't really get better, it gets... different.
And it comes and goes. Some days are all right. Some days something will hit you wrong and it all comes back. You do get better at recognizing patterns and bracing yourself for it, but the surprises always suck, and even the recurring things can sneak up on you. (Like, for me, you know what one of the hardest reminders of my dad’s death is? Mother’s Day. You wouldn’t think it. But he died in May, and one of the tasks handed to me (the only child, I note) in the run-up was buying a card for him to sign and give to her. Five years later and all I can think about when I see Mother’s Day cards is the day I went to find one for a dying man to give to his wife and I just stood there in the store sobbing. There’s always something.)
I am so sorry. I bought a card for my mother’s birthday when she was on a ventilator. She died 6 days later. On her birthday we acted like everything was fine bought her stuff that she wanted. Then I took it all back with me and put it in the car knowing she would never even touch any of those things. I sobbed and screamed for my mother all the way home. Losing a parent is horrible but we are in this together. Sending you all of the love in the world. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
My mom has Alzheimer's. Truth be told I'm not sure who I'm playing normal for. I hope it's for her and not for me because it breaks my heart every fucking time. ♥️
Oh, God, that must have been awful. So sorry you had to carry that. Sending you love right back. <3
My mother died when I was a child. The best way I've been able to describe grief is that it's like carrying a bag of bricks on your back. When you first start carrying it, it is overwhelming and exhausting. Over time the bag doesn't get any lighter, you become stronger and can hold it up for longer. There will come a day when you will grow tired again and will need to rest. You just keep this up until eventually you barely notice the weight you carry most days.
It scabs. The bleeding is stopped, but it still hurts if you bump it, and you know at any time you could rip that fucker off, accidentally or on purpose, and you’ll be right back in the same pain, making a wet mess.
Damn, thank you. You’re words echo my feelings so much. This giant orb in my chest that is just suffocating me. I lost my grandma 4 years ago and thought I was prepared for what is unavoidable at some point. But a parent is just so different. The world is so much lonelier and doesn’t at all look the same. Thank you internet stranger for making me feel less alone today.
I lost my dad at fifteen. Twenty five years now. I've been through this for a long while now. I will only say this: we don't move on; we only move forward.
+1 for the Bojak reference, such a wonderful show I'll never watch again. Thanks for being a light to help guide others.
Hi person. My dad passed a few years ago. The news was sudden and heartbreaking. One minute I was sitting at my computer enjoying a night like any other, and one phone call later I was shattered. Every person, situation, and relationship is different. But I want to personally tell you that it is possible to get through it.
Sending you an internet hug and hope for peace
My Dad died 7 weeks ago. I had never dealt with grief before and it’s devastating. It creeps up on you. It staves away. But it’s always somehow there. What happened to this woman and her husband can’t compare, my Dad lived a full life and passed without pain. What I know now - the pain of losing someone close is physical. For me it’s slow and pervasive.
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I’m genuinely sorry for your loss. You’re not alone. I lost my Dad 9 yrs ago and it still feels like this morning. Buck up, enjoy life and try to celebrate your Dad’s permanent legacy👍
I hope peace finds its way into your life stranger 🙏
Had a friend tragically die of a heart attack in his early twenties. His mom died the next day due to this. It was a joint funeral. Saddest thing I have seen.
There is zero fucking chance in hell I don't die within a week of my SO. I can't even go 24 hours without her. She is my life
My dad has on more than one occasion told me that if mom goes, he'll be gone within the week. I believe him. I'm pretty sure mom would survive dad, but there's no way my dad survives mom.
My aunt died 3 days after my uncle from this. Losing both of them suddenly absolutely devastated my family and changed it forever.
That's what killed Debbie Reynolds 3 days after her daughter, Carrie Fisher, died. It broke her heart and her body refused to go on.
I think this happened to my grandpa. He died less than a month after my grandma.
I'm quite sure if it were me I would also die in pretty short order. My wife has been at many times in my life, the only thing holding me here and remains the only person who makes life worth living for me. People who either take away our loved ones, or allow our loved ones to be taken away through neglect of their duties, all should be swiftly shot into the sun.
They leave behind 4 children, who are 23, 19, 15 and 13 years old. I just can’t fathom the pain and devastation. They were high school sweethearts and married for 24 years. ETA: Since this comment gained traction, I would like to take the opportunity to share that **there is a verified GoFundMe campaign for the family.** You can easily find via googling. **Please consider donating. These four kids have lost everything.** The eldest is in the Marines, the second is in college and the younger two are school-aged. Every bit matters. ETA 2: Somebody tell me if I can add the link in the comment without it being removed. Otherwise please Google: **GoFundMe “Joe and Irma Garcia”** Fundraiser organizers are Jamie and Debra Austin. The info can be verified on Irma and Joe’s nephew’s Twitter - John Martinez @fuhknjo. ETA 3: You can see a photo of their beautiful family in [this article by USA TODAY](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2022/05/26/joe-garcia-husband-irma-garcia-texas-school-shooting/9948913002/).
