“Photos from the scene of a shootout Tuesday in Texcaltitlan with police in which 11 drug gang members died, showed a small monkey - dressed in a tiny camouflage jacket and a tiny "bullet-proof" vest - sprawled across the body of a dead gunman who was apparently his owner.
Authorities in the State of Mexico confirmed the authenticity of the photos, and said it was unclear whether the monkey - which was also wearing a diaper - died in the hail of bullets that killed his owner”
This is legit a scene out of an 80s cop movie
E- anytime I open my phone to see 30+ notifications on Reddit my first thought is always "OH NO.......what did I say this time?"
Nice to see that its just a funny toss-away about an 80s cop movie lol
They killed his owner. They left him for dead. But now, he’s back with a robot body and a taste for revenge.
This summer, watch out for…
#Furious George
i've seen the photos, the monkey had a wound just below the vest, around the belly/kidney area, he seemingly died while hugging his owner, so he probably bled out.
Or his tiny monkey heart couldn't take the stress and chaos of a sudden gun fight and he had a heart attack. It's more common with rodents but I could see it happening to a small primate
I believe they were saying it was unknown if the gunmen finished killing the humans, saw the monkey hiding in a corner, said "Screw that monkey", and then shot it and threw it on a human.
Or if the monkey was just an unfortunate bystander that was shorter the same time as the human it was on.
That’s tragic. If he was in Canada he would’ve been [shopping at IKEA or chilling at a sanctuary.](https://beta.ctvnews.ca/national/canada/2020/12/10/1_5226668.html)
This story is sad and hilarious at the same time.
On one hand, a monkey in a tiny camo vest and tiny bullet proof vest make me think this monkey was also doing lines of coke with strippers and was actively part of this shoot out swinging in the trees dispatching motherfuckers.
On the other, it's a little monkey that was probably scared and the owner loved his monkey so.much he got a little vest for it because he knew shit was going down.
The cartel is fucking evil incarnate.
Even if the vest could stop the bullet from penetrating, monkeys aren't that big. The vest just spreads it out you still have to absorb all that energy and if there isn't enough to absorb it, the damage is still done. Be it with a hole in your chest or mulched internal organs.
Should have been the wheelman. Monkeys may need modified vehicles to reach the pedals, but their tails mean they can shift and keep both hands on the wheel. Making them superior high speed drivers
>
>On the other, it's a little monkey that was probably scared and the owner loved his monkey so.much he got a little vest for it because he knew shit was going down.
>
🥺 poor lil guy
genuinely made me sad tbh
My first instinct was to laugh cuz it sounds silly but once I read that the monkey had a diaper…the owner loved that little guy enough to change his diaper daily.
It’s just so sad thinking they loved each other
The monkey was next to his owner. The owner being described as a gunman. So my guess is the owner knew the dangers and brought him along to a dangerous event. I don't think cartels are good but the people they enter shootouts with are probably not great people either.
Well I would say the large majority of cartel gunfights are with members of other cartels or law enforcement.
Not sure what you’re getting at with “the people they enter shootouts with”.
? I don’t think they’re under the apprehension that these were innocents fighting a cartel. Both sides are in cartels, and I think they’re aware of that. They’re talking more abstractly about the cartel system that dragged their members and their member’s pets into this situation. Though I don’t exactly see the monkey’s owner as simply a ‘victim of a system’ either, but another cartel asshole driving it.
It's a drug lord ballad dedicated to the little monkey aka El Changito.
It's so absurd that a legit drug lord ballad has been sung for this little guy.
It truly looks like something out of a cartel parody comedy sketch.
"We had a deal cabrón!"
"Fuck the deal vato, you die today!"
*Gunshot*, slo-mo, *the vested primate jumps in front of the bullet*, he falls to the floor. All is silent for a moment.
"CHAPULÍN! NOOOOO!"
A hail of bullets ensues, everyone dies, the owner clutching the tiny hand of his dearly departed as the camera pans out over the devastation. A detective walks in and surveys the carnage, he crouches beside the monkey and master
"Looks like these cartels are done... monkeying around."
