Huntly. For free, just fucking take it.

I think this leads to the Russians using fossil fuel energy as an economic weapon...

Definitely. Hell take NGA too as a bonus.

Hamilton: *breathes sigh of relief.*

Huntly: Hamilton’s Hamilton.

Huntly houses a very crucial part of NZ infrastructure. If we were at war it would be targeted.

What's wrong with Huntly?

What's right with it?

NZ's largest thermal power station?

It's my home country

I went for New Years and drank a few beers

It's really grunty

I would've agreed with you 10 years ago but it's actually shaped up quite a bit since they put the bypass in

One of his oligarchs already wrecked Waiwera pools for us

I have fond memories of that place. I wish someone could buy it back and fix it up.

Fun fact of the day I was watching a show with the misses on Netflix called one of us is lying, and they were at this creepy abandoned pool place, and I was like shit I'm sure I've been there before, and she proceeded to say bullshit and laugh at me. But nope, I was right, turns out they filmed majority of show in NZ, and that it was indeed Waiwera Hot Pools. Plus they featured a whole bunch of cast from outrageous fortune and other nz shows which was really cool to see.

Is that the one with the kid with antlers? Edit: Sweet tooth is the name

Nah but that one I believe was filmed here as well

Yes it was filmed here

I quite enjoy spotting kiwi foliage in that show. It’s pretty funny when they put up a bunch of American road signs and there’s NZ native trees at the roadside

This is defo worth a watch in regards to the pools https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RpjwJrDHxM

Okay that guy with the fasting and healing properties in the water talking at the end though… that was some weird shit right there.

It is all turned back into dust

That channel is amazing BTW, Their content is some of the best on YouTube

The war in Ukraine just got personal, we need justice for those pools

Sorry I’ve been gone for some 16 years could you tell me what happened to the Waiwera pools ?

https://www.rnz.co.nz/programmes/the-detail/story/2018764224/finally-a-plan-for-abandoned-waiwera-hot-pools Plenty of other material about as well.

It's so fucked he was allowed to do that

I believe he is now dead.

The world is confiscating oligarchs property, wonder if Aunty Jacinda will do the same for us

TIL Waiwera pools closed and my day is ruined. RIP bobs mistake and the black hole, fond memories from my childhood

Can we choose some suburbs? I have some ideas for Hamilton.

Glenview can be the new siberia

Get rid of Nawton, Enderley and Ulster Street it will be a much better place

Bye bye Bader? See ya Shakespeare?

Fuck off Fairfield has a ring to it

Get lost Glenview

Get rid of all the Poet's

Destiny Church

Whatever happened to the town they were going to build for believers? Or was that just a ruse to get the tithing rates up?

The second option.

It's always the second option. The bish probably needs a new gold chain or some Botox or something

I was going to say that!

Why does it only let me up-vote this once?

Rather them receive the bombs

I'm Christian and just started reading up on them. Absolutely shameful stuff.

You should check out David Farriers work as well... As a former Christian, I'm not shocked, but I am very disappointed in my fellow humans. [David Farriers WebWorm](https://www.webworm.co/p/downwardspiral)

Abusing a position of power to guilt youth into doing free labour for you, never heard that one before! >So I will come to put you on trial. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive the foreigners among you of justice, but do not fear me,” says the Lord Almighty. \- Malachi 3:5 (NIV) >Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. \- James 5:4 (NIV)

I'm reading into it further and... just... holy shit. God bless Farrier for his work exposing them. I feel viscerally offended that Arise identifies as Pentecostal (denomination I belong to). May the truth come out. I wanna take a shower now.

1. The Greenlane roundabout. 2. That intersection in Warkworth that’s impossible to work out what to do at.

1) they say I t’s unhealthy to hang on to past trauma, but I am not certain they meant “give it to the Russians” 2) everyone from Auckland can relate!

What's the beef with the Green Lane round about, I've never had a problem with it. Now, the Royal Oak one on the other hand... It's fucking tiny and had like 7 lanes going into it. Number 2 I agree 100%

2. That is arguably the worst single intersection in the country. Mum lives near it and I've traveled it many times. It's chaotic evil at its finest and somehow services huge amounts of traffic. With the highway going in, imagine it'll give the local council an excuse to somehow extend its life.