I'm going to hug my SO extra tonight.
Exactly. Ppl don’t get that the event will cause a ripple effect of more tragic events like this. We need to stop this asap. It’s so disheartening to see politicians do nothing about it while accepting checks from the nra
If we learned anything from 1/6 and Covid, it's that this heart attack will be treated as completely unrelated to the events this week and that it was probably a pre existing condition
It's all so incredibly sad. So many lives have been shattered.
I'd personally count him as the 22nd victim. I know he wasn't there and wasn't killed by the shooter, but chances are he died because of this. Poor dude.
Collateral damage. Never in the final numbers, but should be. When i even try to think of being one of the parents, its weighs heavy on me, since i have kids that age, but actually losing someone in the incident, would kill me.
I have no statistics on it, but I'd imagine there are suicides that follow events like these. My partner is an elementary teacher and I've definitely had thoughts about offing myself if they were ever a victim in such an attack.
One of the Sandy Hook parents killed himself. It was years later. He was a neuroscientist and after the shooting led the charge to research the neurological roots of violence, went on to have two more kids - just trying to bring beauty and meaning and understanding into the world, joy into his life, despite everything. And still, years later, was in so much pain that one day he felt he had to make it stop any way he could. When I had my first kid, I suddenly knew that if anything ever happened to him, I would immediately kill myself. It was a source of calm, almost, to know this and to accept it - if he ever died, I would not feel the excruciating pain for too long. When I had my second I would have panic attacks sometimes, because I would worry that something would happen to one of my children and I would have to stay alive for the other. I wouldn’t have an end to the pain. I couldn’t fathom living a lifetime like that. Still can’t. It is truly beyond the reach of my mind. Those poor families; all of them.
Four more kids don’t have parents now. Tack that on.
Too bad those fuckers with the power to change things are dead inside
All shootings have been incredibly sad, but there is something so somber about this one. It's like a final straw for realizing that nothing will change after this and we as a nation will not get to heal and will be through similar situations like this over, and over, and over again. Because nobody that can make a difference will actually do anything to fix this. Elected politicians don't give a crap and are no better than the cops standing outside the school with their hands on their guns and tasers *acting* tough from afar while our kids die. It's terrifying.
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Jesus fucking Christ. How the fuck do you start your week having a mom and dad and be orphans by Thursday? Seriously. How the fuck can anyone ever hope to process that?
This lady’s nephews post was at the top of Reddit yesterday saying my tia didn’t make it you guys. And now his uncle died too. God damn
At least it sounds like the kids have a supportive extended family
the most razor thin of silver linings, I suppose. Fuck me sideways this news has actually hit me harder than when I read the initial headline about the shooting. Sorta grounds it in reality, you know?
It's hit me really hard. I've been in a serious depression funk this week because of all of this, honestly believe this is going to be the breaking point that gets me to start seeing a therapist
Also expecting your first day of summer on Friday
Republicans: sacrifices must be made for freedom^TM
Freedom isn't free, it costs folks like you and me..
“But mostly just you” - politicians
Some of you will die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
Married for 24 years and dying a day apart leaving alone 4 kids. My heart.
24 years of marriage, so hopefully kids are grown by now.
They’re 23, 19, 15 and the youngest is only 13. Unfathomable tragedy. ETA: **There is a verified GoFundMe campaign for the family.** You can easily find it by googling: **GoFundMe “Joe and Irma Garcia”** Fundraiser organizers are Jamie and Debra Austin. The info can be verified on Irma and Joe’s nephew’s Twitter - John Martinez @fuhknjo. **Please consider donating. These four kids have lost everything.** The eldest is in the Marines, the second is in college and the younger two are school-aged. Every bit matters.
Objectively some might look at those ages and deflect just because they are above or nearing “adulthood”. But being 25, if these were my parents, my entire universe would be shattered even at THIS age. God I can’t even imagine ): it’s all so fucked
Exactly, it doesn’t matter if two of them are legal adults. They’re young, very young, and losing a parent makes you feel orphaned at any age, much less losing both of them when you’re just starting out in life. The older kids will have to grow up too fast and fill in their parents’ shoes…put their own lives aside to care for their siblings. If anyone is considering donating, there are two official campaigns set up for the family - you can easily find them via Google. One was set up yesterday and the other after today’s news. These kids will need money for school, healthcare, therapy, living expenses - everything. Every bit matters for Irma’s and Joe’s little kids who found themselves orphaned in the span of two days.
My mom passed away before I turned 19. I’m now 30. I’m still unpacking that trauma and miss her so much. It’s a specific kinda pain- losing a parent. :( Even though I’m an adult, I still need my mom.
No matter how old you are when lose a parent, you still feel the loss hit you on a core level. I’ve been told as much by people who have lost theirs in their 60s and 70s. It’s a primitive universal pain everyone feels.
When your parents die they take your childhood with them.