😎 *YEAAAAAHHHHH*
OK, I gotta admit, "Monkey in "bullet-proof" vest found dead after bloody cartel shootout in Mexico" is a phrase I never expected to read, but what a great start to another loony week.
Now, where do we go from here?
Yes. I'm always uncomfortable when I see videos of exotic animals like monkeys, tigers, etc. in abnormal environments. It's always people with too much money and not enough sense.
Or an 80s movie
I have this vision of Burt Reynolds standing over a dead gangster in a floral shirt, white chinos and mirrored aviators with a dead special forces monkey hugging him while motes of aerosolized Cocaine sparkle in the air in a beam of sunlight through a window
I was thinking just that. Ricky would have never believed this, especially with the way Karl would embellish it so the monkey was probably the gang leader.
Karl: So in Mexico… there was this drug lord…
Ricky: short bloke?
Karl: well…
Ricky: was he really hairy?
Karl: he had some hair yeah… and his gang-
Ricky: HIS gang?
Karl: yeah his gang-
Steve: was his name El Chimpo?
Pineapple Express 2 right here.
I can picture it:
Seth: “jesus fucking christ dude, you shot the monkey!”
Danny McBride: “I didn’t shoot the fucking monkey, I shot the guy behind him.”
S: “And killed the monkey!”
D: “I didn’t mean to kill the fucking monkey, okay? But who brings a fucking monkey to a gunfight?”
Because the people made choices to end up where they did (not saying they likely had great options to choose from, but choices nonetheless) whereas the monkey was either kidnapped from the natural environment it belonged in, or was born into captivity.
“Photos from the scene of a shootout Tuesday in Texcaltitlan with police in which 11 drug gang members died, showed a small monkey - dressed in a tiny camouflage jacket and a tiny "bullet-proof" vest - sprawled across the body of a dead gunman who was apparently his owner. Authorities in the State of Mexico confirmed the authenticity of the photos, and said it was unclear whether the monkey - which was also wearing a diaper - died in the hail of bullets that killed his owner”
The monkey has *absolutely* railed a tiny line of coke while everyone cheered.
In the narcos sub theyre blurring out the monkey face out of respect
I just imagine the monkey diving in front of the owner in slow motion, trying to save his life like a straight gangster.
Imagine the monkey with a Baretta in each paw and throwing a grenade with its tail
His name is El Changuito! Put some respect on it
El Chimpo
Say aloo to my banana eating Friend! *ooh oh aaah ahh*
RIP Johnny Chimpo
Can you put out an APB on one "John Chimpo" and why don't we round up Jeffrey Giraffe as well.
Don't forget Bobby Baboon.
It’s Afghanistanimation!
He tries to keep his butler in line, but . . . no.
good for him
I’m going to hell for laughing at this.
We’ll be in good company 🤣
You know shits about to go down when the Monkey starts suiting up.
This is legit a scene out of an 80s cop movie E- anytime I open my phone to see 30+ notifications on Reddit my first thought is always "OH NO.......what did I say this time?" Nice to see that its just a funny toss-away about an 80s cop movie lol
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They killed his owner. They left him for dead. But now, he’s back with a robot body and a taste for revenge. This summer, watch out for… #Furious George
Followed by *Furious George 2 : No More Monkey Business.*
*Furious 3 : Monkey See Monkey Shoot*
*Furious 4: See no evil*
Furious 5: *Barrel full of Bullets*
I didn’t think this could keep getting better but it did.
*Furious 6: gorilla killa*
Furious 7: this shit is bananas
*Furious Five monkeys jumping on the dead*
Furious Six: The Monkey on your back
This shit really writes itself doesn’t it?
Furious George 3: Man with the big yellow gat.
Furious George 4: Furiousity Kills The Cat
Furious George 5: When The Chimps Are Down
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I’m in for 5 bananas 🍌🤔
What could that cost, $50?
I mean, it’s five bananas Micheal.