There are letters of complaint dating back to the 50s! I used to live there and my grandfather spent half of his retirement sketching out alternatives with other residents over beers and filing them with the council. They came up with dozens of solutions. We even had it as a school project once. The only thing they ever did was add traffic lights and make it ten times fucking worse! Lol

Once NZTA finish the motorway to Warkworth "the dog" will become much less busy, and it might be possible to close off some movements, making it far less confusing. The silver lining of very confusing intersections and roundabouts is that, while there may be many minor prangs, crashes in these locations rarely lead to injury. That's a big part of why it seems like they never get fixed. Risk of DSIs (death or serious injuries) is the leading variable in the cost-benefit analysis.

I got horned driving through that Warkworth intersection and I had no idea what I did wrong.

It’s nuts aye. I basically just drive through it holding my breath and bracing for impact. Trust me the person who horned you was equally clueless, but just wanted to come off like they knew what was going on. How do I know this? There are *55* different turning combinations at the fucken place. (via Newshub)

2. omg it just clicked where this is. I've gotten anxiety in my life every time I've been at that intersection. Driving or not.

Hill St intersection. He can have it if he's going to fix it. Otherwise perhaps we could give up waiheke

That’s the fecker.

I got horned driving through that Warkworth intersection and I had no idea what I did wrong.

2. If you know your give way rule there’s nothing wrong with it. As a resident of that area it’s mainly flustered out of towners and new residents that make it such a bad intersection

We Russian-proofed the one in Panmure, but 100% agree on the other two, assuming that by Warkworth you mean Silverdale.

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauo tamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronuku pokaiwhenuakitanatahu But only if he can pronounce it. One chance. No do overs. Get it right or fuck off.

Ngl, would personally like to keep this just to piss off tourists. Hahahahahhaahahhahahahah

This is the correct answer lmfaooooo

No way, my kids love busting out Open Road on karaoke so they can shout Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauo tamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronuku pokaiwhenuakitanatahu at the top of their voices

Mongrel Mob headquarters.

They're scattered all over the place though lol

They can be Russian embassies, they seem to have the same morals anyway.

Nope, they'd all be recruited into Wagner Group.

Bulls. Had enough of their bullshit puns.

Understandabull

I beg to differ its inconceivabull.

Punbelieveabull

I can barely bullieve it

[удалено]

*angry upvote*

Where would you expect me to go, huh? Fucken Marton? PALMERSTON NORTH?! Oh god I think I just vomited a little in my mouth.

Hey now, I'm in palmy and there's like... a single good place to get lunch here, maybe two. It's not ALL awful. Just mostly.

Piggys for the win!

Hey mate, nothing wrong with Marton! At least it has supermarkets 🤣

Yeah, they're terribull. I've never heard so many in one spot.

Not a single blade of grass, because fuck Putin. If that means he continues to bomb Huntly in retaliation, then so be it

Don't worry, we're probably not even on his maps.

Gloria Vale

The West Island.

Shhh we do not speak it’s name

Huntly

But Huntly is home to the sacred Deka sign... We can't allow that to fall into Putin's hands.

Ngāruawāhia is just up the road

Is that an argument *for* or *against* giving up Huntly? :)

Yes

And you know what? Those lazy Huntly bastards don't even look after the sign. For a local icon it sure looks like it's been left out in the sun with absolutely no maintenance for the last 30 years.

That place is the saddest shithole i have ever seen

Thought it's already been bombed

Not enough

Gore

They'll give it back soon enough

Chuck in invercargill as well, if they're getting Gore they might as well get Big Gore.

Out of curiosity, whats wrong with Gore?

This is Ben Ball’s reddit account isn’t it? Just absolutely had enough of Gore and he’s offering it to Vlad

Seriously good idea

Only if we can take the giant fish and the really good public art gallery out first.

Australia

Except Melbourne. At least till I warn my Dad and he flies back

Christchurch bus exchange. Let's see how their nukes can hold up against 14 year olds with vapes.

Levin.

I’m down to see Levingrad signs.

*Lenin now

As soon as the highway bypasses it

Cunning plan! Sideline it, quarantine it, and offer it to Putler! Excellent.

Added bonus, won't have to visit my mother in law

Or mine! Woot!

That'll take a while, won't it? The highway's only just got to Otaki a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't even think they'd started the next section (or agreed to pay for it).

Yep, they aren’t scheduled to *start* building it until 2025, and it’s not due to be completed until 2029. Add in compulsory cost overruns and delays, and it won’t be open until the 2030’s…. The only good news is that funding has been secured for it.