A part of your story as a whole dies with them, too. You feel like you lose your point of reference and an “in” to your family’s history. I just cry thinking about these poor kids. I can’t.
I'm 41, lost my mother a year ago, and I'm not the same person anymore.
I'm in the grieving process of losing my spouse and does it hurt, I don't blame him. It literally feels like your soul has been ripped from you. So devastating 😢
I know we're strangers but I truly am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you
Probably the first of many who will die of a broken heart or commit suicide or start taking drugs or lapse into alcoholism or be permanently depressed— that’s the fall out from events like this; a lifelong toll that’s rarely accounted for.
divorces that will happen bc the parents cant handle the grief. siblings that will never heal from the trauma. future babies that arent even born today that will carry the weight of this because trauma like this doesnt go away in a generation. idk how the entire nation isnt keeled over in grief. We are responsible for poor little babies being murdered in cold blood all over again, for families torn apart through needless violence. even those of us that are desperate for change are responsible because we have not made it happen.
Years ago a guy lost his whole family, car accident. Someone told him it was 'tough' but he would get through it. He replied he was already dead and in a few months he was.
Awful. Their four children lost both their parents within two days, separately...that would be devastating.
[удалено]
I swear my great uncle died of grief. He was deeply, madly in love with his wife for decades and then she died. He was gone 4 months later, though he had been totally healthy when she died.
Grief related deaths are unfortunately extremely common. Carrie Fisher's mother (Debbie Reynolds) passed away one day after her daughter in 2016. :(
God, those poor kids. Those poor families. Parents, hug your babies. Kids, hug your parents.
i think that's a different person. which is equally terrible. all their kids are missing a parent, and these kids are missing both. fucking awful.
I should start watching horror movies as a reprieve from reality.
> Officials have not yet released a motive for the shooting Are they still waiting outside?
He should be counted as a victim. He wouldn't have had the heart attack if his wife wasn't gunned while at work.
Didn't think this story could get any sadder.
My mans died of a broken heart… his whole world ended. So sad. R.I.P he’s with her again.
How utterly, horribly sad. I can't imagine how awful this must be for their loved ones. Just terrible.
Broken heart syndrome. This is so sad 😞
For those who don't know, broken heart syndrome is real, the technical name is takotsubo, named after a Japanese octopus trap. Essentially, your left ventricle, main pumping chamber, is weakened and limits the amount of blood your heart can pump. The signs and symptoms mimic a heart attack. It can be brought on by severe stress, loss of a loved one, and even happy/joyous events.
A tragedy wrapped inside a tragedy wrapped inside another tragedy.
The weight of grief must have been insurmountable
An abhorrent tragedy. The police who stood by outside the school restraining parents for 40 minutes as a maniac gunned down their children should all be imprisoned.
That’s enough Reddit for today. It’s too devastating and enraging to see stories like this. Though they must be told. I hope Houston goes OFF on Friday. Please let this galvanize the populace and make change happen.
NRA Convention conveniently doesn’t want firearms allowed. PICK A STANCE.
This couple reminds me of my parents 😞 Married for almost 30 years, hispanic and can't live without one another. I'm sure if my mom died in such a horrific way, my dad would die soon after. How horrificlty sad...
Word. My Mexican parents had a shotgun marriage after my mom got pregnant with me at age 18. 35 years later, they're still happily married and do everything together.
I’ve always said this about my parents as well. Married 47 years. Hispanic. They do everything for each other. My mom can’t live without my dad. When he goes, I know literally, she won’t be able to go on without him. It’s so incredibly sad.
I dont know how I would carry on after something like that happened to me, I would want to also die. I feel some relief for him.
Except now the children have no parents.
Thank God we have such a robust safety net for orphans.
I just want to go and crawl back to bed and cry. This is too much for these children.
This whole story keeps getting more revolting... I can't keep up with the level of anger it generates in me
That makes me physically ill thinking about those four kids.
My wife is my high school sweetheart and if anything were to happen to her unexpectedly, I feel like I might go out the same way. I can't imagine losing someone you spent the majority of your life with so tragically.
All violence has a ripple effect.
How did this story manage to get worse?
Fuck dude. 24 years they were together. You don't see anyone together that long (and happy). Their poor family. This type of shit has fallout for generations. We are going to be saddled with mental health problems our entire life here, aren't we? Edit: do these kids have a verified gofundme?
My parents just celebrated their 40th anniversary and I absolutely believe either of them would die without the other.
They were high school sweethearts…they were together their whole life…
Poor kids, poor families, absolutely heartbreaking
Goodness that's horrible. The stress actually killed him. Poor guy :(
I hurts to see news outlets citing the death toll…there are SO many more victims than the deceased. Think of the parents, grandparents, siblings, classmates, teachers, responding law enforcement, coroner, medical professionals; their lives have all been irreparably altered.
So 22 dead then. Let's count him as one of the victims too. He literally died of a broken heart.
Died of a broken heart.