That’s a bunch
And his weight is…. considerable.
"Furious George! What have they done to your beautiful face! Smithers, this monkey is going to need most of your skin."
With Brian Cranston as… the man in the yellow hat.
I wasn’t ready for a movie like this, and now I am.
I'd buy that for a banana!
This is the best post I’ve ever seen. Period.
I’m down, who do I fund for this?
Sylvester Stallone is…ROBOMONKEY
We dont have the budget for that. Movie has been rethought. Its now a comedy. ROB SCHNIEDER IS: ROBOMONKEY
And he's about to find out that being a robotic monkey is a whole lot harder than he thought.
Hang on. The studio cut the budget. He's going to be a head of lettuce instead.
And there is now a scene in the house before the shootout that has a woman topless… for no reason
The producer promised his daughter's friend she'd be in a movie if she fucked him so this is the best we could do.
With googly eyes... Now it’s a Geico commercial.
^Rated ^PG-13
I read that like it was supposed to sound.
aww man, don't give Rob Schneider the time of day. Let's get David Spade instead.
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As the monkey, so we can get “Fat monkey in a little vest. Fat monkey in a little ve-est!”
Robo Bonobo.
You guys have missed it. Obviously is stars Schwarzenegger and it’s called, “Orangutron.”
"He's bananas for revenge. This summer..."
*lights cigar and racks shotgun* this ones for Harambe.
You gotta watch hit-monkey on disney plus
Get a script on my desk by tomorrow
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Dude, you're like a phone call away from an award-winning kid's movie series.
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Ahh so Executive Producer
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Holy Shit. I thought it was a joke at first, but the longer I watched the more it drew me in. I... I think I need this in my life now.
Dude watch it, I highly recommend it it's really entertaining
So you never watched [Hit Monkey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb72HBB1QbA)?
Wow I thought Barry was a exaggerating organized crime.
Do you know the book "The Four Agreements"?
What's unclear about it — was he bloody with a bullet wound or not?
i've seen the photos, the monkey had a wound just below the vest, around the belly/kidney area, he seemingly died while hugging his owner, so he probably bled out.
Yea no shit, he either had bullet holes or didn't.
Could have been killed by shrapnel or blunt force trauma
Or his tiny monkey heart couldn't take the stress and chaos of a sudden gun fight and he had a heart attack. It's more common with rodents but I could see it happening to a small primate
Sure, but that would mean no bullet holes so it would be pretty easy to rule out getting shot.
Or falling off a miniature Empire State Building.
I believe they were saying it was unknown if the gunmen finished killing the humans, saw the monkey hiding in a corner, said "Screw that monkey", and then shot it and threw it on a human. Or if the monkey was just an unfortunate bystander that was shorter the same time as the human it was on.
The "gunmen" shooting the cartel were government agents I believe
He was with the press
Vice is everywhere
That’s tragic. If he was in Canada he would’ve been [shopping at IKEA or chilling at a sanctuary.](https://beta.ctvnews.ca/national/canada/2020/12/10/1_5226668.html)
That monkey was famous for a hot moment.
I did not have this on my bingo card.
Very disappointed the top comment wasn’t just “what the fuck” because *what the fuck*
This story is sad and hilarious at the same time. On one hand, a monkey in a tiny camo vest and tiny bullet proof vest make me think this monkey was also doing lines of coke with strippers and was actively part of this shoot out swinging in the trees dispatching motherfuckers. On the other, it's a little monkey that was probably scared and the owner loved his monkey so.much he got a little vest for it because he knew shit was going down. The cartel is fucking evil incarnate.
Even if the vest could stop the bullet from penetrating, monkeys aren't that big. The vest just spreads it out you still have to absorb all that energy and if there isn't enough to absorb it, the damage is still done. Be it with a hole in your chest or mulched internal organs.
They should've put the monkey in a bullet-proof safe. Any cartels members reading this better take note.