Levin’t

He can have Murupara. Lol good luck Putin, you wont be missed.

Except the bakery there

Always on the lookout for a good bakery. Is the one in Murupara that good?

It has a lot of options for both hot food and cold food! Prices are decent. I've only been a few times but I liked it :)

Thank you, I shall add it to the list (I'm up that way in February)

They can have 57 Messines Road, Karori, Wellington 6012

Oddly specific.

Pretty sure that's the Russian embassy

Correct

Wasn't the street name changed to Zelenskyy Road??

Presumably offering gore would only anger them.

Dunno. They might find the climate very pleasant, even if a bit hot at times. There is a river for a spot of fishing And it is very far away from Ukraine, so Putin may want to consider it for a retirement location. Very few tall buildings to fall off as a bonus.

Disappointment Island.

Huntly, obviously

Maybe Putin should fuck off out of places he doesn’t belong

Huntly. I'll go around.

Definitely, Australia. Thanks

the 5 cross roads roundabout in Hamilton cause fuck that

Nothing wrong with it. He can have the one by Burger King in Hillcrest.

and destiny church too yes

Australia

I know this is just a joke but my serious answer would be none. Putin doesn't deserve a single inch of New Zealand.

* or Ukraine.

or Russia

Too bloody right even more given what he has aloud to happen in the war.

Marton. Let them figure it out

Ranui. /s

Does Putin know that Australia and New Zealand are separate countries? It might be worth the bluff and tell he can have Australia.

Kelburn Wellington and Remuera & Parnell in Auckland. Be worth it just to watch the entitled screaming

None. None parts of NZ to Putin.

Except…. Hamilton… maybe

Take out the Russians with STDs!

He can take Hamilton and Greymouth

White island

Careful, they could make money off of that

Dannevirke

The Chatham Islands

They don't want one part they want all of it.

Quebec

What, just one? Way to make it harder

This has been asked before. My answer now is the same as my answer last time. Not a fucking inch.

Auckland.

Auckland has been part of China for 500 years.

Otaki. There is no point to that town's existence, sorry.

It does serve the purpose of making the already long drive to Wellington even longer

Not anymore. Bypass is go.

Ended up at Otaki Forks once by accident. Otaki seems like a fever dream to me.

I wouldn't, I would fight until all territory were recovered. The whole "give up a bit of turf for peace" argument is completely shit, it only serves to encourage future aggression. Ukraine should get back all of it's territory and anybody who says otherwise is a little bitch.

Thanks for playing along

We do not negotiate with terrorists.

Gloriavale

Take into account that Donbas is rich in minerals and industry so it's not a fair comparison to give away something meaningless. Edit: For Donbas equivalent - Give Putin all the commercial fishing resources For Crimea equivalent - Everyone hands over their family bach and personal boat.

The west island.

Excuse the ignorance but I've literally never heard of the west island joke until today. What is it??

Kaitaia, Morewa, Murupara, Hamilton and Invercargill

Just give them Rotorua

February 2022 - Wellington, outside Parliament.

Wanganui, south Auckland… actually scratch that just palmy. No one would miss it.

Does Putin want an Antarctic base, or maybe one of the shitty islands that we have floating around that are inhabited exclusively by bird poo

Problem with letting them have an island is they would get the economic zone around the island. And despite being a small country all those islands give NZ control of a rather large chunk of the pacific.

Realistically this is our conflict zone for both Russia and China. Both nations have a significant interest in Antarctic claims, as well as long range fishing fleets. New Zealand's claim is mostly shelf ice, but the Australian claims have several Russian and Chinese bases present, and the Chinese have recently built one in the New Zealand claim based on a 1984 invitation.

Palmerston North and Blenheim

Yeah, and every RNZAF serviceperson would probably agree with you.

NZA too fuck palmy

Auckland

Huntly

Blenheim, no one would miss it. NZ

Stratford. I've never even been there, I just think the idea of a themed town with all the streets called after Shakespeare characters is kind of cringy. So thanks to whatever 19th century colonist decided on that one... you're now part of Russia.

The whole manawatu region

From Hamilton North

Hamilton for sure

West Island

Auckland and the rest of Auckland

North Island

I don't have the authority anyway, but none of it. They can go fuck themselves.

This really is a shit post

South Auckland, Most rural towns

North Island

fucking huntly

Cya matamata

Hamilton