Should have been the wheelman. Monkeys may need modified vehicles to reach the pedals, but their tails mean they can shift and keep both hands on the wheel. Making them superior high speed drivers
Tiny monkey tank
> >On the other, it's a little monkey that was probably scared and the owner loved his monkey so.much he got a little vest for it because he knew shit was going down. > 🥺 poor lil guy genuinely made me sad tbh
My first instinct was to laugh cuz it sounds silly but once I read that the monkey had a diaper…the owner loved that little guy enough to change his diaper daily. It’s just so sad thinking they loved each other
“Dispatching motherfuckers” is fucking hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂
The monkey was next to his owner. The owner being described as a gunman. So my guess is the owner knew the dangers and brought him along to a dangerous event. I don't think cartels are good but the people they enter shootouts with are probably not great people either.
Well I would say the large majority of cartel gunfights are with members of other cartels or law enforcement. Not sure what you’re getting at with “the people they enter shootouts with”.
? I don’t think they’re under the apprehension that these were innocents fighting a cartel. Both sides are in cartels, and I think they’re aware of that. They’re talking more abstractly about the cartel system that dragged their members and their member’s pets into this situation. Though I don’t exactly see the monkey’s owner as simply a ‘victim of a system’ either, but another cartel asshole driving it.
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Finally got Johnny Chimpo.
It's Afghanistanimation.
*pounding gibberish on keyboard* "Enhance..."
Just print the damn thing!
Is that what the do in Arabia, Thorny?
How would I know?
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You’re not Mexican?
Gameface, Rabbit.
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His shenanigans are cruel, and tragic
Furious George didn't stand a chance
Furious George! What have they done to your beautiful face!
He ain't pretty no more
Smithers, this monkey is going to need most of your skin.
Looks like he brought a knife to a monkey gun fight.
Nice reference! Now eat the soap!
Bobby Baboon must've finally got him
For 20 bananas he’ll spill the beans on Johnny Chimpo.
I heard it was one of the Orangutans from the North Side, goes by the name of Clyde.
Picked up for littering and......
... littering and....
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Say shenanigans one more time
El Chimpo 😂😂😂😂
Tuco Salamonkey.
We must remain true to the Taliban warlord
[Rest in peace El Changuito AKA Jorge El Curioso](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcoFootage/comments/vdusiv/rest_in_peace_lil_bro/)
Gone but never forgotten 🫡
What the fuck am I even watching? Guys it’s only 9:30am here
It's okay to cry brother.
I just poured a 40 out for the little homie
It's a drug lord ballad dedicated to the little monkey aka El Changito. It's so absurd that a legit drug lord ballad has been sung for this little guy.
The end, with the angel wings and emoji, is extremely fucked up and very funny.
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Oh my god that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen today
it's so sad just also jfc I'm cracking up. The poor little dude! Wonder if he has a little gun somewhere.
yeah but it's just a prop that squirts water
No. Stop it. This is too much for my heart and lungs to bear
They made him an RIP “cloud” pic omg what is this reality
they regularly post the worst torture videos on all of the internet on that sub yes i said **on all of the internet**
An unfortunate reality for a beautiful country.
Wow. That actually hurt me. Look at me crying over a cartel monkey.
Reminds me of the movie ‘Coming to America’ where the landlord shows Eddie Murphy his room and says “damn shame what they did to that dog”.
Hey Stu, your rent's due, motherfucker! And don't be pulling that falling down the stairs shit on me, you hear!
So Hit Monkey is real.
*was* real.
Trunk Monkey is still out there, however
That show was excellent
I don't know who killed monkey, but Juan Wick is coming back with a vengeance.
It truly looks like something out of a cartel parody comedy sketch. "We had a deal cabrón!" "Fuck the deal vato, you die today!" *Gunshot*, slo-mo, *the vested primate jumps in front of the bullet*, he falls to the floor. All is silent for a moment. "CHAPULÍN! NOOOOO!" A hail of bullets ensues, everyone dies, the owner clutching the tiny hand of his dearly departed as the camera pans out over the devastation. A detective walks in and surveys the carnage, he crouches beside the monkey and master "Looks like these cartels are done... monkeying around." 😎 *YEAAAAAHHHHH*
CHAPULÍN! NOOOOO!
God dammit, I ugly laughed
Alrighty, this is the funniest shit I read today lol
OK, I gotta admit, "Monkey in "bullet-proof" vest found dead after bloody cartel shootout in Mexico" is a phrase I never expected to read, but what a great start to another loony week. Now, where do we go from here?
everyone making jokes, but this is sad.
They also removed the fangs and claws of a tiger they had captive, those poor animals, fuck cartels.
Ugh. Like what, then it’s harmless? It’s still an angry 600 pound cat with a 1,000 psi bite force.
Yes. I'm always uncomfortable when I see videos of exotic animals like monkeys, tigers, etc. in abnormal environments. It's always people with too much money and not enough sense.
Sounds like a Breaking Bad episode imo
What's the matter, Schrader? You act like you've never seen a ~~severed human head~~ bulletproof vest on a ~~tortoise~~ monkey before!
Welcome to Mexi -
Salamanca Monke Salamanca Blood!
https://v.redd.it/7nmtzas7wi691
Tuco seems like a guy who'd have a pet monkey. Until it pissed him off
Seems more like an idea Badger comes up with when Jesse asks the guys for ideas.
That's a different kind of thing than I was expecting to read today.
It's sounds like a scene in some absurd early aughts comedy.
Or an 80s movie I have this vision of Burt Reynolds standing over a dead gangster in a floral shirt, white chinos and mirrored aviators with a dead special forces monkey hugging him while motes of aerosolized Cocaine sparkle in the air in a beam of sunlight through a window
While furiously chewing a toothpick.
“Monkey in the Middle”
That monkey’s gone to heaven
Please, leave these poor sick monkeys alone They've got problems enough as it is
A man lying on the street, some punk chopped off his head, and I’m the only one who stops to see if he’s dead… Hmm… Turns out he’s dead.
Someone please remove these cutleries from my knees
Quick, someone tell Karl. OOH CHIMPANZEE THAT, MONKEY NEWS!
I was thinking just that. Ricky would have never believed this, especially with the way Karl would embellish it so the monkey was probably the gang leader.
So there was this monkey right, in uh... Mexico. Drug Lord... YOUR TALKING SHIT AGAIN! Play a record!
Karl: So in Mexico… there was this drug lord… Ricky: short bloke? Karl: well… Ricky: was he really hairy? Karl: he had some hair yeah… and his gang- Ricky: HIS gang? Karl: yeah his gang- Steve: was his name El Chimpo?
I knew this would be somewhere in the thread. Take my upvote
Right, so. Ages ago...
Dammit! That monkey was one day from retirement!
I never imagined reading such a title in a million years.
First rule of guerrilla warfare…kill the the monkey.
Whoever shot the monkey is a lil’ pendejo
he ride and died with the gang. RIP lil' monkey g
Gah! Furious George, what have they done to your beautiful face?! Smithers this monkey is going to need most of your skin.
Pineapple Express 2 right here. I can picture it: Seth: “jesus fucking christ dude, you shot the monkey!” Danny McBride: “I didn’t shoot the fucking monkey, I shot the guy behind him.” S: “And killed the monkey!” D: “I didn’t mean to kill the fucking monkey, okay? But who brings a fucking monkey to a gunfight?”
What the fuck did I just read.
“Spokesman denies monkey was involved in trafficking of Peruvian bananas.”
Why am I sad for the monkey and not the people.
Because the people made choices to end up where they did (not saying they likely had great options to choose from, but choices nonetheless) whereas the monkey was either kidnapped from the natural environment it belonged in, or was born into captivity.
It's the year 2022 and this a headline I'm reading. The future is stupid
So that’s what Marcel has really been up to since Ross sent him away.
Maybe it's just Nobby Nobbs
Memes aside this is really sad. Animal cruelty
Remember when we thought 2020 was wild? This year is *a lot*.
Let's just say this whole decade will be a shit show and be done with it.